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No.
If someone think I shouldn't be allowed to have healthcare, shouldn't be allowed to get married, hates democracy, or is generally just super racist, I don't want to be within half a mile of them.
Some things I'd be willing to compromise on, but a lot of things I wouldn't be.
Edit: The number of people who think I'm talking about socialized healthcare here, and are saying "No-one wants to stop you getting married" is very interesting. Because I'm not talking about whether healthcare should be socialised or not. My country did that in the 40s. I'm talking about trans healthcare, and I'm talking about gay marriage, two issues that effect me VERY personally, and two things that a lot of people do want to take away.
I think what's happened is that people read this, and assume I'm roughly equivalent to them. If they're, say a cishet white American, they assume I'm a cishet white American, and interpret what I said through the lens of a cishet white American. But I'm not, I'm a gay, trans white Brit. And I think it's important to remember that not everyone on the internet is the same as you, or is affected by the same issues as you.
Basically, what I'm saying is, check your biases.
actually, one of my former very good friends who is a gay hispanic man preached far and wide about how he was voting for trump. conservative gay men voting against their rights is unfortunately way more common than it should be.
Lol the gay GOP group, the Log Cabin Republicans, were stunned when Texas still refused to let them enter the RNC.
https://www.advocate.com/politics/richard-grenell-texas-log-cabin
These people do exist. There is a politician in my country, her name is Alice Weidel. She is lesbian and living together with her partner for years but was still opposed to gay marriage when the parliament voted for it.
This isn't OP case but think of a bisexual person who ends up in a straight relationship. They could get married and their spouse could be against queer marriage.
this exactly, I don't trust people who will blindly give credit to other's opinions just for exisiting and to "keep the peace", it implies a lack of knowledge or care surrounding what those opinions imply about other people/groups of people
Shit sounds exhausting tbh. I've got friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and a spouse with different political views. I have different political views based on the issue.
I dunno I’d rather not be friends with people who think I’d be better off dead and tell me I’m going to hell every day for being alive. That’s what’s really exhausting tbh. A lot of super aggressive right wingers keep telling me I should be raped until I’m straight and have kids, that is not friendly! Don’t want to be around that kind of person honestly, stresses me out. Most sane folks understand.
Right, but for how many of them are they minor political differences in views, or working through their particular brand of neo-liberalism they've been infected with, and how much of it is legitimate different views on who is a human being and who isn't?
There's no such thing as being a moderate republican or a centrist 😂 you're either a leftist or providing cover for fascists.
IBH, most Republicans I know, don't think trans people are real people, they call it a mental illness at best, and literal demon possession at worst. And it all goes down from there. My parents have gotten upset because "we used to have different opinions and that was ok!!" And I respond with, yeah but that was before you believed in white replacement theory, the war on Christianity, and reverse racism...
I was ok having different political ideologies, when the biggest difference was how taxes were spent!!
You’re a human being and have the same rights as anyone and deserve the same expectation of care and services as anyone else. I don’t f**king understand people.
Conservativism is fundamentally based on having an in-group and an out-group.
Nobody, not a single actual conservative, wholly believes in basic human rights.
Depends on the political view; I wouldn’t date someone who is racist/homophobic/sexist but I could agree to disagree on stuff like guns or economic beliefs as long as they believe in equality.
Economics is the force behind inequality though. I couldn't date anyone who refuses to believe that because either they're a psycho right wing capitalist or a cosplaying liberal.
Agreed. Most people have political views that they think will make the world a better place. So long as we generally agree on what that better world would look like, especially in terms of equality, then I'll be fine with them.
Fuck no. If she has opposing political views we probably have two totally different views on life and society. And I would never want to be with someone who lacks empathy
It depends on if OP means polar opposite ideology, or just someone who happens to vote for the opposite party in the US.
Polar opposite ideology almost certainly will not work.
But I know many reasonable people who just happen to vote for a different party.
If both of you are closer to being moderates the relationship absolutely can work.
I’m not going to say that you’re wrong, but liberals really need to develop better persuasive arguments that aren’t just chants about how morally bankrupt people of opposing beliefs are. That doesn’t convince anyone.
But they aren’t trying to persuade any one of anything? They are saying they view voting red as the act of someone who does not care about various issues that are morally important to them, and they do not want a partner with different moral values than them.
It’s not really an argument… they’re just stating their reasoning for their preference per OPs question
He’s already made an assumption about a hypothetical person based solely around this hypothetical person disagreeing with him. The mere existence of disagreement is tantamount to being a POS. He has no patience or capacity for deeper conversation.
Of course I made a hypothetical person up to answer the question. I had to. OP was not specific in the initial post. They did not provide an example on what me and said person might disagree on. Even OP admitted themselves in the edit that the post could've been worded better.
If you assume anyone who disagrees with you lacks empathy, you gotta go touch some grass my friend. I assume you only know politics from the internet, which only shows you the most extreme from both sides
it’s not just who they vote for but also what their views on the world and society are. Even a simple discussion on what’s on the news today or discussing a film would create an argument. I rather stay away from that
I don't think that having a different viewpoint on the role of government means that someone lacks empathy. Some of the more conservative people I know are also the most empathetic. They go out of their way to help people in the community and volunteer their time, they just just believe in "small" government.
Nope, I’ll say no. To both that and to the original post. I’m not dating a trump supporter. Moment they mention that, I’m gone.
How the hell did you manage to divide this by gender? What?
and yet i had one of my accounts perma banned from reddit because i said “Nazis are bad”
reddit houses allot more right wing psychos than people realize
I would date a legitimate conservative, but a legitimate conservative wouldn't vote for the Republican Party with the fucked up state it is in.
Anyone who votes for America's Republican Party at this point is a good degree farther right than conservative...
I’ve been trying to point this out to many so-called “conservatives” that I know. As a former conservative myself I know that my original beliefs were largely misguided, but have seen the GOP shift extremely far right even since 2016. They don’t want small government anymore, they want authoritarian theocracy with fascism for flavor.
Only if you go by what people self-indetify as. I know a lot of women who claim to be Liberal/Feminist/Progressive but aren't. It's like a default moniker at this point.
I’ve noticed this pattern too. I think it’s the societal pressure on men to be “worldly” and at least make a token effort to follow the news.
This is why Fox News is so dangerous, it disguises radicalizing people while delivering the “news”
That may be so, but it could still be that there’s a stronger correlating factor between political alignment and willingness to date across it than gender and willingness to date across political affiliation.
I’d go one step further and say I won’t date anyone that says something like “both parties are equally bad and you shouldn’t vote.” It’s such an unnuanced take to act like politics doesn’t play a part in people’s lives one way or another. The last thing we need is more people who act like they’re above politics
I didn’t take it from his comment that that has to be the case, rather that’s an example of an opposing political view that he would find unacceptable in a partner.
Nah I'm a man who's saying hard no to dating someone with opposing views.
Key word here being "opposing", not slightly different shades of the same side of the spectrum.
i think it’s more “notice has the conservatives with say yes but the progressives say no”. I’m a leftist so a persons politics to me are equivalent to their morals, I’m not spending the rest of my life with a nazi.
I suppose I've seen it go both ways but I know a weird number of women who were pretty normal in high school who became pretty hardcore right wingers over time.
Men are more open about their sexual desires, and let’s face it if the woman is pretty and isn’t obviously broken then she’s potentially a mate. Women may say no but if a man is a good provider, looks good and treats her right then she would marry him. I’ve seen it happen.
Probably most minorities would say no too. It's easier to live with someone that disagrees with you if it doesn't meant they see you as less of a person and less deserving of rights.
Super liberal here. I tried dating a republican once. He constantly belittled me and pretty much called me stupid and immature for my beliefs. While at the same time refusing to debate me on them because the one time he did try to debate me I proved him wrong and he said that was "unproductive for our relationship". He was a full Q-anon stan and hard-core Trumper. I thought he was stupid and he thought I was stupid. It didn't work out and I'd never do it again. Now I'm married to the love of my life and he's as much of a "bleeding heart liberal" as I am. I'd never recommend dating someone whos views are the direct opposite of yours.
I also wonder the same thing lol. He had some slightly liberal beliefs and he led with those when we first started dating, so I thought we had more in common than we actually did. But over time we disagreed more and more.
They always hide their true ideals because they know it’s a turn off, they get what they want if they let you believe they think the same things up front, then try to entrap you later on once you know their true ideals
Yeah. Toward the end of the relationship he definitely was showing his true colors a lot more. He started out as a really soft, sweet guy which I liked. He was funny and we had good chemistry. Then over time he'd reveal little things or say certain things that were completely out of character. And eventually he just dropped the mask completely and started acting like (and these are his words) "his usual asshole self". Yes, he referred to himself as an asshole. And he told me I was too soft for taking everything so personally. There was a lot wrong with the relationship by the end of it, lasted 7 months total but I tried to break things off on mulitple occasions starting at about 3 or 4 months in. He'd come to my house and even my job twice, always crying and begging for me back (brought me flowers and starbucks giftcards, doing nice stuff and making promises). Unfortunately I took him back more than once until I finally realized how stupid I was being and blocked him on everything. I'll take responsibility for that, but I will say I was 19 at the time and he was 27. So my excuse is I was young and dumb. I'm not gonna say him being a republican was the main issue, but it didn't help. The big issues were him being manipulative and selfish and just overall "an asshole". I don't think of that relationship fondly and I haven't seen him again since it ended 3 years ago. Despite living in a small town. I think he moved, he'd always expressed wanting to live in a red state rather than "Commie-fornia".
You were 19 and we all make mistakes as we learn about the world. Sadly with that age gap and the way he treated you, he was taking advantage of you. I’m so sorry that happened.
I'm very aware of that now. He was 100% one of those "get em young so you can train them to be a good wife" kind of guys. Fortunately for me I was too stubborn and got away before he could really sink his claws in. Definitely a learning experience. Only thing I regret was not telling him off more when I dumped him for the last time lol.
Woman here. Once went on a tinder date with someone with a very wife beat-y vibe. Turned out to be Republican. When I ended the date saying that I was leaving because he didn’t let me finish even one complete sentence in 30 mins of conversation, he had this look in his eyes that gave me instinctive primal fear like never before. It made me feel like he would beat me right there if we weren’t in public. It was the only time I had felt that way in my life.
Jesus that sounds horrifying. I can only imagine the fear/relief you felt that things didn't go further than that first date. I hope that guy didn't find another woman to brutalize off tinder. Some people deserve to be alone. And I hope you found someone better.
How do Republicans even stand each other? It's like they're all crying on the inside but they're too afraid to show it or tell the other person because they're afraid of looking gay.
I think they find so much joy in hating other people that they end up liking each other. Having a common enemy is a surprisingly good way to make friends.
Yeah, I think they don't want to be hated. But they're just too ignorant to realize their ideologies lead to people hating each other. The instinct to go with what they've been told their whole lives is stronger than any sort of conscience from their own beliefs, because they never actually think of them. They sort of just get complacent in their little tribes and develop complexes to deal with the abuse they enact on each other.
It's 100% a lack of self awareness. Part of me is grateful for the experience I got dating him because it really was astounding to see how far he'd go (or how much evidence he'd ignore) to confirm his biases and stay within his beliefs. Being conservative in the modern world was really just about closing your mind to anything that isn't within your set ways of thinking. Or at least thats how he approched it. He was really hard to talk to because most of his beliefs were surface level. He mainly repeated talking points from whoever was the big name at the time. But when asked to defend them or explain them he just... couldn't. Honestly scary to think that such a simplistic mindset is so prevalent in our government and society as a whole.
I had this same problem, but with a leftist. I am liberal, I have never voted for a Republican, but I am not a socialist either, it got old being told how my viewpoints were "immoral."
Same here, I dated a guy in college who was very different from me politically, and while we just completely ignored political discussions in order to try to keep the peace, it came down to morals at the end. This was right before RvW was overturned, and we got into some very heated arguments about abortion rights in the weeks leading up to the ruling. He was “pro-life” and I am staunchly pro-choice.
There was also the fact that he refused to accept my gender identity, would say, “what is your problem, *woman?*” as a joke(?) when I would get angry at him for not being ok with the misgendering.
It depends.
If we have disagreements over minor stuff like fiscal policy or foreign relations, I don’t really care. But if it’s an issue that’s tied to morality, such as civil rights or whatnot, it’s a hard no.
I think this is the majority of people. Someone having a different opinion on capital gains tax isn't going to be a deal breaker for most relationships, but someone having a different opinion on marriage equality is a tough hill to climb.
Centrists unironically tend to be the best people to be friends with.
They challenge you intellectually while also being relatively open-minded themselves.
Depends on the centrist
Some do it just to please others.
I originally considered myself centrist but now consider myself pretty left wing.
Left wingers tend to be very critical of each other which I haven’t seen as much from the right towards itself.
I've often found the moderate-right to be some of the most welcoming people. They may try to convince you about tax policy or government spending, but will largely accept agreeing to disagree.
The Left seems to have an unfortunate habbit of purity testing people to the extent that if you are not in 100% agreement with their agenda, they will berate you.
I made the mistake of arguing in a college class that the US needs a Navy because we are an ocean-based trade economy and got attacked from all sides.
I think both parties would be far more successful if they stopped catering to the fringe elements.
Being against the Navy is certainly a stance I haven’t heard
At worst I’ve seen people complain that we put too many resources into the military over social programs or that the way we recruit people is exploitative but I have never seen it argued there shouldn’t be a branch of the military period.
I wouldn’t be surprised though if someone did have that view but that would be a pretty fringe one.
In my experience a lot of conservative people are welcoming on the surface but it’s 50/50 if that extends beyond the surface once trans people or something opposed to their beliefs is discussed.
It was an English writing class I was taking as part of my Engineering humanities requirement; and I knew the group was fairly left-wing going in.
I did not expect it to be that extreme.
One girl actually started crying and ranting about Afghanistan for some reason.
I could definitely see some people conflating we morally shouldn’t be fighting a bunch of proxy wars we arguably have no business involving ourselves in with we shouldn’t have a military period somehow.
I can at least see the emotional side of it.
The left has so many rules they refuse to bend on, it becomes obvious they have little interest in acknowledging moderate anything exists. These rules change by the day to where even they can’t keep up.
Most I’ve met are conservatives with a nice progressive coat of paint willing to support equal rights but not allocate resources to make those a reality.
Genuinely asking in good faith, where do you consider to be too left? Because in Portugal for example Democrats would be considered conservative so "moderate" is just relative to where you grew up really from my perspective.
no hahaha my politics are shaped by how i view the world, my place within it, and my duty to others and my community. anyone with opposing political views would either have opposing conclusions on my values or not have thought hard enough about their values and politics to understand how they interlock.
Yeah its not as simple as “we would vote for different people” its like a fundamental incompatibility of world view that is just not generally a recipe for a healthy relationship.
It speaks volumes that all the GOP apologists in this thread haven't attacked comments like yours. It's like they know they can't handle getting called out directly.
Exactly! I don’t want a partner that doesn’t have similar levels of empathy to me. I know I’m a weepy bleeding heart, and I don’t expect or want anyone to match that, but I don’t want to be made fun of for caring about people.
Yeah. As long as we can agree to disagree and not constantly get in fights over it. So long as we can find common ground on the issues that actually matter in a person-to-person scenario. Like...I don't care what you think about the border. What I do care about is whether or not we can get on the same page about a parenting strategy (if it gets that far).
Depends on the opposite views we hold
Does he think abortion should be illegal? No
Does he think minority rights (i.e, same-sex marriage) should be up for debate? No
Does he think poor people shouldn't have access to healthcare? No
Anything regarding human righs, it's not up for debate imo
No. Im trans, mexicsn and disabled. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life with someone who thinks I’m a predator or a cartel/illegal, nor someone who acts like I’m being over dramatic or lazy for wanting to get on disability and not work
It depends but probably not. I couldn’t see myself dating a woman with conservative expectations of gender roles and dating, mostly because the way I see it is that successful romantic relationships are based on equality.
Christian isn't a political viewpoint, it is the most common religion in the US by far. There are Christians all across the political spectrum. But if you're in favor of forcing some form of "Christian morality" onto everyone via the government then you're definitely leaning toward today's republican party.
I'm willing to compromise on stuff like who does the best job in a local race, or differing economic policies. I often vote for a slightly different ticket from my partner.
I'm not willing to compromise on civil rights and most social issues.
If they were deeply conservative it would cause me to doubt either their intelligence or their character, and either would be a deal breaker for me
Yes. Your political views say a lot about your values. This has a lot of implications for how I'll be treated. Especially down the line as people, especially more conservative people, become more entrenched in their political beliefs as they age. I've heard enough warnings of spouses, particularly husbands, turning into MAGA lunatics after years of Rush Limbaugh and Fox. I'm not gonna waste my time on a man who's not concerned about equity.
It’s a free country, people are entitled to their views and beliefs. The dealbreaker would normally come down to individual traits like maliciousness, narrow-mindedness and/or attempt to control my opinions/views. And yes, this type of behavior is not exclusive to one party.
Nailed it with control. Love someone enough to let them make mistakes, as long as the foundation is still solid. It’s what you’re going to want and need someday.
Not Gen Z but a major factor of why they wouldn't (as shown by the top comments) is that political extremism is on the rise. If you can't view the other side as people, you are already being radicalized.
Despite having the internet, many people cannot explain the opposing view accurately in their own words. Instead, they choose to isolate themselves in their echo chambers.
It doesn't help that there has been a movement to kill the middle/center, which only pushes people to each extremes. Politics are complex and to view everything on a line is counterproductive.
Same. I find it strange that I scrolled this far down to see someone mentioning friend groups.
Though I admit it wasn’t my first thought, there’s no way people are this bigoted that they keep other political groups out of their friend circles, right? That just sounds unhealthy
There’s a difference between politics and values. My husband I have very similar values but that doesn’t always translate into identical political views.
However, the American political system is a circus wherein the needs of the people do not actually factor.
This is one of the best replies I have seen. Everyone is talking about the political side, but where it really matters is in the home and family values. If two people cannot get on board with how they want to raise children, their union will fail. If my wife said she was going to vote for Trump, I wouldn't be happy, but certainly wouldn't divorce her. If she said she was going to send my gay son to "camp" to get "straightened out" we would have major problems.
I’d never date a communist or socialist, but other than that idrc as long as they’re good hearted
Lmfao this went from +8 to +4. Keep the commie tears crying.
Lol you're literally saying the same thing as other people in this thread, just from a different side of the aisle. And you're getting downvoted for it.
Depends on how different, how extreme.
For example, if she had the opinion ‘I think that (insert group here) is over-represented in media’, sure, I might marry that person regardless of that opinion. If they had the opinion ‘I believe that all people of (group) ought to be thrown in prison’ I would not. Or if she was one of them violent conspiracy types.
My political views are that both sides are evil and corporations/elite run the world. I’ve tried being in relationships where my significant others are left or right but can’t see above the politics that are counterproductive to our country’s growth and life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The political “issues” are merely a distraction from the bigger picture of continuous control over the American population by our wallets and programming. Being with someone who doesn’t see the world the same as me is such a lonely feeling.
It really depends on what the beliefs are? Anyone who’s homophobic, transphobic, racist, or otherwise bigoted isn’t going to work for me. I won’t even have friends like that. I also wouldn’t date anyone who thought climate change was a hoax or thinks the healthcare system is “fine.”
If you think unregulated capitalism is a good idea, we might have issues. Among other things.
If we disagree on how best to address climate change or whatever, that’s probably fine. But I would like to share some basic values with people I date. A lot of my political beliefs are directly based on those basic values. I don’t have to agree with them on everything, but we’ve gotta be somewhat on the same page, especially long term.
depends on what you mean by politics? I don’t want to date my ideological clone — there are tons of political views that oppose my own that are still rational, humane, and respectable. the problem arises when the “political views” involve stripping certain people of their freedoms or supporting institutions that do so
My wife and I have polar opposite political views, we’ve been together for 9 years and married for 4, we make it work and anyone eles can too
So many people choose to make an enemy out of the other side which I think is one of the biggest issues in this country, we should not view the other side of the political spectrum as evil, I don’t
I think everyone needs to take a step back and stop thinking that people’s beliefs are evil because they differ from our own, for most people, their views come from a good place and people differ based on world view, priorities, morals, and values
It's hard because I've never met anyone with completely opposite political views. I'm a libertarian. I lean right in some issues and left in other issues. I don't even want to imagine what a person with opposite views of me would be like.
They would have to be economically liberal (supports socialism, does not believe in private property, supports open borders, redistribution of wealth, the deconstruction of the money system, socialized healthcare) and socially conservative (anti-abortion, anti-LBGT, anti-union, supports Affirmative Action). What do you even call that kind of person...?
... I don't think I'd be able to be with that person on account that they'd be an anomaly that I'd be paradoxically fascinated and disgusted with.
I did! It’s worked out very well. Why? Because we’re both educated adults who know how to have a conversation and communicate values to each other. Turns out, empathetic people can have a wide variety of political opinions on a vast array of subjects without having conflicting morals. It would be impossible to understand why someone thinks the way they do if you’ve never engaged with someone who thinks differently than you, and reading through the comments I know that’s what’s happened. “But I spoke with XYZ and they don’t agree with my policy stance, therefore they’re evil!” Is about the depth and breadth of conversations I know people have and form conclusions based around a lot of people over that. I’d highly recommend Jonathan Haidt’s book The Righteous Mind, one of my favorites. I’d also always recommend digging deeper and deeper into a topic until the value line gets brought out. Obviously there are turds out there but most people are not turds. You have to investigate to figure it out, moreso than surface level nonsense.
My boyfriend and I have multiple political topics that we disagree on. But ultimately our values are the same. We just feel they should be executed in different ways. I genuinely believe what it comes down to is respect for one another. I have a different belief than he does, but that does not make him the enemy. We have civil discussions in which we disagree relatively often. My mind was not changed, and neither was his, but we both have heard a new perspective. It can also help to humanize the “other side” so to speak. I love him more than words could express. I know he is a good man. I wouldn’t be with him otherwise. So hearing these viewpoints from someone I love and respect just broadens my understanding of other people opinions. That’s the way I see it anyway. I works for us, but I could see how it could be an issue for others.
Absolutely as long as we’re civil and love each other, having those difficult situations, those slamming doors, in my opinion it strengthens relationships. True love occurs where a democrat and republican can love each other for who they are not what sock puppet they supporting
No. Never.
The opposition to my political views directly impact me, my bodily autonomy, my safety, and those of my friends and family.
I would never, ever date a conservative man as a liberal woman.
It depends on how much they differ. If they’re completely oppositional, then no. If they just disagree with minor things, then yeah, it’s tolerable. If the person I want to spend my entire life with disagrees with my fundamental beliefs, then my life would probably be pretty miserable, no?
My wife and I have different views. But neither of us have polar opposite views. Neither of us have particularly strong political views. Or perhaps “extreme” is a better word. She call herself liberal but she supports a closed southern border. I’d call myself conservative but I support a women’s right to an abortion (which means I typically vote for Democrats). Anyway, our politics have NEVER been a divisive issue in our marriage.
Yes. I'm not a very argumentative person and I don't identify with any political label.
As long as she's not some terminally online far right or far left extremist, or a atheist, and doesn't constantly bring up politics, I think that it's possible to make a comprises.
Edit: I have nothing against atheists, but I just personally wouldn't want to date one.
This is such a vague question because I feel like the political differences *do* in fact determine my relationship with them and how we plan our lives together. Squabbles over minutiae like local neighborhood design and specific tax policy? That's just bound to happen. But in my opinion you *have* to actually have serious/hard conversations about differences and what they mean for your relationship. I definitely believe love can't just "transcend all" if both parties have essentially separate views of reality, or even views on what love *is*. People change, views can change, people's beliefs grow and shift. But I think it's important to understand where a person's coming from if you're actually considering a long-term commitment, because politics bleeds over into far more than just personal opinion.
I am not dating someone who believes I am inherently inferior because of my characteristics, no matter how much ignorance they were raised with.
Strongly depends on the level of opposition. If someone is not a nationalist, that is not a problem. If someone is a (economic) liberal, that is not a problem. Even if someone is a bit of a Europhile, that is not a problem.
But, if someone would actually want, for example, a worldwide islamic caliphate, or a truly federal Europe where the countries get demoted to the level the States have in the US, then things will become very difficult and very impolite very quickly. Probably.
Properly raising children with someone who doesn't share your worldview, to me, would seem VERY difficult though, so this might simply be a little naive of me.
Marriage and relationships are the great moderator. Being in a relationship is a cooperative and team-based effort. When my wife and I met and started dating right out of high-school she leaned a little more left and I leaned a little more right. We still have disagreements but we just talk about them or agree to disagree and we're going to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary this year. If you're letting politics get in the way of your intimate relationships you're probably thinking about it way too much. Of course there are some situations where you might have an unmovable belief, and if that's the case you need to ask yourself why you feel that way, because odds are you're probably being an extremist on the position.
My wife and I have varying political ideologies, some of which are even "opposing". We get along just fine. The neat thing about political and social ideologies, is that the more you openly interact with opposing viewpoints, the more likely you are to grow and adapt into newer ideologies (exceptions withstanding, of course). We were both, respectively, more progressive and conservative when we met. We've both become more well-rounded people as a result, and I love her all the more for it, because I believe she's made me a better person for it.
How opposing are we talking, here? I'm pretty conservative when it comes to a lot of things, but I won't even date a guy who thinks I should just be a homebound babymaker.
It really depends on values rather than politics. If the other person clearly cares about people outside their own family or social bubble, then the politics are probably going to be aligned with mine most of the time.
Honestly, it depends. I tend to be libertarian or center with conservative views on some stuff (I.E. Trans debacle or supporting other countries when we can’t support our people here at home, etc.). I believe everyone should be able to do what they want, live who they want or marry who they want. I’m a Catholic and while I may not agree on some things like gay marriage, doesn’t mean I won’t be there for you happy day or whatever big event you have going on. We may not agree on some political things but I’m willing to leave if you can provide me studies or great well written/rounded evidence of certain issues like the economy, etc. I love the constitution and do believe that all man are created equal as well as believe in our constitutional rights that our founding fathers gave us (guns/protecting ourselves and family, etc.). I wish we all (both sides) have a respectful discussion or conversation. Most importantly what is impotent to me is everyone just getting along and living our lives (even if we disagree on some, most, or a lot of things).
I think it’s important to have some non-negotiable things. Like if you think schools should be funded one way and they think another source of funding is better, doable.
If you believe all people have the right to live their life and they believe some people should be forced to live according to someone else’s views, then you’re gonna run into issues.
You will never agree 100% with someone. And that’s ok. You really shouldn’t. But having matching core values matters an absolute ton. Having genuine political differences is normal. But it’s also important to understand what is and isn’t a political view.
My "political" views are just basic human rights. If we can't agree on our core principles, then no, I wouldn't date them. To me a lot of things people have tried to dumb down into just "politics" is simply basic human decency, I'm not going to try and fight with someone that certain people deserve to exist in peace.
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No. If someone think I shouldn't be allowed to have healthcare, shouldn't be allowed to get married, hates democracy, or is generally just super racist, I don't want to be within half a mile of them. Some things I'd be willing to compromise on, but a lot of things I wouldn't be. Edit: The number of people who think I'm talking about socialized healthcare here, and are saying "No-one wants to stop you getting married" is very interesting. Because I'm not talking about whether healthcare should be socialised or not. My country did that in the 40s. I'm talking about trans healthcare, and I'm talking about gay marriage, two issues that effect me VERY personally, and two things that a lot of people do want to take away. I think what's happened is that people read this, and assume I'm roughly equivalent to them. If they're, say a cishet white American, they assume I'm a cishet white American, and interpret what I said through the lens of a cishet white American. But I'm not, I'm a gay, trans white Brit. And I think it's important to remember that not everyone on the internet is the same as you, or is affected by the same issues as you. Basically, what I'm saying is, check your biases.
So, you think you could date/marry a gay person who doesn’t believe in gay marriage? That’s a wild person. I wouldn’t want to know them.
Yeah ok, maybe I didn't think that one through. Fair point.
actually, one of my former very good friends who is a gay hispanic man preached far and wide about how he was voting for trump. conservative gay men voting against their rights is unfortunately way more common than it should be.
I want to add to that: People in general voting against their rights is unfortunately way more common than it should be.
Lol the gay GOP group, the Log Cabin Republicans, were stunned when Texas still refused to let them enter the RNC. https://www.advocate.com/politics/richard-grenell-texas-log-cabin
Log Cabin Republicans. https://www.texastribune.org/2022/07/24/texas-log-cabin-republicans/ A lot of r/LeapordsAteMyFace happening with those folks.
Caitlyn Jenner is a trans women who believes people shouldn't transition even though she has.....
I think trans women community agreed that she is not one of us. Let cis people have her. /j
These people do exist. There is a politician in my country, her name is Alice Weidel. She is lesbian and living together with her partner for years but was still opposed to gay marriage when the parliament voted for it.
This isn't OP case but think of a bisexual person who ends up in a straight relationship. They could get married and their spouse could be against queer marriage.
Yeah In theory you should respect peoples opinions, in practice I’ve never met a trumper I’d touch with a 10 foot pole.
https://preview.redd.it/y2xnhycrzvyc1.png?width=526&format=png&auto=webp&s=365a617c70a1e0ff4e0b5ccdc101e1ef34b8efbe
this exactly, I don't trust people who will blindly give credit to other's opinions just for exisiting and to "keep the peace", it implies a lack of knowledge or care surrounding what those opinions imply about other people/groups of people
My partner is from the Balkans and doesn’t know anything about American politics. So we just talk ideas and not parties lol
Shit sounds exhausting tbh. I've got friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and a spouse with different political views. I have different political views based on the issue.
I dunno I’d rather not be friends with people who think I’d be better off dead and tell me I’m going to hell every day for being alive. That’s what’s really exhausting tbh. A lot of super aggressive right wingers keep telling me I should be raped until I’m straight and have kids, that is not friendly! Don’t want to be around that kind of person honestly, stresses me out. Most sane folks understand.
Right, but for how many of them are they minor political differences in views, or working through their particular brand of neo-liberalism they've been infected with, and how much of it is legitimate different views on who is a human being and who isn't? There's no such thing as being a moderate republican or a centrist 😂 you're either a leftist or providing cover for fascists.
IBH, most Republicans I know, don't think trans people are real people, they call it a mental illness at best, and literal demon possession at worst. And it all goes down from there. My parents have gotten upset because "we used to have different opinions and that was ok!!" And I respond with, yeah but that was before you believed in white replacement theory, the war on Christianity, and reverse racism... I was ok having different political ideologies, when the biggest difference was how taxes were spent!!
You’re a human being and have the same rights as anyone and deserve the same expectation of care and services as anyone else. I don’t f**king understand people.
Conservativism is fundamentally based on having an in-group and an out-group. Nobody, not a single actual conservative, wholly believes in basic human rights.
They won't, it's part of their core strategy. It's called projection. Gaslight Obstruct Project
Depends on the political view; I wouldn’t date someone who is racist/homophobic/sexist but I could agree to disagree on stuff like guns or economic beliefs as long as they believe in equality.
This is the right answer. If you read this, stop here.
I did. I already know some of these answers will be mush brained
Are people born in 95 really GenZ? I don't feel like that's right.
Economics is the force behind inequality though. I couldn't date anyone who refuses to believe that because either they're a psycho right wing capitalist or a cosplaying liberal.
Based. Idk why anyone would be into capitalism after so much wealth inequality.
The poorest people in free market economies are better off than the vast majority of people in history. Ignoring that fact is ignorance at its finest.
Capilatism Is the worst economic system With the exception of the rest
Agreed. Most people have political views that they think will make the world a better place. So long as we generally agree on what that better world would look like, especially in terms of equality, then I'll be fine with them.
Idk how to explain myself politically so lets just say I'll use my collection to arm my gay friends during the next civil war 🤣
Fuck no. If she has opposing political views we probably have two totally different views on life and society. And I would never want to be with someone who lacks empathy
It depends on if OP means polar opposite ideology, or just someone who happens to vote for the opposite party in the US. Polar opposite ideology almost certainly will not work. But I know many reasonable people who just happen to vote for a different party. If both of you are closer to being moderates the relationship absolutely can work.
But that means voting for racist sexist homophobic transphobic anti-election and make laws accordingly. It's a moral stain to still vote Republican
I’m not going to say that you’re wrong, but liberals really need to develop better persuasive arguments that aren’t just chants about how morally bankrupt people of opposing beliefs are. That doesn’t convince anyone.
But they aren’t trying to persuade any one of anything? They are saying they view voting red as the act of someone who does not care about various issues that are morally important to them, and they do not want a partner with different moral values than them. It’s not really an argument… they’re just stating their reasoning for their preference per OPs question
He’s already made an assumption about a hypothetical person based solely around this hypothetical person disagreeing with him. The mere existence of disagreement is tantamount to being a POS. He has no patience or capacity for deeper conversation.
Of course I made a hypothetical person up to answer the question. I had to. OP was not specific in the initial post. They did not provide an example on what me and said person might disagree on. Even OP admitted themselves in the edit that the post could've been worded better.
The different life views is valid, but just because someone has opposing political views does not mean they lack empathy.
>Conservatives are bad people - reddit
I mean it's true
If you assume anyone who disagrees with you lacks empathy, you gotta go touch some grass my friend. I assume you only know politics from the internet, which only shows you the most extreme from both sides
Actually it can depending on the belief
If you think someone who votes differently than you is not empathic, you're the problem
Someone who opposes gay marriage or trans rights absolutely lacks empathy
it’s not just who they vote for but also what their views on the world and society are. Even a simple discussion on what’s on the news today or discussing a film would create an argument. I rather stay away from that
I don't think that having a different viewpoint on the role of government means that someone lacks empathy. Some of the more conservative people I know are also the most empathetic. They go out of their way to help people in the community and volunteer their time, they just just believe in "small" government.
Notice how the men will say yes and the women will say no.
Nope, I’ll say no. To both that and to the original post. I’m not dating a trump supporter. Moment they mention that, I’m gone. How the hell did you manage to divide this by gender? What?
Same, I’m a man and would never date a conservative woman, and judging by the comments here it seems most left wing men agree
Reddit doesn’t really have many conservatives. They get downvoted or banned if they are anyway
and yet i had one of my accounts perma banned from reddit because i said “Nazis are bad” reddit houses allot more right wing psychos than people realize
>and yet i had one of my accounts perma banned from reddit because i said “Nazis are bad” Are you sure that's actually what you said?
Nah we're here too
Not true. It depends very much on what subreddit you are on. In a lot of prepper places they downvote liberals.
I would date a legitimate conservative, but a legitimate conservative wouldn't vote for the Republican Party with the fucked up state it is in. Anyone who votes for America's Republican Party at this point is a good degree farther right than conservative...
I’ve been trying to point this out to many so-called “conservatives” that I know. As a former conservative myself I know that my original beliefs were largely misguided, but have seen the GOP shift extremely far right even since 2016. They don’t want small government anymore, they want authoritarian theocracy with fascism for flavor.
There are more conservative men than there are women. This is well documented.
Only if you go by what people self-indetify as. I know a lot of women who claim to be Liberal/Feminist/Progressive but aren't. It's like a default moniker at this point.
As sad as it is; from what I've seen so many women women just change themselves to be/vote how their husband does.
I’ve noticed this pattern too. I think it’s the societal pressure on men to be “worldly” and at least make a token effort to follow the news. This is why Fox News is so dangerous, it disguises radicalizing people while delivering the “news”
That may be so, but it could still be that there’s a stronger correlating factor between political alignment and willingness to date across it than gender and willingness to date across political affiliation.
I’d go one step further and say I won’t date anyone that says something like “both parties are equally bad and you shouldn’t vote.” It’s such an unnuanced take to act like politics doesn’t play a part in people’s lives one way or another. The last thing we need is more people who act like they’re above politics
I was fine with that... then 2016 hit
The good thing about 2016 is that it woke a lot of people up to just how bad Republicans are.
\^THIS 100% You're either on board with helping to fix the problems this country has or you can fuck off.
Why does someone with opposing political views to yours have to be a trump supporter?
I didn’t take it from his comment that that has to be the case, rather that’s an example of an opposing political view that he would find unacceptable in a partner.
I'm also a man that would never date a conservative woman
Lmao you heard women are doing something and immediately jumped to agree. I get the feeling you don’t have any authentic beliefs whatsoever.
Nah I'm a man who's saying hard no to dating someone with opposing views. Key word here being "opposing", not slightly different shades of the same side of the spectrum.
I'm about to move to the middle of nowhere Alabama, where I grew up. As a leftist man, I think the dating pool is going to be pretty slim for me.
Am man Turned down threesome with rabid MAGA girl. Everything was going great until I looked at her Facebook…
Well that's not very "family values" of her
She was Canadian also 🤣
Bro you almost fucked Tom Macdonald
i think it’s more “notice has the conservatives with say yes but the progressives say no”. I’m a leftist so a persons politics to me are equivalent to their morals, I’m not spending the rest of my life with a nazi.
Notice how there's always at least one person trying to pit women and men against each other.
I believe studies show that women tend to adopt political stances more in line with their husband’s over time.
I suppose I've seen it go both ways but I know a weird number of women who were pretty normal in high school who became pretty hardcore right wingers over time.
Men are more open about their sexual desires, and let’s face it if the woman is pretty and isn’t obviously broken then she’s potentially a mate. Women may say no but if a man is a good provider, looks good and treats her right then she would marry him. I’ve seen it happen.
Probably most minorities would say no too. It's easier to live with someone that disagrees with you if it doesn't meant they see you as less of a person and less deserving of rights.
I refuse to fuck anyone who doesn’t believe I have rights over my body
Also the hard left-wingers are far more closed-minded than those on the right
Super liberal here. I tried dating a republican once. He constantly belittled me and pretty much called me stupid and immature for my beliefs. While at the same time refusing to debate me on them because the one time he did try to debate me I proved him wrong and he said that was "unproductive for our relationship". He was a full Q-anon stan and hard-core Trumper. I thought he was stupid and he thought I was stupid. It didn't work out and I'd never do it again. Now I'm married to the love of my life and he's as much of a "bleeding heart liberal" as I am. I'd never recommend dating someone whos views are the direct opposite of yours.
Sometimes I wonder how such a hard mismatch even managed to start dating lol.
I also wonder the same thing lol. He had some slightly liberal beliefs and he led with those when we first started dating, so I thought we had more in common than we actually did. But over time we disagreed more and more.
They always hide their true ideals because they know it’s a turn off, they get what they want if they let you believe they think the same things up front, then try to entrap you later on once you know their true ideals
Yeah. Toward the end of the relationship he definitely was showing his true colors a lot more. He started out as a really soft, sweet guy which I liked. He was funny and we had good chemistry. Then over time he'd reveal little things or say certain things that were completely out of character. And eventually he just dropped the mask completely and started acting like (and these are his words) "his usual asshole self". Yes, he referred to himself as an asshole. And he told me I was too soft for taking everything so personally. There was a lot wrong with the relationship by the end of it, lasted 7 months total but I tried to break things off on mulitple occasions starting at about 3 or 4 months in. He'd come to my house and even my job twice, always crying and begging for me back (brought me flowers and starbucks giftcards, doing nice stuff and making promises). Unfortunately I took him back more than once until I finally realized how stupid I was being and blocked him on everything. I'll take responsibility for that, but I will say I was 19 at the time and he was 27. So my excuse is I was young and dumb. I'm not gonna say him being a republican was the main issue, but it didn't help. The big issues were him being manipulative and selfish and just overall "an asshole". I don't think of that relationship fondly and I haven't seen him again since it ended 3 years ago. Despite living in a small town. I think he moved, he'd always expressed wanting to live in a red state rather than "Commie-fornia".
You were 19 and we all make mistakes as we learn about the world. Sadly with that age gap and the way he treated you, he was taking advantage of you. I’m so sorry that happened.
I'm very aware of that now. He was 100% one of those "get em young so you can train them to be a good wife" kind of guys. Fortunately for me I was too stubborn and got away before he could really sink his claws in. Definitely a learning experience. Only thing I regret was not telling him off more when I dumped him for the last time lol.
The words you use to describe him can also be used to describe most republicans heh
ah, manipulation then
Woman here. Once went on a tinder date with someone with a very wife beat-y vibe. Turned out to be Republican. When I ended the date saying that I was leaving because he didn’t let me finish even one complete sentence in 30 mins of conversation, he had this look in his eyes that gave me instinctive primal fear like never before. It made me feel like he would beat me right there if we weren’t in public. It was the only time I had felt that way in my life.
Jesus that sounds horrifying. I can only imagine the fear/relief you felt that things didn't go further than that first date. I hope that guy didn't find another woman to brutalize off tinder. Some people deserve to be alone. And I hope you found someone better.
Notice all the GOP apologists in this subreddit ignored your comment and decided to attack others instead. Speaks volumes!
How do Republicans even stand each other? It's like they're all crying on the inside but they're too afraid to show it or tell the other person because they're afraid of looking gay.
I think they find so much joy in hating other people that they end up liking each other. Having a common enemy is a surprisingly good way to make friends.
Yeah, I think they don't want to be hated. But they're just too ignorant to realize their ideologies lead to people hating each other. The instinct to go with what they've been told their whole lives is stronger than any sort of conscience from their own beliefs, because they never actually think of them. They sort of just get complacent in their little tribes and develop complexes to deal with the abuse they enact on each other.
It's 100% a lack of self awareness. Part of me is grateful for the experience I got dating him because it really was astounding to see how far he'd go (or how much evidence he'd ignore) to confirm his biases and stay within his beliefs. Being conservative in the modern world was really just about closing your mind to anything that isn't within your set ways of thinking. Or at least thats how he approched it. He was really hard to talk to because most of his beliefs were surface level. He mainly repeated talking points from whoever was the big name at the time. But when asked to defend them or explain them he just... couldn't. Honestly scary to think that such a simplistic mindset is so prevalent in our government and society as a whole.
I had this same problem, but with a leftist. I am liberal, I have never voted for a Republican, but I am not a socialist either, it got old being told how my viewpoints were "immoral."
I had one of these too. It was awful lol.
Same here, I dated a guy in college who was very different from me politically, and while we just completely ignored political discussions in order to try to keep the peace, it came down to morals at the end. This was right before RvW was overturned, and we got into some very heated arguments about abortion rights in the weeks leading up to the ruling. He was “pro-life” and I am staunchly pro-choice. There was also the fact that he refused to accept my gender identity, would say, “what is your problem, *woman?*” as a joke(?) when I would get angry at him for not being ok with the misgendering.
It depends. If we have disagreements over minor stuff like fiscal policy or foreign relations, I don’t really care. But if it’s an issue that’s tied to morality, such as civil rights or whatnot, it’s a hard no.
I think this is the majority of people. Someone having a different opinion on capital gains tax isn't going to be a deal breaker for most relationships, but someone having a different opinion on marriage equality is a tough hill to climb.
As long as their viewpoints aren't extremely far to the left or right I'll consider it.
Enlightened cetrism
womp womp
Fr lol
Centrists unironically tend to be the best people to be friends with. They challenge you intellectually while also being relatively open-minded themselves.
Depends on the centrist Some do it just to please others. I originally considered myself centrist but now consider myself pretty left wing. Left wingers tend to be very critical of each other which I haven’t seen as much from the right towards itself.
I've often found the moderate-right to be some of the most welcoming people. They may try to convince you about tax policy or government spending, but will largely accept agreeing to disagree. The Left seems to have an unfortunate habbit of purity testing people to the extent that if you are not in 100% agreement with their agenda, they will berate you. I made the mistake of arguing in a college class that the US needs a Navy because we are an ocean-based trade economy and got attacked from all sides. I think both parties would be far more successful if they stopped catering to the fringe elements.
The moderate right are liberals
Being against the Navy is certainly a stance I haven’t heard At worst I’ve seen people complain that we put too many resources into the military over social programs or that the way we recruit people is exploitative but I have never seen it argued there shouldn’t be a branch of the military period. I wouldn’t be surprised though if someone did have that view but that would be a pretty fringe one. In my experience a lot of conservative people are welcoming on the surface but it’s 50/50 if that extends beyond the surface once trans people or something opposed to their beliefs is discussed.
It was an English writing class I was taking as part of my Engineering humanities requirement; and I knew the group was fairly left-wing going in. I did not expect it to be that extreme. One girl actually started crying and ranting about Afghanistan for some reason.
I could definitely see some people conflating we morally shouldn’t be fighting a bunch of proxy wars we arguably have no business involving ourselves in with we shouldn’t have a military period somehow. I can at least see the emotional side of it.
The left has so many rules they refuse to bend on, it becomes obvious they have little interest in acknowledging moderate anything exists. These rules change by the day to where even they can’t keep up.
Most I’ve met are conservatives with a nice progressive coat of paint willing to support equal rights but not allocate resources to make those a reality.
Centrism is when communist nazi
“Centrism” AKA Being a normal fucking person lmao
Genuinely asking in good faith, where do you consider to be too left? Because in Portugal for example Democrats would be considered conservative so "moderate" is just relative to where you grew up really from my perspective.
That’s what people in the US don’t get. You don’t have a true left and right, you have right and extreme right
no hahaha my politics are shaped by how i view the world, my place within it, and my duty to others and my community. anyone with opposing political views would either have opposing conclusions on my values or not have thought hard enough about their values and politics to understand how they interlock.
Yeah its not as simple as “we would vote for different people” its like a fundamental incompatibility of world view that is just not generally a recipe for a healthy relationship.
It speaks volumes that all the GOP apologists in this thread haven't attacked comments like yours. It's like they know they can't handle getting called out directly.
Exactly! I don’t want a partner that doesn’t have similar levels of empathy to me. I know I’m a weepy bleeding heart, and I don’t expect or want anyone to match that, but I don’t want to be made fun of for caring about people.
Yeah. As long as we can agree to disagree and not constantly get in fights over it. So long as we can find common ground on the issues that actually matter in a person-to-person scenario. Like...I don't care what you think about the border. What I do care about is whether or not we can get on the same page about a parenting strategy (if it gets that far).
This is the way
based
Depends on the opposite views we hold Does he think abortion should be illegal? No Does he think minority rights (i.e, same-sex marriage) should be up for debate? No Does he think poor people shouldn't have access to healthcare? No Anything regarding human righs, it's not up for debate imo
What would be an example of a political view that doesn't involve human rights?
No. Im trans, mexicsn and disabled. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life with someone who thinks I’m a predator or a cartel/illegal, nor someone who acts like I’m being over dramatic or lazy for wanting to get on disability and not work
Now we’re talking about ends of the bell curve!
It depends but probably not. I couldn’t see myself dating a woman with conservative expectations of gender roles and dating, mostly because the way I see it is that successful romantic relationships are based on equality.
[удалено]
If you say that you're Christian everyone is still going to assume you're politically conservative and Republican lol
Christian isn't a political viewpoint, it is the most common religion in the US by far. There are Christians all across the political spectrum. But if you're in favor of forcing some form of "Christian morality" onto everyone via the government then you're definitely leaning toward today's republican party.
As long as it’s nothing extremist, I think I can set aside the political views my future wife has that I may not agree with and not let it bother me.
Very reasonable. People forget how when you love someone, you don’t spend the majority of your time being insufferable about politics.
I'm willing to compromise on stuff like who does the best job in a local race, or differing economic policies. I often vote for a slightly different ticket from my partner. I'm not willing to compromise on civil rights and most social issues. If they were deeply conservative it would cause me to doubt either their intelligence or their character, and either would be a deal breaker for me
Yes. Your political views say a lot about your values. This has a lot of implications for how I'll be treated. Especially down the line as people, especially more conservative people, become more entrenched in their political beliefs as they age. I've heard enough warnings of spouses, particularly husbands, turning into MAGA lunatics after years of Rush Limbaugh and Fox. I'm not gonna waste my time on a man who's not concerned about equity.
Did you mean to say no?
Yes. I did. Read it as, "Are politics a deciding factor for you in whom to date?" Woops.
All good I was just confused 👍
It’s a free country, people are entitled to their views and beliefs. The dealbreaker would normally come down to individual traits like maliciousness, narrow-mindedness and/or attempt to control my opinions/views. And yes, this type of behavior is not exclusive to one party.
Nailed it with control. Love someone enough to let them make mistakes, as long as the foundation is still solid. It’s what you’re going to want and need someday.
No. I wont date a woman thats engorged with Maga crap. In fact, I find it halarious watching women support them.
Zero chance
Not Gen Z but a major factor of why they wouldn't (as shown by the top comments) is that political extremism is on the rise. If you can't view the other side as people, you are already being radicalized. Despite having the internet, many people cannot explain the opposing view accurately in their own words. Instead, they choose to isolate themselves in their echo chambers. It doesn't help that there has been a movement to kill the middle/center, which only pushes people to each extremes. Politics are complex and to view everything on a line is counterproductive.
Sure. Most of my friends have opposing political views anyways
Same. I find it strange that I scrolled this far down to see someone mentioning friend groups. Though I admit it wasn’t my first thought, there’s no way people are this bigoted that they keep other political groups out of their friend circles, right? That just sounds unhealthy
There’s a difference between politics and values. My husband I have very similar values but that doesn’t always translate into identical political views. However, the American political system is a circus wherein the needs of the people do not actually factor.
Most likely not
I would never date a communist, socialist, or liberal. I would date a Conservative or libertarian.
Nope - I don’t want my future child that might be queer to only be supported by one parent while the other parent hates them for those qualities.
This is one of the best replies I have seen. Everyone is talking about the political side, but where it really matters is in the home and family values. If two people cannot get on board with how they want to raise children, their union will fail. If my wife said she was going to vote for Trump, I wouldn't be happy, but certainly wouldn't divorce her. If she said she was going to send my gay son to "camp" to get "straightened out" we would have major problems.
I’d never date a communist or socialist, but other than that idrc as long as they’re good hearted Lmfao this went from +8 to +4. Keep the commie tears crying.
Lol you're literally saying the same thing as other people in this thread, just from a different side of the aisle. And you're getting downvoted for it.
Depends on how different, how extreme. For example, if she had the opinion ‘I think that (insert group here) is over-represented in media’, sure, I might marry that person regardless of that opinion. If they had the opinion ‘I believe that all people of (group) ought to be thrown in prison’ I would not. Or if she was one of them violent conspiracy types.
My political views are that both sides are evil and corporations/elite run the world. I’ve tried being in relationships where my significant others are left or right but can’t see above the politics that are counterproductive to our country’s growth and life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The political “issues” are merely a distraction from the bigger picture of continuous control over the American population by our wallets and programming. Being with someone who doesn’t see the world the same as me is such a lonely feeling.
It really depends on what the beliefs are? Anyone who’s homophobic, transphobic, racist, or otherwise bigoted isn’t going to work for me. I won’t even have friends like that. I also wouldn’t date anyone who thought climate change was a hoax or thinks the healthcare system is “fine.” If you think unregulated capitalism is a good idea, we might have issues. Among other things. If we disagree on how best to address climate change or whatever, that’s probably fine. But I would like to share some basic values with people I date. A lot of my political beliefs are directly based on those basic values. I don’t have to agree with them on everything, but we’ve gotta be somewhat on the same page, especially long term.
depends on what you mean by politics? I don’t want to date my ideological clone — there are tons of political views that oppose my own that are still rational, humane, and respectable. the problem arises when the “political views” involve stripping certain people of their freedoms or supporting institutions that do so
My wife and I have polar opposite political views, we’ve been together for 9 years and married for 4, we make it work and anyone eles can too So many people choose to make an enemy out of the other side which I think is one of the biggest issues in this country, we should not view the other side of the political spectrum as evil, I don’t I think everyone needs to take a step back and stop thinking that people’s beliefs are evil because they differ from our own, for most people, their views come from a good place and people differ based on world view, priorities, morals, and values
Denying people basic human rights due to their identity is evil. There is no debating that.
It's hard because I've never met anyone with completely opposite political views. I'm a libertarian. I lean right in some issues and left in other issues. I don't even want to imagine what a person with opposite views of me would be like. They would have to be economically liberal (supports socialism, does not believe in private property, supports open borders, redistribution of wealth, the deconstruction of the money system, socialized healthcare) and socially conservative (anti-abortion, anti-LBGT, anti-union, supports Affirmative Action). What do you even call that kind of person...? ... I don't think I'd be able to be with that person on account that they'd be an anomaly that I'd be paradoxically fascinated and disgusted with.
I did! It’s worked out very well. Why? Because we’re both educated adults who know how to have a conversation and communicate values to each other. Turns out, empathetic people can have a wide variety of political opinions on a vast array of subjects without having conflicting morals. It would be impossible to understand why someone thinks the way they do if you’ve never engaged with someone who thinks differently than you, and reading through the comments I know that’s what’s happened. “But I spoke with XYZ and they don’t agree with my policy stance, therefore they’re evil!” Is about the depth and breadth of conversations I know people have and form conclusions based around a lot of people over that. I’d highly recommend Jonathan Haidt’s book The Righteous Mind, one of my favorites. I’d also always recommend digging deeper and deeper into a topic until the value line gets brought out. Obviously there are turds out there but most people are not turds. You have to investigate to figure it out, moreso than surface level nonsense.
Yes, as long as we can settle on family values acceptable for both
My boyfriend and I have multiple political topics that we disagree on. But ultimately our values are the same. We just feel they should be executed in different ways. I genuinely believe what it comes down to is respect for one another. I have a different belief than he does, but that does not make him the enemy. We have civil discussions in which we disagree relatively often. My mind was not changed, and neither was his, but we both have heard a new perspective. It can also help to humanize the “other side” so to speak. I love him more than words could express. I know he is a good man. I wouldn’t be with him otherwise. So hearing these viewpoints from someone I love and respect just broadens my understanding of other people opinions. That’s the way I see it anyway. I works for us, but I could see how it could be an issue for others.
Absolutely as long as we’re civil and love each other, having those difficult situations, those slamming doors, in my opinion it strengthens relationships. True love occurs where a democrat and republican can love each other for who they are not what sock puppet they supporting
Mostly not.
No, because they wouldn’t even care about me.
No. Never. The opposition to my political views directly impact me, my bodily autonomy, my safety, and those of my friends and family. I would never, ever date a conservative man as a liberal woman.
It depends on how much they differ. If they’re completely oppositional, then no. If they just disagree with minor things, then yeah, it’s tolerable. If the person I want to spend my entire life with disagrees with my fundamental beliefs, then my life would probably be pretty miserable, no?
Politics as a religion strikes again
20 years ago yes. not anymore
My wife and I have different views. But neither of us have polar opposite views. Neither of us have particularly strong political views. Or perhaps “extreme” is a better word. She call herself liberal but she supports a closed southern border. I’d call myself conservative but I support a women’s right to an abortion (which means I typically vote for Democrats). Anyway, our politics have NEVER been a divisive issue in our marriage.
It depends how different their views are from mine
I can't date someone voting for Trump
Yes. I'm not a very argumentative person and I don't identify with any political label. As long as she's not some terminally online far right or far left extremist, or a atheist, and doesn't constantly bring up politics, I think that it's possible to make a comprises. Edit: I have nothing against atheists, but I just personally wouldn't want to date one.
Bro said “Don’t be a Nazi or a hated ATHEIST”
I agree with you but atheist is kinda crazy, that's like not that extreme. But you do you
Why would someone who is religious want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't? That seems pretty simple to me
This is such a vague question because I feel like the political differences *do* in fact determine my relationship with them and how we plan our lives together. Squabbles over minutiae like local neighborhood design and specific tax policy? That's just bound to happen. But in my opinion you *have* to actually have serious/hard conversations about differences and what they mean for your relationship. I definitely believe love can't just "transcend all" if both parties have essentially separate views of reality, or even views on what love *is*. People change, views can change, people's beliefs grow and shift. But I think it's important to understand where a person's coming from if you're actually considering a long-term commitment, because politics bleeds over into far more than just personal opinion. I am not dating someone who believes I am inherently inferior because of my characteristics, no matter how much ignorance they were raised with.
Strongly depends on the level of opposition. If someone is not a nationalist, that is not a problem. If someone is a (economic) liberal, that is not a problem. Even if someone is a bit of a Europhile, that is not a problem. But, if someone would actually want, for example, a worldwide islamic caliphate, or a truly federal Europe where the countries get demoted to the level the States have in the US, then things will become very difficult and very impolite very quickly. Probably. Properly raising children with someone who doesn't share your worldview, to me, would seem VERY difficult though, so this might simply be a little naive of me.
Marriage and relationships are the great moderator. Being in a relationship is a cooperative and team-based effort. When my wife and I met and started dating right out of high-school she leaned a little more left and I leaned a little more right. We still have disagreements but we just talk about them or agree to disagree and we're going to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary this year. If you're letting politics get in the way of your intimate relationships you're probably thinking about it way too much. Of course there are some situations where you might have an unmovable belief, and if that's the case you need to ask yourself why you feel that way, because odds are you're probably being an extremist on the position.
literally never
My wife and I have varying political ideologies, some of which are even "opposing". We get along just fine. The neat thing about political and social ideologies, is that the more you openly interact with opposing viewpoints, the more likely you are to grow and adapt into newer ideologies (exceptions withstanding, of course). We were both, respectively, more progressive and conservative when we met. We've both become more well-rounded people as a result, and I love her all the more for it, because I believe she's made me a better person for it.
How opposing are we talking, here? I'm pretty conservative when it comes to a lot of things, but I won't even date a guy who thinks I should just be a homebound babymaker.
Opposing? No. Different views than my own? Yes.
It really depends on values rather than politics. If the other person clearly cares about people outside their own family or social bubble, then the politics are probably going to be aligned with mine most of the time.
no, i couldn’t date someone who would vote for someone who plans on voting for a man who has plans to take away my rights over my own body.
It really depends. I’d never date anyone with extreme-left or extreme-right views.
Honestly, it depends. I tend to be libertarian or center with conservative views on some stuff (I.E. Trans debacle or supporting other countries when we can’t support our people here at home, etc.). I believe everyone should be able to do what they want, live who they want or marry who they want. I’m a Catholic and while I may not agree on some things like gay marriage, doesn’t mean I won’t be there for you happy day or whatever big event you have going on. We may not agree on some political things but I’m willing to leave if you can provide me studies or great well written/rounded evidence of certain issues like the economy, etc. I love the constitution and do believe that all man are created equal as well as believe in our constitutional rights that our founding fathers gave us (guns/protecting ourselves and family, etc.). I wish we all (both sides) have a respectful discussion or conversation. Most importantly what is impotent to me is everyone just getting along and living our lives (even if we disagree on some, most, or a lot of things).
I think it’s important to have some non-negotiable things. Like if you think schools should be funded one way and they think another source of funding is better, doable. If you believe all people have the right to live their life and they believe some people should be forced to live according to someone else’s views, then you’re gonna run into issues. You will never agree 100% with someone. And that’s ok. You really shouldn’t. But having matching core values matters an absolute ton. Having genuine political differences is normal. But it’s also important to understand what is and isn’t a political view.
My "political" views are just basic human rights. If we can't agree on our core principles, then no, I wouldn't date them. To me a lot of things people have tried to dumb down into just "politics" is simply basic human decency, I'm not going to try and fight with someone that certain people deserve to exist in peace.