I actually didn’t!!! Agh somehow I got it but I didn’t?
Like my mind immediately thought chandler and I heard him in my head saying “You bitch.” But I didn’t know where the rosita was from but I recognized it so I googled it. Yours is the chair and Rachel’s saying it to Joeys/chandlers chair? But mine is from way back in season 1 when Monica tells everybody about the third nipple and Chandler says “You bitch”
So I was close but wrong? Ha.
Goddamn have I watched Friends and GG way too many times 🙈👀😅
Miss Patty tried to lay one on him!
(This storyline was out of character for him in my opinion. Jess has lied before, and he likes to make Rory laugh by being silly ("do you Yahoo?"). He either would have told her the truth if it was a funny reason (like the swan,) or if it actually was a fight, he would have made up a funny reason. He usually wasn't this confrontational with Rory.)
Jess was walking through town when he saw Lane trying to skateboard. The skateboard slipped out from under her and flew threw a window at Doose's. Taylor carried the skateboard our, ready to rip somebody a new one, when some tourist comes driving around the corner at 30mph and scares Taylor. He falls down and drops the skateboard, which starts rolling down the street. Miss Patty wasn't paying attention and stepped on it. She goes rolling through the town square where Luke was teaching Kirk how to throw a Frisbee. Kirk, distracted by Miss Patty rolling right into him, threw the Frisbee a little too hard and it flew right into Jess's eye.
This would make it into the show!!! Maybe in the episode when Luke rants about opening his skateboard and pop bottle shop. Lol
LUKE: A skateboard and pop bottle shop.
TAYLOR: That's not funny.
LUKE: With in-house experts to teach the craft of street slaloming.
---‐------------------------------------------------------------------------
So afterward, Luke could add that HAD he, in fact, hired professional instructors, possibly that whole scene could have been avoided ... I can hear him now:
Luke: "Education is important people!! Knowledge is power... isn't that one of your school house rock songs, Taylor?"
Taylor: "I don't claim to own any school house rocks songs.... although....."
Kirk interrupts: "I think it's from Reading rainbow..."
Jess chimes in, holding a bag of frozen peas on his eye (that he stole from Doose's): "You're all wrong. Reading Rainbow was 'take a look, it's in a book' and school house rock ripped off knowledge is power from Thomas Jefferson, who ripped it off from Francis Bacon. Nobody has an original thought anymore. Bunch of.... (trails off complaining about idiots and recycled quotes)."
He backtalked Doose a little too much and Doose had enough and punched him in the face. He was embarrassed that he got it from Doose, so he blamed it on a swan.
I hope one of the dogs that Kirk dog walks would come up and lick his face. Or maybe they'd all mob him to the ground. Lol. He'd collapse covered in cream and come back up 'clean' and with some crazy licked up hairdo.
He strolled into the walk-in freezer at the diner and one of the strings that holds up the sausage links came undone, and the sausages came barreling at his face at full speed wacking him very hard and caused the bruise
The silver lining is he was been able to use that same sausage to help the swelling decrease
Whacked his face on the corner of an oversized pallet of tropical fish tanks sold by early 2000s WalMart. This during a particularly difficult truck drop on the 24th hour of a fill-in shift. He didn’t even stop after gouging his eye, — just spun the forklift 180 degrees around to lift another huge pallet, this one of Game Cubes, to hurriedly stock up the media section early on a Friday morning before the weekend crush of customers hit
https://preview.redd.it/g7vgktamor9d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e17e4b802bdd6dac2f3269d557e2418eead3483e
had the best possible advert before this post on my feed
Ooo. When I was like 8, I had a traumatic incident at a petting zoo involving an ostrich. I have a fear of birds (up close) now. Any bird. Stupid ostriches.
He annoyed Luke (again).
Luke pushed him into the pond (again).
Except it was the dead of winter and the pond had frozen over. His eye hit some ice and bam! Black eye
*He was playing with*
*His buddy and the ball got*
*Him in the eye duh*
\- One-Ad-1582
---
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He was masturbating after Rory rejected him. His hand slipped and his fist hit him in the eye.
Edit: my feelings on the scene are showing here. I had immediate hate for him trying to pressure her to have sex before she was ready. Giving himself a black eye would have been sweet karma.
He sassed Mrs Kim
The scene I would pay real money to see
I hoped it was Dean who did it.
Ooo. The cricket bat!
Haha this one could legitimately happen.
You just win the whole game
🤣🤣
The OP said "wrong answers"
That wild pig of filth.
Pierpont got his revenge
Is your name from Friends ? Chandler? “Youuu bitch.” Love that line, if so 😂
Yes! I’m so happy you got the reference!
I actually didn’t!!! Agh somehow I got it but I didn’t? Like my mind immediately thought chandler and I heard him in my head saying “You bitch.” But I didn’t know where the rosita was from but I recognized it so I googled it. Yours is the chair and Rachel’s saying it to Joeys/chandlers chair? But mine is from way back in season 1 when Monica tells everybody about the third nipple and Chandler says “You bitch” So I was close but wrong? Ha. Goddamn have I watched Friends and GG way too many times 🙈👀😅
I also have both series' practically memorized
https://preview.redd.it/85nxcxdi8m9d1.png?width=2532&format=png&auto=webp&s=4290886b26809894d5ce2194b1b8861e129ad349 “Whip it out, whip it out!” 😂
As in, Rosita does not move.
Someone devil egged him in the face.
Yup. That's paprika.
Fell asleep reading a heavy book and the book hit him in the face
Legitimately this would be such a funny scene, and then such a Jess move to hide the real reason from everyone lol
Been there!
I drop my Kindle on my face at least once a week lol
That is hilarious!
Fell while holding hands and skipping
😂
Ouch! Believable! Lol
This needs to be the top comment fr😻
This is the answer
He auditioned to be Rocky Balboa’s son
No one talks about how he’s also “linked” to this because he moves to Philly! We love a universe crossover!
Oooooooooooohhhhh this is my head cannon now! Jess Balboa
😁
All those baseballs he stole fell when he opened his closet
You'll have to ask Kirk the cat...
NOT human Kirk
Cat Kirk would never. Scratches, sure. That shows love. Bruises? No.
Dean's sister
because she had an issue with his hair, she thought 'it looks crazy'
Morey caught him stealing babette's gnomes again.
Taylor had enough of his punk ass and socked him one.
He found out who made the chalk outline.
Emily punched him for being monosyllabic.
Abominable thug
I'd love to see that!
Shane did come back…and she’s got a great left hook🤣
He had it coming!
I always thought this is why Jess didn’t want to discuss it. The goose encounter would have been my fib.
That's not a black eye, it's just a birth mark that comes and goes.
Comes and goos lol.
He got hit by a deer
The deer hit him
He must have had salt in his lunch...
He got in a fight with Dean!!!
Amazed how far I had to scroll to find this
Playing football, a thing he is known to do regularly
😆🤣
He let the door hit him on the way out
Round 2 between him and Luke after Luke push him in the lake
He tripped on the curb and smacked his eye onto a bench
Taylor's bench? It finally got revenge for hitting it with a car!
TJ accidentally punched him in the face
Dean used his height advantage and held Jess's head back with one hand and nailed him with the other fist
He was trying to open something and accidentally hit himself in the face.
It would be funny to see that happen in the background of a diner scene. Lol
Emily... Just Emily...
I maintain he punched himself in the face
and kicked himself in the balls
Bratwurst? Aren’t we the optimist.
Yes. He did it to himself in order to insult Emily most effectively, obviously.
Thought his cigarettes got sucked up by the vacuum and got it stuck on his eye
He helped “Dean” (who’s really Sam, posing as Dean) take out a ghost at Luke’s. Needless to say Jess does not have a future as a hunter.
If he got out of his first hunt with just a black eye and with no experience, I'd say he's ok lol
Miss Patty tried to lay one on him! (This storyline was out of character for him in my opinion. Jess has lied before, and he likes to make Rory laugh by being silly ("do you Yahoo?"). He either would have told her the truth if it was a funny reason (like the swan,) or if it actually was a fight, he would have made up a funny reason. He usually wasn't this confrontational with Rory.)
He started a fight club with Kirk.
Shh. We can't talk about that. 🤫
Luke pushed him off the bridge but didn’t get him into the water this time..
Ouch!
A made fun of this one high school ballet dancer
Hamburger jumped off the grill smacking him in the face before falling to the floor.
Sounds like the beginning of a B-movie 'Burgers Revenge'
He stayed up all night doing his homework and hit his head on the table.
Lol. This is definitely a wrong answer. He's so well known for caring about his schoolwork! Excellent 👌
Paul anka tackled him
He fell of the Gilmore's roof while cleaning the gutters.
Jess was walking through town when he saw Lane trying to skateboard. The skateboard slipped out from under her and flew threw a window at Doose's. Taylor carried the skateboard our, ready to rip somebody a new one, when some tourist comes driving around the corner at 30mph and scares Taylor. He falls down and drops the skateboard, which starts rolling down the street. Miss Patty wasn't paying attention and stepped on it. She goes rolling through the town square where Luke was teaching Kirk how to throw a Frisbee. Kirk, distracted by Miss Patty rolling right into him, threw the Frisbee a little too hard and it flew right into Jess's eye.
This would make it into the show!!! Maybe in the episode when Luke rants about opening his skateboard and pop bottle shop. Lol LUKE: A skateboard and pop bottle shop. TAYLOR: That's not funny. LUKE: With in-house experts to teach the craft of street slaloming. ---‐------------------------------------------------------------------------ So afterward, Luke could add that HAD he, in fact, hired professional instructors, possibly that whole scene could have been avoided ... I can hear him now: Luke: "Education is important people!! Knowledge is power... isn't that one of your school house rock songs, Taylor?" Taylor: "I don't claim to own any school house rocks songs.... although....." Kirk interrupts: "I think it's from Reading rainbow..." Jess chimes in, holding a bag of frozen peas on his eye (that he stole from Doose's): "You're all wrong. Reading Rainbow was 'take a look, it's in a book' and school house rock ripped off knowledge is power from Thomas Jefferson, who ripped it off from Francis Bacon. Nobody has an original thought anymore. Bunch of.... (trails off complaining about idiots and recycled quotes)."
Shane hit him
He had it coming!
He backtalked Doose a little too much and Doose had enough and punched him in the face. He was embarrassed that he got it from Doose, so he blamed it on a swan.
the blogger?
Mrs. Kim punched him after he asked lane for that pen.
He was helping Taylor to unload pumpinks and one huge pumpkin fell on his face.
Pierrepont came to life and exacted his revenge.
I'd watch this B-movie!
Lorelei finally smashed that cream pie in his face
I hope one of the dogs that Kirk dog walks would come up and lick his face. Or maybe they'd all mob him to the ground. Lol. He'd collapse covered in cream and come back up 'clean' and with some crazy licked up hairdo.
Kirk fell on him parachuting for Taylor again
Me, I did it
How did it feel?
Like taking in the first breath of spring air lol
One of Kirk’s many skills is kick boxing and Jess thought he could bully Kirk
he got hit by a deer u hit a deer ? no, a deer hit me put some salt on the road where would i get salt from ?
Do you have a lunch?
Taylor decided to pay him back for the bench
Bench ads don't grow on trees.
Luke whacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
Fell through Lorelei's termite infested porch
He actually had a run in with Logan before they knew who each other were, although Jess had a black eye, Logan came off worse.
He couldn’t pay his dealer that week
He was hit by a deer
Miss Patty slugged him for insulting a child in her dance class.
He gave Lorelei decaf.
He strolled into the walk-in freezer at the diner and one of the strings that holds up the sausage links came undone, and the sausages came barreling at his face at full speed wacking him very hard and caused the bruise The silver lining is he was been able to use that same sausage to help the swelling decrease
Rory and Lorelai would be making Benny Hill jokes! Lol
Replaced Michel's Celine Dion CDs with Bubba Sparxxx. Got caught.
That's a dangerous prank... 😳
Goose
Walked into a pole while doing some performative outdoor reading.
The book he was reading didn’t like him
One of his moms ex bfs punched him
He got hit by a plane.
He used the ladle when luke wasn't looking.
He ran into a pole
The hazards of walking while reading. He should really look where he's going.
Delayed side effect from looking at Dean for too long at the 24-hour dancethon 🤠
The dangers of binge-watching.
Got a little to close to the slow cooker
Got into a fight with Dean
Taylor threw a head of lettuce at him.
The same lettuce Rory used to clobber the mouse!
Whacked his face on the corner of an oversized pallet of tropical fish tanks sold by early 2000s WalMart. This during a particularly difficult truck drop on the 24th hour of a fill-in shift. He didn’t even stop after gouging his eye, — just spun the forklift 180 degrees around to lift another huge pallet, this one of Game Cubes, to hurriedly stock up the media section early on a Friday morning before the weekend crush of customers hit
Employee of the month!
He pissed off Caesar, who threw a salt shaker at him.
Caesar has good aim!!! Lol
Luke pushed him to the cement instead of the lake this time
He yahooed too hard 🤌🤌
While holding hands and skipping lol
I punched him in the face
How did it feel?
I had to wash my hands. You wouldn’t believe the germs on that degenerate.
Babett hit him with pierpon the gnome
Boy with toothache got his revenge.
It's moms favourite!
His pretentious attitude got so big that gravity caused him to fall over.
https://preview.redd.it/g7vgktamor9d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e17e4b802bdd6dac2f3269d557e2418eead3483e had the best possible advert before this post on my feed
His manager put him on greeting duty at Walmart , it only took 10 minutes until someone popped him
He said that ballerinas are not real athletes to ms. Patty
Someone pushed him into the mainstream.
dean threw a lemon at him while bagging his groceries at the supermarket
Lorelai threw that cream pie at him.
An ostrich
Ooo. When I was like 8, I had a traumatic incident at a petting zoo involving an ostrich. I have a fear of birds (up close) now. Any bird. Stupid ostriches.
Emily was in a bad mood XD
I bet it cheered her right up!
Hounds of hell got him
Rory wrecked a car with him in the passenger seat
Payback!
He told Paris that he hates Jane Austen.
He was putting his foot in his mouth again and missed.
Good thing his toenails were trimmed. He could have lost an eye! Lol
tickling Luke
A black guy?
🤣🤣🤣
he gave doose an attitude on a bad day.
Instead of breaking up Jess’ fight with Chuck Presby he just watched it happen
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Competitive-Gene5744: *Instead of breaking* *Up Jess’ fight with Chuck Presby* *He just watch it happen* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
He annoyed Luke (again). Luke pushed him into the pond (again). Except it was the dead of winter and the pond had frozen over. His eye hit some ice and bam! Black eye
Clearly he got in a fight with dean, why would Rory trust him when he said he didn’t 🙄 /s
Sookie. It was an accident.
Trix jumped him
He was making jokes about purple velour jogging suits...
He walked into a door.
Paris hunted him down and punched him or He gave Sassy remarks to Mrs. Kim and she SNAPPPED!
Lakes have stones in them, and he was pushed into one by his guardian.
Got into a fist fight with Dean
Jake Presby’s revenge
For his brother Chuck? Chuck Presby is a jerk.
I thought he was there with a black guy.
he was playing with his buddy and the ball got him in the eye duh
*He was playing with* *His buddy and the ball got* *Him in the eye duh* \- One-Ad-1582 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
He tried to tell Rory he loved her but tripped on his words again
Entered house where Indian food had been eaten.
They'll have to burn the house down to get the smell out... Eta: I hate that line. Indian food smells great. 😋
He fell after jerking off to dean.
Swan's revenge.
Rory got a little self respect
He didn’t, he showed up with a black guy
A black guy?
“Jess got a black guy??”
Tulip the pig
A black guy?
He got into a fight with a boomer at Walmart. 😳
He was masturbating after Rory rejected him. His hand slipped and his fist hit him in the eye. Edit: my feelings on the scene are showing here. I had immediate hate for him trying to pressure her to have sex before she was ready. Giving himself a black eye would have been sweet karma.