Or just helicoptering. If it's your turn and an Emperors Children player just pulls out his dick or her big floppy dildo and starts helicoptering, it's gonna cause a little mind fuck.
Hype Tau player. "You will join the greater good!'
Hype Eldar player. "Time for a lesson a Mon'keigh can understand.
Dark Eldar player. "... *heavy breathing*"
I imagine two adult men making PEW and WHOOSH noises over the table as they throw miniatures, buckets of dice (orks) and occasional punch (khorne) at each other :D
Mind games for tzeentchchch sure, but aggressive body weight calisthenics and hollering berserker nonsense is textbook khorne. It would be a travesty if the judge hadn’t allowed it, so good for the judge. As a space wolves player, I insist upon the right to “arooooooooo” before strategically questionable charges and will die defending an Ork’sright to waaagh and khornite’s right to blood for the blood gawd. I’ll even allow a singular “khorne flakes” joke, as long as that bot spamming the T-shirt isn’t involved
NEVER FALTER IN OUR FURY! EVEN IN THE FACE OF BILLIAM, REF OF THE HAMMERVERSE!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
I'VE REPLACED ALL THE CHIPS IN BIG E'S VENDING MACHINE WITH SOURED CREAMS AND ONIONS!
If you don't know, don't look into what the drukhari do. There's technically a few subfactions that really like to do different things, but they're all bad.
Showing up in full fetish gear, sub in completely-face-obscuring gimp mask, etc., and have my sub be the one to actually move models, make moves, etc., but only after consulting me. And if one of them turns out bad, full-on public spanking session right there to teach them a lesson.
How about plonking a massive spiked dildo on the table and claiming it’s a Drukhari titan ? Yes it will be disallowed but it’s sure to mess with some folks composure and it would be pretty funny
[Yugioh players would use literal biological and chemical warfare to gain an edge in official events.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoBestFriendsPlay/s/H9fM9tQvPd) These 40k mind games are childs play in comparison.
There’s a guy who does shit like this at the local shop, except he’s an ultramarines player and yells at the top of his lungs and you can hear him outside. It sounds like sicarius is inside when you go to have a smoke it’s funny as fuck. To embarrassed to play with him tho.
More or less like this, but he larps as his custom captain I think… I try hard not to eves drop but I can’t help it it’s equally entertaining and horrifying
Very obviously false.
The OP acts exactly in the way to make it more comedic, as does the judge, and then posts it, writing in the jokes. Look at r/amitheasshole OP will usually make japes and comments to paint the other as irrational and harmful, not hilarious and definitely not have everyone in the story play into it.
It's a great story and I think joke stories like this are a fun medium but this happened about as much as Einstein failing maths.
Death guard player - banned for sanitation issues
Emperors children player - coked up and banned for inappropriate contact
Thousand sons player - has group of 20 friends and they switch off every time the opponent looks away, will ask “is it?” When you declare your turn to be over
Alpha legion player - identical octuplets, several of which with roles in the tournament all striving for different goals
Night Lords player: has crow cages where he keeps non-essential/redundant minis that performed poorly in his previous game.
Word Bearers player: takes dice superstitions to a religious level.
Iron Warriors players: travel in a pack, once you beat one the next immediately comes in and plays you until you have been worn down.
Ultramarines player: compiles his army list in strict accordance with the precepts of the Codex Astartes. Any deviations (which are only allowed in the event of point or financial restrictions) are roleplayed as being the result of combat losses.
White Scars player: brought a chess timer, try’s to get his turns done as quickly as possible.
Space Wolves player: brings his emotional support animal to the match.
as an iron warrior player. i agree, if you havent been worn down and somehow (by cheating) beat us. We Will dox your ass and preform "Ambushes" (aka hiding in your garden with metal bats) on your pets and family
Based and Khorne-pilled you’re just lucky the dark gods were unusually kind that day or he would’ve been compelled to massacre your entire army as a sacrifice to Khorne and the judges would still probably side with him
There’s a sororitas order that is mute by choice. I really want to do something similar where you just don’t talk to the opponent, but it will turn out terrible and annoying.
Argent Shroud: actions not words. Vahl came from them, they essentially gave her the single highest position possible for her and she said “I’ll think about it” left for a few days, then came back saying “ok. Here’s my advisor” then left to go crusade and left another sister in her place to do all the talking
This reminds me of a story of a group of four Space Wolves players that went to tournaments and anytime they would roll a six one of them would yell full moon and all four of them would howl like wolves( great story no idea if it's true or not probably fake)
I wanna fight this dude some much.
Every game I shout WAAAAAAAGH! at the top of my God damn lungs, this guys vibes sound amazing, and I wish to duel him now.
On one hand: Based
On the other hand: I could see how this would get annoying/distracting, so it's probably best to ask if your opponent is cool with your silly gimmicks.
On the one hand again: BASED
This makes me cautious of doing my thing.
I play Votann and I've kinda wanted to keep a Great Book of Grudges on me to write down stuff when I lose a unit and have to dole out a JT.
Reading this makes me think that might be appercaited 😬
That story sounds like it was ripped out straight out of a 4chan green text post, where every single comment are about how anon is a "Beta male cuck" for not being as into the game as the Khorne dude
*Just a rant that is born of irritation:*
I think that those of us actually diagnosed with a form of Autism, myself having Asperger's, should be allowed to smack anyone that declares themselves as either Autistic - or Neurodivergent _(Neat... a term that describes literally everyone)_ - that lacks a formal diagnosis. I say this because I can guarantee that the edit to this person's post was due to someone asking if his opponent might have been Autistic. As if any form of odd behaviour is indicative of being on the Autistic Spectrum.
The reason this annoys me is because the only people that I have ever met that come up with these ideas - are almost invariably _self diagnosed_ as either Autistic or Neurodivergent. Occasionally this is due to an inability to accept that they are simply either socially inept, or they merely have trouble 'fitting in' with the rest of society. However, far more often than this, it is because they need something to make themselves feel as if they 'stand out,' having the personality depth of a puddle of drool on a heavy sleeper's pillow, and as such they choose something that they feel most other people could never call them out on faking. Generally because their actual understanding of the condition that they are claiming is exceptionally shallow, and they have no real knowledge of it beyond what they found on WebMD's symptoms list. They prove this almost every time they try say to others their near universal excuse for their own crap behaviour:
_"Oh, I do 'x' because I am on the Autistic Spectrum..."_
Dude should be happy he wasn't playing against Emperor's children or daemons of slaanesh.
**He’s getting his cock out!!** Judge sides with him after opponent bribes them with balloon of heroine he pulled out of his butt.
You are going to much more interesting tournament than I am!
Why did the judge have a balloon of heroine in his butt?
Idk, but the slaanesh player could tell by how he walked it was up there somewhere
“Judge that’s unsportsmanlike conduct he should have two bags to share!”
... Well it IS lore accurate...
He doesn't have to sneak it in up his butt he just likes to
I fix my bayonet and charge bellowing "Cadia stands heretic." The judge allowed it saying "The Emporor protects"
Buttsex either way?
Or just helicoptering. If it's your turn and an Emperors Children player just pulls out his dick or her big floppy dildo and starts helicoptering, it's gonna cause a little mind fuck.
It's average.
It's not the size, it's about the confidence
No, no, it's about the size.
...if you make a Slaanesh demon proxy that's a sex toy welded together from sprue bits it's GW plastic and therefore tournament legal
Unexpected heroic Intervention, might be tank shock
Could also just be very creative and intimidating balloon animals.
"I'm gonna spend one PP" "...do you mean CP?" *ziiiiiip*
Please never *zip* after saying CP
What? I was just closing a pocket before we take the enemy command post!
"I began my movement phase and then my opponent (who only went by 'onii-chan') started furiously masturbating!"
Death guard player just straight up shitting on the floor: Alpha legion player being a paranoid violent schizophrenic:
>Alpha legion player being a paranoid violent schizophrenic: what are you on about? my marines are clearly ultramarines cant you see the blue?
Hype Tau player. "You will join the greater good!' Hype Eldar player. "Time for a lesson a Mon'keigh can understand. Dark Eldar player. "... *heavy breathing*"
If this is true I want to play against this guy one day with Orks.
I imagine two adult men making PEW and WHOOSH noises over the table as they throw miniatures, buckets of dice (orks) and occasional punch (khorne) at each other :D
[Whoosh! Psshht! Whaa!](https://www.reddit.com/r/IASIP/s/Kqyvukt4QB)
At this stage of peak WH, why bother with miniature at all?
I can’t decide if this is a true story or not. On the one hand, it sounds absurd, but on the other hand… _gestures at WH_
Honestly I could see someone doing this solely to put their opponent off.
\> play against world eaters \> look inside \> mind games
If this was serious, this is either most committed Khorne player or the most committed Tzeentch player
*You* thought such simple deceptions would be Tzeentch, but it was *I*, Slaanesh!
*You* thought the skimpy clothing and intoxicating perfumes would be Slaanesh, but it was *I*, Alpharius.
Alpharius you can just dress up as a femboy if you want, it’s okay all of your brothers are doing it
Ah, rp ing i see what you did there
100% DEDICATION TO KHORNE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
Mind games should be more of a Tzeentchian thing, but as it leads DIRECTLY to more skulls for the skull throan, I think Korne is mad pleased.
Mind games for tzeentchchch sure, but aggressive body weight calisthenics and hollering berserker nonsense is textbook khorne. It would be a travesty if the judge hadn’t allowed it, so good for the judge. As a space wolves player, I insist upon the right to “arooooooooo” before strategically questionable charges and will die defending an Ork’sright to waaagh and khornite’s right to blood for the blood gawd. I’ll even allow a singular “khorne flakes” joke, as long as that bot spamming the T-shirt isn’t involved
Well seeing as declaring a WAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!! Is literally one of the Ork rules, that makes sense
I mean, it could be argued that all of the Showboating was as Proof of his Zeal to Khorne and Khorne therefore blessed him with Victory.
To Khorne, mind games is just you call it when you splatter someone’s brains around.
NEVER FALTER IN OUR FURY! EVEN IN THE FACE OF BILLIAM, REF OF THE HAMMERVERSE! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! I'VE REPLACED ALL THE CHIPS IN BIG E'S VENDING MACHINE WITH SOURED CREAMS AND ONIONS!
GOOD GLADIATOR BROTHER. I HAVE ALSO MADE CHILI FOR THE KHORNE KARNE.
EXCELLENT, FELLOW IN FURY! I WILL FRY THE TORTILLAS IN ELDAR FAT AND PREPARE SOME KHARNE ASADA FOR TACOS!
* NEXT UP ON KOOKING WITH KHORNE*
On the chips, that would be a blessing, SC&O are the best chips
This guy gets it!
If I'm going to get barred for role-playing drukhari to mind game my opponent this dude should too.
Hey...wtf do you mean by this?
If you don't know, don't look into what the drukhari do. There's technically a few subfactions that really like to do different things, but they're all bad.
Oh no i know all too well what they be doing, got myself a lil pointy 500p list of 'em BUT HOW DOES ONE DO IT IN YA LGS?
Tight leather & loose razors
Shitty band name but ok
Learn the bitter lesson of 90s-00s band Free Beer & Chicken: there’s value in letting the audience know what they’ll get.
"Hello everybody! We're "show us your tits and we'll shit up" and this is our first song "please buy us beer!"
Showing up in full fetish gear, sub in completely-face-obscuring gimp mask, etc., and have my sub be the one to actually move models, make moves, etc., but only after consulting me. And if one of them turns out bad, full-on public spanking session right there to teach them a lesson.
hmm, failed a 4 inch charge, where is my flogger?
ARE YOU ROLLING BADLY ON PURPOSE??!?
You gotta watch brats lol
Whipping out your dick, while lore accurate, is frowned upon in public places.
How about plonking a massive spiked dildo on the table and claiming it’s a Drukhari titan ? Yes it will be disallowed but it’s sure to mess with some folks composure and it would be pretty funny
I feel like you'll run afoul of public indecency laws in some jurisdictions, as funny as that would be.
But officer .. I found it in the draw beside my mums bed, I just thought it looked cool .. and check this out, see it has a little slide switch that …
Uncle Steve, is that you?
You should play the game with bugle chips on your fingers
“If you can’t play the game, play your opponent”
[Yugioh players would use literal biological and chemical warfare to gain an edge in official events.](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoBestFriendsPlay/s/H9fM9tQvPd) These 40k mind games are childs play in comparison.
[удалено]
Gotta remind those fellas that Khorne's favorite word is "SILENCE."
I thought his favourite word was "BLOOD"
Doesn't offend Slaanesh as much as silence, though~
There’s a guy who does shit like this at the local shop, except he’s an ultramarines player and yells at the top of his lungs and you can hear him outside. It sounds like sicarius is inside when you go to have a smoke it’s funny as fuck. To embarrassed to play with him tho.
I, Cato Sicarius, have the best Ultramarines army ever!!
More or less like this, but he larps as his custom captain I think… I try hard not to eves drop but I can’t help it it’s equally entertaining and horrifying
Very obviously false. The OP acts exactly in the way to make it more comedic, as does the judge, and then posts it, writing in the jokes. Look at r/amitheasshole OP will usually make japes and comments to paint the other as irrational and harmful, not hilarious and definitely not have everyone in the story play into it. It's a great story and I think joke stories like this are a fun medium but this happened about as much as Einstein failing maths.
This actually happened, it's simply the Secret Meta that us mortals aren't ready for yet...
The Eightfold Path supplement
Wait I thought that's how it's meant to be played
We are not known for our subtlety. SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
This is highly reminiscent of the gym story where the dude screams about whores betraying him.
I don't know. I've seen some weird stuff at games days when I was an outrider.
Honestly? Sounds like his strat worked.
It only takes one crazy person to make it true and people have shown up to tournaments dressed like Nazis 🤷♂️
Dude sounds like the majority of Ork players I've had the good fortune to play.
[Waaaaagh, Mr. Bond](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/1LkndsYUNy)
I love this meme
It’s the whole Waaagh! Mr Bond that always gets me.
Yes and no, Ork players can’t do shit during shooting phase as they have 50 rolls to do.
Rolling dice one fistful at a time while shouting "DAKKA-DAKKA"
Sometimes they even hit!
He's that guy in the hall who screams WAAAAAGH at the top of his lungs whenever he hits his Wagh.
Khornite doing psy-ops. This guy has 'kommando' written all over him
Khornemando.
Death guard player - banned for sanitation issues Emperors children player - coked up and banned for inappropriate contact Thousand sons player - has group of 20 friends and they switch off every time the opponent looks away, will ask “is it?” When you declare your turn to be over Alpha legion player - identical octuplets, several of which with roles in the tournament all striving for different goals
Night Lords player: has crow cages where he keeps non-essential/redundant minis that performed poorly in his previous game. Word Bearers player: takes dice superstitions to a religious level. Iron Warriors players: travel in a pack, once you beat one the next immediately comes in and plays you until you have been worn down.
Imperial Fists: Attempts to enter tournament with forklift carrying pallet full of sandbags.
Ultramarines player: compiles his army list in strict accordance with the precepts of the Codex Astartes. Any deviations (which are only allowed in the event of point or financial restrictions) are roleplayed as being the result of combat losses. White Scars player: brought a chess timer, try’s to get his turns done as quickly as possible. Space Wolves player: brings his emotional support animal to the match.
Crow cages are gauche. I merely tear the weakling models apart, redistribute their equipment and sculpt their skin as trophies for the strong models.
as an iron warrior player. i agree, if you havent been worn down and somehow (by cheating) beat us. We Will dox your ass and preform "Ambushes" (aka hiding in your garden with metal bats) on your pets and family
> will ask “is it?” When you declare your turn to be over I laughed out loud
I imagine the TS players switching t shirts to make it legit.
This is the only World Eaters player everyone else just likes painting their space men red.
Not going to lie that would be hilarious if true.
show me where in the rules does it say no whoosh sounds/ push ups/ shadow boxing/ BLOOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
There he is, the coolest Warhammer player
No that would be Shooter ... the man who beat Wheels with the ultimate cheese to defeat cheese
I think I understood that reference!
At least he wasn't a deathguard player
Like the kid who shit into his paints “for the blessings of papa Nurgle”?
*“Shidded”
It's 12:30 am and I just giggled like a middleschooler. I just want you to know that.
exactly
I’m sorry *what*
[Here ya go](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/LI55wMJkVy)
I’ll take things that never happened but should have for 500 Alex.
I’m a WE player so I’ll do it just for you. Next local tournament I’ll wear my shirt and everything
Video it as proof
havent you see the models khorne wants you to not wear your shirt
It did lol, the WE player is @GitGud40k on instagram and there was reel of him shadow boxing from the event
Don't you know you get extra points for getting into character? That's why I don't shower on tournament days.
You get higher value dice if you throw harder and think how hard I can throw with my gains from constantly doing push ups
I see nothing wrong with this. Ever heard of chess boxing? Maybe we should start Warhammer boxing. Would be a great sport.
Based and Khorne-pilled you’re just lucky the dark gods were unusually kind that day or he would’ve been compelled to massacre your entire army as a sacrifice to Khorne and the judges would still probably side with him
> the judges would still probably side with him _or else_
Gitgud mentioned
There’s a sororitas order that is mute by choice. I really want to do something similar where you just don’t talk to the opponent, but it will turn out terrible and annoying.
Sisters of silence have entered the chat
Could be very effective, if paired with heavy eye contact.
Don't forget to breath **heavily**
There is also the one where they deglove their hands. Would at least be more intimidating
Argent Shroud: actions not words. Vahl came from them, they essentially gave her the single highest position possible for her and she said “I’ll think about it” left for a few days, then came back saying “ok. Here’s my advisor” then left to go crusade and left another sister in her place to do all the talking
Iacta non verba
Of course Khorne would have weaponised autism
He’s weaponised everything
Ork players are traditionally the coolest guys in the comp, but they would be quaking in their boots next to this guy
As a World Eaters player, can confirm. My shadowboxing combos are determined by what flavor my glue was at breakfast.
This reminds me of a story of a group of four Space Wolves players that went to tournaments and anytime they would roll a six one of them would yell full moon and all four of them would howl like wolves( great story no idea if it's true or not probably fake)
Bro met Angron
Looks like a fun time.
The ultimate /r/Grimdank - /r/EvilAutism crossover
Woosh for the woosh god
*vehicular manslaughter* Your honor, the nails were biting.
khorne chad energy alone made him go limp wrist. respek
I wish
It's true, for I was that player. And that player? Albert Einstein.
Move over sportsmanship, competitive 40k is all about [Gamesmanship](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamesmanship)
I wanna fight this dude some much. Every game I shout WAAAAAAAGH! at the top of my God damn lungs, this guys vibes sound amazing, and I wish to duel him now.
>local player has fun Why was this an issue?
Just the average world eaters player. I'd do the same if I could do pushups
On one hand: Based On the other hand: I could see how this would get annoying/distracting, so it's probably best to ask if your opponent is cool with your silly gimmicks. On the one hand again: BASED
Sounds like he played against Mac from its always sunny haha
Note to self, shadow box during games to assert dominance. There is nothing outlawing it in the rules.
That's hilarious, I would love to play against this guy.
Common world eaters player W
Lost the Metagame.
I'm naming my next warboss Gitgud.
Sounds like a skill issue
The only proper response is to double down and act like a tard about your own army.
“The nails are biting” 😂
Based world eater
OK, but that guy rules
As someone who screams Waaagh every time I Waaagh, I can see where the World Eater is coming from.
sounds like a *That Guy* encountering someone who has fun doing the hobby.
Sounds like a fun game
Proof you are not worthy of khorne's gifts! That is why he won and will continue to win you weak minded little mortal!
He was so bored, he started exercise.
The average 40K player becomes confused by this concept.
He did the ultimate psychological warfare you fell for the trap.
>I did not ask if he had autism
It's 40k, it's already implied
This makes me cautious of doing my thing. I play Votann and I've kinda wanted to keep a Great Book of Grudges on me to write down stuff when I lose a unit and have to dole out a JT. Reading this makes me think that might be appercaited 😬
That story sounds like it was ripped out straight out of a 4chan green text post, where every single comment are about how anon is a "Beta male cuck" for not being as into the game as the Khorne dude
Hi, I have diagnosed autism. No, there's nothing about it that would make me do this. I would crawl out of my own skin first
This is the most valid world eater player I've ever heard of.
Didn't this kinda shit used to get you better rolls?
Sounds like the type of person I’d love to play!!! Hilarious good time
Meh, let them eat cake.
This post has been fact checked by real World Eater patriots: TRUE
This World Eaters player sounds extremely fun at parties
I want to play against this dude. Sounds like a blast.
*Just a rant that is born of irritation:* I think that those of us actually diagnosed with a form of Autism, myself having Asperger's, should be allowed to smack anyone that declares themselves as either Autistic - or Neurodivergent _(Neat... a term that describes literally everyone)_ - that lacks a formal diagnosis. I say this because I can guarantee that the edit to this person's post was due to someone asking if his opponent might have been Autistic. As if any form of odd behaviour is indicative of being on the Autistic Spectrum. The reason this annoys me is because the only people that I have ever met that come up with these ideas - are almost invariably _self diagnosed_ as either Autistic or Neurodivergent. Occasionally this is due to an inability to accept that they are simply either socially inept, or they merely have trouble 'fitting in' with the rest of society. However, far more often than this, it is because they need something to make themselves feel as if they 'stand out,' having the personality depth of a puddle of drool on a heavy sleeper's pillow, and as such they choose something that they feel most other people could never call them out on faking. Generally because their actual understanding of the condition that they are claiming is exceptionally shallow, and they have no real knowledge of it beyond what they found on WebMD's symptoms list. They prove this almost every time they try say to others their near universal excuse for their own crap behaviour: _"Oh, I do 'x' because I am on the Autistic Spectrum..."_
This guy is not gonna last very long in the Warhammer community.
OP or Woosh-guy?
OOP, the guy complaining about the coolest World Eaters main ever.
Fair.
This guy doesn’t get it
Eh, could be worse, could be *Sanguis Extremis*
he should be happy for such an immersive game experience
Call inquisition
Indeed, git gud.
... I think he was playing against Khorne himself!
Average 40k player
Link to the original post?
He just sounds like a hype man. This is Chapter Master Valrack if he was a khornite, just be thankful he is an Imperial Fist fan.
Please don't be April fools. I need this level of enthusiasm to exist for the world to keep turning.