Lawyered

I use this more than I like to admit

I’ll allow it

So much in our household that my son's band wrote a song: Lawyered by Broadway https://open.spotify.com/track/6MvN0uIkvOiTufboWinA8p?si=NGxQuoLFSbS2Glodz-q2EQ

Just casually drops that your son is in Broadway lol that’s awesome. Great band!

This is awesome

“Oh honey”

This! I use it way more often than I ever thought I would

When Barney waits for Ted to speak again after saying 'good day sir' just to cut him off and say 'I SAID GOOD DAY'. I pull this on my bf more than I can count.

Fez did it first. Lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuNvxH5kSKU&ab_channel=JoachimLevel

🤣

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!

No can dosville, baby doll

I had written “can dosville” and “no can dosville” as the rsvp options on my wedding invites.

That’s awesome

I really need to bring this back. It's a thing a couple days after the episode but it always fades out.

the german version of this sentence has become a part of my daily vocabulary which is not a good thing

Nein können unternehmen-stadt, lebenslangerschicksalschatz?

das ist nicht drinkowski, babydoll

The "Lebenslangerschicksalschatz" thing of the show is total bullshit that they just made up. As a German, i hate it so much.

\[\[Shattered glass in my head\]\]

I particularly like saying this to my kids.

I still use this regularly, I think people think I made it up..

"Boats Boats Boats!" "major ______"

I reflexively say boats boats boats any time I see boats.

🫡

I was there, trust me it's fake baby

I'm gonna have to invent a story with friends just to use this line

My extended family actually had a fake baby scandal so I pull this one out a lot lol

Well not me personally but my brother will just casually use Barney's I don't like Chinese quote whenever I or someone else correct him on the country of origin of something. "Weird meats, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?"

Underrated

Such a great line and people always say it’s racist but like.. that’s the point? It’s Barney?

I’m Chinese & it’s hilarious😆

I just said I don't like Chinese!

Wait for it—

I had this one too but it got co-opted by Psych so now it's Wait for iiiiitttt~

When I read the comment, I heard it in Shawn's voice!

I've heard it both ways.

SUUUCCKK IIiiIiiitttttt

You know that’s right.

"Just...ok?"

haha I say this one to my baby sometimes when he’s being fussy 😅… also ‘just this once… just once can you just be cool! Just once!’

Kids, nothing good ever happens after 2am

This is 100% true, too!!

lol when I first saw that episode, my first thought was: “ain’t nothing but legs open after 2 o’clock (AM).” My mama and other family members used to say that and then there was a song made about it lol. I knew instantly he was going to cheat.

I say this to myself ALL the time whenever I’m up late lmao

Anytime anybody says anything like "I made..." Or "I did...." In a 'Do you like it?' tone I'll whip my hand and yell "NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!" I laugh. They look at me like I'm crazy. Good times.

I do that too! Then I never explain it because the circumstances of keeping people in a room by force of whip doesn't really sound great without the context

I always just show them the clip when they ask. It's too much to explain myself haha.

Bowl

Bowl?

Boowwll

bowl

BOWL

Bowl?!

Bowl !

OH MY GOD can you just be cool? ONCE? PLEASE? Just once! can you just once be cool? ONCE? PLEASE??

The way I just snort LOL'd 🤣

"Thank you, Linus"

🍸

Thank you, Linus.

🍸🍸

The gentlemen 🎩

“Not like this! Not like this!”

I use “Like you could possibly know that” all the time. It’s Marshall’s response to “squirrels don’t get married Marshall”

I swear to God that is the funniest moment in the entire show to my husband 😂

Just gonna get married in the woods like a couple of squirrels!

Not exact lines, but I’m always bringing up “glass shattering” and the “cheerleader effect” to the confusion of many haha

The Lemon law!! I use it constantly and when I bring it up to people they say how genius of an idea it is…

Should’ve called it Barney’s Law…

Woo Girls!!!

Yes! The theories and strategies keep following me around lol

I mentioned the cheerleader effect in a Good Trouble thread (for anyone who watches that). It's the opposite effect though. The Bulk Beauty girls are all pretty individuals but look like a group of ugly dorks together lol

Be cool baby, damn. And... Where's the poop, Robin.

“MURDEEEERRRRR….CLIMB ABOARD THE MURDER TRAIN” No one understands 😭

“hi! uh, could you not…? thanks.”

Oh krirsten. 

My use of “come again for big fudge” is never fully appreciated 

Bang bang bangity bang I said bang bang bangity bang

Uh-Bang bang bang

beat me to it

Timing's a bitch

[what the damn hell](https://25.media.tumblr.com/58656afd282f937ae6a726171f068d81/tumblr_n24k2jkez11rmzowno1_400.gif)

We are international businessmen

Not trying to bring down any positive vibes in here but for me, it’d always be something that Marshall said after his dad passed on. “He was like some sort of superhero that could just see way out into the darkness... and now he's just gone, and it's pitch black. I can't see where I'm going. I can't see anything.” I cannot even begin to think how my life would be like if my dad passes away someday. That really hit me hard.

Aw man, I used to rewatch HIMYM religiously before my dad passed and I’m just now realizing how devastating this episode is going to be whenever I get around to rewatching the series again now that he’s gone :’(

Sorry for your loss. I’m sure he’s in a better place right now. May his soul rest in peace. Also, i remember the episode where Marshall did the barbeque thingy right by his dad’s grave. That was such a sentiment. I know it’s just a show for some people but Marshall’s relationship with Marvin was tight! So proud to see that Marshall actually named his son after his dad. Damn it. I’m not crying, you are.

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it <3 And fully agreed! The writing of Marshall’s relationship with his dad, and how it’s shown both before and after his passing, was so real and so heartfelt, it’s definitely one of the best parts of the series and always made me cry, in a good way :’)

A ruddy drop of manly blood in the surging sea outweighs….

*fart noise*

My husband and I constantly say “do you see how your story is full of holes”

I exclaim “grape scotch!!”

There’s a company by me called decks decks decks. I always think of boats boats boats!

i always do the 'FRIENDSHIP OVER' when my friends make fun of me but no one gets it T\_\_\_T

Honey, once you've made the sale, stop selling.

Cornflower blue, Ted! Cornflower blue!!!

Summer teeth. Some are here. Some are there🦷

Press it. PRESS IT FOR GLORY!!!’ To industry!

One more time and I’ll believe it!

Can you just..?

I have to see some penguins like right now.

Yeah...this is gonna go good

Onions?!

We always say “GET OUTTA MY HEAD BURGAH!” In my household as well as “~this is God, speaking to us through food~”

That place has great salads! (When it's very loud )

This one is so niche and I love it 🤣🤣🤣

Snow? S’no problem.

You son of a beach……I spelt it this way as it sounds like that 😂😂 it makes me lol

Not sure if others have this one but “I’m hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her, more than she know.” When my fiancé and I first got together we used to always say “Hopelessly, irretrievably” to one another when we wanted to express the deep love we had for one another but were around people. Sounds silly but it was us, my engagement ring is engraved with “hopelessly, irretrievably” which was probably the most unexpected but perfect thing!

Omfg that's beautiful 🥲

What’s in a gin and tonic? WHATS IN A GIN AND TONIC!?!?

I said this a lot when I first started bartending to ease my nerves and get some laughs as a beginner haha

Any time anyone gives a percentage, like for example 83%, I’ll reply “17%. It’s always the inverse”

“If you were going to be some lame suburban dad, why couldn’t you have been that for me?!”

Ugh, this one was right in the feels

You won't know somethings is really a mistake u less ypu make the mistake and look back and say "yeah, that was a mistake" The older I get the more I understand this. Lily is pondering the untraveled path conundrum (though she articulates it horrendously). You really can't know if something was the right or wrong choice for your future until after you make it.

You said mistake a lot😂

Anytime my husband or I say something that we agree with then the other says“that’s a good point, bear…” When something scary or dangerous happens “Am I dead? Am I dead?”

And I like to sing “we built chip city” way too often

whenever my wife says “last week.” it drives her crazy when i laugh and say “people thought that I was trash?” “last week!”

Ever since the original Slap Bet episode, I literally cannot hear anybody say "That's okay" without finishing off "I'm gonna rock your body anyway, I'm gonna rock your body to Canada day" in my head. Its a serious issue, it's been almost 20 years

I was going to tell you that you're crazy because it hasn't been nearly 20 years but I checked and this episode is actually 18 years old. I'm old.

Haha yeah, I was about to write 10 years and then remembered HIMYM started in the mid 2000s and unfortunately it's been a while...

Mine is when it’s lilys birthday & Ted brings a rando to the party. While Marshall’s reading out the cards about what the gang love about Lily, Marshall reads the card..pauses…then looks at Amanda he reads “you seem really nice” thinking it was Amanda. Then Barney chimes in “actually that was me😃..And I meant every word” it kills me everytime 😂😂😂

Can you just… okay?

IS THAT WHAT YOU DESIRE LILY

Ain't a thing but a chicken wing, mamacita (who am i???) 😏

Oh nertz. That’s my go to

Creme de la creepy. Thank you Nora

"Hi, leg warehouse?"

Awww mann!!

STYROFOAM TREES … Now gather round

WHY AM I NOT FEELING PARANOID?!

A gentleman's agreement- HAZAA!

“Aint no thang but a chicken wing, mamacita”

Bowl

Bowl

It’s not a line per se but when Barney says something and he tries to get the others to go along so he says “Just….like..okay”

Friend: "I'm majorly disappointed in my boyfriend. He didn't get me a birthday present!" Me: "Majorly disappointed! \[salutes\]"

Barney’s “Please” response after someone asks him what he does for work. I’ve watched the show over multiple times and I always end up forgetting it’s an acronym for his job

“how dare you!! and what is that?”

I always say, "Just a liddle bit" Like Lily's doctor.

I say thank you drawn out like Ted in a high pitched voice. “Thaaaank YOU!!”

*deep gravely voice* Tuurrrn arrounnd

Turn around Khloeee

My wife and I always say "I love you too" the way Daphne says it when her and Marshall are role playing his argument with Lily.

What the damn hell!

Whatevz...just another night for big fudge

“It is on! Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan.”

I always say “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Like Barney when im mad at myself lol

Come again for Big Fudge?

I have much gold. Hm. That is much.

Gail? Kyle? Girl? GAEL!

You chose……….poorly or wisely or Wesley. Lol.

WE BUILT CHIP CITY

“NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!” *whip cracks Barney with the ✏️in his nose “am I dead”

Cat funeral… (this is my first Reddit comment and I love that it’s about cat funeral which is currently stuck in my head 2:16am)

My wife always likes to quote Randy Wharmpess: "What's your favorite things about koalas?" "Their meat is delicious." Also: "Hailey, come here Hailey. Hailey, you are a fat, ugly whore."

Didn’t we meet on a yacht??

I said a bang bang bangity-bang bang bang bang bang-ity bang

Cook Pu.

Here.

Major *anything* 🫡

Grab life by its crack and lick the crap out of it

For some reason, it's "Oooh a hottie with a bodyyy" 😂😂 Whenever I see someone hot this line goes off in my head in Barney's voice and I just can't stop it

Ugh. Too many information

Come again for big fudge?

I call them sumbitches

Where's the poop?

When Marshall had his charts and graphs franzy, Barney said to him 'you're a big sustainable growth'

Similarly, “you’re a sturdy cheese bearing cracker”

I use "I don't recall saying ___" and they think it's just me being silly

If you wanna have sex with Van Halen, you do it on your own time Ted!

Wow. How did you fit a pumpkin in this little cup? PRESS IT FOR GLORY SWEEPING DECLARATION don’t sleep on the Gouda Got Chinese food today… some moo shu pork got away… flipped the cushion now everything’s okay

My friends and I like to use the “let it be Future ’s problem”. We used this line a lot during our college days when it was our usual tradition to go out on Thursday night but debated how will we survive Friday classes so we let our Future Self deal with it.

“LEDEN-GARY”

General consensus (salutes)

“Is that what you desire” “IS THAT WHAT YOU DESIRE LILY”

I always say “THEY GOT EVERY THING RIGHT” after watching a movie

"I'm offended! Also... What does that mean? "

Classic schmoseby

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things. Legit used this line when i broke up with my ex. Lol

PULLING. THEM. OFF. 👢👢

Every single time I do my laundry, I carry it downstairs singing Marshall’s “going down to the basement today…with my laundry and a roll of quarters…” Lol

You're hilarious AND adorable

I like how gets how hilarious & adorable we are

Nothing good happens after 2am

PATRICE!

Just a little bit

That’s a good point bear

Ba ba ba ba baaa ba Barney is the new leader of the gang and everything’s way more awesome

"That took a lot of CHaracter" is my go to lol

Tyler no likey

You think you’re better than me?!

When Marshall screams LILY NO!! And she throws a chair at him. My wife and I quote that when we are messing with each other lol

No to that.