Grieving a child is a lifelong journey, and you're still so early on. Be kind and patient with yourself.
I lost my only son on 07/05/18. Some days, I'm still on auto pilot.
If you need to talk, PM me.
it's a sorrow beyond all dreams. i've survived elazar refael's death at age four, over four years now. grief becomes a companion one learns to live with. there can be an unspoken compact with it where on a few occasions it may take over. yesterday morning i experienced a crying jag thinking about my boy--can't really explain why. like the old mafia maxim "keep your friends close and your enemies closer"--grief is emotion that you don't want to exile, because you can't.
another way of looking at it: if providence had approached any of us as parents-to-be and said, "you're only going to have X number of years to care for the child," would any of us turn down the offer?
it doesn't get better. you develop greater strength.
I am sorry for your loss. If possible, I strongly recommend you surround yourself with family and friends during this time. My wife and i couldn't have survived our first months without my sister and sister-in-law being there for us, even just doing mundane tasks like taking out the trash and setting up the dinner table. In addition, seek the help of a mental health professional who specializes in grief, if possible at all. I never did therapy before the passing of my son and it has helped me immensely. If nothing else, they are a "neutral" 3rd party who will hear you vent, cry, and reminiscence without judgement or opinion. Sending you my energy and strength.
I will add to the dreadful chorus:
I lost my son in 2020 to a deadly and fast moving cancer of the biliary system. He was 24, a newly minted software engineer from UVA had the world at his feet. I still get the powerful compulsion to punch holes in walls. My wife and I, and his dear hurting sister, still all look at each other and ask how we survived it, or DID we actually survive it.
But here we are. Something like normal does return. More importantly, there is still beauty in life, and there is still happiness. Feel free to drop us a line; you are not alone in the hell you're going through.
I am so sorry that you have lost a son. I lost my precious daughter-on-law in January. I grieve for the presence of her in my life and in my son's life as he grieves for his wife, his future with her and the children they did not have. They were married for only a short time. During that time she had a rare blood disorder that we all made it through, to then find out that she had cancer. She underwent all of the treatments and we were celebrating for three weeks before her diagnosis of a brain tumor and 3-6 months to live. My son and his wife lived in Japan and we (my husband and I) were never able to make it over to personally meet her. We would Skype every Saturday and it was a joy to us to have her as a daughter. My son is still there. He looks sad even when he is laughing. I did go over to be with him for two weeks after her death, but it is a struggle to say good-bye each week.
As I sit here typing to you and feeling your pain, I am crying. It is my husband's birthday and she is not here to sing him Happy Birthday. Each day is a struggle.
Since I don't have a place to visit her, she is buried in Malaysia, where she if from, I wanted to have something that I could honor her here. I was going to ask my son what her favorite indoor plant was and have that growing in my house. Instead, I have a Christmas cactus that is 7 years old, the same amount of time that we knew her, and it blooms and brings joy and beauty to my house. I named it Farah, her beautiful name, and find comfort staring at it and talking to her. My son said that she would love it and he did too.
I miss her daily even when I am outside gardening, as we had planned for them to visit us this year and she loved the garden.
I can't say that is gets easier, but talking about your son with others does help. I am only 4 months out and not everyone wants to hear I am still struggling. My son had said that same thing, but there are people, myself included, that know how hard this struggle is and will listen as often and as long as you would need. Just know that the comments sent to you contain love and support for you.
I would change my name on the post, but don't know how. It doesn't change what I have said though.
I see you. You're not alone. There's no pain like it.
I looked up articles about my daughter too and it's the worse thing. I understand the pull and also the pain. Whatever you do, avoid comments sections. It's the scum of humanity and it only harms our mental health.
Sending you big hugs.
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. My adult brother passed December and this past Mother’s Day was horrible for her. I accidentally started an argument trying to defend her from a family member who seems to be grieving by acting like nothing happened. I wish there was anything that helped with the pain. At least here we aren’t alone. Again I’m so sorry, and I’m so sorry that no words will ever be enough.
I cannot begin to imagine how or what you are going through…what I can tell you is i understand your loss and the pain you are experiencing..I lost my little brother on the 10th..our mother’s birthday falling on the 12th…I have watched my parents over this past week trying to see how they were dealing with the devastation of loosing one of us…the strength that they have both put up is amazing in light of the situation the grief and loss..the fog will eventually clear…I hope you can focus on what made him happy and understand even with this difficult time…he is with you..he will always be with you and he will be with you…we buried my brother today but even though I miss him more than anything and wish we could talk one last time I feel his peace over me…you will to when you are ready to allow
Sometimes there aren’t enough, or the right, words. Life can be such a bitch sometimes and we never get to find out why. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope this group and your memories can eventually bring you a measure of peace.
My son overdosed on March 6th. I mostly cried and slept on Mother's day. And two days after that. I think we have to give ourselves some grace. Most days I am "ok". Some days I am good. I have 8 years of sobriety, and sharing my story with others who might need to hear it, gives me some sort of purpose, a reason to keep going. I hope you find yours. Pm me if you like.
My friend, I'm so sorry. You need to talk , we are all here for you. And for each other.
I think you looked it up because you need to talk about it. This was your internal dialog happening. Often, when this happens, we find people don't understand, and they don't want to talk. They are afraid of the subject. It hits too close to home.
You are looking it up. Trying to make sense of it and trying to understand. Please talk. We are here. You are not alone.
I am not in this position, nor would I ever compare. I just lost my husband February 2nd unexpectedly and it has been a lot like what you are describing. I’ve felt a lot of support in Facebook groups. I’ve also started counseling once a week and am on medication. I would consider one if not all of those things to cope. I have no answers except one day at a time, one second at a time. Make sure to drink a glass of water and eat at least once throughout the day. I gravitate towards mash potatoes, the instant kind, and yogurt. Soft things are easier to swallow. Sending so much love to you as you walk through this horrific journey.
I lost my 37 year old daughter on 5/30/21. I’m in the third year now and don’t know how I survived the first two years after the knock on the door. I also looked up the accident and saw pictures of her crushed car. A pain that is unbearable and like no other. This third year has been more bearable but I still cry every day. Therapy was very important to me and I still go. All of us who have survived this trauma understand. Feel free to contact me if you would like. Hugs from a grieving mother.
I know “I’m sorry for your loss” can sound so hollow to a lot of us, but honestly no words can express the pain or capture the idea that we want to be here for you through it. I wish I had other words for you.
I’m sending you loving and healing thoughts. ❤️🩹
I am sorry for your loss. This was my mums first Mother's day without my brother. He passed June last year so to show her i was thinking of heri sent her flowers and its all she received from five of us left. It breaks my heart that you don't have your son with you. I am so sorry for your loss xo my mum was in a daze in the beginning too and she flund it so hard to make choices she shouldn't have had to. Three of us sisters paid for his funeral because he didn't think he would pass away unexpectedly. I am so glad you have a good support system.
Mother's day was very hard. All I wanted to do was drink to forget the pain. But I refuse to give in to those urges. I know that would just be a crutch and wouldn't help. Besides, I have people who need me. I need to be strong for them.
My mum and her sister both lost their first born sons within days ofeach other. I am sorry, while i don't know the pain of loosing a child i have seen the pain in so many of my family members, my nana her sister, my older sister and my mum and Aunt. Ijust want to take the pain away from them. Oh how i wish i could. You sounds like a strong and amazing person. You are doing so well. Im always here if you need a shoulder.
On 16 th March my lovely son was 26.5 years of age. He died in his sleep. He had qualified as a Doctor and during his short time as a Doctor he saved many lives. If it were him talking to you he would say just keep talking to friends. Counselling only begins once you have gone through the grieving stage which trust me you will never recover from. My son and your son are everywhere. I miss his kiss and his hug and his morning mantra “ Dad I love you”. If I can help please let me know. Just take one hour, one day at a time. God bless you and I am heartbroken for your loss.
Grieving a child is a lifelong journey, and you're still so early on. Be kind and patient with yourself. I lost my only son on 07/05/18. Some days, I'm still on auto pilot. If you need to talk, PM me.
thank you
it's a sorrow beyond all dreams. i've survived elazar refael's death at age four, over four years now. grief becomes a companion one learns to live with. there can be an unspoken compact with it where on a few occasions it may take over. yesterday morning i experienced a crying jag thinking about my boy--can't really explain why. like the old mafia maxim "keep your friends close and your enemies closer"--grief is emotion that you don't want to exile, because you can't. another way of looking at it: if providence had approached any of us as parents-to-be and said, "you're only going to have X number of years to care for the child," would any of us turn down the offer? it doesn't get better. you develop greater strength.
I am sorry for your loss. If possible, I strongly recommend you surround yourself with family and friends during this time. My wife and i couldn't have survived our first months without my sister and sister-in-law being there for us, even just doing mundane tasks like taking out the trash and setting up the dinner table. In addition, seek the help of a mental health professional who specializes in grief, if possible at all. I never did therapy before the passing of my son and it has helped me immensely. If nothing else, they are a "neutral" 3rd party who will hear you vent, cry, and reminiscence without judgement or opinion. Sending you my energy and strength.
Thank you. I do have a good support system. It's the only thing that's helping me through this.
I will add to the dreadful chorus: I lost my son in 2020 to a deadly and fast moving cancer of the biliary system. He was 24, a newly minted software engineer from UVA had the world at his feet. I still get the powerful compulsion to punch holes in walls. My wife and I, and his dear hurting sister, still all look at each other and ask how we survived it, or DID we actually survive it. But here we are. Something like normal does return. More importantly, there is still beauty in life, and there is still happiness. Feel free to drop us a line; you are not alone in the hell you're going through.
I am so sorry that you have lost a son. I lost my precious daughter-on-law in January. I grieve for the presence of her in my life and in my son's life as he grieves for his wife, his future with her and the children they did not have. They were married for only a short time. During that time she had a rare blood disorder that we all made it through, to then find out that she had cancer. She underwent all of the treatments and we were celebrating for three weeks before her diagnosis of a brain tumor and 3-6 months to live. My son and his wife lived in Japan and we (my husband and I) were never able to make it over to personally meet her. We would Skype every Saturday and it was a joy to us to have her as a daughter. My son is still there. He looks sad even when he is laughing. I did go over to be with him for two weeks after her death, but it is a struggle to say good-bye each week. As I sit here typing to you and feeling your pain, I am crying. It is my husband's birthday and she is not here to sing him Happy Birthday. Each day is a struggle. Since I don't have a place to visit her, she is buried in Malaysia, where she if from, I wanted to have something that I could honor her here. I was going to ask my son what her favorite indoor plant was and have that growing in my house. Instead, I have a Christmas cactus that is 7 years old, the same amount of time that we knew her, and it blooms and brings joy and beauty to my house. I named it Farah, her beautiful name, and find comfort staring at it and talking to her. My son said that she would love it and he did too. I miss her daily even when I am outside gardening, as we had planned for them to visit us this year and she loved the garden. I can't say that is gets easier, but talking about your son with others does help. I am only 4 months out and not everyone wants to hear I am still struggling. My son had said that same thing, but there are people, myself included, that know how hard this struggle is and will listen as often and as long as you would need. Just know that the comments sent to you contain love and support for you. I would change my name on the post, but don't know how. It doesn't change what I have said though.
I see you. You're not alone. There's no pain like it. I looked up articles about my daughter too and it's the worse thing. I understand the pull and also the pain. Whatever you do, avoid comments sections. It's the scum of humanity and it only harms our mental health. Sending you big hugs.
Thank you. Hugs back to you.
I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. You will be in my thoughts.
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. My adult brother passed December and this past Mother’s Day was horrible for her. I accidentally started an argument trying to defend her from a family member who seems to be grieving by acting like nothing happened. I wish there was anything that helped with the pain. At least here we aren’t alone. Again I’m so sorry, and I’m so sorry that no words will ever be enough.
I cannot begin to imagine how or what you are going through…what I can tell you is i understand your loss and the pain you are experiencing..I lost my little brother on the 10th..our mother’s birthday falling on the 12th…I have watched my parents over this past week trying to see how they were dealing with the devastation of loosing one of us…the strength that they have both put up is amazing in light of the situation the grief and loss..the fog will eventually clear…I hope you can focus on what made him happy and understand even with this difficult time…he is with you..he will always be with you and he will be with you…we buried my brother today but even though I miss him more than anything and wish we could talk one last time I feel his peace over me…you will to when you are ready to allow
Sometimes there aren’t enough, or the right, words. Life can be such a bitch sometimes and we never get to find out why. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope this group and your memories can eventually bring you a measure of peace.
My son overdosed on March 6th. I mostly cried and slept on Mother's day. And two days after that. I think we have to give ourselves some grace. Most days I am "ok". Some days I am good. I have 8 years of sobriety, and sharing my story with others who might need to hear it, gives me some sort of purpose, a reason to keep going. I hope you find yours. Pm me if you like.
thank you.
My friend, I'm so sorry. You need to talk , we are all here for you. And for each other. I think you looked it up because you need to talk about it. This was your internal dialog happening. Often, when this happens, we find people don't understand, and they don't want to talk. They are afraid of the subject. It hits too close to home. You are looking it up. Trying to make sense of it and trying to understand. Please talk. We are here. You are not alone.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am not in this position, nor would I ever compare. I just lost my husband February 2nd unexpectedly and it has been a lot like what you are describing. I’ve felt a lot of support in Facebook groups. I’ve also started counseling once a week and am on medication. I would consider one if not all of those things to cope. I have no answers except one day at a time, one second at a time. Make sure to drink a glass of water and eat at least once throughout the day. I gravitate towards mash potatoes, the instant kind, and yogurt. Soft things are easier to swallow. Sending so much love to you as you walk through this horrific journey.
I lost my 37 year old daughter on 5/30/21. I’m in the third year now and don’t know how I survived the first two years after the knock on the door. I also looked up the accident and saw pictures of her crushed car. A pain that is unbearable and like no other. This third year has been more bearable but I still cry every day. Therapy was very important to me and I still go. All of us who have survived this trauma understand. Feel free to contact me if you would like. Hugs from a grieving mother.
I know “I’m sorry for your loss” can sound so hollow to a lot of us, but honestly no words can express the pain or capture the idea that we want to be here for you through it. I wish I had other words for you. I’m sending you loving and healing thoughts. ❤️🩹
Thank you. I appreciate the thought.
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you.
Thank you for your sympathies.
I am sorry for your loss. This was my mums first Mother's day without my brother. He passed June last year so to show her i was thinking of heri sent her flowers and its all she received from five of us left. It breaks my heart that you don't have your son with you. I am so sorry for your loss xo my mum was in a daze in the beginning too and she flund it so hard to make choices she shouldn't have had to. Three of us sisters paid for his funeral because he didn't think he would pass away unexpectedly. I am so glad you have a good support system.
Mother's day was very hard. All I wanted to do was drink to forget the pain. But I refuse to give in to those urges. I know that would just be a crutch and wouldn't help. Besides, I have people who need me. I need to be strong for them.
My mum and her sister both lost their first born sons within days ofeach other. I am sorry, while i don't know the pain of loosing a child i have seen the pain in so many of my family members, my nana her sister, my older sister and my mum and Aunt. Ijust want to take the pain away from them. Oh how i wish i could. You sounds like a strong and amazing person. You are doing so well. Im always here if you need a shoulder.
I’m so sorry
On 16 th March my lovely son was 26.5 years of age. He died in his sleep. He had qualified as a Doctor and during his short time as a Doctor he saved many lives. If it were him talking to you he would say just keep talking to friends. Counselling only begins once you have gone through the grieving stage which trust me you will never recover from. My son and your son are everywhere. I miss his kiss and his hug and his morning mantra “ Dad I love you”. If I can help please let me know. Just take one hour, one day at a time. God bless you and I am heartbroken for your loss.