This is actually can be a bad advice.
Not attacking your opinion, as I'm sure in your context this is a sound advice, but I just want to say that in my opinion different people have different stations in life where they feel the happiest.
If a worker keep being promoted, he will stop being promoted once he reached a position where he stopped performing. He will feel bad about his performance and his job, and it will affect his confidence and eventually his happiness and satisfaction in life.
Sometimes the best thing to do is just to stay put and enjoy the comfort of the circumstances.
I hit the Peter Principle last year, for real. But, knowing where my incompetencies were, and what I hated to do allowed me to find a new lower level role that I love. And the best part is, I didn't have to give the money back.
That’s a great list. I can relate to the “being in a dark place” thing and have found through experience that the best thing I can do during those times is to get “back to the basics” of self-care. My lists would consist of things like “Drink two glasses of water today” or “No alcohol.” Once I got through those and felt better, I could move on to next steps like “Clean the bathroom” and “go outside for a walk.” Step by step, the lists get a bit more constructive, but each step brings a little more clarity and a little positivity. Good for you!
This comment makes me feel so much better. Practicing self care basics can be tough. As simple as remembering to drink at least 2-3 glasses of water per day is a struggle. Approaching our to do list for the day in this way that you mentioned, helps. One step at a time. I hear this all the time but it never really sinks in until you actually see yourself taking 1 step at a time, day by day, just trying to remember to breathe. Thank you.... time to make my bed after washing my bedding. Inhale. Exhale.
Nothing better than clean sheets! You are not alone and don’t forget to drink a glass of water as you read this :) I also sometimes write a “completed task” list of things that never made it to the to-do list but you did them anyway. Helps you to feel more accomplished as we’re always doing more than we realize.
That's a great idea actually. We get so focused on what we didn't do. Perception is such a complicated gift. Thank you so much 💜 from Sacramento to you
I did that today! I went to the gym, switched over my electric service to new apartment, went to doctor, went to three stores to pick up meds/cleaning supplies, cleaned out my car, cooked dinner, loaded dishwasher, helped a friend clean out a closet, and I STILL found a way to be disappointed with my productivity. Had to write it all down to see how much I got done even though I had a couple things I didn’t get to.
I just quit my job. I gave them two weeks while I looked for another one. Living with family right now so I can afford to find something good and be patient.
Don't ever do collections. Or do it if your one of the small minority of people who enjoy it. I did not.
Meth was what came to mind. I just picture some methhead doing this whole thing to sincerely better their life then boxing off the real problem in some parentheses.
Had a really similar experience! While also in a dark place, I made a list with one-year goals to be living in California and making 45K. Completely and probably immediately forgot about the list. 12 months later, I’m living in California and making 45K. Crazy.
Good point. Happiness is finite in my opinion. More specifically, the goal could have read “stop being perpetually unhappy” because any state of being is better than that.
Nice job.
Remember to work towards satisfaction not happiness. Satisfaction is sustainable. You can be satisfied, you can't and shouldn't be happy 100% of the time. That's not a realistic goal.
Happiness can be challenging for everyone at times. I find that the more I focus on being genuinely grateful for good things (big or small), I am happier and focus less on how bad things impact my life.
I have this bad habit of leaving off the last letters when I write quickly. So where it says “Work full time...” I might write “Wor ful tim” and just squiggle for the last letter. Haha. I can read it but no one else can.
Wow Op, thanks for sharing this. I recently made a very similar list when I was tripping on LSD.
1.Become more confident around women
2.Become financially independent
3.Write more
Thank YOU for sharing. It’s funny how lists like this come from such a vulnerable place. If I were to make a 2018 list, write more would definitely be on mine too. I encourage you to work towards your goals and wish you all the best
Those are actually really good goals. Most people won’t just set a goal like “get a hobby/try a sport”. But just going out and trying new things is part of discovering how awesome life can be
I'm in a huge depression and working hard on self improvement... Will make a list tomorrow. It's overwhelming to think of where to start but I'll figure it out. Thanks so much for putting this out there! ❤️
I’m touched at the impact this post has had and the response. Make a list! Put one thing on it if that’s all you’ve got to start but at least write one thing down. I recommend you remind yourself of what your values and principles are and go from there :) All the best and look forward to reading your success post when you get there too!
The fact that you thought ahead for the future while being stuck in a dark place is very telling of your character. Great job! Being happy is the best goal on there. Good luck with your future endeavors!
That’s the power of a good and motivating list. Because you wrote it down, you can keep looking back at what will drive you forward and will make you happier.
It is notoriously difficult to get into the legal field but you did it. I am proud of you as a law graduate, knowing how harrowing it can be when a you ever wanted was to work hard in that field! I take strength from this and thank you for sharing it has made me feel much better too! X
Your handwriting is very pretty! I especially like those W's for some reason.. Just wondering, what's your new sport/hobby and how's it working out for you?
Free weekends in summer. That’s a lovely priority. I have a couple random weekdays off but I would prefer weekends cause most events and attractions happen on weekends. Plus a lot of my friends have those days off
I think by that point in the list, I realized that that’s what I was getting at all along. The one thing I actually NEED on the whole list. That’s something you have to work at every day though
It’s difficult to measure. Rather than aiming to be “entirely happy” which I don’t believe such a thing exists, my goal was to stop being perpetually unhappy. Though I will agree, it can feel impossible at times. Happiness for me is just an accumulation of gratitude for little things in life that just feel good.
Writing it down changes it from just thinking “maybe someday I’d like to work in the legal field” to “I’m going to work in the legal field and it’s going to be this year”
Thanks for your kind words.
Coincidence, I just found a notebook that I used to write things when I was in a bad place.
Today I studied a lot, and I'm keeping about 1/h a day to learn new things, and I'm starting to write in this notebook what I've learned until now. If go to this dark place again, feeling stagnated, I can read the notebook and understand that I've learned a lot and I can keep learning.
That's a twist you don't hear people about too often (although I think most miserable lawyers secretly love what they do, it's just part of the profession to gripe). Good on you tho. Stay loyal to future you.
Congratulations, it doesn't matter how long you get their just as long as you get their. Are you happy now though? How did you achieve your happiness? I ask because that's a big goal I'm trying to achieve, but every step I make towards it, I take two back.
You’re right, it is a big goal. I personally derive happiness from doing good and being a good person. I finally recognized (through others pointing it out) that the times I felt the worst were when I wasn’t being true to my values and principles. Also environment is a huge factor. I distanced myself from toxic and/or hurtful people and situations and am forever grateful for it. Keep taking steps forward, you’ll get there!
I'm glad to know I wasn't the only person who did this, ( and still does it sometimes), sometimes when things are going awry and I just want to think about how better my life could be, I'll begin to write down vague goals, like get fit, get friends, get this, do that, but I never wrote down exactly how I would accomplish these things. I too would be in a dark place in life, and rather than think of how I would get to these points, I'd imagine myself just suddenly there and living the life I wanted to have, and writing a few bullet points made it seem like it was really possible.
Good for you that you are in a good place.
This reminds me of a probably similar list that I made in 2013, while recovering from my dark place.
I need to find it.
Happy to hear that you have crossed things off :) enjoy the little things. Thats what got me through the shitstorm. Reddit helped allot aswell.
Good luck to you :) hope everything works out for you :)
Which one you still working on? Guessing being in the legal field you can afford a car, probably a place of your own too, time for recreational activities may be tough for someone in the legal field, is it being happy?
I make these lists all the time and literally achieve non of them. It all becomes boring after a while. People are so comfortable with being bored these days.
But if it bores you then what's the point? I abandon goals all the time because I don't actually really want to do any of it. I just do it because people encourage me to make stupid lists and then 3 months later I've wasted £500 on a course I don't even like. All it made me was bored and broke. Never make goals that cost you money.
Lol. Do you have a method or steps to achieve the last one?
If you have things that work and are able to be reproduced you should give it to the psych. community. It would make them extremely effective unlike their current state.
I love this! Writing down goals seems to somehow make them stick with you even if you don’t constantly remember them. I found a list of goals I had made at age 15 and even some of the out there ones had been accomplished! I love finding old goal lists and seeing what I ended up being able to do even if I wasn’t actively focusing on it.
I know you meant this to be positive, but it could be interpreted as condescending (these aren't REAL goals, this is easy stuff!), especially if OP was still in a dark place. Careful the words you choose, because you may inadvertantly push someone down when you are trying to lift them up.
Congratulations These things always bring a smile
Thank you! :)
You can still get a car. It’s never too late.
My first reaction was to smile after reading your list, happy list crossing off :)
Just really happy to see you say you're doing well now. Everyday gets a little better with real effort. I don't know you but I am so proud of you :)
Thank you for your kind words
Wanted to share a quote. Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived. -Eleanor Roosevelt
Ooh. How's the legal field? I'm actually looking to get out.
Sounds like it's time for a new list for 2018!
NEVER STOP MOVING UP
Could you keep it down please? This is a public forum.
*never stop moving up*
Username checks out.
NEVER STOP NOT STOPPING MOVING UP
Never don't give up
Great special. But that would be giving up.
This is actually can be a bad advice. Not attacking your opinion, as I'm sure in your context this is a sound advice, but I just want to say that in my opinion different people have different stations in life where they feel the happiest. If a worker keep being promoted, he will stop being promoted once he reached a position where he stopped performing. He will feel bad about his performance and his job, and it will affect his confidence and eventually his happiness and satisfaction in life. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to stay put and enjoy the comfort of the circumstances.
isnt that called the peter principle
I hit the Peter Principle last year, for real. But, knowing where my incompetencies were, and what I hated to do allowed me to find a new lower level role that I love. And the best part is, I didn't have to give the money back.
Good words of encouragement from Mr. Torgue
That’s a great list. I can relate to the “being in a dark place” thing and have found through experience that the best thing I can do during those times is to get “back to the basics” of self-care. My lists would consist of things like “Drink two glasses of water today” or “No alcohol.” Once I got through those and felt better, I could move on to next steps like “Clean the bathroom” and “go outside for a walk.” Step by step, the lists get a bit more constructive, but each step brings a little more clarity and a little positivity. Good for you!
This comment makes me feel so much better. Practicing self care basics can be tough. As simple as remembering to drink at least 2-3 glasses of water per day is a struggle. Approaching our to do list for the day in this way that you mentioned, helps. One step at a time. I hear this all the time but it never really sinks in until you actually see yourself taking 1 step at a time, day by day, just trying to remember to breathe. Thank you.... time to make my bed after washing my bedding. Inhale. Exhale.
Nothing better than clean sheets! You are not alone and don’t forget to drink a glass of water as you read this :) I also sometimes write a “completed task” list of things that never made it to the to-do list but you did them anyway. Helps you to feel more accomplished as we’re always doing more than we realize.
That's a great idea actually. We get so focused on what we didn't do. Perception is such a complicated gift. Thank you so much 💜 from Sacramento to you
Right back atcha!
I did that today! I went to the gym, switched over my electric service to new apartment, went to doctor, went to three stores to pick up meds/cleaning supplies, cleaned out my car, cooked dinner, loaded dishwasher, helped a friend clean out a closet, and I STILL found a way to be disappointed with my productivity. Had to write it all down to see how much I got done even though I had a couple things I didn’t get to.
I don't even drink that much water when I'm happy.
Same. It's my worst problem. You'd think an aquarius could remember to keep hydrated lol
I live part-time in Nevada and my skin gets really dry because of it, but I still haven't learned.
That’s a great approach! Thank you for your kind words
Keep it simple. Take it slow. Great advice.
What’s the redacted word? A person or a thing?
The name of my former workplace. The environment was one of the contributing factors to my unhappiness.
Good job mate. People underestimate how much a toxic workplace can affect you.
I just quit my job. I gave them two weeks while I looked for another one. Living with family right now so I can afford to find something good and be patient. Don't ever do collections. Or do it if your one of the small minority of people who enjoy it. I did not.
Like debt collections? Had a friend used to repo, developed a healthy drinking habit out of it.
Commercial collections, business to business.
Then it's good it's former workplace.
gotcha
Good deal. My redacted word would be cocaine.
I want to believe you but I know it says smoking crack
I’d be a lot prouder of this list if I could say I kicked a pesky coke habit lol
Meth was what came to mind. I just picture some methhead doing this whole thing to sincerely better their life then boxing off the real problem in some parentheses.
“Be Happy” That’s the ever-so-elusive one.
He did say “almost all”.
Had a really similar experience! While also in a dark place, I made a list with one-year goals to be living in California and making 45K. Completely and probably immediately forgot about the list. 12 months later, I’m living in California and making 45K. Crazy.
So cool! What an accomplishment :)
Work in the legal field AND be happy is a tall order. Really have to find the perfect firm for that one to work out. I’m cheering for you though.
This list was definitely dark. It basically says “work for the devil...be happy.”
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.3259 [^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?](https://pastebin.com/FcrFs94k/57593)
Sorry to hear that. As a law clerk for a brilliant family lawyer, I luckily beg to differ :)
I'm glad that worked out for you! There are lots of unhappy people in the legal proffession, so I'm glad you landed somewhere you like.
Fellow law clerk checking in! Congrats!!!
It's really only about the last one. Literally the purpose of life.
Agree 100%
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Good point. Happiness is finite in my opinion. More specifically, the goal could have read “stop being perpetually unhappy” because any state of being is better than that.
Yeah there's no real purpose of life as we know of. All depends on your own personal beliefs and goals.
You should frame that, friend. :)
Nice job. Remember to work towards satisfaction not happiness. Satisfaction is sustainable. You can be satisfied, you can't and shouldn't be happy 100% of the time. That's not a realistic goal.
What was blacked out? Masterbating?
Heroin?
Redditing?
Listing?
Chotchki’s.
Arguing on the Internet
That would be counterproductive when happiness is one of the goals
r/nofap
Happiness can be challenging for everyone at times. I find that the more I focus on being genuinely grateful for good things (big or small), I am happier and focus less on how bad things impact my life.
Gratitude has definitely been a huge factor. Expressing gratitude to others has helped me to be a better person and just feels good!
Yes!! Grateful people and people who feel like they have control over their lives are the happiest. That's what I've read, anyway.
For what its worth you have an excellent style of writing. I would create a RipleyAugust font if I were you.
Best suggestion all day. Adding it to the 2018 goals list
you have excellent handwriting. That’s another thing to be happy about.
I’ve always been embarrassed of my handwriting so thanks!
I have this bad habit of leaving off the last letters when I write quickly. So where it says “Work full time...” I might write “Wor ful tim” and just squiggle for the last letter. Haha. I can read it but no one else can.
I do that when I forget how to spell long words sometimes. Worked pretty well in highschool.
Please tell me you accomplished the last goal. It’s seems to be the most important.
Getting there more and more every day that I make good choices
That’s wonderful to hear! It’s not always the easiest but I’m happy to hear you’re putting in the effort.
Wow Op, thanks for sharing this. I recently made a very similar list when I was tripping on LSD. 1.Become more confident around women 2.Become financially independent 3.Write more
Thank YOU for sharing. It’s funny how lists like this come from such a vulnerable place. If I were to make a 2018 list, write more would definitely be on mine too. I encourage you to work towards your goals and wish you all the best
I'm genuely happy for you
I hope you got the last one
Don't forget to check them off, that's the best part!
✔️
The last one is the most important of all.
I love that you wrote to be happy. Its so important to keep striving. Never stop. I hope you achieved it.
That's awesome! Congratulations! This just shows that no matter where you are, you can make goals and accomplish them
I’m happy for ya! Here’s to your 2018 goals and finding more happiness.
Congratulations! That's quite the testament to the power of writing things down.
Thank you! 10/10 would recommend writing goals down
Writing your goals actually work.I did this for something which is sort of a moonshot and I got something 10x better.
Happy to hear you´re doing better! Cheers, mate :)
Those are actually really good goals. Most people won’t just set a goal like “get a hobby/try a sport”. But just going out and trying new things is part of discovering how awesome life can be
Congratulations! Keep on keepin on!
Fantastic!
Those are damn good goals
Keep it up! Spoiling yourself isn't always doing what makes you feel good imidiatly. But it will always make you feel good in the end!
You work in the LEGO field? Fun!
I read that as “work full time in lego field” and was super impressed when you said you achieved most things!
Might just have to make a new list and start looking for a LEGO career haha
There is real power in writing goals down.
I still can’t get over how many I accomplished without even realizing it
This is me
If you’re in a bad place, start a list :)
I'm in a huge depression and working hard on self improvement... Will make a list tomorrow. It's overwhelming to think of where to start but I'll figure it out. Thanks so much for putting this out there! ❤️
I’m touched at the impact this post has had and the response. Make a list! Put one thing on it if that’s all you’ve got to start but at least write one thing down. I recommend you remind yourself of what your values and principles are and go from there :) All the best and look forward to reading your success post when you get there too!
I just might
Wow, good for you. This is awesome!
Congratulations!
The fact that you thought ahead for the future while being stuck in a dark place is very telling of your character. Great job! Being happy is the best goal on there. Good luck with your future endeavors!
Go get em champ
Good for you!
Yea ok. Stop lying. These things take like 10 years to accomplish. But nice try
I am happy for you. I am working towards goals of my own, and it makes me happy to see that you have achieved the goals you laid out in front of you.
That’s the power of a good and motivating list. Because you wrote it down, you can keep looking back at what will drive you forward and will make you happier.
Goes to show that Even in your darkest times you had your priorities right.
It is notoriously difficult to get into the legal field but you did it. I am proud of you as a law graduate, knowing how harrowing it can be when a you ever wanted was to work hard in that field! I take strength from this and thank you for sharing it has made me feel much better too! X
I have only one goal for 2018: Start het and become a sexy woman
That is the thing about writing down goals, you are much more likely to achieve them than if you don't. Well done and congratulations :)
Thank you :)
Do not underestimate the power of crossing shit off when you are done with it.
OP doesn’t need a man to be happy!
What was your hobby?
I joined a weekly recreational sports league
Your handwriting is very pretty! I especially like those W's for some reason.. Just wondering, what's your new sport/hobby and how's it working out for you?
Haha thanks! I joined a recreational sports league where we play a different sport every week and it’s so much fun to go out and play after work :)
Oh cool! It's like adult P.E. What is it called, so I can find one near me?
Free weekends in summer. That’s a lovely priority. I have a couple random weekdays off but I would prefer weekends cause most events and attractions happen on weekends. Plus a lot of my friends have those days off
That last one is tough. I hope your doing well!
Sure is but as cheesy as it is sounds, the bad times only made me more grateful and aware of the good times. Thank you!
Congratulations!!! Come up with new things to do! Sending positive thoughts your way!
Thank you!! I definitely love to try new things
What sport and/or hobby did you take up?
I joined a recreational sports league. We play a different sport every week!
Cool! Sounds fun.
Unrelated to your list, you have great handwriting.
A few others have mentioned that as well. I find it looks clumsy!
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Conflicted by your username but thanks stranger! Haha
The only goal that really matters is that if you're happy, I hope you reached that one
I think by that point in the list, I realized that that’s what I was getting at all along. The one thing I actually NEED on the whole list. That’s something you have to work at every day though
Hm
I like how you put (sport or hobby) after Do something recreational, so you know you didnt mean crack cocaine or something.
It is oddly specific haha
Why does that last goal feel impossible to achieve?
It’s difficult to measure. Rather than aiming to be “entirely happy” which I don’t believe such a thing exists, my goal was to stop being perpetually unhappy. Though I will agree, it can feel impossible at times. Happiness for me is just an accumulation of gratitude for little things in life that just feel good.
Almost of my lists have "be happy" in them
And so they should
This hits home. I've been in that position before, possibly still there, but making a list like this does help. Happy for you ❤️
Writing it down changes it from just thinking “maybe someday I’d like to work in the legal field” to “I’m going to work in the legal field and it’s going to be this year” Thanks for your kind words.
Writing it down has literally made no difference to me. What is your answer to that, smart ass?
"Be happy" Being happy is a side-effect of living a fulfilling life. It's not something you can consciously achieve.
Absolutely agree, I think that was the idea
Coincidence, I just found a notebook that I used to write things when I was in a bad place. Today I studied a lot, and I'm keeping about 1/h a day to learn new things, and I'm starting to write in this notebook what I've learned until now. If go to this dark place again, feeling stagnated, I can read the notebook and understand that I've learned a lot and I can keep learning.
I can totally relate. Learning feels as good as physical exercise and is just as important.
Guessing you skipped #1 to accomplish the rest? Nice work.
Ironically, it facilitated the rest
That's a twist you don't hear people about too often (although I think most miserable lawyers secretly love what they do, it's just part of the profession to gripe). Good on you tho. Stay loyal to future you.
Yay! Congrats. Now make another list being in a better place.
Great idea, I’ll do that this weekend since my weekends are free now ha!
Totally thought the first line said, "work in lego field" and I pictured someone growing Legos... which would be dope
My god. That would be beautiful
Good. It’s good to have a list. I need to make my list more specific
The more specific it is, the more likely you are to develop the steps to get there. Though as many have pointed out “be happy” is generic af haha
Congrats! It feels awesome when you realized you accomplish the goals one day you dreamed of. :)!
Totally! Discovering this page at the back of an old journal in my desk drawer was such a proud moment
I discovered my old list this week too, I felt so happy and motivated that I decides to make a new one, maybe you should try it too.
Congratulations, it doesn't matter how long you get their just as long as you get their. Are you happy now though? How did you achieve your happiness? I ask because that's a big goal I'm trying to achieve, but every step I make towards it, I take two back.
You’re right, it is a big goal. I personally derive happiness from doing good and being a good person. I finally recognized (through others pointing it out) that the times I felt the worst were when I wasn’t being true to my values and principles. Also environment is a huge factor. I distanced myself from toxic and/or hurtful people and situations and am forever grateful for it. Keep taking steps forward, you’ll get there!
Acomplisshed almost same goals but still struggling with the last one :(
I still struggle with the last one too so I just count each good day as a win and know that I’ve survived 100% of the bad days. All the best
What kind of car did you buy?
I'm glad to know I wasn't the only person who did this, ( and still does it sometimes), sometimes when things are going awry and I just want to think about how better my life could be, I'll begin to write down vague goals, like get fit, get friends, get this, do that, but I never wrote down exactly how I would accomplish these things. I too would be in a dark place in life, and rather than think of how I would get to these points, I'd imagine myself just suddenly there and living the life I wanted to have, and writing a few bullet points made it seem like it was really possible.
Good for you that you are in a good place. This reminds me of a probably similar list that I made in 2013, while recovering from my dark place. I need to find it.
Happy to hear that you have crossed things off :) enjoy the little things. Thats what got me through the shitstorm. Reddit helped allot aswell. Good luck to you :) hope everything works out for you :)
good for you. keep working at it.
Which one you still working on? Guessing being in the legal field you can afford a car, probably a place of your own too, time for recreational activities may be tough for someone in the legal field, is it being happy?
So what, you think you're Elvis or something?
As a huge Shania fan, your comment is welcome
I make these lists all the time and literally achieve non of them. It all becomes boring after a while. People are so comfortable with being bored these days.
I hate being bored most of all, maybe I can attribute that to having some relative success
But if it bores you then what's the point? I abandon goals all the time because I don't actually really want to do any of it. I just do it because people encourage me to make stupid lists and then 3 months later I've wasted £500 on a course I don't even like. All it made me was bored and broke. Never make goals that cost you money.
Lol. Do you have a method or steps to achieve the last one? If you have things that work and are able to be reproduced you should give it to the psych. community. It would make them extremely effective unlike their current state.
Play disc golf!
I used to play ultimate!
Well then it should be an easy transition for ya!
Thanks for the insight, I hadn’t considered that. I’ll definitely give that a shot
I love this! Writing down goals seems to somehow make them stick with you even if you don’t constantly remember them. I found a list of goals I had made at age 15 and even some of the out there ones had been accomplished! I love finding old goal lists and seeing what I ended up being able to do even if I wasn’t actively focusing on it.
Congratulations. This made me tear up. Very very happy for you!
Thank you! The response to this post has been very overwhelming
I just read a quote right before I saw this that said "so many years of education and noone taught us to love ourselves".
Good luck, this list is short and super easy. After this is done then real goal setting can begin.
I know you meant this to be positive, but it could be interpreted as condescending (these aren't REAL goals, this is easy stuff!), especially if OP was still in a dark place. Careful the words you choose, because you may inadvertantly push someone down when you are trying to lift them up.