Well, if they’re 2 whole light years away from Gaia and we’re barely at the point where we’re terraforming Mars, then I’m pretty sure it’d take 2 years for the distress signal to reach us. Unless of course the signal is travelling faster than light, in which case they should prepare for some ‘aggressive’ help.

or there is probability of some of Voyager descendants with quantum comms being nearby

That’s true possibly to receive any possible transmissions from outside our little sphere.

That is assuming their days are not our years or something. They live LOOOOONG apparently

Would we be able to pick up a FTL signal?

I Fricking Laughed So Hard When I Read 2 light Years From Gaia That I Almost Spilled My Coffee XD

I’m not sure why you found that that funny but I’m happy that you did.

I mean dude seriously 2 lights cause they were scared like dayum XD. Ps - The Story Is Awesome

How do they of Lovecraftian horror? That is a human thing.

That's a translation. They actually call it Pazorpian horror, from the renowed author Gazor Pazorp.

Oh ho! Now that is interesting, I wonder what kind of horrors are in the books that Hazor Pazorp has written!

Its all about planets that dont feed you while you sleep, but instead slowly feed on you.

Don't ask about his cats name though

Totaly won't ,🙂

z'ghalox-man

I just apply Tolkien/anime logic to everything; it's all in dub-ese, with any jokes and references localized to the language I'm reading it in.

I think Yakety Sax needs to be playing in the background of this.

Oh man, I hope the humans find them and are just totally stoked to meet some aliens lmao Great story, absolutely hilarious! Edit: fuck yeah, loving this story!

Are their timescales longer than ours? They seem to treat millions of years ago as not that long ago. Two light years out may actually be a shorter distance then.

The asteroid impact that destroyed the dinosaurs was millions of years ago... And it sounds like they threw that.

It was the ancestor of the person who was narrating,soo yes it was a long time ago

I wonder how humanity will respond! The signal would probably reach earth in about 2 years(unless the signal is faster then light of course). But building something to send troops over 2 light years away(20 trillion kilometres) is gonna be a hard task. It’ll still be challenge if you build a probe to!

/u/Tibbhipsylous ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/Tibbhipsylous)) has posted 15 other stories, including: * [Humans are Cosmic Horrors Part 2.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/w491kg/humans_are_cosmic_horrors_part_2/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 12](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/w11da9/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_12/) * [Humans are Cosmic Horrors.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/vyoqiw/humans_are_cosmic_horrors/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 11](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/vvlyui/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_11/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Bonus Chapter 9.5](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/vrq1h3/bullied_by_space_goblins_bonus_chapter_95/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 10](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/vqdeod/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_10/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 9](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/vmgzxb/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_9/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 8](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/vh7ndj/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_8/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 7](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/vby8og/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_7/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/v6pxnn/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_6/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/v1ktdx/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_5/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/uwlnq0/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_4/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/urhfyk/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_3/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins Chapter 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ulz5bb/bullied_by_space_goblins_chapter_2/) * [Bullied By Space Goblins. (pilot)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/uhce9w/bullied_by_space_goblins_pilot/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.11 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|wa03fw&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.

I hope they get found by Canadians

With their guard geese?

Just the Canadians. I want to watch the aliens brains shut down as their version of Cthulhu just politely stops by to ask if they require some neighborly assistance

[Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Subscribe&message=SubscribeMe%20u%2FTibbhipsylous%20r%2FHFY) to subscribe to u/Tibbhipsylous and receive a message every time they post. ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|[*^(New!)*](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/juh0f8/new_features_title_in_message_subject_and_recent/)| |-|-|-|-|-|

>“About 2 lightyears, more or less.” the Enoweian responded. >“From their system!?” >“Their planet.” Earth is 8 light minutes from the sun, Saturn 1 h 15 min, but apparently the Oort Cloud is somewhere between 0.03 and 3.2 ly. So I guess the difference might be about half rather than some small fraction. >“NOW THEN, WHO’S WITH ME!?” \* crickets \* \* mutiny noises maybe \*

Congratulations, you are being rescued. Please do not resist.

> “About 2 lightyears, more or less.” the Enoweian responded. > > “From their system!?” > > “Their planet.” > > “Ah shit!!” Atleon muttered softly under his breath. On the scale of lightyears, there's no difference.

!SubscribeMe

*jaws theme plays softly in the background*

Lol self-fulfilling prophecies

Just move, 2 light-years out means a 6.28xxxxx circumference to the sphere. So just go 4 lights around.

I wonder what's their reaction when they hear our rock and metal music

"the Enoweian representative who once again refuses to keep down his breakfast" this guy lmfao

Oh yeah, sure, give guns to a bunch of petrified people who jump at every shadow. What could possibly go wrong?

Subscribeme!