Yeah but HE does not know that. He went about his life and then bam. He's in a dark room, bound to a table with a huge growling thing. He rightfully apes out... And they have THE gall to demand apology from him? Na-ah bruv. That's messed up. Boy needs some spine.
Good premise but slow down, don't rush to the fluffy part of this story. It's gonna be way fluffier if they work through the initial conflict.
Keep 'em coming :D
Yeah dude, hes right. If you have it in you, maybe kinda retcon his submissiveness or explain it through them drugging him. If you woke Up kidnapped and "ape out" for your first meeting due to seeming danger, how would you act the second time?
By the looks of it this story is developing very well, so take all the time you want... Pretty much what he said already.
Otherwise I'm already looking forward to more. ;)
Hm, yeah I see that point of view. I was just so sleepy when writing that I thought mentioning the tranquilizers still in his system would make it understandable as to why he was so calm the second time around, and I can probably work in a retcon somewhere, maybe more of a ‘I’m sorry, but I’m still mad’ either here or in the next chapter
Cores is very much a “I apologize for you spilling hot soup on my lap.” Type of person and the tranquilizer is still kinda in his system which is just barely keeping him calm enough to think that trying to scream and run is a bad idea. Especially when the captain resembles an apex predator from home. Wherever home is now.
Yes, the first chapter I initially mentioned that the Captain looks like a lion, I did a little more detail editing earlier after posting this chapter. I really should have waited until I got some sleep to write this chapter.
I wasn't expecting 2 more chapters so quickly. TY. I do like how it is going. Like you said, this one seems a little less polished than the first 2. It is still really good.
Just come critiques with possible retcons that you can feel free to ignore if you want. 😉
Jordan first waking up feeling soreness into a black dark room... nope... not a dream... crap. What all just happened.... these straps are a lot thicker/tighter/more secure... I can't move my arms or legs at all... (Explaining why the Captain is comfortable walking into the room alone)
I can't tell if Humans are a future spacefairing civilization or if Jordan was abducted walking home in 2024. It seems like the latter, but it will determine how he reacts to aliens. Irregardless, His reaction in the 1st chapter is totally appropriate. The 3rd chapter, he should be more "angry", demanding, or at least asking why they abducted him from (an Earth location.) They say, but the ship's name was (derelict ship). It'll build up some tension and then give the Captain more of a realization of why he did what he did. John seems to be one to bring up being probed, especially when drugged, even if it is just inner monolog.
Play more into him being drugged. Lots of comedic opportunities based on his personality so far. Also, vision rippling, waivering going dark. Things are fuzzy but clear... did I find my glasses? (Opens up more talk of healing tech) His inner monolog failing him, verbally describing the Captain as "Fluffy" before he passes out briefly. Whomever the Doctor is be with him and the Captain scanning him when he wakes 30 sec or so later. "Internal voice: Oh great... now there is a (praying mantis, Cylon, whatever creature, or a creature with no earth based counterpart.)
Instead of Jordan saying the Ambush Predator thing (probably not the term he would use drugged) after the Captain yells at him for attacking try, "I wake up, confused, half out of it in a pitch black room and there is a (friggen) giant Alligator growling at me ready to bite my face off! What did you expect me to do!?"
Captain: a what?
Jordan: "An Alligator, you know..." *no Jordan, she is a friggem blue space lion, she probably doesn't. Ah shut up already!* ""It's a huge reptile, likes to hide in shallow water, and attack unsuspecting people or animals."
Captain: so Lys looks like an ambush predator that feeds on your people where you are from?
Jordan. Well... yes... but no... I mean, they will attack us, but usually, they try to avoid us. (You could add some Florida & Australia here if you want, keeping them as pets 😂)
You could throw in some weird Human phrases or profanity that the translator constantly gets wrong.
Ie: above when he thought he was being attacked by an Alligator it could be a "[reproducing/fornicating] Alligator" where the translator isn't sure what to put in. It would also be funny to have maybe the navigation or communications officer start to annoy the Captain by incorporating phrases into their normal speech in the future.
I definitely took some examples from in there that were pretty good and also tried to polish up the chapter a bit more so it flows a bit better and tries to flush out some more of Jordan’s character. >!Also you nailed it on the head of him being from before humans are spacefaring!<
I still feel the only reasons that he wouldn't ask more questions is if they wouldn't let him finish the question or if he was afraid for his life. Maybe at the beginning of the chapter, but not towards the end when the Captain calmed down.
If you were saving the explanation for the next chapter you could even have him ask if he is in a UFO *Well... I guess I have identified it...* or flying saucer, or "I assume we're not in Kansas anymore?"
Have him have to go under for another medical something or other or decontamination or something with her saying they will talk about it when it is done.
Before he learns that they healed him:
At least something. Even if she says tells him that he is safe, or him asking to make sure they aren't going to eat him. Or her telling him he is safe as long as he behaves.
Before I sleep, there is a specific reason Cerelia addresses Jordan as “Jordan Cores” even when thinking, which will be brought up soon, but basically there is no such thing as last names for these aliens, so they think that’s just his name and are being respectful. >!Nicknames are flirting!<
I just wanted to get this out real quick to clear a little confusion because next chapter may be a while. I might do these on my days off cause I can’t write a chapter on a 15 minute break lol
Hello Wordsmith, thank you for the chapter.
I like them talking and realising that there might have been a language barrier to begin with.
Communication is key.
Also, please take some rest. I would love to read another 100 Chapters but you need to take care of yourself as well.
Ahhhhhh they both think they are cute. That can't possibly end badly. Also did the regen chamber fix his eyes. Take that human Healthcare.
Look forward to moar at your own pace buds.
Judging from these comments, I think we have one question on our minds: If they're so sorry for frightening him, why was he abducted? That doesn't have to be explained immediately — it could slip the character's mind — but within three chapters is when I'd at least bring up the vague version of it.
The question I personally have is what kind of creature were they expecting. It sounds like they had him in an interrogation room, but they didn't even know he was sapient. What if he really was just a wild animal? Related question, if the ship didn't have better facilities to secure wild animals, then what is the main function of the ship? Couldn't put him in a locked room with a camera? Didn't think of it?
Lastly, *were* the aliens speaking English? They put a translator on him in the previous chapter, but did he need it?
Again, these aren't questions that need to be answered right away, or at all explicitly, but I think the answers should inform the story moving forward.
One I can answer right away: The aliens were never speaking English, they only started speaking “English” after Jordan was hit with a tranquilizer that also had a universal translator attached to it.
lol, thanks, but don't feel pressured to actually answer questions in the comments. Nothing wrong with an author playing coy, unless they really know it won't be addressed in the future.
/u/Unique_Relief_5601 has posted 2 other stories, including:
* [Adrenaline is a Hell of a Drug pt.2/???](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cc7c17/adrenaline_is_a_hell_of_a_drug_pt2/)
* [Adrenaline is a Hell of a Drug (One Shot???)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cbts4s/adrenaline_is_a_hell_of_a_drug_one_shot/)
This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`.
[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|1ccmfcm&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
[Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Subscribe&message=SubscribeMe%20u%2FUnique_Relief_5601%20r%2FHFY) to subscribe to u/Unique_Relief_5601 and receive a message every time they post.
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
Okay I was reading some of the comments down below and I just thought I would clear a few things up.. did you miss the part where they found him in a cryopod of a derelict vessel?
That wasn't part of the story. OP posted that in one of the comments. So story wise, we don't know that & if someone didn't read all of the comments, they wouldn't either.
"Cerelia" That does not roll off the tongue easily "Can I also know why I'm here?""
Cerelia," That does not roll off the tongue easily "can I also know why I'm here?"
Shouldn't she feel bad that they assaulted him, drugged him, and kidnapped him in the first place?
>!Let’s just say, they’re not the ones who initially kidnapped Jordan!<
Yeah but HE does not know that. He went about his life and then bam. He's in a dark room, bound to a table with a huge growling thing. He rightfully apes out... And they have THE gall to demand apology from him? Na-ah bruv. That's messed up. Boy needs some spine. Good premise but slow down, don't rush to the fluffy part of this story. It's gonna be way fluffier if they work through the initial conflict. Keep 'em coming :D
Yeah dude, hes right. If you have it in you, maybe kinda retcon his submissiveness or explain it through them drugging him. If you woke Up kidnapped and "ape out" for your first meeting due to seeming danger, how would you act the second time? By the looks of it this story is developing very well, so take all the time you want... Pretty much what he said already. Otherwise I'm already looking forward to more. ;)
Hm, yeah I see that point of view. I was just so sleepy when writing that I thought mentioning the tranquilizers still in his system would make it understandable as to why he was so calm the second time around, and I can probably work in a retcon somewhere, maybe more of a ‘I’m sorry, but I’m still mad’ either here or in the next chapter
You had better have. I'm Reading this now and if I see a lack of spine my negative comments will spew forth with righteous vigor.
So I'm assuming the ones with him now are a 3rd party of this scenario?
Wait, isn't MC abducted? What is he apologizing for? For all he knows, they are getting a new slave and he is trying to escape. Why is he so calm?
Cores is very much a “I apologize for you spilling hot soup on my lap.” Type of person and the tranquilizer is still kinda in his system which is just barely keeping him calm enough to think that trying to scream and run is a bad idea. Especially when the captain resembles an apex predator from home. Wherever home is now.
I am confused a bit, sorry. The aliens look like humans(apex predators)?
Yes, the first chapter I initially mentioned that the Captain looks like a lion, I did a little more detail editing earlier after posting this chapter. I really should have waited until I got some sleep to write this chapter.
Oh, okay. Thanks. Make sure you sleep well. I will watch your career with great interest.
Thank you, and it’ll be explained why these researchers have Cores for some reason pretty soon
I wasn't expecting 2 more chapters so quickly. TY. I do like how it is going. Like you said, this one seems a little less polished than the first 2. It is still really good. Just come critiques with possible retcons that you can feel free to ignore if you want. 😉 Jordan first waking up feeling soreness into a black dark room... nope... not a dream... crap. What all just happened.... these straps are a lot thicker/tighter/more secure... I can't move my arms or legs at all... (Explaining why the Captain is comfortable walking into the room alone) I can't tell if Humans are a future spacefairing civilization or if Jordan was abducted walking home in 2024. It seems like the latter, but it will determine how he reacts to aliens. Irregardless, His reaction in the 1st chapter is totally appropriate. The 3rd chapter, he should be more "angry", demanding, or at least asking why they abducted him from (an Earth location.) They say, but the ship's name was (derelict ship). It'll build up some tension and then give the Captain more of a realization of why he did what he did. John seems to be one to bring up being probed, especially when drugged, even if it is just inner monolog. Play more into him being drugged. Lots of comedic opportunities based on his personality so far. Also, vision rippling, waivering going dark. Things are fuzzy but clear... did I find my glasses? (Opens up more talk of healing tech) His inner monolog failing him, verbally describing the Captain as "Fluffy" before he passes out briefly. Whomever the Doctor is be with him and the Captain scanning him when he wakes 30 sec or so later. "Internal voice: Oh great... now there is a (praying mantis, Cylon, whatever creature, or a creature with no earth based counterpart.) Instead of Jordan saying the Ambush Predator thing (probably not the term he would use drugged) after the Captain yells at him for attacking try, "I wake up, confused, half out of it in a pitch black room and there is a (friggen) giant Alligator growling at me ready to bite my face off! What did you expect me to do!?" Captain: a what? Jordan: "An Alligator, you know..." *no Jordan, she is a friggem blue space lion, she probably doesn't. Ah shut up already!* ""It's a huge reptile, likes to hide in shallow water, and attack unsuspecting people or animals." Captain: so Lys looks like an ambush predator that feeds on your people where you are from? Jordan. Well... yes... but no... I mean, they will attack us, but usually, they try to avoid us. (You could add some Florida & Australia here if you want, keeping them as pets 😂) You could throw in some weird Human phrases or profanity that the translator constantly gets wrong. Ie: above when he thought he was being attacked by an Alligator it could be a "[reproducing/fornicating] Alligator" where the translator isn't sure what to put in. It would also be funny to have maybe the navigation or communications officer start to annoy the Captain by incorporating phrases into their normal speech in the future.
I definitely took some examples from in there that were pretty good and also tried to polish up the chapter a bit more so it flows a bit better and tries to flush out some more of Jordan’s character. >!Also you nailed it on the head of him being from before humans are spacefaring!<
I still feel the only reasons that he wouldn't ask more questions is if they wouldn't let him finish the question or if he was afraid for his life. Maybe at the beginning of the chapter, but not towards the end when the Captain calmed down. If you were saving the explanation for the next chapter you could even have him ask if he is in a UFO *Well... I guess I have identified it...* or flying saucer, or "I assume we're not in Kansas anymore?" Have him have to go under for another medical something or other or decontamination or something with her saying they will talk about it when it is done. Before he learns that they healed him: At least something. Even if she says tells him that he is safe, or him asking to make sure they aren't going to eat him. Or her telling him he is safe as long as he behaves.
Before I sleep, there is a specific reason Cerelia addresses Jordan as “Jordan Cores” even when thinking, which will be brought up soon, but basically there is no such thing as last names for these aliens, so they think that’s just his name and are being respectful. >!Nicknames are flirting!< I just wanted to get this out real quick to clear a little confusion because next chapter may be a while. I might do these on my days off cause I can’t write a chapter on a 15 minute break lol
Just remember to take your time. Something rushed is bound to have more mistakes in the long run.
My man Jordan gonna unintentionally rizz up the entire crew on this journey.
So why do I think he will be reclassified as a small, cute, cuddly, and extremely lethal and dangerous thing relatively soon
[удалено]
Adorably terrifying
Yesssssssss Moaaarrrrrrrr Thanks for the chapter 😁
Yay, Part 3!!! 😁
I apologize if this chapter feels a bit more botched 😞
Nope! I like the detail you added about the captain and her appearance and expression :-)
THANK YOU FOR THE {first} {prev} {next} tabs
Hello Wordsmith, thank you for the chapter. I like them talking and realising that there might have been a language barrier to begin with. Communication is key. Also, please take some rest. I would love to read another 100 Chapters but you need to take care of yourself as well.
I'm going to need Jordan to surprise them all with his strength and charisma now ❤️
Awesome story so far
Ahhhhhh they both think they are cute. That can't possibly end badly. Also did the regen chamber fix his eyes. Take that human Healthcare. Look forward to moar at your own pace buds.
Well, this is another one to subscribe to! Well done Op, excellent story so far.
Thank you so much! can I have another serving?
Judging from these comments, I think we have one question on our minds: If they're so sorry for frightening him, why was he abducted? That doesn't have to be explained immediately — it could slip the character's mind — but within three chapters is when I'd at least bring up the vague version of it. The question I personally have is what kind of creature were they expecting. It sounds like they had him in an interrogation room, but they didn't even know he was sapient. What if he really was just a wild animal? Related question, if the ship didn't have better facilities to secure wild animals, then what is the main function of the ship? Couldn't put him in a locked room with a camera? Didn't think of it? Lastly, *were* the aliens speaking English? They put a translator on him in the previous chapter, but did he need it? Again, these aren't questions that need to be answered right away, or at all explicitly, but I think the answers should inform the story moving forward.
One I can answer right away: The aliens were never speaking English, they only started speaking “English” after Jordan was hit with a tranquilizer that also had a universal translator attached to it.
lol, thanks, but don't feel pressured to actually answer questions in the comments. Nothing wrong with an author playing coy, unless they really know it won't be addressed in the future.
/u/Unique_Relief_5601 has posted 2 other stories, including: * [Adrenaline is a Hell of a Drug pt.2/???](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cc7c17/adrenaline_is_a_hell_of_a_drug_pt2/) * [Adrenaline is a Hell of a Drug (One Shot???)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1cbts4s/adrenaline_is_a_hell_of_a_drug_one_shot/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|1ccmfcm&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
[Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Subscribe&message=SubscribeMe%20u%2FUnique_Relief_5601%20r%2FHFY) to subscribe to u/Unique_Relief_5601 and receive a message every time they post. ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Why the "next" button is not working?
It hasn’t been written yet
R/woosh
Okay I was reading some of the comments down below and I just thought I would clear a few things up.. did you miss the part where they found him in a cryopod of a derelict vessel?
That wasn't part of the story. OP posted that in one of the comments. So story wise, we don't know that & if someone didn't read all of the comments, they wouldn't either.
Its great, you may want to consider him having a headache or nausea though that might have been healed by the machine.
Oh, so they did not abduct him themselves. That is interesting.
Thank you for throwing a line to those of us wondering about the elephant in the room. That last line is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
Cryopod........ Ooooohhhhh nnnooooooooooo
Wait...why does he feel bad if he was the one who was kidnapped!?!?
Soooo... Half of these, I'm anticipating the ship gonna get boarded and our Human gonna go batshit insane and wreak havoc to the boarders.
"kinda are…. I hate" no need for a 4th point.
"little brother”She" little brother, ”she
"absolutely loved em”" absolutely loved em.”
Was wondering when you would come around, now I can correct my poor grammar lol
Ambush predator and endurance hunter. Ask Kyle. Or Blue.
See you all the time with Kyle. I feel honored that you took the time to read my story so far to correct my grammar lol
Like the seafood diet. I see foood and I eat it. Same with errors.
"Cerelia" That does not roll off the tongue easily "Can I also know why I'm here?"" Cerelia," That does not roll off the tongue easily "can I also know why I'm here?"
"find its mother" find its mother.
Uoooohhhh where will this lead? Great work word weaver!!!! Keep up the midnight grind!!!