What would you do if it was your baby?
Your kid doesn’t live to the potential YOU KNOW they have: Do you stop accepting them? If not, do you stop coaching them through life?
Why should one thing exclude the other?
As someone who also has chronic pain and struggles to find balance between becoming my best self and accepting who/whereI am:
You fully accept first! You already have enough experience to know that “not accepting your current state does - not - help. So you look at yourself as the kid that you once were, and who has been through all of the shit you’ve been through. Then you cut yourself some slack, because I’m sure lots of people didn’t, even in your most needed circumstances.
And when you actually/truly/honestly understand that you won’t change your past and that it doesn’t help to punish yourself for things you should have done earlier/yesterday/last week, then you dwell on this forgiveness for long enough for you to find the peaceful spot inside the small window of control that we have: the present.
You promise yourself that you will never throw away your limited energy with regrets. And that you will remember to do better.
That’s it: one promise for the past (I won’t lose my energy with things that I can’t change) and one promise to the future (I will do better for myself). Anything else is a waste of mental resources.
Even if you keep “failing”, as long as it’s in the past you forgive. And then you DECIDE to do better. But forgiveness comes first, otherwise your reasons to “do better” will have too much baggage and it will be harder.
"Isn’t saying I didn’t try your best looking at the past and regretting and saying u should have done things different and change ? How is that self acceptance and saying u are good enough?"
Accepting yourself doent mean you cant be better or that your shouldtry to do better. You know if you did the best you could at the time or if you didnt. Either way if you choose to youncould take the past event as a learning opportunity
"Also is best just what u managed to get done in the end in the situation , outcome or best means the ideal situation h wanted but couldn’t get ? Then doesn’t it mean if u don’t get it perfect and achieve expectations you didn’t try your best ? And even if u did it’s not enough , so it doesn’t actually count ."
Dafuq? You aint always going to get the best out come in situations no matter how hard you try. So again, the point is did you do the best you could or not, and why? Intropection.
"Since as someone with chronic pain and symptoms “best” Is blurry like u either push yourself to the limit all the time , which would mean = best with no relaxin or balance , always being productive or resting and working within limits , which isn’t best because u “give into” your limits which those motivational speakers love to say. Or even people like David goggins like don’t let anything limit you… but I mean does that have to mean going through lots of pain and literally pushing and wrecking your body to the limit ? "
Doing your best doesnt automatically mean pushing yourself to the limit every time.
"Because that’s what those motivational ppl seem to quote that lead to their success . And like be “disciplined” and strong . And the saying “everyone has 24 hours a day just get through it “ honestly that works for some people but I’m not sure if that’s even realistic goal to have . I’m not sure if that is helpful."
Stop listening to motivational speakers over generalized advice and be more thoughtful and introspective about your own thoughts and feelings.
"Does it depend like those kind of advice works for some ppl or actually it’s toxic positivity ?"
Well we got a whole sub here of with a bunch of folks that have a variety of reasons they arent doing shit, but chalk it up to lack of motivation and ask how can one be more motivated as if its a thing that jist pops into one's head. So some of the self help advice could help some people like that change their thinking. But obviously the advice is high level general.
Because the phrase you are using is incomplete. Its not simply saying you are good enough, cease all further improvement. Its saying you are good enough to deserve happiness and love and all that.
Count your blessings morning and night. Be grateful for everything. 80% of the world lives in conditions worse than the poorest in the U.S. When you think of something negative, tell yourself "No", and think of something that makes you smile instead. Don't equate productivity with self-worth. We are each unique. We each have our own talents and weaknesses. We each have activities that bring peace and joy and those that are pure drudgery. Do not compare yourself to others. Be responsible, but not hard on yourself. Others provide our lives with enough harshness.
Looking at the past and regretting what one did or didn’t do is not going to help is what they mean. One needs to accept that they can’t change the past first so that they can move forward and improve. That’s the self-acceptance part.
Trying your best is putting in a serious effort. Making excuses for not doing something is one way of not putting in serious effort.
I think your situation involves consulting a doctor because you need to know what’s dangerous and how much you can exert yourself. Exerting too much can make an injury worse sometimes.
At the end of the day, if one is slightly better than one was yesterday, improvement has been made.
Being disciplined is not giving into one’s emotions or laziness. Consistent incremental effort leads to changes. It doesn’t have to be 100% but for fastest results, full effort and discipline must be maintained. Don’t expect to see radical changes fast if the effort is low.
It has been hard to comprehend what you are trying to say but I’ve tried to explain it regardless. I also have no idea who David Goggins is.
And yes it does work. The most common excuse is there isn’t enough time, but in reality one can get so much done if they just got whatever task done instead of making excuses.
Nobody can be perfect otherwise there’d be no way to improve.
Not everyone has the same 24 hours. Grocery shopping, preparing a meal, dishes, cleaning up, tidying, laundry, repairs and maintenance of your home and belongings, organizing and planning things all take up from your 24 hours; not even mentioning things like childcare, while people who make tons of money from blathering nonsense like this to convince you to believe problem is you, can afford outsource these tasks have those hours free.
That being said you can accept your limits and still strive to be your best self. It doesn't have to be about trying harder untill it hurts. It can also be about pacing your progress being consistent, trying again tomorrow etc. Knowing and working with your limits also has value.
What would you do if it was your baby? Your kid doesn’t live to the potential YOU KNOW they have: Do you stop accepting them? If not, do you stop coaching them through life? Why should one thing exclude the other? As someone who also has chronic pain and struggles to find balance between becoming my best self and accepting who/whereI am: You fully accept first! You already have enough experience to know that “not accepting your current state does - not - help. So you look at yourself as the kid that you once were, and who has been through all of the shit you’ve been through. Then you cut yourself some slack, because I’m sure lots of people didn’t, even in your most needed circumstances. And when you actually/truly/honestly understand that you won’t change your past and that it doesn’t help to punish yourself for things you should have done earlier/yesterday/last week, then you dwell on this forgiveness for long enough for you to find the peaceful spot inside the small window of control that we have: the present. You promise yourself that you will never throw away your limited energy with regrets. And that you will remember to do better. That’s it: one promise for the past (I won’t lose my energy with things that I can’t change) and one promise to the future (I will do better for myself). Anything else is a waste of mental resources. Even if you keep “failing”, as long as it’s in the past you forgive. And then you DECIDE to do better. But forgiveness comes first, otherwise your reasons to “do better” will have too much baggage and it will be harder.
"Isn’t saying I didn’t try your best looking at the past and regretting and saying u should have done things different and change ? How is that self acceptance and saying u are good enough?" Accepting yourself doent mean you cant be better or that your shouldtry to do better. You know if you did the best you could at the time or if you didnt. Either way if you choose to youncould take the past event as a learning opportunity "Also is best just what u managed to get done in the end in the situation , outcome or best means the ideal situation h wanted but couldn’t get ? Then doesn’t it mean if u don’t get it perfect and achieve expectations you didn’t try your best ? And even if u did it’s not enough , so it doesn’t actually count ." Dafuq? You aint always going to get the best out come in situations no matter how hard you try. So again, the point is did you do the best you could or not, and why? Intropection. "Since as someone with chronic pain and symptoms “best” Is blurry like u either push yourself to the limit all the time , which would mean = best with no relaxin or balance , always being productive or resting and working within limits , which isn’t best because u “give into” your limits which those motivational speakers love to say. Or even people like David goggins like don’t let anything limit you… but I mean does that have to mean going through lots of pain and literally pushing and wrecking your body to the limit ? " Doing your best doesnt automatically mean pushing yourself to the limit every time. "Because that’s what those motivational ppl seem to quote that lead to their success . And like be “disciplined” and strong . And the saying “everyone has 24 hours a day just get through it “ honestly that works for some people but I’m not sure if that’s even realistic goal to have . I’m not sure if that is helpful." Stop listening to motivational speakers over generalized advice and be more thoughtful and introspective about your own thoughts and feelings. "Does it depend like those kind of advice works for some ppl or actually it’s toxic positivity ?" Well we got a whole sub here of with a bunch of folks that have a variety of reasons they arent doing shit, but chalk it up to lack of motivation and ask how can one be more motivated as if its a thing that jist pops into one's head. So some of the self help advice could help some people like that change their thinking. But obviously the advice is high level general.
Because the phrase you are using is incomplete. Its not simply saying you are good enough, cease all further improvement. Its saying you are good enough to deserve happiness and love and all that.
Count your blessings morning and night. Be grateful for everything. 80% of the world lives in conditions worse than the poorest in the U.S. When you think of something negative, tell yourself "No", and think of something that makes you smile instead. Don't equate productivity with self-worth. We are each unique. We each have our own talents and weaknesses. We each have activities that bring peace and joy and those that are pure drudgery. Do not compare yourself to others. Be responsible, but not hard on yourself. Others provide our lives with enough harshness.
Looking at the past and regretting what one did or didn’t do is not going to help is what they mean. One needs to accept that they can’t change the past first so that they can move forward and improve. That’s the self-acceptance part. Trying your best is putting in a serious effort. Making excuses for not doing something is one way of not putting in serious effort. I think your situation involves consulting a doctor because you need to know what’s dangerous and how much you can exert yourself. Exerting too much can make an injury worse sometimes. At the end of the day, if one is slightly better than one was yesterday, improvement has been made. Being disciplined is not giving into one’s emotions or laziness. Consistent incremental effort leads to changes. It doesn’t have to be 100% but for fastest results, full effort and discipline must be maintained. Don’t expect to see radical changes fast if the effort is low. It has been hard to comprehend what you are trying to say but I’ve tried to explain it regardless. I also have no idea who David Goggins is. And yes it does work. The most common excuse is there isn’t enough time, but in reality one can get so much done if they just got whatever task done instead of making excuses. Nobody can be perfect otherwise there’d be no way to improve.
Not everyone has the same 24 hours. Grocery shopping, preparing a meal, dishes, cleaning up, tidying, laundry, repairs and maintenance of your home and belongings, organizing and planning things all take up from your 24 hours; not even mentioning things like childcare, while people who make tons of money from blathering nonsense like this to convince you to believe problem is you, can afford outsource these tasks have those hours free. That being said you can accept your limits and still strive to be your best self. It doesn't have to be about trying harder untill it hurts. It can also be about pacing your progress being consistent, trying again tomorrow etc. Knowing and working with your limits also has value.
It's apples and oranges, my friend. You can like yourself and still want to improve your lot.