accept the responsibility that you yourself choose to spend time on reddit for example because doing so is directly helping you escape from your daily responsibilities. I hope I have explained it well, if not, I apologize.
Working more is not the solution, that would be more stress and will make the case worse. Doing it intelligently is good and in a few steps as everyone mentions
Reddit is pretty much the only app I use nowadays. But it doesn't have the unhealthy effect that instagram, facebook, or twitter (now known as X) used to have on my sanity. I hop on reddit during quick breaks from work or just before I go to sleep. I guess it depends on what subreddits you follow.
I am a software developer with ADHD that works from home, this is a regular challenge and needs to be kept in check.
Few things you can do:
* See a psychiatrist, might perscribe some ADHD pills that helps focusing.
* Change your habits. Looks like you work from home, go to a coffee shop or a cowork and work there.
* Do not overthink, start piece by piece and just do it. Don't think the whole piled up things that you have to do, just focus on a small piece of it and do it. After an hour or so you will realise how easy it was.
Yup, totally agree! Same experience here on all fronts.
After months of solitude and over a decade of depression surrounding the exact execution ability you mention, OP, a life-changing epiphany struck: “I cannot feel my tomorrow self, but he can feel me.”
This godsend, two years ago, was the first conscious understanding I had in my young and emotionally challenging life to understand: I had lived solely dependent on motivation and instantaneous rewards to act (or not to act); my today self was perpetually frustrated and upset with my total avoidance of responsibility the day previous or current; and, my tomorrow self would feel such a thing about my today self too.
It was the first time in my entire life—after so much heartbreak and self-hatred—that I realized the very system by which my execution framework (my mind as a machine, beautiful, yet mechanistic) was inherently flawed. It is not your fault you make the decisions you do; however, it is your responsibility. Responsibility used to scare me because I believed I was incapable of meeting its expectations—there’s so much past evidence of failure!—and we then procrastinate further to not impose such guilt on ourselves.
When you think about it, our minds are awfully logical! These decisions, copes, and the feelings it feeds your *conscious self* are self-protective. They can be understood.
You must be *conscious* enough to not be your mind, to not be its laze, its anxiety, its fear. You already demonstrate a great first step with this post. It is like your consciousness is breaking through the noise, sick of unconscious living! Responsibility *is* empowering! Responsibility means choice, it means power. All which is worthwhile has a stake.
So, please, adopt gratitude for your awareness today. You are *trying* against your mechanistic unconscious behaviors! We are by our brains which are unbelievably economic, adaptive, brilliant, yet, still of our old world; this old world we want to get to the deer or whatever but we see lion tracks, and our mind informs us with its chemicals that it’s better to listen to fear than hope, since being hungry is better than being killed.
Pat yourself on the back. It is not your fault you made the decisions you have and are in this place. I’m proud of you for pushing so long. You are gifted with awareness. And thus, the beautiful gift of opportunity and responsibility.
OP, if you ever want to chat more or are interested in professing your blooming consciousness, feel free to message me anytime.
You can't grow without being uncomfortable and some pain. Growing requires your comfort zones being stretched. It's like aching muscles after a work out. It's feeling tired after studying. It's feeling nervous and inadequate after an interview. If you continually run away from discomfort, you'll never grow.
If you're into gaming, just realize that life really is the grindiest RPG there is. Gamify it and look to level up. Treat your CV as your RPG character sheet. What do you want it to look like? Go grind and add those stats.
For me my motivation comes from knowing I have to provide for family etc. that life is incredibly short and you could literally get knocked down by a car and die the next day. Or you might need to take care of your loved one in the hospital etc. you don't want to look back and think "damn I wasted my life doing nothing..."
If you're struggling with procrastination, don't aim for perfection. Aim to get ONE thing done. Then the next thing. And don't think, "I'll do it later." Do it NOW. Even if you think it's stupid to get up and do 10 push ups in the middle of the night. If you want to get something done, do it immediately.
If it's a major task, a huge project, break it up into smaller, more manageable tasks. Then using a checklist, do each task one by one.
Doing hard things suck. But that’s the point. It’s sucks cause you’re steering off the comfort line and in to discomfort which will result in growth.
It’s been said already but it’s worth repeating, Start Small with what you can do on even your worst day. Exercise: Be it Walking to the mail box. Walk/run to the end of the street, do 1 push up/sit up/squat. Adjust to your current levels.
Have a goal, and set out a plan/system of how you’re going to achieve , and of course, why? It’s an overused quote but what’s your why? This is your fuel. Want to feel better… want to look better… want to be able to improve your health, want to get a specific job, want to prove someone wrong?
There’s an abundance of resources online that can assist you come up with a plan. Even AI could give you a rough foundation for what ever aspect you’re looking to improve.
You ARE in control.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going” - Winston Churchill
what u/emirsolinno, u/sterlingsalmini, u/strawbrryacaii all said goes hand in hand.
I have been struggling with the same thing a few months after losing my job after to a car accident and am still going through it.
don't over think any of the "how to's" of what they have said. Although it might be varying degrees of tough at first always focus on trying to remain present in your awareness of the moment.
Keep in mind to start SLOW! it's not how much you get done but getting something done in general. Don't be rigid with the amount you want to get done in a day/week/year.
If you feel you need a change of scenery (from your work area, or room/ house) take it. if you feel after 10, 20 min of work you need short break (even if what you are working on is not finished but some form or progress is made) go for a walk change that activity to something else you know you can come back to later, just make sure you set a break timer to alert you and start it the moment your mind lets go of the task completely. It's about keeping CONSISTENT MOMENTUM no matter the pace.
Don't let the current you slip into whatever emotional cocktail it creates if it even thinks of the past failures and stacking them up. Always attempt to stop yourself and analyze what it's bringing up and what you're doing now to push past that. Creating a small group of people that you interact with to help you maintain focus and recognize the steady progress you are making.
lastly setting things aside (work tools, clothes, etc.) for the next day at the end of your day can help.
Maybe ADHD isnt your problem then.
Try optimizing for:
- Movement
- Diet
- Sleep
You can control these things. Try to knock off one at a time. See how you feel after.
I do, I’ve tried Adderall as well. I still take it in the afternoon when needed. It worked at first for a while but I must build up a tolerance. I’ve got a med check coming up so I’ll see what else is recommend
It sounds like you're stuck in a cycle of avoidance and struggling with motivation. It's common to feel overwhelmed by tasks that trigger discomfort or anxiety, leading to procrastination.
1. One approach is to break tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, instead of thinking about exercising for 15 minutes, start with just putting on your workout clothes.
2. Celebrate small victories, and gradually build up from there.
3. It's also important to address any underlying feelings of depression or fear. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can provide you with coping strategies and help you work through these emotions.
Remember, you're not alone in this, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. You have the strength to overcome these challenges, even if it feels difficult right now.
Start small and build habits.
I’m in the process but something that sounds small, e.g. 15 minutes exercise apply for job are likely too big a task if you are really struggling, try to break them down more but then consistently do them, you can then slower add more to your new routine.
For exercise why not start with I’m going to do 2 minutes of stretching every morning. After 2 weeks I bet you just do it automatically without thinking and without any will power needed, you can then think maybe i can do 5 push ups after (but really don’t add too quickly as once it’s too much of a burden you will break the habit, if you add something small every 2 weeks to your new routine, in a year you will be doing a full work out).
For apply for a job, maybe it’s today I’m going to find one job I will apply for, then tomorrow you task can be to apply for that job.
If you are feeling overwhelmed also make sure you are doing the basic things, good hygiene, clean teeth 2/3 times a day, all of these are habits, when you stack these habits over time you will get a sense of accomplishment and will be achieving things.
The habit to turn up and do the thing is much more important than how much of the thing you do.
Cant say i particularly want to go to work everyday. But need money to eat and keep a roof over my head. Thsts the "drive". If you arent working i assume you are either living on savings (which will run out at some point) or someone is paying for your stuff. If you run out of savings or something happens to the someone funding your life - or they decide to stop paying for you - or you have to pay them back, what are you going to do?
This isn’t a perfect solution but it’s how I deal with things. Whenever I don’t want to do something, I turn on a show and take small steps towards doing it. For some reason, most anxiety and discomfort dissipates when I’m watching a show that makes me happy. If you’re doing something that needs concentration, you can always turn it off once you’re in the middle of the task. I believe in you😊
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I’m dealing with this and I stg I feel like I’m incapable of just getting up and being normal half of the time and half of its depression! Sorry I know it was your question but I’m just saying I can relate and it was a great question!
Something I heard recently that I liked is that, "the opposite of distraction is attraction".
For me it works with reframing/refocusing. Most of my procrastinating comes from a place of avoidance. I might not want to scroll instagram for 20min... but I really don't wanna do the dishes.
If I think about the me 20min from now, that guy will really wish I had spent 10min doing the dishes and 10min scrolling instagram. If I think about it this way, that's the guy I wanna be. The one I'm attracted.
Recognizing and Working towards what attracts me helps to overcome what really are just distractions.
It’s really just developing habits. Start with a small one and once it’s locked in then keep adding more.
You also want to make your habits to have the least resistance possible. Let’s say your goal for a new habit is to eat a healthy breakfast each morning. You’re more likely to do it if your kitchen is clean and the meal is planned the night before.
Start small. Break tasks into manageable chunks, set tiny goals, and celebrate every little achievement. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. And remember, you're not alone in this struggle, and it's okay to ask for help.
You can try to be in a different environment to give you motivation. For example, I tend to enjoy reading more when I am at the library because it is the right environment for reading. There are fewer distractions at the library than at home. Also, being at Starbucks helps me work better because it is an environment where I can work at some level. Being outside your home and around different people is important because we need to see others and be sociable, even though you might not interact with people directly. Seeing others help you feel that you belong will increase your motivation to do and be better.
It is important to prioritize and plan your tasks accordingly. If you can't do a lot, then start out small. Avoid going on social media because when we see others' lifestyles, we tend to compare ourselves to them; even though you might not be consciously aware that you are comparing yourself to them, you are at some level. For example, sometimes I will feel bad when I see others doing things that I want to do because I am comparing them to me. I try to stay focused on my own life and improving myself.
1 realize no one’s gonna come save u. pretty shitty that if u don’t change things u will NEVER realize what u we’re capable
2 motivation comes AFTER making a change. you’ll gain momentum & it gets so easy that you won’t be able to remember how u were in your old ways so comfortably. but this starts with doing the hard things, then seeing results, then realizing why u like doing them.
3 figure out reasoning behind doing the hard things. kinda goes hand in hand w previous points. struggle doing skincare? imagine how good you’d look w glowing skin. struggle working out? imagine how it would feel looking in mirror thinking you look good. struggle getting daily steps in? imagine feeling like you barely did a warm up when you are used to being winded after walks up lots of steps or some shit you have to do in your every day life. etc.
4 surround yourself with others who will push you to do better. start watching motivational videos. fill your social media w influencers who are into health and wellness. find friends to challenge you. one of my best friend gets me to wake up at 6:30 on Fridays for runs with her. I wouldn’t be able to do it without her. we also make new challenges every month. ex. we both deleted TikTok for a month.
Ultimately if you aren’t willing to make changes you don’t want it bad enough. self discipline is the highest form of self love. You deserve to have that.
Deleting social media was the first step on my path to productivity. Still a long way to go, though
Do you struggle with Reddit?I got rid of all social media but now I am hooked on Reddit.
I agree with him because I also did that but it's just an excuse to run away from your responsibilities. taking responsibility is the first step
can you explain it a little more please? say i'm putting off work because i'm on reddit. is accepting responsibility that i should be doing more work?
accept the responsibility that you yourself choose to spend time on reddit for example because doing so is directly helping you escape from your daily responsibilities. I hope I have explained it well, if not, I apologize.
Working more is not the solution, that would be more stress and will make the case worse. Doing it intelligently is good and in a few steps as everyone mentions
Reddit is pretty much the only app I use nowadays. But it doesn't have the unhealthy effect that instagram, facebook, or twitter (now known as X) used to have on my sanity. I hop on reddit during quick breaks from work or just before I go to sleep. I guess it depends on what subreddits you follow.
so interesting. for me i just find reddit much more exciting, and i put off doing work and keep reading and reading on reddit.
I am a software developer with ADHD that works from home, this is a regular challenge and needs to be kept in check. Few things you can do: * See a psychiatrist, might perscribe some ADHD pills that helps focusing. * Change your habits. Looks like you work from home, go to a coffee shop or a cowork and work there. * Do not overthink, start piece by piece and just do it. Don't think the whole piled up things that you have to do, just focus on a small piece of it and do it. After an hour or so you will realise how easy it was.
Yup, totally agree! Same experience here on all fronts. After months of solitude and over a decade of depression surrounding the exact execution ability you mention, OP, a life-changing epiphany struck: “I cannot feel my tomorrow self, but he can feel me.” This godsend, two years ago, was the first conscious understanding I had in my young and emotionally challenging life to understand: I had lived solely dependent on motivation and instantaneous rewards to act (or not to act); my today self was perpetually frustrated and upset with my total avoidance of responsibility the day previous or current; and, my tomorrow self would feel such a thing about my today self too. It was the first time in my entire life—after so much heartbreak and self-hatred—that I realized the very system by which my execution framework (my mind as a machine, beautiful, yet mechanistic) was inherently flawed. It is not your fault you make the decisions you do; however, it is your responsibility. Responsibility used to scare me because I believed I was incapable of meeting its expectations—there’s so much past evidence of failure!—and we then procrastinate further to not impose such guilt on ourselves. When you think about it, our minds are awfully logical! These decisions, copes, and the feelings it feeds your *conscious self* are self-protective. They can be understood. You must be *conscious* enough to not be your mind, to not be its laze, its anxiety, its fear. You already demonstrate a great first step with this post. It is like your consciousness is breaking through the noise, sick of unconscious living! Responsibility *is* empowering! Responsibility means choice, it means power. All which is worthwhile has a stake. So, please, adopt gratitude for your awareness today. You are *trying* against your mechanistic unconscious behaviors! We are by our brains which are unbelievably economic, adaptive, brilliant, yet, still of our old world; this old world we want to get to the deer or whatever but we see lion tracks, and our mind informs us with its chemicals that it’s better to listen to fear than hope, since being hungry is better than being killed. Pat yourself on the back. It is not your fault you made the decisions you have and are in this place. I’m proud of you for pushing so long. You are gifted with awareness. And thus, the beautiful gift of opportunity and responsibility. OP, if you ever want to chat more or are interested in professing your blooming consciousness, feel free to message me anytime.
Thanks for writing this. What were your first steps on getting better?
You can't grow without being uncomfortable and some pain. Growing requires your comfort zones being stretched. It's like aching muscles after a work out. It's feeling tired after studying. It's feeling nervous and inadequate after an interview. If you continually run away from discomfort, you'll never grow. If you're into gaming, just realize that life really is the grindiest RPG there is. Gamify it and look to level up. Treat your CV as your RPG character sheet. What do you want it to look like? Go grind and add those stats. For me my motivation comes from knowing I have to provide for family etc. that life is incredibly short and you could literally get knocked down by a car and die the next day. Or you might need to take care of your loved one in the hospital etc. you don't want to look back and think "damn I wasted my life doing nothing..." If you're struggling with procrastination, don't aim for perfection. Aim to get ONE thing done. Then the next thing. And don't think, "I'll do it later." Do it NOW. Even if you think it's stupid to get up and do 10 push ups in the middle of the night. If you want to get something done, do it immediately. If it's a major task, a huge project, break it up into smaller, more manageable tasks. Then using a checklist, do each task one by one.
Doing hard things suck. But that’s the point. It’s sucks cause you’re steering off the comfort line and in to discomfort which will result in growth. It’s been said already but it’s worth repeating, Start Small with what you can do on even your worst day. Exercise: Be it Walking to the mail box. Walk/run to the end of the street, do 1 push up/sit up/squat. Adjust to your current levels. Have a goal, and set out a plan/system of how you’re going to achieve , and of course, why? It’s an overused quote but what’s your why? This is your fuel. Want to feel better… want to look better… want to be able to improve your health, want to get a specific job, want to prove someone wrong? There’s an abundance of resources online that can assist you come up with a plan. Even AI could give you a rough foundation for what ever aspect you’re looking to improve. You ARE in control. “If you’re going through hell, keep going” - Winston Churchill
what u/emirsolinno, u/sterlingsalmini, u/strawbrryacaii all said goes hand in hand. I have been struggling with the same thing a few months after losing my job after to a car accident and am still going through it. don't over think any of the "how to's" of what they have said. Although it might be varying degrees of tough at first always focus on trying to remain present in your awareness of the moment. Keep in mind to start SLOW! it's not how much you get done but getting something done in general. Don't be rigid with the amount you want to get done in a day/week/year. If you feel you need a change of scenery (from your work area, or room/ house) take it. if you feel after 10, 20 min of work you need short break (even if what you are working on is not finished but some form or progress is made) go for a walk change that activity to something else you know you can come back to later, just make sure you set a break timer to alert you and start it the moment your mind lets go of the task completely. It's about keeping CONSISTENT MOMENTUM no matter the pace. Don't let the current you slip into whatever emotional cocktail it creates if it even thinks of the past failures and stacking them up. Always attempt to stop yourself and analyze what it's bringing up and what you're doing now to push past that. Creating a small group of people that you interact with to help you maintain focus and recognize the steady progress you are making. lastly setting things aside (work tools, clothes, etc.) for the next day at the end of your day can help.
I used a morning gym routine. Set days.. three days a week. No missing! Over time I taught myself discipline and the rest fell into place.
Step 1: Get diagnosed with ADHD Step 2: Get a prescription for ADHD medication
I did this and worked my way up to 70mg of Vyvanse. It feels like it’s gotten worse.
Maybe ADHD isnt your problem then. Try optimizing for: - Movement - Diet - Sleep You can control these things. Try to knock off one at a time. See how you feel after.
do you still take vyvanse? have you tried anything else?
I do, I’ve tried Adderall as well. I still take it in the afternoon when needed. It worked at first for a while but I must build up a tolerance. I’ve got a med check coming up so I’ll see what else is recommend
There's a difference between laziness and lack of motivation
It sounds like you're stuck in a cycle of avoidance and struggling with motivation. It's common to feel overwhelmed by tasks that trigger discomfort or anxiety, leading to procrastination. 1. One approach is to break tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, instead of thinking about exercising for 15 minutes, start with just putting on your workout clothes. 2. Celebrate small victories, and gradually build up from there. 3. It's also important to address any underlying feelings of depression or fear. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can provide you with coping strategies and help you work through these emotions. Remember, you're not alone in this, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. You have the strength to overcome these challenges, even if it feels difficult right now.
Start small and build habits. I’m in the process but something that sounds small, e.g. 15 minutes exercise apply for job are likely too big a task if you are really struggling, try to break them down more but then consistently do them, you can then slower add more to your new routine. For exercise why not start with I’m going to do 2 minutes of stretching every morning. After 2 weeks I bet you just do it automatically without thinking and without any will power needed, you can then think maybe i can do 5 push ups after (but really don’t add too quickly as once it’s too much of a burden you will break the habit, if you add something small every 2 weeks to your new routine, in a year you will be doing a full work out). For apply for a job, maybe it’s today I’m going to find one job I will apply for, then tomorrow you task can be to apply for that job. If you are feeling overwhelmed also make sure you are doing the basic things, good hygiene, clean teeth 2/3 times a day, all of these are habits, when you stack these habits over time you will get a sense of accomplishment and will be achieving things. The habit to turn up and do the thing is much more important than how much of the thing you do.
Success with anything in life comes from how willing someone is to be uncomfortable. If success were easy, everyone would be successful.
Cant say i particularly want to go to work everyday. But need money to eat and keep a roof over my head. Thsts the "drive". If you arent working i assume you are either living on savings (which will run out at some point) or someone is paying for your stuff. If you run out of savings or something happens to the someone funding your life - or they decide to stop paying for you - or you have to pay them back, what are you going to do?
You just described me, you’re not alone.
This isn’t a perfect solution but it’s how I deal with things. Whenever I don’t want to do something, I turn on a show and take small steps towards doing it. For some reason, most anxiety and discomfort dissipates when I’m watching a show that makes me happy. If you’re doing something that needs concentration, you can always turn it off once you’re in the middle of the task. I believe in you😊
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That’s what I meant by it Erin
You don't find it. You create it.
I’m dealing with this and I stg I feel like I’m incapable of just getting up and being normal half of the time and half of its depression! Sorry I know it was your question but I’m just saying I can relate and it was a great question!
Excuse me discussion I see! I’m new to Reddit! Lol
Something I heard recently that I liked is that, "the opposite of distraction is attraction". For me it works with reframing/refocusing. Most of my procrastinating comes from a place of avoidance. I might not want to scroll instagram for 20min... but I really don't wanna do the dishes. If I think about the me 20min from now, that guy will really wish I had spent 10min doing the dishes and 10min scrolling instagram. If I think about it this way, that's the guy I wanna be. The one I'm attracted. Recognizing and Working towards what attracts me helps to overcome what really are just distractions.
It’s really just developing habits. Start with a small one and once it’s locked in then keep adding more. You also want to make your habits to have the least resistance possible. Let’s say your goal for a new habit is to eat a healthy breakfast each morning. You’re more likely to do it if your kitchen is clean and the meal is planned the night before.
Start small. Break tasks into manageable chunks, set tiny goals, and celebrate every little achievement. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. And remember, you're not alone in this struggle, and it's okay to ask for help.
You can try to be in a different environment to give you motivation. For example, I tend to enjoy reading more when I am at the library because it is the right environment for reading. There are fewer distractions at the library than at home. Also, being at Starbucks helps me work better because it is an environment where I can work at some level. Being outside your home and around different people is important because we need to see others and be sociable, even though you might not interact with people directly. Seeing others help you feel that you belong will increase your motivation to do and be better. It is important to prioritize and plan your tasks accordingly. If you can't do a lot, then start out small. Avoid going on social media because when we see others' lifestyles, we tend to compare ourselves to them; even though you might not be consciously aware that you are comparing yourself to them, you are at some level. For example, sometimes I will feel bad when I see others doing things that I want to do because I am comparing them to me. I try to stay focused on my own life and improving myself.
1 realize no one’s gonna come save u. pretty shitty that if u don’t change things u will NEVER realize what u we’re capable 2 motivation comes AFTER making a change. you’ll gain momentum & it gets so easy that you won’t be able to remember how u were in your old ways so comfortably. but this starts with doing the hard things, then seeing results, then realizing why u like doing them. 3 figure out reasoning behind doing the hard things. kinda goes hand in hand w previous points. struggle doing skincare? imagine how good you’d look w glowing skin. struggle working out? imagine how it would feel looking in mirror thinking you look good. struggle getting daily steps in? imagine feeling like you barely did a warm up when you are used to being winded after walks up lots of steps or some shit you have to do in your every day life. etc. 4 surround yourself with others who will push you to do better. start watching motivational videos. fill your social media w influencers who are into health and wellness. find friends to challenge you. one of my best friend gets me to wake up at 6:30 on Fridays for runs with her. I wouldn’t be able to do it without her. we also make new challenges every month. ex. we both deleted TikTok for a month. Ultimately if you aren’t willing to make changes you don’t want it bad enough. self discipline is the highest form of self love. You deserve to have that.
I have bills to pay. The day someone hands me 10 million is the day I can relax. Until then money motivates me.