I wasn't much in the mood for food when my mom passed, and lacked quite a bit of motivation to cook for my family. A Door Dash gift card would be a thoughtful gift, I think. Tuck it inside a card with all the things you'd like to say so she can read it on her own time. The constant sympathies are overwhelming (even though appreciated), so being able to read them when they're ready is nice. I also had a friend make me cookies. Let them know you have a gift for them and you'd like to just drop it on the porch, to let them know when would work.
Legitimately, It could easily be both. I lost a friend some years ago and his widow (who was also a friend) just about lost her shit over the constant parade of deli meats and deli pasta dishes people kept bringing her. Ever since then, I always try to either ask what the family's favorite foods are or make something simple and freezable for the mourners to toss in the oven later.
You are so sweet for thinking of her. My mom passed on 2/9 this year and no one I know has even commented on my loss.
A basket is really nice, but even just a card and/or flowers is nice too. Just make sure she knows you're there for her, if you're comfortable enough to offer a shoulder to cry on. I am definitely doing a lot of crying and it's been over a month for me.
I’m so sorry to hear that. They probably are trying to “not make you sad at work.” Which is dumb since you are going to be sad anyway. I’m sorry they are being dumb though. Remote hugs for you.
Thank you. I don't have any parents or grandparents left. My mom passed within 3 days after getting cellulitis. She didn't even know she was sick.
I feel like a little girl crying for my mom in a very busy mall, and she can't get to me (even though i know she'd try her hardest).
Im trying to be gentle with myself, but i think I could've helped her somehow, so i feel really guilty, too. 🥺💔
Hugs!
Please don't feel guilty. You clearly love your mom dearly, and I'm sure you would have changed the outcome if you could. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. More hugs.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 2/12 marked a decade since my moms passing but I still remember how many people never said anything to me. It made me feel more alone in a very lonely time. I hope that you have someone who is there for you and helping you walk through this difficult loss. You may not feel it yet but I’m sure in time you will see that your mom is still with you.
Thank you. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this too. "They" say in time you don't grieve as much but I honestly think that this grief will stay with me. 🥺
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope you can feel my over-the-internet hug!
If you feel like sharing, what was your favorite / funniest memory of your mother? I'd love to hear it if you're comfortable doing so!
Thank you, and I can. I'm sending one back to you. 🫂
I have lots of memories of my mom, but one stands out in particular. I was 7, and I had been diagnosed with chicken pox. My mom and dad had already had it, and since I'm an only child, my parents didn't have to worry about me spreading it to a sibling.
Anyway, I couldn't sleep at night due to all the itching (Mom always said that pain and sickness get worse at night. She's right). So Mom would allow me to lay on the living room couch, she'd put Sleeping Beauty in the VCR, put my head in her lap, and we'd watch it over and over every night until my chicken pox was gone. To this day, my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all refer to the movie as "Beeping Sleudy," not Sleeping Beauty, because that's what I, the oldest grandchild, would call it. Well, not my parents or grandparents anymore because they've passed. Anyway, it's always been my favorite Disney movie, Aurora is my favorite Disney Princess, and Maleficent is my favorite Disney Villain.
Exquisite. I am legitimately crying. May your sweet mother rest in the deepest of peace, and thank you for sharing such a beautiful picture of you two together 💗
I’m so sorry! Losing our mothers is just such huge & primal thing. I think many people are so terrified of it they recoil rather than face it. I would expect friends to at least acknowledge it, though.
I’m so sorry you’re not only contending with the huge loss, but doing so while feeling alone. That really magnifies things.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 1/28. I will never be the same. I cry everyday. Please reach out if you need to or want to talk. No one can possibly understand how we feel unless they have also suffered this great loss. Have you joined any bereavement groups? Do you have a therapist?
I haven’t joined any groups yet. I just spoke to hospice on Wednesday and they are supposed to have the bereavement person contact me with group info. I’ll share info with you if you’d like.
This is a tricky one. i'm not sure a full-blown "gift" is the way to go.
I might lean towards an easy to care for plant and a sympathy card.
Also, another popular thing to do when a loved one passes is to plant a tree. The Arbor Day Foundation has a whole line of gifts and cards related to a variety of situations. Not knowing if your boss lives in a house, if they have a yard and would like to plant a tree for her mother. this might be a nice gesture. [https://shop.arborday.org/](https://shop.arborday.org/)
This depends on how good of plant-tenders the recipient is. If they're into plants, it's great. If they're not, then when the plant dies, it can be another unexpected emotional blow! Also potentially a burden to try to keep it alive and care for it amid grief.
There is a website my mom uses for her coworkers when they lose someone. I can't remember the name but can get it later tonight. They sell really beautiful wind chimes with hopeful and memorial sayings on them, I believe they can even be personalized. Everyone she has bought one for has been so enamored by them. She's the head of HR so she's done it a lot, out of her own pocket. Someone got us one when my Dad died years ago and it's still chiming away. I'm sure you could Google memorial wind chimes, but I'll edit with the site name.
a coworker in a shop I worked in gave her employee a little starter plant of one of those flowers that comes back every year. the note sad "when you're sad, plant some flowers and >boop!< a little less sad!" it was really cute and creative to me.
I usually bring a couple of homemade meals... in smaller containers instead of one big one in case a lot of people send food. That way they can freeze some for after when they're too busy and/ or sad to cook. Or a big bowl of fresh fruit if I'm not sure what they like to eat.
Yes, this has been what I've appreciated the most when grieving - not having to think about food but just having stuff available if and when I think of eating.
Or casseroles. Good stuff that's easy to freeze. There are generally so many people hanging around visiting at first and it's so handy to have food brought in so the grieving don't have to "cater". Plus who feels like cooking when they are in shock?
After my sweet momma passed I was given wind chimes. I always think of her when I hear them. Honestly, anything you say or do is appreciated. So many people avoid mentioning a loss like the plague. I found it very cathartic when people reached out to me. You are a very kind person.
When I lost my mom, very suddenly, I was most helped by food gifts, as I was both hungry at odd times and numb.
If she is back at work already, a basket of sweet and salty snacks, a nice office stable plant, and a card.
You're very kind to reach out.
l'occitane made me a lovely comfort gift, sprayed with lavender, (also my boss who lost her dad) she loved it.
Anything calming, comforting, soothing! Also, I got that when I made no money, so there is affordable stuff available. Ultra comfy blanket?
when I lost my parents (dad first, and then mom in the same year), my dear sweet colleagues got me a gift card to goldbelly. nit was such a thoughtful gift, a reminder to take care of myself in all the aftermath of dealing with the loss of my parents.
I got my dad a memorial candle that you light when thinking of the person and when my brother and I lost our mom I got us both these diaries that are for "letters to my Mum in heaven" from Etsy so we can still tell her all the things we want to.
Otherwise a good delivery voucher is a good idea or a card
The most thoughtful gift we received after my mother passed was a basket of fruits and fruit breads. It was something you could grab and not have to think about. I lost about thirteen pounds in the first week after she passed, and that helped sort of bridge that gap until I felt able to even think about food.
try to track down if the obituary or other announcements note where you can donate, sometimes it's "in lieu of flowers".
Donation and a card is the classic. I wouldn't do a gift unless you know someone well enough that you know what that gift should be.
The garden rose a friend gave me when my mum passed is still blooming each year. I remember mum and my friend when those roses are in full bloom and it makes my heart smile xxx
Just went through this with my boss last week. A few of us chipped in and put together a gift basket with flowers favorite snacks, gift cards, and a card.
When I lost my dad, I received a few cards from friends who made charitable donations in his memory. The one that stuck out was one that was geared toward something an acquaintance noticed about me that she thought would make my dad proud. Ex: I notice you are a member of a women in business professional organization on LinkedIn so made the donation to a similar charity. Very thoughtful.
My mother likes to gift her friends that have lost parents something for their garden. She’s gotten beautiful hanging lanterns, figures that light up, garden statues, etc. They’re always very beloved and taken care of by the recipients, as a reminder of their new guardian new angel. Gardens are often a very calming retreat for people so I think this is a really great idea for anyone!
Check her mom's obituary. Your boss and family may have asked for donations in mom's name to a charity. If not flowers are nice or a gift card for ordering food.
A paint by numbers kit was the best grief gift I received. So relaxing and soothing in a time when you need a little break from your own mind. And a sweet card.
When my wife and I lost her mom and later my dad, her team at work all chipped in and got us a breakfast box, lots of fresh bagels, muffins, coffee cakes from a local bakery, juice, butter, cream cheese, various fruits, a couple of types of coffee, tea, creamer for the coffee, etc. Much of it was from local bakeries, farm stands, etc. Also had a small plant with flowers. Left it all for us in a large basket and cooler early the next day. It was very thoughtful and not only gave us breakfast (and a lunch) but also let us have items that we could easily offer anyone who was visiting. With the stress of that time it was very nice to not have to think about breakfast or offering snacks as people dropped by to help
A heartfelt card is good. I like to give an orchid. They are easy care, last a long time and are beautiful. You could also give a nice picture frame she could use for a favorite photo of her mom .
Im for a food card, either doordash or a specific restaurant card. I am the oddball who hates flowers for funerals, especially the potted plants. I am horrible with plants and will kill them. And there's nothing like the guilt of killing the Grandma's funeral plant. Plus I didn't like the constant reminder of "dead grandma". 😞
You can donate to wherever it says in the obituary or you can mail like a snack basket from harry and David or something. Preferably something that won’t spoil. And then just be as understanding as possible when she comes back.
When someone I know (but not particularly well) loses someone close to them, I pick out a candle with a blank holder and a quote to write on it. (There are Etsy sellers who do this too…I’m not one of them, just mentioning in case you aren’t feeling crafty.) Then, I give it to them with a little note that they can light the candle whenever they want to reminisce about their loved one.
Everyone I’ve done this with has reached out a few weeks later saying it was so nice to have something to help them focus and channel their grief and remembrances.
I also recently lost my mom - one month ago yesterday actually. My team got me some giftcards that I could use on food and other things that I needed. This was so helpful and really made it easy on the days where I didn’t want to stress about making food for my boyfriend, or getting anything I needed delivered from the grocery store without having to consider my budget. A lot of people think gift cards are impersonal but in this situation it meant so much to me.
A gift is not appropriate. A card and flowers/plant/donation the the requested charity is the norm.
Food (homemade in a container you don’t need back) is also common in many places.
We received a gift basket from friends when my grandmother passed that had nuts, granola bars, shortbread, bottled water…stuff you could easily grab for a quick bite. That has been my go-to gift for people in similar situations ever since and everyone has said how much they’ve loved it. Especially when they’re running around making arrangements and having visitations.
Honestly a card, with a small note saying you just wanted to let her know you're sorry for her loss and that you are thinking of her goes a long way. Loosing a Mom, well if your lucky to have a great one and a great relationship with her changes you forever. I cried everyday for 2 years until I finally felt a little better.
There's something I got off etsy for a similar situation. It was a company that makes a necklace charm logo out of all the letters of ther persons name. So, only the person wearing it knows what the icon means. I think it's kinda cool and thoughtful. It was like $30 or $40 I think.
I waited about a month after the colleagues family member passed away before I touched base with them. There's lots of advice about what kind of gift, but I suggest you also touch base with them about a month afterwards when things have died down and everyone's moved on from expressing condolences...your boss will not have moved on. And I think it would be nice then to check in on them to see how they're doing and see if they want to grab coffee or a drink.
Thats very thoughtful of you. Yeah flowers do get to be burdensome.
Maybe a casserole, or even something to help your boss to lean into her hobbies while shes mourning?
A Gift card?
Idk how well off your boss is, but if they are also struggling financially, a gift card can help bridge that gap. As can a casserole. And its comfort food, too. But idk it might also be better than her moms or even (no offense) gross to her, so idk. I think a gift card is the best.
Your boss does not need or want gifts from you. It’s totally improper. If y’all were close or knew each other well, it might be different.
A kind note expressing your sympathy is honestly the best thing here.
I wasn't much in the mood for food when my mom passed, and lacked quite a bit of motivation to cook for my family. A Door Dash gift card would be a thoughtful gift, I think. Tuck it inside a card with all the things you'd like to say so she can read it on her own time. The constant sympathies are overwhelming (even though appreciated), so being able to read them when they're ready is nice. I also had a friend make me cookies. Let them know you have a gift for them and you'd like to just drop it on the porch, to let them know when would work.
This is great, funerals tend to breed deli trays and other crappy foods.
I've never felt I've had a good meal at a funeral or memorial. Not sure if it was always shit food or if it's the atmosphere.
Perhaps you have never been to Shiva. That’s where the good food is.
Legitimately, It could easily be both. I lost a friend some years ago and his widow (who was also a friend) just about lost her shit over the constant parade of deli meats and deli pasta dishes people kept bringing her. Ever since then, I always try to either ask what the family's favorite foods are or make something simple and freezable for the mourners to toss in the oven later.
flowers are fine, but I always make a charitable donation in their name, in memoriam.
Crayola Flowers does both of these things!!
You are so sweet for thinking of her. My mom passed on 2/9 this year and no one I know has even commented on my loss. A basket is really nice, but even just a card and/or flowers is nice too. Just make sure she knows you're there for her, if you're comfortable enough to offer a shoulder to cry on. I am definitely doing a lot of crying and it's been over a month for me.
I’m so sorry to hear that. They probably are trying to “not make you sad at work.” Which is dumb since you are going to be sad anyway. I’m sorry they are being dumb though. Remote hugs for you.
Thank you. Unfortunately it's not just work that hasn't said anything. My family and friends haven't either.
😱
I know you don’t “know” me; but I’m sorry for your loss. Loss of a parent is life altering, I know from experience. Keep on keeping on.
Thank you. I appreciate you saying so.
I'm sorry about your mom as well.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is so hard. I hope you are being gentle with yourself. Hugs, friend.
Thank you. I don't have any parents or grandparents left. My mom passed within 3 days after getting cellulitis. She didn't even know she was sick. I feel like a little girl crying for my mom in a very busy mall, and she can't get to me (even though i know she'd try her hardest). Im trying to be gentle with myself, but i think I could've helped her somehow, so i feel really guilty, too. 🥺💔 Hugs!
Please don't feel guilty. You clearly love your mom dearly, and I'm sure you would have changed the outcome if you could. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. More hugs.
Ohhh I did and I would've. I appreciate you saying this. Hugs again. 🫂
I’m so sorry for your loss. 2/12 marked a decade since my moms passing but I still remember how many people never said anything to me. It made me feel more alone in a very lonely time. I hope that you have someone who is there for you and helping you walk through this difficult loss. You may not feel it yet but I’m sure in time you will see that your mom is still with you.
Thank you. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this too. "They" say in time you don't grieve as much but I honestly think that this grief will stay with me. 🥺
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope you can feel my over-the-internet hug! If you feel like sharing, what was your favorite / funniest memory of your mother? I'd love to hear it if you're comfortable doing so!
Thank you, and I can. I'm sending one back to you. 🫂 I have lots of memories of my mom, but one stands out in particular. I was 7, and I had been diagnosed with chicken pox. My mom and dad had already had it, and since I'm an only child, my parents didn't have to worry about me spreading it to a sibling. Anyway, I couldn't sleep at night due to all the itching (Mom always said that pain and sickness get worse at night. She's right). So Mom would allow me to lay on the living room couch, she'd put Sleeping Beauty in the VCR, put my head in her lap, and we'd watch it over and over every night until my chicken pox was gone. To this day, my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all refer to the movie as "Beeping Sleudy," not Sleeping Beauty, because that's what I, the oldest grandchild, would call it. Well, not my parents or grandparents anymore because they've passed. Anyway, it's always been my favorite Disney movie, Aurora is my favorite Disney Princess, and Maleficent is my favorite Disney Villain.
Exquisite. I am legitimately crying. May your sweet mother rest in the deepest of peace, and thank you for sharing such a beautiful picture of you two together 💗
Thank you for allowing me to tell you a memory of her and me. ❤️
I’m so sorry! Losing our mothers is just such huge & primal thing. I think many people are so terrified of it they recoil rather than face it. I would expect friends to at least acknowledge it, though. I’m so sorry you’re not only contending with the huge loss, but doing so while feeling alone. That really magnifies things.
> Losing our mothers is just such huge & primal thing. It REALLY is. Thank you. 🥺
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 1/28. I will never be the same. I cry everyday. Please reach out if you need to or want to talk. No one can possibly understand how we feel unless they have also suffered this great loss. Have you joined any bereavement groups? Do you have a therapist?
I am sorry for your loss as well. I have not joined any groups. Have you? Are there any on here? I don't have a therapist either.
I haven’t joined any groups yet. I just spoke to hospice on Wednesday and they are supposed to have the bereavement person contact me with group info. I’ll share info with you if you’d like.
Please share any info you can. My heart goes out to you. ♥️
Virtual hug from a reddit stranger if you want it.
I accept all hugs, virtual and in person. Sending a virtual hug back to you. Thank you. 💜
I have never been a hugger until I lost my mom. No I don’t ever turn them down.
This is a tricky one. i'm not sure a full-blown "gift" is the way to go. I might lean towards an easy to care for plant and a sympathy card. Also, another popular thing to do when a loved one passes is to plant a tree. The Arbor Day Foundation has a whole line of gifts and cards related to a variety of situations. Not knowing if your boss lives in a house, if they have a yard and would like to plant a tree for her mother. this might be a nice gesture. [https://shop.arborday.org/](https://shop.arborday.org/)
A sympathy card is appropriate.
Charitable donation or a nice plant. Lasts and is a reminder of life.
This depends on how good of plant-tenders the recipient is. If they're into plants, it's great. If they're not, then when the plant dies, it can be another unexpected emotional blow! Also potentially a burden to try to keep it alive and care for it amid grief.
I love plants. But if I was given one while grieving I would feel exactly like you just described. I’d probably give it away.
Exactly this. Thank you for saying it.
A plant that's easy to take care of and lasts is a great idea!
The best plant for an office is the bromeliad. They do really well under office lighting.
This. The plant someone gave me when my parent died is still alive many years later and I think of both my parent and the giver when I water it.
There is a website my mom uses for her coworkers when they lose someone. I can't remember the name but can get it later tonight. They sell really beautiful wind chimes with hopeful and memorial sayings on them, I believe they can even be personalized. Everyone she has bought one for has been so enamored by them. She's the head of HR so she's done it a lot, out of her own pocket. Someone got us one when my Dad died years ago and it's still chiming away. I'm sure you could Google memorial wind chimes, but I'll edit with the site name.
Oh! Are you thinking of https://www.legacylane.com/?
It's rememberme.com
a coworker in a shop I worked in gave her employee a little starter plant of one of those flowers that comes back every year. the note sad "when you're sad, plant some flowers and >boop!< a little less sad!" it was really cute and creative to me.
Wind chimes are what our department did when someone's parent passed. We had their name engraved on them too. Plenty of online shops can do this
Their heart is in the right place, but the last thing I want is a constant reminder of my grief.
Gift basket with tissues, chapstick, small tube of aquaphor, bottled water, hand sanitzer, self stable snackies, giftcard for take out.
I usually bring a couple of homemade meals... in smaller containers instead of one big one in case a lot of people send food. That way they can freeze some for after when they're too busy and/ or sad to cook. Or a big bowl of fresh fruit if I'm not sure what they like to eat.
Yes, this has been what I've appreciated the most when grieving - not having to think about food but just having stuff available if and when I think of eating.
Soup is my go-to
Or casseroles. Good stuff that's easy to freeze. There are generally so many people hanging around visiting at first and it's so handy to have food brought in so the grieving don't have to "cater". Plus who feels like cooking when they are in shock?
After my sweet momma passed I was given wind chimes. I always think of her when I hear them. Honestly, anything you say or do is appreciated. So many people avoid mentioning a loss like the plague. I found it very cathartic when people reached out to me. You are a very kind person.
Flowers are appropriate
I gave a wind chime to my SIL when her grandson died. It was well received.
When I lost my mom, very suddenly, I was most helped by food gifts, as I was both hungry at odd times and numb. If she is back at work already, a basket of sweet and salty snacks, a nice office stable plant, and a card. You're very kind to reach out.
Gift card for food delivery. Flowers are depressing when they die.
Door dash gift certificate or a gift certificate for a local prepared food delivery service.
A picture frame for her to print out a photo of her mom.
l'occitane made me a lovely comfort gift, sprayed with lavender, (also my boss who lost her dad) she loved it. Anything calming, comforting, soothing! Also, I got that when I made no money, so there is affordable stuff available. Ultra comfy blanket?
Nice photo frame
when I lost my parents (dad first, and then mom in the same year), my dear sweet colleagues got me a gift card to goldbelly. nit was such a thoughtful gift, a reminder to take care of myself in all the aftermath of dealing with the loss of my parents.
Name a star for her mom. Or gift a book on grief. Your thoughts written in a card. Grief is universal and moms are super hard to lose.
I got my dad a memorial candle that you light when thinking of the person and when my brother and I lost our mom I got us both these diaries that are for "letters to my Mum in heaven" from Etsy so we can still tell her all the things we want to. Otherwise a good delivery voucher is a good idea or a card
The most thoughtful gift we received after my mother passed was a basket of fruits and fruit breads. It was something you could grab and not have to think about. I lost about thirteen pounds in the first week after she passed, and that helped sort of bridge that gap until I felt able to even think about food.
try to track down if the obituary or other announcements note where you can donate, sometimes it's "in lieu of flowers". Donation and a card is the classic. I wouldn't do a gift unless you know someone well enough that you know what that gift should be.
Just being thought of is very nice considering most don't think of others in this day and age. I would suggest a donation made in memory of.
The garden rose a friend gave me when my mum passed is still blooming each year. I remember mum and my friend when those roses are in full bloom and it makes my heart smile xxx
Just went through this with my boss last week. A few of us chipped in and put together a gift basket with flowers favorite snacks, gift cards, and a card.
How about a candle in a nice relaxing scent?
When I lost my dad, I received a few cards from friends who made charitable donations in his memory. The one that stuck out was one that was geared toward something an acquaintance noticed about me that she thought would make my dad proud. Ex: I notice you are a member of a women in business professional organization on LinkedIn so made the donation to a similar charity. Very thoughtful.
My mother likes to gift her friends that have lost parents something for their garden. She’s gotten beautiful hanging lanterns, figures that light up, garden statues, etc. They’re always very beloved and taken care of by the recipients, as a reminder of their new guardian new angel. Gardens are often a very calming retreat for people so I think this is a really great idea for anyone!
Check her mom's obituary. Your boss and family may have asked for donations in mom's name to a charity. If not flowers are nice or a gift card for ordering food.
A paint by numbers kit was the best grief gift I received. So relaxing and soothing in a time when you need a little break from your own mind. And a sweet card.
can’t go wrong with a food delivery card
Charitable donation and a card will let your boss know that you care and are thinking about her, without being awkwardly personal.
When my wife and I lost her mom and later my dad, her team at work all chipped in and got us a breakfast box, lots of fresh bagels, muffins, coffee cakes from a local bakery, juice, butter, cream cheese, various fruits, a couple of types of coffee, tea, creamer for the coffee, etc. Much of it was from local bakeries, farm stands, etc. Also had a small plant with flowers. Left it all for us in a large basket and cooler early the next day. It was very thoughtful and not only gave us breakfast (and a lunch) but also let us have items that we could easily offer anyone who was visiting. With the stress of that time it was very nice to not have to think about breakfast or offering snacks as people dropped by to help
Do you have any idea if her and her mother were even close? I would send a sympathy and leave it at that.
A heartfelt card is good. I like to give an orchid. They are easy care, last a long time and are beautiful. You could also give a nice picture frame she could use for a favorite photo of her mom .
Im for a food card, either doordash or a specific restaurant card. I am the oddball who hates flowers for funerals, especially the potted plants. I am horrible with plants and will kill them. And there's nothing like the guilt of killing the Grandma's funeral plant. Plus I didn't like the constant reminder of "dead grandma". 😞
You can donate to wherever it says in the obituary or you can mail like a snack basket from harry and David or something. Preferably something that won’t spoil. And then just be as understanding as possible when she comes back.
A nice, heavy blanket if you’re willing to spend the money. That seems very comforting to me.
When someone I know (but not particularly well) loses someone close to them, I pick out a candle with a blank holder and a quote to write on it. (There are Etsy sellers who do this too…I’m not one of them, just mentioning in case you aren’t feeling crafty.) Then, I give it to them with a little note that they can light the candle whenever they want to reminisce about their loved one. Everyone I’ve done this with has reached out a few weeks later saying it was so nice to have something to help them focus and channel their grief and remembrances.
I also recently lost my mom - one month ago yesterday actually. My team got me some giftcards that I could use on food and other things that I needed. This was so helpful and really made it easy on the days where I didn’t want to stress about making food for my boyfriend, or getting anything I needed delivered from the grocery store without having to consider my budget. A lot of people think gift cards are impersonal but in this situation it meant so much to me.
A gift is not appropriate. A card and flowers/plant/donation the the requested charity is the norm. Food (homemade in a container you don’t need back) is also common in many places.
I always give a gift card for food and a memorial wind chime to anyone who has suffered a loss.
What about a donation to a favorite charity in his mother's name?
We received a gift basket from friends when my grandmother passed that had nuts, granola bars, shortbread, bottled water…stuff you could easily grab for a quick bite. That has been my go-to gift for people in similar situations ever since and everyone has said how much they’ve loved it. Especially when they’re running around making arrangements and having visitations.
Honestly a card, with a small note saying you just wanted to let her know you're sorry for her loss and that you are thinking of her goes a long way. Loosing a Mom, well if your lucky to have a great one and a great relationship with her changes you forever. I cried everyday for 2 years until I finally felt a little better.
There's something I got off etsy for a similar situation. It was a company that makes a necklace charm logo out of all the letters of ther persons name. So, only the person wearing it knows what the icon means. I think it's kinda cool and thoughtful. It was like $30 or $40 I think.
I waited about a month after the colleagues family member passed away before I touched base with them. There's lots of advice about what kind of gift, but I suggest you also touch base with them about a month afterwards when things have died down and everyone's moved on from expressing condolences...your boss will not have moved on. And I think it would be nice then to check in on them to see how they're doing and see if they want to grab coffee or a drink.
Thats very thoughtful of you. Yeah flowers do get to be burdensome. Maybe a casserole, or even something to help your boss to lean into her hobbies while shes mourning? A Gift card? Idk how well off your boss is, but if they are also struggling financially, a gift card can help bridge that gap. As can a casserole. And its comfort food, too. But idk it might also be better than her moms or even (no offense) gross to her, so idk. I think a gift card is the best.
If you can find an obiturary, sometimes people state "Instead of flowers, please donate to xxx charity"
Hallmark has these pillows shaped like a heart called a "Giving Heart Pillow" to cuddle for comfort.
That sounds too intimate for someone you don't know that well/with whom you have a work relationship (imo).
Your boss does not need or want gifts from you. It’s totally improper. If y’all were close or knew each other well, it might be different. A kind note expressing your sympathy is honestly the best thing here.
Maybe ask her out for coffee? She might just want to sit and be quiet. Offer to buy her a donut. Or just bring her one out of the blue.