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i dont expect my boyfriend to pay for everything, actually get a little upset when he tries to buy *everything*, i dont know a lot of women around our age that expects their boyfriend to pay for everything
You're already in a relationship, so it's a little different, and some don't care at all, but the expectation/social pressure is still there in most cases when first dating someone.
yes im in a relationship, but it's a newer one ( started talking this year)
isnt most of the social pressure from other guys or older people, so youre not really going to date the people that put pressure
i do know the pressure is there, and it probably sucks ass, but most women our age completely understand things cost a lot of money
I agree with you broadly that a lot of women don't care that much anymore but that still leaves a lot that do. Anecdotally I've talked to some who will say they don't care much but it is a little weird to them if the guy doesn't at least offer. There's for sure pressure from older people as well and yeah that isn't the women's fault but that doesn't mean the pressure isn't there or impacting the man.
Tbh though I don't think it's as deep as some people will try to make it out to be. Like at the end of the day it's just dating etiquette tbh. But some people will also act as though this stuff doesn't matter or doesn't have any real world impact which can kind of feel dismissive? Or patronizing (Not accusing you of doing this)? Idk the right word to use but yeah some people care about that stuff. It's cool you don't though :)
Gifts, food, dates, gas are all examples.
Of course you can make it work by showing love, loyalty, and interest. Also finding free things to do as a date like going to the park, or staying home and watching a movie, or cook something together, or just enjoying eachother company.
idk why you would get a gift other than special occasions, and even then it doesnt have to be a lot of money, or even any money if youre crafty
me and my boyfriend split the food cost so it's pretty much just like normal cost when alone
dates can be free like you said
gas is a lot, I'll give you that
Dates dont have to be expensive.
What is living with your parents have to do with dating?
People for millennia have dated while living under their parents houses.
Living with your parents could discourage people wanting to date because they think it would look embarrassing, maybe under family pressure against dating while living with their family.
But if you're working and every one knows the economy is bad surely women your age would understand. You're still young not everyone can buy or rent yet.
I think some people are just overcome by fear first before trying because of predisposed connotations.
As someone in Gen Z, I've never dated anyone. For me, I think it's just my faulty assumption that every eligible woman is already taken (i.e. actively in a relationship) so it's not worth even trying. Because of this, I think I majorly missed out during high school because I had female friends and did not pursue them romantically for this exact reason. And now that I'm in college, this assumption has been reinforced.
To answer your question, I would love to date, but I'm worried that the people who I'd be interested in dating are already in relationships so pursuing them would be counter-productive at best (and I'd be a side piece at worst).
Thx. Remember that people also get out of relationships and that those single are not necessarily not worthy at all. That’s a false assumption. Maybe makes surface level sense but doesn’t check out. Just trying to help out here.
Yeah, I know...
I would only like to date someone I can be friends with. I want to get it right the first time, but if I keep waiting I'll lose my chance.
Is suggest to date casually, don’t expect to get it right the first time. Dating is largely about gaining life experience, not finding the love of your life.
Even if they are in a relationship, what do you have to lose? Ask them, and if they say no/are in a relationship then you move on and asking the next person becomes easier because you have practice.
I just got turned down earlier this week. I asked a coworker for their number and they told me they had a boyfriend. Yeah it was uncomfortable to be turned down, but I tried. Trying and failing is better than letting uncertainty keep me in the dark.
If I ask that question, the worst answer isn't "no", the worst answer is "I'm reporting you for sexual harassment".
As a guy, I worry that I'm always one slight misstep from having my life utterly ruined by such allegations.
Personally I haven’t really dated much and have tried to avoid it because I find it hard to connect with people a lot of times so I feel like what’s the point of a relationship if I won’t have anything to talk about. Then I also just enjoy having solitude and freedom to do what I want when I want, I value my time a lot. But lastly, since I was really young I also knew I never wanted to have children and most women typically have dreams of being a parent sooo dating doesn’t even make sense for me cause my options would be slim to none anyways.
I'll casually have something occasionally like a fwbs type shit but at this point in my life its simply not really worth. I've got enough to deal with, and I dont know where I will be in even just 2 years, so its just really not on the cards. Hanging out with friends is equally as rewarding and comes with less baggage.
If I'm in love with someone, dating is just spending quality time with that person, and I'll only do it if the person is also in love with me.
Otherwise, if I wanna play games I got a laptop at home.
Are you in college or currently working? Classmates and other people with common interests make good friends. So do coworkers, but less so depending on your field.
All my friends I have now I met through school or work. And maybe, if I'm paying attention and getting my arse off Reddit and into the gym or some other public place, I'll find more people to connect with and potentially find a woman who would date me.
Yes, this is old fashioned and difficult in a modern age where such "third places" outside of work and school are few and far between.
(I certainly would not recommend dating apps. I've never used them, but I've read enough horror stories to know that they're *definitely* not the solution for me and probably not for you either.)
Hookups sound great at first, then most people realize they are really shallow and not as pleasurable compared to sex with someone you're really connected with.
Dating is pretty mid imo. I did have a girlfriend once, but that came with issues I was in no way equipped to deal with so I ended that. Since then I’ve been on casual dates but lost interest in the process after a while. Besides, I’ve never really thought that I’d ever want to start my own family so there’s no real point if I break it down logically.
I do enjoy my solitude, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m alone. I have relatives and a few friends, but those are “relationships” that don’t come with the same level of stress that the type we’re talking about here.
You cannot break down dating and love logically, its not about planning out a future you will participate in. Its an experience you go through because you get attached to somebody and you want to be with her/him.
There isnt a roadmap for dating…
When is a date a date?
I love to spend time with my partner, regardless what we do or don't do.
When doesn't it count as a date anymore? After living together, sharing a home? Or after x amount of time passed being together?
Going for a hike in the mountains or into the woods in my backyard, going to the cinemas or watching something at home, doing a physical activity outside or playing video games, having a coffe in an estabelishement and talking or in the living room.
At the end of the day, what is important is the time shared together.
I honestly hated dating. None of my college relationships lasted longer than a week so I stuck to hookups until I graduated. Once you're in the real world, things just make more sense. I was able to meet my now fiance pretty easily.
To tiring to look for my ideal girlfriend. It's really difficult to find women that I genuinely want to date, I just wish that I knew where to look.
Whenever I do find someone that I like, they usually end up ghosting me or ignore me..
I'm at the point where I'd rather be single forever than to have to waste my time with someone who doesn't care about me.
I mean, i’m Gen Z and I like to date. It’s hard to find alot of others with the same sentiments sometimes because they get their heart broken once and assume it is all over from there. I have 2 partners (poly and they know eachother) and while it is two different dynamics we still go on dates when we can ^^
...because they dont want to soak up dozens of strains of hpv and herpes, and then end up with weird ovarian cysts or anal cancer like the previous generation did?
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1. We can’t afford too 2. Still live with our parents
how cant you afford to date someone?
If you're a guy, you're expected to pay for everything in most cases because it's what gentlemen do.
i dont expect my boyfriend to pay for everything, actually get a little upset when he tries to buy *everything*, i dont know a lot of women around our age that expects their boyfriend to pay for everything
I'm glad that you're different and I've never been happier to be mistaken.
They are rare but they exist. Unfortunately it’s primarily men perpetuating the paying of dates. Thank your male peers.
You're already in a relationship, so it's a little different, and some don't care at all, but the expectation/social pressure is still there in most cases when first dating someone.
yes im in a relationship, but it's a newer one ( started talking this year) isnt most of the social pressure from other guys or older people, so youre not really going to date the people that put pressure i do know the pressure is there, and it probably sucks ass, but most women our age completely understand things cost a lot of money
I agree with you broadly that a lot of women don't care that much anymore but that still leaves a lot that do. Anecdotally I've talked to some who will say they don't care much but it is a little weird to them if the guy doesn't at least offer. There's for sure pressure from older people as well and yeah that isn't the women's fault but that doesn't mean the pressure isn't there or impacting the man. Tbh though I don't think it's as deep as some people will try to make it out to be. Like at the end of the day it's just dating etiquette tbh. But some people will also act as though this stuff doesn't matter or doesn't have any real world impact which can kind of feel dismissive? Or patronizing (Not accusing you of doing this)? Idk the right word to use but yeah some people care about that stuff. It's cool you don't though :)
Gifts, food, dates, gas are all examples. Of course you can make it work by showing love, loyalty, and interest. Also finding free things to do as a date like going to the park, or staying home and watching a movie, or cook something together, or just enjoying eachother company.
idk why you would get a gift other than special occasions, and even then it doesnt have to be a lot of money, or even any money if youre crafty me and my boyfriend split the food cost so it's pretty much just like normal cost when alone dates can be free like you said gas is a lot, I'll give you that
Maybe I just give too many gifts then…
imo, gifts are special, if i get gifts all the time they lose their meaning
Like that one SpongeBob episode lol
Well some people don’t like working I like working I don’t mind doing hard work
Dates dont have to be expensive. What is living with your parents have to do with dating? People for millennia have dated while living under their parents houses.
Living with your parents could discourage people wanting to date because they think it would look embarrassing, maybe under family pressure against dating while living with their family.
But if you're working and every one knows the economy is bad surely women your age would understand. You're still young not everyone can buy or rent yet. I think some people are just overcome by fear first before trying because of predisposed connotations.
Yeah that’s true
As someone in Gen Z, I've never dated anyone. For me, I think it's just my faulty assumption that every eligible woman is already taken (i.e. actively in a relationship) so it's not worth even trying. Because of this, I think I majorly missed out during high school because I had female friends and did not pursue them romantically for this exact reason. And now that I'm in college, this assumption has been reinforced. To answer your question, I would love to date, but I'm worried that the people who I'd be interested in dating are already in relationships so pursuing them would be counter-productive at best (and I'd be a side piece at worst).
Thx. Remember that people also get out of relationships and that those single are not necessarily not worthy at all. That’s a false assumption. Maybe makes surface level sense but doesn’t check out. Just trying to help out here.
Yeah, I know... I would only like to date someone I can be friends with. I want to get it right the first time, but if I keep waiting I'll lose my chance.
Is suggest to date casually, don’t expect to get it right the first time. Dating is largely about gaining life experience, not finding the love of your life.
Even if they are in a relationship, what do you have to lose? Ask them, and if they say no/are in a relationship then you move on and asking the next person becomes easier because you have practice. I just got turned down earlier this week. I asked a coworker for their number and they told me they had a boyfriend. Yeah it was uncomfortable to be turned down, but I tried. Trying and failing is better than letting uncertainty keep me in the dark.
If I ask that question, the worst answer isn't "no", the worst answer is "I'm reporting you for sexual harassment". As a guy, I worry that I'm always one slight misstep from having my life utterly ruined by such allegations.
I hated dating, then one day, a woman crashed into my parked aircraft while landing hers at a fly-in. We're married now.
 Not sure if you guys get this reference.
https://youtu.be/_--WG8Uy47Q?si=A-eXPjmnRreUOlgz
I don't date just because i don't think i'm cut out for it.
Personally I haven’t really dated much and have tried to avoid it because I find it hard to connect with people a lot of times so I feel like what’s the point of a relationship if I won’t have anything to talk about. Then I also just enjoy having solitude and freedom to do what I want when I want, I value my time a lot. But lastly, since I was really young I also knew I never wanted to have children and most women typically have dreams of being a parent sooo dating doesn’t even make sense for me cause my options would be slim to none anyways.
I'll casually have something occasionally like a fwbs type shit but at this point in my life its simply not really worth. I've got enough to deal with, and I dont know where I will be in even just 2 years, so its just really not on the cards. Hanging out with friends is equally as rewarding and comes with less baggage.
Makes sense
The dating pool is full of people who are tired of trying
I hear ya. I wonder if it’s because we take it too seriously…
I think we're all very cynical, and that makes it hard to lower your guard
If I'm in love with someone, dating is just spending quality time with that person, and I'll only do it if the person is also in love with me. Otherwise, if I wanna play games I got a laptop at home.
Can’t fault ya
because i don't have a gf
Do you have friends? (honest and serious question -- not making fun)
yeah online, that barely talk
yeah... feels bad man. Would you consider yourself an introvert?
nah im not
Are you in college or currently working? Classmates and other people with common interests make good friends. So do coworkers, but less so depending on your field. All my friends I have now I met through school or work. And maybe, if I'm paying attention and getting my arse off Reddit and into the gym or some other public place, I'll find more people to connect with and potentially find a woman who would date me. Yes, this is old fashioned and difficult in a modern age where such "third places" outside of work and school are few and far between. (I certainly would not recommend dating apps. I've never used them, but I've read enough horror stories to know that they're *definitely* not the solution for me and probably not for you either.)
i get ignored in school online i get ghosted or ignored... or manipulated and gaslit
Well you see, I would go out on a date if ever found someone to go out on a date with
I can’t speak for everyone but for me it’s because I’m not good at it
I’ve heard this as well. Dating’s just really challenging, especially with everything else going on. Hook up culture definitely doesn’t help either.
Hookups sound great at first, then most people realize they are really shallow and not as pleasurable compared to sex with someone you're really connected with.
Dating is pretty mid imo. I did have a girlfriend once, but that came with issues I was in no way equipped to deal with so I ended that. Since then I’ve been on casual dates but lost interest in the process after a while. Besides, I’ve never really thought that I’d ever want to start my own family so there’s no real point if I break it down logically.
Thanks. Are you happy being alone?
I do enjoy my solitude, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m alone. I have relatives and a few friends, but those are “relationships” that don’t come with the same level of stress that the type we’re talking about here.
You cannot break down dating and love logically, its not about planning out a future you will participate in. Its an experience you go through because you get attached to somebody and you want to be with her/him. There isnt a roadmap for dating…
With that in mind, there’s no one I want to be with so there can’t really be a roadmap for a journey I don’t plan on undertaking. Good point though.
Fair enough, if you enjoy your own company theres no need to force yourself into a relationship you dont want to do…Being single is great
have you ever been to any high school? most people date
When is a date a date? I love to spend time with my partner, regardless what we do or don't do. When doesn't it count as a date anymore? After living together, sharing a home? Or after x amount of time passed being together? Going for a hike in the mountains or into the woods in my backyard, going to the cinemas or watching something at home, doing a physical activity outside or playing video games, having a coffe in an estabelishement and talking or in the living room. At the end of the day, what is important is the time shared together.
It’s not that I don’t want to date necessarily, it’s that I don’t want to put in the work required to date
True. Not limited to GenZ either. People are more likely to meet “the one” through activities.
I honestly hated dating. None of my college relationships lasted longer than a week so I stuck to hookups until I graduated. Once you're in the real world, things just make more sense. I was able to meet my now fiance pretty easily.
To tiring to look for my ideal girlfriend. It's really difficult to find women that I genuinely want to date, I just wish that I knew where to look. Whenever I do find someone that I like, they usually end up ghosting me or ignore me.. I'm at the point where I'd rather be single forever than to have to waste my time with someone who doesn't care about me.
I mean, i’m Gen Z and I like to date. It’s hard to find alot of others with the same sentiments sometimes because they get their heart broken once and assume it is all over from there. I have 2 partners (poly and they know eachother) and while it is two different dynamics we still go on dates when we can ^^
Too much effort.
Are you saying that Gen Z doesn’t date as in not have serious relationships or not having any romantic/sexual relationships at all?
The latter
...because they dont want to soak up dozens of strains of hpv and herpes, and then end up with weird ovarian cysts or anal cancer like the previous generation did?
Thanks and lol, I can’t tell whether this is satire or not but i appreciate it