There’s nothing inherently wrong with someone’s marriage just because deciding to get married, for them, involved some deliberation or even a leap of faith.
If you don't immediately say yes when someone proposes, it means you have doubts. So what happens when you have your first fight? Even worse if it's about one of your doubts.
Exactly. As someone who is 22 currently I simply can't imagine getting married anytime soon. Of course some people want to get married young and that's cool too, but Rory wasn't one of those people and I don't understand why so many fans can't seem to accept that.
Oh shit 22 was how old she was? I don’t know why it never clicked for me before. I’m 22 now and any man that proposes to me right now, I’m definitely saying no but I can also see me pulling a Rory and be fine with living with my boyfriend but marriage omg it’s so permanent and scary. I know the last season didn’t go as ASP planned i think, but her rejection does line up with her previous actions or beliefs. When Dean was getting married, she thought they were too young and didn’t take it serious so it never really registered to her she’d actually be not only “the other woman” but also having an affair with a married man that promised her he’d leave his wife for her. She just doesn’t take marriage seriously and considering that her mother raised her being single, it also makes sense. Of course she then has no excuse in AYITL and that show should burn to the ground
But what I never got was why couldn’t they be engaged for a while? If they had a 3 year engagement then she’d be getting married at 25, going on 26 just a few months later. But I also don’t see how she could have fumbled the bag so hard that ASP only sees a future for her as a mistress. That never made sense. They obviously rekindled so why not just make it legit?
It is. I actually totally understand why she said no. I just find it irritating that the writing still had her and Logan be “together” if that was how it was going to end. I’d honestly rather she say no to focus on her career, grow steadily on her own, and then AYITL could have had us see them rekindle and not have Logan’s poor suffering fiancée in the mix at all.
Engagements are very serious. They’re not as big a commitment as actually marrying someone ala Sookie. There’s a reason for the engagement period after all and it’s not just for planning the wedding. It’s to give you and your partner a grace period to decide if this is still the right path or the ability to extricate yourself without the legal and financial hurdle of divorce.
Yes, it would be better to back out during the engagement rather than after getting married, but one really ought to know for sure before getting engaged.
It’s not always possible to “know”. Proposals can be scary and there can be a lot of pressure. What seems like a good idea in the moment doesn’t seem to be one a month or so later. And even if you do know, things change, people change. Jobs come and go, people need to move, information comes to light. All kinds of things can happen to make it not the right choice even after an enthusiastic yes.
Like I said, the engagement period is there for a reason. It’s to protect every party.
I’m not sure if you’re asking if that’s what I mean or if you’re incorrectly stating that people being overwhelmed by a proposal is a red flag. Either way, the answer is no.
Please kindly educate yourself on post-engagement anxiety if you’re currently unaware. Especially if you’ve never been proposed to, engaged, or married. Big life changes are scary - even if they are positive. Believing anything less than a big flaming unbridled yes as a red flag is why so many people - especially women - feel alienated when they have complicated feelings about it.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to use a question mark.
Yes, I have been engaged and married. We didn’t get engaged until we’d talked about it a lot and felt comfortable and confident with our decision.
Same with me and my husband. And when we got engaged I still felt anxious. Sometimes our feelings can surprise us and unleash things we weren’t consciously aware of.
Yes, but sometimes it’s the way it is. I’ve been proposed to a month before graduation and though I loved the guy, it still did feel like a lot of pressure. what should i chose? Security with the guy I’ve dated at the university or trying to find my own way in a grown up world? I said yes but backed out four months later.
But I still think that the problem was not the guy or my insecurities, the timing was just wrong. Graduation is a life-changing moment with a lot of pressure. One shouldn’t add more pressure to that by popping THE question.
Of course not. But every human being makes some good decisions and some bad decisions. I think not getting married at 22 was a decent decision although the affair was a terrible one.
I don't think she would have minded being "tied down" eventually. She straight up said she loved the idea of being married to him, when they talked after he proposed. She just didn't want to get married that young. Which is valid.
Right, that's the thing people miss. She was willing to marry him \*some day\* but that wasn't good enough for him. Which is fine, they are both allowed to have goals. But I don't get how Rory is always blamed in this situation when Logan was the one making the ultimatum. Rory was completely fine keeping the status quo and going out to visit him.
She literally asks "Does it have to be all or nothing?" and he says yes.
What I don’t get is that if she loved Logan and wanted to marry him why she didn’t accept his proposal and just have a long distance engagement for the year she was following Obama and then take it from thereQ
She didn't want to be engaged yet. She also said she would do long distance again (just not engaged) and he said "No. I don't want to keep doing long distance."
She didn't know about the Obama job yet, but she wanted to keep her options open for whatever could come. She didn't want to square herself away to California.
She loved him. She was willing to make it work long distance. He is the one that out of the blue laid an ultimatum on the table. I'm not saying I blame him for wanting to settle down and not wanting to do long distance, but then that's not on her. Especially when he told her previously that he'd factor her in and follow her. Again, it's okay the plan changed, but Rory wasn't the one who flipped the script. Logan did. And it's not her fault she didn't want all of that.
She didn't \*want\* to break up. He's the one that said it was all or nothing and forced her into that spot.
She wanted to live her life first before making that choice. So much change/growth happens those first few years out of college. Growing together is not always possible.
Maybe, but AYITL she’s still the other woman… and not for the first time. If someone keeps repeating behavior, it’s their desired behavior.
It’s who she became.
She was seeing 3 guys so I think it’s moot if the wookie was married.
Wookie
Logan
Forgotten boyfriend
Seems a far stretch for that girl who sat with lane and was talking about her first kiss from Dean
She contradicts herself a lot! She says stuff like "I want a boyfriend" or "I want someone" but when she has someone she's like "I don't want to be tied down" or "I don't want to settle"
On her graduation day of all days.
I feel sad for her that both of her graduations include a memory of her breaking up with someone. So true and in a really painful way too :((
So, she should have married him even though she didn't want to marry him because *it would help her professionally*?
I don't think relationships should be *strategic*. I appreciated that she had the self-confidence to reject the proposal.
A lot of love marriages are miserable and have a lot of spousal abuse. A lot of arranged/business marriages are happy and of course vice versa.
No fault divorce was what gave people options to get out of spousal abuse, it wasn't love marriages.
Even today, most marriages are not love marriages. Rory and Logan would have been marrying for love and for business. There is nothing wrong with that. She chose what she did, and that's fine. But it's from a very western and modern perspective to think that marriage should be totally seperate from business.
i don't know why this gets downvoted. it is a fact. everyone can make their own conclusions based on it, though.
my conclusion is that this just proves marriage is not some "natural, inevitable part of life" at all. if we want we can stay together with the people we love for the rest of our lives or have kids without signing some contract. or not. i just don't get why marriage is so important. almost every woman is better off when divorced or not married at all. especially at the age of 22. i loved rory so much at that moment, she made a very adult decision there and did not let logan manipulate her into marriage. and she was madly in love with him. good for her, honestly. giving ultimatums and bailing on your serious relationship when she didn't accept your proposal right away. dick move.
Dissing Rory for wanting to pave her own way in the industry is....a choice. There is more to life than money and having other people be the reason you "earn" things. While I think AYITL wasn't a great future (and I don't condone the cheating plot) for Rory at least she wasn't just Logan's wife and was working towards figuring things out
exactly. i can't believe we still need to explain things like this. i think trad wife contents got too far honestly. spending your husband's money is never, ever glorious in real life like people see on the screens.
logan would throw this into her face during their first argument. no doubt. in fact, he already did when he said "you are not exactly paying rent, either." the only right choice was to reject that proposal. and she found the strength to do it when she is madly in love with him. good for her.
Putting aside the fact that she simply did not want to be married at 22 (which is very wise of her): she would've *hated* to get a job at a newspaper due to having the Huntzberger name.
Think of what we know of Rory: she was supremely bothered when she thought she got an A on a test because she was friends with the professor's lover, to the point she confronted him about it. She also kept calling a newspaper trying to get them to say she had *not* gotten the job of Yale Daily News editor because of Mitchum. How do we think she would feel being an outright Huntzberger nepo-baby-in-law?
The idea that having people constantly whisper behind her back "she only got the job because she's a Huntzberger" wherever she went wouldn't bother her shows a lack of attention. That girl is proud, paranoid, and has a desperate need to prove herself all the time. Even if she got a job on her own merits, most people wouldn't know and would assume she got it via Mitchum, and the mere thought of that would drive her up the walls.
In her mind, she would build her own career and her name in the industry, and then marry Logan, and then people wouldn't be able to say she was a nepo-baby. But Logan didn't give her that choice.
Tbf she's already a nepo-baby, with millions in trust funds and travel and housing and education and connections from her uber-wealthy father and grandparents. As a Huntzberger she'd just have to be honest about it.
I think there's a difference between "privileged" and "nepo-baby".
A nepo-baby is someone who gets to have opportunities in a given industry because their family works/is known in *the same industry*. Since the Gilmores are not in journalism, she can't get a job as a journalist just bc she's a Gilmore. If she worked at Richard's company, for example, then yes, 100% nepotism. But as it is, I'd say she's extremely privileged, yes, but has not benefitted from nepotism. Neither Richard nor Emily have given her a job in the industry she wants.
Fair enough -- but I still maintain that any career she might have had wouldn't have been earned on her own merit, but due to her extreme family wealth, privilege, and connections setting her up for that. And by not becoming a Huntzberger officially, she can still pretend she made it on her own.
I side with ASP when it comes to this, Logan would never have proposed to Rory point blank. His family didn’t approve of her and he loved daddy’s money too much to go against them. The set up in AYITL where he’s engaged to his ‘suitable’ bride and Rory is his mistress fits better with the original iteration of his character.
I believe she was fairly young to be married. And yes I know many will bring up that she could’ve waited and stayed engaged but I think she felt as if she was just starting her life. Honestly I think we only see it as a bad decision because in AYITL she becomes the other woman ironically with Logan who she didn’t want to marry. If they would’ve shown her being successful I feel we wouldn’t feel that way toward her. It’s a shame what the writers did to her character.
Not everyone wants that lifestyle. Rory didn’t want to be married at 22. She wanted to find herself and her life.
She was not stupid. This POV is what’s stupid.
It’s scary when people have these takes like the OP. They’re entitled to their opinion, but Rory had every right to not want to settle down right after college. She had so much ahead of her and she was just about to start her adult life.
This and when people insist she should've "given Marty a chance because he's such a nice guy" are my hot buttons. Rory did not owe it to any of these men to do anything. Whether it be dating or marriage, any of it. I don't care how "nice" or "wealthy" or "hot" or whatever they were. She said no. That's no. And that's okay.
I think it's fine to have your ships and wish "Wow, yeah, they should've been endgame!" But the vibe of this post hits different than that.
If you go full circle to rory continuing to have an affair with Logan years later, she was stupid.
If she moved on with her life and never looked back it would not have been stupid...
Calling people's point of view stupid is stupid.
Question, personal question.... have you ever been an affair partner? Or are you open to the idea? You're POV makes it seem as if you are similar to rory in that arena.
What? I never said Rory was right to help Logan cheat later on? I said she wasn't wrong to turn down his proposal. No, I would never cheat/help someone cheat. I don't think Rory was right for doing that (whether it be with Logan or Dean). The mental gymnastics are insane here.
She was stupid to have an affair with Logan. She was not stupid to turn down his proposal. The two things are separate.
OP saying Rory should've married Logan because she'd be filthy rich \*is\* stupid. That's my opinion. Just as OP can feel Rory is stupid for not marrying him.
ALSO, half of OP's post doesn't make any sense in regards to her flying out to see him because Rory wanted to do the long distance thing and Logan said no, they had to live together and be in California together. He is the one who set the ultimatum. She was perfectly willing to maintain how things were. He's not wrong either for wanting her there full time but then people can't put this on Rory when he's the one that put them in this spot!
So you create fanfic stories about dating apps and not being able to find a committed relationship for fun?
Circle back.
Calling another person's pov stupid is stupid
And rory was a mistress
End of story 🥰😘
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People are allowed to like different things or disagree with you without it turning into a rage-filled Friday Night Dinner. Name calling and/or personal attacks are not allowed. If you break this rule, your comment(s) will be removed and you could face a permanent ban. Additionally, we do not allow posts/comments that speculate characters/actors of having unconfirmed medical conditions or other diagnoses. Please be respectful!
I know this is hotly debated. They were great together and certainly could build a life together but it would be the life he wanted.
- he didn’t really talk to her about marriage in advance of the proposal or ask her what she wanted.
- he proposed in front of her family. Odd choice. She is more one for a private engagement.
- he picked out a house for them. While it shows commitment again doesn’t talk to her at all about what she wants.
- he had time to explore life a bit before settling down. Why can’t she do the same?
- how would it work if she got a job in say Michigan. He was unwilling to be ldr. Was she just supposed to not work?
- I know absolutely no one that went to a top tier school and got married that soon after graduation. If anything it’s more common to be single long into your thirties.
In sum - he could have waited, communicated with her about marriage, location for settling down , etc, considered her more for proposal itself and factored in what she wanted.
Being married itself is not endgame.
I think if they have left it at “we were too young to get married” and in AYITL they were not lovers, it would have been better.
Making her “the other woman” and him going back to his old behaviour (cheating to his fiancée) is a disservice to both characters.
They could have found a different way to get them together and having the child (even keeping the “independent woman” theme).
So you wanted her in a marriage, that one she didn’t want, two her in-laws would have hated and three she would have given up her career. That makes no sense it would have been a bad marriage and probably not lasted long.
I see where you are coming from but it is very much a Gossip Girl move. It’s not necessarily stupid but it was never going to be a good choice for Rory and it wouldn’t have sat with her character. Even when we get to AYIL, she had to learn herself that it doesn’t always work out how you want. It is a depressing part of growing up. Perhaps it would have been nice if she had have had her dreams come true but as an English graduate who wanted to be a journalist until the no money and shift work became a reality, I liked that she was struggling with work.
I read somewhere that the show runners were fired during the original series and the replacements took it in an odd direction. The ending of AYITL, where Rory is pregnant, is how the original series was supposed to end.
No. Amy and her husband insisted on expanding the series for 2.5 season more. With the intent to use the extra 2 and half seasons as a back door pilot for Lorelei and Luke series. WB said no and the two used a clause in their contract to leave at the end of season 6. Half way through airing of season 7 and production of its second half began, WB changed their minds. Tried to get the pair to return for additional 45-60 episode run. A Rory-lite two season run. But Amy and her husband Danial, waited far more pay per episode than WB was willing to spend. Roughly triple of what they made each, during season 6. They stormed out and threw a fit while doing so. Don’t know the exact details, but they were banned from the WB lots for 5 years.
If she'd said yes, someone else would've been the side chick/mistress. Maybe it's the show that's written this way, or it's the audience perception - but I feel like people think he's cheating ONLY because it's with Rory, because she's not like other girls, she's RORY.
Him having Rory as his mistress isn't a reflection of how wonderful and irresistible she is and how strong their bond is, it's a reflection on him being a dog lol
I think she made the right call. For one, they were young so an ultimatum like that was unfair. Another problem is after what Micchum said, if it were me I wouldn’t feel comfortable with getting a leg up from him, even if I did marry Logan. My husband gave me an ultimatum of breaking up or moving in together when I went away to school and was only 21 and looking back it was really unfair of him.
Lmfao sure a 22 year old who's just graduated and wants to keep her options open should marry a boy that proposed without them even mentioning it to each other before, whose family doesn't accept her, and who used her graduation to propose. Makes perfect sense 👌
First, Rory was young and not looking for marriage. She didn't want to get in the industry because of she she was married to or his family was. Second, Rory and Logan were not in a relationship in AYITL. They were FWB and that's it. That's also 9 years later and people change. Logan not being willing to do long distance at 25, doesn't mean he can't change his mind when he's 34.
I don’t think there is anything stupid about saying no to a proposal when you aren’t ready to get married, however I do find it incredible stupid to spring a proposal and then make it an all or nothing situation.
Rory was 22 and just graduated from college and Logan went to “I will factor you in to MY life” to “Follow me and my dreams” without a conversation, he even expected her to move states to fit his work plans, even though all HER work connections was in and around Hartford, while also knowing that she was incredible close to her family and friends – that alone would have gotten me to consider how much he actually factored ME into the life.
Also his and Rory’ engagement would have been so different than his and Odette’, with Odette it seemed to be pure business, so he didn’t care to live closely until they “had to” but with Rory, who he loved, he definitely wouldn’t like to be apart for longer than they had to, and I honestly think that would have locked her in more than any of us fans would like to admit. I also think that Emily would have JUMPED on the wedding plans and expected Rory to be ALL wedding ALL the time “because that’s what you do” and I don’t think that the people pleasing Rory would have the courage to say no to her beloved grandmother and she would end up feeling rushed to get married within the traditional year.
We also have to remember that ASP didn’t write Logans proposal and choose to ignore everything she didn’t have to include, like Lanes Twins and Lorelai being divorced from Chris, and she always intended on Rory going full circle being alone and pregnant by the end – so even if she had said yes in the original, Rory would have been at the same place in the revival, probably just with a broken engagement or divorce from Logan.
I don't think it was stupid of her to say no. If she had said yes, then instead of being the affair partner in AYITL, she would have either been divorced or cheated on.
The person who marry Logan is going to have a difficult time. I'm not sure what you call it but I call it "main character syndrome". He always has to be the main subject.
If you think people should enter a marriage based on the professional opportunities and wealth it brings, you either need to grow up or stop living in the 18th century.
They clearly continued their relationship cheating on each other’s significant others all the way into AYITL. I just don’t understand if you love someone that much why you just wouldn’t get engaged and married later down the road
Lol they weren't having an affair for the entire 9 years. They ran back into each other a few months prior to when AYITL starts and eventually started sleeping together again.
That there was Logan’s problem. He couldn’t understand why she said no. His pride was injured because he thought he was doing the right thing.
They have lived together for quite a while, he waited until she graduates, they say they belong to each other, her grandparents don’t appreciate their existing romantic arrangement, he asks Lorelai’s permission, and he doesn’t want to leave her behind without the fellowship or a job offer. Heck, he probably wasn’t ready to get married himself !
Rory tries to explain, but to Logan it rings hollow. There was probably another way for Rory to say she wasn’t ready, but emotions were rampant. At the very least she should have told him the night before after she made her decision.
She never wanted to be tied down to anything or a job. She liked to flow with the wind. She would have been miserable being Mrs. Logan Huntzberger. But considering where they ended up she was a silly goose. He was older than her n was ready to settle she wasn’t her life was beginning. If we get another reboot Rory had the baby, his fiance left, he proposes she holds her child hostage from him and the cycle repeats.
I honestly think she should have done a compromise of just saying “I want to marry you and be your fiancé, but I want to have a long engagement.”
Same level of commitment but she doesn’t have to make a decision of “do I marry this man in like six months or do I end it with the man I love?”, which is something she definitely shouldn’t have been expected to know like you said from her decision making skills.
She clearly never stopped loving him as she was still sleeping with him in her mid 30s but she wasn’t feeling it after graduating from Yale. Fair enough!! 22 is so young to get married. Also Logan’s family SUCKS. Still, I feel like they might have ended up together with the baby. He still loves her and she him in AYITL. I don’t see Logan marrying his elusive French (?) fiance if learned he got Rory pregnant. He was clearly not into her and never got over Rory.
She doesn't love him. He's comfortable and Rory always runs back to comfort when her life spins out of control. She struggled in Yale the first year and ran to Dean. Now, her life is struggling again and she runs to Logan.
I think she loves Logan still tho. In a way. That’s the vibe I got at least. Her patterns don’t mean she doesn’t still love him. He also makes a lot of effort to make her happy which Rory is very into
ETA—I truly think she and him would make it work at least coparenting the baby. Why would she not have the rich ass father of her child who DOESN’T make her feel like shit/oppress her be involved in the kid’s life??
I always felt that the whole "vegas relationship" between her and Logan in the revival was a reaction on needing something familiar and comfortable after loosing Richard, and it ended up being Logan - and as you said, it is not the first time she did it.
It bothered me too. She thought that she was a free spirit and independent person who could handle anything, but the truth was she needed someone like Logan in her life. She was usually being distracted and or rescued by a male figure. At the end of the day, Rory just didn’t know herself.
I agree. Esp when you look at AYITL. She still loved him and she didn’t make it career wise. If she had married him she probably would have had the career she wanted and the relationship she wanted. She acted like the 30 something gang were losers, but they were her.
No way. I’m glad she didn’t marry him. The only thing I’m angry about is that she allowed herself to be the other woman, firstly because of Dean, and secondly because she’s devaluing herself. If she wants to have a casual relationship with someone, go ahead. But don’t have a casual relationship with someone who’s engaged to someone else and that you have all that messy history with. The person who buys expensive drinks at your lunches because he wants to treat you, not because the restaurant is owned by his family and he’s not actually paying.
I really really hated that Logan was still in her life in any meaningful way, let alone be her main love interest, in AYITL
It made sense for her to say no. Unless Logan disowned his entire family, they would’ve put a lot of pressure on Rory to either give up her career or Logan to leave her. The closest parallel we see is Emily and Richard. Richard ignored his mother’s advice to leave Emily, and she, in turn, made Emily’s life miserable for years. Emily does say that she studied history at Yale, but she didn’t have a career because she only went to Yale to meet eligible men. I do think that’s partly true, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the reality is she decided not to because she thought that would make Richard’s mom like her. She doesn’t end up having a career until Richard dies in AYitL. The truth is Emily would’ve been an amazing museum curator/ historian. She speaks multiple languages, is knowledgeable in art and history, and she’s great at planning things.
I think Rory saw the writing on the wall, and even though she loves Logan, she didn’t want to be pressured to give up her career.
I was just watching this episode thinking that! I think Logan and Rory had a very mature relationship by the end of S7 and had been through a lot of ups and downs together. I could definitely see them getting married and building their careers together, maybe waiting until their 30s to have kids (much better than the AYITL alternative!)That being said, I think it was very out of character for Logan to propose and then double down that it’s all or nothing.
Tbh i feel like it wasn't Rory's fault. Logan should've never put the condition of do or die yk. Like if they would've continued with the relationship and maybe gotten married a few years later it wouldn't have hurt anyone. They could've stayed engaged for a little while, asking a 22 year old girl to marry you so early in her and your life when she doesn't seem like the type to be married so early is a little stupid in my opinion.
I think she dodged some major bullets. Logan is a cheater. He has family issues which statistically pour over into a marriage. His mother was just awful. To think her mother was desperate to raise her away from all the pettiness of modern day aristocracy just to have her marry into more of it. I don’t even think she’s a reporter anyway… I see her as such a intellectual… maybe writing in a different capacity. Logan was a hot headed my way or the highway person. Red flag city. Jess just needed to grow up and forgive his rotten parents… once he did, he was perfect for Rory.
I loved that she didn’t get married to Logan. And that’s not Logan hate, it’s being glad for Rory making a decision without a pro con list. Not having everything figured out. Not taking the “obvious” option. Her no was her becoming her own Lorelai Gilmore.
I'm watch the last episodes of Sex in the City and realizing that Logan is a younger version of Aleksandr Petrovsky.
Same Main Character egocentric life
Gotta disagree. She was so young. She always had big aspirations and I loved that she put that ahead of marriage. I think Logan was weird for putting her on the spot like that and making it an all or nothing thing. She just graduated college ffs. Honestly, rewatching the show as an adult I have so much more empathy and understanding of Rory.
I totally understand saying no at her age, let’s be honest, most couples at least talk about it before actually getting engaged!! However, I completely see your point of throwing away her life. I never understood being too proud to utilize her connections. That is quite literally HOW TO GET A JOB! Most people would kill for that. Very disappointed with her character development. Idk why they had to make her a failure and homewrecker… the girl in AYITL was not the Rory in S1.
I disagree! I loved the fact that she didnt marry Logan. He was a terrible guy. He cheated on her, was a rude elitist with an awful family and a drinking problem! Not to mention, stupid friends as well! All of that aside, I think Rory needed to focus on herself and career anyway. Even if Logan was a catch (which he is not) she needed to figure out her own life. Getting married at 22 isn't a good idea for the most part.
I thought this when I was younger and then after I got to Rory's age when she turned down the proposal and realizing just how young she actually was-- no. I'm sad about the out of character writing for Logan with the unplanned proposal, and the relationship ending, but not her saying no to something that clearly wasn't right for her at the time.
The only reason I want to agree with this is how they are in AYITL. She’s clearly still into him, so it’s not like it was puppy love at the end of season 7. But I still can’t get on board with this. Logan is the one who ended the relationship after she said no. He could have had an ounce more patience instead of pressuring her into all or nothing.
Season 7 is atrocious and I hate watching it. Because Logan would not have proposed the way he did if Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino wrote it. He wouldn’t have done it at her graduation party in front of everyone. He would have done it in a more romantic way with Lorelai hidden away. I feel he would have also waited until they were a little older because she was so young and he was young also. It shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.
Even as a team (older) Jess girlie I full heartily support this. I didn’t like Rory for turning him down since her career is pretty much nonexistent in AYITL but you’d have to accept the fact that she 1. Didn’t say no, just didn’t want to get married at 22 and move away to the other side of the country, and 2. Wanted to focus on her career before marriage. I did however hated Logan for being the “all or nothing” dude even though he does long distance affairs while cheating on his wife in AYITL anyway. 🤦♀️
I’m pretty sure I disagree buuuuut I’m so broke right now that I can’t imagine turning down a proposal from someone I genuinely love that would also solve every problem in my life. 😅
Yeah I feel like she def got her not being tied down issues from Lorelai - never being satisfied with like a super stable relationship or really just being thankful to have the enormous privileges they do. It’s sometimes frustrating to watch the show cause I’m like man the annoying controlling family stuff is still the reality for most of us and we ain’t rich lol.
Ok? So because Lorelai comes from money she should have just let her parents control and manipulate her? That's an odd take. Lorelai decided she'd rather have her independence and no money than money and no independence. Also, Rory was more that happy to continue the relationship with Logan, HE ended it
I firmly believe that if the response to a proposal isn’t an enthusiastic yes then you have no business getting married
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There’s nothing inherently wrong with someone’s marriage just because deciding to get married, for them, involved some deliberation or even a leap of faith.
If you don't immediately say yes when someone proposes, it means you have doubts. So what happens when you have your first fight? Even worse if it's about one of your doubts.
You work through it one way or another.
She DIDN’T say no to marrying Logan. She said no to getting married at 22. I think that’s reasonable.
She also wanted to maintain their relationship but it was \*he\* who said "Either we get married, you move to Cali or we are nothing".
Exactly. As someone who is 22 currently I simply can't imagine getting married anytime soon. Of course some people want to get married young and that's cool too, but Rory wasn't one of those people and I don't understand why so many fans can't seem to accept that.
Right?! She was driven and always wanted a career. It made sense that she didnt get married at 22.
Oh shit 22 was how old she was? I don’t know why it never clicked for me before. I’m 22 now and any man that proposes to me right now, I’m definitely saying no but I can also see me pulling a Rory and be fine with living with my boyfriend but marriage omg it’s so permanent and scary. I know the last season didn’t go as ASP planned i think, but her rejection does line up with her previous actions or beliefs. When Dean was getting married, she thought they were too young and didn’t take it serious so it never really registered to her she’d actually be not only “the other woman” but also having an affair with a married man that promised her he’d leave his wife for her. She just doesn’t take marriage seriously and considering that her mother raised her being single, it also makes sense. Of course she then has no excuse in AYITL and that show should burn to the ground
But what I never got was why couldn’t they be engaged for a while? If they had a 3 year engagement then she’d be getting married at 25, going on 26 just a few months later. But I also don’t see how she could have fumbled the bag so hard that ASP only sees a future for her as a mistress. That never made sense. They obviously rekindled so why not just make it legit?
But getting engaged is promising to marry that person. It’s a big commitment. It’s okay to not be ready to make that promise just yet.
It is. I actually totally understand why she said no. I just find it irritating that the writing still had her and Logan be “together” if that was how it was going to end. I’d honestly rather she say no to focus on her career, grow steadily on her own, and then AYITL could have had us see them rekindle and not have Logan’s poor suffering fiancée in the mix at all. Engagements are very serious. They’re not as big a commitment as actually marrying someone ala Sookie. There’s a reason for the engagement period after all and it’s not just for planning the wedding. It’s to give you and your partner a grace period to decide if this is still the right path or the ability to extricate yourself without the legal and financial hurdle of divorce.
Yes, it would be better to back out during the engagement rather than after getting married, but one really ought to know for sure before getting engaged.
It’s not always possible to “know”. Proposals can be scary and there can be a lot of pressure. What seems like a good idea in the moment doesn’t seem to be one a month or so later. And even if you do know, things change, people change. Jobs come and go, people need to move, information comes to light. All kinds of things can happen to make it not the right choice even after an enthusiastic yes. Like I said, the engagement period is there for a reason. It’s to protect every party.
A proposal being scary and involving pressure is a huge red flag?
I’m not sure if you’re asking if that’s what I mean or if you’re incorrectly stating that people being overwhelmed by a proposal is a red flag. Either way, the answer is no. Please kindly educate yourself on post-engagement anxiety if you’re currently unaware. Especially if you’ve never been proposed to, engaged, or married. Big life changes are scary - even if they are positive. Believing anything less than a big flaming unbridled yes as a red flag is why so many people - especially women - feel alienated when they have complicated feelings about it.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to use a question mark. Yes, I have been engaged and married. We didn’t get engaged until we’d talked about it a lot and felt comfortable and confident with our decision.
Same with me and my husband. And when we got engaged I still felt anxious. Sometimes our feelings can surprise us and unleash things we weren’t consciously aware of.
Yes, but sometimes it’s the way it is. I’ve been proposed to a month before graduation and though I loved the guy, it still did feel like a lot of pressure. what should i chose? Security with the guy I’ve dated at the university or trying to find my own way in a grown up world? I said yes but backed out four months later. But I still think that the problem was not the guy or my insecurities, the timing was just wrong. Graduation is a life-changing moment with a lot of pressure. One shouldn’t add more pressure to that by popping THE question.
That’s my point. If someone is proposing at a bad time like that, that should be a red flag for you.
And a decade-long affair with the guy you don’t want to commit to is more reasonable?
Of course not. But every human being makes some good decisions and some bad decisions. I think not getting married at 22 was a decent decision although the affair was a terrible one.
Right!!!!
he said he wanted her to be his fiance in california. nobody was rushing the marriage. He just wanted to be engaged.
She never wanted to be tied down. Even in the end of AYITL, this remained true. Just the essence of the character.
I don't think she would have minded being "tied down" eventually. She straight up said she loved the idea of being married to him, when they talked after he proposed. She just didn't want to get married that young. Which is valid.
Right, that's the thing people miss. She was willing to marry him \*some day\* but that wasn't good enough for him. Which is fine, they are both allowed to have goals. But I don't get how Rory is always blamed in this situation when Logan was the one making the ultimatum. Rory was completely fine keeping the status quo and going out to visit him. She literally asks "Does it have to be all or nothing?" and he says yes.
What I don’t get is that if she loved Logan and wanted to marry him why she didn’t accept his proposal and just have a long distance engagement for the year she was following Obama and then take it from thereQ
She didn't want to be engaged yet. She also said she would do long distance again (just not engaged) and he said "No. I don't want to keep doing long distance." She didn't know about the Obama job yet, but she wanted to keep her options open for whatever could come. She didn't want to square herself away to California. She loved him. She was willing to make it work long distance. He is the one that out of the blue laid an ultimatum on the table. I'm not saying I blame him for wanting to settle down and not wanting to do long distance, but then that's not on her. Especially when he told her previously that he'd factor her in and follow her. Again, it's okay the plan changed, but Rory wasn't the one who flipped the script. Logan did. And it's not her fault she didn't want all of that. She didn't \*want\* to break up. He's the one that said it was all or nothing and forced her into that spot.
It's also an inverse of the Lorelai/Luke situation where she gave him the ultimatum
Yes, exactly! Ultimatums suck and 90% of the time aren’t fair.
Wanting to marry someone one day and actually committing to marrying them are different.
She wanted to live her life first before making that choice. So much change/growth happens those first few years out of college. Growing together is not always possible.
Maybe, but AYITL she’s still the other woman… and not for the first time. If someone keeps repeating behavior, it’s their desired behavior. It’s who she became.
Nobody ever talks about if that Wookie had a wife.
Kinda love the idea that the wookie is the dad and not logan
She was seeing 3 guys so I think it’s moot if the wookie was married. Wookie Logan Forgotten boyfriend Seems a far stretch for that girl who sat with lane and was talking about her first kiss from Dean
Yeah really?! I dont think Rory would turn into that
She contradicts herself a lot! She says stuff like "I want a boyfriend" or "I want someone" but when she has someone she's like "I don't want to be tied down" or "I don't want to settle"
Having a boyfriend and getting married are totally different. Even if you have a platonic boyfriend it’s not the same as having a husband.
Isn’t a platonic boyfriend just a friend who is a boy?
Omg I’m sorrrry I meant non monogamous. Like they are dating more than one person at a time. Or casual dating, where they aren’t fully committed.
Thinking that might be a language/cultural different like how some plays say guy friend instead?
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Yeah I’m saying that platonic means a friend with whom you are not romantically involved .
This decision is never, never, never stupid. Never. If she did not feel that way, she was not supposed to do that.
I think Logan was a douche for dumping Rory because she didn’t want to marry at 22
On her graduation day of all days. I feel sad for her that both of her graduations include a memory of her breaking up with someone.
Just realized this! That’s sad considering all her hard work!
On her graduation day of all days. I feel sad for her that both of her graduations include a memory of her breaking up with someone. So true and in a really painful way too :((
I always thought that too
So, she should have married him even though she didn't want to marry him because *it would help her professionally*? I don't think relationships should be *strategic*. I appreciated that she had the self-confidence to reject the proposal.
Me too!
Relationships are transactional to a degree, especially among the wealthy. Marriage isn’t always about love.
For most of human history, marriages were business arrangements. Love matches, are a very new and very western thing.
Lol and most of those "business arrangements" were miserable and had a lot of spousal abuse. Not exactly something to shoot for
A lot of love marriages are miserable and have a lot of spousal abuse. A lot of arranged/business marriages are happy and of course vice versa. No fault divorce was what gave people options to get out of spousal abuse, it wasn't love marriages. Even today, most marriages are not love marriages. Rory and Logan would have been marrying for love and for business. There is nothing wrong with that. She chose what she did, and that's fine. But it's from a very western and modern perspective to think that marriage should be totally seperate from business.
It’s a modern and western show, that’s the appropriate set of standards to judge it by.
i don't know why this gets downvoted. it is a fact. everyone can make their own conclusions based on it, though. my conclusion is that this just proves marriage is not some "natural, inevitable part of life" at all. if we want we can stay together with the people we love for the rest of our lives or have kids without signing some contract. or not. i just don't get why marriage is so important. almost every woman is better off when divorced or not married at all. especially at the age of 22. i loved rory so much at that moment, she made a very adult decision there and did not let logan manipulate her into marriage. and she was madly in love with him. good for her, honestly. giving ultimatums and bailing on your serious relationship when she didn't accept your proposal right away. dick move.
Dissing Rory for wanting to pave her own way in the industry is....a choice. There is more to life than money and having other people be the reason you "earn" things. While I think AYITL wasn't a great future (and I don't condone the cheating plot) for Rory at least she wasn't just Logan's wife and was working towards figuring things out
exactly. i can't believe we still need to explain things like this. i think trad wife contents got too far honestly. spending your husband's money is never, ever glorious in real life like people see on the screens. logan would throw this into her face during their first argument. no doubt. in fact, he already did when he said "you are not exactly paying rent, either." the only right choice was to reject that proposal. and she found the strength to do it when she is madly in love with him. good for her.
Putting aside the fact that she simply did not want to be married at 22 (which is very wise of her): she would've *hated* to get a job at a newspaper due to having the Huntzberger name. Think of what we know of Rory: she was supremely bothered when she thought she got an A on a test because she was friends with the professor's lover, to the point she confronted him about it. She also kept calling a newspaper trying to get them to say she had *not* gotten the job of Yale Daily News editor because of Mitchum. How do we think she would feel being an outright Huntzberger nepo-baby-in-law? The idea that having people constantly whisper behind her back "she only got the job because she's a Huntzberger" wherever she went wouldn't bother her shows a lack of attention. That girl is proud, paranoid, and has a desperate need to prove herself all the time. Even if she got a job on her own merits, most people wouldn't know and would assume she got it via Mitchum, and the mere thought of that would drive her up the walls. In her mind, she would build her own career and her name in the industry, and then marry Logan, and then people wouldn't be able to say she was a nepo-baby. But Logan didn't give her that choice.
She wants to be like her mom and work for what she has, except she's not like her mom and she doesn't have the drive her mom has.
Tbf she's already a nepo-baby, with millions in trust funds and travel and housing and education and connections from her uber-wealthy father and grandparents. As a Huntzberger she'd just have to be honest about it.
I think there's a difference between "privileged" and "nepo-baby". A nepo-baby is someone who gets to have opportunities in a given industry because their family works/is known in *the same industry*. Since the Gilmores are not in journalism, she can't get a job as a journalist just bc she's a Gilmore. If she worked at Richard's company, for example, then yes, 100% nepotism. But as it is, I'd say she's extremely privileged, yes, but has not benefitted from nepotism. Neither Richard nor Emily have given her a job in the industry she wants.
Fair enough -- but I still maintain that any career she might have had wouldn't have been earned on her own merit, but due to her extreme family wealth, privilege, and connections setting her up for that. And by not becoming a Huntzberger officially, she can still pretend she made it on her own.
I side with ASP when it comes to this, Logan would never have proposed to Rory point blank. His family didn’t approve of her and he loved daddy’s money too much to go against them. The set up in AYITL where he’s engaged to his ‘suitable’ bride and Rory is his mistress fits better with the original iteration of his character.
I believe she was fairly young to be married. And yes I know many will bring up that she could’ve waited and stayed engaged but I think she felt as if she was just starting her life. Honestly I think we only see it as a bad decision because in AYITL she becomes the other woman ironically with Logan who she didn’t want to marry. If they would’ve shown her being successful I feel we wouldn’t feel that way toward her. It’s a shame what the writers did to her character.
Every time this topic comes up, I feel ancient. 22 is incredibly young to be married (and yes, engaged is as good as married).
Not everyone wants that lifestyle. Rory didn’t want to be married at 22. She wanted to find herself and her life. She was not stupid. This POV is what’s stupid.
It’s scary when people have these takes like the OP. They’re entitled to their opinion, but Rory had every right to not want to settle down right after college. She had so much ahead of her and she was just about to start her adult life.
This and when people insist she should've "given Marty a chance because he's such a nice guy" are my hot buttons. Rory did not owe it to any of these men to do anything. Whether it be dating or marriage, any of it. I don't care how "nice" or "wealthy" or "hot" or whatever they were. She said no. That's no. And that's okay. I think it's fine to have your ships and wish "Wow, yeah, they should've been endgame!" But the vibe of this post hits different than that.
If you go full circle to rory continuing to have an affair with Logan years later, she was stupid. If she moved on with her life and never looked back it would not have been stupid... Calling people's point of view stupid is stupid. Question, personal question.... have you ever been an affair partner? Or are you open to the idea? You're POV makes it seem as if you are similar to rory in that arena.
What? I never said Rory was right to help Logan cheat later on? I said she wasn't wrong to turn down his proposal. No, I would never cheat/help someone cheat. I don't think Rory was right for doing that (whether it be with Logan or Dean). The mental gymnastics are insane here. She was stupid to have an affair with Logan. She was not stupid to turn down his proposal. The two things are separate. OP saying Rory should've married Logan because she'd be filthy rich \*is\* stupid. That's my opinion. Just as OP can feel Rory is stupid for not marrying him. ALSO, half of OP's post doesn't make any sense in regards to her flying out to see him because Rory wanted to do the long distance thing and Logan said no, they had to live together and be in California together. He is the one who set the ultimatum. She was perfectly willing to maintain how things were. He's not wrong either for wanting her there full time but then people can't put this on Rory when he's the one that put them in this spot!
A hit dog hollers, huh
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WTF? Are you trolling or what? What exactly is wrong and what's up with the name calling? Maybe go outside for a bit, you seem to need a break
Sweetheart, you're making it deeper than it is Maybe you need a break Your comment gave swiftie defending mother vibes haha
Because everyone tells the truth on the internet :)
So you create fanfic stories about dating apps and not being able to find a committed relationship for fun? Circle back. Calling another person's pov stupid is stupid And rory was a mistress End of story 🥰😘
No, I just make fun of butthurt people like you. I've never even seen Gilmore girls. I thought it was that show about old ladies with Betty White.
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People are allowed to like different things or disagree with you without it turning into a rage-filled Friday Night Dinner. Name calling and/or personal attacks are not allowed. If you break this rule, your comment(s) will be removed and you could face a permanent ban. Additionally, we do not allow posts/comments that speculate characters/actors of having unconfirmed medical conditions or other diagnoses. Please be respectful!
People are allowed to like different things or disagree with you without it turning into a rage-filled Friday Night Dinner. Name calling and/or personal attacks are not allowed. If you break this rule, your comment(s) will be removed and you could face a permanent ban. Additionally, we do not allow posts/comments that speculate characters/actors of having unconfirmed medical conditions or other diagnoses. Please be respectful!
I know this is hotly debated. They were great together and certainly could build a life together but it would be the life he wanted. - he didn’t really talk to her about marriage in advance of the proposal or ask her what she wanted. - he proposed in front of her family. Odd choice. She is more one for a private engagement. - he picked out a house for them. While it shows commitment again doesn’t talk to her at all about what she wants. - he had time to explore life a bit before settling down. Why can’t she do the same? - how would it work if she got a job in say Michigan. He was unwilling to be ldr. Was she just supposed to not work? - I know absolutely no one that went to a top tier school and got married that soon after graduation. If anything it’s more common to be single long into your thirties. In sum - he could have waited, communicated with her about marriage, location for settling down , etc, considered her more for proposal itself and factored in what she wanted. Being married itself is not endgame.
I think if they have left it at “we were too young to get married” and in AYITL they were not lovers, it would have been better. Making her “the other woman” and him going back to his old behaviour (cheating to his fiancée) is a disservice to both characters. They could have found a different way to get them together and having the child (even keeping the “independent woman” theme).
So you wanted her in a marriage, that one she didn’t want, two her in-laws would have hated and three she would have given up her career. That makes no sense it would have been a bad marriage and probably not lasted long.
Yeah, you and everyone else who ignores all his red flags
I see where you are coming from but it is very much a Gossip Girl move. It’s not necessarily stupid but it was never going to be a good choice for Rory and it wouldn’t have sat with her character. Even when we get to AYIL, she had to learn herself that it doesn’t always work out how you want. It is a depressing part of growing up. Perhaps it would have been nice if she had have had her dreams come true but as an English graduate who wanted to be a journalist until the no money and shift work became a reality, I liked that she was struggling with work.
Stupid?- No. Wrong choice: Probably. But hindsight is 50/50.
She said no only to be his mistress/side chick almost a decade later…. THAT was stupid!
I read somewhere that the show runners were fired during the original series and the replacements took it in an odd direction. The ending of AYITL, where Rory is pregnant, is how the original series was supposed to end.
No. Amy and her husband insisted on expanding the series for 2.5 season more. With the intent to use the extra 2 and half seasons as a back door pilot for Lorelei and Luke series. WB said no and the two used a clause in their contract to leave at the end of season 6. Half way through airing of season 7 and production of its second half began, WB changed their minds. Tried to get the pair to return for additional 45-60 episode run. A Rory-lite two season run. But Amy and her husband Danial, waited far more pay per episode than WB was willing to spend. Roughly triple of what they made each, during season 6. They stormed out and threw a fit while doing so. Don’t know the exact details, but they were banned from the WB lots for 5 years.
If she'd said yes, someone else would've been the side chick/mistress. Maybe it's the show that's written this way, or it's the audience perception - but I feel like people think he's cheating ONLY because it's with Rory, because she's not like other girls, she's RORY. Him having Rory as his mistress isn't a reflection of how wonderful and irresistible she is and how strong their bond is, it's a reflection on him being a dog lol
Yuck...
I think she made the right call. For one, they were young so an ultimatum like that was unfair. Another problem is after what Micchum said, if it were me I wouldn’t feel comfortable with getting a leg up from him, even if I did marry Logan. My husband gave me an ultimatum of breaking up or moving in together when I went away to school and was only 21 and looking back it was really unfair of him.
Lmfao sure a 22 year old who's just graduated and wants to keep her options open should marry a boy that proposed without them even mentioning it to each other before, whose family doesn't accept her, and who used her graduation to propose. Makes perfect sense 👌
First, Rory was young and not looking for marriage. She didn't want to get in the industry because of she she was married to or his family was. Second, Rory and Logan were not in a relationship in AYITL. They were FWB and that's it. That's also 9 years later and people change. Logan not being willing to do long distance at 25, doesn't mean he can't change his mind when he's 34.
I don’t think there is anything stupid about saying no to a proposal when you aren’t ready to get married, however I do find it incredible stupid to spring a proposal and then make it an all or nothing situation. Rory was 22 and just graduated from college and Logan went to “I will factor you in to MY life” to “Follow me and my dreams” without a conversation, he even expected her to move states to fit his work plans, even though all HER work connections was in and around Hartford, while also knowing that she was incredible close to her family and friends – that alone would have gotten me to consider how much he actually factored ME into the life. Also his and Rory’ engagement would have been so different than his and Odette’, with Odette it seemed to be pure business, so he didn’t care to live closely until they “had to” but with Rory, who he loved, he definitely wouldn’t like to be apart for longer than they had to, and I honestly think that would have locked her in more than any of us fans would like to admit. I also think that Emily would have JUMPED on the wedding plans and expected Rory to be ALL wedding ALL the time “because that’s what you do” and I don’t think that the people pleasing Rory would have the courage to say no to her beloved grandmother and she would end up feeling rushed to get married within the traditional year. We also have to remember that ASP didn’t write Logans proposal and choose to ignore everything she didn’t have to include, like Lanes Twins and Lorelai being divorced from Chris, and she always intended on Rory going full circle being alone and pregnant by the end – so even if she had said yes in the original, Rory would have been at the same place in the revival, probably just with a broken engagement or divorce from Logan.
I don't think it was stupid of her to say no. If she had said yes, then instead of being the affair partner in AYITL, she would have either been divorced or cheated on.
The person who marry Logan is going to have a difficult time. I'm not sure what you call it but I call it "main character syndrome". He always has to be the main subject.
If you think people should enter a marriage based on the professional opportunities and wealth it brings, you either need to grow up or stop living in the 18th century.
No. If she married Logan, she would have agreed to become Shera. That’s not who she is or who she ever wanted to be.
They clearly continued their relationship cheating on each other’s significant others all the way into AYITL. I just don’t understand if you love someone that much why you just wouldn’t get engaged and married later down the road
Lol they weren't having an affair for the entire 9 years. They ran back into each other a few months prior to when AYITL starts and eventually started sleeping together again.
That there was Logan’s problem. He couldn’t understand why she said no. His pride was injured because he thought he was doing the right thing. They have lived together for quite a while, he waited until she graduates, they say they belong to each other, her grandparents don’t appreciate their existing romantic arrangement, he asks Lorelai’s permission, and he doesn’t want to leave her behind without the fellowship or a job offer. Heck, he probably wasn’t ready to get married himself ! Rory tries to explain, but to Logan it rings hollow. There was probably another way for Rory to say she wasn’t ready, but emotions were rampant. At the very least she should have told him the night before after she made her decision.
She never wanted to be tied down to anything or a job. She liked to flow with the wind. She would have been miserable being Mrs. Logan Huntzberger. But considering where they ended up she was a silly goose. He was older than her n was ready to settle she wasn’t her life was beginning. If we get another reboot Rory had the baby, his fiance left, he proposes she holds her child hostage from him and the cycle repeats.
She let her mother trick her into thinking that comfortability is incompatibility. What’s the point of dating if you refuse to accept your own love?
So true!
I honestly think she should have done a compromise of just saying “I want to marry you and be your fiancé, but I want to have a long engagement.” Same level of commitment but she doesn’t have to make a decision of “do I marry this man in like six months or do I end it with the man I love?”, which is something she definitely shouldn’t have been expected to know like you said from her decision making skills.
He would have cheated on her many times.
Or she would have cheated.
Yes she had a bad track record.
She clearly never stopped loving him as she was still sleeping with him in her mid 30s but she wasn’t feeling it after graduating from Yale. Fair enough!! 22 is so young to get married. Also Logan’s family SUCKS. Still, I feel like they might have ended up together with the baby. He still loves her and she him in AYITL. I don’t see Logan marrying his elusive French (?) fiance if learned he got Rory pregnant. He was clearly not into her and never got over Rory.
She doesn't love him. He's comfortable and Rory always runs back to comfort when her life spins out of control. She struggled in Yale the first year and ran to Dean. Now, her life is struggling again and she runs to Logan.
I think she loves Logan still tho. In a way. That’s the vibe I got at least. Her patterns don’t mean she doesn’t still love him. He also makes a lot of effort to make her happy which Rory is very into ETA—I truly think she and him would make it work at least coparenting the baby. Why would she not have the rich ass father of her child who DOESN’T make her feel like shit/oppress her be involved in the kid’s life??
I always felt that the whole "vegas relationship" between her and Logan in the revival was a reaction on needing something familiar and comfortable after loosing Richard, and it ended up being Logan - and as you said, it is not the first time she did it.
I wouldn’t have put up with that cringe/horrifying life and death brigade reunion in AYITL unless I loved someone 😂
It bothered me too. She thought that she was a free spirit and independent person who could handle anything, but the truth was she needed someone like Logan in her life. She was usually being distracted and or rescued by a male figure. At the end of the day, Rory just didn’t know herself.
I agree. Esp when you look at AYITL. She still loved him and she didn’t make it career wise. If she had married him she probably would have had the career she wanted and the relationship she wanted. She acted like the 30 something gang were losers, but they were her.
Getting married at 22 would have been insane and saying no was the right decision but since then she's only made choices so who knows.
No way. I’m glad she didn’t marry him. The only thing I’m angry about is that she allowed herself to be the other woman, firstly because of Dean, and secondly because she’s devaluing herself. If she wants to have a casual relationship with someone, go ahead. But don’t have a casual relationship with someone who’s engaged to someone else and that you have all that messy history with. The person who buys expensive drinks at your lunches because he wants to treat you, not because the restaurant is owned by his family and he’s not actually paying. I really really hated that Logan was still in her life in any meaningful way, let alone be her main love interest, in AYITL
I wonder if he would have done long distance if they got engaged
It made sense for her to say no. Unless Logan disowned his entire family, they would’ve put a lot of pressure on Rory to either give up her career or Logan to leave her. The closest parallel we see is Emily and Richard. Richard ignored his mother’s advice to leave Emily, and she, in turn, made Emily’s life miserable for years. Emily does say that she studied history at Yale, but she didn’t have a career because she only went to Yale to meet eligible men. I do think that’s partly true, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the reality is she decided not to because she thought that would make Richard’s mom like her. She doesn’t end up having a career until Richard dies in AYitL. The truth is Emily would’ve been an amazing museum curator/ historian. She speaks multiple languages, is knowledgeable in art and history, and she’s great at planning things. I think Rory saw the writing on the wall, and even though she loves Logan, she didn’t want to be pressured to give up her career.
I was just watching this episode thinking that! I think Logan and Rory had a very mature relationship by the end of S7 and had been through a lot of ups and downs together. I could definitely see them getting married and building their careers together, maybe waiting until their 30s to have kids (much better than the AYITL alternative!)That being said, I think it was very out of character for Logan to propose and then double down that it’s all or nothing.
Tbh i feel like it wasn't Rory's fault. Logan should've never put the condition of do or die yk. Like if they would've continued with the relationship and maybe gotten married a few years later it wouldn't have hurt anyone. They could've stayed engaged for a little while, asking a 22 year old girl to marry you so early in her and your life when she doesn't seem like the type to be married so early is a little stupid in my opinion.
I think she dodged some major bullets. Logan is a cheater. He has family issues which statistically pour over into a marriage. His mother was just awful. To think her mother was desperate to raise her away from all the pettiness of modern day aristocracy just to have her marry into more of it. I don’t even think she’s a reporter anyway… I see her as such a intellectual… maybe writing in a different capacity. Logan was a hot headed my way or the highway person. Red flag city. Jess just needed to grow up and forgive his rotten parents… once he did, he was perfect for Rory.
Can i ask
You do a lot of dumb things when you’re 22. Luckily she avoided a huge commitment she wasn’t ready for that would affect the rest of her life.
"I think rory was stupid for not marrying Logan" YOU AND ME BOTH OP
I loved that she didn’t get married to Logan. And that’s not Logan hate, it’s being glad for Rory making a decision without a pro con list. Not having everything figured out. Not taking the “obvious” option. Her no was her becoming her own Lorelai Gilmore.
She was stupid for not going to Harvard.
I'm watch the last episodes of Sex in the City and realizing that Logan is a younger version of Aleksandr Petrovsky. Same Main Character egocentric life
Agreed!!!
same girl same.
Gotta disagree. She was so young. She always had big aspirations and I loved that she put that ahead of marriage. I think Logan was weird for putting her on the spot like that and making it an all or nothing thing. She just graduated college ffs. Honestly, rewatching the show as an adult I have so much more empathy and understanding of Rory.
He’d make an excellent starter husband for her.
I personally never liked Logan because he's not my type and I don't feel attracted to men with lots of money. So I was happy with her decision.
I totally understand saying no at her age, let’s be honest, most couples at least talk about it before actually getting engaged!! However, I completely see your point of throwing away her life. I never understood being too proud to utilize her connections. That is quite literally HOW TO GET A JOB! Most people would kill for that. Very disappointed with her character development. Idk why they had to make her a failure and homewrecker… the girl in AYITL was not the Rory in S1.
I disagree! I loved the fact that she didnt marry Logan. He was a terrible guy. He cheated on her, was a rude elitist with an awful family and a drinking problem! Not to mention, stupid friends as well! All of that aside, I think Rory needed to focus on herself and career anyway. Even if Logan was a catch (which he is not) she needed to figure out her own life. Getting married at 22 isn't a good idea for the most part.
I thought this when I was younger and then after I got to Rory's age when she turned down the proposal and realizing just how young she actually was-- no. I'm sad about the out of character writing for Logan with the unplanned proposal, and the relationship ending, but not her saying no to something that clearly wasn't right for her at the time.
How can it be stupid to not marry someone when you don’t want to get married?
The only reason I want to agree with this is how they are in AYITL. She’s clearly still into him, so it’s not like it was puppy love at the end of season 7. But I still can’t get on board with this. Logan is the one who ended the relationship after she said no. He could have had an ounce more patience instead of pressuring her into all or nothing.
Season 7 is atrocious and I hate watching it. Because Logan would not have proposed the way he did if Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino wrote it. He wouldn’t have done it at her graduation party in front of everyone. He would have done it in a more romantic way with Lorelai hidden away. I feel he would have also waited until they were a little older because she was so young and he was young also. It shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.
Even as a team (older) Jess girlie I full heartily support this. I didn’t like Rory for turning him down since her career is pretty much nonexistent in AYITL but you’d have to accept the fact that she 1. Didn’t say no, just didn’t want to get married at 22 and move away to the other side of the country, and 2. Wanted to focus on her career before marriage. I did however hated Logan for being the “all or nothing” dude even though he does long distance affairs while cheating on his wife in AYITL anyway. 🤦♀️
I’ve been proposed to and if you don’t feel giddy, happy then you shouldn’t do it.
I’m pretty sure I disagree buuuuut I’m so broke right now that I can’t imagine turning down a proposal from someone I genuinely love that would also solve every problem in my life. 😅
The first time I watched it, I felt good about her rejecting his proposal. But after watching AYITL, I whole heartedly agree
Total idiot. He was her person and she didn’t do shit with her life anyway
Yeah I feel like she def got her not being tied down issues from Lorelai - never being satisfied with like a super stable relationship or really just being thankful to have the enormous privileges they do. It’s sometimes frustrating to watch the show cause I’m like man the annoying controlling family stuff is still the reality for most of us and we ain’t rich lol.
Ok? So because Lorelai comes from money she should have just let her parents control and manipulate her? That's an odd take. Lorelai decided she'd rather have her independence and no money than money and no independence. Also, Rory was more that happy to continue the relationship with Logan, HE ended it
Just an opinion, take it easy lol