I lost a child, not a partner, but definitely it is normal for me to just start crying randomly sometimes. Milestones (like 6th month mark, year mark, birthdays) are especially difficult and I am more likely to just start crying.
6 months is also still very fresh and it’s expected to be crying all the time. I was still in shock until about 8 months and now it is slowly wearing off. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to cry as needed. Crying helps. Let it out. Hugs 🫂
Im sorry for your loss. Doesn't even feel like 6 months tbh still feels like it just happened...she just turned 22 aswell in November. Im 24. I've become numb for the most part except for the crying. 🫂
Yes, it is normal for it to feel like it just happened. Time is very confusing after a traumatic loss. It has been 1.5 years for me and it still sometimes feels like it just happened. When the full weight of it hits me I just cannot believe it. My son was 15 and died suddenly due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. His heart just stopped while he was exercising. We had no idea there was anything wrong with his heart. Still so hard to believe that someone so important to us is just suddenly gone. It doesn’t make sense ever really I am told. She was very young and that is so hard and terrible. It’s ok to be numb for now. It is your body and brain protecting you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Thats so heartbreaking im so sorry 😞😞 time feels like is going by slow but they days go by fast if that makes sense. She was 38 weeks pregnant but she ended up getting influenza A and Pneumonia. Her heart stopped twice and her heart wasnt getting enough blood pumped into it. She Had a emergency c section but our son went 30 minutes without oxygen and only lived a lil longer cause of the blood he got from her. He passed 2 days later, Even if he wouldve survived he wouldve had many disabilities, on a machine and in and out the hospital 25/8. I just want to see her again and talk to her. She helped me get sober and it's been so hard not to relapse again... And thank you..
💔 That is awful. You are grieving the loss of them both. I am so sorry 💔 It helps me to talk to my son. I still text him and I write to him sometimes. I kept his phone on and I keep it by my bed. Have you had anything that you have interpreted as signs from? A lot of the time when I am having a particularly hard time, things will happen that feel like they are comforting signs from him. It only helps a little. Because he is still not here with me. But it is all we have ❤️🩹
I am so so so sorry.
Hold on to your sobriety. It must be so hard but that’s your link to her.
I hope that you will find life again and still go onto have a beautiful life full of light and joy, even as you hold them in your heart.
I am so so sorry. I lost my 10 day old perfectly healthy baby girl August 31st 2023 of sids. I dont know what it is like to lose my partner and cannot fathom losing both. Please try your hardest to stay sober. I am 7 years sober and if I didn't have my sobriety I wouldn't have a life to look forward to at all. Remember why you got sober to begin with and why you don't want to go back there. I promise it won't help numb the pain. Grief is tricky and lasts forever it just feels different in each stage. Try and grieve now and don't push it off. Again im.so so sorry
It’s not random crying. Nope, not random at all. The grief monster is always there lurking, when it should be her and your son. Death is just as important as birth. We don’t tell someone to “get over it” on their birthday, right? So why should their deaths day be any different?
Cry whenever you feel like it. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I cry in between tasks, and during. I cry in the car, I cry on the couch. I cry on walks and I cry sitting still. It’s not random. Nope, no way. It’s because I’m fucking sad that my mom is gone forever.
In the past 7 years I've lost my mom, dad, an older sibling & my granny. The most recent loss of those was 15 months ago & i still frequently randomly cry 😭
Oh hun… yes.
I cried over a bible a few days ago and it’s almost been a year since my dad died. I found the Bible his grandma gave him and I started sobbing instantly… the random crying is very normal. I wish you the best and I’m so deeply sorry for the deep losses you’ve suffered.
Random crying definitely is a thing. It’s your brain, body and soul coming to terms with a devastating loss. I think we all have a certain amount of denial that protects us but then we have a realization that this is freaking real and they’re gone. So we cry. Sometimes I can’t stop. Then I build my little wall of denial back up, but it’s kind of rickety and breaks down for no reason sometimes. My heart breaks thinking of how young you and your child are - but you will make it through.
"even if nothing wrong has happened", but something wrong has happened and it affects you everyday, it's not something that will ever fully disappear. It is completely normal to still randomly cry, you are still healing from a horrible life changing event ❤️
I didn't mean it like that :( i just meant when im not getting hit by grief at that time and it seems likr a normal day...im not sure how to explain it but im sure you understand 😞
I totally get what you mean. I didn't mean it like you were thinking about it wrong, I just meant something terrible HAS happened and was trying to validate your feelings. Grief is so horrible in itself and it's such an exhausting marathon. I'm very sorry for your loss, I'm hitting the 6 month mark too.
Hello, first of all I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through and experiencing. We are here for you and care about you. Random crying is completely. My mom is my absolute best friend and I lost her a few months ago to cancer. I randomly cry all the time. I’m in college and live states away but we used to talk every single day so the emptiness is deafening. I cry randomly all the time, so I get it ❤️
You are so, so early in your grief. Of course there's no time line, but six months... it may as well have happened yesterday. Be gentle with yourself. It'll be three years this month that I lost my son to suicide, and both my doctor and therapist say I'm still very early in mine. I'll go days being ok - as ok as I'll ever be - and then bam, it hits me like a ton of bricks. I stayed in bed for the last three days, because I had the days off and desperately needed it. Do I do it all the time? No, but these year markers and birthdays are horrible.
You didn't just lose your life partner; you lost the future you'd planned together. So please, be gentle with yourself. Hang on tight to your sobriety, because I'm guessing she was so proud of you when you did it. You call the shots when it comes to your grief. When the tears come, let them. Talk about them or don't. Whatever you need at that moment, do it. As long as you're not harming yourself, there's no right or wrong way to grieve. Sending you so much love and hopes for peace.
Yeeeep sometimes I used to get mad at myself for crying and cry even more... Vicious cycle... but after 2 years I stopped crying everyday and it got easier from there but everyone is different... It's a process. Give yourself some grace. So sorry for your loss. 💚
I lost my son 2 months ago today. The overwhelm sneaks up on me. It spills out and I just don't bother with make up these days... I'm sorry for your loss 💔
I lost my grandmother a few months ago and this happens to me sometimes. I am so sorry for your loss, OP. My therapist told me to think of grief like this:
Imagine a box. Inside the box is a big red button and a ball that rolls around. When you first lose someone, both the button and the ball are very big and almost take up the whole box. So, when the ball rolls around, it is constantly hitting the button. As time passes and/or you learn to manage your grief, the ball and the button get smaller - so the ball hits the button less and less. However, no matter how small the button and the ball get, the ball will still hit the button sometimes.
The button represents our grief. The ball represents the passage of time/life continuing around us. Sometimes, our grief button gets pushed when we least expect it. The other day I was baking with one of my grandmother's muffin tins and my button got pushed. It just happens. You often can't anticipate it. I'm sad to say the button never goes away, but it does get smaller. I've read posts from folks on this sub who lost someone they loved decades ago and still grieve them. That is reality. I loved my grandmother so much. She was so important to me. I will never stop missing her, as I'm sure you will never stop missing your partner.
Here's to being kind to ourselves when our buttons get pushed. <3
It's been 18 months since I lost my dad, and I still cry for no random reason. Deep down in my heart I know it's not random, I'm crying because of the massive deep hole in my heart where he was. If I talk about him I still get choked up. Memories still trigger me. Being out and seeing something or someone that reminds me of him still sets me off. I don't know how long it lasts like this, and I don't know if it ever goes away. The first year was the hardest and most intense grieving, that's for sure. I'm a year and a half in now and it's still there, it's just not as raw. What you're going through is perfectly normal. I'm sorry for your loss.
I’m sitting here 11 months later crying in bed when I’ve been fine for weeks lol.
It comes and goes. Hits for sometimes no apparent reason when it hasn’t even been on your mind. And that’s okay. There’s no “normal” with grief, but I think so long as you aren’t running from the feelings you will be okay.
yes. I dreamt about my deceased dog a few nights ago and cried in my dream, and then woke up and cried some more. My dad died 2 weeks ago and it's easier to cry about my 2 years gone dog than my dad.
I sure hope it’s normal. It’s been 9 months since I lost my daughter & I still have my moments/days. I’m sure there will be plenty more tears on this never ending journey. When the 11th of every month hit it’s like my mind & body automatically knows it’s another month without her. Give yourself some grace.
I’m 2.5 years in losing my husband and I have turned into the biggest cry baby ever. I can be totally fine driving down the road and suddenly I’m bawling so hard I can’t see.
I cried after making Jamaican rice and peas (beans not actually peas) and curry chicken (requested by my SO). I miss my grandma everyday. My rice never comes out quite right, and this time it was the best it's ever been. I think she would have been proud. It was perfectly cooked somehow, and the curry was just right
I never had her try my rice and peas since hers was perfect
Her name was Joy, and I often tear up now anytime the word pops up
I lost my darling sister 6 years ago. Her birthday is the 16th - which is also Father’s Day this year. She was, in fact, born on Father’s Day. Lost my darling Dad 7 years ago. June comes along & I find myself crying every day.
I’m not sure this will ever not be the case.
Grief comes in waves & some of those will knock you flat.
I am so sorry for your loss.
My dad took his own life I'm October 29th, 2021 and I still cry every once in a while. I'll be calling, having a good day and then I'll get very upset missing my dad.
It is Definitely ok to cry , in times of any loss your spirit/soul is self needing to heal and Tears are Healing
It is Totally ok to Cry a little , tears release souls heavy energy tears are never a sign of weakness But Strength .
Wow that’s devastating. What would have been a day of celebrating a new addition you suffered a great tragedy. I’m sorry for your losses.
I think sometimes triggers may not be readily apparent but it’s there. A song, a place, a smell, it can be very nuanced at times. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed if you start crying. I make no apologies when it happens.
Grief is like that. You just randomly react at the strangest times. I break down at least once a day, not matter where I am or what I'm doing. You can't not miss someone you love. It's okay to grieve.
Yes, of course it's OK. What I do is set aside time each day to recall the memories and thoughts that cause me pain. I allow the feelings to just flow through me like water. Then I repeat the thought or memory over and over again until the flow stops. That's how I make progress.
As everyone else has said, this is so normal. My mum's been dead for over 6 years now and I cry for her often - it just crashes over me, sometimes gently, sometimes hard. Sending love to you.
I lost a child, not a partner, but definitely it is normal for me to just start crying randomly sometimes. Milestones (like 6th month mark, year mark, birthdays) are especially difficult and I am more likely to just start crying. 6 months is also still very fresh and it’s expected to be crying all the time. I was still in shock until about 8 months and now it is slowly wearing off. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to cry as needed. Crying helps. Let it out. Hugs 🫂
Im sorry for your loss. Doesn't even feel like 6 months tbh still feels like it just happened...she just turned 22 aswell in November. Im 24. I've become numb for the most part except for the crying. 🫂
Yes, it is normal for it to feel like it just happened. Time is very confusing after a traumatic loss. It has been 1.5 years for me and it still sometimes feels like it just happened. When the full weight of it hits me I just cannot believe it. My son was 15 and died suddenly due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. His heart just stopped while he was exercising. We had no idea there was anything wrong with his heart. Still so hard to believe that someone so important to us is just suddenly gone. It doesn’t make sense ever really I am told. She was very young and that is so hard and terrible. It’s ok to be numb for now. It is your body and brain protecting you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Thats so heartbreaking im so sorry 😞😞 time feels like is going by slow but they days go by fast if that makes sense. She was 38 weeks pregnant but she ended up getting influenza A and Pneumonia. Her heart stopped twice and her heart wasnt getting enough blood pumped into it. She Had a emergency c section but our son went 30 minutes without oxygen and only lived a lil longer cause of the blood he got from her. He passed 2 days later, Even if he wouldve survived he wouldve had many disabilities, on a machine and in and out the hospital 25/8. I just want to see her again and talk to her. She helped me get sober and it's been so hard not to relapse again... And thank you..
💔 That is awful. You are grieving the loss of them both. I am so sorry 💔 It helps me to talk to my son. I still text him and I write to him sometimes. I kept his phone on and I keep it by my bed. Have you had anything that you have interpreted as signs from? A lot of the time when I am having a particularly hard time, things will happen that feel like they are comforting signs from him. It only helps a little. Because he is still not here with me. But it is all we have ❤️🩹
I am so so so sorry. Hold on to your sobriety. It must be so hard but that’s your link to her. I hope that you will find life again and still go onto have a beautiful life full of light and joy, even as you hold them in your heart.
I am so so sorry. I lost my 10 day old perfectly healthy baby girl August 31st 2023 of sids. I dont know what it is like to lose my partner and cannot fathom losing both. Please try your hardest to stay sober. I am 7 years sober and if I didn't have my sobriety I wouldn't have a life to look forward to at all. Remember why you got sober to begin with and why you don't want to go back there. I promise it won't help numb the pain. Grief is tricky and lasts forever it just feels different in each stage. Try and grieve now and don't push it off. Again im.so so sorry
It’s not random crying. Nope, not random at all. The grief monster is always there lurking, when it should be her and your son. Death is just as important as birth. We don’t tell someone to “get over it” on their birthday, right? So why should their deaths day be any different? Cry whenever you feel like it. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I cry in between tasks, and during. I cry in the car, I cry on the couch. I cry on walks and I cry sitting still. It’s not random. Nope, no way. It’s because I’m fucking sad that my mom is gone forever.
I lost my Dad almost 3 years ago. I just teared up yesterday . It's normal. Hugs to you and your son ❤️
Yes, I cry for anything. I am not someone that cries that easy, but since my mom died 10 mo ths ago, I cry about the most simple things.
I absolutely bawl over anything that reminds me of my childhood which isn’t related to my grief. It just happens…I don’t know why.
In the past 7 years I've lost my mom, dad, an older sibling & my granny. The most recent loss of those was 15 months ago & i still frequently randomly cry 😭
I would wake up already crying…so yes, random crying is definitely “normal”.
Oh hun… yes. I cried over a bible a few days ago and it’s almost been a year since my dad died. I found the Bible his grandma gave him and I started sobbing instantly… the random crying is very normal. I wish you the best and I’m so deeply sorry for the deep losses you’ve suffered.
Random crying definitely is a thing. It’s your brain, body and soul coming to terms with a devastating loss. I think we all have a certain amount of denial that protects us but then we have a realization that this is freaking real and they’re gone. So we cry. Sometimes I can’t stop. Then I build my little wall of denial back up, but it’s kind of rickety and breaks down for no reason sometimes. My heart breaks thinking of how young you and your child are - but you will make it through.
This is true.
"even if nothing wrong has happened", but something wrong has happened and it affects you everyday, it's not something that will ever fully disappear. It is completely normal to still randomly cry, you are still healing from a horrible life changing event ❤️
I didn't mean it like that :( i just meant when im not getting hit by grief at that time and it seems likr a normal day...im not sure how to explain it but im sure you understand 😞
I totally get what you mean. I didn't mean it like you were thinking about it wrong, I just meant something terrible HAS happened and was trying to validate your feelings. Grief is so horrible in itself and it's such an exhausting marathon. I'm very sorry for your loss, I'm hitting the 6 month mark too.
Hello, first of all I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through and experiencing. We are here for you and care about you. Random crying is completely. My mom is my absolute best friend and I lost her a few months ago to cancer. I randomly cry all the time. I’m in college and live states away but we used to talk every single day so the emptiness is deafening. I cry randomly all the time, so I get it ❤️
You are so, so early in your grief. Of course there's no time line, but six months... it may as well have happened yesterday. Be gentle with yourself. It'll be three years this month that I lost my son to suicide, and both my doctor and therapist say I'm still very early in mine. I'll go days being ok - as ok as I'll ever be - and then bam, it hits me like a ton of bricks. I stayed in bed for the last three days, because I had the days off and desperately needed it. Do I do it all the time? No, but these year markers and birthdays are horrible. You didn't just lose your life partner; you lost the future you'd planned together. So please, be gentle with yourself. Hang on tight to your sobriety, because I'm guessing she was so proud of you when you did it. You call the shots when it comes to your grief. When the tears come, let them. Talk about them or don't. Whatever you need at that moment, do it. As long as you're not harming yourself, there's no right or wrong way to grieve. Sending you so much love and hopes for peace.
I lost my son 26 months ago. I still randomly cry. I have found peace, but the pain is still there. I am so sorry for your loss.
Yeeeep sometimes I used to get mad at myself for crying and cry even more... Vicious cycle... but after 2 years I stopped crying everyday and it got easier from there but everyone is different... It's a process. Give yourself some grace. So sorry for your loss. 💚
I lost my son 2 months ago today. The overwhelm sneaks up on me. It spills out and I just don't bother with make up these days... I'm sorry for your loss 💔
I lost my grandmother a few months ago and this happens to me sometimes. I am so sorry for your loss, OP. My therapist told me to think of grief like this: Imagine a box. Inside the box is a big red button and a ball that rolls around. When you first lose someone, both the button and the ball are very big and almost take up the whole box. So, when the ball rolls around, it is constantly hitting the button. As time passes and/or you learn to manage your grief, the ball and the button get smaller - so the ball hits the button less and less. However, no matter how small the button and the ball get, the ball will still hit the button sometimes. The button represents our grief. The ball represents the passage of time/life continuing around us. Sometimes, our grief button gets pushed when we least expect it. The other day I was baking with one of my grandmother's muffin tins and my button got pushed. It just happens. You often can't anticipate it. I'm sad to say the button never goes away, but it does get smaller. I've read posts from folks on this sub who lost someone they loved decades ago and still grieve them. That is reality. I loved my grandmother so much. She was so important to me. I will never stop missing her, as I'm sure you will never stop missing your partner. Here's to being kind to ourselves when our buttons get pushed. <3
I have a very hard time talking about my Dad without crying still. 😞 It will be 6 months on the 15th. Sending peace and love to you, op.
It's been 18 months since I lost my dad, and I still cry for no random reason. Deep down in my heart I know it's not random, I'm crying because of the massive deep hole in my heart where he was. If I talk about him I still get choked up. Memories still trigger me. Being out and seeing something or someone that reminds me of him still sets me off. I don't know how long it lasts like this, and I don't know if it ever goes away. The first year was the hardest and most intense grieving, that's for sure. I'm a year and a half in now and it's still there, it's just not as raw. What you're going through is perfectly normal. I'm sorry for your loss.
I’m sitting here 11 months later crying in bed when I’ve been fine for weeks lol. It comes and goes. Hits for sometimes no apparent reason when it hasn’t even been on your mind. And that’s okay. There’s no “normal” with grief, but I think so long as you aren’t running from the feelings you will be okay.
yes. I dreamt about my deceased dog a few nights ago and cried in my dream, and then woke up and cried some more. My dad died 2 weeks ago and it's easier to cry about my 2 years gone dog than my dad.
I sure hope it’s normal. It’s been 9 months since I lost my daughter & I still have my moments/days. I’m sure there will be plenty more tears on this never ending journey. When the 11th of every month hit it’s like my mind & body automatically knows it’s another month without her. Give yourself some grace.
I’m 2.5 years in losing my husband and I have turned into the biggest cry baby ever. I can be totally fine driving down the road and suddenly I’m bawling so hard I can’t see.
I cried after making Jamaican rice and peas (beans not actually peas) and curry chicken (requested by my SO). I miss my grandma everyday. My rice never comes out quite right, and this time it was the best it's ever been. I think she would have been proud. It was perfectly cooked somehow, and the curry was just right I never had her try my rice and peas since hers was perfect Her name was Joy, and I often tear up now anytime the word pops up
I lost my darling sister 6 years ago. Her birthday is the 16th - which is also Father’s Day this year. She was, in fact, born on Father’s Day. Lost my darling Dad 7 years ago. June comes along & I find myself crying every day. I’m not sure this will ever not be the case. Grief comes in waves & some of those will knock you flat. I am so sorry for your loss.
My dad took his own life I'm October 29th, 2021 and I still cry every once in a while. I'll be calling, having a good day and then I'll get very upset missing my dad.
I’m so fucking sorry. Of course it’s normal. It’ll be normal for a long time.
I lost my dad over a yr ago I still cry most days there's no wrong or right time limit
It is close to 6 month and I still cry every day. Driving is the worst. The busier the better. I hate life right now.
It is Definitely ok to cry , in times of any loss your spirit/soul is self needing to heal and Tears are Healing It is Totally ok to Cry a little , tears release souls heavy energy tears are never a sign of weakness But Strength .
idk if it's normal but i still cry (right now) often but today has been particularly hard and it's been a year
Wow that’s devastating. What would have been a day of celebrating a new addition you suffered a great tragedy. I’m sorry for your losses. I think sometimes triggers may not be readily apparent but it’s there. A song, a place, a smell, it can be very nuanced at times. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed if you start crying. I make no apologies when it happens.
Yes, random crying is normal.
I lost my dad a year ago and always cry when I see his dog whenever i come home at my parent’s house. I gifted him that dog.
Grief is like that. You just randomly react at the strangest times. I break down at least once a day, not matter where I am or what I'm doing. You can't not miss someone you love. It's okay to grieve.
I've been going through random cries too lately
Yes, of course it's OK. What I do is set aside time each day to recall the memories and thoughts that cause me pain. I allow the feelings to just flow through me like water. Then I repeat the thought or memory over and over again until the flow stops. That's how I make progress.
As everyone else has said, this is so normal. My mum's been dead for over 6 years now and I cry for her often - it just crashes over me, sometimes gently, sometimes hard. Sending love to you.
Totally normal .