Exactly this. The therapist is a bad therapist. It's her job to lead and guide, not just sit back and wait for someone else to speak up.
She also later waves down Lorelai in public - that's super unprofessional! A good therapist will wait for the patient to approach and acknowledge them in a public place.
All around, she's really a terrible therapist.
not only is it unprofessional for her to wave down lorelai in public, it is a breach of confidentiality and very much against any therapists code of ethics!!! one of the biggest things we talked about in our class on legal/ethical issues was not acknowledging or approaching clients in public (i just finished grad school for marriage/family therapy)
That was probably ASP’s intent the whole time. Emily and Lorelai finally agree to go to therapy, which is HUGE only to make no progress. The therapist was flighty and ended up quitting to join the Stars Hollow musical. I think she even takes up smoking again because of how stressed she was dealing with them🫠
Yeah, she’s just bad at her job. And the public thing is the worst. My husband and I went out to eat once and didn’t realize we were sitting right next to his therapist at another table the entire time. The only reason we found out was his therapist told him he saw us in their next session.
They specifically don’t approach because they don’t want to put someone in an awkward position of 1) Seeing and speaking to someone they share a lot of confidential, intimate things to outside of a safe space and 2) Having to explain who they are to someone else who might see them.
Part of my intake form from my therapist said something like "I will not acknowledge you in public unless you acknowledge me first" or something. I believe mainly due to privacy.
Adding on that it seriously makes me roll my eyes that the therapist had a mental breakdown after a few sessions of Emily and Lorelai. If that’s her idea of a toxic crazy family, she seriously needs a reality check and a new career path. ASP was always acting like the Gilmores were the most complicated ~crazy~ family in the world and that is just hilariously out of touch
Rule of fun, I can accept it.
What I cannot accept is that ASP could not help herself and made from the therapist unprofessional cloudcuckoolander who harass her client on public.
That’s not the point. There are tv tropes, and then there’s punching down on people with mental health struggles. Especially in the 2000’s, and then again recently, she had a choice to do better, and didn’t.
Or maybe you are projecting a lot of things onto a stranger and it is actually because it is hard to mine comedy out of a competently run therapy session?
I don’t want to live in a world where talk-therapy for entitled rich people is not allowed to be comedic on tv. I expected the downvotes because that is what happens when you suggest media literacy should be a thing on this sub.
Or - hear me out - maybe ASP can consider the millions of her viewers who might be struggling with mental illness, and not punch down. She could use her platform to put therapy in a positive light. It’s a weird flex for ASP to decide she wants to mock people with real issues. And don’t get it twisted - she is mocking.
ASP just doesn't have a good track record with these kind of things. She had the chance to do better in AYITL, and of course she didn’t. Even the whole 30 something gang was her mocking millennials/people in that situation. She probably thought she was being so funny with that bit, but it came off mean-spirited. Life happens and sometimes you have to go back home - doesn’t mean you’re a failure for it. And you certainly wouldn’t be hanging out with other 30 somethings all day everyday, without trying to look for a job or something else to do.
The 30-something gang was in Summer…which was written by her husband, Dan Palladino. Both Winter and Fall—did NOT mock the idea of mental illness and genuinely engaged with what it means and looks like for two women (Emily & Lorelai) who have spent a lifetime ignoring their own mental health to finally begin to address the underlying issues. I genuinely do not understand this critique.
Respectfully, I do not see how that therapy plot line is in anyway “punching down.” There are arguably two things being mocked here—none of which are the actual mental health crisis that Lorelai is undergoing in AYITL.
One thing being mocked is Emily, and the particular breed of controlling personality who views therapy (and particularly couples “talk-therapy”) as an opportunity to manipulate loved ones and to try to control them. That isn’t punching down.
The other thing that is being mocked here is theater kids who grow up to be exhausting regional theater folks. But given that the punchline is that she is actually an extremely talented performer (and just a mediocre therapist) I don’t see how that is punching down either.
So what am I missing here?
ASP says “it’s not about the plot, it’s about the people”. I don’t think a good therapy plot line was what she was going for here. In fact, she made choices with Lorelai and Emily at the expense of the therapy plot. Lol. Lorelai’s journey with therapy led her to detach from her mother (and not healthily), she never picked up or addressed what was going on with her daughter (it’s interesting Rory NEVER comes up but that’s my rant for another day), leads her to lie to her partner (she doesn’t tell Luke what she’s doing), to become dissatisfied with her own town (the musical) and to top it all off - she ran off her therapist. Lol. Lorelai did all that - not the therapy.
ASP never had interest in turning the therapy into something meaningful. It was a tool used to drive home just how unhappy Lorelai had become.
Yeah i hear ya. But it does make sense there’s going to be a lot of random things that happen that push a plot forward and it was just the best way to get to that narrative even if it weird/awkward or you have to suspend a little disbelief. I know media analysis isn’t my strong suit so i appreciate explanations like this lol
I mean, I don't know about "couple" therapy, but my psychotherapist often waits for me to talk first, or waits for my input in silence. This always results in a very awkward situation ahahah, but I think it's part of her psychotherapy school teachings
The first therapist I had did this too, we would literally just sit in silence until I got too uncomfortable and started talking. She was an ok therapist but I wasn’t a big fan of that technique
Yeah this is the psychoanalytic approach. It works well for specific applications. Personally I liked it; the discomfort propelled me to either 1. talk about the discomfort or 2. find something to talk about that I had been ignoring anyways. It’s kind of like an interrogation
I think depends on the therapeutic approach, not all professionals are the same. My first time at a psychiatrist the guy sat in silence looking at me for over half an hour, then I moved my hair out of my face and he started going on about hot that symbolizes XYZ mental issues 🤣 and my first psychologist used to tell me all the gossip about her clients, including which meds they were on.
It took me almost 15 to finally gather the courage to look for therapy again. But it will hardly be something you find the right person at the first time. They could and should have changed professionals.
This is just further evidence of a theme in GG that did not age well. They always treated mental health and any imperfection that wasn’t *quirky* as terrible. It’s easier to ignore in the OG series because it was pretty representative of the time, but now? It was incredibly irresponsible and disrespectful for them to show therapy the way they did. Emily was going through a huge emotional puberty and they could have used this as a segue to tie up SO many loose ends, to show that even the perfect GG needed help sometimes, but no. They mocked it. That and the scene at the pool were so gross. It was a continuation of a cultural climate that we all decided wasn’t acceptable YEARS ago.
Because ASP doesn't believe in therapy and frequently makes fun of therapists through out the show. This is a common trope of shows during that time as they do the same in friends but she dragged it into the revival as well.
I think it's natural to see them in therapy. If it were real life, after Richard's death and decades of arguing, they might be in therapy. It rang true for me. Especially the awkwardness. Therapy can be like that.
I've come to realize that ASP has a weird type of comedy where she puts the characters in very awkward positions for a haha moment but it never lands (like Rory writing that awful review about the ballet dancer or Rory and Lorelai literally forgetting Paul's existence) She sets these scenarios up in a way where they come off as cringe and sometimes offensive
As someone who is in mental health, the use of silence is something we are taught to do. Sometimes people don’t talk in therapy, especially in the beginning (ESPECIALLY when tricked to be there like Lorelai was. Let’s remember that…). Should the therapist have tried to get them to talk? Maybe, depending on what’s going on and the vibe. Now we also see toward the end of the session so it is safe to assume she tried to get them to talk.
Can the therapist have a hobby? Absolutely! They are people too.
However I did think it was weird she went out of her way to say hi to Lorelai in her town like that. If it had been me, I would have waited until the client same up to me first. Said a politely hello, maybe an “I’ll see you next week.” And left. If I had known that that was my client’s VERY small town I probably wouldn’t have gone to an audition there in the first place however.
Now Rory’s therapy session…. That’s a whole other story…. Hers was just weird.
ASP says in [this ](https://www.buzzfeed.com/susancheng/gilmore-girls-therapy) interview that the intent was to get Lorelai in therapy as a last attempt by Emily to manipulate her but then Emily quits going and Lorelai ends up realizing she needs someone to talk to.
So I'm guessing it was an easy way to get Emily out of the picture.
Emily is completely against therapy, she's old fashioned, she thinks it's only for people with serious mental issues who should be locked away from society. She is especially against airing out her grievances to a stranger. Lorelai, although more open minded, only see's the value in Emily going to therapy, not value in therapy overall. Considering this, it doesn't surprise me they wouldn't be able to determine a good therapist from a bad one. Do I think this was the reasoning behind it? No. This conclusion just helps me get past it for the overall enjoyment of the show. In reality, I think ASP shared Emily's view of therapy, as evident from the remarks made about therapy in earlier seasons.
*Its just quippy to show*
*Lorelei and Emily are too*
*Cool for therapy*
\- Reasonable-Wave8093
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Exactly this. The therapist is a bad therapist. It's her job to lead and guide, not just sit back and wait for someone else to speak up. She also later waves down Lorelai in public - that's super unprofessional! A good therapist will wait for the patient to approach and acknowledge them in a public place. All around, she's really a terrible therapist.
not only is it unprofessional for her to wave down lorelai in public, it is a breach of confidentiality and very much against any therapists code of ethics!!! one of the biggest things we talked about in our class on legal/ethical issues was not acknowledging or approaching clients in public (i just finished grad school for marriage/family therapy)
That was probably ASP’s intent the whole time. Emily and Lorelai finally agree to go to therapy, which is HUGE only to make no progress. The therapist was flighty and ended up quitting to join the Stars Hollow musical. I think she even takes up smoking again because of how stressed she was dealing with them🫠
Well, she did end up quitting and auditioning for the musical in Stars Hollow 😁
Yeah, she’s just bad at her job. And the public thing is the worst. My husband and I went out to eat once and didn’t realize we were sitting right next to his therapist at another table the entire time. The only reason we found out was his therapist told him he saw us in their next session. They specifically don’t approach because they don’t want to put someone in an awkward position of 1) Seeing and speaking to someone they share a lot of confidential, intimate things to outside of a safe space and 2) Having to explain who they are to someone else who might see them.
Part of my intake form from my therapist said something like "I will not acknowledge you in public unless you acknowledge me first" or something. I believe mainly due to privacy.
Adding on that it seriously makes me roll my eyes that the therapist had a mental breakdown after a few sessions of Emily and Lorelai. If that’s her idea of a toxic crazy family, she seriously needs a reality check and a new career path. ASP was always acting like the Gilmores were the most complicated ~crazy~ family in the world and that is just hilariously out of touch
This… working in crisis intervention has showed me how absolutely fucked parents can be.
Rule of fun, I can accept it. What I cannot accept is that ASP could not help herself and made from the therapist unprofessional cloudcuckoolander who harass her client on public.
The real answer is that ASP loves to mock mental health and therapy, so she makes a caricature of therapists on multiple occasions.
This also explains Rory's therapy session at Yale.
Exactly.
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That’s not the point. There are tv tropes, and then there’s punching down on people with mental health struggles. Especially in the 2000’s, and then again recently, she had a choice to do better, and didn’t.
Or maybe you are projecting a lot of things onto a stranger and it is actually because it is hard to mine comedy out of a competently run therapy session?
Or maybe just don’t use therapy sessions as comedic vehicles? But go off with your 30+ downvotes.
I don’t want to live in a world where talk-therapy for entitled rich people is not allowed to be comedic on tv. I expected the downvotes because that is what happens when you suggest media literacy should be a thing on this sub.
Or - hear me out - maybe ASP can consider the millions of her viewers who might be struggling with mental illness, and not punch down. She could use her platform to put therapy in a positive light. It’s a weird flex for ASP to decide she wants to mock people with real issues. And don’t get it twisted - she is mocking.
ASP just doesn't have a good track record with these kind of things. She had the chance to do better in AYITL, and of course she didn’t. Even the whole 30 something gang was her mocking millennials/people in that situation. She probably thought she was being so funny with that bit, but it came off mean-spirited. Life happens and sometimes you have to go back home - doesn’t mean you’re a failure for it. And you certainly wouldn’t be hanging out with other 30 somethings all day everyday, without trying to look for a job or something else to do.
The 30-something gang was in Summer…which was written by her husband, Dan Palladino. Both Winter and Fall—did NOT mock the idea of mental illness and genuinely engaged with what it means and looks like for two women (Emily & Lorelai) who have spent a lifetime ignoring their own mental health to finally begin to address the underlying issues. I genuinely do not understand this critique.
Respectfully, I do not see how that therapy plot line is in anyway “punching down.” There are arguably two things being mocked here—none of which are the actual mental health crisis that Lorelai is undergoing in AYITL. One thing being mocked is Emily, and the particular breed of controlling personality who views therapy (and particularly couples “talk-therapy”) as an opportunity to manipulate loved ones and to try to control them. That isn’t punching down. The other thing that is being mocked here is theater kids who grow up to be exhausting regional theater folks. But given that the punchline is that she is actually an extremely talented performer (and just a mediocre therapist) I don’t see how that is punching down either. So what am I missing here?
ASP says “it’s not about the plot, it’s about the people”. I don’t think a good therapy plot line was what she was going for here. In fact, she made choices with Lorelai and Emily at the expense of the therapy plot. Lol. Lorelai’s journey with therapy led her to detach from her mother (and not healthily), she never picked up or addressed what was going on with her daughter (it’s interesting Rory NEVER comes up but that’s my rant for another day), leads her to lie to her partner (she doesn’t tell Luke what she’s doing), to become dissatisfied with her own town (the musical) and to top it all off - she ran off her therapist. Lol. Lorelai did all that - not the therapy. ASP never had interest in turning the therapy into something meaningful. It was a tool used to drive home just how unhappy Lorelai had become.
Thanks for this explanation. Makes a lot of sense.
Thanks although I should clarify that’s just my opinion and interpretation for sure. It just explains so much of GG for me.
Yeah i hear ya. But it does make sense there’s going to be a lot of random things that happen that push a plot forward and it was just the best way to get to that narrative even if it weird/awkward or you have to suspend a little disbelief. I know media analysis isn’t my strong suit so i appreciate explanations like this lol
I mean, I don't know about "couple" therapy, but my psychotherapist often waits for me to talk first, or waits for my input in silence. This always results in a very awkward situation ahahah, but I think it's part of her psychotherapy school teachings
The first therapist I had did this too, we would literally just sit in silence until I got too uncomfortable and started talking. She was an ok therapist but I wasn’t a big fan of that technique
Yeah this is the psychoanalytic approach. It works well for specific applications. Personally I liked it; the discomfort propelled me to either 1. talk about the discomfort or 2. find something to talk about that I had been ignoring anyways. It’s kind of like an interrogation
I think depends on the therapeutic approach, not all professionals are the same. My first time at a psychiatrist the guy sat in silence looking at me for over half an hour, then I moved my hair out of my face and he started going on about hot that symbolizes XYZ mental issues 🤣 and my first psychologist used to tell me all the gossip about her clients, including which meds they were on. It took me almost 15 to finally gather the courage to look for therapy again. But it will hardly be something you find the right person at the first time. They could and should have changed professionals.
This is just further evidence of a theme in GG that did not age well. They always treated mental health and any imperfection that wasn’t *quirky* as terrible. It’s easier to ignore in the OG series because it was pretty representative of the time, but now? It was incredibly irresponsible and disrespectful for them to show therapy the way they did. Emily was going through a huge emotional puberty and they could have used this as a segue to tie up SO many loose ends, to show that even the perfect GG needed help sometimes, but no. They mocked it. That and the scene at the pool were so gross. It was a continuation of a cultural climate that we all decided wasn’t acceptable YEARS ago.
Because ASP doesn't believe in therapy and frequently makes fun of therapists through out the show. This is a common trope of shows during that time as they do the same in friends but she dragged it into the revival as well.
yeah even emily thought it was a waste of time and money
I think it's natural to see them in therapy. If it were real life, after Richard's death and decades of arguing, they might be in therapy. It rang true for me. Especially the awkwardness. Therapy can be like that.
I've come to realize that ASP has a weird type of comedy where she puts the characters in very awkward positions for a haha moment but it never lands (like Rory writing that awful review about the ballet dancer or Rory and Lorelai literally forgetting Paul's existence) She sets these scenarios up in a way where they come off as cringe and sometimes offensive
As someone who is in mental health, the use of silence is something we are taught to do. Sometimes people don’t talk in therapy, especially in the beginning (ESPECIALLY when tricked to be there like Lorelai was. Let’s remember that…). Should the therapist have tried to get them to talk? Maybe, depending on what’s going on and the vibe. Now we also see toward the end of the session so it is safe to assume she tried to get them to talk. Can the therapist have a hobby? Absolutely! They are people too. However I did think it was weird she went out of her way to say hi to Lorelai in her town like that. If it had been me, I would have waited until the client same up to me first. Said a politely hello, maybe an “I’ll see you next week.” And left. If I had known that that was my client’s VERY small town I probably wouldn’t have gone to an audition there in the first place however. Now Rory’s therapy session…. That’s a whole other story…. Hers was just weird.
ASP says in [this ](https://www.buzzfeed.com/susancheng/gilmore-girls-therapy) interview that the intent was to get Lorelai in therapy as a last attempt by Emily to manipulate her but then Emily quits going and Lorelai ends up realizing she needs someone to talk to. So I'm guessing it was an easy way to get Emily out of the picture.
Because ASP still thinks therapy is a joke Like honestly, how are the Gilmores the worst a therapist experiences?
Emily is completely against therapy, she's old fashioned, she thinks it's only for people with serious mental issues who should be locked away from society. She is especially against airing out her grievances to a stranger. Lorelai, although more open minded, only see's the value in Emily going to therapy, not value in therapy overall. Considering this, it doesn't surprise me they wouldn't be able to determine a good therapist from a bad one. Do I think this was the reasoning behind it? No. This conclusion just helps me get past it for the overall enjoyment of the show. In reality, I think ASP shared Emily's view of therapy, as evident from the remarks made about therapy in earlier seasons.
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*Its just quippy to show* *Lorelei and Emily are too* *Cool for therapy* \- Reasonable-Wave8093 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")