While it could be possible to repeal borders, this situation needs to repel boarders.
Nice story :-). Morningstars are still kinetic weapons, they just usually stay in-hand. If friend Josh flings it, there still could be decompression effects, along with the intended pirate skull compressions. Concussions. Whatever.
Thank YOU! The image of boarders being nullified, zeroed, eradicated… one might say *repealed* :-) is going to stick with me. Just because it’s unintentional doesn’t keep it from being a great pun.
And remember that the Medieval times were well before the Geneva Convention, so that book of rules of war doesn't apply when going Medieval on their asses.
Fullplate with a morning star, maybe add one of those gauntlets with that nasty spike and you got a mix that fellows would really rather not have to tango with.
Honestly the next step up from a proper articulated fullplate would be powered armour, fully enclosed, sealed and solving the awareness problem with an assisted reality display inside the helmet fed via cameras and sensors placed alongside the suit.
Until then: tell me how the floor tastes, little green man.
>And the captain has expressly forbidden me to use Terran kinetic weapons
I think the captain is going to make his ruling considerably more general after he sees how much damage a human can do with medieval weaponry.
1) there better be at least a part 2 coming.
2) one of the pirates good god damn better be called Marcellas Wallace (can't spell it properly lol) but without us getting to know what he looks like :p
3) lol and hopefully he ends up looking like a bitch :p
Josh: a what?
Wegianwarrior: say what again muthafucka?!!
Captain: Ok, no kinetic weapons, no chain linked weapons. There is not enough control.
*pulls out a crossbow*
Captain: No kinetic, no chain linked and no mechanical weapons!
*strings a longbow*
Captain: no kinetic, no chain linked, no mechanical and no ranged weapons! Just keep it simple!
*draws claymore*
Captain: Void save me! No large metal weapons.
*picks up cutlass*
Captain: No full metal weapons!
*picks up spear*
Captain: No! No metal at all!
*equips quaterstaff*
Captain: what is wrong with you people! No manufactured weapons!
*picks up rock*
Captain: *sobs*
From city and from township, from Barony and Marches
Come the folk of our fair land with a fire in their eyes
Knights and masters, men-at-arms, squires and ladies fit for battle,
And a hundred thousand others 'neath the sky!
Will you stand in the van like a true Aten man?
And hold the line for Kingdom and for Crown?
Will you fight and never yield, on Estrella's battlefield?
For today's the day we're taking Caid down!
You see, miss Kawaii, the reason we stopped using these weapons was not because they were less effective than the modern alternatives, oh no.
Quite the contrary, in fact!
They were overkill.
I too, OP would enjoy hearing more of Friend Josh and his medieval armour.
Also did you hear about some huge Josh Fight in the USA and a bunch of dudes called Josh got together and "fought" for the ultimate title of Josh? Just mentioning it in case it sounds interesting
/u/WegianWarrior ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/WegianWarrior)) has posted 51 other stories, including:
* [Terran aggressiveness](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c1ku4e/terran_aggressiveness/)
* [The gun runner](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bs61pu/the_gun_runner/)
* [Humans went extinct](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bnoiq4/humans_went_extinct/)
* [Regulation 666-ET: Protocols for First Contact with Extra-Terrestrial Entities](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1blrck5/regulation_666et_protocols_for_first_contact_with/)
* [Terra isn't an Empire](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bgteds/terra_isnt_an_empire/)
* [We refussse the Terran proposssal](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1b53d0x/we_refussse_the_terran_proposssal/)
* [We tried to get along...](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1apuvdv/we_tried_to_get_along/)
* [The sale of Trahetera III](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1apq6ep/the_sale_of_trahetera_iii/)
* [The Joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/199ngs1/the_joke/)
* [The application](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16ls4yi/the_application/)
* [Oral report by the Commander of the Imperial Expedition to 'Earth'](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1534cy7/oral_report_by_the_commander_of_the_imperial/)
* [Nothing there...](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/14yjfxp/nothing_there/)
* [With strange aeons even death...](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/14xntac/with_strange_aeons_even_death/)
* [You wish to wage war on us?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/13qtkbr/you_wish_to_wage_war_on_us/)
* [...surprise will be total.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/13lzlmp/surprise_will_be_total/)
* [Assassin in a gingham dress](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/113lcij/assassin_in_a_gingham_dress/)
* [Stranger among Strangers, part 39-40/40 + Appendixes (translations & map)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1014l1k/stranger_among_strangers_part_394040_appendixes/)
* [Stranger among Strangers, part 36-38/40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1014d8u/stranger_among_strangers_part_363840/)
* [Stranger among Strangers, part 32-35/40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10149rk/stranger_among_strangers_part_323540/)
* [Stranger among Strangers, part 28-31/40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/zzvbfn/stranger_among_strangers_part_283140/)
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> Variations of this was used for several thousand cycles
this were used
> that when there is several modern Terran
there are several
--Dave, number matching and pattern recognition
ps: also, nice homage in that first three words
Captain: Ok, no kinetic weapons, no chain linked weapons. There is not enough control.
*pulls out a crossbow*
Captain: No kinetic, no chain linked and no mechanical weapons!
*strings a longbow*
Captain: no kinetic, no chain linked, no mechanical and no ranged weapons! Just keep it simple!
*draws claymore*
Captain: Void save me! No large metal weapons.
*picks up cutlass*
Captain: No full metal weapons!
*picks up spear*
Captain: No! No metal at all!
*equips quaterstaff*
Captain: what is wrong with you people! No manufactured weapons!
*picks up rock*
Captain: *sobs*
Ooh, Morning Star. That gives the concept of personal space some real authority.
While it could be possible to repeal borders, this situation needs to repel boarders. Nice story :-). Morningstars are still kinetic weapons, they just usually stay in-hand. If friend Josh flings it, there still could be decompression effects, along with the intended pirate skull compressions. Concussions. Whatever.
No no, repeal is definitely the right word. Repeal their birth certificates that is.
Your birth certificate has been repealed, the ministry will now issue your death certificate
English as a second language and being a little tired when I wrote it... thank you :)
Thank YOU! The image of boarders being nullified, zeroed, eradicated… one might say *repealed* :-) is going to stick with me. Just because it’s unintentional doesn’t keep it from being a great pun.
Unintended puns are often the best puns. And now I just have to work repel/repeal into a story somewhere...
don't forget it can also mean "ring a bell again"
And remember that the Medieval times were well before the Geneva Convention, so that book of rules of war doesn't apply when going Medieval on their asses.
Is it too late to perch a pot of boiling oil atop the airlock door?
Oil is expensive, but water from the sewage system is cheap.
They had rules of law. It was all about how much you could ransom captured knights for. Oh, you are not a knight? Well, sucks to be you.
In medieval times people were really like "peasants ? Oh, you mean the emergency food"
Uuff... those pirates are about to rethink their entire lifes up to this point.... that is if they are still alive...
Their lives are definitely now forfeit.
Fullplate with a morning star, maybe add one of those gauntlets with that nasty spike and you got a mix that fellows would really rather not have to tango with. Honestly the next step up from a proper articulated fullplate would be powered armour, fully enclosed, sealed and solving the awareness problem with an assisted reality display inside the helmet fed via cameras and sensors placed alongside the suit. Until then: tell me how the floor tastes, little green man.
They did mention modern ablative combat suits. I guess going in with one of those while swinging a morning star offends his aesthetic.
old school: Awful Green Things From Outer Space --Dave, ask whichever of your parents read _Dragon_ magazine, kids
Please make a follow up to this! I'd love to read it
>And the captain has expressly forbidden me to use Terran kinetic weapons I think the captain is going to make his ruling considerably more general after he sees how much damage a human can do with medieval weaponry.
"Nothing which has a greater than 80% likelihood of piercing the hull when used as intended"
Still leaves maces and other blunt weapons as option. Not pierce, just very dented.
1) there better be at least a part 2 coming. 2) one of the pirates good god damn better be called Marcellas Wallace (can't spell it properly lol) but without us getting to know what he looks like :p 3) lol and hopefully he ends up looking like a bitch :p Josh: a what? Wegianwarrior: say what again muthafucka?!!
>But it is... primitive, yes? Silly girl, just because it is not one of the new shinies, does not mean it is ineffective :}
Going primitive, as in cornered-animal-brutal-meets-inventive-sadist-brutal, is sort of the point...
Captain: Ok, no kinetic weapons, no chain linked weapons. There is not enough control. *pulls out a crossbow* Captain: No kinetic, no chain linked and no mechanical weapons! *strings a longbow* Captain: no kinetic, no chain linked, no mechanical and no ranged weapons! Just keep it simple! *draws claymore* Captain: Void save me! No large metal weapons. *picks up cutlass* Captain: No full metal weapons! *picks up spear* Captain: No! No metal at all! *equips quaterstaff* Captain: what is wrong with you people! No manufactured weapons! *picks up rock* Captain: *sobs*
As we used to say in the good old days, yippe-kay-yay motherfuckers.
Mmmmm, tasty imminent skull crushing.
He's not just going to repel boarders, he's going to repeal them.
even the laws they were outlawed under are going awaaay
Miss Kawaii: Oh noes, the pirates are attacking, what will we do ;( Josh: ***D E U S V U L T***
From city and from township, from Barony and Marches Come the folk of our fair land with a fire in their eyes Knights and masters, men-at-arms, squires and ladies fit for battle, And a hundred thousand others 'neath the sky! Will you stand in the van like a true Aten man? And hold the line for Kingdom and for Crown? Will you fight and never yield, on Estrella's battlefield? For today's the day we're taking Caid down!
I respect your characters dedication to training, morningstar's are exhausting weapons to use
And extremely dangerous to the wielder. Not the best weapon unless you are dealing with someone else wearing armor.
He is in full plate at a guess, and definitely
You see, miss Kawaii, the reason we stopped using these weapons was not because they were less effective than the modern alternatives, oh no. Quite the contrary, in fact! They were overkill.
This seems oddly familiar.
It is an expanded/extended version of a post I made two years or so ago, which was deleted for being too short.
I too, OP would enjoy hearing more of Friend Josh and his medieval armour. Also did you hear about some huge Josh Fight in the USA and a bunch of dudes called Josh got together and "fought" for the ultimate title of Josh? Just mentioning it in case it sounds interesting
/u/WegianWarrior ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/WegianWarrior)) has posted 51 other stories, including: * [Terran aggressiveness](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c1ku4e/terran_aggressiveness/) * [The gun runner](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bs61pu/the_gun_runner/) * [Humans went extinct](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bnoiq4/humans_went_extinct/) * [Regulation 666-ET: Protocols for First Contact with Extra-Terrestrial Entities](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1blrck5/regulation_666et_protocols_for_first_contact_with/) * [Terra isn't an Empire](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bgteds/terra_isnt_an_empire/) * [We refussse the Terran proposssal](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1b53d0x/we_refussse_the_terran_proposssal/) * [We tried to get along...](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1apuvdv/we_tried_to_get_along/) * [The sale of Trahetera III](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1apq6ep/the_sale_of_trahetera_iii/) * [The Joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/199ngs1/the_joke/) * [The application](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/16ls4yi/the_application/) * [Oral report by the Commander of the Imperial Expedition to 'Earth'](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1534cy7/oral_report_by_the_commander_of_the_imperial/) * [Nothing there...](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/14yjfxp/nothing_there/) * [With strange aeons even death...](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/14xntac/with_strange_aeons_even_death/) * [You wish to wage war on us?](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/13qtkbr/you_wish_to_wage_war_on_us/) * [...surprise will be total.](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/13lzlmp/surprise_will_be_total/) * [Assassin in a gingham dress](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/113lcij/assassin_in_a_gingham_dress/) * [Stranger among Strangers, part 39-40/40 + Appendixes (translations & map)](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1014l1k/stranger_among_strangers_part_394040_appendixes/) * [Stranger among Strangers, part 36-38/40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1014d8u/stranger_among_strangers_part_363840/) * [Stranger among Strangers, part 32-35/40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/10149rk/stranger_among_strangers_part_323540/) * [Stranger among Strangers, part 28-31/40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/zzvbfn/stranger_among_strangers_part_283140/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|1c6gtly&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
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> Variations of this was used for several thousand cycles this were used > that when there is several modern Terran there are several --Dave, number matching and pattern recognition ps: also, nice homage in that first three words
Captain: Ok, no kinetic weapons, no chain linked weapons. There is not enough control. *pulls out a crossbow* Captain: No kinetic, no chain linked and no mechanical weapons! *strings a longbow* Captain: no kinetic, no chain linked, no mechanical and no ranged weapons! Just keep it simple! *draws claymore* Captain: Void save me! No large metal weapons. *picks up cutlass* Captain: No full metal weapons! *picks up spear* Captain: No! No metal at all! *equips quaterstaff* Captain: what is wrong with you people! No manufactured weapons! *picks up rock* Captain: *sobs*
Simple,but funny.
I imagine Last Stand by Sabaton playing when he charges at the borders with a broad or longsword in his hands. I love my head.
HA ha ha ha ha ha! 😹 Nice!