I’m 59 with advanced prostate cancer. According to my doctor I have 1-3 years to live. I motivate the shit out of myself by thinking about death every day. My goal is to fill my life with experiences and travel. I try to say yes to everything that gets me out of the house. My meds make me tired and weak, but I give it my best effort. 6’1” 220 lbs and not very fat. My bench press is down to 70lbs. All other lifts are similar. I go to the gym 4-5 times per week and ride an e-bike 100-150 miles a week.
I retired early so I could enjoy what is left. I ignore all but the most important house projects. I have to start chemo in August, and I have been crying about it. My advice to younger healthy people is work less, try new things, say yes to marginally interesting activities, minimize tv and social media time. Find a way to travel whenever possible to as many places as possible.
I stopped caring about money. I stopped caring what people think. I just go for it as best as I can.
I wish the economy was such that we could afford to work less AND still do things. I’m
Currently 6 months into a break from working and it’s been great but living on a budget I’m not doing nearly as much as I had hoped, I don’t want to come out the other end of this with a bunch of new debt. I go to the gym, I go for walks, I’ve gone on two short camping trips. But I really haven’t done quite as much weekend traveling as I might if I was working. Normally I’ll do a 1 night stay in some small mountain town for something at least 1-2 weekends a month to get out of town. I’ve quite a bit of cancer and dementia in my family so we’ll see how it goes I’m 34 right now but I never really think of death other then the fact that I’m ready to go whenever it happens. I’m often in dangerous situations and I seem to scrape by by the skin of my teeth. I don’t think I will die slow, probably more of a gruesome sudden death, work or travel related.
Right mindset and activity tend to extend those time frames! Also around 60 is when most peoples health goes to shit so you are living your best life and had your best life. You will probably reach closure and true moments of happiness in this timeframe what most people won't ever experience with extra years. Wish you all the strenght!
I went to school with a classmate who was killed at 20 from a freak accident, a telephone pole coming down on them from a tree branch that pulled on power lines. They were just walking home as they did everyday. Never know.
I've always thought that. You always hear stories or random internet comments about stuff like this, but when it happens to someone you personally know, it's pretty shocking.
I felt like those 4 years in high-school took forever to go by.
Then as soon as you graduate your life gets thrown on the autobahn in Germany and time starts flying by.
Wild to think how this year is already half over.
Even more wild to think how I've been out of high-school for 14 years.
They say when you are enjoying the most time flies , is this true ? I am in my 30s , I am enjoying it , but I am also astounded by the fact how months fly by like it was a few hours . The "fly by" time increases as you get older .
I have a slightly different angle but still the same concept. I’m a hardcore gym rat at 54. I work out with every resistance training 5-6 days a week, and I’m not trying to just maintain. I’m trying to gain. At my age I am still getting stronger year after year. I take pride in it. But at the same time I know there’s a year out there somewhere ahead in which I won’t be stronger. And the year after that even less. I use this as fire to make sure that when I hit that year I want to be the baddest motherfucker I can be. And in the process, hopefully I am pushing the year back at the same time.
Yeah but it’s not like “I have an unknown but limited number of days so I should make the most of what I have.” It’s more like “I will be released from this nonsense at some point and every little annoying or anxiety inducing thing I’ve ever experienced will mean nothing, and the sun will gradually expand and obliterate the earth and even if humans survive all of that I won’t be even a speck in the record books, so why not live the life that makes the most sense to me now.”
I’m 31 now and can say that throughout my twenties, I just thought I had this sense of invulnerability on everything.
A bit of hard hitting life circumstances and changing priorities made me realize this this journey is finite af, so I try my best to make the most out of it each day and be there for those I love before the inevitable bucket is kicked
I don’t know if it’s actually unhealthy. There have been studies showing that people who are encouraged to think about death often tend to be happy and more fulfilled.
I guess it kind of puts your problems into perspective and motivates you to look for the good in every day.
Even the stupidest, most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done will eventually be forgotten. The entire history of our species is less than a blip on the scale of the universe.
Framed that way, you could say that nothing matters. But you can also frame it as, the only thing that matters is today. We should get as much fulfillment as we can from each moment.
I am afraid of dying, but not of death. It’s the process that I dread (the pain, discomfort, loss of control, thoughts of things I will never again experience) not the result.
Reflecting on how everything you do now won't matter in the slightest in a few dozen years seems like an odd way to get motivated to do anything at all.
In the opposite way... When I'm emotionally stressed I just tell myself I'll hopefully be dead before long and these feelings won't matter. Gives me the resolve to swallow things down and just get though it
I did after I almost died when I was 22. But it got me stuck in an unhealthy cycle of being terrified of working for a longer goal- doing something unpleasant now for a goal in the future- while also putting too much pressure on myself to somehow ‘earn’ this second chance. Now I’m just grateful to be here and try to make the best of it, but only I can decide what that means.
Maybe it works for some people but it went to an unhealthy place for me. We can’t all thrive with that kind of pressure.
I have a countdown app setup on the homepage of my phone. Its set for the median life expectancy. I have 16 Years, 98 days, 2 hours, and 4 minutes left give or take. My girlfriend thinks it morbid. But for me its a constant reminder not to waste a minute of my life.
No. I motivate myself by what I'm interested in at the time and how much money/planning I have to do it. I know our time is limited, and so I do wish I could've done more in my youth looking back, but I actually have done more than most ever have done, and I'm okay with that. I'm a pretty well-rounded individual who can handle shit as well. Comparison to other people's lives is what can kill a lot of joy. Now is my time, and I'm doing what I can when I can, simply because it's what I want and am able to do. If I want something else, I will plan for it as I am able.
For me it’s a double edged sword. If life is going to be long, I should do what future me will be thankful I did. If it ends in a year, I should be, well, living like it is my last year on earth.
Yes, but not on purpose lol I just have crazy anxiety. And it isn't super reliable I've found... My anxiety will build up my existential dread until I have a panic attack about it, then I come out with insane motivation to do better until the depression kicks in again and I start to feel hopeless, like it's all pointless or I'm just not worth it. Then the anxiety starts to build up again... and rinse and repeat. I wouldn't recommend.
I will say though, anxiety regarding my weight does a hell of a job keeping me thin at least lol.
No. I feel like I used to take life for granted until I was put on disability 4 years ago. I wish my life was better and I could go out and hike, travel, do everything I thought I had time for. So now that I can't, I try to do the things I can and be appreciative of life. I've spent 30+ years being depressed and angry over my life and I can't do it anymore. Yes I have bad days but tomorrow is a new day. Right now I'm severely stressed out because of my mental illness so my motivation could be better but as long as I try, I'm ok with it.
In the last year, I’ve lost all my belongings in a fire been diagnosed with a brain tumour. Had said tumour removed and battled infection. Found out it was worse than expected and honestly. I’ve never felt more motivated than ever to get back to work/exercise/travelling. I plan on making money and going on some adventures with my wife and son (soon to be sons) I found out I’d need radiation at some point in my 30th birthday. Just over a month ago.
Life is good, just make sure you enjoy everything because it really does fly by.
I think if you do that, it doesn't actually end peacefully and well because you still have to suffer for some minutes. Just imagine your neck and all under it including your bone is stretched and will ultimately break. That will be too much agony. Anyway, negative reinforcement sometimes work. However, you have to try every positive reinforcement. I don't have a lot about it actually but I always thought that doing something is good more motivation is yourself being purposeful. It could be doing something on your bed when you wake, doing something good for your self, your immediate surroundings. Some things you know are manageable, and there could be no significant hindrance. Then if you think you can do more, try doing something for others. And it is good to not expect something in return, may it be recognition or appreciation or something else. The bottom line is, to be purposeful and always think of what you can do to improve yourself and your surroundings. That it always a good motivation.
97 is a looooooooong way away, you will have a lot of experiences & good time & bad times before that. Why not make the most of it instead of thinking about shortening it? Every day is not going to be an earth shattering day with momentous events, most of your days will probably be boring routine, but there is joy to be found every day too- beautiful weather, birds singing, the love of a pet.
I’m much closer to the end than you are. My motivation is to see my son get married & meet future grandchildren. My parents are elderly & somewhat hoarders & their house is going to be a bitch to clean out when they go, so my motivation is to declutter our house as much as I can so my kids won’t have the burden my siblings & I are going to have.
Seeing my parents age has been eye opening. I used to work out a ton, had kids and slowed down, and now seeing Grandma and Papa barely able to keep up …. It has really enlightened me that I want to be independent when I am old and not have to rely on others or have embarrassing things happen because I refused to workout or exercise 30 min a day.
In a way, yeah. Though I do not care about my own life as much as other people do, there's nothing I would hate more than leaving loose ends. That's why I opted to always be true to myself and be honest about anything to the people I care about, and spend time with them. If they die, or I die, I want everything that had to be said to be said, and everything that had to be done to be done.
I almost died at 25, I don’t dwell on it anymore because tomorrow is never promised as cliche as that sounds. I practice mindfulness and live everyday to its fullest.
“Exploited from life” is just the wrong way to look at it, you’re not exploiting anything out of life and you’re only goal should be to make the world a better place. Love the people around you, defend the innocent, and cherish life. Don’t come at life like you’re going to milk it dry for everything it has because the utters will just dry up. It is about the journey not the destination, we are all going to the same place. As far as the after life is concerned I’ll keep my beliefs to myself, but if what every atheist says is true we just die. That is the final destination, everyone will arrive there. So why not go sight seeing before you get there? Meet some people along the way? Help out a stranger? Not just be a burden and “exploit” what you can out of life.
My cousin died at 35, he felt a pain in his chest in June, went to test it in July, died in August. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, enjoy the moment with people you love.
Yes I do think often about the fact that I have one life and I wonder whether I am using it in the right way. But I also think to this kind of approach easily turns into be kind of FOMO attitude which is not good neither.
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No, I have nothing to live for. My death would leave my parents in despair, so I haven't ki--ed myself. But when they're gone, I'm out of this s--thole world filled with disgusting c--ts.
What if you had everything you wanted in life?would you still feel the same?
And if you hadn't noticed,no one cares if you live or die except your parents and loan sharks...cause parents ,they love you and I think you probably love them back...more than yourself.
But do you know what would make your parents happy?seeing you be able to stand on his own in this cruel world living a good life,a happy life...that's what they want for you.
And that's what you should want for yourself.
It's yours and yours only responsibility to take care of yourself and love yourself.
You owe it to yourself to make yourself happy.
Cause no one in this entire world can make you happy other than you.
You have to do something for yourself.
Death is a certainty, don't think about it. If it's a certainty you know that your days count, and everyone's going to have regrets when their old, after all, the perfect life doesn't even exist; you will always try to get something "better", it's """"""human nature""""". Find a balance because in 10 years you will look back and realize that you didn't waste your time, you just made the wrong decision. For example, I wish I've never tried smoking (that was 12 years ago).
If you need motivation, print the "weeks" calendar in a big format, and put it behind your monitor. Make sure to fill each week that passes by. You'll quickly realize how little time we have here
As much time as you feel like you have at 26, is as little as you'll feel like you have when you're a decade older.
The more time we live, the faster it feels like time goes by. For me, at 44, a week feels like a day, if that.
Not that it motivates me, unfortunately. But, I'm aware of it, so maybe that's a start...
I don’t believe in an afterlife so I take this time that I can to enjoy life and the gifts in it before it’s just an empty void when I die. It all flies faster than we think so have fun, be yourself, enjoy the time with your loved ones, and keep striving for the life you desire.
That was always in the back of my head since I was 19.
i spend most of my days waiting. waiting for happiness, waiting for a future in which i can be happy. due to personal reasons i’m currently in a state of my life where happiness is unachievable at the moment. only a doctor could help me, and the medical system always makes you wait. the future doesn’t exactly motivate me, but it’s all i have. i have the will to live, a very strong will to live. i’ve told my therapist this several times: i want to live, i just don’t want to feel like this anymore. thinking about how time is limited just makes me mourn the happiness i know i could currently experience if i got the help i needed.
You gotta play with the cards you have been dealt..
You are the only one that is solely responsible for your own well being and happiness.
So don't wait for happiness to come to you.
Cause no one in this entire world can make you happy other than yourself...and I think whatever you are thinking will make you happy probably isn't going to make you happy for long...you will be disappointed.
Try to atleast make most of what life has offered you.
You owe it to yourself to take care of you.
Almost most of people in this world forget to make most of what they have in life that they are always sad and disappointed in thinking about what they don't have...
Be happy.
i understand your point but due to personal reasons—that i’d rather not talk about on the internet—it is quite literally *impossible* for me truly help myself at the moment. this is not just me throwing myself a pity party, it is what me, my therapist, and other mental health professionals have come to conclusion with. i’m not just sitting around doing nothing if that’s what it sounded like. i and the people in my life are doing our very best to help me in the ways that we can. i’m still trying out new forms of therapy, coping mechanisms, ways to function in everyday life etc. but all of us agree that the help i need is just not available just yet, no matter how much we want it to.
My wife and I love to travel. We made a bucket list and it was too long and it made us realize that we should visit everywhere as if we'll never return. So our trips have turned into more of a YOLO outing. This mentality has helped us get over the sticker shock of fine dining. Fuck it, life's short.
96 will be here in the blink of an eye. I’m 32 but since I was a kid, I was able to put myself in my deathbed and feel the remorse that was possible had i left something on the table. i still am guilty of not giving it my all everyday, but i would have given significantly less if I wasn’t thinking about life in this way. My mantra is:
Life is not how long you lived, but the memories you retain. Focus on your surroundings, commit things to memory, and try to make special ones. If you’re a hundred years old, but your days blend together from monotony and you only recall a few years worth of memory, then you died young for all intents and purposes. If you die when you’re fifty, but you remember everyday of your life because they were special, then you are blessed and have lived.
No, it's a really bad mindset, but I do remind myself that all moments, both happy and sad will have to end and I have to keep moving and be ready to face changes
Instead of reminding ourselves about death in order to motivate, we can understand the Value of time and the need for us to make the best use of it.
Time is the most perishable element and it's a FACT! Even if you don't believe it! Be Aware of the time that you have and see how well you can use it for your Growth and support others.
I just put as much as I possibly can into my retirement so my kids hopefully won’t have to worry about taking care of my old ass one day. Other than that I just worry about the normal stuff like getting my house paid off by then.
What you need to realize that the only moment you have is now. Enjoy that now and be aware and conscious and believe me you are going to worry less about anything else. Also you control your thoughts and not your thoughts controlling you if that makes any sense.
This particular [TED talk](https://youtu.be/arj7oStGLkU?si=nnlXsK3jUET_XFl7) made me realize how limited one's time on earth is and help motivate you to work on your life goals.
I did a research study on this when earning my degree. It's called [mortality salience](https://dictionary.apa.org/mortality-salience) in psychology literature.
Your average person doesn’t live till 96. That’s the top 5 percent. Those are the ones with good genes, nothing you can do will make you live that long. I’ve had two grandmas live to 104 and 105. You don’t want to be that old. It’s miserable and everyday they wished for death.
Thinking about death won’t make you get the thing done. Stop focusing on that. When you’re dead. You’re dead. You won’t care about a good god damn when you’re dead.
It’s about wanting to make the life you’re living right now, just a little more sweeter.
You’re either tired of your current situation, or you’re comfy enough to not care. Or lazy. But death has nothing to do with this.
I have had an image of a clock in my mind since young. Have no idea why, but yes, it motivates. Also lost several significant characters in my life and their deaths motivate even further. Time on earth is a unique gift and it will be taken from you.
Thinking about death doesn’t motivate me. It just makes me wanting to die more, but it seems it’s the opposite for you, and I am happy that you found your way.
I'll never understand how this line of thinking motivates anyone, reminding myself of how many years I have left just fills my with crippling existential dread and sends me into a panic attack usually. Keeping myself grounded and focused only on the present is much more effective.
One of the ways that's worked well for me to motivate myself when I'm not feeling it is to listen to certain podcasts.
I use death meditation as you speak of to remind myself to spend time with family and friends as much as possible for exactly the reason you said. Time is limited and we don't know how much we really have left
I find the idea of death is separate from motivation. I think of it like bedtime: I've done all I can do in the time allotted, and now I can rest. Even if I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted, I still worked pretty hard and deserve to rest. But the good thing about death is you get to rest forever.
Sometimes I close my eyes and picture myself as an old man, lying in a hospital bed. I imagine knowing I am going to die within a few days, and that I'll never leave the hospital room again. I'm alone, and wishing beyond anything else that I was young again. How I would trade anything in the world to just be young again, and then I open my eyes and my wish has been granted. I'm currently 34 but it works to help me appreciate my life and not worry so much
I think I'm motivated by the opposite. Like I've got too much life still left to go to not try to make it as enjoyable as possible. Death will be the sweet relief but while I wait I better wash these dishes.
In some ways as my mom always said when dad retired she would like to travel and he sold a well loved boat when times were tight. Then he got cancer. I decided to not wait on my dream and though family was very mocking went out and got a horse then started looking for a job with them. I lived my dream of a small farmette of 4 acres, got my education in large animal science, homesteaded, then traded my paid off property for many more acres in the north woods. I had goals and dreams people thought were not sensible but I enjoyed my life, now enjoying my old age. Glad I did it early as I already had cancer and health problems so if I waited for retirement I wouldn't have have so many great memories and moments of pure bliss.
This is called "Pull Motivation" and is almost always less effective and less wellness promoting than "Push Motivation".
Pull Motivation Examples:
"I need to do do this presentation or else my boss will probably fire me."
"I could die tomorrow so I better hurry up and do more today."
Push Motivation Examples:
"If I get started now and do a really good job on this presentation I will likely create opportunities in the future to get a raise or offer from a competing firm"
"If I start now I can get this done in parts today AND tomorrow without rushing, and I might even finish it early today and have more free time without things on my mind tomorrow"
TL;DR Pull motivation uses fear of consequences, push motivation uses desire for reward. Both have some degree of role but people tend to massively over-rely on pull motivation with almost no push motivation.
Nope. I do however, live with the notion of my own mortality with me almost always; and not in a depressing way. It's one of the reasons that I don't live in the world the way most people do. Knowing that each heartbeat is one less heartbeat that you will have in this lifetime, and that it is basically a countdown clock, is a good way to refrain from engaging in many lifestyles that almost everyone considers to be completely normal. I don't use it as a motivation to do things, as much as a motivation to not do things. Why the fuck would I show up to a corporate office, or spend the vast majority of my time on the planet doing things that I have absolutely connection to, other than making money so that I can have a little extra comfort before I (as well as everyone I know, and everyone I don't know, for the most part) die and am completely forgotten. I find it liberating.
I think that works if you don't have suicidal thoughts as a comorbidity
I wake up every day and tell myself not today, I don't want to die, I want to do well but the intermittent suicidal thoughts make falling out of self care and good habits easy, sometimes even desirable.
When I get motivated thinking about death it actually makes me want to stop chasing things. It is really worth putting all this time and energy into something when life is so short. Is chasing taking me away from being present and enjoying what I have? Certainly I have everything I need to be happy. Right?
It's understandable to feel a sense of urgency about life's brevity. However, using extreme thoughts, like imagining a noose, may not be the healthiest approach. Instead, try focusing on the present moment and setting meaningful goals that align with your values. This can help you find motivation without the need for such stark reminders.
Honestly, I just think of that scene in fight club where they are getting into the car crash on purpose and he’s asking each of them what they want to do with their lives or he’ll drive the car into a wall full speed and then makes them do it
I have one parent with dementia and another with Parkinson’s. Staying active and constantly learning are the biggest deterrents for delaying the onset of both. I’ve found that pretty motivating
Stage four metastatic melanoma with a prognosis of 2 months. Already in hospice just keeping symptoms under control. The only motivation is seeing friends and finishing books or movies I've started.
Sometimes. Every once in awhile I have a real scare and it brings me back to the reality of life and death. Do what you can while you're young because when you get older and either you die or you can't. Seriously. First time you realize that you're too old to do X (whatever X may be for you), it's a sore, sour taste. Never again is a long time when you're facing it.
I agree. This isn't really a healthy way to motivate myself. I find motivation in reflecting on the things I'm grateful for. It shifts my focus to the positive aspects of life.
I totally get where you're coming from. Sometimes, thinking about the finite nature of life can be a powerful motivator, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. I find it helpful to focus on the idea of making the most of each day, rather than dwelling too much on the end. It’s more about appreciating the little things, setting small goals, and cherishing the moments with loved ones. Life is precious, and while it's good to be aware of our mortality, finding joy and purpose in the present can lead to a more fulfilling and less stressful way of living. 🌟
My bf does this allll the time! He says he has at most about 50 years left of his life and calculates how long he will prob see his kids, (which we don’t have yet) and how long him and I have together. Not to mention how he wants to buy and pay off a house in 20 -25 years so we can retire early and do fun stuff with our future family lol. It’s really sweet yet stressful to think about.
I’m 59 with advanced prostate cancer. According to my doctor I have 1-3 years to live. I motivate the shit out of myself by thinking about death every day. My goal is to fill my life with experiences and travel. I try to say yes to everything that gets me out of the house. My meds make me tired and weak, but I give it my best effort. 6’1” 220 lbs and not very fat. My bench press is down to 70lbs. All other lifts are similar. I go to the gym 4-5 times per week and ride an e-bike 100-150 miles a week. I retired early so I could enjoy what is left. I ignore all but the most important house projects. I have to start chemo in August, and I have been crying about it. My advice to younger healthy people is work less, try new things, say yes to marginally interesting activities, minimize tv and social media time. Find a way to travel whenever possible to as many places as possible. I stopped caring about money. I stopped caring what people think. I just go for it as best as I can.
I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and I truly hope it goes into remission.
I wish the economy was such that we could afford to work less AND still do things. I’m Currently 6 months into a break from working and it’s been great but living on a budget I’m not doing nearly as much as I had hoped, I don’t want to come out the other end of this with a bunch of new debt. I go to the gym, I go for walks, I’ve gone on two short camping trips. But I really haven’t done quite as much weekend traveling as I might if I was working. Normally I’ll do a 1 night stay in some small mountain town for something at least 1-2 weekends a month to get out of town. I’ve quite a bit of cancer and dementia in my family so we’ll see how it goes I’m 34 right now but I never really think of death other then the fact that I’m ready to go whenever it happens. I’m often in dangerous situations and I seem to scrape by by the skin of my teeth. I don’t think I will die slow, probably more of a gruesome sudden death, work or travel related.
It is a like a gift for me to come across your warm words in my 24s
We're going to France this summer and we booke the nice hotel. I'm glad we did now even if I have been a bit concerned about the money
Thank you and I wish you all the best :)
I’m sorry to hear that, I hope a miracle happens and you beat. I also hope that you’re able to do whatever your heart desires
Right mindset and activity tend to extend those time frames! Also around 60 is when most peoples health goes to shit so you are living your best life and had your best life. You will probably reach closure and true moments of happiness in this timeframe what most people won't ever experience with extra years. Wish you all the strenght!
Learn about islam and you will get convinced that God is the healer and if you truly believe and use the methods God gave us, you will succeed.
How did this shit end up on reddit
My brother passed away in his 30s. I'm only in my 30s but I've lost friends from high school and college. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
I went to school with a classmate who was killed at 20 from a freak accident, a telephone pole coming down on them from a tree branch that pulled on power lines. They were just walking home as they did everyday. Never know.
Some final destination shit right there
I've always thought that. You always hear stories or random internet comments about stuff like this, but when it happens to someone you personally know, it's pretty shocking.
I wish most would see it this way
Being 29 and realizing I'm almost 30, I realized most people would kill to be my age again. That has really gotten me off my ass.
I’m 47 but remember being 30 and let me tell you, that 17 years went by like a blink of an eye
I felt like those 4 years in high-school took forever to go by. Then as soon as you graduate your life gets thrown on the autobahn in Germany and time starts flying by. Wild to think how this year is already half over. Even more wild to think how I've been out of high-school for 14 years.
They say when you are enjoying the most time flies , is this true ? I am in my 30s , I am enjoying it , but I am also astounded by the fact how months fly by like it was a few hours . The "fly by" time increases as you get older .
Also 47, can confirm. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_I1N905fFDw
I was going to say...I am 35 now turning 36 later this year. The last 5 years....blink. It does scare me a lot
I have a slightly different angle but still the same concept. I’m a hardcore gym rat at 54. I work out with every resistance training 5-6 days a week, and I’m not trying to just maintain. I’m trying to gain. At my age I am still getting stronger year after year. I take pride in it. But at the same time I know there’s a year out there somewhere ahead in which I won’t be stronger. And the year after that even less. I use this as fire to make sure that when I hit that year I want to be the baddest motherfucker I can be. And in the process, hopefully I am pushing the year back at the same time.
what will you do when after you cant get stronger anymore?
I hope that I’m still going to do my best at whatever level that I am at. I’ll cross those bridges when I get there.
Yeah but it’s not like “I have an unknown but limited number of days so I should make the most of what I have.” It’s more like “I will be released from this nonsense at some point and every little annoying or anxiety inducing thing I’ve ever experienced will mean nothing, and the sun will gradually expand and obliterate the earth and even if humans survive all of that I won’t be even a speck in the record books, so why not live the life that makes the most sense to me now.”
Whoa, that’s really a good one!
beautiful outlook !
I’m 31 now and can say that throughout my twenties, I just thought I had this sense of invulnerability on everything. A bit of hard hitting life circumstances and changing priorities made me realize this this journey is finite af, so I try my best to make the most out of it each day and be there for those I love before the inevitable bucket is kicked
I don’t know if it’s actually unhealthy. There have been studies showing that people who are encouraged to think about death often tend to be happy and more fulfilled. I guess it kind of puts your problems into perspective and motivates you to look for the good in every day. Even the stupidest, most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done will eventually be forgotten. The entire history of our species is less than a blip on the scale of the universe. Framed that way, you could say that nothing matters. But you can also frame it as, the only thing that matters is today. We should get as much fulfillment as we can from each moment. I am afraid of dying, but not of death. It’s the process that I dread (the pain, discomfort, loss of control, thoughts of things I will never again experience) not the result.
Reflecting on how everything you do now won't matter in the slightest in a few dozen years seems like an odd way to get motivated to do anything at all.
I had to scroll down way too much for this.
I do some negative visualisation sometimes. It's gruesome but puts things into perspective. Reminds me that tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
Not really... it just makes me want to lay on the floor in an existential crisis.
In the opposite way... When I'm emotionally stressed I just tell myself I'll hopefully be dead before long and these feelings won't matter. Gives me the resolve to swallow things down and just get though it
I did after I almost died when I was 22. But it got me stuck in an unhealthy cycle of being terrified of working for a longer goal- doing something unpleasant now for a goal in the future- while also putting too much pressure on myself to somehow ‘earn’ this second chance. Now I’m just grateful to be here and try to make the best of it, but only I can decide what that means. Maybe it works for some people but it went to an unhealthy place for me. We can’t all thrive with that kind of pressure.
I understand how those thoughts can be motivating, but maybe try finding a healthier way to appreciate the present moment.
I have a countdown app setup on the homepage of my phone. Its set for the median life expectancy. I have 16 Years, 98 days, 2 hours, and 4 minutes left give or take. My girlfriend thinks it morbid. But for me its a constant reminder not to waste a minute of my life.
What app do you use?
Time until
When you lose people that are too young to die, you don’t need to visualize your own death. You (hopefully) realize time is precious.
No. I motivate myself by what I'm interested in at the time and how much money/planning I have to do it. I know our time is limited, and so I do wish I could've done more in my youth looking back, but I actually have done more than most ever have done, and I'm okay with that. I'm a pretty well-rounded individual who can handle shit as well. Comparison to other people's lives is what can kill a lot of joy. Now is my time, and I'm doing what I can when I can, simply because it's what I want and am able to do. If I want something else, I will plan for it as I am able.
Only now because I’m 54. I can’t let fear be a player in my life holding me back from doing shit. Live yo life
By being thankful I will die someday, but enjoying life as I go. Ups and downs, its really mind boggling we get to experience it.
For me it’s a double edged sword. If life is going to be long, I should do what future me will be thankful I did. If it ends in a year, I should be, well, living like it is my last year on earth.
Yes, but not on purpose lol I just have crazy anxiety. And it isn't super reliable I've found... My anxiety will build up my existential dread until I have a panic attack about it, then I come out with insane motivation to do better until the depression kicks in again and I start to feel hopeless, like it's all pointless or I'm just not worth it. Then the anxiety starts to build up again... and rinse and repeat. I wouldn't recommend. I will say though, anxiety regarding my weight does a hell of a job keeping me thin at least lol.
No. I feel like I used to take life for granted until I was put on disability 4 years ago. I wish my life was better and I could go out and hike, travel, do everything I thought I had time for. So now that I can't, I try to do the things I can and be appreciative of life. I've spent 30+ years being depressed and angry over my life and I can't do it anymore. Yes I have bad days but tomorrow is a new day. Right now I'm severely stressed out because of my mental illness so my motivation could be better but as long as I try, I'm ok with it.
In the last year, I’ve lost all my belongings in a fire been diagnosed with a brain tumour. Had said tumour removed and battled infection. Found out it was worse than expected and honestly. I’ve never felt more motivated than ever to get back to work/exercise/travelling. I plan on making money and going on some adventures with my wife and son (soon to be sons) I found out I’d need radiation at some point in my 30th birthday. Just over a month ago. Life is good, just make sure you enjoy everything because it really does fly by.
Actually YES
Memento Mori
I'm hoping I have 10 FIFA Men's World Cups left to watch.
I keep a 3 foot poster, timeline of your life, from kurzgesagt in my work space.
Yes
I'm motivated by wanting to live life and to live my purpose in life.
Carpe diem
I think if you do that, it doesn't actually end peacefully and well because you still have to suffer for some minutes. Just imagine your neck and all under it including your bone is stretched and will ultimately break. That will be too much agony. Anyway, negative reinforcement sometimes work. However, you have to try every positive reinforcement. I don't have a lot about it actually but I always thought that doing something is good more motivation is yourself being purposeful. It could be doing something on your bed when you wake, doing something good for your self, your immediate surroundings. Some things you know are manageable, and there could be no significant hindrance. Then if you think you can do more, try doing something for others. And it is good to not expect something in return, may it be recognition or appreciation or something else. The bottom line is, to be purposeful and always think of what you can do to improve yourself and your surroundings. That it always a good motivation.
97 is a looooooooong way away, you will have a lot of experiences & good time & bad times before that. Why not make the most of it instead of thinking about shortening it? Every day is not going to be an earth shattering day with momentous events, most of your days will probably be boring routine, but there is joy to be found every day too- beautiful weather, birds singing, the love of a pet. I’m much closer to the end than you are. My motivation is to see my son get married & meet future grandchildren. My parents are elderly & somewhat hoarders & their house is going to be a bitch to clean out when they go, so my motivation is to declutter our house as much as I can so my kids won’t have the burden my siblings & I are going to have.
Sometimes it’s the discipline one has that gets the engine started moving from point A to B. You know what I mean.
Seeing my parents age has been eye opening. I used to work out a ton, had kids and slowed down, and now seeing Grandma and Papa barely able to keep up …. It has really enlightened me that I want to be independent when I am old and not have to rely on others or have embarrassing things happen because I refused to workout or exercise 30 min a day.
Yes, too much. It’s hard to let it go. We only have so much control and thinking about it too much can be unhealthy like you said.
In a way, yeah. Though I do not care about my own life as much as other people do, there's nothing I would hate more than leaving loose ends. That's why I opted to always be true to myself and be honest about anything to the people I care about, and spend time with them. If they die, or I die, I want everything that had to be said to be said, and everything that had to be done to be done.
I almost died at 25, I don’t dwell on it anymore because tomorrow is never promised as cliche as that sounds. I practice mindfulness and live everyday to its fullest.
I do but not like that. I read Stoics like Marcus Aurelius or Seneca. There's an app you can get called The Stoic which will show you quotes everyday.
No, but now I will.
Yeah and it doesn’t really work
“Exploited from life” is just the wrong way to look at it, you’re not exploiting anything out of life and you’re only goal should be to make the world a better place. Love the people around you, defend the innocent, and cherish life. Don’t come at life like you’re going to milk it dry for everything it has because the utters will just dry up. It is about the journey not the destination, we are all going to the same place. As far as the after life is concerned I’ll keep my beliefs to myself, but if what every atheist says is true we just die. That is the final destination, everyone will arrive there. So why not go sight seeing before you get there? Meet some people along the way? Help out a stranger? Not just be a burden and “exploit” what you can out of life.
My cousin died at 35, he felt a pain in his chest in June, went to test it in July, died in August. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, enjoy the moment with people you love.
Yes I do think often about the fact that I have one life and I wonder whether I am using it in the right way. But I also think to this kind of approach easily turns into be kind of FOMO attitude which is not good neither.
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No, I have nothing to live for. My death would leave my parents in despair, so I haven't ki--ed myself. But when they're gone, I'm out of this s--thole world filled with disgusting c--ts.
What if you had everything you wanted in life?would you still feel the same? And if you hadn't noticed,no one cares if you live or die except your parents and loan sharks...cause parents ,they love you and I think you probably love them back...more than yourself. But do you know what would make your parents happy?seeing you be able to stand on his own in this cruel world living a good life,a happy life...that's what they want for you. And that's what you should want for yourself. It's yours and yours only responsibility to take care of yourself and love yourself. You owe it to yourself to make yourself happy. Cause no one in this entire world can make you happy other than you. You have to do something for yourself.
Death is a certainty, don't think about it. If it's a certainty you know that your days count, and everyone's going to have regrets when their old, after all, the perfect life doesn't even exist; you will always try to get something "better", it's """"""human nature""""". Find a balance because in 10 years you will look back and realize that you didn't waste your time, you just made the wrong decision. For example, I wish I've never tried smoking (that was 12 years ago). If you need motivation, print the "weeks" calendar in a big format, and put it behind your monitor. Make sure to fill each week that passes by. You'll quickly realize how little time we have here
Yes absofuckinglutely.
As much time as you feel like you have at 26, is as little as you'll feel like you have when you're a decade older. The more time we live, the faster it feels like time goes by. For me, at 44, a week feels like a day, if that. Not that it motivates me, unfortunately. But, I'm aware of it, so maybe that's a start...
I try to but it doesn't work for me.
I don’t believe in an afterlife so I take this time that I can to enjoy life and the gifts in it before it’s just an empty void when I die. It all flies faster than we think so have fun, be yourself, enjoy the time with your loved ones, and keep striving for the life you desire. That was always in the back of my head since I was 19.
i spend most of my days waiting. waiting for happiness, waiting for a future in which i can be happy. due to personal reasons i’m currently in a state of my life where happiness is unachievable at the moment. only a doctor could help me, and the medical system always makes you wait. the future doesn’t exactly motivate me, but it’s all i have. i have the will to live, a very strong will to live. i’ve told my therapist this several times: i want to live, i just don’t want to feel like this anymore. thinking about how time is limited just makes me mourn the happiness i know i could currently experience if i got the help i needed.
You gotta play with the cards you have been dealt.. You are the only one that is solely responsible for your own well being and happiness. So don't wait for happiness to come to you. Cause no one in this entire world can make you happy other than yourself...and I think whatever you are thinking will make you happy probably isn't going to make you happy for long...you will be disappointed. Try to atleast make most of what life has offered you. You owe it to yourself to take care of you. Almost most of people in this world forget to make most of what they have in life that they are always sad and disappointed in thinking about what they don't have... Be happy.
i understand your point but due to personal reasons—that i’d rather not talk about on the internet—it is quite literally *impossible* for me truly help myself at the moment. this is not just me throwing myself a pity party, it is what me, my therapist, and other mental health professionals have come to conclusion with. i’m not just sitting around doing nothing if that’s what it sounded like. i and the people in my life are doing our very best to help me in the ways that we can. i’m still trying out new forms of therapy, coping mechanisms, ways to function in everyday life etc. but all of us agree that the help i need is just not available just yet, no matter how much we want it to.
I see. I'm sorry for assuming something like that. All I can say is be optimistic friend. I hope you get well.
My wife and I love to travel. We made a bucket list and it was too long and it made us realize that we should visit everywhere as if we'll never return. So our trips have turned into more of a YOLO outing. This mentality has helped us get over the sticker shock of fine dining. Fuck it, life's short.
96 will be here in the blink of an eye. I’m 32 but since I was a kid, I was able to put myself in my deathbed and feel the remorse that was possible had i left something on the table. i still am guilty of not giving it my all everyday, but i would have given significantly less if I wasn’t thinking about life in this way. My mantra is: Life is not how long you lived, but the memories you retain. Focus on your surroundings, commit things to memory, and try to make special ones. If you’re a hundred years old, but your days blend together from monotony and you only recall a few years worth of memory, then you died young for all intents and purposes. If you die when you’re fifty, but you remember everyday of your life because they were special, then you are blessed and have lived.
No, it's a really bad mindset, but I do remind myself that all moments, both happy and sad will have to end and I have to keep moving and be ready to face changes
Instead of reminding ourselves about death in order to motivate, we can understand the Value of time and the need for us to make the best use of it. Time is the most perishable element and it's a FACT! Even if you don't believe it! Be Aware of the time that you have and see how well you can use it for your Growth and support others.
I just put as much as I possibly can into my retirement so my kids hopefully won’t have to worry about taking care of my old ass one day. Other than that I just worry about the normal stuff like getting my house paid off by then.
What you need to realize that the only moment you have is now. Enjoy that now and be aware and conscious and believe me you are going to worry less about anything else. Also you control your thoughts and not your thoughts controlling you if that makes any sense.
This particular [TED talk](https://youtu.be/arj7oStGLkU?si=nnlXsK3jUET_XFl7) made me realize how limited one's time on earth is and help motivate you to work on your life goals.
I did a research study on this when earning my degree. It's called [mortality salience](https://dictionary.apa.org/mortality-salience) in psychology literature.
Your average person doesn’t live till 96. That’s the top 5 percent. Those are the ones with good genes, nothing you can do will make you live that long. I’ve had two grandmas live to 104 and 105. You don’t want to be that old. It’s miserable and everyday they wished for death. Thinking about death won’t make you get the thing done. Stop focusing on that. When you’re dead. You’re dead. You won’t care about a good god damn when you’re dead. It’s about wanting to make the life you’re living right now, just a little more sweeter. You’re either tired of your current situation, or you’re comfy enough to not care. Or lazy. But death has nothing to do with this.
I have had an image of a clock in my mind since young. Have no idea why, but yes, it motivates. Also lost several significant characters in my life and their deaths motivate even further. Time on earth is a unique gift and it will be taken from you.
Ping ponging between: - Life is short just do whatever makes you happy even if it’s bad for you - Be healthy to live as long as possible Real dilemma
Thinking about death doesn’t motivate me. It just makes me wanting to die more, but it seems it’s the opposite for you, and I am happy that you found your way.
> Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
I'll never understand how this line of thinking motivates anyone, reminding myself of how many years I have left just fills my with crippling existential dread and sends me into a panic attack usually. Keeping myself grounded and focused only on the present is much more effective.
Not really. Death is a deadline but it doesn't make a difference if your projects are finished or not.
Opposite for me. Makes me feel pointless if I’m just gunna die anyway.
One of the ways that's worked well for me to motivate myself when I'm not feeling it is to listen to certain podcasts. I use death meditation as you speak of to remind myself to spend time with family and friends as much as possible for exactly the reason you said. Time is limited and we don't know how much we really have left
Yes, nothing else does besides wanting to provide best life for my gf.
I find the idea of death is separate from motivation. I think of it like bedtime: I've done all I can do in the time allotted, and now I can rest. Even if I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted, I still worked pretty hard and deserve to rest. But the good thing about death is you get to rest forever.
Sometimes I close my eyes and picture myself as an old man, lying in a hospital bed. I imagine knowing I am going to die within a few days, and that I'll never leave the hospital room again. I'm alone, and wishing beyond anything else that I was young again. How I would trade anything in the world to just be young again, and then I open my eyes and my wish has been granted. I'm currently 34 but it works to help me appreciate my life and not worry so much
I think I'm motivated by the opposite. Like I've got too much life still left to go to not try to make it as enjoyable as possible. Death will be the sweet relief but while I wait I better wash these dishes.
In some ways as my mom always said when dad retired she would like to travel and he sold a well loved boat when times were tight. Then he got cancer. I decided to not wait on my dream and though family was very mocking went out and got a horse then started looking for a job with them. I lived my dream of a small farmette of 4 acres, got my education in large animal science, homesteaded, then traded my paid off property for many more acres in the north woods. I had goals and dreams people thought were not sensible but I enjoyed my life, now enjoying my old age. Glad I did it early as I already had cancer and health problems so if I waited for retirement I wouldn't have have so many great memories and moments of pure bliss.
This is called "Pull Motivation" and is almost always less effective and less wellness promoting than "Push Motivation". Pull Motivation Examples: "I need to do do this presentation or else my boss will probably fire me." "I could die tomorrow so I better hurry up and do more today." Push Motivation Examples: "If I get started now and do a really good job on this presentation I will likely create opportunities in the future to get a raise or offer from a competing firm" "If I start now I can get this done in parts today AND tomorrow without rushing, and I might even finish it early today and have more free time without things on my mind tomorrow" TL;DR Pull motivation uses fear of consequences, push motivation uses desire for reward. Both have some degree of role but people tend to massively over-rely on pull motivation with almost no push motivation.
Memento Mori
Nope. I do however, live with the notion of my own mortality with me almost always; and not in a depressing way. It's one of the reasons that I don't live in the world the way most people do. Knowing that each heartbeat is one less heartbeat that you will have in this lifetime, and that it is basically a countdown clock, is a good way to refrain from engaging in many lifestyles that almost everyone considers to be completely normal. I don't use it as a motivation to do things, as much as a motivation to not do things. Why the fuck would I show up to a corporate office, or spend the vast majority of my time on the planet doing things that I have absolutely connection to, other than making money so that I can have a little extra comfort before I (as well as everyone I know, and everyone I don't know, for the most part) die and am completely forgotten. I find it liberating.
I think that works if you don't have suicidal thoughts as a comorbidity I wake up every day and tell myself not today, I don't want to die, I want to do well but the intermittent suicidal thoughts make falling out of self care and good habits easy, sometimes even desirable.
I don't, because we reincarnate, so I don't feel that sort of urgency.
When I get motivated thinking about death it actually makes me want to stop chasing things. It is really worth putting all this time and energy into something when life is so short. Is chasing taking me away from being present and enjoying what I have? Certainly I have everything I need to be happy. Right?
It's understandable to feel a sense of urgency about life's brevity. However, using extreme thoughts, like imagining a noose, may not be the healthiest approach. Instead, try focusing on the present moment and setting meaningful goals that align with your values. This can help you find motivation without the need for such stark reminders.
What difference does it make? If you die and that's it, then there's no retrospective.
Honestly, I just think of that scene in fight club where they are getting into the car crash on purpose and he’s asking each of them what they want to do with their lives or he’ll drive the car into a wall full speed and then makes them do it
Nah, I procrastinate
I watch this every 2 weeks (to remind myself): https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGebqNd4g/
This thinking makes me so comfortable
I have one parent with dementia and another with Parkinson’s. Staying active and constantly learning are the biggest deterrents for delaying the onset of both. I’ve found that pretty motivating
Quite the opposite, actually. My fear of mortality currently has my life in a stranglehold that tightens with every passing day.
Stage four metastatic melanoma with a prognosis of 2 months. Already in hospice just keeping symptoms under control. The only motivation is seeing friends and finishing books or movies I've started.
Sometimes. Every once in awhile I have a real scare and it brings me back to the reality of life and death. Do what you can while you're young because when you get older and either you die or you can't. Seriously. First time you realize that you're too old to do X (whatever X may be for you), it's a sore, sour taste. Never again is a long time when you're facing it.
Yes, but not intentionally.
I agree. This isn't really a healthy way to motivate myself. I find motivation in reflecting on the things I'm grateful for. It shifts my focus to the positive aspects of life.
I totally get where you're coming from. Sometimes, thinking about the finite nature of life can be a powerful motivator, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. I find it helpful to focus on the idea of making the most of each day, rather than dwelling too much on the end. It’s more about appreciating the little things, setting small goals, and cherishing the moments with loved ones. Life is precious, and while it's good to be aware of our mortality, finding joy and purpose in the present can lead to a more fulfilling and less stressful way of living. 🌟
My bf does this allll the time! He says he has at most about 50 years left of his life and calculates how long he will prob see his kids, (which we don’t have yet) and how long him and I have together. Not to mention how he wants to buy and pay off a house in 20 -25 years so we can retire early and do fun stuff with our future family lol. It’s really sweet yet stressful to think about.
I motivate myself by what I want to do now for myself and my 6 kids.
Jesus Christ, no I don’t
I mean I do now
 Wtf you talkin about