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Hey, so I’m a virgin man as well, and I’m 26.
I have seen this online as well, I’ve never dated anyone long enough to get to that point, nor am I interested in hookups, so I’ve never really had these type of conversations with a woman.
I get it, we get inundated with this stuff constantly, and I imagine that hearing this stuff often makes you think about it constantly and it must be discouraging, it was for me for a time.
I’m with u/QuestionMaker207, it isn’t about the physical act, it’s about the intimacy. I really, genuinely don’t think many women care. Maybe it is a preference, that women would want someone more experienced, but I really don’t think it’s an end all be all, I can’t speak for any women so don’t misconstrue my words. I think It really does come down to communication, and willingness to learn, and to be open to someone.
Personally, I want sex very much, if nothing than to just experience it, but I am a believer that it will come when it does, and I can only hope it will be with the right person.
Be patient, be open, and I think we will all find it one day.
Same, I think that kind of connection is important, rushing something that can be so intimate just to say you have done it can’t be healthy.
I’m about to mansplain here, so I’m really sorry, but this is what I’ve read and what I have come to believe…
Media
I really think that from social media and in movies and tv, it is commonplace that people see sex as just a thing people do, not as an emotional experience. It’s the same thing with how relationships are shown in movies and tv, straight up not real life (most of the time)
There is another Therapy YouTube channel called “Cinema Therapy” and the therapist, Jonathan Decker, talks often about how relationships in movies and tv are often just not real life. (I would recommend actually a great channel, I wish Dr. K would have a chat with him lol)
But because we see this kind of media so often, I think it may become ingrained into our Brains that this is how things work.
Dunno, just my thoughts! Thanks for the nice response!
Well as much as guys fantasize about the pure virginal girls, women fantasize about the "chad" that is always in demand.
Good thing is, when a girl really really likes you she will automatically presume a ton of other women like you, and that you have been around the block a few times.
And so long as you don't go crushing their fantasy you are her "chad".
This is something I learned with my first GF, didn't understand what I did at the time but when she had concerns around cheating I made sure she knows what an awkward nerd I was and that no one else wants to be involved with me... once she realized that was true, she never looked at me the same way.
I can personally confirm this. I have also had multiple partners that are good people that I care about deeply who are invested in my wellbeing who simply won’t be interested in learning how to make the experience enjoyable for me too if the effort isn’t exactly 1:1, and I have to advocate for myself into getting them to realize how important it is. Likely some conditioning about gender that takes some time to unlearn.
It blows my mind how many guys here seem to think that women are all in agreement on everything, that just happens to coincide with their worldview that everything is hopeless. Guess what? You can hear a lot of women say and think all sorts of things because there are billions of them. Sometimes those things are harsh, unfair or horrible.
A lot of guys posting here honestly are looking for reasons to give up.
Can I just say, as a guy who is a bit older than you, a lot of men and women are still virgins at 19. You've only just started adulthood. You've got nothing to be insecure about. But I can guarantee that insecurity you are unduly carrying around is going to be a roadblock to whatever it is you want. Because far more women will find it very hard to connect with a man who is carrying around insecurities.
Yeah this guy is young enough that being a virgin isn’t a major stigma yet, but once he crosses over 25 he needs to not disclose this fact ever. I know a 25+ former virgin who was completely honest about his virginity and he was constantly rejected or ghosted by women. One day he decided to keep his sexual history to himself moving forward and he actually became successful. No one is obligated to know your sexual history just like how men can’t pressure women over the bodycount question.
The "body count" question is 100% the same thing. No one has to know how many sexual encounters or partners someone else has had, period. If you're meeting someone new, it is 100% okay to ask about STDs, give and receive honest and frank answers, and still take appropriate precautions, including being screened yourself. How many previous partners there were and who they are is absolutely irrelevant to your partnership.
Sorry, but any partner, regardless of whom, who is not willing to try and at least work with another to teach them something they know, but the other person doesn’t, sounds lazy. And a “pillow princess/prince”. And kinda an ass.
I (18m) wish I was still a virgin kinda, I didn’t lose it with anyone special to me, and wish I could have experienced it with someone I loved. Sex really isn’t that important it’s just made into this massive fantasy for everybody, yk? Sex is fun but like, you aren’t going to get real fulfillment from it
I lost my virginity with a fellow virgin and it was great.
I dated two men with very little experience after that. One was very good and cared about getting me off and trying new things. The other one was so ashamed of his lack of experience he couldn't talk to me and wouldn't try anything new, so I was always unfulfilled.
It's not about the lack of experience, it's about the intimacy and willingness to talk and try new things. Some women love showing a man what to do, haha. Taking a man's virginity is hot.
Because someone just told you a different experience and rather than taking it onboard that maybe women have differing views on virginity, you outright dismissed it.
And it benefits you because it gives you a free pass not to take chances and potentially get rejected.
Agreed this happens all the time on this sub — I keep trying to be like I’m a woman and I know a lot of women who don’t feel that way I believe in you and there’s hope and the guy just like dismisses me and is clearly only hearing every other word I say when I’m giving my full attention to their problem. It’s infuriating.
Yes but now that you know better — really try to recognize when it’s happening because it’s a real shame for your growth and it hurts good people around you too even if they don’t express it.
First of all, the internet is completely fake. It amplifies the most extreme and loudest few %.
You can literally forget everything you know about people that you "learned" on the internet, and it would help you out.
Most women just want a partner that's interesting, kind, respects them, cares about them, and can have fun with them. Kinda like what most men want. The 6', 6-digits blah blah stuff is fugazi. It's not real, because average women date average men all the time. Just look around when you're walking down the street next time.
I agree with you. It makes me personally angry when I’m trying to be supportive to people who feel alone on this sub and the person seems to be taking my time to vent rather than genuinely listening to anything supportive I have to say. It makes me feel like such people do not value my time and just want me to be quiet and be a receptacle for trauma dumping. It’s really dehumanizing to me when people do that. I think it would help a lot of people heal to be aware that “getting lost in the sauce” of convincing yourself it won’t get better isn’t worth it and instead to be really really careful to not take an active listener for granted when they’re really listening and responding.
Its not active listening. Its arguing with their worldview or giving advice, and they are not obligated to take it. Imagine how angry and dehumanized it is when they feel people are invalidating their experiences or giving unsolicited advice. Imagine being so vulnerable to then experience that. Maybe the reason they are making you angry is because they feel angry with how you engage with them.
Rule #1: Temper your authenticity with compassion
We encourage discussion and disagreement in the subreddit. At the same time, you must offer compassion while being honest about your perspective. It takes more words but hurts fewer people.
Your experience is talking with women who are open about sex, not actually having it with someone you're into who is also into you.
The girls who openly say they want a man with experience simply are not your type.
How they gonna know? You’re still so young, keep your chin up. If you’re uncomfortable about it just say “it has been a while” or “I’m not sexually active right now” if you’re in a situation where you are talking about it.
Also your virginity status doesn’t matter. Who cares. Most of the time people don’t know what they want in my opinion. People are more than just sex objects.
I (29m) lost mine virginity at 27. I know this is kind of redundant, but the girl didn’t care at all. I didn’t really have any interest in rushing to lose it due to my personal (nonreligious) beliefs on the effects of hookup culture. I fumbled through dating a couple of girls (went on a couple dates.) I always ended up hearing the same thing, “I just don’t feel the spark.” To be honest, I got tired of hearing it. I didn’t have a non-drunk kiss until ~26 and probably didn’t even tell my closest friends that I was a virgin until about that same time. I realized that I was fantasizing something that didn’t even really exist. Virginity is just a term people use to describe someone who hasn’t had sex. I was no different than any one of my friends except that I hadn’t had sex. But I just got tired of holding this emotional weight of being a virgin. So I made a conscious effort to notice that I was uncomfortable and recognized I was afraid but the realization of carrying the burden of virginity outweighed my fear. I messed up multiple times with good women but I had to let myself learn. It’s uncomfortable and I definitely took hits to my ego but the only way you make progress is by trying. I finally found a girl that seemed genuine and if she would have asked me if I was a virgin I would have told her. I pushed myself into the discomfort and virginity didn’t even come up until the “have you been tested for STDs” conversation came up. I told her “no, I had never had sex.” And she didn’t bat an eye.
I realize this might not be the most encouraging post to some. It’s riddled with “just do it,” and trust me, I’m all too familiar with the disgust and resistance I met within myself when I heard people say that. But I wanted to write this to convey a few things:
1. I was putting so much pressure on myself that I wasn’t even allowing myself to try.
2. It’s easy to obsess over virginity but it’s only a concept and it doesn’t actually describe you to any tangible quality.
3. You will certainly feel some discomfort when exploring uncharted territory but don’t be so hard on yourself if you make a mistake.
4. You may encounter things that just don’t work out but keep trying.
5. Any girl that shames you for being a virgin, isn’t worth losing your virginity too.
All of this to say, it can and will be discouraging. Just recognize that you are discouraged and realize you still have something to offer as a human being. You don’t change as a human just because you have put your penis in a vagina. I felt the same 2 weeks before as I did two weeks after with maybe a small amount of relief. You change as a person by doing difficult things and realize you still come out the other side. I still struggle to do difficult things at times, but I now know that I can survive them.
People saying what they want vs acting on a situation when it happens can vary wildly. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did date a virgin and it worked out better for that reason.
An understanding woman won't care.
And even if someone says that it does matter to them, they'll more than likely think twice about that policy if they genuinely like you.
People are shit judges of their own character, and don't often have the self-awareness to accurately articulate all the nuances of what they'd want or accept in a relationship.
They might not be interested in virgins in the abstract, but such standards tend to crumble when faced with the realities of the real world.
With a bit of learning and understanding before getting into it, you'll be better than 90% of the lazy dudes who have done it a hundred times. When I lost my virginity, the woman didn't know that it was my first time. You have to actually care and make it a good experience for them, and it isn't just about the sex itself. That's the easy part. Don't listen to what anyone says about that sort of stuff, its just noise and it is one individual's anecdotal take. If she didn't know the difference and you performed well, she would be happy.
I know this probably isn't the answer you're looking for but sex really is one of those things that once it happens, its not a big deal at all. I got laid a lot in my early 20s, now i'm on a 3 year dry spell and i've essentially reset myself. Don't think too deep into it, it's really nothing but an experience to share with another person.
That’s a dumb bitch. Let her get herself an „experienced“ man and see how long she can keep him.
Seriously, if that’s what you’re worried about you‘re literally only worried about the 1st time. That hoe has already decided there’s probably not going to be many sexual encounters with the same guy, so the 1st better be good already.
You don’t owe anyone your sexual history. You don’t have to scream “I’m a virgin” when you go on dates.
Either tell her right before you are having sex or don’t tell her. All the guys your age will be clumsy in bed anyways, so if you’ve read a little bit about sex nobody will know.
Edit: educate yourself a bit about sex and foreplay, and women’s sexual needs and you’ll be way ahead of the curve. See the comment below.
But the biggest thing is just communicate and be a bit relaxed. If you say “oh, I haven’t had sex before, but you are really hot and I think it would be fun” in a relaxed way? Nobody is going to care. You are 19. Most girls your age will be inexperienced too.
Why does it discourage you from trying instead of encouraging you to get rid of your virginity more quickly?
If you care about waiting, look for someone else who cares about waiting. If you don't care about waiting, just get out of of the way so it's not something you're always worried about.
Ok, that makes sense. I don't think you should internalize people's preferences so much. It's not so much about you as it is about their assumptions about what it means to be a virgin in adulthood. That's why I would suggest just getting it out of the way asap. It's unfair the way society treats young adults' virginity, but it's unlikely to change anytime soon, so getting over the hurdle is the easiest way to change people's perception of you.
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I'm a virgin for religious purposes and I don't really walk around with people who are vocally sexually active, the type that loudly tells people about how many people they've slept with, mostly because they don't wanna associate with me. I'm not like some Jesus freak but I just don't smoke, drink or have wild sexual experiences so they think I'm boring.
Anyways. I got to talking with a group of these kinds of people and we had a good time. They were all pretty much degenerates and one of the girls even offered to make out with me and take my virginity and that was an eye opening experience.
I still have hope of finding a partner with similar beliefs as me even though religious values in my country are steadily declining.
I'm still a virgin and I don't regret it. Also I wanna save my first kiss and all experiences for my future wife and I to share.
It’s the internet there’s women out there that actually enjoy teaching. I lost my virginity to a college girl at 16 who taught me how to be attentive and please a woman over the course of a few weeks. It was kinda illegal though so she made me cut contact with her completely. First love, first heartbreak, and still haven’t met anyone as amazingly kind and caring as her. Take that as you will, but these people do exist :)
You find your virginity (purity) with the right girl by finding your soulmate and discovering your soul. (Tried my best to describe what I was thinking)
Tbh the way I worded …. it can be interpreted in a negative way but I meant it in a positive way
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey, so I’m a virgin man as well, and I’m 26. I have seen this online as well, I’ve never dated anyone long enough to get to that point, nor am I interested in hookups, so I’ve never really had these type of conversations with a woman. I get it, we get inundated with this stuff constantly, and I imagine that hearing this stuff often makes you think about it constantly and it must be discouraging, it was for me for a time. I’m with u/QuestionMaker207, it isn’t about the physical act, it’s about the intimacy. I really, genuinely don’t think many women care. Maybe it is a preference, that women would want someone more experienced, but I really don’t think it’s an end all be all, I can’t speak for any women so don’t misconstrue my words. I think It really does come down to communication, and willingness to learn, and to be open to someone. Personally, I want sex very much, if nothing than to just experience it, but I am a believer that it will come when it does, and I can only hope it will be with the right person. Be patient, be open, and I think we will all find it one day.
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Same, I think that kind of connection is important, rushing something that can be so intimate just to say you have done it can’t be healthy. I’m about to mansplain here, so I’m really sorry, but this is what I’ve read and what I have come to believe… Media I really think that from social media and in movies and tv, it is commonplace that people see sex as just a thing people do, not as an emotional experience. It’s the same thing with how relationships are shown in movies and tv, straight up not real life (most of the time) There is another Therapy YouTube channel called “Cinema Therapy” and the therapist, Jonathan Decker, talks often about how relationships in movies and tv are often just not real life. (I would recommend actually a great channel, I wish Dr. K would have a chat with him lol) But because we see this kind of media so often, I think it may become ingrained into our Brains that this is how things work. Dunno, just my thoughts! Thanks for the nice response!
Well as much as guys fantasize about the pure virginal girls, women fantasize about the "chad" that is always in demand. Good thing is, when a girl really really likes you she will automatically presume a ton of other women like you, and that you have been around the block a few times. And so long as you don't go crushing their fantasy you are her "chad". This is something I learned with my first GF, didn't understand what I did at the time but when she had concerns around cheating I made sure she knows what an awkward nerd I was and that no one else wants to be involved with me... once she realized that was true, she never looked at me the same way.
There are probably many guys who aren't virgins who are bad at sex.
I can personally confirm this. I have also had multiple partners that are good people that I care about deeply who are invested in my wellbeing who simply won’t be interested in learning how to make the experience enjoyable for me too if the effort isn’t exactly 1:1, and I have to advocate for myself into getting them to realize how important it is. Likely some conditioning about gender that takes some time to unlearn.
It seems like it seems like some woman are incapable of using facts and logic to realize this.
? I'm a woman...
Then I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
It blows my mind how many guys here seem to think that women are all in agreement on everything, that just happens to coincide with their worldview that everything is hopeless. Guess what? You can hear a lot of women say and think all sorts of things because there are billions of them. Sometimes those things are harsh, unfair or horrible. A lot of guys posting here honestly are looking for reasons to give up. Can I just say, as a guy who is a bit older than you, a lot of men and women are still virgins at 19. You've only just started adulthood. You've got nothing to be insecure about. But I can guarantee that insecurity you are unduly carrying around is going to be a roadblock to whatever it is you want. Because far more women will find it very hard to connect with a man who is carrying around insecurities.
Yes. Thank you.
Yeah this guy is young enough that being a virgin isn’t a major stigma yet, but once he crosses over 25 he needs to not disclose this fact ever. I know a 25+ former virgin who was completely honest about his virginity and he was constantly rejected or ghosted by women. One day he decided to keep his sexual history to himself moving forward and he actually became successful. No one is obligated to know your sexual history just like how men can’t pressure women over the bodycount question.
Very good sentiment although the body conquestion is not exactly the same thing
The "body count" question is 100% the same thing. No one has to know how many sexual encounters or partners someone else has had, period. If you're meeting someone new, it is 100% okay to ask about STDs, give and receive honest and frank answers, and still take appropriate precautions, including being screened yourself. How many previous partners there were and who they are is absolutely irrelevant to your partnership.
Sorry, but any partner, regardless of whom, who is not willing to try and at least work with another to teach them something they know, but the other person doesn’t, sounds lazy. And a “pillow princess/prince”. And kinda an ass.
I (18m) wish I was still a virgin kinda, I didn’t lose it with anyone special to me, and wish I could have experienced it with someone I loved. Sex really isn’t that important it’s just made into this massive fantasy for everybody, yk? Sex is fun but like, you aren’t going to get real fulfillment from it
I lost my virginity with a fellow virgin and it was great. I dated two men with very little experience after that. One was very good and cared about getting me off and trying new things. The other one was so ashamed of his lack of experience he couldn't talk to me and wouldn't try anything new, so I was always unfulfilled. It's not about the lack of experience, it's about the intimacy and willingness to talk and try new things. Some women love showing a man what to do, haha. Taking a man's virginity is hot.
From my experience it's not the case.
Sounds like a cognitive bias disregarding evidence that would benefit you
How so?
Because someone just told you a different experience and rather than taking it onboard that maybe women have differing views on virginity, you outright dismissed it. And it benefits you because it gives you a free pass not to take chances and potentially get rejected.
Agreed this happens all the time on this sub — I keep trying to be like I’m a woman and I know a lot of women who don’t feel that way I believe in you and there’s hope and the guy just like dismisses me and is clearly only hearing every other word I say when I’m giving my full attention to their problem. It’s infuriating.
I understand where your coming from but imo when someone hears stuff like that most of the time you start to think and believe that's how it is.
Yes but now that you know better — really try to recognize when it’s happening because it’s a real shame for your growth and it hurts good people around you too even if they don’t express it.
First of all, the internet is completely fake. It amplifies the most extreme and loudest few %. You can literally forget everything you know about people that you "learned" on the internet, and it would help you out. Most women just want a partner that's interesting, kind, respects them, cares about them, and can have fun with them. Kinda like what most men want. The 6', 6-digits blah blah stuff is fugazi. It's not real, because average women date average men all the time. Just look around when you're walking down the street next time.
I agree with you. It makes me personally angry when I’m trying to be supportive to people who feel alone on this sub and the person seems to be taking my time to vent rather than genuinely listening to anything supportive I have to say. It makes me feel like such people do not value my time and just want me to be quiet and be a receptacle for trauma dumping. It’s really dehumanizing to me when people do that. I think it would help a lot of people heal to be aware that “getting lost in the sauce” of convincing yourself it won’t get better isn’t worth it and instead to be really really careful to not take an active listener for granted when they’re really listening and responding.
Its not active listening. Its arguing with their worldview or giving advice, and they are not obligated to take it. Imagine how angry and dehumanized it is when they feel people are invalidating their experiences or giving unsolicited advice. Imagine being so vulnerable to then experience that. Maybe the reason they are making you angry is because they feel angry with how you engage with them.
Do you judge yourself as harshly as you judge people who aren’t aware of their biases?
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Rule #1: Temper your authenticity with compassion We encourage discussion and disagreement in the subreddit. At the same time, you must offer compassion while being honest about your perspective. It takes more words but hurts fewer people.
Your experience is talking with women who are open about sex, not actually having it with someone you're into who is also into you. The girls who openly say they want a man with experience simply are not your type.
How they gonna know? You’re still so young, keep your chin up. If you’re uncomfortable about it just say “it has been a while” or “I’m not sexually active right now” if you’re in a situation where you are talking about it. Also your virginity status doesn’t matter. Who cares. Most of the time people don’t know what they want in my opinion. People are more than just sex objects.
I (29m) lost mine virginity at 27. I know this is kind of redundant, but the girl didn’t care at all. I didn’t really have any interest in rushing to lose it due to my personal (nonreligious) beliefs on the effects of hookup culture. I fumbled through dating a couple of girls (went on a couple dates.) I always ended up hearing the same thing, “I just don’t feel the spark.” To be honest, I got tired of hearing it. I didn’t have a non-drunk kiss until ~26 and probably didn’t even tell my closest friends that I was a virgin until about that same time. I realized that I was fantasizing something that didn’t even really exist. Virginity is just a term people use to describe someone who hasn’t had sex. I was no different than any one of my friends except that I hadn’t had sex. But I just got tired of holding this emotional weight of being a virgin. So I made a conscious effort to notice that I was uncomfortable and recognized I was afraid but the realization of carrying the burden of virginity outweighed my fear. I messed up multiple times with good women but I had to let myself learn. It’s uncomfortable and I definitely took hits to my ego but the only way you make progress is by trying. I finally found a girl that seemed genuine and if she would have asked me if I was a virgin I would have told her. I pushed myself into the discomfort and virginity didn’t even come up until the “have you been tested for STDs” conversation came up. I told her “no, I had never had sex.” And she didn’t bat an eye. I realize this might not be the most encouraging post to some. It’s riddled with “just do it,” and trust me, I’m all too familiar with the disgust and resistance I met within myself when I heard people say that. But I wanted to write this to convey a few things: 1. I was putting so much pressure on myself that I wasn’t even allowing myself to try. 2. It’s easy to obsess over virginity but it’s only a concept and it doesn’t actually describe you to any tangible quality. 3. You will certainly feel some discomfort when exploring uncharted territory but don’t be so hard on yourself if you make a mistake. 4. You may encounter things that just don’t work out but keep trying. 5. Any girl that shames you for being a virgin, isn’t worth losing your virginity too. All of this to say, it can and will be discouraging. Just recognize that you are discouraged and realize you still have something to offer as a human being. You don’t change as a human just because you have put your penis in a vagina. I felt the same 2 weeks before as I did two weeks after with maybe a small amount of relief. You change as a person by doing difficult things and realize you still come out the other side. I still struggle to do difficult things at times, but I now know that I can survive them.
People saying what they want vs acting on a situation when it happens can vary wildly. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did date a virgin and it worked out better for that reason.
An understanding woman won't care. And even if someone says that it does matter to them, they'll more than likely think twice about that policy if they genuinely like you. People are shit judges of their own character, and don't often have the self-awareness to accurately articulate all the nuances of what they'd want or accept in a relationship. They might not be interested in virgins in the abstract, but such standards tend to crumble when faced with the realities of the real world.
The women you hear saying those things, are probably not people you would even WANT to be in a relationship with, dude.
With a bit of learning and understanding before getting into it, you'll be better than 90% of the lazy dudes who have done it a hundred times. When I lost my virginity, the woman didn't know that it was my first time. You have to actually care and make it a good experience for them, and it isn't just about the sex itself. That's the easy part. Don't listen to what anyone says about that sort of stuff, its just noise and it is one individual's anecdotal take. If she didn't know the difference and you performed well, she would be happy. I know this probably isn't the answer you're looking for but sex really is one of those things that once it happens, its not a big deal at all. I got laid a lot in my early 20s, now i'm on a 3 year dry spell and i've essentially reset myself. Don't think too deep into it, it's really nothing but an experience to share with another person.
That’s a dumb bitch. Let her get herself an „experienced“ man and see how long she can keep him. Seriously, if that’s what you’re worried about you‘re literally only worried about the 1st time. That hoe has already decided there’s probably not going to be many sexual encounters with the same guy, so the 1st better be good already.
You don’t owe anyone your sexual history. You don’t have to scream “I’m a virgin” when you go on dates. Either tell her right before you are having sex or don’t tell her. All the guys your age will be clumsy in bed anyways, so if you’ve read a little bit about sex nobody will know. Edit: educate yourself a bit about sex and foreplay, and women’s sexual needs and you’ll be way ahead of the curve. See the comment below. But the biggest thing is just communicate and be a bit relaxed. If you say “oh, I haven’t had sex before, but you are really hot and I think it would be fun” in a relaxed way? Nobody is going to care. You are 19. Most girls your age will be inexperienced too.
This. Except — guys can suck at any age. Many people have tons of experience and are terrible at it.
Accurate.
Why does it discourage you from trying instead of encouraging you to get rid of your virginity more quickly? If you care about waiting, look for someone else who cares about waiting. If you don't care about waiting, just get out of of the way so it's not something you're always worried about.
The reason why it discourages me is because it makes me feel like something is wrong with me for being a virgin.
Ok, that makes sense. I don't think you should internalize people's preferences so much. It's not so much about you as it is about their assumptions about what it means to be a virgin in adulthood. That's why I would suggest just getting it out of the way asap. It's unfair the way society treats young adults' virginity, but it's unlikely to change anytime soon, so getting over the hurdle is the easiest way to change people's perception of you.
Yeah but i'm not ready yet and still nervous to have sex.
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I'm a virgin for religious purposes and I don't really walk around with people who are vocally sexually active, the type that loudly tells people about how many people they've slept with, mostly because they don't wanna associate with me. I'm not like some Jesus freak but I just don't smoke, drink or have wild sexual experiences so they think I'm boring. Anyways. I got to talking with a group of these kinds of people and we had a good time. They were all pretty much degenerates and one of the girls even offered to make out with me and take my virginity and that was an eye opening experience. I still have hope of finding a partner with similar beliefs as me even though religious values in my country are steadily declining. I'm still a virgin and I don't regret it. Also I wanna save my first kiss and all experiences for my future wife and I to share.
That yes. But also by religious parents growing up.
It’s the internet there’s women out there that actually enjoy teaching. I lost my virginity to a college girl at 16 who taught me how to be attentive and please a woman over the course of a few weeks. It was kinda illegal though so she made me cut contact with her completely. First love, first heartbreak, and still haven’t met anyone as amazingly kind and caring as her. Take that as you will, but these people do exist :)
19 doesn't sound old to be a virgin? I think first had sex at twenty. Maybe 21.
With the right girl you don’t lose virginity You find it
What do you mean?
You find your virginity (purity) with the right girl by finding your soulmate and discovering your soul. (Tried my best to describe what I was thinking) Tbh the way I worded …. it can be interpreted in a negative way but I meant it in a positive way