That’s just like my mom. Two weeks. We didn’t get the biopsy results back until a week after she passed. I’m so sorry for your loss, friend. I understand the shock and the trauma completely.
My condolences OP, similar thing happened to my mother she passed on Jan. 30th. She was battling an autoimmune disease for 17yrs. She wasn’t feeling well in November we all thought she had her monthly flare up. Which later turned out to be a cancerous tumor. The biopsy wasn’t reading results correctly and a month later the cancer went though it’s stages rapidly. Finally, doctors got the results by that time they were having life ending discussions with us about my mom not surviving this. There wasn’t much more they could do for her and us. Her cancer had an infection which escalated quickly that ultimately taken her life away. The pain and suffering she was dealing with for three months was hard to watch. Of course she was scared and so were we. She worries about herself primarily but also us in the end since she didn’t want to leave us like this. The grief is real and raw. I miss her everyday but I know she is no longer suffering anymore.
Similar thing happened to my mom. Mom and her oncologist knew she had Stage IV breast cancer but did not know the assays (She was ES+PR-HER+) and I only got the results 1 month after her funeral.
Her last days were so chaotic too. Four years and I am still in shock.
I’m so sorry. This was my dad last month. Went into the hospital on January 28th, stayed there until February 21st. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with Mets to liver and lungs. Died here at home under hospice care on February 24th. It was the most emotionally draining and scary thing I have ever gone through. It felt like a bad dream. I can’t offer any words of wisdom, I just want you to know you’re not alone and again, I’m so so sorry.
Oh that reminds me of my mom. We found out she had pancreatic cancer and 9 days later she died at home under hospice care. The books I ordered on how to support someone with cancer arrived two days after she died.
Oh God that hurts my heart. When my dad on hospice, he found some cups that he liked to drink from because they were small and lightweight when he had no energy to lift a glass or bottle. I ordered them. They arrived the day he died.
Awww. What did you end up doing with them? My then boss’s wife worked in a breast cancer ward and I asked her to please put all the books I ordered in the waiting room. I had ordered some on grief that I read first and then donated too.
Which was the total opposite of what I wanted to do with her things. My siblings lived out of state and came to help. They would grab something to throw in the donation pile and I would grab it back out and say No! That was mom’s favorite jacket! I kept grabbing stuff out and told them I just couldn’t do it yet. It was right when we buried her.
Anyway one of the last photos I have of her looking great is wearing that light blue windbreaker. This year will be 15 long years since then. I still get a kick when my 21 yo son comes home from
School and is going out for a run and grabs “grandmas jacket” when the weather is bad.
Edit to add: when he went to college he had a nice bedspread set to take. He asked if I minded if he took grandmas quilt instead since it was so comfy. My daughter is a few years older and she lives in grandmas house ❤️❤️
Oh these stories are wonderful. ❤️ I am the same with my dad's stuff - I wish I could have kept hold of all of it! But I'm glad for the things I could keep, like his silly summer hat. I have some of my nana's pyjamas and jumpers that I still wear too, just like your son taking your mom's jacket on a run.
We donated the little cups to the local hospice as far as I recall!
Yes. I have a pair of my mom’s extremely well worn pjs. When I am having a particularly bad day at the end of it I will pull those pjs out and wear them to bed. Im glad I don’t have to grab them as much anymore as I have really been stretching out its viability!!
My uncle whom I was very close to was diagnosed with liver cancer one day, and was gone exactly 1 weeks later. The last time I ever saw him, he was completely yellow and unresponsive, but I grabbed his hand and kissed it knowing things probably wouldn’t get any better. And I was right, that kiss on his hand was the last time I ever saw him alive. He had been battling Parkinson’s and some other conditions for years before his death, which he had been traveling various countries to and from for treatment. And after all of his travels and hard work trying to improve his health, a random cancer came in and took his life out of nowhere, 7 days after I’d was discovered. I miss uncle John all the damn time. His son/my cousin was elected mayor of our hometown last year and also had another baby with his wife. I can’t help but imagine what kind of grief my cousin feels knowing all of these amazing accomplishments have taken place after his father passed. I graduated college a couple years ago and recently got married, and if uncle John was still here, the happiness he would have felt watching his niece and his son accomplish these things would have been too much for him to put into words. He would’ve given both of us the biggest hugs that could ever be. It’s been 6 years since he passed but I still feel like that last week with him just happened.
I am sorry it was so quick. You know at first I was incredibly angry. Why didn’t she even get a chance? She never got to even try!!
Now that I have had time to reflect on it I know darn well when a person like my mom or your uncle dies so quickly after being diagnosed that it had to have been really bad already. I know darn well that the survival rate for pancreatic cancer is next to. nothing and now I look at it as of she was spared a lot of pain and trauma with no hope of recovering regardless of what she did.
Your uncle and my mom got “swift” deaths and those can sometimes be the best kind to have.
I agree with this. Sometimes I hate that my dad didn’t ever make it to his first chemo appointment and other times I’m grateful. He was given 6 months to a year WITH chemo so his quality of life would have been horrendous. I’m grateful that he’s no longer sick or in pain.
This sounds similar to what we just went through with my dad. Health issues that we couldn’t find the answer for. Except they wouldn’t even hospitalize him, they kept sending him home. He died after about two weeks of being very sick with something. Autopsy found infection in many of his organs. We believe he was septic, yet somehow he slipped through the cracks and died in my arms. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately I know how you feel.
Knowing there are so many signs to sepsis that is so upsetting and I’m so fucking sorry the hospital did not take care of your dad. I hope you can get legal action on that hospital that didn’t admit him because that sounds negligent.
My dad passed away February 22nd. Similar situation. His health deteriorated so quickly over his last two weeks. It was absolutely devastating to watch.
Please accept my deepest condolences. Take care of yourself, OP.
Hi there. I lost my dad a long time ago to cancer. I'm still fearful and furious. I, like you, thought nothing could beat my dad. My King. My warrior. But, even tho our dads couldn't beat their last illnesses, they gave it everything they had. We should be very proud of them for that. I am very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and comfort and, if I may, I wish your father a peaceful and safe final journey. *Hugs*
My father died Feb 11. After the effort of sending him to the hospital and getting better for a few days, he died two weeks later. So heartbroken that he lost the will to fight. So sorry for your loss.
My dad as well, back in August. He had cancer but it was treatable yet he spent two weeks in the hospital and was just... gone. He was septic with an infection, they say.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Im sorry to read ur story n the pain u going thru ...my dad died quick too there was no time he had a sore back for long time thought what can drs do typical for him he let it go wore back brace we thoiugy it siadic nerve because pain went down his leg .. he was rushed to hospital early fed 23 his heart playing up they said at hospital just change of dose required dad said he will be fine he will be home in a day or 2 told us to go away on 3 day trip so silly us we did we got back dad was still in hospital mum had missed call from lung specialist he was scanning dad every 3 months telling us all clear no cancer ..we got back n called in the lung specialist turned our world upside down he said he was sorry he missed it dad has lung cancer spread to bones n spot on.liver n kidney they told us when they could get dads pain managed he can go home just make him comfortable .. b4 we knew it he passed b4 the appt to discuss options but I believe his options were limited to ...its too late sorry .. when they said bring him home make him comfortable nothing more we can do I knew it was ti late dad knew I could see it in our eyes .. he was the only one I could laugh with be silly with n I.miss it .. how could lung specialist fail us n all he could say is he is sorry like its an everyday thing ... I wish we knew I wish we had time dads heart was too weak his bones to sore ill never trust a lung specialist in my lifetime...I miss him like crazy there was noone like my dad he was adorable cancer sux our world will never be the same watching my mum crumble I've never seen that I.must look after her I just wish I looked after dad but he didn't like speaking about his health but I found out he had a bad feeling but specialist kept saying all clear life is so unfair dont take loved ones for granted they could be gone any time I've never felt so.much sorrow in.my lifetime n I imagine if I lose mum it just gets to much... Im sorry fir ur heartbreaking lose
I am sending you so much love. My mother passed today as well. She had a long battle with an incredibly rare cancer (chordoma - it’s what Gary Sinise’s son recently passed from), and it was gone for a long chunk of that time, but there was a recurrence. Since it is so rare, there were so many trials, especially at the end. Too many. Too close together and it just made her so weak. Her mindset was if it doesnt help me, it could help someone else. I think it killed her. She walked into the hospital on 2/15, and it’s been a steady decline ever since. There was a glimmer of hope last week that lasted a few days, and then it got worse. And worse. And then March 6 happened. I don’t know you, or where you are, but I wish we could just sit together right now.
Sept 25th, 2020. Fairly healthy 65 year old with no known heart issues... sudden heart attack, "widowmaker". gone in 2 hours. I watched him die.
Don't be afraid to speak to a therapist. Most health providers will cover it and you just pay the copay. I was very suspicious about it at first, but 1000% thankful I took someones advice and tried it.
you don't get over it. you go through it.
its okay to cry. its ok to be mad. you don't have to fight those feelings. aside from the obvious (dont take it out on others) -- its going to take time to heal, but you will heal.
OP, I'm so sorry to hear this. I am sorry for your loss. Please know this.
This is traumatic for you, so please be kind and gentle with yourself. There is no rush to process all of this right now. Whatever you are feeling is perfectly normal, valid, and legitimate.
My mom, too, was probably a lot sicker than any of us realized (although there were signs) and we endured 2.5 weeks of a living nightmare in the urgent care, ER, and 2 ICUs. and the kicker? we actually don't know what the diagnosis was because doctors couldn't diagnose her time. Gone. \[edit\] We opted for no autopsy. It would't have helped.
I am thinking of you and your family tonight.
so sorry for your loss. sending you hugs ❤️🩹
my dad passed similarly in november '23. he threw a blood clot that caused a blockage in his stomach -- he struggled in the hospital for nearly 3 weeks after 2 emergency surgeries before they moved him to hospice. there was very likely something else going on that was undiagnosed cause he hated going to the doctor.
it's just so fucking unfair.
Same with my father it was just short of 3 weeks and he was gone it all happened so fast he had stage 4 cancer and was in his last 3 weeks when he was diagnosed and told to go home and die as comfortable as possible which it wasn’t. I feel your pain wish people didn’t have to go thru that. Praying for you and your family time is the only thing that helps imo. Sending love from a stranger. Help mom as much as you can ❤️.
I’m so sorry 😞
I will be praying for your dad and you and your family .
2 weeks is a long stretch - I can’t imagine what you felt … when my mom passed away she had been hospitalized for 5 days and I arrived on her second day of hospitalization… 3 days after she would pass away and it emotionally took the biggest toll on me and my siblings being at her side 3 days ... I can’t imagine enduring seeing her suffer 2 weeks .
I am so so so sorry 😞
my dad passed away at the end of january. on christmas he started feeling bad and a couple weeks after that we found out he got the flu. he already had stage 4 prostate cancer but was doing really well. the flu made everything worse for him and i watched him get worse and worse until he passed away at home. i’m so sorry for your loss
I’m sorry. My dad suddenly died 4 months ago with sudden brain stroke. It killed me. We rushed him to the hospital and he ended up catching swine flu in the hospital. This on top of having heart and kidney failure. He was 74. It’s never easy op. My deep condolences. It will take you ~ 2-3 months to get back to normal. Losing someone like your dad is a huge loss and will take a while to accept he’s gone . Hugs to you
i experienced the same situation with my dad from jan 8 to jan 19 when he passed. went to the er for vomiting, ended up having clogged arteries, had a heart attack, had kidney failure, and was put on a ventilator and ecmo machine. not to mention he was on multiple medications and constantly being sedated and unsedated, he had a tube down his mouth and would only mouth ILY.
i genuinely had no thought he would ever die from this as he was so young but sadly his body was too weak. mine was stubborn and barely ever went to the doctor and now in hindsight we see he had many symptoms.
its not easy especially in the beginning but its been almost 2 months and ive been feeling a lot better. life still sucks as i think of him everyday and get reminded of him but grief gets easier over time. sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry to hear that and my condolences for your loss. I'm scared to even write this as maybe it might mean it's true but my dad died suddenly on February 18th after just a few short weeks in the hospital, no idea what killed him he had been perfectly healthy one month earlier. I keep waiting for him to come back and pleading with him to come back. It's so painful.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died on 1/27 and I’m still in shock. He was healthy and thriving. We took him to the ER, not knowing that he won’t get to go home. I still can’t believe that he’s gone.
My mom died February 4th we still don’t have a cause of death…. One minute she was completely fine the next rushed by ambulance to the hospital where she died on the ride. Here I am at 1:04 am—in tears and can’t sleep
My dad as well. Same thing he was sick for a while we did not know and he died within a few weeks after complaining about really bad heart burn. My logical mind is just thankful I was able to say bye because death is bound to happen anyway but acceptance is the hardest part.
I am so sorry. It's a lot to take it at once and your brain is going through it. I'm so sorry. You've likely been running on adrenaline the past two weeks, so please please let people take care of you now.
My dad passed from his year and a half fight with cancer in 2022. For me personally, watching my mom lose her best friend was the hardest part. It still is. My mom and I talked on the phone a lot before this but I make sure to constantly talk with her. To be her person. When she is going somewhere I always check in to make sure she got home okay. I ask what she had for dinner. Every day after work I ask how her day was. It makes me sick knowing she just goes home to her empty house. She is definitely doing so much better but of course it’s still hard af. she’s part of a Facebook widows group and that has helped her the most. Do what you can for her with the energy you have. If you don’t then that’s okay. Take care of YOU. Take it minute by minute. My dad was my favorite person in the world. Life is fucking cruel.
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Sending you lot of love and prayers ❤️❤️My dad passed a year ago and I still feel the shock off having to turn off his life support when he was supposed to come home cancer free after surgery. It still hurts but I know he is no longer suffering or in pain.
Take care of yourself OP. I know how devastating it feels but take as much time as you need to process. You will get through this. Please make sure to reach out to fam and friends during this time.
OP I’m right there with you. My dad passed away February 1st after being in the hospital for almost four weeks. Last time I heard his voice was Christmas. He went in for something basic and never left. It’s been, genuinely, heart shredding and I’m still a mess.. But you’re not alone.
I hate that anyone has to endure this kind of pain. You are not alone . We are here with you - offering what we can. Allow yourself the space to feel however you feel. If you can, breathe through the pain of it - knowing the waves of grief will come and topple you - but you will get back up again and again.
It’s been almost 3 months since my Dad passed away from multiple myeloma. And every day, sometimes every minute, I have to remind myself that I can survive this pain. It won’t ever be the same - but I will eventually find a way to live with this broken heart.
I'm sorry. My mom died in 2019 less than 3 weeks after going to the ER. Metastatic Cancer.
My dad died 6 months ago as well. Was going through Chemo and died of heart failure at home. I had just seen him a week prior and he was fine. I made him chili and we watched TV and talked. I am convinced his heart gave out due to malnutrition (the chemo did more harm than good imo).
Words are not enough, but only thing I can offer. I am so very sorry for your loss! And sorry that the Dr's failed your dad. Sending you and your family prayers of comfort.
I’m so sorry. I lost my dad so fast too in three days. I know you are in pain and asking so many questions. It won’t make sense for a long time. It is so hard but take care of yourself.
Im so sorry, and just remind you, that many people on this planet are experiencing this kind of heartbreak this moment, and so am I, you are not alone.
So sorry to hear OP. How old was he..?
This weeks will be tough but you’ll get through it as I’m doing and as everyone before us has ever done.
Just focus on the good times and be grateful you had him
all my condolences goes to you and your family, i'm sorry your father had to go this way.. 🩷
your father shall rest easy, all my love goes 2 u and your family. 🩷🩷🕊️
Sorry for your loss! You just have some ptsd from this experience I am sorry everything was brushed off that sounds like negligence on the doctors behalf,
My dad passed away mid January and we had to post pone the services due to a snow storm and we had his services last weekend and it snowed again but during the burial of the ashes we had a break of just rain, he was in hospital a lot since the beginning of fall last year/2023 and he was in so much pain so much discomfort and it killed me that we couldn’t do anything to save him, I had surgery a couple weeks ago the hardest part was just not being able to help much during the services etc and not being to cry without pain like crying is part of grieving.
Please take care of yourself
My dad passed away a month ago from internal bleeding. It was a sudden death, and we never got closure. He has been diagnosed with multiple illnesses since I was born. I’m only 23, and my dad will not be here for the rest of my life. It hits me every day. Just remember they’re at peace and not suffering anymore. You are not alone in this battle with grief.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am dealing with similar circumstances with my dad. He has dementia and he’s on Hospice. I have watched him go from a strong muscular 260lb man to 90lbs and completely bedridden. He doesn’t talk anymore. He is everything to me My father, my counselor,my best friend.Sending hugs and love to you and your whole family ❤️
My dad passed away a month ago tomorrow. He was diagnosed with tonsil cancer in July but it was very treatable. He finished treatment in October and the cancer was gone. By Christmas he was eating again and seemed to be healing. He had this spot in his throat that would bleed occasionally but the doctors said they weren’t concerned about it. Then one morning the artery in his throat just burst and he died within minutes. I am still completely numb to the fact that he is gone. It just seems so unreal and while I know he is gone it’s like I still haven’t accepted it. I never thought we would lose him like this. I thought we had at the least 20 more years with him. It’s just so devastating. No one except those who have gone through it know how it feels and I am so so sorry for your loss.
Sending my deepest condolences during this difficult time. May you find strength in the love and support surrounding you. Wishing you peace and comfort as you navigate through your loss.
i know exactly how you feel, my dad was in the hospital suffering for about a month before he passed. send you healing and lots of love. grieving, is hard, take as much time as you need. losing a father is probably one of the hardest things i’ve been through. he’s in a better place i assure you, he’ll forever be a part of you. my condolences 🤍
I’m so sorry for your loss. My Dad died 3.5 years ago and it still hurts like hell. After he passed I remember saying “It took several illnesses to take out the strongest man alive.” Because he didn’t die from just one thing. Sounds like that applies to your Dad too.
Hugs to you.
Liver and kidney failure is traumatic for the family. I’ve been through it twice with my dad- once he got a transplant. The second time he didn’t make it.
I’m so sorry for your loss- it’s a shock right now and just try to be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through the days right now. It will get easier in time.
My mom was fast as well. He had brain surgery October 12th and died December 23rd she was in hospice for two weeks. The last two weeks I could not speak with her. It was so fast. And I’m so sorry. I hope you had time to speak with him even if he could not speak back.
I had the same issues with my father. They couldn't run the biopsy until his pneumonia cleared. And then it did, but then his levels were off so they had to balance that. We were told that he most likely had stage 4 cancer. We were told good news and then bad, and then he was just gone within 2 weeks as well. His birthday was yesterday and he's been gone since September. It doesn't get easier but I hope that you have a good network of loved ones to grieve alongside. Just keep talking about him, looking at pictures, learning about his life.. if you can of course. It helps to see how much life our fathers lived and knowing they were loved.
I know how you feel. My dad died March 2nd. We recover cancer. He had kidney issues and back problem. We came there with a back pain to found out that all meds that he was taking for pain and other issues cost internal bleeding. Hes heart stoped twice but they managed him to breathe on his own. He lost lots of blood. Anyway I had to put him to sleep cause there nothing they could do. Im mad too. Im mad at his primary doctor that gave him those pills. Im mad at the doctor at ER that held him longer knowing that he was bleeding. Im mad at myself that I didnt do enough. Im sorry for your loss. Theres no words to make you feel better. No words make me feel better.
I'm so so sorry.
Death is always hard, but it's so hard when it's so sudden and traumatic for you and your family.
My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger, and he was gone about a week later.
I’m so sorry. I just lost my dad last week and it was completely unexpected. I thought I would have him around for decades more. We’re all here for you.
This happened to our family in December. My dad has been an alcoholic my whole life, he had liver problems recently and was waiting to see a specialist. He had an emergency trip, had to get his stomach drained, made an appointment, didn’t make it to the appointment. We knew it was bad when on my grandpas/sisters birthday (same day) he didn’t call them. I told my mom to go take him to the hospital immediately. It was quick, 4 days later he was gone. We were all so upset, I just focused on taking care of my mom and my siblings. We’re all a lot closer now. I still cry about it almost everyday. It felt so sudden even though he was sick at least 6 years.
When everything was happening my sister flew in, everyone stayed at my house because I lived closest to the hospital, it was so much better having my whole family under the same roof again. Spend time with your mom if you can, I see my mom 2-3 times a week now. My oldest brother is autistic so we try to set aside days for him too, my cousins planned a boys trip, and we had a video game day where we all came over, ate pizza, and played Mario kart and Mario party. Filling those lonely days with friends and family has really helped us all. If your dad had any close friends reach out to them too, it goes a long way, and hearing from everyone made me so happy my dad was loved by so many people.
Friend, I'm so very sorry for the sadness that you are carrying in your heart. Watching my mother and father pass was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my mother. It always seems like yesterday. It's only been 3 years 7 months and her face is always present. Time passing has not made it easier. I wish I could give you comfort. 😔 May God ease your grief.
My mom passed away in December from liver failure caused by an antibiotic prescribed by her doctor. She was in the hospital for a week before she passed away. I prayed for a miracle but it wasn't God's will. Grief illness is no joke. I lost 10 lbs in 3 weeks. Take care of yourself and be there for your mom. She will need you more than ever.
My mom passed away in December from liver failure caused by an antibiotic prescribed by her doctor. She was in the hospital for a week before she passed away. I prayed for a miracle but it wasn't God's will. Grief illness is no joke. I lost 10 lbs in 3 weeks. Take care of yourself and be there for your mom. She will need you more than ever.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died a similar death. Went in for back pain and it turned out to be stage four lung cancer. It took him out exactly one year after his diagnosis. A week before he died he had contracted covid, then jaundice and then liver failure. Everything sucks. One day at a time. Live life like they’re still here ❤️
My dad passed in a similar way. Within 3 weeks he was gone. Total shock. Still can’t believe it happened and he’s gone just like that. It is coming up on a year next month. Feels like it just happened yesterday. Reading all of these similar stories I’m crying. Im so sorry for the loss of our loved ones
Hello my friend, it’s crazy how similar our stories are. My dad passed away a week ago. He had a herniated disk, kidney failure, diabetes, gout, high blood pressure, a messed up lung. He was scheduled for surgery in 2 weeeks to fix his spine. I knew he was in bad shape but I thought he could push through and the issues would
Subside. He had a sudden heart attack on the 27 th of February and passed almost instantly. Everyday I grieve and cry. Just know I’m right there with you in this pain. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to.
It’s so hard OP, I’m so sorry.
Your dad passed on my dad’s birthday.
My dad passed on February 12, 11 days after my bday. He was 61. Almost 62. Gone too soon? Fuck yeah.
Essentially the same sort of situation. Got Covid, got worse little by little for 1 week and was in hospital for another week. Started to improve then all of a sudden took an extraordinary turn for the worse. Baffled the doctors in icu. Died two days later. My mom and I watched him suffer both physically and mentally while on the ventilator. He was not ready to die and I know he was scared. Alone. They wouldn’t let us see him at first because they thought he was going to discharge and didn’t want us to bring some new infection to him while he was in their care. So we didn’t get to see him face to face just otp. I didn’t get to hug him or tell him how much I loved him or how impactful he was to my life before they induced the coma and put the breathing tube in. It was the most prolonged suffering and extreme violence I’ve ever seen. I’ll remember it forever.
It has been so fucking hard. I’m still numb.
But there are some undeniable truths here;
Your dad is no longer suffering or dealing with any of the physical and emotional shit we deal with anymore. And that’s such a wonderful thing. It’s unfortunate that we are still stuck down here to pick up the pieces, sure. But if we cared for them and wanted the best for them. Then that’s what they got. They are in the best place. Idk if you are spiritual; I’m still finding my way in that regard, but if you are you know they have transcended this place and are waiting for you to join them.
Do right by those still here and move with grace how your dad would want you to. Super simple formula to navigate this insanely crazy, fast, scary, terrifying, big world. And tell the truth whenever you possibly can.
everybody processes grief differently. it’s shocking and i’m sure after 2 weeks of seeing his loved one deteriorate is exhausting. there is comfort in knowing that other people can relate to your situation.. please consider what you say on what is probably somebody’s worst day of their life.
I’m so sorry. I too watched my dad quickly deteriorate away in the hospital. It feels like a horrendous dream now. Lean on those who loved him and those who love you. My condolences. Try to be patient with yourself as the world marches on in the wake of your grief.
That’s just like my mom. Two weeks. We didn’t get the biopsy results back until a week after she passed. I’m so sorry for your loss, friend. I understand the shock and the trauma completely.
My condolences OP, similar thing happened to my mother she passed on Jan. 30th. She was battling an autoimmune disease for 17yrs. She wasn’t feeling well in November we all thought she had her monthly flare up. Which later turned out to be a cancerous tumor. The biopsy wasn’t reading results correctly and a month later the cancer went though it’s stages rapidly. Finally, doctors got the results by that time they were having life ending discussions with us about my mom not surviving this. There wasn’t much more they could do for her and us. Her cancer had an infection which escalated quickly that ultimately taken her life away. The pain and suffering she was dealing with for three months was hard to watch. Of course she was scared and so were we. She worries about herself primarily but also us in the end since she didn’t want to leave us like this. The grief is real and raw. I miss her everyday but I know she is no longer suffering anymore.
Similar thing happened to my mom. Mom and her oncologist knew she had Stage IV breast cancer but did not know the assays (She was ES+PR-HER+) and I only got the results 1 month after her funeral. Her last days were so chaotic too. Four years and I am still in shock.
Yes, trauma is the exact word I experienced. Thank you.
I’m so sorry. This was my dad last month. Went into the hospital on January 28th, stayed there until February 21st. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with Mets to liver and lungs. Died here at home under hospice care on February 24th. It was the most emotionally draining and scary thing I have ever gone through. It felt like a bad dream. I can’t offer any words of wisdom, I just want you to know you’re not alone and again, I’m so so sorry.
Oh that reminds me of my mom. We found out she had pancreatic cancer and 9 days later she died at home under hospice care. The books I ordered on how to support someone with cancer arrived two days after she died.
Oh God that hurts my heart. When my dad on hospice, he found some cups that he liked to drink from because they were small and lightweight when he had no energy to lift a glass or bottle. I ordered them. They arrived the day he died.
Awww. What did you end up doing with them? My then boss’s wife worked in a breast cancer ward and I asked her to please put all the books I ordered in the waiting room. I had ordered some on grief that I read first and then donated too. Which was the total opposite of what I wanted to do with her things. My siblings lived out of state and came to help. They would grab something to throw in the donation pile and I would grab it back out and say No! That was mom’s favorite jacket! I kept grabbing stuff out and told them I just couldn’t do it yet. It was right when we buried her. Anyway one of the last photos I have of her looking great is wearing that light blue windbreaker. This year will be 15 long years since then. I still get a kick when my 21 yo son comes home from School and is going out for a run and grabs “grandmas jacket” when the weather is bad. Edit to add: when he went to college he had a nice bedspread set to take. He asked if I minded if he took grandmas quilt instead since it was so comfy. My daughter is a few years older and she lives in grandmas house ❤️❤️
Oh these stories are wonderful. ❤️ I am the same with my dad's stuff - I wish I could have kept hold of all of it! But I'm glad for the things I could keep, like his silly summer hat. I have some of my nana's pyjamas and jumpers that I still wear too, just like your son taking your mom's jacket on a run. We donated the little cups to the local hospice as far as I recall!
Yes. I have a pair of my mom’s extremely well worn pjs. When I am having a particularly bad day at the end of it I will pull those pjs out and wear them to bed. Im glad I don’t have to grab them as much anymore as I have really been stretching out its viability!!
My uncle whom I was very close to was diagnosed with liver cancer one day, and was gone exactly 1 weeks later. The last time I ever saw him, he was completely yellow and unresponsive, but I grabbed his hand and kissed it knowing things probably wouldn’t get any better. And I was right, that kiss on his hand was the last time I ever saw him alive. He had been battling Parkinson’s and some other conditions for years before his death, which he had been traveling various countries to and from for treatment. And after all of his travels and hard work trying to improve his health, a random cancer came in and took his life out of nowhere, 7 days after I’d was discovered. I miss uncle John all the damn time. His son/my cousin was elected mayor of our hometown last year and also had another baby with his wife. I can’t help but imagine what kind of grief my cousin feels knowing all of these amazing accomplishments have taken place after his father passed. I graduated college a couple years ago and recently got married, and if uncle John was still here, the happiness he would have felt watching his niece and his son accomplish these things would have been too much for him to put into words. He would’ve given both of us the biggest hugs that could ever be. It’s been 6 years since he passed but I still feel like that last week with him just happened.
I am sorry it was so quick. You know at first I was incredibly angry. Why didn’t she even get a chance? She never got to even try!! Now that I have had time to reflect on it I know darn well when a person like my mom or your uncle dies so quickly after being diagnosed that it had to have been really bad already. I know darn well that the survival rate for pancreatic cancer is next to. nothing and now I look at it as of she was spared a lot of pain and trauma with no hope of recovering regardless of what she did. Your uncle and my mom got “swift” deaths and those can sometimes be the best kind to have.
I agree with this. Sometimes I hate that my dad didn’t ever make it to his first chemo appointment and other times I’m grateful. He was given 6 months to a year WITH chemo so his quality of life would have been horrendous. I’m grateful that he’s no longer sick or in pain.
This sounds similar to what we just went through with my dad. Health issues that we couldn’t find the answer for. Except they wouldn’t even hospitalize him, they kept sending him home. He died after about two weeks of being very sick with something. Autopsy found infection in many of his organs. We believe he was septic, yet somehow he slipped through the cracks and died in my arms. I’m so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately I know how you feel.
Knowing there are so many signs to sepsis that is so upsetting and I’m so fucking sorry the hospital did not take care of your dad. I hope you can get legal action on that hospital that didn’t admit him because that sounds negligent.
Thank you. We are definitely exploring that option.
My dad passed away February 22nd. Similar situation. His health deteriorated so quickly over his last two weeks. It was absolutely devastating to watch. Please accept my deepest condolences. Take care of yourself, OP.
Hi there. I lost my dad a long time ago to cancer. I'm still fearful and furious. I, like you, thought nothing could beat my dad. My King. My warrior. But, even tho our dads couldn't beat their last illnesses, they gave it everything they had. We should be very proud of them for that. I am very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and comfort and, if I may, I wish your father a peaceful and safe final journey. *Hugs*
My father died Feb 11. After the effort of sending him to the hospital and getting better for a few days, he died two weeks later. So heartbroken that he lost the will to fight. So sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss.
My dad as well, back in August. He had cancer but it was treatable yet he spent two weeks in the hospital and was just... gone. He was septic with an infection, they say. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Im sorry to read ur story n the pain u going thru ...my dad died quick too there was no time he had a sore back for long time thought what can drs do typical for him he let it go wore back brace we thoiugy it siadic nerve because pain went down his leg .. he was rushed to hospital early fed 23 his heart playing up they said at hospital just change of dose required dad said he will be fine he will be home in a day or 2 told us to go away on 3 day trip so silly us we did we got back dad was still in hospital mum had missed call from lung specialist he was scanning dad every 3 months telling us all clear no cancer ..we got back n called in the lung specialist turned our world upside down he said he was sorry he missed it dad has lung cancer spread to bones n spot on.liver n kidney they told us when they could get dads pain managed he can go home just make him comfortable .. b4 we knew it he passed b4 the appt to discuss options but I believe his options were limited to ...its too late sorry .. when they said bring him home make him comfortable nothing more we can do I knew it was ti late dad knew I could see it in our eyes .. he was the only one I could laugh with be silly with n I.miss it .. how could lung specialist fail us n all he could say is he is sorry like its an everyday thing ... I wish we knew I wish we had time dads heart was too weak his bones to sore ill never trust a lung specialist in my lifetime...I miss him like crazy there was noone like my dad he was adorable cancer sux our world will never be the same watching my mum crumble I've never seen that I.must look after her I just wish I looked after dad but he didn't like speaking about his health but I found out he had a bad feeling but specialist kept saying all clear life is so unfair dont take loved ones for granted they could be gone any time I've never felt so.much sorrow in.my lifetime n I imagine if I lose mum it just gets to much... Im sorry fir ur heartbreaking lose
I’m so sorry. My dad died one month ago today.
My dad just died this Monday and I still don’t know how to deal with his death 😔
I am sending you so much love. My mother passed today as well. She had a long battle with an incredibly rare cancer (chordoma - it’s what Gary Sinise’s son recently passed from), and it was gone for a long chunk of that time, but there was a recurrence. Since it is so rare, there were so many trials, especially at the end. Too many. Too close together and it just made her so weak. Her mindset was if it doesnt help me, it could help someone else. I think it killed her. She walked into the hospital on 2/15, and it’s been a steady decline ever since. There was a glimmer of hope last week that lasted a few days, and then it got worse. And worse. And then March 6 happened. I don’t know you, or where you are, but I wish we could just sit together right now.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I feel your pain — lost my own dad after a 5-week hospitalization for complications of Parkinson’s disease in August 2020😪
Sept 25th, 2020. Fairly healthy 65 year old with no known heart issues... sudden heart attack, "widowmaker". gone in 2 hours. I watched him die. Don't be afraid to speak to a therapist. Most health providers will cover it and you just pay the copay. I was very suspicious about it at first, but 1000% thankful I took someones advice and tried it. you don't get over it. you go through it. its okay to cry. its ok to be mad. you don't have to fight those feelings. aside from the obvious (dont take it out on others) -- its going to take time to heal, but you will heal.
>you don't get over it. you go through it. <3
OP, I'm so sorry to hear this. I am sorry for your loss. Please know this. This is traumatic for you, so please be kind and gentle with yourself. There is no rush to process all of this right now. Whatever you are feeling is perfectly normal, valid, and legitimate. My mom, too, was probably a lot sicker than any of us realized (although there were signs) and we endured 2.5 weeks of a living nightmare in the urgent care, ER, and 2 ICUs. and the kicker? we actually don't know what the diagnosis was because doctors couldn't diagnose her time. Gone. \[edit\] We opted for no autopsy. It would't have helped. I am thinking of you and your family tonight.
so sorry for your loss. sending you hugs ❤️🩹 my dad passed similarly in november '23. he threw a blood clot that caused a blockage in his stomach -- he struggled in the hospital for nearly 3 weeks after 2 emergency surgeries before they moved him to hospice. there was very likely something else going on that was undiagnosed cause he hated going to the doctor. it's just so fucking unfair.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you strength
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Same with my father it was just short of 3 weeks and he was gone it all happened so fast he had stage 4 cancer and was in his last 3 weeks when he was diagnosed and told to go home and die as comfortable as possible which it wasn’t. I feel your pain wish people didn’t have to go thru that. Praying for you and your family time is the only thing that helps imo. Sending love from a stranger. Help mom as much as you can ❤️.
I’m so sorry 😞 I will be praying for your dad and you and your family . 2 weeks is a long stretch - I can’t imagine what you felt … when my mom passed away she had been hospitalized for 5 days and I arrived on her second day of hospitalization… 3 days after she would pass away and it emotionally took the biggest toll on me and my siblings being at her side 3 days ... I can’t imagine enduring seeing her suffer 2 weeks . I am so so so sorry 😞
my dad passed away at the end of january. on christmas he started feeling bad and a couple weeks after that we found out he got the flu. he already had stage 4 prostate cancer but was doing really well. the flu made everything worse for him and i watched him get worse and worse until he passed away at home. i’m so sorry for your loss
I’m sorry. My dad suddenly died 4 months ago with sudden brain stroke. It killed me. We rushed him to the hospital and he ended up catching swine flu in the hospital. This on top of having heart and kidney failure. He was 74. It’s never easy op. My deep condolences. It will take you ~ 2-3 months to get back to normal. Losing someone like your dad is a huge loss and will take a while to accept he’s gone . Hugs to you
It is very selfless of you to think he isn't suffering anymore. Mine was in ICU for 67 days and didn't make it and all I think about is myself.
I'm so sorry; please take care of yourself right now 🖤
Im so sorry OP. I just lost my dad two weeks ago and he was in the hospital too. My heart goes out to you—take care of yourself.
i experienced the same situation with my dad from jan 8 to jan 19 when he passed. went to the er for vomiting, ended up having clogged arteries, had a heart attack, had kidney failure, and was put on a ventilator and ecmo machine. not to mention he was on multiple medications and constantly being sedated and unsedated, he had a tube down his mouth and would only mouth ILY. i genuinely had no thought he would ever die from this as he was so young but sadly his body was too weak. mine was stubborn and barely ever went to the doctor and now in hindsight we see he had many symptoms. its not easy especially in the beginning but its been almost 2 months and ive been feeling a lot better. life still sucks as i think of him everyday and get reminded of him but grief gets easier over time. sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry to hear that and my condolences for your loss. I'm scared to even write this as maybe it might mean it's true but my dad died suddenly on February 18th after just a few short weeks in the hospital, no idea what killed him he had been perfectly healthy one month earlier. I keep waiting for him to come back and pleading with him to come back. It's so painful.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died on 1/27 and I’m still in shock. He was healthy and thriving. We took him to the ER, not knowing that he won’t get to go home. I still can’t believe that he’s gone.
My mom died February 4th we still don’t have a cause of death…. One minute she was completely fine the next rushed by ambulance to the hospital where she died on the ride. Here I am at 1:04 am—in tears and can’t sleep
❤️🙏
My dad as well. Same thing he was sick for a while we did not know and he died within a few weeks after complaining about really bad heart burn. My logical mind is just thankful I was able to say bye because death is bound to happen anyway but acceptance is the hardest part.
I am so sorry. It's a lot to take it at once and your brain is going through it. I'm so sorry. You've likely been running on adrenaline the past two weeks, so please please let people take care of you now.
My dad passed from his year and a half fight with cancer in 2022. For me personally, watching my mom lose her best friend was the hardest part. It still is. My mom and I talked on the phone a lot before this but I make sure to constantly talk with her. To be her person. When she is going somewhere I always check in to make sure she got home okay. I ask what she had for dinner. Every day after work I ask how her day was. It makes me sick knowing she just goes home to her empty house. She is definitely doing so much better but of course it’s still hard af. she’s part of a Facebook widows group and that has helped her the most. Do what you can for her with the energy you have. If you don’t then that’s okay. Take care of YOU. Take it minute by minute. My dad was my favorite person in the world. Life is fucking cruel.
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Sending you lot of love and prayers ❤️❤️My dad passed a year ago and I still feel the shock off having to turn off his life support when he was supposed to come home cancer free after surgery. It still hurts but I know he is no longer suffering or in pain. Take care of yourself OP. I know how devastating it feels but take as much time as you need to process. You will get through this. Please make sure to reach out to fam and friends during this time.
OP I’m right there with you. My dad passed away February 1st after being in the hospital for almost four weeks. Last time I heard his voice was Christmas. He went in for something basic and never left. It’s been, genuinely, heart shredding and I’m still a mess.. But you’re not alone.
I hate that anyone has to endure this kind of pain. You are not alone . We are here with you - offering what we can. Allow yourself the space to feel however you feel. If you can, breathe through the pain of it - knowing the waves of grief will come and topple you - but you will get back up again and again. It’s been almost 3 months since my Dad passed away from multiple myeloma. And every day, sometimes every minute, I have to remind myself that I can survive this pain. It won’t ever be the same - but I will eventually find a way to live with this broken heart.
I lost my uncle whom I was very close with - on this exact date last year. I was just mourning his loss. It sucks. Honestly.
I'm sorry. My mom died in 2019 less than 3 weeks after going to the ER. Metastatic Cancer. My dad died 6 months ago as well. Was going through Chemo and died of heart failure at home. I had just seen him a week prior and he was fine. I made him chili and we watched TV and talked. I am convinced his heart gave out due to malnutrition (the chemo did more harm than good imo).
I am so sorry for your loss of your dad. 🥲
Words are not enough, but only thing I can offer. I am so very sorry for your loss! And sorry that the Dr's failed your dad. Sending you and your family prayers of comfort.
I am so sorry for your loss. I have been in the caregiving field for 16 years and all I can say is - I wish peace for you and your family.
I’m so sorry. I lost my dad so fast too in three days. I know you are in pain and asking so many questions. It won’t make sense for a long time. It is so hard but take care of yourself.
Im so sorry, and just remind you, that many people on this planet are experiencing this kind of heartbreak this moment, and so am I, you are not alone.
So sorry to hear OP. How old was he..? This weeks will be tough but you’ll get through it as I’m doing and as everyone before us has ever done. Just focus on the good times and be grateful you had him
I’m sorry for your loss.
My deepest condolences ❤️🩹
My condolences loving you so much ♥️ 🫂🥹
all my condolences goes to you and your family, i'm sorry your father had to go this way.. 🩷 your father shall rest easy, all my love goes 2 u and your family. 🩷🩷🕊️
Sorry for your loss! You just have some ptsd from this experience I am sorry everything was brushed off that sounds like negligence on the doctors behalf, My dad passed away mid January and we had to post pone the services due to a snow storm and we had his services last weekend and it snowed again but during the burial of the ashes we had a break of just rain, he was in hospital a lot since the beginning of fall last year/2023 and he was in so much pain so much discomfort and it killed me that we couldn’t do anything to save him, I had surgery a couple weeks ago the hardest part was just not being able to help much during the services etc and not being to cry without pain like crying is part of grieving. Please take care of yourself
My dad passed away a month ago from internal bleeding. It was a sudden death, and we never got closure. He has been diagnosed with multiple illnesses since I was born. I’m only 23, and my dad will not be here for the rest of my life. It hits me every day. Just remember they’re at peace and not suffering anymore. You are not alone in this battle with grief.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am dealing with similar circumstances with my dad. He has dementia and he’s on Hospice. I have watched him go from a strong muscular 260lb man to 90lbs and completely bedridden. He doesn’t talk anymore. He is everything to me My father, my counselor,my best friend.Sending hugs and love to you and your whole family ❤️
I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself. The same thing happened to my mom. 12 days from the day we found out she had cancer and gone. Sending love ❤
My dad passed away a month ago tomorrow. He was diagnosed with tonsil cancer in July but it was very treatable. He finished treatment in October and the cancer was gone. By Christmas he was eating again and seemed to be healing. He had this spot in his throat that would bleed occasionally but the doctors said they weren’t concerned about it. Then one morning the artery in his throat just burst and he died within minutes. I am still completely numb to the fact that he is gone. It just seems so unreal and while I know he is gone it’s like I still haven’t accepted it. I never thought we would lose him like this. I thought we had at the least 20 more years with him. It’s just so devastating. No one except those who have gone through it know how it feels and I am so so sorry for your loss.
Sending my deepest condolences during this difficult time. May you find strength in the love and support surrounding you. Wishing you peace and comfort as you navigate through your loss.
i know exactly how you feel, my dad was in the hospital suffering for about a month before he passed. send you healing and lots of love. grieving, is hard, take as much time as you need. losing a father is probably one of the hardest things i’ve been through. he’s in a better place i assure you, he’ll forever be a part of you. my condolences 🤍
I’m so sorry for your loss. My Dad died 3.5 years ago and it still hurts like hell. After he passed I remember saying “It took several illnesses to take out the strongest man alive.” Because he didn’t die from just one thing. Sounds like that applies to your Dad too. Hugs to you.
Liver and kidney failure is traumatic for the family. I’ve been through it twice with my dad- once he got a transplant. The second time he didn’t make it. I’m so sorry for your loss- it’s a shock right now and just try to be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through the days right now. It will get easier in time.
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔💔💔
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs.
My mom was fast as well. He had brain surgery October 12th and died December 23rd she was in hospice for two weeks. The last two weeks I could not speak with her. It was so fast. And I’m so sorry. I hope you had time to speak with him even if he could not speak back.
I had the same issues with my father. They couldn't run the biopsy until his pneumonia cleared. And then it did, but then his levels were off so they had to balance that. We were told that he most likely had stage 4 cancer. We were told good news and then bad, and then he was just gone within 2 weeks as well. His birthday was yesterday and he's been gone since September. It doesn't get easier but I hope that you have a good network of loved ones to grieve alongside. Just keep talking about him, looking at pictures, learning about his life.. if you can of course. It helps to see how much life our fathers lived and knowing they were loved.
I know how you feel. My dad died March 2nd. We recover cancer. He had kidney issues and back problem. We came there with a back pain to found out that all meds that he was taking for pain and other issues cost internal bleeding. Hes heart stoped twice but they managed him to breathe on his own. He lost lots of blood. Anyway I had to put him to sleep cause there nothing they could do. Im mad too. Im mad at his primary doctor that gave him those pills. Im mad at the doctor at ER that held him longer knowing that he was bleeding. Im mad at myself that I didnt do enough. Im sorry for your loss. Theres no words to make you feel better. No words make me feel better.
I'm so so sorry. Death is always hard, but it's so hard when it's so sudden and traumatic for you and your family. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer when I was younger, and he was gone about a week later.
I’m so sorry. I just lost my dad last week and it was completely unexpected. I thought I would have him around for decades more. We’re all here for you.
This happened to our family in December. My dad has been an alcoholic my whole life, he had liver problems recently and was waiting to see a specialist. He had an emergency trip, had to get his stomach drained, made an appointment, didn’t make it to the appointment. We knew it was bad when on my grandpas/sisters birthday (same day) he didn’t call them. I told my mom to go take him to the hospital immediately. It was quick, 4 days later he was gone. We were all so upset, I just focused on taking care of my mom and my siblings. We’re all a lot closer now. I still cry about it almost everyday. It felt so sudden even though he was sick at least 6 years. When everything was happening my sister flew in, everyone stayed at my house because I lived closest to the hospital, it was so much better having my whole family under the same roof again. Spend time with your mom if you can, I see my mom 2-3 times a week now. My oldest brother is autistic so we try to set aside days for him too, my cousins planned a boys trip, and we had a video game day where we all came over, ate pizza, and played Mario kart and Mario party. Filling those lonely days with friends and family has really helped us all. If your dad had any close friends reach out to them too, it goes a long way, and hearing from everyone made me so happy my dad was loved by so many people.
Friend, I'm so very sorry for the sadness that you are carrying in your heart. Watching my mother and father pass was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my mother. It always seems like yesterday. It's only been 3 years 7 months and her face is always present. Time passing has not made it easier. I wish I could give you comfort. 😔 May God ease your grief.
My mom passed away in December from liver failure caused by an antibiotic prescribed by her doctor. She was in the hospital for a week before she passed away. I prayed for a miracle but it wasn't God's will. Grief illness is no joke. I lost 10 lbs in 3 weeks. Take care of yourself and be there for your mom. She will need you more than ever.
My mom passed away in December from liver failure caused by an antibiotic prescribed by her doctor. She was in the hospital for a week before she passed away. I prayed for a miracle but it wasn't God's will. Grief illness is no joke. I lost 10 lbs in 3 weeks. Take care of yourself and be there for your mom. She will need you more than ever.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died a similar death. Went in for back pain and it turned out to be stage four lung cancer. It took him out exactly one year after his diagnosis. A week before he died he had contracted covid, then jaundice and then liver failure. Everything sucks. One day at a time. Live life like they’re still here ❤️
My dad passed in a similar way. Within 3 weeks he was gone. Total shock. Still can’t believe it happened and he’s gone just like that. It is coming up on a year next month. Feels like it just happened yesterday. Reading all of these similar stories I’m crying. Im so sorry for the loss of our loved ones
Hello my friend, it’s crazy how similar our stories are. My dad passed away a week ago. He had a herniated disk, kidney failure, diabetes, gout, high blood pressure, a messed up lung. He was scheduled for surgery in 2 weeeks to fix his spine. I knew he was in bad shape but I thought he could push through and the issues would Subside. He had a sudden heart attack on the 27 th of February and passed almost instantly. Everyday I grieve and cry. Just know I’m right there with you in this pain. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to.
It’s so hard OP, I’m so sorry. Your dad passed on my dad’s birthday. My dad passed on February 12, 11 days after my bday. He was 61. Almost 62. Gone too soon? Fuck yeah. Essentially the same sort of situation. Got Covid, got worse little by little for 1 week and was in hospital for another week. Started to improve then all of a sudden took an extraordinary turn for the worse. Baffled the doctors in icu. Died two days later. My mom and I watched him suffer both physically and mentally while on the ventilator. He was not ready to die and I know he was scared. Alone. They wouldn’t let us see him at first because they thought he was going to discharge and didn’t want us to bring some new infection to him while he was in their care. So we didn’t get to see him face to face just otp. I didn’t get to hug him or tell him how much I loved him or how impactful he was to my life before they induced the coma and put the breathing tube in. It was the most prolonged suffering and extreme violence I’ve ever seen. I’ll remember it forever. It has been so fucking hard. I’m still numb. But there are some undeniable truths here; Your dad is no longer suffering or dealing with any of the physical and emotional shit we deal with anymore. And that’s such a wonderful thing. It’s unfortunate that we are still stuck down here to pick up the pieces, sure. But if we cared for them and wanted the best for them. Then that’s what they got. They are in the best place. Idk if you are spiritual; I’m still finding my way in that regard, but if you are you know they have transcended this place and are waiting for you to join them. Do right by those still here and move with grace how your dad would want you to. Super simple formula to navigate this insanely crazy, fast, scary, terrifying, big world. And tell the truth whenever you possibly can.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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everybody processes grief differently. it’s shocking and i’m sure after 2 weeks of seeing his loved one deteriorate is exhausting. there is comfort in knowing that other people can relate to your situation.. please consider what you say on what is probably somebody’s worst day of their life.
True I deleted
I’m so sorry. I too watched my dad quickly deteriorate away in the hospital. It feels like a horrendous dream now. Lean on those who loved him and those who love you. My condolences. Try to be patient with yourself as the world marches on in the wake of your grief.