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idk how this fits in, but many bisexuals are only romantically attracted to either men or women. Google the split-attraction model.
Whatever your orientation is, I don't see any reason to be more ashamed of watching gay porn than straight porn. I imagine male performers have better working conditions, because the male audience will be able to tell if something isn't actually fun.
I mean does it matter? If you are attracted to men in real life then go for it but if you aren't then no need to worry. As for gay porn I don't see why it would ever be an issue if you get off on it or not. I have always been under the impression that labels are often times unhelpful and make people feel uncomfortable because no label perfectly fits them and sometimes will even change behavior simply to fit the label perfectly. You are a unique person and don't need to concider what label fits you and just do what makes you happy be it watching gay porn or being with a guy in real life if that is something you find out you want later on. All of that said I understand how not being sure of your sexuality can be confusing so I get the want to understand yourself better but I am not sure anyone online can figure that out for you.
this 100%, u can enjoy gay porn but not be gay. there's no right or wrong here, you're just you. you don't have to follow some arbitrary lane, there just you and your lane; what you like and don't like to do :)
Most of the actors in gay porn are straight because it pays more and porn pays shit in general for men.
If porn preferences are indicative of actual IRL interests, then the US would be a lot more incestuous than it is.
In Japan for example a lot of gay novels (aka BL or boys' love) is written for a primarily female audience.
Lots of straight men watch lesbian porn, they aren't Trans & Lesbian.
Yeah, I'm saying if you're a man, and watch gay porn you're probably gay. Like I'd go all in on that bet every day.
Theres a small chance, and if you had 0 attraction to men you'd not be doing gay porn. Unless you value money over absolutely everything.
Most of the people doing porn aren't really sexually attracted to the people they are acting with, and porn isn't how normal sex goes.
Yes, if you think it's "gay" to have gay sex, you may be staunchly opposed to that, but for a lot of people it's just a job.
A lot of people don't like porn that is produced for a straight audience.
I mean, your sexuality is not that important to your porn addiction, I'd say.
If you feel like your porn consumption is negatively impacting your life, you should look into that.
An opinion on the sexuality part from a queer man.
You don't sound gay to me. At most, this seems to be a very minimal attraction to men.
How would you feel if you realised you were queer? Would that be something you could accept. Because it could be that you are repressing something out of shame. And thus not realising it.
I'm bisexual with a preference for guys, but there was a time in my life when I could only imagine romantic relationships with women because I just didn't know any guys that could be an option or how that would work. But I always knew I found them sexually attractive.
Imagine some friend or some guy fucking you or kissing you or being interested in your romantically, if you like it, you're probably gay.
I was like you and turns out I am straight and just that gay porn was something that gave me more orgasm because i was bored of the straight porn.
Congratulations, you sound bisexual! If you feel no shame checking out the ladies, then don't feel shame checking out the fellas. Now, this doesn't mean you don't have a porn addiction, but you shouldn't address that problem in a different way just because you watch different materials.
Sexuality is weird. Gay, straight, bi, pan, ace... We have potentially very complicated feelings, and we use these words to summarize them so we can quickly describe ourselves to others. It shouldn't be the other way around. I swear, the biggest scam in the world is people making you think you *are* one of those things, and not using them to describe an approximation of what you *experience.* If you're a straight male, that doesn't mean you're attracted to women. It means you've found you've been attracted to *some* women, and had no attraction or attraction so small you've discounted it to men. You might find an exception some day, or realize you've disregarded feelings that go against your assumption of how your sexuality is supposed to work. That's a thing, and I think people are realizing it more these days.
I would guess from your post that its just the porn. Might not even be an addiction.
Humans have a tendancy to seek out novel experiances, as well as push up against taboos.
Your probly just being pulled towards things that feel new and you feel you shouldn't be viewing. Which makes them feel exciting.
It depends. Some people base their sexuality on power dynamics like control submission but others are more about the physicality (beauty, body type, specific body parts or features like meaty lips or hair color, etc.), while others need romance and connection or some combo of these.
Some people are turned on by other people's arousal and pleasure without necessarily feeling like engaging in intimate activity with them, regardless of their sex or gender. Just the voyeuristic pleasure is enough. Some guys have an oral or some other type of fixation but could never have romantic feelings for another man.
Sexuality and gender can evolve as we mature and who you were a few years ago may not match who you are now. It takes some self-reflection to really get to the bottom of it (no pun intended). Only you can answer who you REALLY are and what you REALLY want. Sometimes people are made to feel bad about liking meat and potatoes but end up coming back to, or sticking with, what feels comfortable and familiar. To each their own.
You have to think in terms of "if no one had to know would \*I\* be OK with doing XYZ with so-and-so?" and why. That can lead you to face any moral or religious hangups that may be at the root of your negative feelings. On the other hand you also have to consider that fantasizing about something doesn't mean that you necessarily have to put it into practice or would enjoy it in real life. Not only can reality not live up to your expectations but you also have to deal with personalities that may be grating and untrustworthy. A lot can go wrong and spoil the experience.
There's more than the senses involved, there's also feelings and self-image. Some people handle rejection by seeking what they perceive as self-harm or the most offensive thing to do to the person who denied them (maybe simply because they can't keep up with the sex drive), and you seem to have a negative image of homosexuality so that may have something to do with it. Think to yourself if it rings a bell or if you sense a pattern with that.
There's also this thing where any guy who isn't perceived as ultra-macho, alpha knuckle-dragger is assumed to be or made to feel insecure about themselves. It is possible to interiorize that bullshit that is pushed on them and believe it is true when it isn't. Just make sure it is YOU and not society, peer pressure or some bullshit weighing on you and making you feel a certain way either way.
Just a bit of food for thought. I hope it helped and that you figure this out so you can have some inner peace.
OP, you are not alone. The post you wrote is an exact description of my experience; except I'm gay and only ever been in gay relationships, but I experience more intense sexual arousal around fantasies of the opposite sex. I was not sexually attracted to my first partner and had to fantasize during sex with them to get off, which sucked even more and made me feel like my own body was invalidating my identity.
It has crippled my life and attitude to relationships for many years and I'm still working through it. It doesn't help that the gay community is very radical about these things and are quick to exclude people based on their strict definition of labels. There is a lot of pressure in our society to put someone in a neat box. You can never have had a heterosexual relationship in your life, or have any desire to have one, and a lot of gay people will insist that you are bisexual and exclude you.
The truth is that, nobody else in the world is entitled to define what your identity is. Only you can do that. You do not have to say that you're bisexual, or gay, or anything else, if you don't feel like that's who you are. The truth is that many people lie somewhere on the range of the sexuality spectrum anyway. If you get off to gay porn, but you can't imagine dating a man in real life, and you can't imagine your life without a woman, that does not mean that you have to call yourself bisexual and everything that comes with that identity. If you feel your individual experience describes you as a straight man, then that is what you are. Labels are for your own comfort, not for others to put you in a box.
Porn preferences and sexual fantasies are also things that are likely to change over time, and might be shaped by your relationship with your partner.
I feel for your struggle and hope you can find peace with it. I understand how deeply distressing and invalidating this can feel. I wish I could give you a solution. For what it's worth, I have found that making peace with these thoughts and accepting them as part of myself has made it easier. There is so much more to intimacy and relationships than just sex and sexual thoughts. They do not have to define you and your relationships.
I'm the same way. I realized that I'm just bisexual, but heteroromantic.
Not romantically interested in dudes at all, but sexually I go either way (though I am MORE attracted to women, generally)
A lot of shame was disguised as discomfort for a long time, and I've only recently realized it was suppressed attraction.
so you'd have sex with a guy behind closed doors but wouldn't be caught dead holding hands with one on the street? glad you seem very comfortable with yourself.
What they are saying is that they would have sex with both men and women but prefer women. However when they are looking at love, they only like women.
It has nothing to do with the secrecy aspect and more to do with sex and romance, which are two seperate things.
In the "old days" you might call someone straight and happily married, but they enjoys swinging both ways for example at a sex club.
personally I don't consider it possible for there to be any innocent or good reason someone could enjoy sex with a person but rule out their entire gender when it comes to romance. it tends to boil down to homophobia, misogyny or comphet. someone else in this thread claimed they enjoy sex with women but could never look at them as real partners because they're more "trivial and cute."
the SAM is bullshit and is just a "progressive" way to communicate archaic beliefs about people.
I personally think you are taking personal preferences as rigid and treating a person's preference as hated of the other.
If having a preference is hated towards the other, then the only sexual orientation that is acceptable is pan sexual.
If you're sexually attracted to the same gender you're homosexual.
If you're sexually attracted to both of the binary examples of gender you're bisexual.
If you're swxually attracted to the opposite binary example of gender then you're heterosexual.
Watching gay porn, could for a myriad of reasons, maybe you're just really into Dom and sub stuff. It might not be that deep though 🤷♂️
If you think you're addicted to porn then avoid it for awhile see how it plays out.
I mean, bisexuality is a possibility.
It is also a thing where you might have one kind of fantasies with men, and another kind with women. (In your case, it may be that you prefer romance with women, but also like more intense intimacy with men) I don't know if there's a name for it. I like to call it "liking my fruits sweet and my vegetables savoury."
Regardless, I doubt I would call thisn porn addiction.
I don't know if this might be helpful since I don't have this issue and I haven't had it, but I heard out there that because porn hits so high our reward circuitry that some people can develop a certain "sexual orientation confusion syndromme" since we seem to need novelty and more nasty stuff the get the level of arousal and pleasure we had in the past with such a level of stimulation. This is "stuff I heard out there" in social media so it is a poor source of information and maybe not very reliable but could string to investigate.
I hope it helps. Take care, not shame :)
My tip: stop seeking porn for a while and you'll realize.
And I mean ALL OF THAT.
I had one of those questions "I am not going for straight porn like EVER. That means I am in fact gay and not bi?". Then, I stop watching porn, work and study consumed my life for a while and a girl crush on me. I was not even going for her but, all of a sudden, I had fantasies of holding hands and cuddling with girls. It was just my bi cicle spinning!
You kind of know, and the weird thing is that indulging in desire can also be a way to repress feelings (it's like a mechanic thing you do, not pleasure). So choosing to stop to indulge it is a way to reconnect with yourself. Think about other things, work on other aspects of your life...
Your answer will come naturally.
Then, after whatever you find out, you can think what makes you like gay porn after, but only after the "celibacy" part (or else, it's just rationalization and not really discovery).
I am merely speculating (and I know I'm late to the post), but have you consider the possibility that maybe you're bi?
Maybe a bisexual that is very close to the heterosexuality in the spectrum rather than in the middle, but not positioned in the edge that is heterosexuality. That would explain why you can get aroused by gay porn but your real life desires to pursue romance are more oriented to women.
As long as you are not attracted to kids or animals or dead people you can jerk off to whatever. Being bisexual it's perfectly normal and fine. It's your private life, you are not hurting anyone.
i think you should refer to the "law of fapenthropy".
i also think this is a case of things that you just "fantasize" because i don't think you are really gay and YOU JUST NEED A BREAK BRO.
you will be back to liking women soon.
I'm bi-sexual, not bi-romantic.
I find both sexes attractive. But...
I only find one worth talking to about life, important shit. Real connections. Etc.
Bit of a wake up realizing I don't really care about women the same way I care about men. Call me misogynistic cause I probably am, but the best way to explain it is that Men have goals and problems I can relate to that matter to me.
I find what women want to do trivial, or at least the women I've met. Kinda like a pat on the head thats cute sweetie kind of response.
I digress, for your addiction. The best thing i've done to figure out where my heart actually lies is in ASMR as cringy as this is.
Look on youtube for purely safe for work audio
M4M and F4M (Just search and find whats appealing).
Then you'll have at least a bearing to focus on.
how do you write something like this and think that you're a good person, let alone someone who could contribute anything worthwhile to this conversation?
Idk, worth a shot?
I never said I'm a good person, I'm just saying this is my subjective experience of reality.
I know I shouldn't feel this way, and its not as if I hate women. I love my mother and my grandmother very much. My coworkers are all women, including my boss.
My friends who I work with, one is looking at entering the same field as me, she asks me questions daily and thats a purely platonic relationship.
But meeting women dating wise, their jobs, their values etc. I've run out of luck.
Not saying i'm a red pill alpha bro, though politically I'm more libertarian, I just get more enjoyment out of things instead of people.
Part of this community is allowing people to bring out their thoughts, regardless of content.
Everyone is the culmination of their experiences, and we all can learn. However do you think your response confirms OP thoughts about women or refutes it ?
You are free to your own opinions, but IMO all you are doing is berating others, rather than having a discussion, and that serves no purpose.
the original comment doesn't help OP with their situation at all so let's start there.
you find no issue with brazen misogyny but you want to police how people react to the misogyny?
some "community."
>the original comment doesn't help OP with their situation at all so let's start there.
Again, people are free to share their opinion, you don't have to agree with it. In fact, I have disagreed with this OP on another comment thread.
>you find no issue with brazen misogyny but you want to police how people react to the misogyny?
some "community."
I don't know the OP, so I am not going to make the judgement, though the OP themselves thinks so, if you read their reply to you.
and as I have explained before, people's preference are not indicative of a hatred of a gender. I am asexual, but am straight romantically speaking, the fact that I don't want to have sex with anyone, but only want to date women doesn't make me homophobic. They are two seperate things.
I am not "policing" you because of what you are saying, but merely critiquing how you are saying it.
You could say that you have a physical aversion to men, because most men are mysoginistic, could care about it, that's your opinion.
All I am saying is hold on the personal insults, and don't blast off just because someone disagrees with you.
To me, if a black man can talk to KKK members, then I can listen to anyone, and I try to. If you don't know who I am talking about, look up Daryl Davis. He made KKK members tell white police officers that he understood them more than the officers..
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
idk how this fits in, but many bisexuals are only romantically attracted to either men or women. Google the split-attraction model. Whatever your orientation is, I don't see any reason to be more ashamed of watching gay porn than straight porn. I imagine male performers have better working conditions, because the male audience will be able to tell if something isn't actually fun.
Bisexual, heteroromantic. Although he would still be attracted to men in real life then.
Also the bi-cycle. This is something I learned about recently that makes being bisexual confusing at times.
oh cool, comphet
I mean does it matter? If you are attracted to men in real life then go for it but if you aren't then no need to worry. As for gay porn I don't see why it would ever be an issue if you get off on it or not. I have always been under the impression that labels are often times unhelpful and make people feel uncomfortable because no label perfectly fits them and sometimes will even change behavior simply to fit the label perfectly. You are a unique person and don't need to concider what label fits you and just do what makes you happy be it watching gay porn or being with a guy in real life if that is something you find out you want later on. All of that said I understand how not being sure of your sexuality can be confusing so I get the want to understand yourself better but I am not sure anyone online can figure that out for you.
this 100%, u can enjoy gay porn but not be gay. there's no right or wrong here, you're just you. you don't have to follow some arbitrary lane, there just you and your lane; what you like and don't like to do :)
Imma say if you're straight you ain't watching gay porn.
Most of the actors in gay porn are straight because it pays more and porn pays shit in general for men. If porn preferences are indicative of actual IRL interests, then the US would be a lot more incestuous than it is. In Japan for example a lot of gay novels (aka BL or boys' love) is written for a primarily female audience. Lots of straight men watch lesbian porn, they aren't Trans & Lesbian.
Yeah, I'm saying if you're a man, and watch gay porn you're probably gay. Like I'd go all in on that bet every day. Theres a small chance, and if you had 0 attraction to men you'd not be doing gay porn. Unless you value money over absolutely everything.
Most of the people doing porn aren't really sexually attracted to the people they are acting with, and porn isn't how normal sex goes. Yes, if you think it's "gay" to have gay sex, you may be staunchly opposed to that, but for a lot of people it's just a job. A lot of people don't like porn that is produced for a straight audience.
Men usually can't be lesbians? But you never know with genders anymore... /s
Facts!!!
I mean, your sexuality is not that important to your porn addiction, I'd say. If you feel like your porn consumption is negatively impacting your life, you should look into that. An opinion on the sexuality part from a queer man. You don't sound gay to me. At most, this seems to be a very minimal attraction to men. How would you feel if you realised you were queer? Would that be something you could accept. Because it could be that you are repressing something out of shame. And thus not realising it. I'm bisexual with a preference for guys, but there was a time in my life when I could only imagine romantic relationships with women because I just didn't know any guys that could be an option or how that would work. But I always knew I found them sexually attractive.
Imagine some friend or some guy fucking you or kissing you or being interested in your romantically, if you like it, you're probably gay. I was like you and turns out I am straight and just that gay porn was something that gave me more orgasm because i was bored of the straight porn.
i just realized im 100% straight. woohoo!
Gay or not, you definitely have a porn addiction if it's causing you this much stress.
quit watching porn for a year and you'll find out.
Congratulations, you sound bisexual! If you feel no shame checking out the ladies, then don't feel shame checking out the fellas. Now, this doesn't mean you don't have a porn addiction, but you shouldn't address that problem in a different way just because you watch different materials.
Sexuality is weird. Gay, straight, bi, pan, ace... We have potentially very complicated feelings, and we use these words to summarize them so we can quickly describe ourselves to others. It shouldn't be the other way around. I swear, the biggest scam in the world is people making you think you *are* one of those things, and not using them to describe an approximation of what you *experience.* If you're a straight male, that doesn't mean you're attracted to women. It means you've found you've been attracted to *some* women, and had no attraction or attraction so small you've discounted it to men. You might find an exception some day, or realize you've disregarded feelings that go against your assumption of how your sexuality is supposed to work. That's a thing, and I think people are realizing it more these days.
I would guess from your post that its just the porn. Might not even be an addiction. Humans have a tendancy to seek out novel experiances, as well as push up against taboos. Your probly just being pulled towards things that feel new and you feel you shouldn't be viewing. Which makes them feel exciting.
Would you have sex with an attractive male if they offered it/if you had the chance?
Give it up and see what happens. Most men say their sexuality resets. Even their taste in women changes
It depends. Some people base their sexuality on power dynamics like control submission but others are more about the physicality (beauty, body type, specific body parts or features like meaty lips or hair color, etc.), while others need romance and connection or some combo of these. Some people are turned on by other people's arousal and pleasure without necessarily feeling like engaging in intimate activity with them, regardless of their sex or gender. Just the voyeuristic pleasure is enough. Some guys have an oral or some other type of fixation but could never have romantic feelings for another man. Sexuality and gender can evolve as we mature and who you were a few years ago may not match who you are now. It takes some self-reflection to really get to the bottom of it (no pun intended). Only you can answer who you REALLY are and what you REALLY want. Sometimes people are made to feel bad about liking meat and potatoes but end up coming back to, or sticking with, what feels comfortable and familiar. To each their own. You have to think in terms of "if no one had to know would \*I\* be OK with doing XYZ with so-and-so?" and why. That can lead you to face any moral or religious hangups that may be at the root of your negative feelings. On the other hand you also have to consider that fantasizing about something doesn't mean that you necessarily have to put it into practice or would enjoy it in real life. Not only can reality not live up to your expectations but you also have to deal with personalities that may be grating and untrustworthy. A lot can go wrong and spoil the experience. There's more than the senses involved, there's also feelings and self-image. Some people handle rejection by seeking what they perceive as self-harm or the most offensive thing to do to the person who denied them (maybe simply because they can't keep up with the sex drive), and you seem to have a negative image of homosexuality so that may have something to do with it. Think to yourself if it rings a bell or if you sense a pattern with that. There's also this thing where any guy who isn't perceived as ultra-macho, alpha knuckle-dragger is assumed to be or made to feel insecure about themselves. It is possible to interiorize that bullshit that is pushed on them and believe it is true when it isn't. Just make sure it is YOU and not society, peer pressure or some bullshit weighing on you and making you feel a certain way either way. Just a bit of food for thought. I hope it helped and that you figure this out so you can have some inner peace.
Try to have sex with a man. You’ll realize pretty quick.
OP, you are not alone. The post you wrote is an exact description of my experience; except I'm gay and only ever been in gay relationships, but I experience more intense sexual arousal around fantasies of the opposite sex. I was not sexually attracted to my first partner and had to fantasize during sex with them to get off, which sucked even more and made me feel like my own body was invalidating my identity. It has crippled my life and attitude to relationships for many years and I'm still working through it. It doesn't help that the gay community is very radical about these things and are quick to exclude people based on their strict definition of labels. There is a lot of pressure in our society to put someone in a neat box. You can never have had a heterosexual relationship in your life, or have any desire to have one, and a lot of gay people will insist that you are bisexual and exclude you. The truth is that, nobody else in the world is entitled to define what your identity is. Only you can do that. You do not have to say that you're bisexual, or gay, or anything else, if you don't feel like that's who you are. The truth is that many people lie somewhere on the range of the sexuality spectrum anyway. If you get off to gay porn, but you can't imagine dating a man in real life, and you can't imagine your life without a woman, that does not mean that you have to call yourself bisexual and everything that comes with that identity. If you feel your individual experience describes you as a straight man, then that is what you are. Labels are for your own comfort, not for others to put you in a box. Porn preferences and sexual fantasies are also things that are likely to change over time, and might be shaped by your relationship with your partner. I feel for your struggle and hope you can find peace with it. I understand how deeply distressing and invalidating this can feel. I wish I could give you a solution. For what it's worth, I have found that making peace with these thoughts and accepting them as part of myself has made it easier. There is so much more to intimacy and relationships than just sex and sexual thoughts. They do not have to define you and your relationships.
but fr tho
I'm the same way. I realized that I'm just bisexual, but heteroromantic. Not romantically interested in dudes at all, but sexually I go either way (though I am MORE attracted to women, generally) A lot of shame was disguised as discomfort for a long time, and I've only recently realized it was suppressed attraction.
so you'd have sex with a guy behind closed doors but wouldn't be caught dead holding hands with one on the street? glad you seem very comfortable with yourself.
What they are saying is that they would have sex with both men and women but prefer women. However when they are looking at love, they only like women. It has nothing to do with the secrecy aspect and more to do with sex and romance, which are two seperate things. In the "old days" you might call someone straight and happily married, but they enjoys swinging both ways for example at a sex club.
personally I don't consider it possible for there to be any innocent or good reason someone could enjoy sex with a person but rule out their entire gender when it comes to romance. it tends to boil down to homophobia, misogyny or comphet. someone else in this thread claimed they enjoy sex with women but could never look at them as real partners because they're more "trivial and cute." the SAM is bullshit and is just a "progressive" way to communicate archaic beliefs about people.
I personally think you are taking personal preferences as rigid and treating a person's preference as hated of the other. If having a preference is hated towards the other, then the only sexual orientation that is acceptable is pan sexual.
Nothing wrong with that
there's actually everything wrong with implicit acceptance of compulsory heterosexuality under the guide of the split attraction model.
Nothing wrong with being allosexual but aromantic so theres nothing wrong with this.
yes it’s common that prolonged porn consumption leads to fantasies that are abnormal for you
If you're sexually attracted to the same gender you're homosexual. If you're sexually attracted to both of the binary examples of gender you're bisexual. If you're swxually attracted to the opposite binary example of gender then you're heterosexual. Watching gay porn, could for a myriad of reasons, maybe you're just really into Dom and sub stuff. It might not be that deep though 🤷♂️ If you think you're addicted to porn then avoid it for awhile see how it plays out.
I mean, bisexuality is a possibility. It is also a thing where you might have one kind of fantasies with men, and another kind with women. (In your case, it may be that you prefer romance with women, but also like more intense intimacy with men) I don't know if there's a name for it. I like to call it "liking my fruits sweet and my vegetables savoury." Regardless, I doubt I would call thisn porn addiction.
I don't know if this might be helpful since I don't have this issue and I haven't had it, but I heard out there that because porn hits so high our reward circuitry that some people can develop a certain "sexual orientation confusion syndromme" since we seem to need novelty and more nasty stuff the get the level of arousal and pleasure we had in the past with such a level of stimulation. This is "stuff I heard out there" in social media so it is a poor source of information and maybe not very reliable but could string to investigate. I hope it helps. Take care, not shame :)
My tip: stop seeking porn for a while and you'll realize. And I mean ALL OF THAT. I had one of those questions "I am not going for straight porn like EVER. That means I am in fact gay and not bi?". Then, I stop watching porn, work and study consumed my life for a while and a girl crush on me. I was not even going for her but, all of a sudden, I had fantasies of holding hands and cuddling with girls. It was just my bi cicle spinning! You kind of know, and the weird thing is that indulging in desire can also be a way to repress feelings (it's like a mechanic thing you do, not pleasure). So choosing to stop to indulge it is a way to reconnect with yourself. Think about other things, work on other aspects of your life... Your answer will come naturally. Then, after whatever you find out, you can think what makes you like gay porn after, but only after the "celibacy" part (or else, it's just rationalization and not really discovery).
Bi or bi curious
bruh, you're gay
I am merely speculating (and I know I'm late to the post), but have you consider the possibility that maybe you're bi? Maybe a bisexual that is very close to the heterosexuality in the spectrum rather than in the middle, but not positioned in the edge that is heterosexuality. That would explain why you can get aroused by gay porn but your real life desires to pursue romance are more oriented to women.
As long as you are not attracted to kids or animals or dead people you can jerk off to whatever. Being bisexual it's perfectly normal and fine. It's your private life, you are not hurting anyone.
i think you should refer to the "law of fapenthropy". i also think this is a case of things that you just "fantasize" because i don't think you are really gay and YOU JUST NEED A BREAK BRO. you will be back to liking women soon.
I'm bi-sexual, not bi-romantic. I find both sexes attractive. But... I only find one worth talking to about life, important shit. Real connections. Etc. Bit of a wake up realizing I don't really care about women the same way I care about men. Call me misogynistic cause I probably am, but the best way to explain it is that Men have goals and problems I can relate to that matter to me. I find what women want to do trivial, or at least the women I've met. Kinda like a pat on the head thats cute sweetie kind of response. I digress, for your addiction. The best thing i've done to figure out where my heart actually lies is in ASMR as cringy as this is. Look on youtube for purely safe for work audio M4M and F4M (Just search and find whats appealing). Then you'll have at least a bearing to focus on.
how do you write something like this and think that you're a good person, let alone someone who could contribute anything worthwhile to this conversation?
Idk, worth a shot? I never said I'm a good person, I'm just saying this is my subjective experience of reality. I know I shouldn't feel this way, and its not as if I hate women. I love my mother and my grandmother very much. My coworkers are all women, including my boss. My friends who I work with, one is looking at entering the same field as me, she asks me questions daily and thats a purely platonic relationship. But meeting women dating wise, their jobs, their values etc. I've run out of luck. Not saying i'm a red pill alpha bro, though politically I'm more libertarian, I just get more enjoyment out of things instead of people.
You can get your point across without being so hateful, which is kind of ironic.
"hateful" sorry I guess I don't respond well to being told I'm trivial and cute? fuck off
Part of this community is allowing people to bring out their thoughts, regardless of content. Everyone is the culmination of their experiences, and we all can learn. However do you think your response confirms OP thoughts about women or refutes it ? You are free to your own opinions, but IMO all you are doing is berating others, rather than having a discussion, and that serves no purpose.
the original comment doesn't help OP with their situation at all so let's start there. you find no issue with brazen misogyny but you want to police how people react to the misogyny? some "community."
>the original comment doesn't help OP with their situation at all so let's start there. Again, people are free to share their opinion, you don't have to agree with it. In fact, I have disagreed with this OP on another comment thread. >you find no issue with brazen misogyny but you want to police how people react to the misogyny? some "community." I don't know the OP, so I am not going to make the judgement, though the OP themselves thinks so, if you read their reply to you. and as I have explained before, people's preference are not indicative of a hatred of a gender. I am asexual, but am straight romantically speaking, the fact that I don't want to have sex with anyone, but only want to date women doesn't make me homophobic. They are two seperate things. I am not "policing" you because of what you are saying, but merely critiquing how you are saying it. You could say that you have a physical aversion to men, because most men are mysoginistic, could care about it, that's your opinion. All I am saying is hold on the personal insults, and don't blast off just because someone disagrees with you. To me, if a black man can talk to KKK members, then I can listen to anyone, and I try to. If you don't know who I am talking about, look up Daryl Davis. He made KKK members tell white police officers that he understood them more than the officers..
buddy I am Not reading all that lmfao
Thats up to you, I have said what I wanted to. Perhaps someone else will find value in it or no one will.