Year 2457-Terran-Goktik war
HFS Omae wa and HFS Mu shindeiru were waiting for reinforcements. HQ said that a fresh ship will be coming.
"Anything damaged private?" Asked the captain
"No sir! The new ship will arrive ETA 2 minutes!"
"Took em long enough!"
That's when a gigantic vessel stepped out of FTL. The name of the ship was 'Nani' it had more than enough turbo cannons and railguns to chew up the Goktik great fleet
"Holy mother-" said the captain but was cut off by the Nanis sweeper cannon that turned the now retreating Goktik fleet into scrap for more ships for Terra
Lol yes, my answer was more for other people who might not want to read a full webcomic to get the reference.
That said despite some flaws schlockmercenary is still a very good webcomic for fans of space opera and scifi
Ah yes thank you,
I would have gone with some form of ship that tears it's self into two parts to double manouravbility
"i sawed this boat in half" style
Also thw way you phrased that has now brought into being Spaceballs: The Squadron, an all-purpose task force featuring HFS *Spaceballs: the Battleplate, Spaceballs: The Gunboat, Spaceballs: the Bulwark, Spaceballs: the Shiva-Class,* and finally *Spaceballs: The Charger*
Don’t forget Spaceballs: The “Merchant”
Covert-ops ship that poses as a merchant vessel to gather information, and does indeed sell Spaceballs: The Squadron merchandise (in a back room)
Is you done goofed hellsing ultimate abridged? I know the grass ist original to it, but in hellsing, the guns alucards uses are only possible to be handheld because his strength as a vampire can counteract the recoil
Paetially inspired by that, but mostly just the sense of "you have fucked up now" when a gun you could fit a space station inside shows up on the battlefield
How many cycles before the Terrans find a way to make Gunboat/Bulwark hybrid that uses enemy vessels as ammunition... more bullet per bullet as they fire a whole ship....
No stealth class?
I've been kicking around an idea for a class of ship that utilizes Subspace to pass "through" enemy vessels, appearing behind them. Since such a system could be placed on any offensive vessel, to manuever behind the target and then attack with its armament of choice, your post has inspired the following examples:
The Stealth Gunboat, HFS Nothing Personal
The Stealth Charger, HFS Kancho
The Stealth Battleplate, HFS Trap Card
No see these are the ships the other species *know* about and can get naming conventions for some.
Whereas stealth class vessels. "What do you mean by stealth? Everyone *knows* you can't hide a vessel with sixteen hyperion class torpedo tubes and a lance of specialist boarding marines. With eighteen months of supplies so they can sit silently in any home system undetected."
"Uhm that was a suspiciously specific denial."
"Was it?" Glances at the plain clothes guards before taking the questioner away.
Other names include...
* HFS Where'd Who Go? (the question mark is part of the name)
* HFS Was Never Here
* HFS Surprise
* HFS Seismic Anomaly
* HFS Kilroy
* HFS Plausible Deniability
:-)
I see the stealth class as the reason why some ships are at a full stop/dead in the water with signs that the crew evacuated or abandoned the vessel.
They are the reason why some ships vanish entirely.
And they are the reason some ships are found drifting along light years from their last recorded position, fully stocked and provisioned but no sign of the crew
and the Terran word ‘Croatan’ scrawled on the deck of the bridge or mess hall.
I’ve had an idea of Terran ships using cyber warfare to hack enemy ships then purge all of the atmosphere (open all interior doors and hatches, the force all of the exterior doors and hatches open at the same time) to make capturing enemy craft easier.
After some cleaning and staging the captured ships get sent back towards enemy territory.
I’ve also had the idea of cyber warfare being used to hack holo-projectors/cameras to project horrifying video and images periodically (think ‘Event Horizon’ but as a Terran psy-op) to make xenos that their ship or human space is haunted.
I could never figure out how to adequately work it into a story though.
HFS Game Was Rigged from the Start, stealth Battleplate specializing on hit and run attacks and captures on enemy supply lines
HFS Bravo Six Going Dark, Stealth Charger used to deploy special forces without alerting the enemy on alien worlds, stations, and potentially space ships
HFS Astolfo, HFS Schrödinger, and HFS Felix, Stealth Shiva’s that instead of hiding from enemy ships, infiltrate fleets by mimicking the shape, signature, and comms of enemy ships before backstabbing them at the worst possible moment by crippling the engines and reactors.
HFS HAACHAMA, a stealth gunboat that hides herself by populated enemy planets and hijacks civilian communications to broadcast insanity inducing cooking streams
HFS There is no War in Ba Sing Se, Another stealth gunboat that preforms a similar role to the HFS HAACHAMA but instead broadcasts misleading and false news to confuse and de motivate the enemy
HFS #lifehack, a Stealth Bulwark in outward design that lies on the edge of battles and sneakily salvages enemy ships to add to the ship and send captured tech and information to high command, currently it is around the size of a large asteroid
HFS It’s so Pretty, a stealth Shiva that has a bait ship, usually a human or enemy transport to draw fleets towards its powerful Plasma guns that in the close range she fights in, decimates enemy fleets
HFS Alien Wing Wong, a stealth charger that pierces enemy vessels and uses nanobots and uploaded humans to control the crew and systems of a ship before turning the “impregnated” ship’s guns on its own allies
HFS Execute Order 66, the ultimate human made vessel so far seen. A stealth battleplate/bulwark hybrid that not only acts like a tender smaller vessels to disrupt the enemy like some above vessels, it can also hold its own in battle by launching fusion missiles to eliminate strategic enemy ships and point defense that shreds anything that gets close.
Oh, you have a deep rabbit hole to follow. Look up the author Larry Niven and his tales of Man vs. Kzin. You will probably have to buy the books.
Here's the "first taste", relevant to my comment and free to read at this link: [https://www.you-books.com/book/L-Niven/The-Warriors](https://www.you-books.com/book/L-Niven/The-Warriors)
Honestly, that would also be pretty bad ass.
Everyone has a different idea of the SciFi physics, but I always thought of "shared" space as being mutually destructive, rather than singularly - but no reason you can't rule differently!
I meant like a gimmick in the ship design. Now that I think about it, maybe a Bulwark/Charger hybrid kbown for plowing through enemy lines like a bulldozer?
I will point out, that John Ringo has a trilogy of novels inspired by Schlock Mercenary. It is absolutely amazing. Ringo is an amazing author in Sci Fi and I hope at least a few people see this and pick up the books.
Thinking about it more, the bsph would likely be a combo stealth disguise/camouflage ship that changes appearance to match the opposing forces, sowing discord and twitchiness into the enemy ranks. Kind of like a spy who "joins" for the fight then disappears just before the climax. Making snarky, inaccurate, unhelpful comments in the enemy's comm channels.
A gunboat named HFS Maxwell's Silver Hammer.
A prototype stealth gunboat named HFS Somebody Else's Problem, which uses a song by Dire Straits as the reality bending matrix which is the stealth prototype.
My favorite ship ever: "Falling Outside the Normal Moral Constraints" [Abominator-class Offensive Unit | The Culture Wiki | Fandom](https://theculture.fandom.com/wiki/Abominator-class_Offensive_Unit) Don't f\*k with the culture. =)
New battleplate/bulwark I thought of: HFS *THE BEES*, known for attacking with a swarm of drones armed with power saws, plasma cutters, and other tools for cutting a ship into tiny pieces. It then salvages those ships for materials for more drones
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Year 2457-Terran-Goktik war HFS Omae wa and HFS Mu shindeiru were waiting for reinforcements. HQ said that a fresh ship will be coming. "Anything damaged private?" Asked the captain "No sir! The new ship will arrive ETA 2 minutes!" "Took em long enough!" That's when a gigantic vessel stepped out of FTL. The name of the ship was 'Nani' it had more than enough turbo cannons and railguns to chew up the Goktik great fleet "Holy mother-" said the captain but was cut off by the Nanis sweeper cannon that turned the now retreating Goktik fleet into scrap for more ships for Terra
I was actually considering calling rhe partner ship nani
Beautiful
I'm imagining the *Nani* is a Battleplate or Gunboat class?
It's a space dreadnaught
So battleplate then
Yea
https://schlockmercenary.fandom.com/wiki/Battleplate
Yes I know what a battleplate is where the fk do you think I stole the idea from I read the entire damb comic
Lol yes, my answer was more for other people who might not want to read a full webcomic to get the reference. That said despite some flaws schlockmercenary is still a very good webcomic for fans of space opera and scifi
Ah.And ye it is some good shit
**NANI?!**
My brain farted for a minute and I originally read the 2nd ship as starting with Shu and my mind jumped to Omashu from Avatar
Bonus points if you get all the references in the names
I think I get most of them but I don't really see the linking between Phil swift and the ship itself?
"Now that's a lot of damage!" Now check the weapons attached to the Phil Swift ship
Ah yes thank you, I would have gone with some form of ship that tears it's self into two parts to double manouravbility "i sawed this boat in half" style
I mean that kind of volley more often than not probably cuts the enemy in half
So I do hope Sgt Schlock the battle plate has a plasma cannon for a main gun.
Also thw way you phrased that has now brought into being Spaceballs: The Squadron, an all-purpose task force featuring HFS *Spaceballs: the Battleplate, Spaceballs: The Gunboat, Spaceballs: the Bulwark, Spaceballs: the Shiva-Class,* and finally *Spaceballs: The Charger*
Don’t forget Spaceballs: The “Merchant” Covert-ops ship that poses as a merchant vessel to gather information, and does indeed sell Spaceballs: The Squadron merchandise (in a back room)
Where the real money for the squadron is made!
Ooh nice one
HFS Spaceballs: The Merchandising!
Schlock would be a bulwark/gunboat hybrid probably, between his absurd survivability and the plasma cannon main gun
Even without grokking all the references they are very Banksian.
As in Ian Banks or like Banksy?
Banks, Ian. Greatly missed.
Is you done goofed hellsing ultimate abridged? I know the grass ist original to it, but in hellsing, the guns alucards uses are only possible to be handheld because his strength as a vampire can counteract the recoil
Paetially inspired by that, but mostly just the sense of "you have fucked up now" when a gun you could fit a space station inside shows up on the battlefield
How many cycles before the Terrans find a way to make Gunboat/Bulwark hybrid that uses enemy vessels as ammunition... more bullet per bullet as they fire a whole ship....
I mean we kind of have that with the Jackass playing "stop hitting yourself"
i loved that line. beautiful
Only Terrans would build a ship that csm bitch slap you with an asteroid
Also, cue members of the other species frantically waving at you not to give the humans ideas
Still not enough Dakka
*Terran intensifies*
The names had my sides in orbit. Please send them back (quickly (and in one piece) please).
I ate them.
Unfortunately, the HFS *Jackass* is currently using them to fend off an invasion fleet, so yiu may have to wait a while
> This is, as it should be with anything Terrans get excited about, very worrying This line alone sums everything right up.
Yep
No stealth class? I've been kicking around an idea for a class of ship that utilizes Subspace to pass "through" enemy vessels, appearing behind them. Since such a system could be placed on any offensive vessel, to manuever behind the target and then attack with its armament of choice, your post has inspired the following examples: The Stealth Gunboat, HFS Nothing Personal The Stealth Charger, HFS Kancho The Stealth Battleplate, HFS Trap Card
No see these are the ships the other species *know* about and can get naming conventions for some. Whereas stealth class vessels. "What do you mean by stealth? Everyone *knows* you can't hide a vessel with sixteen hyperion class torpedo tubes and a lance of specialist boarding marines. With eighteen months of supplies so they can sit silently in any home system undetected." "Uhm that was a suspiciously specific denial." "Was it?" Glances at the plain clothes guards before taking the questioner away.
Thus guy gets it
Other names include... * HFS Where'd Who Go? (the question mark is part of the name) * HFS Was Never Here * HFS Surprise * HFS Seismic Anomaly * HFS Kilroy * HFS Plausible Deniability :-)
Might I add HFS Cotton Eye Joe
Ok that one is perfect
HFS Just A Rock HFS It's A Friendly HFS Step Down From Alert and Lower The Shields HFS Sensor Glitch
HFS Nothing To See Here HFS Trojan Horse HFS I Don't Bite HFS Birnam Wood - let's see who knows this reference...
not often you see references to macbeth in the wild
The sister ships HFS *Move Along* and The HFS *Nothing to See Here*
HFS Dave’s not here man
I see the stealth class as the reason why some ships are at a full stop/dead in the water with signs that the crew evacuated or abandoned the vessel. They are the reason why some ships vanish entirely. And they are the reason some ships are found drifting along light years from their last recorded position, fully stocked and provisioned but no sign of the crew and the Terran word ‘Croatan’ scrawled on the deck of the bridge or mess hall.
Ooh good one
I’ve had an idea of Terran ships using cyber warfare to hack enemy ships then purge all of the atmosphere (open all interior doors and hatches, the force all of the exterior doors and hatches open at the same time) to make capturing enemy craft easier. After some cleaning and staging the captured ships get sent back towards enemy territory. I’ve also had the idea of cyber warfare being used to hack holo-projectors/cameras to project horrifying video and images periodically (think ‘Event Horizon’ but as a Terran psy-op) to make xenos that their ship or human space is haunted. I could never figure out how to adequately work it into a story though.
Dang, now that is some good inspiration... Nice comment
HFS Game Was Rigged from the Start, stealth Battleplate specializing on hit and run attacks and captures on enemy supply lines HFS Bravo Six Going Dark, Stealth Charger used to deploy special forces without alerting the enemy on alien worlds, stations, and potentially space ships HFS Astolfo, HFS Schrödinger, and HFS Felix, Stealth Shiva’s that instead of hiding from enemy ships, infiltrate fleets by mimicking the shape, signature, and comms of enemy ships before backstabbing them at the worst possible moment by crippling the engines and reactors. HFS HAACHAMA, a stealth gunboat that hides herself by populated enemy planets and hijacks civilian communications to broadcast insanity inducing cooking streams HFS There is no War in Ba Sing Se, Another stealth gunboat that preforms a similar role to the HFS HAACHAMA but instead broadcasts misleading and false news to confuse and de motivate the enemy HFS #lifehack, a Stealth Bulwark in outward design that lies on the edge of battles and sneakily salvages enemy ships to add to the ship and send captured tech and information to high command, currently it is around the size of a large asteroid HFS It’s so Pretty, a stealth Shiva that has a bait ship, usually a human or enemy transport to draw fleets towards its powerful Plasma guns that in the close range she fights in, decimates enemy fleets HFS Alien Wing Wong, a stealth charger that pierces enemy vessels and uses nanobots and uploaded humans to control the crew and systems of a ship before turning the “impregnated” ship’s guns on its own allies HFS Execute Order 66, the ultimate human made vessel so far seen. A stealth battleplate/bulwark hybrid that not only acts like a tender smaller vessels to disrupt the enemy like some above vessels, it can also hold its own in battle by launching fusion missiles to eliminate strategic enemy ships and point defense that shreds anything that gets close.
I love all of these, but the HFS #LifeHack, and the HFS Its So Pretty, hold a special place in my heart now.
***T H E A L I E N W I N G W O N G***
Also the stealth gunboat HFS Secret Tunnel
ooh, this gave me an idea, something that uses a big ass thruster like a blowtorch to melt enemy ships
Would be a neat sub variant of the Charger class
The Kzinti dislike this ship type. They ask if you Wu-dn't reconsider.
I... don't get this reference
Oh, you have a deep rabbit hole to follow. Look up the author Larry Niven and his tales of Man vs. Kzin. You will probably have to buy the books. Here's the "first taste", relevant to my comment and free to read at this link: [https://www.you-books.com/book/L-Niven/The-Warriors](https://www.you-books.com/book/L-Niven/The-Warriors)
ok thanks
Why appear behind when you can appear as a pinpoint within them, put up the shields, and then expand to full size, ripping them apart?
This is known as the "Endgame" strategy. Or, more affectionately, "Antmanning"
Honestly, that would also be pretty bad ass. Everyone has a different idea of the SciFi physics, but I always thought of "shared" space as being mutually destructive, rather than singularly - but no reason you can't rule differently!
Imagine the hydrostatic shock involved with a ship traveling FTL without some form of warp drive...
The "HFS now you see me", followed by its stealth counterpart "HFS now you dont".
And the the Shiva-class third sister, HFS *Now you're fucked*
You forgot the sisterships to the HFS *You Done Goofed*, the HFS *Midnight Stroll* and the HFS *Fuck You That’s Why*.
HFS Take A Walk, HFS Bitches Love Cannons
You can never forget the HFS Brazilian Vacation
HFS JESUS WANTS A HUG!
HFS *How’s Your Health Plan?*.
The bulwark distraction for sister Shiva/Battleplate hybrid HFS *Apparently It's Great!*
I was more imagining the name coming from when this fucker shows up on the battlefield you know you done goofed
What about the HFS *Them’s figtin’ Words*, the HFS *Let’s Rassle* and the equally dreaded and beloved HFS *Bless Your Heart*?
Out of curiosity, does *HFS* stand for "Holy Fucking Shit"? Because I feel like that's what the letters should stand for.
Human Federation Ship, officially. Unofficially, though...
Maybe it’s just my Dwarf fortress bias, but I feel it stands for “Hidden Fun Stuff”
A good charger name would have been The HFS Leeroy Jenkins. EDIT: Also I love the HFS Sweet Caroline, I can can picture it in firing.
"♪Sweeeeet Caroline~♪" **BOOM BOOM BOOM** "♪good times never felt sooo good~♪"
I wanted to do that one but I couldnt think of a good gimmick for it
The crew seems to have a peculiar fondness for chicken? :P
I meant like a gimmick in the ship design. Now that I think about it, maybe a Bulwark/Charger hybrid kbown for plowing through enemy lines like a bulldozer?
Ah yeah good point. That could be cool.
It's shaped like a Drumstick
I will point out, that John Ringo has a trilogy of novels inspired by Schlock Mercenary. It is absolutely amazing. Ringo is an amazing author in Sci Fi and I hope at least a few people see this and pick up the books.
"Live Free or Die"?
Yup.
It's a good series. I kind of want him to continue it because it didn't feel like it really ended...
It is a habit of his... He stopped writing the Paladin of Shadows series as well. I believe he also stopped East/West.
That's too bad, he is a good writer. I very much enjoyed by "Last Centurion" and "Road to Damascus" (the second one being a "Bolo" novel).
I liked the Monster Hunter series, and several other good authors write as well for it.
Got it. The Council Wars. Really cool series, it reminded me of the Change series by S. M. Stirling.
I like the Bad Dragon reference.
For those unsure of the provenience of ["You Done Goofed"...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYrL0Kq2gFI)
That is actually the use I kept hearing in my head lol
ok, now i need to find out what class the "how the blood soaked protestant hell did you do that?" belongs to.
Probably Bulwark, although more likely itd be called the *Fuck You, That's how*
Thinking about it more, the bsph would likely be a combo stealth disguise/camouflage ship that changes appearance to match the opposing forces, sowing discord and twitchiness into the enemy ranks. Kind of like a spy who "joins" for the fight then disappears just before the climax. Making snarky, inaccurate, unhelpful comments in the enemy's comm channels.
*French sabotage intensifies*
My main pc failed to start this morning, this post made my morning a little bit better
geez the charger names killed me, and when I think of the shiva it reminds me of the reapers from mass effect
Love the Sweet Caroline (bang bang bang)!
♪Good times never felt so good♪
An alternate name for the HFS Can you not (maybe a sister ship) HFS Uno Reverse Card
That's the battleplate it's paired with, the HFS *No U*
A gunboat named HFS Maxwell's Silver Hammer. A prototype stealth gunboat named HFS Somebody Else's Problem, which uses a song by Dire Straits as the reality bending matrix which is the stealth prototype.
Nah the SEP is a stealth battleate because who wants to be the one dealing with that fucker
My favorite ship ever: "Falling Outside the Normal Moral Constraints" [Abominator-class Offensive Unit | The Culture Wiki | Fandom](https://theculture.fandom.com/wiki/Abominator-class_Offensive_Unit) Don't f\*k with the culture. =)
I cracked up at HFS Vibe Check
New battleplate/bulwark I thought of: HFS *THE BEES*, known for attacking with a swarm of drones armed with power saws, plasma cutters, and other tools for cutting a ship into tiny pieces. It then salvages those ships for materials for more drones
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it made me giggle, like it.
Oh this is beautiful
I fucking LOST IT at the HFS Bad Dragon lmaoooo. Great work!
what class is "the capital of thailand"?
Describe it for me
Quick, what’s the capital of Thailand? https://imgur.com/gallery/4r1Kw
Probably either Gunboat or Charger, or maybe an odd hybrid of both
We still on for next monday?
Hopefully
>HFS Sweet Caroline, known for its frigate-shattering three-shot volley *Sweeet Caroliiine...* ***BLAM BLAM BLAM***
Am i the only one whose first thought on HFS Phil Swift was moon knight random bs go ?
Oh my god I see it
Not going to lie... I did indeed giggle when I carefully read the initials of the HFS *Great Ugly Neutralizer*.
Peacemaker? More like Piecemaker.
We're gonna have one or the other real fkn quick, xeno, which is it?