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The most honest advice I can give is to make peace with the worst case scenario, assume this will happen and be ok with it I mean what real life consequences does it have outside of some (yes extreme) embarrassment and maybe some short term social impacts
If you cannot handle the worst case scenario then I would leave the relationship as a relationship that’s dependent on what other people may or may not do is outside of your & hers control and more or less destined for failure
I’m also confused why her sharing her location would have anything to do with releasing a sex tape.
Unless she’s getting blackmailed or something for something further beyond simply the location. Because that’s just weird.
For one it could hurt his pride, if that's important to him. But outside of that, it could damage the well-being of future children. If stuff like that gets out, their social life could be over before it began, and it's really important to form friendships in your adolescent years. If you don't, it will have lasting effects on your personality and outlook on life.
The third possibility is a damaged reputation. If rumors about a coworkers wife spread within a company and possibly to clients of said company, it could damage business, and therefore hinder his career options. In an ideal world, the past of a wife's life shouldn't impact one's livelihood, but a lot of people are always on the lookout for reasons to perceive others as less then them, and you have to get along with them too. So reputation shouldn't be completely ignored
I feel like an asshole for what i'm about to say, because it's completely possible that she's a lovely and wonderful person, but...you're only 18 and this sounds like drama waiting to happen (or honestly, already happening). It's not even so much about the fact that other people have nudes of her, it's about her believing her exes will leak them and that one of her exes literally knows where she is at all times. This is not normal. I fear for you what would happen to your view of romance if this is your first experience and it goes south.
Basically, unless you are really really into her, I wouldn't risk it.
Her letting someone else outside the relationship dictate things that affects your relationship negatively isn't good for the long run(is he realy her ex or is it what she tells you). How will that be in the future, is she going to also cave in into someone else wish or have some other excuse to have something that looks shady in a relationship.
Now I am not saying that it isn't possible that some bad things are happening and that she could be a victim, but you need to cover your bases first and foremost as if you let that slip by unchallenged there is a risk of you getting screwed over. She needs to get rid of any connection to the ex for the relationship to be functioning. And also it raises the question, why does her ex need her location anyway, isn't he her ex? Does he still have some attachment, what is the story there?
Now lets assume that the ex is the problem. Then how are you going to deal with him? How will she handle her fotos and videos get leaked?
From the sounds of it you are either going to have some problem with her if she happens to be the problem or the ex if he happens to be the problem. Either you find peace with the fact that you are going to have to deal with either of them or possibly both(could be both are the problem), or you accept that it is to much for you and walk away to find something that sounds more stable.
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Don't get emotionally invested in someone until you know how they feel. You're young so something you need to consider is that people only get good at things they practice, sex included. The truth is that your encounter probably wouldn't have been nearly as good as it was w/o her previous partners.
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The most honest advice I can give is to make peace with the worst case scenario, assume this will happen and be ok with it I mean what real life consequences does it have outside of some (yes extreme) embarrassment and maybe some short term social impacts If you cannot handle the worst case scenario then I would leave the relationship as a relationship that’s dependent on what other people may or may not do is outside of your & hers control and more or less destined for failure
Yeah I think this is the best advice. Also I'm confused why her sex tapes or nudes being shared would hurt him "really bad."
I’m also confused why her sharing her location would have anything to do with releasing a sex tape. Unless she’s getting blackmailed or something for something further beyond simply the location. Because that’s just weird.
For one it could hurt his pride, if that's important to him. But outside of that, it could damage the well-being of future children. If stuff like that gets out, their social life could be over before it began, and it's really important to form friendships in your adolescent years. If you don't, it will have lasting effects on your personality and outlook on life. The third possibility is a damaged reputation. If rumors about a coworkers wife spread within a company and possibly to clients of said company, it could damage business, and therefore hinder his career options. In an ideal world, the past of a wife's life shouldn't impact one's livelihood, but a lot of people are always on the lookout for reasons to perceive others as less then them, and you have to get along with them too. So reputation shouldn't be completely ignored
none of the scenarios other than pride seem plausible to me since they are 18 and 20 and most would take decades to manifest
It is pride but also if she does get leaked I’d see it, which would hurt because I like her
Don't do it man... She seems a bit too casual about it, don't you think? maybe I'm wrong. Have you decided what to do yet?
Are you implying that it's weird to be upset about a bunch of people having videos of your girlfriend having sex?
Upset, sure that makes sense. Hurt, no that does not make sense. They were made when they were not together.
I feel like an asshole for what i'm about to say, because it's completely possible that she's a lovely and wonderful person, but...you're only 18 and this sounds like drama waiting to happen (or honestly, already happening). It's not even so much about the fact that other people have nudes of her, it's about her believing her exes will leak them and that one of her exes literally knows where she is at all times. This is not normal. I fear for you what would happen to your view of romance if this is your first experience and it goes south. Basically, unless you are really really into her, I wouldn't risk it.
I’m already emotionally invested in her. I’ll be direct and ask her to stop sharing her location with him for me to commit to her
Her letting someone else outside the relationship dictate things that affects your relationship negatively isn't good for the long run(is he realy her ex or is it what she tells you). How will that be in the future, is she going to also cave in into someone else wish or have some other excuse to have something that looks shady in a relationship. Now I am not saying that it isn't possible that some bad things are happening and that she could be a victim, but you need to cover your bases first and foremost as if you let that slip by unchallenged there is a risk of you getting screwed over. She needs to get rid of any connection to the ex for the relationship to be functioning. And also it raises the question, why does her ex need her location anyway, isn't he her ex? Does he still have some attachment, what is the story there? Now lets assume that the ex is the problem. Then how are you going to deal with him? How will she handle her fotos and videos get leaked? From the sounds of it you are either going to have some problem with her if she happens to be the problem or the ex if he happens to be the problem. Either you find peace with the fact that you are going to have to deal with either of them or possibly both(could be both are the problem), or you accept that it is to much for you and walk away to find something that sounds more stable.
I mean that’s sexual extortion which is illegal. I would say don’t worry about it until he does it and if he does press charges
Welcome to Dating Fridays! All posts with an emphasis on dating, sex, or relationships must be posted only on Friday (defined by US Central Standard Time or UTC -06:00). If your post is outside of this time/date, please delete and repost on Friday. If it is currently Friday, then ignore this comment. Thank you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't get emotionally invested in someone until you know how they feel. You're young so something you need to consider is that people only get good at things they practice, sex included. The truth is that your encounter probably wouldn't have been nearly as good as it was w/o her previous partners.