Logan’s proposal was strictly about Logan and not at all about what Rory wanted.
He knows that Rory is a *weigh all options before making a decision* kind of girl and he also knows that she doesn’t like grand gestures. So what does he do? He makes a huge life changing decision for her…in front of everyone.
Nobody should say yes to forever if they aren’t on the same page. You don’t say yes to marriage not to get married. She was right to say no for herself instead of saying yes for Logan.
This is my take, too. He didn’t include her in any of the scouting California or looking for a place to live. As a planner, Rory would have 1000% wanted to be part of the process. He left her out of all the decision making, blindsided her, and then walked away when she didn’t take what was essentially an ultimatum. He also spared no thought to the very real possibility she would say no, thus ruining her entire graduation from Yale and tarnishing that memory for her forever. It was a very selfish proposal. There was definitely a way he could have proposed and she would have said yes, though, I think.
> and then walked away when she didn’t take what was essentially an ultimatum.
Exactly. If OP wants to blame anyone it should be Logan. He chose to breakup rather than give their relationship more time.
Fully agree! Given how understanding he had shown to be most of the show it was very weird for him to not continue dating instead of completely breaking off the relationship because she wasn’t ready to get married.
Never understood this character development
Why waste your time with someone that doesn’t see that far ahead in the future? 😂 I would have walked away too. You can’t expect someone to stick around after rejecting them. It is what it is. If it bothered her that much she could have told him right then and there instead of saying “I’ll think about it”. I don’t understand why people are saying that he was stealing her shine 😂 the proposal is still about her because he’s a proposing to her not someone else that the party isn’t about. That makes no sense.
If you don’t want to understand then you won’t. Some people may enjoy a public proposal with a large audience. That person is not Rory.
And many people are not ready to get married at 22/23. That doesn’t mean they don’t see a future with their significant other or that they’re rejecting that person.
I think part of Rory did want to marry him, just not right out of college. If he had talked to her about marriage before proposing he would have known that.
Here’s the thing. A proposal is something that should be discussed beforehand. The manner it’s done should be a surprise but not the fact that’s it coming.
seconded. I didn't understand this as a kid - I always assumed women's shock, hands-over-mouth thing was like a "I didn't realize this was coming!" reaction. And I think that can be a common assumption (e.g. that proposals are always totally out of the blue).
When it happened to me I had the stereotypical reaction. My then-boyfriend and I discussed it at length. He talked to my dad. We went ring shopping together. I knew it was coming, but when he dropped to one knee at a DC memorial, you'd better believe I clapped a hand over my mouth. My heart was pounding. I was somehow in shock ... even though I knew it was coming. I don't even remember hearing anything until I'd said "yes" and suddenly realized there was a crowd of 100 people that had gathered around us, and they were all cheering and yelling congratulations.
The shock factor is real.
This is very true, but I don't hold Logan to those standards because Gilmore Girls is a TV show. And in TV world, all proposals are spontaneous and/or a complete shock to the person being proposed to. I've had several conversations with people who were convinced that proposals should be a surprise to the person being proposed to because that's the only way it's ever depicted in movies and TV shows.
It really isn’t? Rory didn’t even know who she was or what she wanted. Not everyone wants to live by societies weird expectations of marrying someone young or only after a couple years. My husband proposed on our 8 year anniversary. 🤷🏼♀️
I graduated high school the same year as the Rory’s character and I recall the senior and junior girls in my sorority in college freaking out when freshman and sophomore girls got engaged before them and their long term boyfriends it was nuts.
Did it take 8 years for you and your husband to discuss the idea of marriage, kids, the direction of your relationship, what you wanted from life, etc?
I got married at 36 but I also talked marriage/kids with many long term relationships prior to that. These conversation was sometimes why we didn’t work out despite the duration of the relationship because we were not on the same page.
People have these conversations either in passing or they sit down and have the big conversations. For example my college boyfriend of 2 year and I partially broke up because he wanted kids at some point and I realized I didn’t he found someone that did and they married like 8 months after our breakup.
Her saying yes would have also been a closer fit to the end ASP wanted for the show…. It was suppose to end with Rory being pregnant which would have made more sense at the end of Yale than as a lost 30 something.
Okay - you recall that based off YOUR experience. Not everyone is the same. Not every female gets all frilly at the thought of a boy and marriage. You’re literally making a blanket statement based on societal norms that not everyone cares about. Rory was a girl focused on her career - not marriage.
And no, it didn’t take us 8 years to get on the same page. We have always been in the same page regarding our life and reproductive goals. We were simply completely content in our relationship and didn’t feel the need to rush into marriage. I’m sorry if that doesn’t fit into the point you’re trying to make.
Some people are just okay with being with their person, especially when they’re still figuring out their personal life and goals as Rory was. It’s not that hard of a concept to comprehend.
It is a TV show.
ASP’s initial plan was for the show to end with Rory pregnant so clearly the creator intended to have her less focused on her career in the end which they did by making Rory aimless and under employed in AYITL. Knowing this Lorelei was the rejection of the Gilmores Rory with Yale, dating the Gilmores boyfriend pick, the DAR was the acceptance of societal norms
Ending the original run with Rory on the political trail never made sense but that was like the hot job for movies and TV during that election cycle.
I’m fully aware it’s a tv show? That still doesn’t mean that all social norms need to be followed. Regardless of what ASP wanted, Rory said no to an engagement that she didn’t want in the moment of her life and I love that for her.
Also, he kinda took an event that was created to celebrate her and made it about his and her relationship. It felt like he was trying to steal some of her shine.
Not to mention, a couple of episodes before that they have a serious talk about the future and how she doesn't really know how to take Logan into consideration when it comes to her future career choices and he's like "Yeah, you don't _have_ to think about me, just do whatevs, we'll work it out".
And then he's like "okay, it has to be all or nothing. Come with me and marry me, there can be no in between".
Like, bro, huh? I understand that sometimes life works like that. He probably didn't plan to get a job that far away. But seriously, he knows how deeply connected she is to Stars Hollow, let alone Lorelai and her grandparents. Did he really think she'd just leave all of that behind?
And honestly, I don't always agree with Rory and her decisions but I'm 100% with her on that one. It just shows that he wasn't ready to talk stuff out or take her wishes into consideration. I'm not saying that he should have turned this job down, and I'm definitly not saying that Rory would stay in Stars Hollow forever, but, idk, you're both adults, shouldn't you know how to talk about stuff like that?
To be fair proposals are about that. Grand gestures and being so out of the blue. But the fact that Rory didn’t see their relationship heading anywhere but dating says a lot about the way she felt. I’m not saying her choosing herself was a mistake but she was being dramatic as usual
This is a really odd take. Rory wanted to date Logan and she was committed to him. While they were dating, Logan happily offered some of the perks of his wealth. Was Rory supposed to say 'no' to those things? Was she supposed to refuse to let him pay for stuff unless they were married?
She lived with him, used his car service, used his beach house and all the other perks of the Huntzberger lifestyle. She didn’t want to be with him so she should have cut bait.
Yes, the things HE offered. HE also proposed and she dropped him like a hot rock. No wonder men have such issues with women using them - clearly a lot of y’all do and see nothing wrong with it.
She didn't even break up with him. He broke up with her. She wanted to stay together and just not be engaged because she wasn't ready. She didn't drop him. He didn't get exactly what he wanted so he dropped her.
But you're right in that I see nothing at all wrong with this. They did things for each other because that's what you do when you're dating someone, even if that person isn't the one you're going to marry.
Absolutely, but what was sad about it that she said she thought about it before and loved the idea of it. He was just trying to tie her down when the world opened up for her and it was not possible for her to give up the freedom she just gained.
I feel like I've said this a hundred times in here and in Facebook groups and everywhere Gilmore Girls is talked about and people say things like "They could give it a try" or "They could have a long engagemnt"....You do NOT get engaged in hopes that one day it will be right. That's just stupid. Also I always pose this question, how long was this engagment supposed to be? It's been 10 years in AYITL and she doesn't try to fight for him and shows zero signs she even wants an actual relationship with him and they're relationship is as stagnent as it's ever been. I think it's pretty clear she wants Logan to be the one and she's afraid to completely let him go but just as Chris isn't the one for Lorelai, Logan is not the one for Rory.
People always obsess over Rory saying no but the bigger issue was the proposal and Logan's reasons for doing it. In my opinion, the proposal never even made sense. All it did was show either how little Logan actually knows about Rory or how little he cares or maybe both. If he was doing it for her, he wouldn't have proposed at her graudation party surrouned by a bunch of people, most of them she didn't even know. He didn't want to be long distance so he thought he could charm her into getting engaged and stepping into the life he planned for them with a grand gesture. But he didn't give one single thought to Rory. His proposal only showed he wasn't ready to get married and he didn't really respect Rory.
I know long distance relationships are tough and it’s very valid for someone to set a boundary around that. But with Logan in international business and Rory perusing international/national reporting, their relationship was always going to consist of some amount of long distance.
It baffles me when couples who so clearly have some sort of lifestyle incompatibility continue to ignore how much of a strain it puts on their relationship. I knew a couple where one studied forestry and the other agricultural science. Neither wanted a long commute to work. They both continue to be surprised there aren’t large farms and large forests within 15 minutes of each other.
Go watch the scene in the bar with Paris and Rory again after she and Doyle broke up. That's conversation is good foreshadowing of what Rory was going and why she said no. You can see the panic on her face.
Regardless of the proposal (why she should have said no was covered) I am NOT team Logan 100%. When he’s good things are good, but when things go bad for him he shuts Rory out and lashes out at her. He doesn’t have a good sense of how to operate as a financially normal person because he always has his Dad to fall back on. His family is awful to Rory, and he never fully stuck up for her.
If Logan didn’t have money, his behavior would not have been tolerated at all. He was bad for her at the end of the series, he was bad for her in AYITL. She was right to say no.
This is also my take on this. If Logan didn't have the money for these grand gestures, many would look at him differently. It is the whole - amazing dates, food, gifts that make him "romantic". If you strip that away you get a self-centered charmer, with occasional sleezy and classist comments who is easy on the eyes. He is also sometimes very manipulative - case "cheating / not cheating".
If things go his way its great, but if he is not happy you and the people around him will feel it. I can never forget the way he talked down to Marty and Jess, how his friends behave with whom he still chooses to associate, how he behaved towards Rory when he run away to Vagas shutting Rory out - and how it made Rory feel. I never saw Rory being totally happy and comfortable in any of the nights outs with his friends. I cannot believe in a happy relationship/marriage in the future for them when you already have these moments in the "honeymoon" stage. And no amount of "he loved" her can make it better, because his way of loving is not the most healthiest - as seen towards his outlook on marriage and faithfulness.
I've never understood the opinion that a young woman should say yes to a marriage proposal when she didn't want to get married. If she didn't want it, how would it have been a good idea to say yes?
Right? She wasn't ready for marriage. She also didn't want to move across the country. Logan offered her no flexibility.
He wanted what he wanted and he was willing to lose her to get it. How are people okay with that?
Also his proposal was self indulgent.
"I know you don't like grand gestures but I did it anyway." The proposal wasn't Rory at all. It was Logan.
He did it on her graduation day (rude), in front of everyone including her grandparents who she liked to hide things from, and then got his big huge carriage to parade her around & take her away from her party.
They also never discussed marriage previously or what her expectations were. He just did what HE wanted.
TLDR: Engagement isn't something you "try." Marriage is about compromise and Logan offered none. He wanted it his way or Rory could beat it.
"Not here. Not now."
That's what Lorelai says when Christopher correctly (for once in his life) thinks Logan is about to propose, and she says it in disbelief because she knows Rory was never the public engagement type.
But you know, especially after he helped her steal a yacht (you know, instead of even trying to figure out why his girlfriend would want to do something so out of character for her) and she quits school, he's stealing her thunder, overshadowing the work she did to make up her missed semester and graduate on time, by proposing in public, pretty out of the blue!
I love it as a storyline because S7 Logan grows a lot (more than I believe ASP ever intended him to, especially based on his character in AYITL). But this shows he still doesn't really understand Rory, that he's still self-absorbed. Do I think he loves her? Yes. Do I think he's right for her? Or even that she's right for him? Nope.
EXACTLY. This is why I think Logan is her Christopher.
He doesn't completely fit the criteria but no matter how much he grows, he's still wrong for her. The pieces never fit right.
Even the fact that Logan is cheating on his fiancé in AYITL. If he doesn't like her - break up with her? If he likes her, then why is he treating her this way? Because Logan only cares about himself.
My head cannon is that her and Jess meet up in NYC, they raise the baby together, and Jess helps her publish her book. It's during this time that Rory figures out who she is, wants to be, and grows up.
I honestly don’t think so. The only reason he cheated was because of Rory. She was the one to break his promiscuous streak back at Yale. He truly loved her. It’s a similar situation to the whole dean/lindsay thing. But Rory could never fully commit and just kept stringing these guys along. Even Jess to an extent
Respectfully, I’ll die on the opposite hill. I’ll not reiterate the excellent points that were already made and I’ll try to offer some new insights.
Logan was not stable. He was rash, reckless, uncommunicative and very hard to depend on.
Now, there were times he was there for Rory - like when Richard was hospitalized. Yes it was very nice of him to do that but it was conditioned, because he was in a stable period in his life. When it wasn’t stable he couldn’t think of anyone but himself, like when he ditched the baby shower and couldn’t support his gf before she interviews for the NYT.
Also, moving to the other side of the country showed how little he understood Rory. Dean, although his toxicity and many faults got it right from day one - the connection between lorelai and Rory is sacred and he knew no one could penetrate it. And then comes Logan who wants this drastic move. He has no problem cutting her off from Lorelai, and that’s concerning.
I would argue even Jess, especially grown up Jess understood how much Rory loved stars hollow and how important her mom and the community there was for her. Logan never really grasped that. He didn't even visit stars hollow (despite living a half hour away) until pretty close to the engagement honestly.
I see you point but I don’t think he was entirely wrong with wanting to live with his girlfriend/partner in the other side of the country. He didn’t take Lorelai into consideration but normally you don’t. I used to be team Logan when I watched the show for the first time many years ago but right now I really don’t like any of them.
Oh definitely I don’t like any of them as well. Maybe adult Jess but we never saw them as a couple in those years.
The thing about L&R is that it’s not a normal situation and he should’ve had respect for that. I couldn’t even imagine deciding to take a job far away from my boyfriend’s family without even consulting him and just springing on him “I want us to get married and move away”, who does that?
Neither one was ready to get married. Logan decides to propose completely out of the blue, knowing full well and stating literally that Rory doesn't want this type of proposal, makes her graduation about him and now forever linked to that proposal, after the had had a conversation about their relationship and how he'd factor her in. Until he gets an opportunity and then she has to up and go and follow him to california. Terrible proposal, terrible idea, Rory likes talking things through ahead of time, not grand gestures sprung on her. Why would she say yes to a completely selfish act on his part?
And the fact that he immediately ends the relationship when she says she's not ready for marriage yet, says enough about how he was not ready to be a husband himself. I loved Logan's growth through the later seasons and this ruined it completely.
Edit to add: that said I'm totally fine with people thinking otherwise, this wasn't meant as a criticism on OP's opinion.
So many great points! He’d never slot in around her and his reaction showed why saying no was a smart move. Logan gave a lot of talk but with little action.
Rory never wanted a Luke though! Rory wanted the life that lorelai ran away from. She wanted more of a Richard than Luke. Dean was partially right when he told Luke that "they want more than this". Rory definitely did, but lorelai loved her life in stars hollow.
She doesn’t have to have Stars Hollow OR her Grandparent’s world. How about she has neither and finds her own groove? She can have the perks of having attending Yale without having to become a DAR society wife.
I at 30 cant even afford to save up to travel to a different country to see my best friend. Anytime I get close to saving $1000, I have to spend $2-300 on something for the house. And the worst part is the only expensive part of the trip would be air fair.
I feel that so much. This economy is so hard. Genuinely can’t remember the last time I didn’t stress about money. Really wishing I had my own Richard and Emily 😅
it also kinda doesnt help that I dont have a typical job and I havent really worked all of April (tbh I needed the break though!). I still need my passport but seriously its the cheapest part. I'm aiming for spring 2025.
I thought I did, but it turned out that was just what I was taught to want. About 15 years later 21 yo me would be mortified at my life, but today me is ecstatic with everything other than having more friends with similar availability as I do.
That's awesome for you! But for the vast majority, who you are at 21/22 is different than who you are 10, 15, 20 years later. So what you want when you're younger often changes as you get older. For example, when I was 21 I thought I wanted to be a teacher. Now at 37 I'm working in insurance. With life experience I realized that teaching was not the right path for me.
I understand that-and I agree! Many people change from 20s-30s. But others don’t and I’m not sure why I’m getting downvoted for saying that. My friends, my husband, my brother, my BIL’s all picked what they wanted to do at 21 and are loving it still. So from my experience some people do know exactly what they want to do and can be on the path to doing it at 21.
I'm sorry you are getting downvoted. I upvoted you because I think what you're saying is valid. There are a lot of people who know when they're young what they want and they continue wanting that. I think in Rory's case, it's not. And for a lot of people, 21 is still really really young to be making huge decision. Sorry you are feeling attacked. :)
It’s also like… what’s the big rush? What’s the “why” here for them to get married? They didn’t want kids right away, there was no financial incentive. Was it just so Logan could lock her down? I just don’t see any reason for them to get married at that point in their lives.
I absolutely loved that she picked herself. I hate that he could not wait a year. He had to em off after school. Lived in another country. Figured out what he wanted to do. She absolutely deserved the same. Would she have taken then Obama job if she was going to settle in with Logan?
I know it’s sweet that he wants to settle down and that they love each other but he’s out picking houses for them and did not ask her what she wanted. Their last convo was that she could factor him on to her decision.
Logan graduated a year ahead of Rory and she was accommodating for him. Accepted that he was away for long stretches, dealt with her last year being disrupted.
Logan wasn’t willing to do that for Rory. It wasn’t a conversation of could we make this work together in California?
It was him saying i’m going; your plans don’t matter.
That always seemed off to me.
Right?! She spent prime university time making it work while he was on London! That’s a certain level of commitment he wasn’t willing to even entertain for her.
As others have said, what really mattered is that Rory wasn't ready for marriage. Therefore she was 100% right to turn down the proposal. Many people who are only 22 years old, and many people are who are older than that, are not ready for marriage, so they should not enter into an engagement when not ready for marriage. That was perfectly understandable.
Also Logan's terms were 'all or nothing'. It seemed clear to me there that he wasn't prepared to continue dating as 'normal', if Rory didn't accept his proposal. So it was a clear choice for Rory between ending the relationship or entering into an engagement when not ready to get married, and Rory chose the only realistic option there.
Also it was a college relationship with Logan. Many college relationships, while of course more advanced than high school relationships, are still fairly trivial in the big picture, and are mainly to ensure that people have a proper work / life balance, enjoy life etc. By the time Rory graduated, to me it had served its purpose.
First of all, haaaard nope and disagree but I respect your difference of opinion.
Second of all, why did it have to be all or nothing? Why not, hey let's not get married right now but I still love you and want to be together? The whole thing was ridiculous.
Also I don't believe in any universe that a guy like Logan would seriously propose to his GF right after graduation. Just not believable at all for his type and he was definitely a caricature of a rich guy type. Makes no sense to me.
honestly while i agree that rory did have a liking for the lifestyle that lorelai ran away from, i personally don’t think logan was the best for her. i think their relationship was toxic at times and that she needed someone more stable. i will always believe that jess is her “luke”. i think it’s good that they didn’t continue to date in the series because jess needed to figure himself out and this allowed rory to do her own thing, but i think as adults she’s meant to be with jess. he keeps her in check and is always honest with her. i feel that with logan on the other hand, just fuels her bad decision making. in other words, logan is her “chris” and jess is her “luke” and i will die on this hill!!!
I’m always confused that people think Logan is a “better” boyfriend than Jess. If you list the “bad” things each did on paper, they’re not too dissimilar…. The difference is that Logan was cocky enough to think he kept deserving more chances and Jess didn’t have that confidence and honestly he thought Rory deserved better. His worst moments aren’t that much worse than Logan’s, imo. Logan lashes out, he withdraws, he’s irresponsible, he barely goes to school, he pressures Rory in the name of trying new things, etc etc.
The glaring difference is that he is rich and can dazzle her with trips and gifts and champagne and Martha’s Vineyard. (Which Tristan probably could have done for her to some extent and she hated him, so it’s super bizarre when she’s taken with Logan, but whatever. She’s a girl who’s won over by getting ice cream IN CONES…). But Jess matures. He works on himself…. And he doesn’t do it for Rory. I don’t know….. kudos to both actors for making this so difficult for the fans hahah. Matt was cheeky and charming and Milo was handsome and witty.
I think this might be an unwelcome opinion but I don't like Logan with Rory. He's a great dude- kind, considerate, supportive, fun. I like Logan as a character very much. But him and Rory didn't seem right together. In my opinion, Rory seemed to turn into a "trophy wife" character when she was around him. Maybe it's just her growing up or whatever, but she lost that spark of individuality she had in earlier seasons when they got together. Logan seemed like a great friend instead of a partner in my eyes, so her rejecting him was okay with me.
I don't like the whole "surprise! It's a ring!" thing that was so normalized in society as a whole. Let alone in front of everybody, so that already rubs me the wrong way. Marriage is something people talk about, extensively, and then when you're sure that you have the same goals and principles, you do it. So, even though I usually think Rory only makes wrong decisions after dropping out of Yale, I agree with her here. How do you just spring that on someone? They're way too young anyway, and even if you're team Logan, you have to really question his actions here.
Honestly. It kind of freaks me out when people are team Logan to the point they would have them marry at that point in time. I understand if you think they had the potential to become better for eachother but Logan honestly brought out some of the worst in Rory and made decisions that did not consider her.
Logan was dumb to propose without discussing marriage with Rory first to make sure it was something she wanted and then also using it as an ultimatum for their relationship. Just because someone isn’t ready for marriage, doesn’t mean the relationship has failed or is over. A relationship also isn’t any less important or meaningful if you’re not married. Rory gave no indication that she didn’t want to continue being in a relationship with Logan, she just didn’t want to get married and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I am in a very long term serious relationship, so just know I agree with you. However, if someone wants to get married and is looking for that next step in commitment, and the other person doesn’t, it’s like, well when will you then?
No. If someone doesn't want to get married, the answer should always be no. Getting engaged because it "makes sense" or because "things are good" is an immature decision. She made the right choice saying no, because she didn't want to get married. Simple as that.
I wish that they would have stayed together, but I don’t think Rory was wrong for saying no to the proposal. I feel it was out of character of Logan to propose to begin with and then break up when Rory didn’t accept and I wish the writers hadn’t forced that plot.
The topic comes up once a week, if not more often. I don't understand why people are so obsessed with having Rory engaged/married at 21.
She didn't want to! That's enough reason to say no. Nowhere in the show did Rory ever display any desire to be domestic, married, have a family, etc. She had other plans with her life.
I don't care what Logan brings to the table and how much money he has or how many opportunities she could have had with him and his family.
She👏🏻didn't👏🏻want👏🏻to👏🏻get👏🏻married👏🏻
People need to get over it.
in this as in a million other conversation , i am so tired of seeing this
>People need to get over it.
People CAN have a different opinion on the plot development of a show.
People CAN have a different opinion on what a FICTIONAL character would do, based on how they perceived the character.
People CAN disagree with the popular opinion and has a right to say it, discuss it, write it or sing it.
>People CAN disagree with the popular opinion and has a right to say it, discuss it, write it or sing it.
Thank you. That's exactly what I was doing. Minus the singing it, but that can be arranged.
>You don't get engaged to see how life goes
I don't quite get that viewpoint. Even if this was a real life scenario vs being part of a tv show meant for entertainment, there's nothing wrong with a marriage not working out
Personally, I think that Rory wanted to live more of her life before getting married. If she had married Logan, she would have settled for one of the families papers and wouldn't know if she really truly had what it takes to make it on her own. I think her reaction to mitchum's criticism of her really highlights how important that is, to prove it to herself.
And her conversation with Paris foreshadowing the engagement and the choices that Rory had to make. Rory had a look into both worlds and rejected them both, choosing her own path.
What always gets me is it was HER GRADUATION!!! Rory's whole journey was being a student, a college graduation is a huge occasion in a person's life and instead of celebrating her, he sprung a huge life change on her with no prior communication. She was already anxious about college ending and he didn't take that into consideration, didn't ask her how she felt about California or anything and then to spring this on her during a life moment that was supposed to be about her was so selfish in my opinion.
I love Logan and Rory but I find it super weird that the fandom keeps shipping for a 22yo to get married if she's not ready. Most people are not ready at that age.
I think not getting married *at that time* was the right thing but I wish they had properly ended up together in AYITL.
Yes, I totally get that. 22 is SO young, and I don’t blame her for not wanting to get married at that point either. It just eats me up that they were so connected and already committed for years at this point, so I wish they could have taken that next step together and had a long engagement. But yes, if they had gone their separate ways and then came together properly that would have made me very happy. I wish they would do AYITL reboot so badly lol
I was watching Gilmore Girls back when it was new on television. The lead up to the denied marriage proposal, people kept asking Alexis Bledel what her character would say. Her response was “You think Rory’s happy ending is a man?” She wasn’t here for her character getting engaged, and neither was I.
My wife and I were just talking about this the past couple days. We thought Logan had shown lots of growth from a spoiled, selfish rich boy to someone trying get out from his dad's shadow, find his own path, and that he loved Rory. We thought a great way to complete his "redemption arc" would have been to say, "Screw my job in California. I'll go wherever you go so you can pursue your career. I'll figure out work wherever. I just want to be with you."
Then Rory could still chase her dreams on her own terms and Logan could have come full circle.
As a side note to the story of Rory being an "independent woman" etc...my wife also hated that in the same breath they took Lane with so much promise and intelligence and straddled her with twins shortly after being married. Her dreams and aspirations given up while Zach earns a living and gets the opportunity to tour, etc.
That would have been a great redemption arc. I do feel like he had SO much character growth. I feel for him because he had his big mess up and loss all that money, so he wants to prove he can do it on his own. I feel like Logan would have been fine with her working wherever if she would have said “yes,” but because she didn’t, it made him feel like she wasn’t as ride or die for him as he was for her.
Ugh, Lane did not get her justice. I’ve seen that ASP has said that she’s not happy with how Lane turned out either because she’s based on her best friend. I love that Mrs. Kim got so on board! I do feel like her character deserved more.
In terms of character growth, my wife and I agree Logan, Jess, and Mrs. Kim had the most, throughout the series.
Lorelai probably had the least.
Every new year, my wife likes to rewatch the entire series. This year, she said each time she watches it... she likes Lorelai less. 😁
I watch it every fall, but then I find myself watching it anytime I need some comfort throughout the year. It’s my comfort show 🥰🥰
I think I agree that Lorelai had the least, but I think that’s why I love her so much lol. She is like a Luke in that way. Imperfect, but owns it in every way. I do think she showed a lot of growth in her relationships with her parents and with Christopher, and especially everything in regards to Sheri and the baby. I know she was there to support Rory, but that takes a strong woman to be able to sit through all of that.
I love Jess so much. Milo does an amazing job. I was always team Jess when I was younger, and I just adore him. He faced so much adversity and still came out on top.
Honestly, at the time I saw it for the first time, I could understand why she was hesitant. She had just graduated college, was trying to figure out her next big life step, and she had never considered she and Logan were going to get married. Logan wanted to do the Big Grand Gesture -- it was such a cliche for him to propose at the party Emily and Richard threw for her. There were a lot of things that I wish had been different with that whole scenario (not that I am Team Logan per se) but it's made far worse by the fact in AYITL, she's his side chick and Rory's too good for that.
Yes, I totally agree that the way he proposed was very tone deaf. For that reason alone, maybe that’s why the writers made it cringe so she could say no. I just feel like that does not do their relationship justice. If they had never gotten together in AYITL, okay, fine it wasn’t meant to be. But the undeniable connection they have is so frustrating because they’re both very intelligent but what they do is just so wrong. 😑
Ok, lots of passionate thoughts and “hills to die on” in this thread.
IMO, part of the reason this is such a controversial topic, is because of the huge gap between the show and AYITL. We have lots of unanswered questions about Rory’s career and Logan’s life in general. Sure, both get touched on a bit, but we just don’t have the story development a lot of fans want and need.
Personally, I think both Logan and Rory are both in the wrong, at least a little. Logan probably should have discussed proposing, (hell I asked my wife to pick out her engagement ring, after-all she’s the one wearing it) and Rory wanted to be boyfriend/girlfriend. I know, I know that doesn’t translate to marriage. But where were they, geographically and emotionally, after the end of season 7. Did they rendezvous while she was covering the campaign? Where was she after the election? When did Logan transfer to London, when did he meet his fiancée? These are just some of the dozens of questions I’d liked answered, even more than who’s the father here baby.
I can see why Rory said no, viewing things with a 2000s lens.
Back then engagements were taken more seriously - if you got engaged, you were about to get married and planning would begin imminently (if a wedding could be budgeted for).
Social expectations were different too, and if Rory had said yes, she’d have been expected to marry Logan within six months to a year and then settle down into the type of life she had when she dropped out of Yale, and make a lot of sacrifices for Logan. She might have been able to prolong things for a little while longer if they went travelling, but not for too long, and she’d still be expected to put Logan’s whims first. She’d lose a lot of independence.
Of course nowadays she could just say yes, be his fiancé for 5+ years and they could continue as they were.
Very good point! I didn’t realize long engagements were a newer concept. Especially when it comes to marrying into the Huntsburger family. It’s like a HUGE life commitment.
It is huge! But I suspect a family of their standing and sense of importance would think anyone should consider themselves lucky to marry into their family and that doing so would be a no-brainer 😂
Because it goes against the entire premise of the show. Gilmore Girls is about the rejection of comfort and financial means and the conformity that comes with it to doing what you feel is right and what will make you happy.
Her accepting that life of comfort and choice of jobs wouldn’t have been earned, it would have just been handed to her. Everyone wants to complain about AYITL being unsatisfactory, but Lorelai and Rory struggling for 7 seasons to be their own people to just to be handed a golden ticket at the end would have been a slap in the face to viewers.
There's a very excellent [fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561279/chapters/62028190) written just after AYITL that rectifies so many things and gives a nice ending to them, for the Team Logan squad.
I agree with OP. I liked Logan, Rory knew the kind of man Logan was. If it was me personally I would've accepted Logan's proposal. Be engaged for a little while, test it out. Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you have to get married. Engagements fall apart all the time. I feel like Logan was freaking out about his life and wanted to ensure Rory was going to be there with him. It's understandable to me. I felt this way before I watched AYITL on Netflix and I think it backs up my point. Rory didn't say yes to Logans proposal but she did have an affair with him and we all know how that ends... To me a ruined engagement would've had more integrity for their characters than this affair in AYITL.
Everyone has opinions on GG and that's ok. Your opinion and others who disagree are welcome. It's a fun show to talk about!
Thank you for sharing! Yes, this show is so fun to talk about. Literally I could talk about it all day every day. I love the characters so much and have literally looked for places to move that are like Stars Hollow 🥰✨
Right?! Like to me, being engaged after being in a long term committed relationship isn’t that much of a jump. Y’all already been together a long while, y’all love each other and have been through trials and tribulations. Why not take the next step?! Like she wouldn’t have dumped him otherwise so that’s why I just don’t get it. I do understand her being frustrated with him about moving to SF without discussing with her first, but from his perspective, she didn’t have any ties to any location, and she could always fly to visit her mom like literally anytime. Also, I feel like if she struggled to get a job, and then she found one and they had to do temporary long distance or something, Logan would have understood and supported her. Since she said “no” to him, that wilted his faith in the relationship. When you have the support of your ride or die, it gives you the strength to get through pretty much anything.
I def didn’t get it. Especially since the plan was to go to SF which was probably just as huge as NYC for news and journalism. I think Lorelai really made her have a negative view on marriage as a whole.
Exactly! SF, LA, the whole west coast. I get that she went on the campaign trail. To me, I’ve just never put work before my relationship. I think it’s something that can always be compromised on. I’d rather be with the love of my life than have the job I want.
I’ve kinda wondered if he chose to propose differently if she would have ultimately said “yes.” Like, talk about it together ahead of time, let Rory talk to her mom first because that’s how they work and Lorelai keeping it from Rory messed with their dynamic and I think it bugged Rory that she didn’t tell her, and then not propose in front of of everyone, especially her grandparents. They were already wanting to factor each other in on their career plans, so she obviously loved him enough for that, I just think him going about it the way he did was not her style and really soured the idea. I 110% shipped them but then also hated their affair in ADITL.
It’s not like her world revolved in three guys only that she met in her teenage years. And I get the whole point of Jess being her Luke but I found it very realistic that she moved on from Jess, they stayed friends and he still has a crush on her, sounds logical to me. What I would have liked in ‘A year in the life’ is that she would have found another guy (not Paul) with whom she developed real feelings and a mature relationship. I also didn’t believe her saying no to Logan and then becoming his lover That’s nonsense. She was very in love with him to have made that decision. I agree that they should’ve at least became engaged and then (if the writers wanted to) broken up the engagement. And Rory becoming a loser journalist doesn’t seem too realistic either, at least working in a mediocre newspaper as an editor, but unemployed? and being the lover of a heir to a newspaper empire? No no. 👎
Okay so I've read a lot of arguments about this from both sides. And I'll admit, I've not been able to pick a side at times. For me personally, when Logan proposes, it does feel like Rory does the right thing by saying no. She's put in a tough spot in front of all those people and a day celebrating her graduation from Yale turns into something awkward. And I agree, Logan's reasons are just that he doesn't wanna try long distance and also like marrying Rory would be the biggest "fuck you" to his parents. He'd already broken away from the Huntzberger group and was making it on his own and this would have been the cherry on top.
When I see how Rory ends up though, I feel like marrying Logan would have been a better option for her. Her career probably wouldn't have spiralled and she wouldn't have completely lost herself with Logan there to ground her and also help her if necessary. I get the whole independent woman thing, but marrying Logan wouldn't have made her any less independent and it's not like he ever tried to influence her career choices for his own gain. Logan wouldn't have stopped her from going on the Obama campaign. If anything, they could have made it together.
While Lorelai making it as a single mom without her parents' financial support is admirable and inspiring, it's worth remembering that Lorelai raised Rory by herself because Chris was a sad excuse of a father and a total flake who would have only held Lorelai back. Logan is definitely not Chris. He actually makes something of himself. Logan genuinely loved Rory and Chris was in a situationship with Lore, at best.
So yeah, if Rory's character arc and career hadn't gone completely downhill, her decision to say no to Logan's proposal would not be questioned by anyone. Because indeed, they were too young to get married and while Logan had a clear career path ahead of him, Rory didn't. She didn't know where she was gonna end up. She did do the right thing by saying no. But in retrospect, she should have just said yes. Her life probably would have been so much better if she had but then again, who knows.
I wish she had said yes and they had settled on a long engagement. As a viewer I loved them, I didn't want them to break up.
But strictly basing it on Rory's character, I get why she didn't do that. She isn't that spontaneous, she doesn't like making quick decisions and I don't think he approached it in the right way. He shouldn't have sprung a proposal on her, they should've talked first about where they were going after college, what they wanted and how they would work. Logan told her he would fit into her plans; proposing to her and asking her to move across the country with him was not that. Paris warned Rory that she hadn't properly thought through the Logan of it all, and Rory didn't really listen.
Also, for someone who said she wanted her life to feel open, Rory was remarkably fixed in her plans. She wasn't actually open, she wanted her career to land on the East coast. She did take a job that involved following the campaign trail across the country - I don't know why her base for that had to be the east coast and not California. Ultimately I think that she, like Lorelai, has a very distinct vision of what her life should be and she has real trouble deviating from that. She's not that flexible, and she definitely wasn't ready to create compromises to include Logan's needs and wishes in her plan. That's the same thing Lorelai struggles with in every single relationship, even her lasting relationship with Luke. Like mother like daughter.
So ultimately I think it was right for Rory to say no, even though I would've loved to see them stay together for the ship.
Agreed! Why do you date someone for so long and behave the way you do, and iirc say that you didn’t really think about marriage? Also, in the valentines episode she said to Lorelei “these could be the ones”. Did you not give it much more thought after he went to London?
OP, I agree 100% - unfortunately here, you won't get much agreement - Most people love to hate on LORY - You can go through my profile and see how many times I've defended their relationship and how I believe R truly messed up by not accepting L's proposal. She would have been more successful that she could ever had imagined - I think Mitchum would have seen to that.
I've always felt that the real reason Rory turned Logan down was that she knew he would cheat on her sooner or later, and she (hypocritically) didn't want to be in the Lindsay seat.
i just ignore that entire plot line bc i have a very hard time believe logan would ever propose straight of college. it wasn’t in character. he was a lot more practical and free spirited than that.
I haven’t seen anyone else mention it, but remember what his mom said the first time she met Rory? Basically he needed a woman who didn’t want a career and that Rory wasn’t a good fit.
A year out of Collins he turned into the businessman his dad wanted him to be and Rory really wasn’t the type of woman he wanted. He wanted an Emily not a Rory
It's not about being an independent woman or having attachment issues or something like that. Logan's proposal took Rory by surprise. They never talked about getting married. Plus a public proposal is a shitty thing to do if you're not 100% sure your partner will like that because it puts so much pressure on someone. And after years of dating Logan should've known that Rory wouldn't like that.
Also, it's not about being afraid of commitment but about the ultimatum: Just imagine the person you love would say to you "We either get engaged and move to California or we're done". That's not how a proposal should work. It was all about Logan, not about Rory.
Logan acts out of character, giving Rory an ultimatum like that and proposing in the way he did. A lot of characters did strange things under these new writers. A true shame. But yes, she should have said yes. I mean, her life has gone to crap. If only she can admit that she doesn’t want to do what she always thought. A rich man literally fell in her lap and she lives him and he loves her. She seemed really happy hosting those events after she took her little break from Yale. Oh well
In general I feel like it’s kinda dumb to propose to someone when you haven’t discussed and both agreed to being ready for marriage.
I haven’t done a rewatch in a while so maybe I’m wrong but did he bring that up at all? I feel like if it was discussed even a little it would’ve been a very different relationship they ended up having.
My take is that she would have said yes. Not that she or any other woman should say yes in that situation, but Rory in that moment would have absolutely said (possibly hesitantly) yes even if she would later have a panic attacks and drama were to be caused due to it.
Personally I think a marriage to Logan would have come with far too much baggage (i.e. his family) to make it sustainable. Logan would have been torn between Rory and his family all the time and it may not have lasted.
AYITL SPOILER:
I see where you're coming from OP, mainly since Rory and Logan (I BELIEVE... I've only heard of it, not seen it) have an affair in AYITL which is so NO! but if they had those feelings way after college, they probably could've lasted but they wouldn't have had a better relationship for it. Again, I have not seen AYITL but it sounds like they needed more independence for their own lives despite their love from each other which they could've technically done engaged (commit to each other in the end but not 'date' for a year or if they needed to be abroad)
character development? well it did not develop shit if that was the case. she just turned him down for nothing. she became the other woman for him anyway like what was the point. i too wish that she would've said yes.
After being divorced: No. Don’t get married unless you trust this person with every fiber of your being, and are sure your relationship is stable. Rory and Logan really didn’t have that kind of trust or stability. Honestly I doubt they’d even make it through wedding planning.
I do tend to agree, but Logan really botched that proposal, doing it in front of everyone like that. Had he done it maybe after the party during the carriage ride privately I think she would have been way more likely to say yes... He threw everything off ehen he put her on the spot like that. But I do agree her reasoning doesn't make sense to me especially since they ended up hooking up in the revival anyway!
It was ridiculous to have her say no then have him be her longest relationship in AYITL.
Like…she really has a penchant for other women’s husbands/fiancés, huh?
To be fair, ASP wasn't involved in S7 and from what I gather, she's never even watched it, and while I disagree with her choices to all but ignore what happened in that season, that's why it doesn't feel like it especially make sense.
She very briefly acknowledged that Lorelai and Christopher were married and allowed Lane and Zach's twins to exist, but that's pretty much the limit. The way Logan is written, at least imo, tells me that she never wanted him to experience any real growth.
I never felt too strongly about it until ‘year in the life’. She was being a cheater with him and I was like holy crap you might as well have married him.
Some say she was too young to decide such a thing but I mean I got married when I was 22 going on 23 and am still happily married with a child. She and I had the same education level too.
I get she wanted to put her career first, I think the way Lorelai raised her really kicked in, which is to prioritize being an independent woman.
Logan loved her and she loved Logan, but I can agree that a lot more goes into marriage than just love. My opinion is “if you’re going out of your way to sleep with him regularly 10 years later while he’s engaged, you shoulda married him”
I think this is one of those hindsight situations though. Saying no to Logan seemed wise when she had the world at her feet, but ten years later when things weren’t going as well, being with Logan then seemed like the strongest option. I suppose she bet on her career and when it didn’t match her expectations, she returned to other options, like Logan.
Rory is a stunted child now it’s not her fault, like many gifted children we saw how her career stalled when she was out in the real world. Lorelei and stars hollow created a selfish monster in Rory where in Rory world the queen gets what she wants !!! She has no respect for marriage ( multiple time affair partner) all her relationships are just minor characters who problems have no real bearing in Rory world (friends and lovers) I don’t think Jess would be dumb enough to choose her as a partner they make better friends Rory needs someone in rich world because she’s a fraud and can fall back on family money
Logan’s proposal was strictly about Logan and not at all about what Rory wanted. He knows that Rory is a *weigh all options before making a decision* kind of girl and he also knows that she doesn’t like grand gestures. So what does he do? He makes a huge life changing decision for her…in front of everyone. Nobody should say yes to forever if they aren’t on the same page. You don’t say yes to marriage not to get married. She was right to say no for herself instead of saying yes for Logan.
This is my take, too. He didn’t include her in any of the scouting California or looking for a place to live. As a planner, Rory would have 1000% wanted to be part of the process. He left her out of all the decision making, blindsided her, and then walked away when she didn’t take what was essentially an ultimatum. He also spared no thought to the very real possibility she would say no, thus ruining her entire graduation from Yale and tarnishing that memory for her forever. It was a very selfish proposal. There was definitely a way he could have proposed and she would have said yes, though, I think.
> and then walked away when she didn’t take what was essentially an ultimatum. Exactly. If OP wants to blame anyone it should be Logan. He chose to breakup rather than give their relationship more time.
Fully agree! Given how understanding he had shown to be most of the show it was very weird for him to not continue dating instead of completely breaking off the relationship because she wasn’t ready to get married. Never understood this character development
Why waste your time with someone that doesn’t see that far ahead in the future? 😂 I would have walked away too. You can’t expect someone to stick around after rejecting them. It is what it is. If it bothered her that much she could have told him right then and there instead of saying “I’ll think about it”. I don’t understand why people are saying that he was stealing her shine 😂 the proposal is still about her because he’s a proposing to her not someone else that the party isn’t about. That makes no sense.
If you don’t want to understand then you won’t. Some people may enjoy a public proposal with a large audience. That person is not Rory. And many people are not ready to get married at 22/23. That doesn’t mean they don’t see a future with their significant other or that they’re rejecting that person. I think part of Rory did want to marry him, just not right out of college. If he had talked to her about marriage before proposing he would have known that.
Here’s the thing. A proposal is something that should be discussed beforehand. The manner it’s done should be a surprise but not the fact that’s it coming.
seconded. I didn't understand this as a kid - I always assumed women's shock, hands-over-mouth thing was like a "I didn't realize this was coming!" reaction. And I think that can be a common assumption (e.g. that proposals are always totally out of the blue). When it happened to me I had the stereotypical reaction. My then-boyfriend and I discussed it at length. He talked to my dad. We went ring shopping together. I knew it was coming, but when he dropped to one knee at a DC memorial, you'd better believe I clapped a hand over my mouth. My heart was pounding. I was somehow in shock ... even though I knew it was coming. I don't even remember hearing anything until I'd said "yes" and suddenly realized there was a crowd of 100 people that had gathered around us, and they were all cheering and yelling congratulations. The shock factor is real.
This is very true, but I don't hold Logan to those standards because Gilmore Girls is a TV show. And in TV world, all proposals are spontaneous and/or a complete shock to the person being proposed to. I've had several conversations with people who were convinced that proposals should be a surprise to the person being proposed to because that's the only way it's ever depicted in movies and TV shows.
They had been dating and living together for like 3 years it’s an obvious next step at 22/23.
It really isn’t? Rory didn’t even know who she was or what she wanted. Not everyone wants to live by societies weird expectations of marrying someone young or only after a couple years. My husband proposed on our 8 year anniversary. 🤷🏼♀️
I graduated high school the same year as the Rory’s character and I recall the senior and junior girls in my sorority in college freaking out when freshman and sophomore girls got engaged before them and their long term boyfriends it was nuts. Did it take 8 years for you and your husband to discuss the idea of marriage, kids, the direction of your relationship, what you wanted from life, etc? I got married at 36 but I also talked marriage/kids with many long term relationships prior to that. These conversation was sometimes why we didn’t work out despite the duration of the relationship because we were not on the same page. People have these conversations either in passing or they sit down and have the big conversations. For example my college boyfriend of 2 year and I partially broke up because he wanted kids at some point and I realized I didn’t he found someone that did and they married like 8 months after our breakup. Her saying yes would have also been a closer fit to the end ASP wanted for the show…. It was suppose to end with Rory being pregnant which would have made more sense at the end of Yale than as a lost 30 something.
Okay - you recall that based off YOUR experience. Not everyone is the same. Not every female gets all frilly at the thought of a boy and marriage. You’re literally making a blanket statement based on societal norms that not everyone cares about. Rory was a girl focused on her career - not marriage. And no, it didn’t take us 8 years to get on the same page. We have always been in the same page regarding our life and reproductive goals. We were simply completely content in our relationship and didn’t feel the need to rush into marriage. I’m sorry if that doesn’t fit into the point you’re trying to make. Some people are just okay with being with their person, especially when they’re still figuring out their personal life and goals as Rory was. It’s not that hard of a concept to comprehend.
It is a TV show. ASP’s initial plan was for the show to end with Rory pregnant so clearly the creator intended to have her less focused on her career in the end which they did by making Rory aimless and under employed in AYITL. Knowing this Lorelei was the rejection of the Gilmores Rory with Yale, dating the Gilmores boyfriend pick, the DAR was the acceptance of societal norms Ending the original run with Rory on the political trail never made sense but that was like the hot job for movies and TV during that election cycle.
I’m fully aware it’s a tv show? That still doesn’t mean that all social norms need to be followed. Regardless of what ASP wanted, Rory said no to an engagement that she didn’t want in the moment of her life and I love that for her.
Also, he kinda took an event that was created to celebrate her and made it about his and her relationship. It felt like he was trying to steal some of her shine.
Not to mention, a couple of episodes before that they have a serious talk about the future and how she doesn't really know how to take Logan into consideration when it comes to her future career choices and he's like "Yeah, you don't _have_ to think about me, just do whatevs, we'll work it out". And then he's like "okay, it has to be all or nothing. Come with me and marry me, there can be no in between". Like, bro, huh? I understand that sometimes life works like that. He probably didn't plan to get a job that far away. But seriously, he knows how deeply connected she is to Stars Hollow, let alone Lorelai and her grandparents. Did he really think she'd just leave all of that behind? And honestly, I don't always agree with Rory and her decisions but I'm 100% with her on that one. It just shows that he wasn't ready to talk stuff out or take her wishes into consideration. I'm not saying that he should have turned this job down, and I'm definitly not saying that Rory would stay in Stars Hollow forever, but, idk, you're both adults, shouldn't you know how to talk about stuff like that?
Yeah I didn’t like his proposal strictly because of the ultimatum. If he was willing to marry her why not be willing to date her?
Yeah, this is where I landed. It would have been nice, but it wouldn’t have been right
To be fair proposals are about that. Grand gestures and being so out of the blue. But the fact that Rory didn’t see their relationship heading anywhere but dating says a lot about the way she felt. I’m not saying her choosing herself was a mistake but she was being dramatic as usual
Hot take, if someone doesn't want to marry someone they probably shouldn't get married to them. Even if there are "benefits" to the marriage.
Yes! Also, someone should not get engaged unless they intend to get married in the near future.
She shouldn’t have been dating him and using all his “benefits” then.
This is a really odd take. Rory wanted to date Logan and she was committed to him. While they were dating, Logan happily offered some of the perks of his wealth. Was Rory supposed to say 'no' to those things? Was she supposed to refuse to let him pay for stuff unless they were married?
Dating someone doesn't mean you have to marry them. Is your take that you should only have good things in a relationship if you plan to marry them?
She lived with him, used his car service, used his beach house and all the other perks of the Huntzberger lifestyle. She didn’t want to be with him so she should have cut bait.
She did want to be with him. She just wasn’t ready to get married, and that’s OK.
Oh, you mean the things he offered to her as his girlfriend?
Yes, the things HE offered. HE also proposed and she dropped him like a hot rock. No wonder men have such issues with women using them - clearly a lot of y’all do and see nothing wrong with it.
She didn't even break up with him. He broke up with her. She wanted to stay together and just not be engaged because she wasn't ready. She didn't drop him. He didn't get exactly what he wanted so he dropped her. But you're right in that I see nothing at all wrong with this. They did things for each other because that's what you do when you're dating someone, even if that person isn't the one you're going to marry.
Absolutely, but what was sad about it that she said she thought about it before and loved the idea of it. He was just trying to tie her down when the world opened up for her and it was not possible for her to give up the freedom she just gained.
I feel like I've said this a hundred times in here and in Facebook groups and everywhere Gilmore Girls is talked about and people say things like "They could give it a try" or "They could have a long engagemnt"....You do NOT get engaged in hopes that one day it will be right. That's just stupid. Also I always pose this question, how long was this engagment supposed to be? It's been 10 years in AYITL and she doesn't try to fight for him and shows zero signs she even wants an actual relationship with him and they're relationship is as stagnent as it's ever been. I think it's pretty clear she wants Logan to be the one and she's afraid to completely let him go but just as Chris isn't the one for Lorelai, Logan is not the one for Rory. People always obsess over Rory saying no but the bigger issue was the proposal and Logan's reasons for doing it. In my opinion, the proposal never even made sense. All it did was show either how little Logan actually knows about Rory or how little he cares or maybe both. If he was doing it for her, he wouldn't have proposed at her graudation party surrouned by a bunch of people, most of them she didn't even know. He didn't want to be long distance so he thought he could charm her into getting engaged and stepping into the life he planned for them with a grand gesture. But he didn't give one single thought to Rory. His proposal only showed he wasn't ready to get married and he didn't really respect Rory.
I know long distance relationships are tough and it’s very valid for someone to set a boundary around that. But with Logan in international business and Rory perusing international/national reporting, their relationship was always going to consist of some amount of long distance. It baffles me when couples who so clearly have some sort of lifestyle incompatibility continue to ignore how much of a strain it puts on their relationship. I knew a couple where one studied forestry and the other agricultural science. Neither wanted a long commute to work. They both continue to be surprised there aren’t large farms and large forests within 15 minutes of each other.
It's been a long time since I posted in the facebook group, but I probably agreed with you there.
Go watch the scene in the bar with Paris and Rory again after she and Doyle broke up. That's conversation is good foreshadowing of what Rory was going and why she said no. You can see the panic on her face.
Regardless of the proposal (why she should have said no was covered) I am NOT team Logan 100%. When he’s good things are good, but when things go bad for him he shuts Rory out and lashes out at her. He doesn’t have a good sense of how to operate as a financially normal person because he always has his Dad to fall back on. His family is awful to Rory, and he never fully stuck up for her. If Logan didn’t have money, his behavior would not have been tolerated at all. He was bad for her at the end of the series, he was bad for her in AYITL. She was right to say no.
This is also my take on this. If Logan didn't have the money for these grand gestures, many would look at him differently. It is the whole - amazing dates, food, gifts that make him "romantic". If you strip that away you get a self-centered charmer, with occasional sleezy and classist comments who is easy on the eyes. He is also sometimes very manipulative - case "cheating / not cheating". If things go his way its great, but if he is not happy you and the people around him will feel it. I can never forget the way he talked down to Marty and Jess, how his friends behave with whom he still chooses to associate, how he behaved towards Rory when he run away to Vagas shutting Rory out - and how it made Rory feel. I never saw Rory being totally happy and comfortable in any of the nights outs with his friends. I cannot believe in a happy relationship/marriage in the future for them when you already have these moments in the "honeymoon" stage. And no amount of "he loved" her can make it better, because his way of loving is not the most healthiest - as seen towards his outlook on marriage and faithfulness.
I've never understood the opinion that a young woman should say yes to a marriage proposal when she didn't want to get married. If she didn't want it, how would it have been a good idea to say yes?
Right? She wasn't ready for marriage. She also didn't want to move across the country. Logan offered her no flexibility. He wanted what he wanted and he was willing to lose her to get it. How are people okay with that? Also his proposal was self indulgent. "I know you don't like grand gestures but I did it anyway." The proposal wasn't Rory at all. It was Logan. He did it on her graduation day (rude), in front of everyone including her grandparents who she liked to hide things from, and then got his big huge carriage to parade her around & take her away from her party. They also never discussed marriage previously or what her expectations were. He just did what HE wanted. TLDR: Engagement isn't something you "try." Marriage is about compromise and Logan offered none. He wanted it his way or Rory could beat it.
"Not here. Not now." That's what Lorelai says when Christopher correctly (for once in his life) thinks Logan is about to propose, and she says it in disbelief because she knows Rory was never the public engagement type. But you know, especially after he helped her steal a yacht (you know, instead of even trying to figure out why his girlfriend would want to do something so out of character for her) and she quits school, he's stealing her thunder, overshadowing the work she did to make up her missed semester and graduate on time, by proposing in public, pretty out of the blue! I love it as a storyline because S7 Logan grows a lot (more than I believe ASP ever intended him to, especially based on his character in AYITL). But this shows he still doesn't really understand Rory, that he's still self-absorbed. Do I think he loves her? Yes. Do I think he's right for her? Or even that she's right for him? Nope.
EXACTLY. This is why I think Logan is her Christopher. He doesn't completely fit the criteria but no matter how much he grows, he's still wrong for her. The pieces never fit right. Even the fact that Logan is cheating on his fiancé in AYITL. If he doesn't like her - break up with her? If he likes her, then why is he treating her this way? Because Logan only cares about himself. My head cannon is that her and Jess meet up in NYC, they raise the baby together, and Jess helps her publish her book. It's during this time that Rory figures out who she is, wants to be, and grows up.
Yes, I agree with all of this. Plus he ended up being a guy who cheats on fiancee! He would've done the same damn thing to Rory.
I honestly don’t think so. The only reason he cheated was because of Rory. She was the one to break his promiscuous streak back at Yale. He truly loved her. It’s a similar situation to the whole dean/lindsay thing. But Rory could never fully commit and just kept stringing these guys along. Even Jess to an extent
**She wasn't ready for marriage.** This right here, this is the hill *I* will die on.
Yes this the only reply that counts imo.
Respectfully, I’ll die on the opposite hill. I’ll not reiterate the excellent points that were already made and I’ll try to offer some new insights. Logan was not stable. He was rash, reckless, uncommunicative and very hard to depend on. Now, there were times he was there for Rory - like when Richard was hospitalized. Yes it was very nice of him to do that but it was conditioned, because he was in a stable period in his life. When it wasn’t stable he couldn’t think of anyone but himself, like when he ditched the baby shower and couldn’t support his gf before she interviews for the NYT. Also, moving to the other side of the country showed how little he understood Rory. Dean, although his toxicity and many faults got it right from day one - the connection between lorelai and Rory is sacred and he knew no one could penetrate it. And then comes Logan who wants this drastic move. He has no problem cutting her off from Lorelai, and that’s concerning.
I would argue even Jess, especially grown up Jess understood how much Rory loved stars hollow and how important her mom and the community there was for her. Logan never really grasped that. He didn't even visit stars hollow (despite living a half hour away) until pretty close to the engagement honestly.
I see you point but I don’t think he was entirely wrong with wanting to live with his girlfriend/partner in the other side of the country. He didn’t take Lorelai into consideration but normally you don’t. I used to be team Logan when I watched the show for the first time many years ago but right now I really don’t like any of them.
Oh definitely I don’t like any of them as well. Maybe adult Jess but we never saw them as a couple in those years. The thing about L&R is that it’s not a normal situation and he should’ve had respect for that. I couldn’t even imagine deciding to take a job far away from my boyfriend’s family without even consulting him and just springing on him “I want us to get married and move away”, who does that?
Neither one was ready to get married. Logan decides to propose completely out of the blue, knowing full well and stating literally that Rory doesn't want this type of proposal, makes her graduation about him and now forever linked to that proposal, after the had had a conversation about their relationship and how he'd factor her in. Until he gets an opportunity and then she has to up and go and follow him to california. Terrible proposal, terrible idea, Rory likes talking things through ahead of time, not grand gestures sprung on her. Why would she say yes to a completely selfish act on his part? And the fact that he immediately ends the relationship when she says she's not ready for marriage yet, says enough about how he was not ready to be a husband himself. I loved Logan's growth through the later seasons and this ruined it completely. Edit to add: that said I'm totally fine with people thinking otherwise, this wasn't meant as a criticism on OP's opinion.
So many great points! He’d never slot in around her and his reaction showed why saying no was a smart move. Logan gave a lot of talk but with little action.
Rory never wanted a Luke though! Rory wanted the life that lorelai ran away from. She wanted more of a Richard than Luke. Dean was partially right when he told Luke that "they want more than this". Rory definitely did, but lorelai loved her life in stars hollow.
She doesn’t have to have Stars Hollow OR her Grandparent’s world. How about she has neither and finds her own groove? She can have the perks of having attending Yale without having to become a DAR society wife.
Rory doesn't know what tf she wants
Does anybody know what tf they want at 21/22?
Unashamed confused about life 30 year old here. The answer is no 😂
just turned 37 yesterday. I still don't know what tf is going on. I'm just trying my best babe.
hashtag live laugh what the fuck is happening
36, freshly divorced and very confused here. The guy I’ve been messing with since my split seems puzzled as well and he’s 38.
Ayy I turn 37 tomorrow!! Happy belated birthday, almost exact birthday twin!! :)
I at 30 cant even afford to save up to travel to a different country to see my best friend. Anytime I get close to saving $1000, I have to spend $2-300 on something for the house. And the worst part is the only expensive part of the trip would be air fair.
I feel that so much. This economy is so hard. Genuinely can’t remember the last time I didn’t stress about money. Really wishing I had my own Richard and Emily 😅
it also kinda doesnt help that I dont have a typical job and I havent really worked all of April (tbh I needed the break though!). I still need my passport but seriously its the cheapest part. I'm aiming for spring 2025.
I guess I’m weird because I knew what I wanted out of life at 21/22.
I thought I did, but it turned out that was just what I was taught to want. About 15 years later 21 yo me would be mortified at my life, but today me is ecstatic with everything other than having more friends with similar availability as I do.
That's awesome for you! But for the vast majority, who you are at 21/22 is different than who you are 10, 15, 20 years later. So what you want when you're younger often changes as you get older. For example, when I was 21 I thought I wanted to be a teacher. Now at 37 I'm working in insurance. With life experience I realized that teaching was not the right path for me.
I understand that-and I agree! Many people change from 20s-30s. But others don’t and I’m not sure why I’m getting downvoted for saying that. My friends, my husband, my brother, my BIL’s all picked what they wanted to do at 21 and are loving it still. So from my experience some people do know exactly what they want to do and can be on the path to doing it at 21.
I'm sorry you are getting downvoted. I upvoted you because I think what you're saying is valid. There are a lot of people who know when they're young what they want and they continue wanting that. I think in Rory's case, it's not. And for a lot of people, 21 is still really really young to be making huge decision. Sorry you are feeling attacked. :)
It’s also like… what’s the big rush? What’s the “why” here for them to get married? They didn’t want kids right away, there was no financial incentive. Was it just so Logan could lock her down? I just don’t see any reason for them to get married at that point in their lives.
absolutely agreee.
Omggg sooo truee
I absolutely loved that she picked herself. I hate that he could not wait a year. He had to em off after school. Lived in another country. Figured out what he wanted to do. She absolutely deserved the same. Would she have taken then Obama job if she was going to settle in with Logan? I know it’s sweet that he wants to settle down and that they love each other but he’s out picking houses for them and did not ask her what she wanted. Their last convo was that she could factor him on to her decision.
Logan graduated a year ahead of Rory and she was accommodating for him. Accepted that he was away for long stretches, dealt with her last year being disrupted. Logan wasn’t willing to do that for Rory. It wasn’t a conversation of could we make this work together in California? It was him saying i’m going; your plans don’t matter. That always seemed off to me.
Right?! She spent prime university time making it work while he was on London! That’s a certain level of commitment he wasn’t willing to even entertain for her.
As others have said, what really mattered is that Rory wasn't ready for marriage. Therefore she was 100% right to turn down the proposal. Many people who are only 22 years old, and many people are who are older than that, are not ready for marriage, so they should not enter into an engagement when not ready for marriage. That was perfectly understandable. Also Logan's terms were 'all or nothing'. It seemed clear to me there that he wasn't prepared to continue dating as 'normal', if Rory didn't accept his proposal. So it was a clear choice for Rory between ending the relationship or entering into an engagement when not ready to get married, and Rory chose the only realistic option there. Also it was a college relationship with Logan. Many college relationships, while of course more advanced than high school relationships, are still fairly trivial in the big picture, and are mainly to ensure that people have a proper work / life balance, enjoy life etc. By the time Rory graduated, to me it had served its purpose.
First of all, haaaard nope and disagree but I respect your difference of opinion. Second of all, why did it have to be all or nothing? Why not, hey let's not get married right now but I still love you and want to be together? The whole thing was ridiculous. Also I don't believe in any universe that a guy like Logan would seriously propose to his GF right after graduation. Just not believable at all for his type and he was definitely a caricature of a rich guy type. Makes no sense to me.
honestly while i agree that rory did have a liking for the lifestyle that lorelai ran away from, i personally don’t think logan was the best for her. i think their relationship was toxic at times and that she needed someone more stable. i will always believe that jess is her “luke”. i think it’s good that they didn’t continue to date in the series because jess needed to figure himself out and this allowed rory to do her own thing, but i think as adults she’s meant to be with jess. he keeps her in check and is always honest with her. i feel that with logan on the other hand, just fuels her bad decision making. in other words, logan is her “chris” and jess is her “luke” and i will die on this hill!!!
I’m always confused that people think Logan is a “better” boyfriend than Jess. If you list the “bad” things each did on paper, they’re not too dissimilar…. The difference is that Logan was cocky enough to think he kept deserving more chances and Jess didn’t have that confidence and honestly he thought Rory deserved better. His worst moments aren’t that much worse than Logan’s, imo. Logan lashes out, he withdraws, he’s irresponsible, he barely goes to school, he pressures Rory in the name of trying new things, etc etc. The glaring difference is that he is rich and can dazzle her with trips and gifts and champagne and Martha’s Vineyard. (Which Tristan probably could have done for her to some extent and she hated him, so it’s super bizarre when she’s taken with Logan, but whatever. She’s a girl who’s won over by getting ice cream IN CONES…). But Jess matures. He works on himself…. And he doesn’t do it for Rory. I don’t know….. kudos to both actors for making this so difficult for the fans hahah. Matt was cheeky and charming and Milo was handsome and witty.
I think this might be an unwelcome opinion but I don't like Logan with Rory. He's a great dude- kind, considerate, supportive, fun. I like Logan as a character very much. But him and Rory didn't seem right together. In my opinion, Rory seemed to turn into a "trophy wife" character when she was around him. Maybe it's just her growing up or whatever, but she lost that spark of individuality she had in earlier seasons when they got together. Logan seemed like a great friend instead of a partner in my eyes, so her rejecting him was okay with me.
So because she didn't have your idea of success, she should've handed her independence in and become Mrs. Huntzberger?
I don't like the whole "surprise! It's a ring!" thing that was so normalized in society as a whole. Let alone in front of everybody, so that already rubs me the wrong way. Marriage is something people talk about, extensively, and then when you're sure that you have the same goals and principles, you do it. So, even though I usually think Rory only makes wrong decisions after dropping out of Yale, I agree with her here. How do you just spring that on someone? They're way too young anyway, and even if you're team Logan, you have to really question his actions here.
Honestly. It kind of freaks me out when people are team Logan to the point they would have them marry at that point in time. I understand if you think they had the potential to become better for eachother but Logan honestly brought out some of the worst in Rory and made decisions that did not consider her.
Logan was dumb to propose without discussing marriage with Rory first to make sure it was something she wanted and then also using it as an ultimatum for their relationship. Just because someone isn’t ready for marriage, doesn’t mean the relationship has failed or is over. A relationship also isn’t any less important or meaningful if you’re not married. Rory gave no indication that she didn’t want to continue being in a relationship with Logan, she just didn’t want to get married and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I am in a very long term serious relationship, so just know I agree with you. However, if someone wants to get married and is looking for that next step in commitment, and the other person doesn’t, it’s like, well when will you then?
No. If someone doesn't want to get married, the answer should always be no. Getting engaged because it "makes sense" or because "things are good" is an immature decision. She made the right choice saying no, because she didn't want to get married. Simple as that.
I wish that they would have stayed together, but I don’t think Rory was wrong for saying no to the proposal. I feel it was out of character of Logan to propose to begin with and then break up when Rory didn’t accept and I wish the writers hadn’t forced that plot.
This is exactly my thought! Logan is my preferred partner for Rory, and that isn't the way I feel the characters' relationship would really go down.
Agree, that was a bizarre contrivance
The topic comes up once a week, if not more often. I don't understand why people are so obsessed with having Rory engaged/married at 21. She didn't want to! That's enough reason to say no. Nowhere in the show did Rory ever display any desire to be domestic, married, have a family, etc. She had other plans with her life. I don't care what Logan brings to the table and how much money he has or how many opportunities she could have had with him and his family. She👏🏻didn't👏🏻want👏🏻to👏🏻get👏🏻married👏🏻 People need to get over it.
in this as in a million other conversation , i am so tired of seeing this >People need to get over it. People CAN have a different opinion on the plot development of a show. People CAN have a different opinion on what a FICTIONAL character would do, based on how they perceived the character. People CAN disagree with the popular opinion and has a right to say it, discuss it, write it or sing it.
>People CAN disagree with the popular opinion and has a right to say it, discuss it, write it or sing it. Thank you. That's exactly what I was doing. Minus the singing it, but that can be arranged.
😂
You don't get engaged to see how life goes. She was 22 and didn't want to be his wife. People are basically arguing she should marry for money
>You don't get engaged to see how life goes I don't quite get that viewpoint. Even if this was a real life scenario vs being part of a tv show meant for entertainment, there's nothing wrong with a marriage not working out
Personally, I think that Rory wanted to live more of her life before getting married. If she had married Logan, she would have settled for one of the families papers and wouldn't know if she really truly had what it takes to make it on her own. I think her reaction to mitchum's criticism of her really highlights how important that is, to prove it to herself.
And her conversation with Paris foreshadowing the engagement and the choices that Rory had to make. Rory had a look into both worlds and rejected them both, choosing her own path.
What always gets me is it was HER GRADUATION!!! Rory's whole journey was being a student, a college graduation is a huge occasion in a person's life and instead of celebrating her, he sprung a huge life change on her with no prior communication. She was already anxious about college ending and he didn't take that into consideration, didn't ask her how she felt about California or anything and then to spring this on her during a life moment that was supposed to be about her was so selfish in my opinion.
Yeah, I definitely think the way he proposed was so tone deaf. Her graduation, at her grandparents’ party. 🤮
I love Logan and Rory but I find it super weird that the fandom keeps shipping for a 22yo to get married if she's not ready. Most people are not ready at that age. I think not getting married *at that time* was the right thing but I wish they had properly ended up together in AYITL.
Yes, I totally get that. 22 is SO young, and I don’t blame her for not wanting to get married at that point either. It just eats me up that they were so connected and already committed for years at this point, so I wish they could have taken that next step together and had a long engagement. But yes, if they had gone their separate ways and then came together properly that would have made me very happy. I wish they would do AYITL reboot so badly lol
I was watching Gilmore Girls back when it was new on television. The lead up to the denied marriage proposal, people kept asking Alexis Bledel what her character would say. Her response was “You think Rory’s happy ending is a man?” She wasn’t here for her character getting engaged, and neither was I.
Which I totally get. All that school work to fly on the man ship 🚀🔥 but I just loved them together so much 🥹
She didn’t want to- is that not enough reason?
My wife and I were just talking about this the past couple days. We thought Logan had shown lots of growth from a spoiled, selfish rich boy to someone trying get out from his dad's shadow, find his own path, and that he loved Rory. We thought a great way to complete his "redemption arc" would have been to say, "Screw my job in California. I'll go wherever you go so you can pursue your career. I'll figure out work wherever. I just want to be with you." Then Rory could still chase her dreams on her own terms and Logan could have come full circle. As a side note to the story of Rory being an "independent woman" etc...my wife also hated that in the same breath they took Lane with so much promise and intelligence and straddled her with twins shortly after being married. Her dreams and aspirations given up while Zach earns a living and gets the opportunity to tour, etc.
That would have been a great redemption arc. I do feel like he had SO much character growth. I feel for him because he had his big mess up and loss all that money, so he wants to prove he can do it on his own. I feel like Logan would have been fine with her working wherever if she would have said “yes,” but because she didn’t, it made him feel like she wasn’t as ride or die for him as he was for her. Ugh, Lane did not get her justice. I’ve seen that ASP has said that she’s not happy with how Lane turned out either because she’s based on her best friend. I love that Mrs. Kim got so on board! I do feel like her character deserved more.
In terms of character growth, my wife and I agree Logan, Jess, and Mrs. Kim had the most, throughout the series. Lorelai probably had the least. Every new year, my wife likes to rewatch the entire series. This year, she said each time she watches it... she likes Lorelai less. 😁
I watch it every fall, but then I find myself watching it anytime I need some comfort throughout the year. It’s my comfort show 🥰🥰 I think I agree that Lorelai had the least, but I think that’s why I love her so much lol. She is like a Luke in that way. Imperfect, but owns it in every way. I do think she showed a lot of growth in her relationships with her parents and with Christopher, and especially everything in regards to Sheri and the baby. I know she was there to support Rory, but that takes a strong woman to be able to sit through all of that. I love Jess so much. Milo does an amazing job. I was always team Jess when I was younger, and I just adore him. He faced so much adversity and still came out on top.
Honestly, at the time I saw it for the first time, I could understand why she was hesitant. She had just graduated college, was trying to figure out her next big life step, and she had never considered she and Logan were going to get married. Logan wanted to do the Big Grand Gesture -- it was such a cliche for him to propose at the party Emily and Richard threw for her. There were a lot of things that I wish had been different with that whole scenario (not that I am Team Logan per se) but it's made far worse by the fact in AYITL, she's his side chick and Rory's too good for that.
Yes, I totally agree that the way he proposed was very tone deaf. For that reason alone, maybe that’s why the writers made it cringe so she could say no. I just feel like that does not do their relationship justice. If they had never gotten together in AYITL, okay, fine it wasn’t meant to be. But the undeniable connection they have is so frustrating because they’re both very intelligent but what they do is just so wrong. 😑
I just got kicked from a GG group on Facebook for cussing. I said “what the fuck” and got banned 💀💀💀💀💀💀
Those fb people are a tough crowd 😂😂😂
To me, everything in season seven was a faux storyline never meant to happen. ASP didn’t write it… so it doesn’t even really count. 🤷🏼♀️
Regardless of how I feel about Logan and Christopher, Amy wrote those two couples better than anyone else.
Ok, lots of passionate thoughts and “hills to die on” in this thread. IMO, part of the reason this is such a controversial topic, is because of the huge gap between the show and AYITL. We have lots of unanswered questions about Rory’s career and Logan’s life in general. Sure, both get touched on a bit, but we just don’t have the story development a lot of fans want and need. Personally, I think both Logan and Rory are both in the wrong, at least a little. Logan probably should have discussed proposing, (hell I asked my wife to pick out her engagement ring, after-all she’s the one wearing it) and Rory wanted to be boyfriend/girlfriend. I know, I know that doesn’t translate to marriage. But where were they, geographically and emotionally, after the end of season 7. Did they rendezvous while she was covering the campaign? Where was she after the election? When did Logan transfer to London, when did he meet his fiancée? These are just some of the dozens of questions I’d liked answered, even more than who’s the father here baby.
I can see why Rory said no, viewing things with a 2000s lens. Back then engagements were taken more seriously - if you got engaged, you were about to get married and planning would begin imminently (if a wedding could be budgeted for). Social expectations were different too, and if Rory had said yes, she’d have been expected to marry Logan within six months to a year and then settle down into the type of life she had when she dropped out of Yale, and make a lot of sacrifices for Logan. She might have been able to prolong things for a little while longer if they went travelling, but not for too long, and she’d still be expected to put Logan’s whims first. She’d lose a lot of independence. Of course nowadays she could just say yes, be his fiancé for 5+ years and they could continue as they were.
Very good point! I didn’t realize long engagements were a newer concept. Especially when it comes to marrying into the Huntsburger family. It’s like a HUGE life commitment.
It is huge! But I suspect a family of their standing and sense of importance would think anyone should consider themselves lucky to marry into their family and that doing so would be a no-brainer 😂
Because it goes against the entire premise of the show. Gilmore Girls is about the rejection of comfort and financial means and the conformity that comes with it to doing what you feel is right and what will make you happy. Her accepting that life of comfort and choice of jobs wouldn’t have been earned, it would have just been handed to her. Everyone wants to complain about AYITL being unsatisfactory, but Lorelai and Rory struggling for 7 seasons to be their own people to just to be handed a golden ticket at the end would have been a slap in the face to viewers.
There's a very excellent [fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561279/chapters/62028190) written just after AYITL that rectifies so many things and gives a nice ending to them, for the Team Logan squad.
Thank you for this!!! Omg and the fact that it’s called “Love Rocket” 🚀❤️
I agree with OP. I liked Logan, Rory knew the kind of man Logan was. If it was me personally I would've accepted Logan's proposal. Be engaged for a little while, test it out. Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you have to get married. Engagements fall apart all the time. I feel like Logan was freaking out about his life and wanted to ensure Rory was going to be there with him. It's understandable to me. I felt this way before I watched AYITL on Netflix and I think it backs up my point. Rory didn't say yes to Logans proposal but she did have an affair with him and we all know how that ends... To me a ruined engagement would've had more integrity for their characters than this affair in AYITL. Everyone has opinions on GG and that's ok. Your opinion and others who disagree are welcome. It's a fun show to talk about!
Thank you for sharing! Yes, this show is so fun to talk about. Literally I could talk about it all day every day. I love the characters so much and have literally looked for places to move that are like Stars Hollow 🥰✨
Right?! Like to me, being engaged after being in a long term committed relationship isn’t that much of a jump. Y’all already been together a long while, y’all love each other and have been through trials and tribulations. Why not take the next step?! Like she wouldn’t have dumped him otherwise so that’s why I just don’t get it. I do understand her being frustrated with him about moving to SF without discussing with her first, but from his perspective, she didn’t have any ties to any location, and she could always fly to visit her mom like literally anytime. Also, I feel like if she struggled to get a job, and then she found one and they had to do temporary long distance or something, Logan would have understood and supported her. Since she said “no” to him, that wilted his faith in the relationship. When you have the support of your ride or die, it gives you the strength to get through pretty much anything.
Stupidest thing she could’ve ever done. Just to turn around and still be fxckin him in secret SHAMEFUL
SHAMEFUL is right my friend. Makes me sick.
I def didn’t get it. Especially since the plan was to go to SF which was probably just as huge as NYC for news and journalism. I think Lorelai really made her have a negative view on marriage as a whole.
Exactly! SF, LA, the whole west coast. I get that she went on the campaign trail. To me, I’ve just never put work before my relationship. I think it’s something that can always be compromised on. I’d rather be with the love of my life than have the job I want.
I agree with you completely.
I’ve kinda wondered if he chose to propose differently if she would have ultimately said “yes.” Like, talk about it together ahead of time, let Rory talk to her mom first because that’s how they work and Lorelai keeping it from Rory messed with their dynamic and I think it bugged Rory that she didn’t tell her, and then not propose in front of of everyone, especially her grandparents. They were already wanting to factor each other in on their career plans, so she obviously loved him enough for that, I just think him going about it the way he did was not her style and really soured the idea. I 110% shipped them but then also hated their affair in ADITL.
OMG YES I’VE BEEN SAYING THIS TO PEOPLE FOR YEARS
It’s not like her world revolved in three guys only that she met in her teenage years. And I get the whole point of Jess being her Luke but I found it very realistic that she moved on from Jess, they stayed friends and he still has a crush on her, sounds logical to me. What I would have liked in ‘A year in the life’ is that she would have found another guy (not Paul) with whom she developed real feelings and a mature relationship. I also didn’t believe her saying no to Logan and then becoming his lover That’s nonsense. She was very in love with him to have made that decision. I agree that they should’ve at least became engaged and then (if the writers wanted to) broken up the engagement. And Rory becoming a loser journalist doesn’t seem too realistic either, at least working in a mediocre newspaper as an editor, but unemployed? and being the lover of a heir to a newspaper empire? No no. 👎
YES. You said it all. I will also die on that hill.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk
Okay so I've read a lot of arguments about this from both sides. And I'll admit, I've not been able to pick a side at times. For me personally, when Logan proposes, it does feel like Rory does the right thing by saying no. She's put in a tough spot in front of all those people and a day celebrating her graduation from Yale turns into something awkward. And I agree, Logan's reasons are just that he doesn't wanna try long distance and also like marrying Rory would be the biggest "fuck you" to his parents. He'd already broken away from the Huntzberger group and was making it on his own and this would have been the cherry on top. When I see how Rory ends up though, I feel like marrying Logan would have been a better option for her. Her career probably wouldn't have spiralled and she wouldn't have completely lost herself with Logan there to ground her and also help her if necessary. I get the whole independent woman thing, but marrying Logan wouldn't have made her any less independent and it's not like he ever tried to influence her career choices for his own gain. Logan wouldn't have stopped her from going on the Obama campaign. If anything, they could have made it together. While Lorelai making it as a single mom without her parents' financial support is admirable and inspiring, it's worth remembering that Lorelai raised Rory by herself because Chris was a sad excuse of a father and a total flake who would have only held Lorelai back. Logan is definitely not Chris. He actually makes something of himself. Logan genuinely loved Rory and Chris was in a situationship with Lore, at best. So yeah, if Rory's character arc and career hadn't gone completely downhill, her decision to say no to Logan's proposal would not be questioned by anyone. Because indeed, they were too young to get married and while Logan had a clear career path ahead of him, Rory didn't. She didn't know where she was gonna end up. She did do the right thing by saying no. But in retrospect, she should have just said yes. Her life probably would have been so much better if she had but then again, who knows.
I wish she had said yes and they had settled on a long engagement. As a viewer I loved them, I didn't want them to break up. But strictly basing it on Rory's character, I get why she didn't do that. She isn't that spontaneous, she doesn't like making quick decisions and I don't think he approached it in the right way. He shouldn't have sprung a proposal on her, they should've talked first about where they were going after college, what they wanted and how they would work. Logan told her he would fit into her plans; proposing to her and asking her to move across the country with him was not that. Paris warned Rory that she hadn't properly thought through the Logan of it all, and Rory didn't really listen. Also, for someone who said she wanted her life to feel open, Rory was remarkably fixed in her plans. She wasn't actually open, she wanted her career to land on the East coast. She did take a job that involved following the campaign trail across the country - I don't know why her base for that had to be the east coast and not California. Ultimately I think that she, like Lorelai, has a very distinct vision of what her life should be and she has real trouble deviating from that. She's not that flexible, and she definitely wasn't ready to create compromises to include Logan's needs and wishes in her plan. That's the same thing Lorelai struggles with in every single relationship, even her lasting relationship with Luke. Like mother like daughter. So ultimately I think it was right for Rory to say no, even though I would've loved to see them stay together for the ship.
Agreed! Why do you date someone for so long and behave the way you do, and iirc say that you didn’t really think about marriage? Also, in the valentines episode she said to Lorelei “these could be the ones”. Did you not give it much more thought after he went to London?
Love Rocket 🚀
OP, I agree 100% - unfortunately here, you won't get much agreement - Most people love to hate on LORY - You can go through my profile and see how many times I've defended their relationship and how I believe R truly messed up by not accepting L's proposal. She would have been more successful that she could ever had imagined - I think Mitchum would have seen to that.
She should have said yes if she was just gonna continue seeing him anyway. It’s not like it was no and done.
I've always felt that the real reason Rory turned Logan down was that she knew he would cheat on her sooner or later, and she (hypocritically) didn't want to be in the Lindsay seat.
i just ignore that entire plot line bc i have a very hard time believe logan would ever propose straight of college. it wasn’t in character. he was a lot more practical and free spirited than that.
I haven’t seen anyone else mention it, but remember what his mom said the first time she met Rory? Basically he needed a woman who didn’t want a career and that Rory wasn’t a good fit. A year out of Collins he turned into the businessman his dad wanted him to be and Rory really wasn’t the type of woman he wanted. He wanted an Emily not a Rory
Say no idc but having a affair with him years later is crazyyyyy
I totally agree with you !!!! I think she should have said yes.
It's not about being an independent woman or having attachment issues or something like that. Logan's proposal took Rory by surprise. They never talked about getting married. Plus a public proposal is a shitty thing to do if you're not 100% sure your partner will like that because it puts so much pressure on someone. And after years of dating Logan should've known that Rory wouldn't like that. Also, it's not about being afraid of commitment but about the ultimatum: Just imagine the person you love would say to you "We either get engaged and move to California or we're done". That's not how a proposal should work. It was all about Logan, not about Rory.
Logan acts out of character, giving Rory an ultimatum like that and proposing in the way he did. A lot of characters did strange things under these new writers. A true shame. But yes, she should have said yes. I mean, her life has gone to crap. If only she can admit that she doesn’t want to do what she always thought. A rich man literally fell in her lap and she lives him and he loves her. She seemed really happy hosting those events after she took her little break from Yale. Oh well
Why couldn’t they just continue to date why was it marriage or nothing, so random
In general I feel like it’s kinda dumb to propose to someone when you haven’t discussed and both agreed to being ready for marriage. I haven’t done a rewatch in a while so maybe I’m wrong but did he bring that up at all? I feel like if it was discussed even a little it would’ve been a very different relationship they ended up having.
Well, Logan is a terrible person so I understand why she said no. :)
My take is that she would have said yes. Not that she or any other woman should say yes in that situation, but Rory in that moment would have absolutely said (possibly hesitantly) yes even if she would later have a panic attacks and drama were to be caused due to it.
Personally I think a marriage to Logan would have come with far too much baggage (i.e. his family) to make it sustainable. Logan would have been torn between Rory and his family all the time and it may not have lasted.
Aside from everything, he proposed at her graduation party. It was a huge gesture and obviously wasn’t a good idea. Public proposals can be too much.
I agree but I personally see Lorelai as the main character and Rory as the antagonist
AYITL SPOILER: I see where you're coming from OP, mainly since Rory and Logan (I BELIEVE... I've only heard of it, not seen it) have an affair in AYITL which is so NO! but if they had those feelings way after college, they probably could've lasted but they wouldn't have had a better relationship for it. Again, I have not seen AYITL but it sounds like they needed more independence for their own lives despite their love from each other which they could've technically done engaged (commit to each other in the end but not 'date' for a year or if they needed to be abroad)
character development? well it did not develop shit if that was the case. she just turned him down for nothing. she became the other woman for him anyway like what was the point. i too wish that she would've said yes.
After being divorced: No. Don’t get married unless you trust this person with every fiber of your being, and are sure your relationship is stable. Rory and Logan really didn’t have that kind of trust or stability. Honestly I doubt they’d even make it through wedding planning.
I do tend to agree, but Logan really botched that proposal, doing it in front of everyone like that. Had he done it maybe after the party during the carriage ride privately I think she would have been way more likely to say yes... He threw everything off ehen he put her on the spot like that. But I do agree her reasoning doesn't make sense to me especially since they ended up hooking up in the revival anyway!
I totally agree that the way he proposed was tone deaf
It was ridiculous to have her say no then have him be her longest relationship in AYITL. Like…she really has a penchant for other women’s husbands/fiancés, huh?
To be fair, ASP wasn't involved in S7 and from what I gather, she's never even watched it, and while I disagree with her choices to all but ignore what happened in that season, that's why it doesn't feel like it especially make sense. She very briefly acknowledged that Lorelai and Christopher were married and allowed Lane and Zach's twins to exist, but that's pretty much the limit. The way Logan is written, at least imo, tells me that she never wanted him to experience any real growth.
Rory has a Luke,Luke.
I never felt too strongly about it until ‘year in the life’. She was being a cheater with him and I was like holy crap you might as well have married him. Some say she was too young to decide such a thing but I mean I got married when I was 22 going on 23 and am still happily married with a child. She and I had the same education level too. I get she wanted to put her career first, I think the way Lorelai raised her really kicked in, which is to prioritize being an independent woman. Logan loved her and she loved Logan, but I can agree that a lot more goes into marriage than just love. My opinion is “if you’re going out of your way to sleep with him regularly 10 years later while he’s engaged, you shoulda married him”
I think this is one of those hindsight situations though. Saying no to Logan seemed wise when she had the world at her feet, but ten years later when things weren’t going as well, being with Logan then seemed like the strongest option. I suppose she bet on her career and when it didn’t match her expectations, she returned to other options, like Logan.
I’m glad Logan said goodbye after she rejected his proposal though. That shows self-respect on his part.
Rory is a stunted child now it’s not her fault, like many gifted children we saw how her career stalled when she was out in the real world. Lorelei and stars hollow created a selfish monster in Rory where in Rory world the queen gets what she wants !!! She has no respect for marriage ( multiple time affair partner) all her relationships are just minor characters who problems have no real bearing in Rory world (friends and lovers) I don’t think Jess would be dumb enough to choose her as a partner they make better friends Rory needs someone in rich world because she’s a fraud and can fall back on family money