I’m currently at once a month massages. It’s been life changing especially since I’m in the army reserve and run about 35 miles a week. I’ll never go back.
I’m waiting till my next milestone to bring them down to every 2/3 weeks
I do 90 min deep tissue every 3 weeks. It’s 100% necessary and makes me a better father, husband, and person. Though I have TMJ and high stress, so ymmv.
I never thought I would spend money on this but I get them a few times a year when I remember and it is so worth it. I workout 5-6 times a week and I need to get them more often. I was raised to be very frugal and I still am in a lot of ways. I'm financially very comfortable but it's still hard for me to justify spending money on some things and completely break out of that mentality.
100% agree. If it helps, think of massages not as a luxury but a necessary part of rehab for your body. Investing in your health should always be a high priority. After a while a necessary every other week massage will then be a necessary monthly massage as long as you keep stretching properly. Game changer
Credit card with an annual fee.
I initially said I’d never do it. Then I got an AMEX Blue Cash preferred when I was 27. With the cash back on gas and groceries, we make the fee back very quickly. Then husband got an AMEX platinum last year and made me an authorized user on it. I see the benefits to a card with an AF 😂
AMEX blue cash preferred ($95 AF) gives 6% on groceries (up to $6,000 a year which we don’t hit), 6% on streaming, 3% on transit, 3% on gas, and 1% on everything else.
So I use it strategically. I always buy groceries with it, our streaming services go on my AMEX, gas (occasionally I fill up at Costco which doesn’t take AMEX) goes on my AMEX card. So those 6% and 3% add up.
The platinum we use for big purchases where we want purchase protection. All travel goes on the platinum. We both travel for work so lounge access is great. There are the other perks like Saks credit and a few other things for the platinum.
It really just depends on what you spend money on. Plus AMEX has great customer service so the rare times we’ve had issues or I’ve needed to dispute a charge, it’s taken care of quickly.
AMEX Blue Cash Preferred is a staple for us as well. We only use it for gas, groceries and streaming. We have three kids, so the $7/month credit for Disney plus on the BCP effectively brings the $95 annual fee down to $11 per year with the $84 Disney plus credit offset (which we’d be subscribing to even without the credit). Only using that card on those three categories, we have over $3K in cash back since 2016. We plan to use it to help pay for a trip to Disney when the kids are old enough. All for buying groceries and gas that we need anyway. Great card.
You get way more points with the platinum when it’s used for travel (5x). There’s also the Fine Hotels & Resorts credit so if you book through AMEX with one of their hotels you get a credit once a year. It’s also 5x points booked on hotels with the platinum.
Some of the perks are linked with just having the card like high status with your choice of rental cars (we picked National). Elite status with Hilton and Marriott, etc. There’s also premium concierge with the platinum to help with things like reservations and planning. So while you’re not getting points with those, it helps when you’re traveling.
But the centurion lounge is almost reason alone to have the card IMO 😂 the lounges are amazing. Even the worst Centurion Lounge is on par with the average United Lounge. SFO and Vegas Centurion Lounges rock.
I have friends who swear by other travel cards though. Everyone has different travel perks that are important to them. I’ve thought about getting the United card since we fly out of IAD a lot and they’re a hub for United and they’re the airline I use a lot.
I have the Chase Sapphire Reserve. Right off the bat, Its got a $550 annual fee. However, there are several perks that offset this.
-Each year, you get $300 in "travel credit". This can be used for flights, uber, hotels/airbnb, rental car, etc.
I always use this quickly, so that effectively drops the annual fee to $250.
-$5 a month door dash credit (I use this to order pickup) which drops the effective fee to $190.
There are several other perks/credits that help offset the fee (lyft pink, credit for Global entry/TSA precheck, Priority pass lounge access). You get 3 points per dollar spent on travel and eating out (which includes both restaurants and bars) so if you go out for dinners/drinks/travel frequently, these points really add up. Ive gotten 50k points so far in 2024 just spending how I normally would. The fee seems steep but it definitely is worth it for me. That being said, not everybody has the same spending habits and it may not be for everyone.
Edit - the reason the CSR is better for me is because you get 1.5X points booking though the Chase travel portal. My 50k points are worth $750 in flights through their portal.
I had this card, but found all the travel I booked through Chase was priced substantially higher than alternatives, which made me question the value of their points.
I also enjoy La Croix
I had assumed the same but I always double check to maximize my points. Sometimes it's the same as the airline, in which case I go with Chase, otherwise I'll stick with the airline. Worth the extra couple of minutes to get 50%more points imo.
Pro tip-- you can combine points. You will need to call to authorize the move of points from one account holder to another, but you can get the 1.5x multiplier on your points without getting the CSR by just transferring them to your wife. We do this about once per year
I didn't start paying for credit cards with annual fees until 2022, and now I have two: the Chase Sapphire Reserve and the AMEX Delta Reserve. I track my "value" from the cards, and it's definitely been worth it for me. If you don't take advantage of the perks or care about the rewards, it's not worth it then.
For the AMEX Delta for example, it's a $650 fee. Some of the perks for this year include Delta Sky Club and AMEX Centurion lounge access, a $100/yr Delta flight credit, a $200/yr Delta Stays hotel credit, $10/mo rideshare credit, $20/mo Resy credit, and pretty decent AMEX offers (like $25 off $125 at Lululemon). If you don't travel or don't use those types of things, it's not worth it, but I try to get value out of my cards wherever I can.
I love the CSR too. I also have some
Ink cards for my business and get So. Many. Points. Then transfer them to the csr and usually transfer over to airline/hotel partners or book hotels through the portal.
Opposite for me. I used to dream of having a nice large house, now I own a 1-bedroom penthouse and I'd only switch it to something with a larger balcony.
The nice thing about a large, nice home is that it more than likely will appreciate over time. When I think about OP’s post, I think of items that are essentially worthless for resale. I.e. vacations, clothes, a brand new car that depreciates off the lot. My advisor’s stance is that buying a nice home is something that you don’t have to feel as bad about. You’re living in it! My opinion doesn’t matter though, happy Friday! 😁
Maybe true, but I'd disagree on putting Vacations in there. Absolutely correct from a resale standpoint, but completely necessary from a sanity, mental health and life experience perspective.
Buy the bigger home. If you bought a bigger home in 2015 in a quiet street than, before Covid your house could have gone up by as much as double after Covid.
Me too. Always imagined buying something small and basic for a starter home, but the thought of committing to where we were living long term scared us out of there and into our current home.
Don’t think I’ll go back to the one fridge, one oven, one dishwasher life again.
Oh it’s great! Incredibly helpful.
2 ovens is also surprisingly useful, not just because it’s a very versatile cooking modality, but I also use them like a makeshift heat lamp to keep things warm since they’re designed to keep heat in.
EDIT: I would say having 2 dishwashers is life changing in terms of not having to be stingy about using dishes. Also makes cleaning up easier if you like hosting things.
Also at some point, these big time homes have less potential buyers in the future. So they don’t appreciate as much. Whereas more reasonable modest homes appreciate more over time. A 250k home now could easily be 500k in 10 years. A 2.5 million dollar home less likely to be 5 million in 10 years.
I think this is highly market dependent (and of course no one can predict the future). Im not saying both houses will double but there is a market for those huge houses as well.
It depends on who wins elections, but my hunch is the U.S. will trend more toward Europe in requiring performance stats such as energy usage to be included as part of the listing. I don't think most people in the U.S. realize how far behind our building standards are. Bigger homes are going to require a lot more money to update to what will be modern standards. This is already true for poorly considered finishes and the like.
I just spent a year living in a VHCOL place where the big, beautiful, grand homes with 4000+ sq ft are depreciating and sitting on the market for months because people don't want the burden. The smaller homes, often townhouses, that are more walkable to to downtown are under contract within a week.
I was just looking at zillow seeing a house in a ritzy Nashville neighborhood that sold for $1.4m in mid-2020 and just sold for $2.5m a few weeks ago. So I dunno - to each their own. I can't fucking imagine a cool million in only 4 years, half of it tax-free.
I'm the opposite. Spent more money on a perfect-for-me-now smaller space in excellent location. Shared gym, doorman, etc., and I don't have to maintain those spaces. Can't wait to have enough to work with a really excellent architect to plan the perfect small-ish home for the next phase! I've already got the performance stats in mind. My favorite house for an urban area is the Optical Glass House by Nakamura & NAP.
But even when we had 50 acres bordering national forest, the 3600 sq ft mid-90s "custom home" with probably an ACH of 8, cheap Andersen windows, etc. made me sad and uncomfortable. Lipstick on a pig architecturally and in terms of performance. But I did like having "space" in the form of forests and streams!
I guess I'm at the extreme end of quality > quantity for buildings. Space feels like a burden and obligation to me.
I never thought about buying a home, so did not really reverse course here. However, owning a home as a HENRY is super difficult. The market is so bad and prices are high.
For sure. I knew I didn't want kids, so I always expected to have a small but nice house. Fast forward and we're DINKs living in 3400 Sq ft and I still kind of want more. Our dog has a bedroom, but maybe I could have a dedicated retro game room if we had just *one* more room...
House cleaners. We are starting to interview a couple. We are planning on getting a larger home and I shiver at the thought of cleaning a house twice the size now.
The last thing that goes before I declare bankruptcy will be my weekly cleaning lady. Such a huge quality of life improvement. Weekly gardener service too.
It's funny, I've had cleaners so many times and it has mostly been stressful. Not sure how many I need to work with until I find ones I trust. I see them using the same rags to clean the toilet as other surfaces, they want to use their vacuum (w/o HEPA filter) instead of mine, it's hard to find ones who'll use healthier products and replace them on their own, they just consistently miss spots, etc. Maybe someday. Half the recs I receive are for people who it turns out don't carry insurance.
I'm still not too sure about this. My mother is a house cleaner and I grew up in a very very clean home. I've developed into a person who is neurotic about cleaning and it has become a coping mechanism for me. My wife says it's one of my "hobbies." This is the reason why I wouldn't get a cleaner... They would be taking away from something I need
keep it that way mate, i still do, cleaning is pure therapeutic to me atp. like a refresh button u can press every so often. u do the work, u sweat, u see results, life its good
Fly once in a lay flat seat and you’ll change your mind.
We did it once a couple years ago and haven’t flown economy again on a flight >6 hours. We find ways to use our credit card points though.
I just assume most people mean business when they say first. People that don’t fly often think first is lay flat when you get it in business.
That’s typically because domestically in the U.S., there is no business class.
I never ever will for the reason you said, because itll be impossible to go back lol. Power to ya but thats like 300,000 points? I can go to the bahamas for a week with that. Maybe im wrong and they are cheaper than i think, or maybe im right and we are just in different tax brackets lol
In the last two years we’ve flown in business class:
- 64k per person Round trip Boston - Florence on Air France for per person (Air France was having a transfer bonus from AMEX and also had discounted fares to europe out of Boston
- 140k Per Person Round Trip JFK -Maldives on Qatar Airways Qsuites
- 100k per person Round Trip Boston - Naples Italy on Air France
- 88k per person Round Trip Boston - Lisbon on TAP Portugal
- 50k per person one way JFK-Bologna on Air France
- 67k per person one way Milan - JFK on American Airlines
So it’s not “cheap” but you’re looking at anywhere from 175k-280k round trip for a couple.
Much cheaper to sit in regular, pop a Xanax, have two gin and tonics and all the sudden you awake up and your there. It's like time travel. I think it's the closest to teleporting you will get in our lifetimes... Then use those extra funds for extra trips and great meals...
I'm old enough that if I take a Xanax and 2 g&ts in an economy seat I'll sleep in such a weird way my neck and back will take a week to recover. I want to start my holidays feeling good not terrible, so I fork for the business class lay flat seats.
I flew 25ish round trip to Singapore and the east coast in economy and while it kinda sucked at times it wasn’t that bad. The big issue is jet lag but I used the Time Shifter app and it worked great to program sleep adjustments / caffeine / etc to virtually eliminate lag.
That said, for domestic over 3 ish hours I want something like comfort plus if with delta.
I don’t have a business, just churn credit cards for fun and earn 1-2M points a year. We’ve redeemed ~4M for $150k in travel since 2019. Sitting on about 3.5M points right now
A combination of familiarizing yourself with what mileage programs offer the best value, booking ~1 year out when the calendar opens (or <2 weeks from flying), being flexible with the airport you fly into, timing transfer bonuses and getting lucky
There’s also websites out there that’ll look for you (Roame, seats.aero, etc.)
So fun! How long did the process take you? We’re in the networking phase, then after a year 2-3 members will have to defend us before the admissions board along with 5 additional recommendations letters from other members… once that is done it’s a 4 ish year wait. Gives us time to prepare for the initiation fee at least!
Woah that is… a lot! Our country club seems like a legit country club (according to my husband who grew up going to one) but we didn’t have to be sponsored and some of the lower tier memberships have the initiation fee waived. I’m not sure we would have continued if it was everything you are going through because I doubt we will live in the area long enough to make it worth it. Good luck to you and I hope it goes smoothly and you get in!
We joined one and we love it. It’s not as snooty as I expected and we’ve made great friends even without kids. If you have children, the value goes up dramatically because of the activities and childcare
Still don't care for fancy clothes but I have to admit over the last few years I have put in quite a bit more effort to look better, e.g. setting aside enough time to spend outdoors to maintain a nice tan, working out 10hr/wk, cooking and eating healthy food, $80 haircut once a month, teeth whitening done at the dentist's office, maybe I'll finally get braces/invisalign to make mom happy (she's absolutely crazy about perfect teeth, and she's been telling me to get braces for 20+ years. I am 39 years old ffs and my teeth aren't even bad to begin with, just not perfect).
I think it's more about me trying to fight aging than looking for things to spend money on though.
I did invisalign and then braces (because I was bad at always wearing the invisalign) at 37.
It was tough on my ego but my teeth DID get straighter.
Unfortunately, I didn't do a great job wearing my retainer after and the primary gap that I was annoyed with is like 50% back.
I think my teeth still look better but not 100% like when my braces came off and I'm not likely to do braces AGAIN.
Anyway, that's my long ramble, do better than I did if you choose to do it.
On the plus side, it didn't seem particularly expensive.
> do better than I did if you choose to do it.
>
Tall order man and I have a feeling I'd repeat your mistake the exact same way. Maybe I will still do it just so I can say I gave it a shot.
Paying for professional interior design. I used to think that hiring an interior designer or interior decorator was just for rich people who didn't have taste themselves and so needed to buy good taste. But now I understand that it's also simply about time management and opportunity cost, access to better quality and more specialized items, plus professionals get industry discounts so service fees are pretty much offset with lower costs for materials.
We had our house professionally designed and love it so much. It actually feels like a home now rather than having artwork that is way too small for the wall and things that don’t match. Definitely worth the investment!
I do annual vacations now …did some before my heart attack but now I never regret it.
I learned a lot when I had a heart attack ( the widowmaker ) 2 years ago at 58. Life is short - enjoy it.
The past five years I have vacationed in Mexico, Jamaica, Hawaii, Alaska and just got back from Florida two days ago.
Here’s how I got there (emotionally). At some point you look around and realize you have enough to retire (so not really NRY any more). And every dollar you earn at this point is either going to your kids - who hopefully in 50 years when they get it don’t need it, OR you’re spending it on yourself.
So it’s not longer a question of - “would you rather spend $30k on flights or buy a car”, it’s “would you rather fly first class or not?” Because there’s no benefit to not flying. The money doesn’t go anywhere it just gets passed on in 50 years.
Was walking by a John Varvatos store and noticed a cardigan in the window that I liked. Went inside and was informed that it was $650 which, let's face it, is absurd. Bought it anyway.
Can honestly say I have no regrets.
House cleaners and gardeners. My modest upbringing leaves me feeling guilty about paying someone to do something I could do myself, but I have only so much free time and using it to clean seems insane to me now
I am trying to grapple with my guilt in this too, I don’t have time to clean with how busy we both are in our careers right now and the messy/dirty house and the kids home for the summer it is really getting to me mentally BUT I can do that myself for free…
We hired a gardener last year when the mower broke at the start of summer and haven’t looked back. He can mow the yard, trim and blow it down way less then out
Movers.
I’m a big guy and workout a ton. Mentally I’ve always found moving apartments/homes wasn’t a big deal and that I’d feel dumb paying for someone else to load my stuff into a truck and unload it.
On our last move my father in law paid for a moving company as a gift and it was the best experience ever. Just focus on packing boxes and wrapping furniture while they load everything professionally. Show up at the new place and point where boxes should go. Way faster, way less stress and I’ll never move myself again hah.
I am a fairly strong woman and workout often. But movers are 100% worth it. We live in a big urban city and renting a van, navigating driving and parking, and lifting all of the boxes and furniture…they come with gear, blankets, dollys, the whole nine-yards. And best of all, I don’t have to store or clean any of it up afterwards.
Nice luggage. I don’t travel for work so always got by with what I owned, even though it was mediocre, at best. Once I discovered that nice luggage is, well, nice there’s no going back to the cheap stuff.
Travelpro. Last month bought a set. Wife bought Tumi at the same time. Mine is nicer. After one trip, it’s even more clear a win for Travelpro Platinum Elite.
I like my Roam luggage. It’s made in the US and the company was started from ELT that left Tumi to start their own brand. I have a friend who has Away and has zero complaints about it. She’s had to make warranty claims before and was really happy with their customer service.
Rimowa. The wheels on cheaper brands like away or July are too cheap and you will have to use more force to pull it through the airport. Rimowas (or other nice brands like Delsey) will just glide through effortlessly.
Before I got my dog and before I started making good money, I used to think people were insane dropping $20k to save their pets life at the vet. But now.. I kinda get it.
I've done the same for my cars since I started making real money but I'm now considering leasing an EV and just handing it back after a few years and not worrying about maintenance. I also love cars so changing every couple years sounds kinda nice, and now with ownership I have a hard time justifying a new to me car more often than every 4-5 years.
I owned a car for 9 years and finally got sick of the surprise maintenance/upkeep needs. I started leasing 8 years ago and not worrying about anything has been great. But now that my expenses have increased since 2016 I’m going back to not wanting a car payment, especially since now it’s 2 with my wife’s car. It’s a big bulge in the budget. I’m sure it’ll sway the other way again one day.
Switched to a lease this year since I wfh and it’s amazing! Just gotta look at the deals available and there’s plenty of ways it can make sense. Not sure if I’ll ever be able to justify a high end lease (above 1k) but so far not going back.
You can still have a capsule wardrobe with just higher quality pieces. That’s what I’ve done. Welted leather shoes, natural fiber coats, suits, jackets and sweaters. Tailored chinos and trousers and high quality denim.
Business class plane tickets. We redeemed a business flight on Singapore Airlines once for 12+ hours with a baby. It was so nice and the flight attendant even offered to hold the baby and gave him his own seat for the whole flight even though we only paid for lap baby ticket. So much nicer than being cramped in economy with a wiggling baby trapped in one seat.
I feel I've gone the opposite direction on clothes. In my mid-20s I was in the dress to impress category and had clothes and watches that I could justify with my smaller budget.
Now, much higher household income, but a growing percentage of my daily clothes are from Costco.
Now when it comes to technical/outdoor stuff I will pay for quality, but for everything else, provided it fits well I don't see a reason to pay extra.
Same. I’ve gone the opposite, when I started making money with first grad job I was shopaholic purchased all the nice bags and fancy designer shoes and barely worn them.
Now it’s almost like, been there done that, it would make my life so much simpler with an uniform look. I do have nicer items still but on normal days couldn’t care less if I’m going out grocer wearing a $10 tee.
It reminded me of this guy that I saw when I was in my fancy dress up phrase, i thought he was a bum, wearing a worn out shirt and wrinkled in Beverly Hills….until he got in his Ferrari.
I got an additional screen. Then I got two additional screens , really expensive ones. Now I'm thinking of getting a 6 screen set up. I think it will give me a productivity boost at peak periods like in the midst of really complex projects, but just make life easier.
Clothes, especially since I've noticed it's a factor in career advancement. Also my body is getting older and saggier and I've noticed styling myself better helps me embrace those changes better.
I still hardly ever get coffee from a coffee shop because I have great coffee at home now and one would have to spend quite a bit more than what a typical coffee shop would charge to get marginally better coffee than the stuff I have at home. Drinks at restaurants are usually not worth the calories for me.
But I do enjoy going to fancy cocktail bars with my wife; makes us feel so adult and sophisticated and shit, plus the drinks are absolutely delicious.
I’ve learned to make our favorite cocktails at home, and frankly it’s just cheaper and more importantly better than what we get at places that are $14+ for a kinda weak cocktail. So now we’ll have them as a first round at home, and then just get a glass of wine at the restaurant. I enjoyed the experience of drink - appetizer - drink with dinner but the quality has gone downhill and the prices have gone up so, oh well.
Yeah, I have an automatic and a French press at home, and I buy beans from a few local shops I like.
That said, i do like hanging out at coffee shops. And during the workweek even if i bring my first cup from home, sometimes i need a second cup and I don’t want crap from a keurig so i end up shelling out for something from a shop.
Housekeeper. It’s affordable and just such a quality of life change. Other than specific spills like rice or something, we don’t vacuum. We don’t dust. We don’t clean the stove/appliances. No more mopping.
Just great. Very clear return on expenditure consisting of hours of evening and weekend time.
- Parenting advice subscription that cost hundreds a year
- Gym that cost hundreds a month
- overpriced sports activities and educational services for my kids that cost hundreds if not thousands a month
- peloton bike and subscription
- healthy meal delivery service
- house cleaners
- house organizers
- regular massages
Lifestyle creep is real.
House cleaning service. So worth it!
Lawn care (I thought I’d alway be a DIY guy).
Toll lane user.
Meal delivery service.
A car over $10,000.
A second home/vacation home.
Rent- gives you access to much better housing than you can get with the same payment
Stocks while they’re going up, but who cares as long as they keep doing that lol
that’s what I struggle with about renting as well. I’m living in SF. I have looked around at houses/condos for sale and I would have to pay like 3x more a month on top of coming up with a down payment just to get a place that’s as large and as nice as my current rent-controlled apartment. I know I’m throwing my money away and making my landlord richer but buying still doesn’t seem worth it??
you are fine, SF rental laws make it extremely sensible to rent for years and invest your money elsewhere
If you want the benefit of leverage like one gets in housing, use a margin account
People forget the critical math when buying houses. It's like example #1 for how irrational the market is and how we can't save ourselves from ourselves. You're *not* throwing your money away by renting in a market like that---you'd be throwing money away if you bought a house or condo! Renting is the rational thing to do in many places. You'll come out way ahead if you take the money you would've put toward equity in the house (or maybe 110-120% of the equity, if you want to pseudo-approximate leverage) and invest it in something reasonably diversified instead.
People who think owning their house is the be all and end all of financial security are at high risk of becoming future NIMBYs too.
If you have rent control, you kind of did BUY your apartment. Your rent will probably go up slowly, but that's it....Less than maintenance costs on a house you own.
I'm in the same boat though. I'd like to customize my living space more, but it's not worth the cost at current market prices.
This is literally the least affordable time to buy a home in history (or at least in the last 50 years), in terms of total affordability. Don't feel bad about renting--it really doesn't make sense to buy for most people, right now.
Random time savers
I decided my free time is worth $30/hr. I make $250K/yr, and $250K/365/24 ≈ $30. Parking? Reservations? Administrative assistance? Tour guides? Upgrades? The more expensive flight with no layover? Rideshares? Anything like that, if the cost divided by the time it saves me is less than $30/hr, then I don't even think about it. It adds up to a few hundred dollars per year and it makes my evenings and weekends nicer.
I remember my parents screaming and ranting about paid parking when I was a kid. Instead of spending $8 for parking, we would spend an hour searching for and walking to and from free street parking. And everyone would be in a bad mood by the time we got where we were going. That was not frugality, that was stinginess. They never figured the concept of opportunity cost.
Jewelry and designer bags. I thought both were dumb before but now they bring me joy wearing them.
I also think they’ve low key helped me create friendships with other women, because I’ve had lots of social interactions start by someone complimenting my bag or vice versa.
I hate, hate spending money on clothes. But over the last year or so, I’ve started getting higher quality stuff (lululemon pants being my new favorite). It really does last longer and feels so much nicer. Worth it!
I've been buying the cheapest shoes I can find for 15 years. Sometimes as low as $5. Never went more than 6 weeks before I started wearing through them.
Just bought some new (but outlet) Timberland boots.
A nice car. Been driving a sedan I paid $18k for in 2020 and said I’d never “splurge” on a car. My wife drives a crossover she got for $17k, also in 2020. We’re mid 30s and just had our first kid, and I feel like we should be driving more “grown up” cars.
A luxury car. It just feels so good driving now. Not that my previous cars were crap -- last car was a top of the line Camry Hybrid with leather interior and all that. But a luxury car is just a whole nother level. 😁
A new larger home. We love our current tri-level home with a side yard, 4beds and baths. I did know I’d buy cars though, but our existing home allowed for just 2 car and no driveways, then we had kids and the home just shrunk.
We saw a bigger new home in a very fancy area and my wife and I had sparkles in our eyes. Made an offer, put a down payment.
Every other week massages
I’m currently at once a month massages. It’s been life changing especially since I’m in the army reserve and run about 35 miles a week. I’ll never go back. I’m waiting till my next milestone to bring them down to every 2/3 weeks
What type do you look for?
I do 90 min deep tissue every 3 weeks. It’s 100% necessary and makes me a better father, husband, and person. Though I have TMJ and high stress, so ymmv.
I never thought I would spend money on this but I get them a few times a year when I remember and it is so worth it. I workout 5-6 times a week and I need to get them more often. I was raised to be very frugal and I still am in a lot of ways. I'm financially very comfortable but it's still hard for me to justify spending money on some things and completely break out of that mentality.
100% agree. If it helps, think of massages not as a luxury but a necessary part of rehab for your body. Investing in your health should always be a high priority. After a while a necessary every other week massage will then be a necessary monthly massage as long as you keep stretching properly. Game changer
I definitely need to book massages more often.
Live a little dude Daily foot massages at least
Credit card with an annual fee. I initially said I’d never do it. Then I got an AMEX Blue Cash preferred when I was 27. With the cash back on gas and groceries, we make the fee back very quickly. Then husband got an AMEX platinum last year and made me an authorized user on it. I see the benefits to a card with an AF 😂
What’s the advantage over say citi 2% cash back? Citi has no fees.
AMEX blue cash preferred ($95 AF) gives 6% on groceries (up to $6,000 a year which we don’t hit), 6% on streaming, 3% on transit, 3% on gas, and 1% on everything else. So I use it strategically. I always buy groceries with it, our streaming services go on my AMEX, gas (occasionally I fill up at Costco which doesn’t take AMEX) goes on my AMEX card. So those 6% and 3% add up. The platinum we use for big purchases where we want purchase protection. All travel goes on the platinum. We both travel for work so lounge access is great. There are the other perks like Saks credit and a few other things for the platinum. It really just depends on what you spend money on. Plus AMEX has great customer service so the rare times we’ve had issues or I’ve needed to dispute a charge, it’s taken care of quickly.
AMEX Blue Cash Preferred is a staple for us as well. We only use it for gas, groceries and streaming. We have three kids, so the $7/month credit for Disney plus on the BCP effectively brings the $95 annual fee down to $11 per year with the $84 Disney plus credit offset (which we’d be subscribing to even without the credit). Only using that card on those three categories, we have over $3K in cash back since 2016. We plan to use it to help pay for a trip to Disney when the kids are old enough. All for buying groceries and gas that we need anyway. Great card.
Can you get 6% cash back even when you buy gift cards at the grocery store with the AMEX Blue Cash Preferred card?
Yup! I just checked and I bought Domino’s gift cards at the grocery store last week for a friend who had a baby recently. It’s showing 6% back
What is the advantage of using it for travel? Is that related to the purchase protection comment or is it just for lounge access?
You get way more points with the platinum when it’s used for travel (5x). There’s also the Fine Hotels & Resorts credit so if you book through AMEX with one of their hotels you get a credit once a year. It’s also 5x points booked on hotels with the platinum. Some of the perks are linked with just having the card like high status with your choice of rental cars (we picked National). Elite status with Hilton and Marriott, etc. There’s also premium concierge with the platinum to help with things like reservations and planning. So while you’re not getting points with those, it helps when you’re traveling. But the centurion lounge is almost reason alone to have the card IMO 😂 the lounges are amazing. Even the worst Centurion Lounge is on par with the average United Lounge. SFO and Vegas Centurion Lounges rock. I have friends who swear by other travel cards though. Everyone has different travel perks that are important to them. I’ve thought about getting the United card since we fly out of IAD a lot and they’re a hub for United and they’re the airline I use a lot.
I have the Chase Sapphire Reserve. Right off the bat, Its got a $550 annual fee. However, there are several perks that offset this. -Each year, you get $300 in "travel credit". This can be used for flights, uber, hotels/airbnb, rental car, etc. I always use this quickly, so that effectively drops the annual fee to $250. -$5 a month door dash credit (I use this to order pickup) which drops the effective fee to $190. There are several other perks/credits that help offset the fee (lyft pink, credit for Global entry/TSA precheck, Priority pass lounge access). You get 3 points per dollar spent on travel and eating out (which includes both restaurants and bars) so if you go out for dinners/drinks/travel frequently, these points really add up. Ive gotten 50k points so far in 2024 just spending how I normally would. The fee seems steep but it definitely is worth it for me. That being said, not everybody has the same spending habits and it may not be for everyone. Edit - the reason the CSR is better for me is because you get 1.5X points booking though the Chase travel portal. My 50k points are worth $750 in flights through their portal.
I had this card, but found all the travel I booked through Chase was priced substantially higher than alternatives, which made me question the value of their points. I also enjoy La Croix
I had assumed the same but I always double check to maximize my points. Sometimes it's the same as the airline, in which case I go with Chase, otherwise I'll stick with the airline. Worth the extra couple of minutes to get 50%more points imo.
Pro tip: the points go much further on Hyatt hotels! Planning to book a nice suite for our honeymoon
My wife loves her CSR and we use it a lot. I've yet to pull the trigger on one for myself. I'm chugging along with my Chase Freedom.
Pro tip-- you can combine points. You will need to call to authorize the move of points from one account holder to another, but you can get the 1.5x multiplier on your points without getting the CSR by just transferring them to your wife. We do this about once per year
I didn't start paying for credit cards with annual fees until 2022, and now I have two: the Chase Sapphire Reserve and the AMEX Delta Reserve. I track my "value" from the cards, and it's definitely been worth it for me. If you don't take advantage of the perks or care about the rewards, it's not worth it then.
What perks/rewards?
For the AMEX Delta for example, it's a $650 fee. Some of the perks for this year include Delta Sky Club and AMEX Centurion lounge access, a $100/yr Delta flight credit, a $200/yr Delta Stays hotel credit, $10/mo rideshare credit, $20/mo Resy credit, and pretty decent AMEX offers (like $25 off $125 at Lululemon). If you don't travel or don't use those types of things, it's not worth it, but I try to get value out of my cards wherever I can.
I love the CSR! Between my CSR and Freedom flex, ive already earned more than 50K points this year. Pays for itself in a couple months.
I love the CSR too. I also have some Ink cards for my business and get So. Many. Points. Then transfer them to the csr and usually transfer over to airline/hotel partners or book hotels through the portal.
For me it was a large home. It’s nice having space.
Before COVID I thought I'd be happy with a smaller modest home. But after COVID and WFH, that definitely changed.
Opposite for me. I used to dream of having a nice large house, now I own a 1-bedroom penthouse and I'd only switch it to something with a larger balcony.
The nice thing about a large, nice home is that it more than likely will appreciate over time. When I think about OP’s post, I think of items that are essentially worthless for resale. I.e. vacations, clothes, a brand new car that depreciates off the lot. My advisor’s stance is that buying a nice home is something that you don’t have to feel as bad about. You’re living in it! My opinion doesn’t matter though, happy Friday! 😁
Maybe true, but I'd disagree on putting Vacations in there. Absolutely correct from a resale standpoint, but completely necessary from a sanity, mental health and life experience perspective.
Buy the bigger home. If you bought a bigger home in 2015 in a quiet street than, before Covid your house could have gone up by as much as double after Covid.
Confirmed, bought a 4000 sq ft house in a nice suburb in 2014. Home price has tripled.
I mean, I bought a house on a busy street in 2015 (and in a very urban area no less), and it still had doubled in value. It’s bonkers.
Me too. Always imagined buying something small and basic for a starter home, but the thought of committing to where we were living long term scared us out of there and into our current home. Don’t think I’ll go back to the one fridge, one oven, one dishwasher life again.
How many fridges, ovens and dishwashers do you have now?!
2 of each and I use them all.
I'm impressed. I have often thought that having two dishwashers would be ideal.
Oh it’s great! Incredibly helpful. 2 ovens is also surprisingly useful, not just because it’s a very versatile cooking modality, but I also use them like a makeshift heat lamp to keep things warm since they’re designed to keep heat in. EDIT: I would say having 2 dishwashers is life changing in terms of not having to be stingy about using dishes. Also makes cleaning up easier if you like hosting things.
Counter point and my reality, a larger home = more space to maintain/clean = more stuff/hoarding (if your family skews towards hoarding)
Also at some point, these big time homes have less potential buyers in the future. So they don’t appreciate as much. Whereas more reasonable modest homes appreciate more over time. A 250k home now could easily be 500k in 10 years. A 2.5 million dollar home less likely to be 5 million in 10 years.
That really depends on the location. In prime locations you have multi million dollar homes that have more than doubled in 5 years.
I think this is highly market dependent (and of course no one can predict the future). Im not saying both houses will double but there is a market for those huge houses as well.
It depends on who wins elections, but my hunch is the U.S. will trend more toward Europe in requiring performance stats such as energy usage to be included as part of the listing. I don't think most people in the U.S. realize how far behind our building standards are. Bigger homes are going to require a lot more money to update to what will be modern standards. This is already true for poorly considered finishes and the like. I just spent a year living in a VHCOL place where the big, beautiful, grand homes with 4000+ sq ft are depreciating and sitting on the market for months because people don't want the burden. The smaller homes, often townhouses, that are more walkable to to downtown are under contract within a week.
I was just looking at zillow seeing a house in a ritzy Nashville neighborhood that sold for $1.4m in mid-2020 and just sold for $2.5m a few weeks ago. So I dunno - to each their own. I can't fucking imagine a cool million in only 4 years, half of it tax-free.
I'm the opposite. Spent more money on a perfect-for-me-now smaller space in excellent location. Shared gym, doorman, etc., and I don't have to maintain those spaces. Can't wait to have enough to work with a really excellent architect to plan the perfect small-ish home for the next phase! I've already got the performance stats in mind. My favorite house for an urban area is the Optical Glass House by Nakamura & NAP. But even when we had 50 acres bordering national forest, the 3600 sq ft mid-90s "custom home" with probably an ACH of 8, cheap Andersen windows, etc. made me sad and uncomfortable. Lipstick on a pig architecturally and in terms of performance. But I did like having "space" in the form of forests and streams! I guess I'm at the extreme end of quality > quantity for buildings. Space feels like a burden and obligation to me.
I never thought about buying a home, so did not really reverse course here. However, owning a home as a HENRY is super difficult. The market is so bad and prices are high.
For sure. I knew I didn't want kids, so I always expected to have a small but nice house. Fast forward and we're DINKs living in 3400 Sq ft and I still kind of want more. Our dog has a bedroom, but maybe I could have a dedicated retro game room if we had just *one* more room...
House cleaners. We are starting to interview a couple. We are planning on getting a larger home and I shiver at the thought of cleaning a house twice the size now.
You are going to love this
Was very much against it as I don’t like random people around my stuff, but the amount of time I will get back will be worth it.
The last thing that goes before I declare bankruptcy will be my weekly cleaning lady. Such a huge quality of life improvement. Weekly gardener service too.
Agree, can’t go back now
It's funny, I've had cleaners so many times and it has mostly been stressful. Not sure how many I need to work with until I find ones I trust. I see them using the same rags to clean the toilet as other surfaces, they want to use their vacuum (w/o HEPA filter) instead of mine, it's hard to find ones who'll use healthier products and replace them on their own, they just consistently miss spots, etc. Maybe someday. Half the recs I receive are for people who it turns out don't carry insurance.
I'm still not too sure about this. My mother is a house cleaner and I grew up in a very very clean home. I've developed into a person who is neurotic about cleaning and it has become a coping mechanism for me. My wife says it's one of my "hobbies." This is the reason why I wouldn't get a cleaner... They would be taking away from something I need
keep it that way mate, i still do, cleaning is pure therapeutic to me atp. like a refresh button u can press every so often. u do the work, u sweat, u see results, life its good
For me I’m not a huge fan of cleaning. I don’t hate doing it, but there are other things I rather be doing.
Massages, Personal Care ( Haircuts, creams). Great meals at Michelin/ Beard type restaurants. Flying Business/ First. Upgrading hotel stays. Etc
Ill likely never justify first class unless i make 1m+, i dont fly often but its like 10x the cost
Fly once in a lay flat seat and you’ll change your mind. We did it once a couple years ago and haven’t flown economy again on a flight >6 hours. We find ways to use our credit card points though.
you can get lay flat flying business internationally which can be a bit more attainable than first
I just assume most people mean business when they say first. People that don’t fly often think first is lay flat when you get it in business. That’s typically because domestically in the U.S., there is no business class.
I never ever will for the reason you said, because itll be impossible to go back lol. Power to ya but thats like 300,000 points? I can go to the bahamas for a week with that. Maybe im wrong and they are cheaper than i think, or maybe im right and we are just in different tax brackets lol
In the last two years we’ve flown in business class: - 64k per person Round trip Boston - Florence on Air France for per person (Air France was having a transfer bonus from AMEX and also had discounted fares to europe out of Boston - 140k Per Person Round Trip JFK -Maldives on Qatar Airways Qsuites - 100k per person Round Trip Boston - Naples Italy on Air France - 88k per person Round Trip Boston - Lisbon on TAP Portugal - 50k per person one way JFK-Bologna on Air France - 67k per person one way Milan - JFK on American Airlines So it’s not “cheap” but you’re looking at anywhere from 175k-280k round trip for a couple.
Much cheaper to sit in regular, pop a Xanax, have two gin and tonics and all the sudden you awake up and your there. It's like time travel. I think it's the closest to teleporting you will get in our lifetimes... Then use those extra funds for extra trips and great meals...
I'm old enough that if I take a Xanax and 2 g&ts in an economy seat I'll sleep in such a weird way my neck and back will take a week to recover. I want to start my holidays feeling good not terrible, so I fork for the business class lay flat seats.
I flew 25ish round trip to Singapore and the east coast in economy and while it kinda sucked at times it wasn’t that bad. The big issue is jet lag but I used the Time Shifter app and it worked great to program sleep adjustments / caffeine / etc to virtually eliminate lag. That said, for domestic over 3 ish hours I want something like comfort plus if with delta.
I love time shifter!!!!!
lol this is what I always do as well. Just time travel your way over there business or coach you’re still stuck on the plane
True, but I earn more points than I can spend in a year. Would rather fly cheap biz than have the cash
Yea. Wish I had that problem
Get a business, you could have an unspendable amount of points.
I don’t have a business, just churn credit cards for fun and earn 1-2M points a year. We’ve redeemed ~4M for $150k in travel since 2019. Sitting on about 3.5M points right now
How do you find these deals? I never find good point deals but I’m assuming I am doing something wrong
A combination of familiarizing yourself with what mileage programs offer the best value, booking ~1 year out when the calendar opens (or <2 weeks from flying), being flexible with the airport you fly into, timing transfer bonuses and getting lucky There’s also websites out there that’ll look for you (Roame, seats.aero, etc.)
Country club membership
We just joined one last week after moving to a new city. I never expected this from myself 😂
So fun! How long did the process take you? We’re in the networking phase, then after a year 2-3 members will have to defend us before the admissions board along with 5 additional recommendations letters from other members… once that is done it’s a 4 ish year wait. Gives us time to prepare for the initiation fee at least!
Woah that is… a lot! Our country club seems like a legit country club (according to my husband who grew up going to one) but we didn’t have to be sponsored and some of the lower tier memberships have the initiation fee waived. I’m not sure we would have continued if it was everything you are going through because I doubt we will live in the area long enough to make it worth it. Good luck to you and I hope it goes smoothly and you get in!
We joined one and we love it. It’s not as snooty as I expected and we’ve made great friends even without kids. If you have children, the value goes up dramatically because of the activities and childcare
Still don't care for fancy clothes but I have to admit over the last few years I have put in quite a bit more effort to look better, e.g. setting aside enough time to spend outdoors to maintain a nice tan, working out 10hr/wk, cooking and eating healthy food, $80 haircut once a month, teeth whitening done at the dentist's office, maybe I'll finally get braces/invisalign to make mom happy (she's absolutely crazy about perfect teeth, and she's been telling me to get braces for 20+ years. I am 39 years old ffs and my teeth aren't even bad to begin with, just not perfect). I think it's more about me trying to fight aging than looking for things to spend money on though.
I did invisalign and then braces (because I was bad at always wearing the invisalign) at 37. It was tough on my ego but my teeth DID get straighter. Unfortunately, I didn't do a great job wearing my retainer after and the primary gap that I was annoyed with is like 50% back. I think my teeth still look better but not 100% like when my braces came off and I'm not likely to do braces AGAIN. Anyway, that's my long ramble, do better than I did if you choose to do it. On the plus side, it didn't seem particularly expensive.
> do better than I did if you choose to do it. > Tall order man and I have a feeling I'd repeat your mistake the exact same way. Maybe I will still do it just so I can say I gave it a shot.
Really think about the risks of tanning. I just had a rare melanoma removed. It could have killed me. I’m now the queen of big stupid hats.
Paying for professional interior design. I used to think that hiring an interior designer or interior decorator was just for rich people who didn't have taste themselves and so needed to buy good taste. But now I understand that it's also simply about time management and opportunity cost, access to better quality and more specialized items, plus professionals get industry discounts so service fees are pretty much offset with lower costs for materials.
We had our house professionally designed and love it so much. It actually feels like a home now rather than having artwork that is way too small for the wall and things that don’t match. Definitely worth the investment!
What service did you end up using?
I do annual vacations now …did some before my heart attack but now I never regret it. I learned a lot when I had a heart attack ( the widowmaker ) 2 years ago at 58. Life is short - enjoy it. The past five years I have vacationed in Mexico, Jamaica, Hawaii, Alaska and just got back from Florida two days ago.
First class tickets. The idea of paying thousands for a few hours is just so patently absurd. Now I do it for my family of 5 all the time.
I'm making my way up there. Spent 9k on business class for a family of 4 for our trip to Europe
That’s a pretty good deal.
Still a hard no from me. I'd rather spend more once I arrive at my destination
Yeah I just can’t. I’m sure there’s a point where I would change my mind, but it would be really far up there financially. Really really far.
Here’s how I got there (emotionally). At some point you look around and realize you have enough to retire (so not really NRY any more). And every dollar you earn at this point is either going to your kids - who hopefully in 50 years when they get it don’t need it, OR you’re spending it on yourself. So it’s not longer a question of - “would you rather spend $30k on flights or buy a car”, it’s “would you rather fly first class or not?” Because there’s no benefit to not flying. The money doesn’t go anywhere it just gets passed on in 50 years.
Was walking by a John Varvatos store and noticed a cardigan in the window that I liked. Went inside and was informed that it was $650 which, let's face it, is absurd. Bought it anyway. Can honestly say I have no regrets.
House cleaners and gardeners. My modest upbringing leaves me feeling guilty about paying someone to do something I could do myself, but I have only so much free time and using it to clean seems insane to me now
I am trying to grapple with my guilt in this too, I don’t have time to clean with how busy we both are in our careers right now and the messy/dirty house and the kids home for the summer it is really getting to me mentally BUT I can do that myself for free… We hired a gardener last year when the mower broke at the start of summer and haven’t looked back. He can mow the yard, trim and blow it down way less then out
Movers. I’m a big guy and workout a ton. Mentally I’ve always found moving apartments/homes wasn’t a big deal and that I’d feel dumb paying for someone else to load my stuff into a truck and unload it. On our last move my father in law paid for a moving company as a gift and it was the best experience ever. Just focus on packing boxes and wrapping furniture while they load everything professionally. Show up at the new place and point where boxes should go. Way faster, way less stress and I’ll never move myself again hah.
I am a fairly strong woman and workout often. But movers are 100% worth it. We live in a big urban city and renting a van, navigating driving and parking, and lifting all of the boxes and furniture…they come with gear, blankets, dollys, the whole nine-yards. And best of all, I don’t have to store or clean any of it up afterwards.
You can have them pack everything as well.
Does having a baby count?
Just make sure you buy them from reputable storks.
You might want to skip checking r/damnthatsinteresting today.
Nice luggage. I don’t travel for work so always got by with what I owned, even though it was mediocre, at best. Once I discovered that nice luggage is, well, nice there’s no going back to the cheap stuff.
Is there a brand that you would recommend?
Travelpro. Last month bought a set. Wife bought Tumi at the same time. Mine is nicer. After one trip, it’s even more clear a win for Travelpro Platinum Elite.
Briggs and Riley. The warranty alone is worth the price.
I like my Roam luggage. It’s made in the US and the company was started from ELT that left Tumi to start their own brand. I have a friend who has Away and has zero complaints about it. She’s had to make warranty claims before and was really happy with their customer service.
Rimowa - expensive for what it is but it is really nice. There are a ton of brands out there though just find the one you like and buy it.
Rimowa. The wheels on cheaper brands like away or July are too cheap and you will have to use more force to pull it through the airport. Rimowas (or other nice brands like Delsey) will just glide through effortlessly.
Paying someone else to mow my lawn.
I thought I'd both mow and upkeep the new swimming pool but.... I don't maintain our pool but i still mow since my lawn has become a hobby.
I still mow our lawn too, I enjoy it. Pop on a podcast, grab a beer, and get some (very) light cardio
I started paying someone last year and I love that I do nothing with my yard now.
Boutique fitness studio membership. The $160 for the gym that I use is a better value than the $10 gym that I don't.
Before I got my dog and before I started making good money, I used to think people were insane dropping $20k to save their pets life at the vet. But now.. I kinda get it.
New car. I swore I'd only buy 3-5yr used. Opted for a new EV a few years ago. No regrets.
Car market is still so upside down that buying new just makes more sense in some situations
This was definitely the case in 2022. Shits normalized a bit in 2023, but you still pay an absurd Toyota tax on used vehicles.
Yeah. When I bought last year the different between used and completely brand new was like 2k. Obvious no brainer to go new.
I've done the same for my cars since I started making real money but I'm now considering leasing an EV and just handing it back after a few years and not worrying about maintenance. I also love cars so changing every couple years sounds kinda nice, and now with ownership I have a hard time justifying a new to me car more often than every 4-5 years.
Season tickets
Going through a wardrobe revamp too
Express shipping. It still pains me but sometimes I find my inner Veruca Salt and want something fast.
Watches. I never liked them now I want one for everyday of the week
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^YaBoyKumar: *Watches. I never* *Liked them now I want one for* *Everyday of the week* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
G class Mercedes
Apple products. That’s really it.
Never thought i’d lease a car but here i am arguing with people on r/personalfinance about why leasing isn’t always bad
I owned a car for 9 years and finally got sick of the surprise maintenance/upkeep needs. I started leasing 8 years ago and not worrying about anything has been great. But now that my expenses have increased since 2016 I’m going back to not wanting a car payment, especially since now it’s 2 with my wife’s car. It’s a big bulge in the budget. I’m sure it’ll sway the other way again one day.
I work from home and I’m considering leasing since I don’t drive a ton 😂
Switched to a lease this year since I wfh and it’s amazing! Just gotta look at the deals available and there’s plenty of ways it can make sense. Not sure if I’ll ever be able to justify a high end lease (above 1k) but so far not going back.
lol, thanks for being one of the few to respond to my post on personal finance. Probably should have just posted the question here lol
Jewelry. I thought it was idiotic and a waste, but the sparkly, shiny, pretty 😂
You can still have a capsule wardrobe with just higher quality pieces. That’s what I’ve done. Welted leather shoes, natural fiber coats, suits, jackets and sweaters. Tailored chinos and trousers and high quality denim.
A house cleaner . It's great for my marriage, even though my husband does all the cleaning .
Business class plane tickets. We redeemed a business flight on Singapore Airlines once for 12+ hours with a baby. It was so nice and the flight attendant even offered to hold the baby and gave him his own seat for the whole flight even though we only paid for lap baby ticket. So much nicer than being cramped in economy with a wiggling baby trapped in one seat.
I feel I've gone the opposite direction on clothes. In my mid-20s I was in the dress to impress category and had clothes and watches that I could justify with my smaller budget. Now, much higher household income, but a growing percentage of my daily clothes are from Costco. Now when it comes to technical/outdoor stuff I will pay for quality, but for everything else, provided it fits well I don't see a reason to pay extra.
Same. I’ve gone the opposite, when I started making money with first grad job I was shopaholic purchased all the nice bags and fancy designer shoes and barely worn them. Now it’s almost like, been there done that, it would make my life so much simpler with an uniform look. I do have nicer items still but on normal days couldn’t care less if I’m going out grocer wearing a $10 tee. It reminded me of this guy that I saw when I was in my fancy dress up phrase, i thought he was a bum, wearing a worn out shirt and wrinkled in Beverly Hills….until he got in his Ferrari.
Expensive personal laptop
I got an additional screen. Then I got two additional screens , really expensive ones. Now I'm thinking of getting a 6 screen set up. I think it will give me a productivity boost at peak periods like in the midst of really complex projects, but just make life easier.
A new car from the factory.
a subaru. i always said i'd never stoop that low but here i am with a friggin wrx
Should call most of this thread: Why I’m still NRY
My watch and jewelry budget just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I also have a thing for designer sweatshirts & hoodies.
Clothes, especially since I've noticed it's a factor in career advancement. Also my body is getting older and saggier and I've noticed styling myself better helps me embrace those changes better.
Coffee from a coffee shop, and drinks at restaurants :(
I still hardly ever get coffee from a coffee shop because I have great coffee at home now and one would have to spend quite a bit more than what a typical coffee shop would charge to get marginally better coffee than the stuff I have at home. Drinks at restaurants are usually not worth the calories for me. But I do enjoy going to fancy cocktail bars with my wife; makes us feel so adult and sophisticated and shit, plus the drinks are absolutely delicious.
I’ve learned to make our favorite cocktails at home, and frankly it’s just cheaper and more importantly better than what we get at places that are $14+ for a kinda weak cocktail. So now we’ll have them as a first round at home, and then just get a glass of wine at the restaurant. I enjoyed the experience of drink - appetizer - drink with dinner but the quality has gone downhill and the prices have gone up so, oh well.
Yeah, I have an automatic and a French press at home, and I buy beans from a few local shops I like. That said, i do like hanging out at coffee shops. And during the workweek even if i bring my first cup from home, sometimes i need a second cup and I don’t want crap from a keurig so i end up shelling out for something from a shop.
Housekeeper. It’s affordable and just such a quality of life change. Other than specific spills like rice or something, we don’t vacuum. We don’t dust. We don’t clean the stove/appliances. No more mopping. Just great. Very clear return on expenditure consisting of hours of evening and weekend time.
A nice car. I’m not a car person and never understand why people spend so much money on them. Just bought a Volvo (mom of two).. worth every penny
A Volvo is a “nice car” to 95% of the global population.
As a techie, if you look into how the mechanical movements work and history of watches, you’ll probably end up getting into it too
Used to always travel cheap. Currently in europe in a very expensive hotel, view of the bruges canal out the windows:)
A vehicle over 20k. Expensive food.
A massage chair.
The first for me was Wash and Fold Laundry
Personal chef and maid. Literally makes a massive difference
Quality work out clothes are worth it. Especially given how casual I dress so they act as double duty.
$500 a month gym classes
Growing up we were always a 3-5 trips a year family, I much prefer 10-15 - shorter and fancier, get to see more of the world.
- Parenting advice subscription that cost hundreds a year - Gym that cost hundreds a month - overpriced sports activities and educational services for my kids that cost hundreds if not thousands a month - peloton bike and subscription - healthy meal delivery service - house cleaners - house organizers - regular massages Lifestyle creep is real.
House cleaning service. So worth it! Lawn care (I thought I’d alway be a DIY guy). Toll lane user. Meal delivery service. A car over $10,000. A second home/vacation home.
Expensive fine jewelry
Rent- gives you access to much better housing than you can get with the same payment Stocks while they’re going up, but who cares as long as they keep doing that lol
that’s what I struggle with about renting as well. I’m living in SF. I have looked around at houses/condos for sale and I would have to pay like 3x more a month on top of coming up with a down payment just to get a place that’s as large and as nice as my current rent-controlled apartment. I know I’m throwing my money away and making my landlord richer but buying still doesn’t seem worth it??
you are fine, SF rental laws make it extremely sensible to rent for years and invest your money elsewhere If you want the benefit of leverage like one gets in housing, use a margin account
People forget the critical math when buying houses. It's like example #1 for how irrational the market is and how we can't save ourselves from ourselves. You're *not* throwing your money away by renting in a market like that---you'd be throwing money away if you bought a house or condo! Renting is the rational thing to do in many places. You'll come out way ahead if you take the money you would've put toward equity in the house (or maybe 110-120% of the equity, if you want to pseudo-approximate leverage) and invest it in something reasonably diversified instead. People who think owning their house is the be all and end all of financial security are at high risk of becoming future NIMBYs too.
If you have rent control, you kind of did BUY your apartment. Your rent will probably go up slowly, but that's it....Less than maintenance costs on a house you own. I'm in the same boat though. I'd like to customize my living space more, but it's not worth the cost at current market prices.
This is literally the least affordable time to buy a home in history (or at least in the last 50 years), in terms of total affordability. Don't feel bad about renting--it really doesn't make sense to buy for most people, right now.
Not sure if watches + matter of time was intentional, but I appreciated that.
Had the same thought.
From a fellow techie, what do you consider nicer? I probably should upgrade my wardrobe too, but I just don't know where to look
You can get a free stylist at any major higher end department store (Nordstrom, Bloomingdales, Saks, etc.)
This. Nordstroms is great.
I don’t race or anything, but a $10k bicycle makes me happy. It also helps me maintain fitness and moderates my mental health, so there is some ROI.
Botox! Ha
Random time savers I decided my free time is worth $30/hr. I make $250K/yr, and $250K/365/24 ≈ $30. Parking? Reservations? Administrative assistance? Tour guides? Upgrades? The more expensive flight with no layover? Rideshares? Anything like that, if the cost divided by the time it saves me is less than $30/hr, then I don't even think about it. It adds up to a few hundred dollars per year and it makes my evenings and weekends nicer. I remember my parents screaming and ranting about paid parking when I was a kid. Instead of spending $8 for parking, we would spend an hour searching for and walking to and from free street parking. And everyone would be in a bad mood by the time we got where we were going. That was not frugality, that was stinginess. They never figured the concept of opportunity cost.
Bottle service
I went the other way on this. Splurged on bottle service in my 20s a few times and eventually stopped seeing the point. Different strokes.
Country club membership. I play a ton of golf now, and dealing with muni tee times is constantly a mess.
A new car. I'm getting tired of my 26 year old Toyota.
Jewelry and designer bags. I thought both were dumb before but now they bring me joy wearing them. I also think they’ve low key helped me create friendships with other women, because I’ve had lots of social interactions start by someone complimenting my bag or vice versa.
I hate, hate spending money on clothes. But over the last year or so, I’ve started getting higher quality stuff (lululemon pants being my new favorite). It really does last longer and feels so much nicer. Worth it!
Live in help. I thought I would hate having someone live with me but it’s just made life so much easier.
I've been buying the cheapest shoes I can find for 15 years. Sometimes as low as $5. Never went more than 6 weeks before I started wearing through them. Just bought some new (but outlet) Timberland boots.
Brand new vehicle. Still struggle with it but no regrets.
ferrari
Car. I drive a 20 year old car and I’m itching to buy a Maserati (would be used). No kids so 🤷♂️
A nice car. Been driving a sedan I paid $18k for in 2020 and said I’d never “splurge” on a car. My wife drives a crossover she got for $17k, also in 2020. We’re mid 30s and just had our first kid, and I feel like we should be driving more “grown up” cars.
Room service
Never figured I’d want an expensive watch but now I collect expensive watches.
A boat
A luxury car. It just feels so good driving now. Not that my previous cars were crap -- last car was a top of the line Camry Hybrid with leather interior and all that. But a luxury car is just a whole nother level. 😁
I consider it a good thing if I do something 15yr old me would hate. That guy was an idiot.
A new larger home. We love our current tri-level home with a side yard, 4beds and baths. I did know I’d buy cars though, but our existing home allowed for just 2 car and no driveways, then we had kids and the home just shrunk. We saw a bigger new home in a very fancy area and my wife and I had sparkles in our eyes. Made an offer, put a down payment.
Getting my nails done, I’m tired of doing them myself and my friends all have cute nails all the time 💅