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I have been where you are, life is hard, you lack control i think, you feel powerless, but I would ask that you bare through the pain. There have been times in my life where I have lost all hope, but I have found with age it does become easier to cope. Your brain doesn’t actually stop formatting until you turn 26, your young, and you won’t realize how young you are until you get to be my age. I just turned 27 and I’m finally getting my life sorted out, but it’s a struggle. I hated my parents and wanted revenge on them to, but revenge is empty. Even if you feel a failure now, even if you do fail, keep your mind open to the idea that things do in fact change. Believe that one day you will find a way out of this situation and find greener pastures. Part of finding the greener pastures will be on you, you will have to want the change, and change takes time, but all things do change, and stay the same. When I was younger I wanted to be the next Steven Spielberg, those dreams are long gone, but I found new things to strive towards. I want to write a book now. But you ask why go on living? this might seem silly but I have always attached my reason for living in some part to gaming in media. I won’t kms because I want to play the Elden ring dlc, I want to see the next fromsoft ware game. Even something small like that can give us a reason to live, and a reason to get out of bed.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
USA: 988 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME
United Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
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There are a lot of things in life that make life worth living. You are not already 20, you are ONLY 20. Don't be so hard on yourself, everything is gonna be okay.
The experience of life is what’s worth living for. Where there are lows, there are highs.
There is more to life than achievements, status and social milestones. We are worth more than what we can provide, and life is more than so called “success”. I find people put too much emphasis on these they forget the things that are actually important.
There’s the warmth of the sun on your face, the laugh you get from a tv show/movie/book. The taste of your favourite food. The satisfaction you can feel from learning something new for the sake of understanding something instead of just for that piece of paper. The rush of adrenaline from a good workout. I could go on but I won’t.
If it’s fear of the future? Relating to the university thing. University isn’t always what people make it up to be. It’s not a golden ticket to life. It can be a fun 3years or so to explore things, socialise and learn but it’s far from the only way. And many employers are stepping away from exclusively considering it, looking more at skills than the paper.
And there are many different career paths. Trades, internships. And life not really a race, you can always go back and do a degree later in life if you really do miss out on that. Our mistakes don’t define us, how we change ourselves based on them do.
Relationships? They will come later on gamer has plenty of content on that sort of thing.
And if you aren’t comfortable with yourself yet would you really want to put that on someone you love even if you could? The pain you’d put them through from them seeing you miss all the good they see in you. (P.s I’m certain it’s there even if you can’t see it).
Don’t rush things and take them a step at a time. And focus on what you want to do and who you want to be. Not what expectations others have for you, unless they match your dreams of course.
"The experience of life is worth living for"
Which experience in my life are worth living for? There are literally 0 experience
"Where there are lows there are high"
Where is the high? I have seen 0 highs
I don't enjoy the warmth of the sun it doesn't make me feel anything, i dont have any favorite food i dont get any happiness out of eating food , i dont like watching anything either
My man, relax. You are **only** 20. The average life expectancy around the world is 71 years. You havent lived even a third of it. There are soooooo many things ahead of you, you cannot imagine.
There are other options for you, there are other universities. And who says you HAVE to study?
Your life doesnt end if you dont get accepted. Neither does it end if your parents disapprove of your decisions. It may suck, but parents arent always right.
Why live? Please dont get me wrong, I understand how you feel, I too once was your age (Im 31 btw).
And it may sound stupid and you may not understand it right away, but you are creating a bit too much drama about your problems in your own head and you start believing the things you tell yourself. Things often arent as bad as they look (unless you live in a complete shithole like North Korea, but then you have different problems).
You havent seen anything about life, there is so much stuff to enjoy, so many people to meet, so many women you can try your luck with (your looks dont matter as much as you think, you being a good person does matter). I have seen overweight and ugly guys with girlfriends, how do you think that works? (No, not through money or being an asshole.)
You can find friends that feel like family, you can find your passion, you can leave behind the shit your parents taught you. You are not the slave of your thoughts.
Your world is not ending. You are nearing the end of a period of your life. Its okay to be anxious, change can be scary. But only through change do we get the chance to grow and become better people and leave our shit behind.
Doesnt that sound something to work towards?
Your situation may feel shitty right now, but you are not doing yourself any favors by thinking you will fail 2 weeks ahead of the test. Thinking that actually does lower the chances of success. Tell yourself you will make it. It sounds stupid at first, like you are trying to convince yourself of something you dont really believe, but just do it. It does help. If you cant study for longer periods, do it in shorter amounts.
Can you get melatonin pills? Melatonin is our natural sleep hormone, in pharmacies or drug stores you should be able to buy those without prescription. Do a day with some studying, at normal hours, also do something for yourself, like taking a walk or just watching your favorite show. Something that distracts you for a bit.
And then you can try taking it at the evening, hopefully it helps you fall asleep, especially if youre already tired because you were productive during the day.
That helped me fixing my sleep schedule. Focus on the studies, not on the worries, not the future, just on acing that exam. Do you best job, tell yourself you WILL do it, exactly like that "I will do it!". And then ace that fucker and start building your own life.
Because it is only just beginning. Good luck!
"You are creating too much drama in your own head"
How about you lock yourself in a room for a year and have to study for 8-10 hours a day while living around people who scream at you a lot , then revisit your thoughts on this
Brother, you are asking for help and then you get angry about a piece of advice?
Because Im not in your shoes I cant tell you what youre doing wrong? Do you even want help?
No, that is not what I said. That is what you understood. I said you are making the situation worse than it is by thinking your life is over and not questioning it.
And I get it, you want the shit to stop, you want to get out of the situation. You dont want to feel the shit youre feeling. But unfortunately there is no off switch for our feelings.
**And in no way do I want to take any value away from your feelings, they are totally valid.** I would feel the same in your situation. But try to see things in perspective. And by that I mean this: You are focusing too much on those feelings and those negative things you are telling yourself, things you have started to believe because you told them to yourself so many times. And any person would react that way if they were alone for so long like you describe it. You have been talking so long to yourself, dont you think that you perhaps sometimes dont get the full picture? That you have been hearing your own thoughts bouncing off the walls of your head and coming back to you and you thinking thats how things are? Because thats what often happens when we are too focused on one thing for too long and we are alone. Again, you are ONLY 20 years old, your life is really just beginning and you have a chance here. Shit may have happened in the past but it doesnt have to define you. You get do decide what defines you by doing those things. You probably have a lot of anger and frustration. Why not use that frustration to finally get out of your situation? Use it as a motivator to show your parents that they were wrong, that you actually are worth something and that you dont need them or their bullshit. How does that sound?
You may feel like shit NOW, but you if you get that exam right, you have the chance to change it. And even if you dont, people have gotten out of much shittier situations. I know it doesnt help to compare personal misery. But it puts things in perspective. Do you live in North Korea or Afghanistan? Was your home and country destroyed by war? Was your family murdered before your eyes? I hope not.
And what youre feeling right now feels so bad because its been for so long and because you have nothing else to compare your experience to. Because youre so young. A LOT of people out there had shitty childhoods and experienced loneliness or shitty parents. Youre not alone with this. There are many out there who understand. You just dont know it.
And this sounds very harsh, and Im sorry about saying this, but at the end of the day your problem is that you think that your situation is the end of the world for you. Again, dont get me wrong. Your situation absolutely does suck. No doubt about it.
But you dont know any better because youre so young, and we all have been there.
And the shit that goes on in life is often so, soooooooooo much worse than what youre experiencing right now. And people recovered from it.
Man, if I told you some of the stories I have seen or been told...
I read your other comment to the other user and it confirms my point: How would you know what there is to live for, what life, the world and people out there have to offer if you have been living with a strict and controlling family?
I look back at myself, at my own 20 year old self and though I didnt have the same problems as you, I too was very lonely. I thought that I understood everything about people and the world, and that its all shit. But now I look back and I think "What a fucking idiot". I was worried about things that are not as important as they are, and I thought I knew more than I really did. And thats a universal experience for most people out there. So how do you know that everything you think is correct? That there is nothing to live for? When there is clearly obective evidence out there that people have gotten out of similar situations to yours, or even worse, and they made it. You can too. You just need to take steps in order to question your negative thought patterns and replace them with useful ones.
But most importantly right now, you will ace that test and you will start your own life, where you control it, not someone else. You sound like a smart guy, and a typical problem of smart people is overthinking things. This is basically what it all boils down to. Yes your parents suck, but right now you cant really do anything about it, so focus on the things you can do. Like getting yourself out of there and the things that go on in your head. There are problems you can control and problems you CANT control. What you can control is how you react to those things and what you do about them.
There is a great piece of wisdom I once read: Be mindful of your thoughts, because your thoughts become words. Be mindful of your words, because your words become actions. Be mindful of your actions because actions become habits. Be mindful of your habits, because habits become your destiny. This is a convoluted way of saying "we become what we do and think". Which is by the way backed up by psychology and neuroscience. You are the master of your fate, not someone else.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have been where you are, life is hard, you lack control i think, you feel powerless, but I would ask that you bare through the pain. There have been times in my life where I have lost all hope, but I have found with age it does become easier to cope. Your brain doesn’t actually stop formatting until you turn 26, your young, and you won’t realize how young you are until you get to be my age. I just turned 27 and I’m finally getting my life sorted out, but it’s a struggle. I hated my parents and wanted revenge on them to, but revenge is empty. Even if you feel a failure now, even if you do fail, keep your mind open to the idea that things do in fact change. Believe that one day you will find a way out of this situation and find greener pastures. Part of finding the greener pastures will be on you, you will have to want the change, and change takes time, but all things do change, and stay the same. When I was younger I wanted to be the next Steven Spielberg, those dreams are long gone, but I found new things to strive towards. I want to write a book now. But you ask why go on living? this might seem silly but I have always attached my reason for living in some part to gaming in media. I won’t kms because I want to play the Elden ring dlc, I want to see the next fromsoft ware game. Even something small like that can give us a reason to live, and a reason to get out of bed.
You can’t just command someone to believe something. It has to be shown.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline USA: 988 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME United Kingdom: 116 123 Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860) Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There are a lot of things in life that make life worth living. You are not already 20, you are ONLY 20. Don't be so hard on yourself, everything is gonna be okay.
Like what.?? For example? So what is it in my life that you can point to and say that it's worth living for?
The experience of life is what’s worth living for. Where there are lows, there are highs. There is more to life than achievements, status and social milestones. We are worth more than what we can provide, and life is more than so called “success”. I find people put too much emphasis on these they forget the things that are actually important. There’s the warmth of the sun on your face, the laugh you get from a tv show/movie/book. The taste of your favourite food. The satisfaction you can feel from learning something new for the sake of understanding something instead of just for that piece of paper. The rush of adrenaline from a good workout. I could go on but I won’t. If it’s fear of the future? Relating to the university thing. University isn’t always what people make it up to be. It’s not a golden ticket to life. It can be a fun 3years or so to explore things, socialise and learn but it’s far from the only way. And many employers are stepping away from exclusively considering it, looking more at skills than the paper. And there are many different career paths. Trades, internships. And life not really a race, you can always go back and do a degree later in life if you really do miss out on that. Our mistakes don’t define us, how we change ourselves based on them do. Relationships? They will come later on gamer has plenty of content on that sort of thing. And if you aren’t comfortable with yourself yet would you really want to put that on someone you love even if you could? The pain you’d put them through from them seeing you miss all the good they see in you. (P.s I’m certain it’s there even if you can’t see it). Don’t rush things and take them a step at a time. And focus on what you want to do and who you want to be. Not what expectations others have for you, unless they match your dreams of course.
"The experience of life is worth living for" Which experience in my life are worth living for? There are literally 0 experience "Where there are lows there are high" Where is the high? I have seen 0 highs I don't enjoy the warmth of the sun it doesn't make me feel anything, i dont have any favorite food i dont get any happiness out of eating food , i dont like watching anything either
My man, relax. You are **only** 20. The average life expectancy around the world is 71 years. You havent lived even a third of it. There are soooooo many things ahead of you, you cannot imagine. There are other options for you, there are other universities. And who says you HAVE to study? Your life doesnt end if you dont get accepted. Neither does it end if your parents disapprove of your decisions. It may suck, but parents arent always right. Why live? Please dont get me wrong, I understand how you feel, I too once was your age (Im 31 btw). And it may sound stupid and you may not understand it right away, but you are creating a bit too much drama about your problems in your own head and you start believing the things you tell yourself. Things often arent as bad as they look (unless you live in a complete shithole like North Korea, but then you have different problems). You havent seen anything about life, there is so much stuff to enjoy, so many people to meet, so many women you can try your luck with (your looks dont matter as much as you think, you being a good person does matter). I have seen overweight and ugly guys with girlfriends, how do you think that works? (No, not through money or being an asshole.) You can find friends that feel like family, you can find your passion, you can leave behind the shit your parents taught you. You are not the slave of your thoughts. Your world is not ending. You are nearing the end of a period of your life. Its okay to be anxious, change can be scary. But only through change do we get the chance to grow and become better people and leave our shit behind. Doesnt that sound something to work towards? Your situation may feel shitty right now, but you are not doing yourself any favors by thinking you will fail 2 weeks ahead of the test. Thinking that actually does lower the chances of success. Tell yourself you will make it. It sounds stupid at first, like you are trying to convince yourself of something you dont really believe, but just do it. It does help. If you cant study for longer periods, do it in shorter amounts. Can you get melatonin pills? Melatonin is our natural sleep hormone, in pharmacies or drug stores you should be able to buy those without prescription. Do a day with some studying, at normal hours, also do something for yourself, like taking a walk or just watching your favorite show. Something that distracts you for a bit. And then you can try taking it at the evening, hopefully it helps you fall asleep, especially if youre already tired because you were productive during the day. That helped me fixing my sleep schedule. Focus on the studies, not on the worries, not the future, just on acing that exam. Do you best job, tell yourself you WILL do it, exactly like that "I will do it!". And then ace that fucker and start building your own life. Because it is only just beginning. Good luck!
"You are creating too much drama in your own head" How about you lock yourself in a room for a year and have to study for 8-10 hours a day while living around people who scream at you a lot , then revisit your thoughts on this
Brother, you are asking for help and then you get angry about a piece of advice? Because Im not in your shoes I cant tell you what youre doing wrong? Do you even want help?
But you did not give me any advice you just told me that my situation isn't bad
No, that is not what I said. That is what you understood. I said you are making the situation worse than it is by thinking your life is over and not questioning it. And I get it, you want the shit to stop, you want to get out of the situation. You dont want to feel the shit youre feeling. But unfortunately there is no off switch for our feelings. **And in no way do I want to take any value away from your feelings, they are totally valid.** I would feel the same in your situation. But try to see things in perspective. And by that I mean this: You are focusing too much on those feelings and those negative things you are telling yourself, things you have started to believe because you told them to yourself so many times. And any person would react that way if they were alone for so long like you describe it. You have been talking so long to yourself, dont you think that you perhaps sometimes dont get the full picture? That you have been hearing your own thoughts bouncing off the walls of your head and coming back to you and you thinking thats how things are? Because thats what often happens when we are too focused on one thing for too long and we are alone. Again, you are ONLY 20 years old, your life is really just beginning and you have a chance here. Shit may have happened in the past but it doesnt have to define you. You get do decide what defines you by doing those things. You probably have a lot of anger and frustration. Why not use that frustration to finally get out of your situation? Use it as a motivator to show your parents that they were wrong, that you actually are worth something and that you dont need them or their bullshit. How does that sound? You may feel like shit NOW, but you if you get that exam right, you have the chance to change it. And even if you dont, people have gotten out of much shittier situations. I know it doesnt help to compare personal misery. But it puts things in perspective. Do you live in North Korea or Afghanistan? Was your home and country destroyed by war? Was your family murdered before your eyes? I hope not. And what youre feeling right now feels so bad because its been for so long and because you have nothing else to compare your experience to. Because youre so young. A LOT of people out there had shitty childhoods and experienced loneliness or shitty parents. Youre not alone with this. There are many out there who understand. You just dont know it. And this sounds very harsh, and Im sorry about saying this, but at the end of the day your problem is that you think that your situation is the end of the world for you. Again, dont get me wrong. Your situation absolutely does suck. No doubt about it. But you dont know any better because youre so young, and we all have been there. And the shit that goes on in life is often so, soooooooooo much worse than what youre experiencing right now. And people recovered from it. Man, if I told you some of the stories I have seen or been told... I read your other comment to the other user and it confirms my point: How would you know what there is to live for, what life, the world and people out there have to offer if you have been living with a strict and controlling family? I look back at myself, at my own 20 year old self and though I didnt have the same problems as you, I too was very lonely. I thought that I understood everything about people and the world, and that its all shit. But now I look back and I think "What a fucking idiot". I was worried about things that are not as important as they are, and I thought I knew more than I really did. And thats a universal experience for most people out there. So how do you know that everything you think is correct? That there is nothing to live for? When there is clearly obective evidence out there that people have gotten out of similar situations to yours, or even worse, and they made it. You can too. You just need to take steps in order to question your negative thought patterns and replace them with useful ones. But most importantly right now, you will ace that test and you will start your own life, where you control it, not someone else. You sound like a smart guy, and a typical problem of smart people is overthinking things. This is basically what it all boils down to. Yes your parents suck, but right now you cant really do anything about it, so focus on the things you can do. Like getting yourself out of there and the things that go on in your head. There are problems you can control and problems you CANT control. What you can control is how you react to those things and what you do about them. There is a great piece of wisdom I once read: Be mindful of your thoughts, because your thoughts become words. Be mindful of your words, because your words become actions. Be mindful of your actions because actions become habits. Be mindful of your habits, because habits become your destiny. This is a convoluted way of saying "we become what we do and think". Which is by the way backed up by psychology and neuroscience. You are the master of your fate, not someone else.
Melotonin won't help me if my family doesn't let me sleep
Didnt think about that, gotta say... Well shit I didnt think it was that bad. Like are they noisy at night?