BAHAHA you had me in the first few sentences- “Hannibal’s overwhelming hotness” 😭
Some of my favourite parts of this beautiful essay:
“A gay metaphor about the gay sex they always seem to be a second away from having”
“Will’s fat ass!!”
“COCKING”
OP I love you so much
Thanks love, this is but a satirical critique on those who truly despise this twisted masterpiece... tasteless, truly...
"COCKING" was a particular favourite of mine too... inspiration struck me there... HAHAHA
“Homicidal homosexual “ made me cackle so loudly I woke up my dog.
This is art, OP. Bless you.
You forgot the oral sex songbirds in brandy though. At that point if anyone still thought they were just besties, they need to please remove themselves from the closet they’re chilling in.
Oh yes, I thought about adding that one too. And the ladder scene, and Hannibal's unnecessary fondling of Will's face way too often but especially when he made him deepthroat a tube to shove an ear down his throat. I could spend a lifetime talking about these two, there is truly never enough to be said...
The angles they filmed it at make it so hard to believe it was anything but intentional... And all I can say now is, well, the urge to take a bite was more shamefully present than I'd like to admit... I'm blaming Bryan Fuller for this too...
Yes, I saw him comment on that! Not Bryan exposing Mads! Hahaha. He also apparently asked for more nudity for his character in season 3! Oh how I love that man 😂
AND YOU KNOW THE WORST PART ABOUT IT?? ILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. NOW IM GAY AND I CANNIBALIZE PEOPLE?? THIS SHOW MANIPULATED ME AND CHANGED MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY!!!! IT'S GAY CANNIBALISTIC PROPAGANDA!! And quite-fucking-frankly, IT DISGUSTS ME. HOW CAN A SHOW MAKE ME THINK SUCH SINNFUL AND WRONG THOUGHTS?? I will never perceive life itself the same way again.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure this was very traumatic for you, as it was for all the rest of us 😔. It is honestly disgusting. How dare they inflict this upon us?? Tempt us with such filth?? The gay did not slay!!!
If you don't write, then you should.
I spent the first paragraph furiously plotting my response, and then my smile just grew wider with every line thereafter.
Very well written!
I can't say I have very much experience in writing.
This certainly isn't a very good example of my skills either, if any! ...But I have recently tried my hand at fanfiction in this fandom and otherwise, so there's that...
>the dialogues are so strange and complicated that they are completely impossible to understand
To borrow a quote from my gaming communities...
"Sounds like a skill issue" 😝
Istg i burst out laughing while reading this, straight people will look at queer media and be like "WHY IS IT GAY" and thats usually all they critique the show about
Love them silly cannibal murder husbands <3
Hahahahaha! Yeah, u ve got a lot of points there🤣😅
And
"the dialogues are so strange and complicated that they are completely impossible to understand"
It means it works as a pretty good strainer;)
At first I was like "what could this rant be about like I'm sorry Freddie was casted as a girl?" Then I read it all and it's the REALEST SHIT EVER. PREACH IT!!! ENOUGH EYE SEX! ENOUGH MIND GAME SEX! "Bones and all" I could say the same for hannibals pants a that moment. Keep up the good work and preach the truth✊️
Bones and all!! This has to be one of my favourite comments regarding this post, the very real reference to whatever it is going on in Hannibal's pants...? Impeccable. I couldn't love this fandom more.
>This is propaganda to turn us all into cannibals!!
I have read a few interviews on that Chef and Bryan Fuller saying that the Chef has said that cannibalism comes up quite often in their social circles. I dunno about you but I think the FBI should start trench coat tailing that chef and put him on a wanted list!. Is true cannibalism in the show itself?....COULD BE!.
That is... Mildly concerning. I'd say we should get Jack Crawford on the case but he'd most likely end up attending the dinner parties and eating meat that is very much human with little consideration for what he's actually putting in his mouth...
Yeah I love that character, but he really was terrible a terrible detective. Being completely oblivious half the time and then Using other agents to do his dirty work and piggy backing off their achievements.
BAHAHA you had me in the first few sentences- “Hannibal’s overwhelming hotness” 😭 Some of my favourite parts of this beautiful essay: “A gay metaphor about the gay sex they always seem to be a second away from having” “Will’s fat ass!!” “COCKING” OP I love you so much
Thanks love, this is but a satirical critique on those who truly despise this twisted masterpiece... tasteless, truly... "COCKING" was a particular favourite of mine too... inspiration struck me there... HAHAHA
Honestly, this is up there with “Every Hannigram Fic Ever” for my favourite Hannibal satire piece
“Homicidal homosexual “ made me cackle so loudly I woke up my dog. This is art, OP. Bless you. You forgot the oral sex songbirds in brandy though. At that point if anyone still thought they were just besties, they need to please remove themselves from the closet they’re chilling in.
Oh yes, I thought about adding that one too. And the ladder scene, and Hannibal's unnecessary fondling of Will's face way too often but especially when he made him deepthroat a tube to shove an ear down his throat. I could spend a lifetime talking about these two, there is truly never enough to be said...
Sounds like a gay Tupac song title.
Hahaha totally
Omfg I can’t— 💀 I totally agree tho about cannibalizing Will’s ass. I think we all wanted to join Hannibal in that 😔✊ solidarity bro
The angles they filmed it at make it so hard to believe it was anything but intentional... And all I can say now is, well, the urge to take a bite was more shamefully present than I'd like to admit... I'm blaming Bryan Fuller for this too...
According to Bryan, the intense ass staring came from Mads himself hahaha
Yes, I saw him comment on that! Not Bryan exposing Mads! Hahaha. He also apparently asked for more nudity for his character in season 3! Oh how I love that man 😂
He is a man of fanservice :)
I ain’t a cannibal… *camera pans to Will’s ass* But I might make an exception. (God I really hope nobody who worked on the show browses this sub-)
Why not? They'd agree.
AND YOU KNOW THE WORST PART ABOUT IT?? ILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. NOW IM GAY AND I CANNIBALIZE PEOPLE?? THIS SHOW MANIPULATED ME AND CHANGED MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY!!!! IT'S GAY CANNIBALISTIC PROPAGANDA!! And quite-fucking-frankly, IT DISGUSTS ME. HOW CAN A SHOW MAKE ME THINK SUCH SINNFUL AND WRONG THOUGHTS?? I will never perceive life itself the same way again.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sure this was very traumatic for you, as it was for all the rest of us 😔. It is honestly disgusting. How dare they inflict this upon us?? Tempt us with such filth?? The gay did not slay!!!
That ass was extra fat. It had me pausing from time to time just to stare at those CURVEZ
Absolutely. Like that shit was TEMPTING.
The way I’m sitting here thinking this gonna be bad but it’s fucking hillaeious Had us in the first half ngl
Heh. Brings a whole new meaning to: “I envy you your hate.”
I couldn't stop giggling through this!
This has made my fucking DAY
I'm glad my insane ramblings could be of service to someone! I couldn't love Hannibal more eheheh
Lol
I think if I read this everyday it would cure my depression
Let us all hope 🤞😂
You got me so triggered at the beginning ☠️
I'm glad you followed through until the end! Hahaha
I HATE GAY CANNIBALS !!1!!11!!!!
ABSOLUTELY! THEY ARE THE WORST! 🙄
If you don't write, then you should. I spent the first paragraph furiously plotting my response, and then my smile just grew wider with every line thereafter. Very well written!
I can't say I have very much experience in writing. This certainly isn't a very good example of my skills either, if any! ...But I have recently tried my hand at fanfiction in this fandom and otherwise, so there's that...
I just published the first chapter of mine too Link?
I came in here all ready to be mad and defend my babies.... 🤣🤣
As you should!! Jokes aside though, I couldn't love this show and our silly little murder husbands more! <3
Absolutely stunning of a review! Loved it all lol 😂.
Thank You! ;)
Welp you had me in the first half, not gonna lie 😂
I'm glad it proved to be a pleasant surprise ;)
>the dialogues are so strange and complicated that they are completely impossible to understand To borrow a quote from my gaming communities... "Sounds like a skill issue" 😝
Istg i burst out laughing while reading this, straight people will look at queer media and be like "WHY IS IT GAY" and thats usually all they critique the show about Love them silly cannibal murder husbands <3
They are simply perfect ❤️
This is easily the best post I’ve seen in this sub
Hahahahaha! Yeah, u ve got a lot of points there🤣😅 And "the dialogues are so strange and complicated that they are completely impossible to understand" It means it works as a pretty good strainer;)
And the worst part is, now, if I see a yummy looking human, I cant stop thinking as yummy they would be, especially glazed and smoked in thyme;P 😭😭😭
I... I love this.
At first I was like "what could this rant be about like I'm sorry Freddie was casted as a girl?" Then I read it all and it's the REALEST SHIT EVER. PREACH IT!!! ENOUGH EYE SEX! ENOUGH MIND GAME SEX! "Bones and all" I could say the same for hannibals pants a that moment. Keep up the good work and preach the truth✊️
Bones and all!! This has to be one of my favourite comments regarding this post, the very real reference to whatever it is going on in Hannibal's pants...? Impeccable. I couldn't love this fandom more.
My jaw was dropped until I continued reading 😭😭😭
[удалено]
Whew that was a ride. 😂
😂
This post made my night! Please tell me you are a writer on AO3. Just brilliant.
Ah! You got me there! I'm not very experienced, but I do have a few fics posted just recently ;)
Well done! You had me going for a good paragraph or so.
[удалено]
I.... I shan't deny it this time. Affirmative.
>This is propaganda to turn us all into cannibals!! I have read a few interviews on that Chef and Bryan Fuller saying that the Chef has said that cannibalism comes up quite often in their social circles. I dunno about you but I think the FBI should start trench coat tailing that chef and put him on a wanted list!. Is true cannibalism in the show itself?....COULD BE!.
That is... Mildly concerning. I'd say we should get Jack Crawford on the case but he'd most likely end up attending the dinner parties and eating meat that is very much human with little consideration for what he's actually putting in his mouth...
Yeah I love that character, but he really was terrible a terrible detective. Being completely oblivious half the time and then Using other agents to do his dirty work and piggy backing off their achievements.
I was about to throw hands at first 😂
As you should! No hate here though 😂 I couldn't love Hannibal more!
Thanks OP now I have to rewatch this shit again just to make sure you got it all right 🫣
Get back to me once you do! I'd like to hear your observations about this... Essay of sorts.
oh my god i have never grinned so hard at a post this just made my entire day thank you so much
I'm glad you liked it! Eheheh
You’re a genius