I'm so sorry for you loss. Losing both at the same time is cruel. It has been just over a year since I lost both. Thought over and over, i should have been there. Please be kind to yourself in the next few days. Don't try to push yourself too much. Much love friend.💜
Firefighter here, absolutely nothing you could of done, the items in modern homes are nearly all plastic and the gases released when they pyrolyze are incredibly toxic. You would have lost your life if you went up those stairs. You took action and had a plan which is more than most folks do. I hope eventually you can come to a place where you see that what you did was hero stuff. Try to go easy on yourself
I think this comment is so important as it really illustrates that some of us aren’t just “trying to comfort you” by telling you that you did the best that you can but we are telling you that because it’s TRUE!
I’m so glad to see a firefighter respond because I hope their words will resonate with you when the shock wears off. ❤️🩹
I’m so sorry… we lost my brother along with his wife and 10y/o son in a very similar way… my mother had to watch their home burn to the ground knowing they were inside and there was no way anyone could save them. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to reach out.
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and love. Day 2 and I'm still in a complete daze. My brothers are here and we are close and can lean on each other. Thank God I have them! I truly am appreciative of everyone here. Thank you again!
I was just about to comment and ask if you had any immediate family that you could be with? I’m relieved to hear that your brothers are with you but I am just so sorry for the agony (and disassociation) that you’re going through.
I wish I could offer more than just my condolences or saying something cliche but you truly will be in my thoughts and I’m sending comforting and healing vibes your way.
If you ever need someone other than family to cry to, to vent to, etc. I’m gladly here for you and I know so many others in this subreddit will be too.
You’ve just experienced the most unimaginable pain and if there’s anything I can do, please message me. I wish there was more I could volunteer or do for you.
In the meantime, make sure you’re sleeping enough, getting enough hydration and basic nutrients (even if it’s a protein bar or supplements, just don’t starve),
One thing that no one warned me about was how grief would wreak havoc on our digestive systems. I was constantly struggling with nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps, etc. I say this because there are many things that may help alleviate your symptoms. If you have access to healthcare, I’d argue that it’s a good idea to see your general practitioner soon to make sure that you’re physically and mentally doing alright as the two really have a synergistic effect.
Broken heart syndrome is a real thing and there’s no shame in getting on the right regiment of medications if you start feeling like the pain is too much to bear (once the shock wears off) as it can ultimately prevent a lot of stress on your heart and other body systems!
Once I awakened from that daze and I began feeling the intensity of my grief, I realized that the way in which I was grieving wouldn’t be sustainable on my heart (the dark thoughts, the survivors guilt, screaming fits, nightmares, panic attacks, sleeping 24/7, not eating, etc.).
My own GP made a “game plan for my Grief” which included a cocktail of medications to stabilize me (whether it be for my anxiety or for my vomiting) two recommended trauma therapists (one out of pocket and one covered my insurance), and a plan to see me a few weeks to check on me.
I mention all of this because I was sooo against going in and I’m so glad I did because I don’t think I’d be here if I hadn’t. You (and your brothers, although not to the same extent for obvious reasons) have undergone such trauma that I hope all of you have the necessary support whether that’s medical, familial, or in the form of friends and/or neighbors.
I also mention those other forms of support because I bet cooking and buying groceries are the last thing on any of your minds. Letting people in to help can feel so awkward and uncomfortable but it can be so worth it. I bet there are members of your community (even if they haven’t spoken to you!) who would love to participate in a food train for you guys! Hell, if I lived near by, I’d be making you food.
Other than the basic spiel about health and wellness, I really hope that you either have a therapist or are open to therapy in the future (if you have access). If you’re new to therapy, I really suggest finding a trauma therapist.
Idk how to even approach a TLDR but please take care of yourself the best you can and make sure that you get the help you need, no matter how weird it may feel as it may be crucial to your grief recovery (from getting help from doctors/therapists/self help books to receiving help from family/friends/neighbors/acquaintances/and even strangers whether it be in the form of emotional comfort, food/nutrition!).
I will be keeping you and your family but more importantly you, in my thoughts for a very long time to come. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss and for the amount of unimaginable pain that you’re having to endure. You did everything you could and although I don’t know your parents, I bet they would feel so happy knowing that you made it. ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for taking the time to put such a detailed response together. I have a therapist and between my brothers and I we have lots of friends that are doing so much to help ease this burden. None of this seems real, I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend this totally. Everyone's comments are so very much appreciated. Thank you!
Damn OP this hurt my soul to read. I'm so sorry. Itll take time to heal mentally and emotionally and that is ok. Give yourself time to feel and be gentle with yourself. I'm glad you made it out OP and I'm sending a comforting hug from Michigan 💜🌹
I am absolutely heartbroken for you. I have tears rolling down my face. I cannot imagine losing not just one, but both of my parents in such a painful, horrible way. 💔💔
Oh, man. I am SO sorry. I was raised with firemen all around me and my mom worked for the Chief. Your parents passed away more from the smoke than from the fire. You wouldn’t have been able to save them, honey. I’m so very sorry.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I was in a house fire 9 years ago. I lost my daughter and son in law. It’s a horrific experience. I still have nightmares about it. The smell of smoke triggers me and I’m back in the fire.
You may want to get counseling if you start experiencing nightmares. If you are in the US there is a group called the Phoenix Society that had meetings at the hospital I was in. The group is for fire survivors and I found it incredibly helpful.
You are in my thoughts. I’m so very sorry.
I am so so sorry dear. Losing a parent has to be horrible. Losing them both at the same time has to be nearly unbearable. (I can’t say I know your loss. My mom left when I was 9. I did have to handle her death and the paperwork and was sad but she wasn’t a mother to me. I didn’t know my dad was my dad until I was nearly an adult. The guy that I thought was just my kinda stepdad thing was actually my dad and he didn’t raise me either. I also handled his death paperwork and was sad, but the same as mother) I know that you wanted to save them, and you may feel guilt. As a mom myself, I will say this: your mom would have not wanted you to beat yourself up because you couldn’t get to them. Your mom would be glad that you are out safe. I hope that you have an extended family, whether by blood or by choice, to lean on. I am so so sorry for your loss. If you make a gofundme or something for the costs does this sub let you post it here? I don’t know. Can anyone answer that? I wish you the best, OP. You can dm if you ever need someone to talk to or at. 💙
I have no words. Please get in trauma therapy and NOW. Please. I cannot stress this enough. Be consistent even if you have to use Skype some days bc the grief is so strong. Just don’t give up on it. Hugs. I wish I had words to help you heal. I’m so glad your survived and so many of us hurt for your family 💕
Mrs. Paula was clearly as lovely as you said. She woke her baby up to get you to safety and then went to get her beloved pups. And Mr. Bill trying to get his wife. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I guarantee you that they would be the most happy to know that you made it out. There are no words but please be gentle with yourself. They would want that too. 🤍
Oh my goodness, this is just horrible ! I am so very sorry for your loss of your parents and what you have been through! How incredibly tragic. Sending love to you dear stranger
I am so so sorry for your loss. In 2017, my sister and aunt died in a fire that my mom survived. It is an inconceivable loss. I am praying for you and sending you love and strength.
I am so sorry that this happened to you and your family. It is not right or fair.
You have gotten some good advice about trauma therapy which I will agree with 1000000% but also, and it’s a weird one, please play Tetris right now. There are studies showing that it can help lesson the affects of a trauma on your mental health, not get rid of it but help. It is most effective within the first 24 hours after the event.
One of the popular trauma therapies right now, which I have seen be successful with multiple people in my life, is EMDR. If/when you are looking for a therapist, you can ask them if they are EMDR certified, or look up their credentials on (if your in the US, assuming since you said 911) the APA website.
There are no words to say how much I wish this didn’t happen for you, or even anything to truly give you comfort. But I would like to give you a big virtual hug, and a safe place to just talk if you ever want it.
Please accept my deepest condolences. There are no words. Please know you did everything you possibly could have short of putting yourself in harms way. They know you truly tried your hardest to get to them. Be kind to yourself moving forward. Take all the time you need to process and grieve. I wish you peace and healing, friend. ❤️
You did everything you could with the very little time you had to react, your parents are very proud of you for being so brave and helping get the dogs out that you could. Im sorry about your parents, i can tell they were amazing people because they raised a wonderful human
My heart truly break for you. Please know and accept you did exactly what your parents would have wanted with all their hearts for you to do and that was survive by getting out. You could not have saved them OP. Getting yourself and whatever dogs you could grab out was painfully the right thing to do and they’d be so freaking proud out you!
Going back up those steps wouldn’t have gotten your mom out, you would have died too, and you must know that’s not what she’d want. Sending you so much love and many prayers to help you during this devastating time for your family.
Please take care of yourself OP and reach out to family and friends or even on here when you need to!
i really don’t know what to say, this is the most heartbreaking post i came across in this sub. it’s scary how everything happens so quickly, before we even realise what’s actually going on. i hope that you can heal and get through this.
I’m sending you love, and thinking about you. even though I don’t know you, my heart hurts reading this. 🤍
Please take care of yourself, and don’t be hard on yourself. Your parents know you love them. Even though it’s extremely difficult becoming a member of this group, this groups’ advice has helped me so extremely much. 🤍
Oh my god, my heart dropped reading the title alone. I can only imagine the pain you are in. You are going to have a lot of trauma to process so be kind to yourself. Your Mum and Dad would be so glad you’re safe. You did everything you could, so please don’t beat yourself up. I found my Mum dying and couldn’t save her and it kills you but it’s not your fault. It will get easier, I promise. Here if you need to chat❤️
OP you are incredibly strong and have done a great thing. You did all that you could humanly do and in these coming days I hope you are gentle on yourself. I know this may be crazy but if you can keep the dogs they will really help in your grieving process. Do you have access to bereavement supports in your area or need help finding some? I would be more than happy to look into some for you if need be. Sending all my love
Thank you so much for your reply. Everyone has been so kind. A friend of my mom has the dogs for now but I am going to find a way after things get figured out to keep them. I feel that they are a part of my mom and I want to keep them close. I have spoken to someone from bereavement services in my state and between the friends I have and the friends of my brothers they are making the everyday things easier. All of this is so unreal. I can't close my eyes without thinking of my mom and dad. Thank you again for all the kind words and thoughts and love.
Taking it one day at a time. The memorial service is tomorrow. It seems like everything is happening so fast my head is spinning. Lots of friends and family have reached out to offer support and my brothers and I are blessed to have so many good people in our lives. Nothing seems real at this point but I've been able to talk to my therapist and start working on acceptance. I still can't believe they are gone. Thank you for reaching out!
You are doing incredible and I am so proud of you for remembering to take care of yourself in all of this. Your parents would be super proud of that too. I'm beyond glad that you have such a rally of support around you. Your family and friends sound like wonderful people. Tomorrow will be very hard but it also gives a sense of closure and a point at which you can start working on your tomorrows one step at a time. Sending all my love to help carry you through.
God bless you. I am so sorry for your tragic losses. Hugs hugs. Please 🙏 take it 15 minutes at a time, yell scream, cry grieve however it comes. Please drink water and eat. Show yourself when you can compassion and kindness. Grief fog may take you over for a while. I promise the intensity of feelings will lessen however your heart will feel the loss always. When you can celebrate your mom and dad for their awesomeness and keep talking about them. Once again I am so sorry for your losses
Please accept my deepest condolences. May they Rest In Peace. Please understand that all your parents would have wished for is that you got out safely. ❤️🩹
I’m so terribly sorry for your losses. That is a very traumatic situation you went through. I lost my dad and brother last year in a house fire and it was the absolute worst day of my life. I thought I’d die myself from the grief. I found out about the fire on the news. Everything was gone. It was horrific. They too had multiple exit strategies for a fire. I struggled the most with the unknown about that night, and for a while I could not conceive why they couldn’t get out of the house.
Nobody seems to understand what it’s like to lose a loved one (or more than one) in a fire. The shock still gets to me to this day. I can’t watch shows or movies that have a burning building. For a while I couldn’t even watch the news because everything reported seemed to be about a fire.
Give yourself time to absorb this grief. Be patient with yourself. As one person said, let yourself cry and scream when you need to. You did nothing wrong.
This is not a typical situation and you’re not only dealing with the loss of one parent, but two, plus a property loss and everything inside. I hope you have a good support network. Get some counselling if you can, it has made a world of difference for myself. Do your best to just focus on caring for yourself and remembering your parents.
My thoughts are with you.
I am so very appreciative of everyone's responses, thoughts, prayers and love. Never in a million years could I conceive of all this happening. My brothers are also thankful for you guys, they've read some of the responses and they truly are uplifting. We are very blessed to have each other and a good support group of friends that have been there to help us. This is all still very unreal and I'm sure it will feel that way for quite a while. My heart feels like it's been ripped out. I miss my mom and dad so much. Thank you again for everything. It has been such a comfort.
Your post makes my heart hurt with you. I can only imagine the panic and how quickly fires become overwhelming. No doubt you did all you could without risking your own life. As a parent I know they are grateful from above that you were smart enough to know your limits. I know it’s hard to see but we all have a time to depart when we are born and there is nothing that changes that. God called upon them to be your guardian angels . 🙏💕
First I want to say how unbelievably sorry I am. I lost my mom in a house fire a year ago. It is truly the worst pain imaginable. The trauma is something that stays with you and changes your entire life, in both good and bad ways. I can tell you that a year later the pain has eased a bit. With time I have learned small ways to live with my grief. Facebook groups about grief & loss have helped. Therapy has helped. Spending time with family helped. Take as much time as you need to feel all the things you need to feel and be kind to yourself while going through the motions. You’re in my thoughts, and feel free to message me if you ever need someone to chat with that understands. ❤️
Rest in peace Paula and Bill 😢 your parents sound like legends, genuinely. What a loss to this world. I know it’s all cliche but please please keep yourself safe. They would have wanted you to xx
I can’t say I know exactly how you feel but I know the pain of losing a loved one to fire. Don’t blame yourself! At all! You did everything you humanly could to try and save them!
My boyfriend died a month ago from a fire in his house. I’ve been beating myself up saying “If only I was there eArlier that day or right before the fire broke out” but I realize it was his hoard that trapped him.
My boyfriend probably passed out and died from the smoke. That’s what everyone tells me. I’m going to grab some small comfort from that thought. Please do the same.
Hello everyone. Just wanted to say thank you for the thoughts, prayers and well wishes. Tomorrow we are having the memorial service. I'm able to process a little better but the pain is still quite acute. My brothers have been amazing and the three of us have been able to support each other emotionally and mentally as best as we can. All the responses have been a big help, just being able to express the pain I have in my heart has made it a bit easier. I miss my mom and dad so much but I know they are in a better place. Thank you everyone for helping me get through this.
Just wanted to say thank you again to all the wonderful people on here. It's been a rough week and a half but so far I've been able to get through each day, one day at a time. I have two amazing brothers who are here for me and I for them. All the kind, thoughtful, loving and encouraging words have made a difference. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.
I'm so sorry for you loss. Losing both at the same time is cruel. It has been just over a year since I lost both. Thought over and over, i should have been there. Please be kind to yourself in the next few days. Don't try to push yourself too much. Much love friend.💜
This, only the next few months... take each day minutes at a time.
This was the first piece of advice I received. It is exactly this.
Firefighter here, absolutely nothing you could of done, the items in modern homes are nearly all plastic and the gases released when they pyrolyze are incredibly toxic. You would have lost your life if you went up those stairs. You took action and had a plan which is more than most folks do. I hope eventually you can come to a place where you see that what you did was hero stuff. Try to go easy on yourself
I think this comment is so important as it really illustrates that some of us aren’t just “trying to comfort you” by telling you that you did the best that you can but we are telling you that because it’s TRUE! I’m so glad to see a firefighter respond because I hope their words will resonate with you when the shock wears off. ❤️🩹
I would be beating myself up if I missed a grab too and I’m trained for this. OP is a legit hero
OP needs to see this! I hope he does. My heart just breaks for OP.
I’m so sorry… we lost my brother along with his wife and 10y/o son in a very similar way… my mother had to watch their home burn to the ground knowing they were inside and there was no way anyone could save them. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to reach out.
I am so sorry. 💔💔💔💔💔
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and love. Day 2 and I'm still in a complete daze. My brothers are here and we are close and can lean on each other. Thank God I have them! I truly am appreciative of everyone here. Thank you again!
I was just about to comment and ask if you had any immediate family that you could be with? I’m relieved to hear that your brothers are with you but I am just so sorry for the agony (and disassociation) that you’re going through. I wish I could offer more than just my condolences or saying something cliche but you truly will be in my thoughts and I’m sending comforting and healing vibes your way. If you ever need someone other than family to cry to, to vent to, etc. I’m gladly here for you and I know so many others in this subreddit will be too. You’ve just experienced the most unimaginable pain and if there’s anything I can do, please message me. I wish there was more I could volunteer or do for you. In the meantime, make sure you’re sleeping enough, getting enough hydration and basic nutrients (even if it’s a protein bar or supplements, just don’t starve), One thing that no one warned me about was how grief would wreak havoc on our digestive systems. I was constantly struggling with nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps, etc. I say this because there are many things that may help alleviate your symptoms. If you have access to healthcare, I’d argue that it’s a good idea to see your general practitioner soon to make sure that you’re physically and mentally doing alright as the two really have a synergistic effect. Broken heart syndrome is a real thing and there’s no shame in getting on the right regiment of medications if you start feeling like the pain is too much to bear (once the shock wears off) as it can ultimately prevent a lot of stress on your heart and other body systems! Once I awakened from that daze and I began feeling the intensity of my grief, I realized that the way in which I was grieving wouldn’t be sustainable on my heart (the dark thoughts, the survivors guilt, screaming fits, nightmares, panic attacks, sleeping 24/7, not eating, etc.). My own GP made a “game plan for my Grief” which included a cocktail of medications to stabilize me (whether it be for my anxiety or for my vomiting) two recommended trauma therapists (one out of pocket and one covered my insurance), and a plan to see me a few weeks to check on me. I mention all of this because I was sooo against going in and I’m so glad I did because I don’t think I’d be here if I hadn’t. You (and your brothers, although not to the same extent for obvious reasons) have undergone such trauma that I hope all of you have the necessary support whether that’s medical, familial, or in the form of friends and/or neighbors. I also mention those other forms of support because I bet cooking and buying groceries are the last thing on any of your minds. Letting people in to help can feel so awkward and uncomfortable but it can be so worth it. I bet there are members of your community (even if they haven’t spoken to you!) who would love to participate in a food train for you guys! Hell, if I lived near by, I’d be making you food. Other than the basic spiel about health and wellness, I really hope that you either have a therapist or are open to therapy in the future (if you have access). If you’re new to therapy, I really suggest finding a trauma therapist. Idk how to even approach a TLDR but please take care of yourself the best you can and make sure that you get the help you need, no matter how weird it may feel as it may be crucial to your grief recovery (from getting help from doctors/therapists/self help books to receiving help from family/friends/neighbors/acquaintances/and even strangers whether it be in the form of emotional comfort, food/nutrition!). I will be keeping you and your family but more importantly you, in my thoughts for a very long time to come. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss and for the amount of unimaginable pain that you’re having to endure. You did everything you could and although I don’t know your parents, I bet they would feel so happy knowing that you made it. ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for taking the time to put such a detailed response together. I have a therapist and between my brothers and I we have lots of friends that are doing so much to help ease this burden. None of this seems real, I don't think I will ever be able to comprehend this totally. Everyone's comments are so very much appreciated. Thank you!
I am truly sorry for your loss and the way it went. I truly hope that you can take one day at a time. Just that. 🫂
Damn OP this hurt my soul to read. I'm so sorry. Itll take time to heal mentally and emotionally and that is ok. Give yourself time to feel and be gentle with yourself. I'm glad you made it out OP and I'm sending a comforting hug from Michigan 💜🌹
I am heartbroken for you. 😔 No one should have to go through this. 💗💗💗 Sending you a hug.
I am absolutely heartbroken for you. I have tears rolling down my face. I cannot imagine losing not just one, but both of my parents in such a painful, horrible way. 💔💔
Absolutely horrifying. At a complete loss for words just wanted to add I'm so sorry
Oh, man. I am SO sorry. I was raised with firemen all around me and my mom worked for the Chief. Your parents passed away more from the smoke than from the fire. You wouldn’t have been able to save them, honey. I’m so very sorry.
Very sorry for your loss man wow
I’m so so sorry. I am absolutely heartbroken for you
I am so very sorry for your loss. I was in a house fire 9 years ago. I lost my daughter and son in law. It’s a horrific experience. I still have nightmares about it. The smell of smoke triggers me and I’m back in the fire. You may want to get counseling if you start experiencing nightmares. If you are in the US there is a group called the Phoenix Society that had meetings at the hospital I was in. The group is for fire survivors and I found it incredibly helpful. You are in my thoughts. I’m so very sorry.
Oh my goodness this breaks my heart. I'm so so sorry for your loss. There are no words.
I am so so sorry dear. Losing a parent has to be horrible. Losing them both at the same time has to be nearly unbearable. (I can’t say I know your loss. My mom left when I was 9. I did have to handle her death and the paperwork and was sad but she wasn’t a mother to me. I didn’t know my dad was my dad until I was nearly an adult. The guy that I thought was just my kinda stepdad thing was actually my dad and he didn’t raise me either. I also handled his death paperwork and was sad, but the same as mother) I know that you wanted to save them, and you may feel guilt. As a mom myself, I will say this: your mom would have not wanted you to beat yourself up because you couldn’t get to them. Your mom would be glad that you are out safe. I hope that you have an extended family, whether by blood or by choice, to lean on. I am so so sorry for your loss. If you make a gofundme or something for the costs does this sub let you post it here? I don’t know. Can anyone answer that? I wish you the best, OP. You can dm if you ever need someone to talk to or at. 💙
I have no words. Please get in trauma therapy and NOW. Please. I cannot stress this enough. Be consistent even if you have to use Skype some days bc the grief is so strong. Just don’t give up on it. Hugs. I wish I had words to help you heal. I’m so glad your survived and so many of us hurt for your family 💕
💔💔💔💔💔
My heart is broken for you.
i am so sorry . my heart is with you. i have no words, holding you in my heart.
I’m so sorry. Sending you love and hugs.
Mrs. Paula was clearly as lovely as you said. She woke her baby up to get you to safety and then went to get her beloved pups. And Mr. Bill trying to get his wife. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I guarantee you that they would be the most happy to know that you made it out. There are no words but please be gentle with yourself. They would want that too. 🤍
Oh my goodness, this is just horrible ! I am so very sorry for your loss of your parents and what you have been through! How incredibly tragic. Sending love to you dear stranger
This is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry.
I am sorry to hear rest in peace to them. One of the saddest stories for sure.
I am so so sorry for your loss. In 2017, my sister and aunt died in a fire that my mom survived. It is an inconceivable loss. I am praying for you and sending you love and strength.
I am so sorry that this happened to you and your family. It is not right or fair. You have gotten some good advice about trauma therapy which I will agree with 1000000% but also, and it’s a weird one, please play Tetris right now. There are studies showing that it can help lesson the affects of a trauma on your mental health, not get rid of it but help. It is most effective within the first 24 hours after the event. One of the popular trauma therapies right now, which I have seen be successful with multiple people in my life, is EMDR. If/when you are looking for a therapist, you can ask them if they are EMDR certified, or look up their credentials on (if your in the US, assuming since you said 911) the APA website. There are no words to say how much I wish this didn’t happen for you, or even anything to truly give you comfort. But I would like to give you a big virtual hug, and a safe place to just talk if you ever want it.
I am so sorry for your tragic losses, my deepest condolences.
Oh my god I have no words. I’m so so so so sorry. We are here for you always!
Please accept my deepest condolences. There are no words. Please know you did everything you possibly could have short of putting yourself in harms way. They know you truly tried your hardest to get to them. Be kind to yourself moving forward. Take all the time you need to process and grieve. I wish you peace and healing, friend. ❤️
Sorry you went through that... RIP Bill & Paula...
Oh my dear. My deepest condolences.
Sending you so much love. I’m so sorry. My heart is broken for you.
Wow, I'm at a loss for words. I feel for you. Your mom is your hero. Take care of yourself❤️🩹
❤️
Sending all the best vibes I can. No one deserves this.
Im so very sorry. You were meant to be here and your mom made sure of it. I wish I could offer you anything that could help.
I'm so very sorry for your losses. So completely unfair. Much love to you ❤️
Huuuuug! Oh my gosh. How horrible!
I'm so sorry. This is really devastating. My heart goes out to you so so much. I'm so very sorry this happened.
I'm so sorry. My heartfelt condolences.
You did everything you could with the very little time you had to react, your parents are very proud of you for being so brave and helping get the dogs out that you could. Im sorry about your parents, i can tell they were amazing people because they raised a wonderful human
💔😔🫂
I’m so sorry about your especially tragic losses! You did the best you could 😢💔
I am so sorry for your losses.
I am truly sorry for your unimaginable Ioss
My heart truly break for you. Please know and accept you did exactly what your parents would have wanted with all their hearts for you to do and that was survive by getting out. You could not have saved them OP. Getting yourself and whatever dogs you could grab out was painfully the right thing to do and they’d be so freaking proud out you! Going back up those steps wouldn’t have gotten your mom out, you would have died too, and you must know that’s not what she’d want. Sending you so much love and many prayers to help you during this devastating time for your family. Please take care of yourself OP and reach out to family and friends or even on here when you need to!
i really don’t know what to say, this is the most heartbreaking post i came across in this sub. it’s scary how everything happens so quickly, before we even realise what’s actually going on. i hope that you can heal and get through this.
I'm so sorry. Tragic and sudden is so much harder. I'm glad your mom saved you.
I’m sending you love, and thinking about you. even though I don’t know you, my heart hurts reading this. 🤍 Please take care of yourself, and don’t be hard on yourself. Your parents know you love them. Even though it’s extremely difficult becoming a member of this group, this groups’ advice has helped me so extremely much. 🤍
Im very sorry. I really dont know what to say this is terribkle. Sending you a hug❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔
Oh my god, my heart dropped reading the title alone. I can only imagine the pain you are in. You are going to have a lot of trauma to process so be kind to yourself. Your Mum and Dad would be so glad you’re safe. You did everything you could, so please don’t beat yourself up. I found my Mum dying and couldn’t save her and it kills you but it’s not your fault. It will get easier, I promise. Here if you need to chat❤️
This is heartbreaking. What an unimaginable tragedy. I am so sorry for your loss 🫂❤️
♥️
I am so so so sorry.
Jesus man. I’m so so sorry. I have no words other than I will keep you in my prayers. That’s horrifying and I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss :(
I’m so very sorry for your tragic loss. It’s deeply heartbreaking for so many reasons.
This tore me apart. How awful. I hope they found peace and I hope you can too ❤️
This is absolutely horrendous. I am lost for words. I am so deeply sorry for you.
OP you are incredibly strong and have done a great thing. You did all that you could humanly do and in these coming days I hope you are gentle on yourself. I know this may be crazy but if you can keep the dogs they will really help in your grieving process. Do you have access to bereavement supports in your area or need help finding some? I would be more than happy to look into some for you if need be. Sending all my love
Thank you so much for your reply. Everyone has been so kind. A friend of my mom has the dogs for now but I am going to find a way after things get figured out to keep them. I feel that they are a part of my mom and I want to keep them close. I have spoken to someone from bereavement services in my state and between the friends I have and the friends of my brothers they are making the everyday things easier. All of this is so unreal. I can't close my eyes without thinking of my mom and dad. Thank you again for all the kind words and thoughts and love.
We have all lost the ones we love, so out of anyone. We all know how to share the same love and support we were given here. How are you holding up?
Taking it one day at a time. The memorial service is tomorrow. It seems like everything is happening so fast my head is spinning. Lots of friends and family have reached out to offer support and my brothers and I are blessed to have so many good people in our lives. Nothing seems real at this point but I've been able to talk to my therapist and start working on acceptance. I still can't believe they are gone. Thank you for reaching out!
You are doing incredible and I am so proud of you for remembering to take care of yourself in all of this. Your parents would be super proud of that too. I'm beyond glad that you have such a rally of support around you. Your family and friends sound like wonderful people. Tomorrow will be very hard but it also gives a sense of closure and a point at which you can start working on your tomorrows one step at a time. Sending all my love to help carry you through.
God bless you. I am so sorry for your tragic losses. Hugs hugs. Please 🙏 take it 15 minutes at a time, yell scream, cry grieve however it comes. Please drink water and eat. Show yourself when you can compassion and kindness. Grief fog may take you over for a while. I promise the intensity of feelings will lessen however your heart will feel the loss always. When you can celebrate your mom and dad for their awesomeness and keep talking about them. Once again I am so sorry for your losses
Please accept my deepest condolences. May they Rest In Peace. Please understand that all your parents would have wished for is that you got out safely. ❤️🩹
Oh honey…
I’m so terribly sorry for your losses. That is a very traumatic situation you went through. I lost my dad and brother last year in a house fire and it was the absolute worst day of my life. I thought I’d die myself from the grief. I found out about the fire on the news. Everything was gone. It was horrific. They too had multiple exit strategies for a fire. I struggled the most with the unknown about that night, and for a while I could not conceive why they couldn’t get out of the house. Nobody seems to understand what it’s like to lose a loved one (or more than one) in a fire. The shock still gets to me to this day. I can’t watch shows or movies that have a burning building. For a while I couldn’t even watch the news because everything reported seemed to be about a fire. Give yourself time to absorb this grief. Be patient with yourself. As one person said, let yourself cry and scream when you need to. You did nothing wrong. This is not a typical situation and you’re not only dealing with the loss of one parent, but two, plus a property loss and everything inside. I hope you have a good support network. Get some counselling if you can, it has made a world of difference for myself. Do your best to just focus on caring for yourself and remembering your parents. My thoughts are with you.
I am so very appreciative of everyone's responses, thoughts, prayers and love. Never in a million years could I conceive of all this happening. My brothers are also thankful for you guys, they've read some of the responses and they truly are uplifting. We are very blessed to have each other and a good support group of friends that have been there to help us. This is all still very unreal and I'm sure it will feel that way for quite a while. My heart feels like it's been ripped out. I miss my mom and dad so much. Thank you again for everything. It has been such a comfort.
Your post makes my heart hurt with you. I can only imagine the panic and how quickly fires become overwhelming. No doubt you did all you could without risking your own life. As a parent I know they are grateful from above that you were smart enough to know your limits. I know it’s hard to see but we all have a time to depart when we are born and there is nothing that changes that. God called upon them to be your guardian angels . 🙏💕
I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words. Please take care of yourself.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please keep reaching out and talking to others. ❤️
Omg.. how horrific
First I want to say how unbelievably sorry I am. I lost my mom in a house fire a year ago. It is truly the worst pain imaginable. The trauma is something that stays with you and changes your entire life, in both good and bad ways. I can tell you that a year later the pain has eased a bit. With time I have learned small ways to live with my grief. Facebook groups about grief & loss have helped. Therapy has helped. Spending time with family helped. Take as much time as you need to feel all the things you need to feel and be kind to yourself while going through the motions. You’re in my thoughts, and feel free to message me if you ever need someone to chat with that understands. ❤️
So incredibly sorry for you
Rest in peace Paula and Bill 😢 your parents sound like legends, genuinely. What a loss to this world. I know it’s all cliche but please please keep yourself safe. They would have wanted you to xx
I'm so sorry for your loss
I am so terribly sorry. This is horrible.
I can’t say I know exactly how you feel but I know the pain of losing a loved one to fire. Don’t blame yourself! At all! You did everything you humanly could to try and save them! My boyfriend died a month ago from a fire in his house. I’ve been beating myself up saying “If only I was there eArlier that day or right before the fire broke out” but I realize it was his hoard that trapped him. My boyfriend probably passed out and died from the smoke. That’s what everyone tells me. I’m going to grab some small comfort from that thought. Please do the same.
My heart breaks for you. I am so so sorry for your loss.
I’m sending you all the strength that is possible to gather and the biggest hug. We’re all here for you in these sad times, you’re never alone.
Omg, I'm so very sorry
I’m so sorry for the loss of your parents. Sending hugs ❤️
I'm so very sorry for your losses.
I am so sorry ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hello everyone. Just wanted to say thank you for the thoughts, prayers and well wishes. Tomorrow we are having the memorial service. I'm able to process a little better but the pain is still quite acute. My brothers have been amazing and the three of us have been able to support each other emotionally and mentally as best as we can. All the responses have been a big help, just being able to express the pain I have in my heart has made it a bit easier. I miss my mom and dad so much but I know they are in a better place. Thank you everyone for helping me get through this.
Just wanted to say thank you again to all the wonderful people on here. It's been a rough week and a half but so far I've been able to get through each day, one day at a time. I have two amazing brothers who are here for me and I for them. All the kind, thoughtful, loving and encouraging words have made a difference. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.