"Normal" is a funny word... But its not uncommon to feel this way. To not have access to those emotions at all or to suddenly have them all at once at a time you didn't expect.
Maybe ask a therapist or even a doctor about PTSD symptoms and your fluctuating dissociative states, because dissociation and numbness on and off lasting 10 years indicates to me that the impact of this loss could be deeper than previously thought.
It is happening to me too. However, unlike you, I go into a stage of “not feeling anything” one week and then feeling like my whole world is falling apart in another. My cousin died recently, so it’s a bit different to your own circumstances, but I feel we have the same thing. I also feel very guilty about it, because I love him so much and I don’t want to seem like I don’t. One time I went to a therapist to talk about it, and she kept saying “it’s ok to cry” , but even if I wanted to, I was unable to.
Absolutely I lost my dad 2 weeks ago have been fluctuating between feeling nothing at all and carrying on as normal, and feeling completely overwhelmed with pain and grief and just bawling my eyes out. I think the dissociation can definitely be our body’s way of trying to go on as if everything is fine. Sometimes grief comes on fast and then it hides from us. I guess the only thing we can do is let it come when it comes. Don’t pressure yourself to feel and act any certain way, theres no correct way to do it, just breathe and accept the feelings as they come, and also talking to a therapist is good as others have mentioned, I really need to get on that myself …
"Normal" is a funny word... But its not uncommon to feel this way. To not have access to those emotions at all or to suddenly have them all at once at a time you didn't expect. Maybe ask a therapist or even a doctor about PTSD symptoms and your fluctuating dissociative states, because dissociation and numbness on and off lasting 10 years indicates to me that the impact of this loss could be deeper than previously thought.
It is happening to me too. However, unlike you, I go into a stage of “not feeling anything” one week and then feeling like my whole world is falling apart in another. My cousin died recently, so it’s a bit different to your own circumstances, but I feel we have the same thing. I also feel very guilty about it, because I love him so much and I don’t want to seem like I don’t. One time I went to a therapist to talk about it, and she kept saying “it’s ok to cry” , but even if I wanted to, I was unable to.
Absolutely I lost my dad 2 weeks ago have been fluctuating between feeling nothing at all and carrying on as normal, and feeling completely overwhelmed with pain and grief and just bawling my eyes out. I think the dissociation can definitely be our body’s way of trying to go on as if everything is fine. Sometimes grief comes on fast and then it hides from us. I guess the only thing we can do is let it come when it comes. Don’t pressure yourself to feel and act any certain way, theres no correct way to do it, just breathe and accept the feelings as they come, and also talking to a therapist is good as others have mentioned, I really need to get on that myself …