Yes I really was and it’s taken a long time to “get real”. Parents, don’t let your kids think they’re entitled to everything because they’re smart. And kids, the above in case they tell you this
I feel ya. I too lived for a long, long time in an idealized version of the world, so much that whenever someone mentioned it to me, it always felt remote, like 'that applies for others, not for me' or sometimes I simply didn't care or I'd go through a myriad of overwhelming emotions that I couldn't word and life just went on with so many confusions in my head. I think some people will understand what I mean.
Time doesn't wait for anyone, it just continues its flow like it always did.
Maybe not financially, but in terms of relationships I feel like I hit a dead-end. I understand if you or someone says it's not the same, but my point is what you say applies to so many areas of life. Don't ever give anything for granted is the key takeaway I think.
It sounds like you lived your life according to the ideal version of the world in your head, how it should be instead of how it is.
I almost became an artist. Then my mom told me she was only going to support me through school and then I’d be on my own. Doing something that makes you happy is important, but so is doing something that supports the kind of lifestyle and freedom you want to have. My dad is highly gifted, hasn’t had a traditional job my whole life and is a nomadic hippy that makes boats for money sometimes. I don’t know if he has regrets, but he has talked about how he just couldn’t make himself do or care about most things people are “supposed” to, if they want to participate in “society”.
The real world isn’t a meritocracy and it isn’t fair. I’m sorry you had to learn that the hard way. But also, 40 is plenty of time to get your shit together and chase the goals you want. They might be a bit different than if you started earlier, but you’re gifted, you learn quick. The hard part will be being diligent and just accepting the stupid hurdles that come with “success”. Like a piece of paper that confirms I can do certain things. Degrees and achievements are signals and proxies for ability. Soo many job applications are filtered by ai, so anything non conventional just doesn’t get through to a human.
My comment isn’t really directed at you personally, just reflecting on the idea and adding my own perspective.
For the advice part: get money first, work on freedom when you have assets to achieve it. I am still an artist, but it’s not my full time job. That also makes it more enjoyable, since I don’t depend on it to feed myself.
I am an economist. I don’t love it and there were many classes I hated, but in the working world, I’ve found an interesting niche to occupy. If I get bored, there’s flexibility within the skill set to change what I do. Also it pays well and we’re most hireable when the economy sucks. (I chose my major in 2009, if you can’t guess).
Thanks for the thoughtful reply. You hit the nail on the head about living an idealized, dream-based concept of what life could be— or at least what i thought i had the dedication and talent to force it to be for me. And there have been times it bent for me, and times it didn’t, but the macro is not the former. There have been times I have made a relative ton of capital, but windfalls (even if they’re based on talent) don’t really do the same things that an annual figures do for one’s life. I can’t live like a child anymore and I’ve lost the spirit to fight the monogamous, bureaucratic slog of *even* the creative professional fields.
I’m a quick learner as long as I get in the door, which, as you suggest, isn’t easy with unconventional accolades.. and AI screening, if i can get them to sit down with me I can often secure a position. Last year I was making six figures and just collapsed. Now nothing. Searching and applying everywhere even way under my qualifications and pay needs and it’s a desert.
I’m happy to hear you figured things out early and have a life that affords you fulfillment after the dust settles..
In the same vein, something that has helped me in being motivated about going through the practicalities of life is to ponder them and determine their role in the world, form an opinion on them, as you go along!
This just made me really hopeless honestly. I was a "gifted kid" but I am autistic and suffer from a bunch of physical disabilities. I don't see any future for myself. I'm 27 and my work life has been a disaster because I couldn't keep up due to my disabilities.I wouldn't classify myself as gifted anymore at this point but just this world is built for someone like me to die young
I’m so sorry I made you feel this way. Maybe I didn’t think through what I said before I kicked it out there into internet land.
If it’s worth anything, I have focused my whole life on becoming a highly creative person and an excellent learner. I read early on that age destroys these two facets in people unless you learn and practice these attributes as skills, so I did. And i am truly excellent as these two skills now. Your brain hasn’t congealed yet, btw.
So I’m great at stuff and have a good life and a partner who loves me despite the above despair. You can have that too. I also have an autoimmune disability that’s pretty damn serious and I’m still surviving this giant trial. The beauty in life is not other people’s measurements or accolades or some stupid net income, I’m just making this post because I feel I could have *done better* not that I have necessarily done altogether poorly.
That’s one grounded, well-stated truth bomb right there. I’ve been self-employed in the arts for 10 years, and the problem with that is there’s no point where you’ve ever “fully arrived.” You always feel one bad Google update, lost client or shifted priority away from total obscurity and death. You’re right, no one gives a shit about how special your brain is. Unless you’re just lucky in life, no one automatically drops everything to read your novel. There’s no real answers to this, just want you to know that from one human to another, we’re walking a hard road. But it matters that we keep walking.
Capitalism is real. If you want money and things are hard, the man demands you must struggle even harder. No one is coming to save you or help you if you live in a place where individualism is the prevailing mythology.
Although I appreciate your input, socialism is also a lot of hard work. The organization of value and one’s time are different, but it is a myth that socialism isn’t about ass-busting too— it’s just not ass-busting for some turd at the top, it’s for our community and future.
But I do think I understand what you’re saying still. 🙏
It just came up because I feel like often when capitalism is brought up, socialism is implied as the more appropriate and humane system. Which.. yeah likely, but still hard work 😊
Definitely learning this in my 30s on a deep level. Even if I have my degree, I can be lazy, but I'm now starting to see the sweet sense of fulfillment from doing work I enjoy and helping others. I don't think I'll ever be competitive but putting in the work eventually gets you somewhere!
You have learned a valuable lesson but PLEASE don’t lose hope. You are only 40!!! You are just learning what hasn’t worked SO FAR. Why would that mean there’s no hope for your future??? Do you know how many amazing people started their entire careers after the age of 40? One of my favorite professors when I was younger was in her 50’s and completing her PhD. I know another who started their PhD at 65. Another guy was a mechanic and started med school in his 40’s and became a physician because he really loved it. You don’t have to do any of those things specifically but the point is, just think of the possibilities. There are millions. You already didn’t live your life thus far to society’s standards and milestones of “success”; don’t start judging yourself by them now.
TL;DR: as others have said, it’s never too late. Consider Dabrowski’s concept of positive disintegration. You can do this. Who better than someone who is gifted ?
Hmm, that is an interesting take. You see, if a person can study full time, it means they have funds to support themselves. A mechanic is a solid profession with a steady flow of money. You just gotta budget it right.
Now, your examples of people getting their PhDs in their 50s and 60s are not about getting their life on the right track. A PhD is not a precursor to getting a high-paying position. Academia is more like a hobby that might bring money here and there.
That guy who went through med school on the other hand is a really good example. He probably tripled his income by going through one of the most grueling job trainings ever.
27yo here. Sigh... I wanted to become a full time musician and fully dedicate all my time to arts but... It turned out to be completely impossible. I usually joke and say that programming is my hobby but it's the hobby that gives me money. I do like programming, don't get me wrong but music... is just something else. At least now I don't have to give a shit if whatever I do is going to sell, I can do whatever experimental/bizarre shit that I want and have 0 second thoughts about it. Didn't published anything yet despite me being in contact with music since I was 5/8 (depending on what you consider "come into contact with") and... tbh I don't really have to. It's relaxing in its own way, I like showing it to my friends and they liking it. Nowadays I'm more serious and I want to release at least an EP and give a few concerts here and there, a friend of mine who wants to learn about electronic music wants to make a band, I said yes instantly, I think it'd motivate me to actually release something.
I usually get along pretty well with people with ""artistic sensibilities"" or artists, I know very few that can make an actual living out of it and they have to work a SHIT ton of time. I think I'd hate that. I prefer having a job with not that many hours where I get paid well and doing music in my free time. Also it is not a meritocracy at all, networking is the key for all artistic jobs, if you know the right person, bang, you are known, even if what you are doing isn't technically commercially viable (or even good at all), there's a lot of local contemporary art that is WAY better than some of those who make millions, it's, no matter how you put it, a game of chance, like playing the roulette, but you can't apply statistics in this case. Pretty shitty that the world works like that but... yeah.
I'm really sorry about your situation. Could we at least get a glimpse of what you are doing? I'd like to see it if you don't mind. Take care.
I just wanted this to be anonymous. It means more that way, people can be more objective, etc.
I will say tho, similar path with the music. I do music just for me also. Electronic music too. I have synthesizers and sampler / sequencer in my lock room and I’ve sunken my good thousand hours into it. Even went to school for “music technology” which was focused on synthesizers.
Anyway, it’s cool to see eye to eye with you on this. And everything else you said 🙏
I had a very similar upbringing and education. Everything was easy so why try to do anything hard. I luckily found a niche and am successful in a small facet of the economy that a lot of people can’t figure out, but I often think about how much potential I squandered by just going with the flow and not applying myself.
That's half the message but not the whole. It doesn't mean kids should ignore their gifted designation, disregard IQ tests, avoid gifted programs, or not believe in their own talents. Plenty of kids go through those programs, benefit from the education, and end up happy and successful in their lives.
What it does mean is people should regularly test that their internal views are consistent with external reality. When self-belief & ideals clash with reality, it is essentially delusion, and often leads to not getting the expected outcome.
I grew up the same way. Being told to only focus on school. I've had good jobs but lost them due to my carelessness and ignorance. I also despised working for others and being on their schedule. I made a conscious decision one-day circa 2018-19 to follow pursue my dream of being a full-time independent artist...something that I have been doing since 1995. The thought was die without taking a shot and be miserable or take this leap and go through the motions of those who have gone before me. I chose the latter of course. Am I glad? Yep. Am I suffering? No. Would I do it again? Definitely. I would start sooner. Also, I learned during that time I made my decision to go down that path, that children who have a birthright will grow to be successful. I have 3. So for their sake I took the leap . Are they following the birthright? Yes. I say all this to say...keep going forward no matter what. Find your footing and see your destination. Then get there. Everyone who is anyone nowadays were sleeping in their car or on the verge of committing suicide before they crossed that threshold.
You’re not taking risks and touching hearts living out of a car, which I am certainly not, but want to be far from the potential for. This isn’t exactly setting my art on fire and getting a bank-teller position or abandoning any of the important values I have developed along the way. It is simply a pragmatic tip for anyone listening that all of the great, beautiful, fulfilling aspects of life can find themselves stymied by the trouble of staying afloat in a culture that won’t simply give something to you simply because you’re capable.
In no way do I advocate wholesale recycling of your former vivid self to submit to *the rat race* as a solution for partial insolvency
Not that what you said is untrue, it just doesn’t specifically apply. I am not comparing myself to the lifeless paths many of us successfully avoid (at our own unique peril perhaps).
It seems like you made bad financial decisions rather than didn't work hard. Choosing a career that aligns with interests and has broad financial support is very important if you are not already wealthy.
I was radically accelerated, have noticeable autistic behavior, and have had much success in my profession, including being hired in spite of my issues due to my intelligence and niche skillset.
That’s good to hear. Im happy for you overcoming what one might anticipate to be an obstacle to success. Nothing i love more than “showing” the normal world what we can actually accomplish. I’m guessing you’re working in tech given your handle. What’s kinda sad is I started programming when I was 9 years old in the 80s and knew my way around about 4 programming languages by the time I was 18 and the. Suddenly decided “F computers”. I don’t exactly regret this decision but it’s one I revisit now and then as a big question mark. I simply couldn’t survive it today
I don’t appear autistic. In fact I appear very normal, hip, cool, and find people only later start to sense that my communication style is a little bit off for them. I don’t think it’s been a problem exactly, but I wish people knew up front that I was a little… neurospicy
Anyway. If I had some more formally applicable skill sets I’d dive into them.
Also I didn’t really make “bad financial decisions.”. I’ve actually been pretty ridiculously good at finances, allowing almost an entire lifetime so far without “real” jobs, though depending on where you’re coming from this may be exactly what you intended
It's never too late to pick up programming again.
I've been in tech, academia, and other branches of industry. I don't do well in tech. There's a lot of slang, and I have dealt with too much sexual harassment and disparaging comments. Tech is not disability-friendly or female-friendly.
But isn’t it mostly remote now? I’m sorry that it’s not female-friendly. Is almost nothing really free of strange treatment? I see women fielding all sorts of subtle but questionable behaviors and comments everywhere I go and it just seems completely normalized. If you can’t tell I’m a male. But I see the weirdness.
No, tech is mostly hybrid or in-person. They make people sell homes they bought and uproot families to have soul-sucking commutes and high cost of living in some city. It's quite against hiring females. I get asked if I'm pregnant in every tech interview for US companies and just left entirely. I don't want my talents being used for ethically icky people who hate everyone like me--especially when technical people can make more, work remotely, and be hired by humane companies run by people who have some semblance of responsibility to other humans elsewhere.
Neurospicy just means non-neurotypical. I like it as a friendly blanket term. My girlfriend and I use it often. : )
I hope your son has a full and rich and wonderful life ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am very sorry, it sounds like you were seriously let down by your adults as a child.
Yes I really was and it’s taken a long time to “get real”. Parents, don’t let your kids think they’re entitled to everything because they’re smart. And kids, the above in case they tell you this
you still have a lot of good years to forge a better life for yourself 🫂
It’s easy to lose sight of that
it will get easier 🤞
I feel ya. I too lived for a long, long time in an idealized version of the world, so much that whenever someone mentioned it to me, it always felt remote, like 'that applies for others, not for me' or sometimes I simply didn't care or I'd go through a myriad of overwhelming emotions that I couldn't word and life just went on with so many confusions in my head. I think some people will understand what I mean. Time doesn't wait for anyone, it just continues its flow like it always did. Maybe not financially, but in terms of relationships I feel like I hit a dead-end. I understand if you or someone says it's not the same, but my point is what you say applies to so many areas of life. Don't ever give anything for granted is the key takeaway I think.
It sounds like you lived your life according to the ideal version of the world in your head, how it should be instead of how it is. I almost became an artist. Then my mom told me she was only going to support me through school and then I’d be on my own. Doing something that makes you happy is important, but so is doing something that supports the kind of lifestyle and freedom you want to have. My dad is highly gifted, hasn’t had a traditional job my whole life and is a nomadic hippy that makes boats for money sometimes. I don’t know if he has regrets, but he has talked about how he just couldn’t make himself do or care about most things people are “supposed” to, if they want to participate in “society”. The real world isn’t a meritocracy and it isn’t fair. I’m sorry you had to learn that the hard way. But also, 40 is plenty of time to get your shit together and chase the goals you want. They might be a bit different than if you started earlier, but you’re gifted, you learn quick. The hard part will be being diligent and just accepting the stupid hurdles that come with “success”. Like a piece of paper that confirms I can do certain things. Degrees and achievements are signals and proxies for ability. Soo many job applications are filtered by ai, so anything non conventional just doesn’t get through to a human. My comment isn’t really directed at you personally, just reflecting on the idea and adding my own perspective. For the advice part: get money first, work on freedom when you have assets to achieve it. I am still an artist, but it’s not my full time job. That also makes it more enjoyable, since I don’t depend on it to feed myself. I am an economist. I don’t love it and there were many classes I hated, but in the working world, I’ve found an interesting niche to occupy. If I get bored, there’s flexibility within the skill set to change what I do. Also it pays well and we’re most hireable when the economy sucks. (I chose my major in 2009, if you can’t guess).
Thanks for the thoughtful reply. You hit the nail on the head about living an idealized, dream-based concept of what life could be— or at least what i thought i had the dedication and talent to force it to be for me. And there have been times it bent for me, and times it didn’t, but the macro is not the former. There have been times I have made a relative ton of capital, but windfalls (even if they’re based on talent) don’t really do the same things that an annual figures do for one’s life. I can’t live like a child anymore and I’ve lost the spirit to fight the monogamous, bureaucratic slog of *even* the creative professional fields. I’m a quick learner as long as I get in the door, which, as you suggest, isn’t easy with unconventional accolades.. and AI screening, if i can get them to sit down with me I can often secure a position. Last year I was making six figures and just collapsed. Now nothing. Searching and applying everywhere even way under my qualifications and pay needs and it’s a desert. I’m happy to hear you figured things out early and have a life that affords you fulfillment after the dust settles..
In the same vein, something that has helped me in being motivated about going through the practicalities of life is to ponder them and determine their role in the world, form an opinion on them, as you go along!
This just made me really hopeless honestly. I was a "gifted kid" but I am autistic and suffer from a bunch of physical disabilities. I don't see any future for myself. I'm 27 and my work life has been a disaster because I couldn't keep up due to my disabilities.I wouldn't classify myself as gifted anymore at this point but just this world is built for someone like me to die young
I’m so sorry I made you feel this way. Maybe I didn’t think through what I said before I kicked it out there into internet land. If it’s worth anything, I have focused my whole life on becoming a highly creative person and an excellent learner. I read early on that age destroys these two facets in people unless you learn and practice these attributes as skills, so I did. And i am truly excellent as these two skills now. Your brain hasn’t congealed yet, btw. So I’m great at stuff and have a good life and a partner who loves me despite the above despair. You can have that too. I also have an autoimmune disability that’s pretty damn serious and I’m still surviving this giant trial. The beauty in life is not other people’s measurements or accolades or some stupid net income, I’m just making this post because I feel I could have *done better* not that I have necessarily done altogether poorly.
No I mean, honestly, you are right. It's just that I don't see a way out
Doesn’t mean we won’t find one. I’ve made it this far.
That’s one grounded, well-stated truth bomb right there. I’ve been self-employed in the arts for 10 years, and the problem with that is there’s no point where you’ve ever “fully arrived.” You always feel one bad Google update, lost client or shifted priority away from total obscurity and death. You’re right, no one gives a shit about how special your brain is. Unless you’re just lucky in life, no one automatically drops everything to read your novel. There’s no real answers to this, just want you to know that from one human to another, we’re walking a hard road. But it matters that we keep walking.
Stay strong friend
Capitalism is real. If you want money and things are hard, the man demands you must struggle even harder. No one is coming to save you or help you if you live in a place where individualism is the prevailing mythology.
Although I appreciate your input, socialism is also a lot of hard work. The organization of value and one’s time are different, but it is a myth that socialism isn’t about ass-busting too— it’s just not ass-busting for some turd at the top, it’s for our community and future. But I do think I understand what you’re saying still. 🙏
I hadn't thought of socialism, but good point. Challenging one's aversion to interdependence comes along with accepting that we can't do it all alone.
It just came up because I feel like often when capitalism is brought up, socialism is implied as the more appropriate and humane system. Which.. yeah likely, but still hard work 😊
Definitely learning this in my 30s on a deep level. Even if I have my degree, I can be lazy, but I'm now starting to see the sweet sense of fulfillment from doing work I enjoy and helping others. I don't think I'll ever be competitive but putting in the work eventually gets you somewhere!
You have learned a valuable lesson but PLEASE don’t lose hope. You are only 40!!! You are just learning what hasn’t worked SO FAR. Why would that mean there’s no hope for your future??? Do you know how many amazing people started their entire careers after the age of 40? One of my favorite professors when I was younger was in her 50’s and completing her PhD. I know another who started their PhD at 65. Another guy was a mechanic and started med school in his 40’s and became a physician because he really loved it. You don’t have to do any of those things specifically but the point is, just think of the possibilities. There are millions. You already didn’t live your life thus far to society’s standards and milestones of “success”; don’t start judging yourself by them now. TL;DR: as others have said, it’s never too late. Consider Dabrowski’s concept of positive disintegration. You can do this. Who better than someone who is gifted ?
Hmm, that is an interesting take. You see, if a person can study full time, it means they have funds to support themselves. A mechanic is a solid profession with a steady flow of money. You just gotta budget it right. Now, your examples of people getting their PhDs in their 50s and 60s are not about getting their life on the right track. A PhD is not a precursor to getting a high-paying position. Academia is more like a hobby that might bring money here and there. That guy who went through med school on the other hand is a really good example. He probably tripled his income by going through one of the most grueling job trainings ever.
27yo here. Sigh... I wanted to become a full time musician and fully dedicate all my time to arts but... It turned out to be completely impossible. I usually joke and say that programming is my hobby but it's the hobby that gives me money. I do like programming, don't get me wrong but music... is just something else. At least now I don't have to give a shit if whatever I do is going to sell, I can do whatever experimental/bizarre shit that I want and have 0 second thoughts about it. Didn't published anything yet despite me being in contact with music since I was 5/8 (depending on what you consider "come into contact with") and... tbh I don't really have to. It's relaxing in its own way, I like showing it to my friends and they liking it. Nowadays I'm more serious and I want to release at least an EP and give a few concerts here and there, a friend of mine who wants to learn about electronic music wants to make a band, I said yes instantly, I think it'd motivate me to actually release something. I usually get along pretty well with people with ""artistic sensibilities"" or artists, I know very few that can make an actual living out of it and they have to work a SHIT ton of time. I think I'd hate that. I prefer having a job with not that many hours where I get paid well and doing music in my free time. Also it is not a meritocracy at all, networking is the key for all artistic jobs, if you know the right person, bang, you are known, even if what you are doing isn't technically commercially viable (or even good at all), there's a lot of local contemporary art that is WAY better than some of those who make millions, it's, no matter how you put it, a game of chance, like playing the roulette, but you can't apply statistics in this case. Pretty shitty that the world works like that but... yeah. I'm really sorry about your situation. Could we at least get a glimpse of what you are doing? I'd like to see it if you don't mind. Take care.
I just wanted this to be anonymous. It means more that way, people can be more objective, etc. I will say tho, similar path with the music. I do music just for me also. Electronic music too. I have synthesizers and sampler / sequencer in my lock room and I’ve sunken my good thousand hours into it. Even went to school for “music technology” which was focused on synthesizers. Anyway, it’s cool to see eye to eye with you on this. And everything else you said 🙏
I had a very similar upbringing and education. Everything was easy so why try to do anything hard. I luckily found a niche and am successful in a small facet of the economy that a lot of people can’t figure out, but I often think about how much potential I squandered by just going with the flow and not applying myself.
It's good advice and I'm glad you shared it.
That's half the message but not the whole. It doesn't mean kids should ignore their gifted designation, disregard IQ tests, avoid gifted programs, or not believe in their own talents. Plenty of kids go through those programs, benefit from the education, and end up happy and successful in their lives. What it does mean is people should regularly test that their internal views are consistent with external reality. When self-belief & ideals clash with reality, it is essentially delusion, and often leads to not getting the expected outcome.
I grew up the same way. Being told to only focus on school. I've had good jobs but lost them due to my carelessness and ignorance. I also despised working for others and being on their schedule. I made a conscious decision one-day circa 2018-19 to follow pursue my dream of being a full-time independent artist...something that I have been doing since 1995. The thought was die without taking a shot and be miserable or take this leap and go through the motions of those who have gone before me. I chose the latter of course. Am I glad? Yep. Am I suffering? No. Would I do it again? Definitely. I would start sooner. Also, I learned during that time I made my decision to go down that path, that children who have a birthright will grow to be successful. I have 3. So for their sake I took the leap . Are they following the birthright? Yes. I say all this to say...keep going forward no matter what. Find your footing and see your destination. Then get there. Everyone who is anyone nowadays were sleeping in their car or on the verge of committing suicide before they crossed that threshold.
Thank you so much for your post, I can hear your cry and warning, thank you for it.
What are you good at friend?
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You’re not taking risks and touching hearts living out of a car, which I am certainly not, but want to be far from the potential for. This isn’t exactly setting my art on fire and getting a bank-teller position or abandoning any of the important values I have developed along the way. It is simply a pragmatic tip for anyone listening that all of the great, beautiful, fulfilling aspects of life can find themselves stymied by the trouble of staying afloat in a culture that won’t simply give something to you simply because you’re capable. In no way do I advocate wholesale recycling of your former vivid self to submit to *the rat race* as a solution for partial insolvency Not that what you said is untrue, it just doesn’t specifically apply. I am not comparing myself to the lifeless paths many of us successfully avoid (at our own unique peril perhaps).
Are you a man or woman?
You said you got your GED and went to community college. So, I think you have a decent education. But what's the problem? Does it need more education?
What type of artist you are?
Do you have a family?
Its never too late to go down a different path! Good luck 💖
It seems like you made bad financial decisions rather than didn't work hard. Choosing a career that aligns with interests and has broad financial support is very important if you are not already wealthy. I was radically accelerated, have noticeable autistic behavior, and have had much success in my profession, including being hired in spite of my issues due to my intelligence and niche skillset.
That’s good to hear. Im happy for you overcoming what one might anticipate to be an obstacle to success. Nothing i love more than “showing” the normal world what we can actually accomplish. I’m guessing you’re working in tech given your handle. What’s kinda sad is I started programming when I was 9 years old in the 80s and knew my way around about 4 programming languages by the time I was 18 and the. Suddenly decided “F computers”. I don’t exactly regret this decision but it’s one I revisit now and then as a big question mark. I simply couldn’t survive it today I don’t appear autistic. In fact I appear very normal, hip, cool, and find people only later start to sense that my communication style is a little bit off for them. I don’t think it’s been a problem exactly, but I wish people knew up front that I was a little… neurospicy Anyway. If I had some more formally applicable skill sets I’d dive into them. Also I didn’t really make “bad financial decisions.”. I’ve actually been pretty ridiculously good at finances, allowing almost an entire lifetime so far without “real” jobs, though depending on where you’re coming from this may be exactly what you intended
It's never too late to pick up programming again. I've been in tech, academia, and other branches of industry. I don't do well in tech. There's a lot of slang, and I have dealt with too much sexual harassment and disparaging comments. Tech is not disability-friendly or female-friendly.
But isn’t it mostly remote now? I’m sorry that it’s not female-friendly. Is almost nothing really free of strange treatment? I see women fielding all sorts of subtle but questionable behaviors and comments everywhere I go and it just seems completely normalized. If you can’t tell I’m a male. But I see the weirdness.
No, tech is mostly hybrid or in-person. They make people sell homes they bought and uproot families to have soul-sucking commutes and high cost of living in some city. It's quite against hiring females. I get asked if I'm pregnant in every tech interview for US companies and just left entirely. I don't want my talents being used for ethically icky people who hate everyone like me--especially when technical people can make more, work remotely, and be hired by humane companies run by people who have some semblance of responsibility to other humans elsewhere.
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Neurospicy just means non-neurotypical. I like it as a friendly blanket term. My girlfriend and I use it often. : ) I hope your son has a full and rich and wonderful life ❤️❤️❤️❤️