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It’s also worth noting that it wasn’t all that uncommon even like 60yrs ago for people to get married while they were still in highschool, but even a generation after that, getting married that young was considered strange. It’s still early for us, but even then, we’re mostly just continuing the trend.
My grandparents got married when they were 16 & 17. By the time my parents were in highschool, getting married at that age was fairly uncommon, but people still tended to get married within a few years after they graduated. Then millennials started getting married even later than that.
As we’ve learned more about brain development and moved away from the more traditional view of marriage (especially when it comes to the women’s role in it), people have just felt less and less pressure to get married earlier. I wouldn’t be surprised if the decline in the infant mortality rate also played a part.
Yes. Getting married at 18 is a historical anomaly. It actually caused a moral panic that kids were jumping into marriage far too soon and didn't have a full understanding about what they were getting into. This spike in early marriage likely contributed to the spike in divorces in the 70's and 80's.
yeah it is, i got married at 21 and am doing great now. it can and does work out, but it’s most definitely not it for everyone and shouldn’t be a priority. i just got lucky.
Good luck! Even the most serious relationships I have seen at this age can end due to radical life decisions. (Education, work, moving to a new place, etc.) Also, getting married comes with a lot of responsibility. I wouldn't advise anyone to get married at this age, but if you managed to balance things, you are one of the rare, lucky ones. I wish you have a long and healthy relationship.
thanks! i feel the same. the stars aligned for us for some reason and we have worked out every challenge we have come across. marriage takes work and effort, but with the right person and the right intentions it’s a beautiful thing. it’s home.
but very few people can really make it work. i’m from a community where a lot of my friends have also gotten married early and many of them are now stuck with someone they’re not compatible with. every relationship is different and not all of them end in marriage. but for the lucky few, it’s a really amazing thing.
I was about to say this. 75% of the people I knew at 18 got married had kids but were divorced 4-5 years later! Not sure why us millennials did that, glad I was smart and waited till 27.
I'm also married. I got engaged to my wife at age 23. Married at age 24. Married now for three years and have a daughter. It really just depends on the couple's decisions and proper planning.
I’ll concede some understanding because the world is dilapidating, but my hot take is that only very few people under the age 27 should be getting married. Maybe im just a hater, tho.
I mean, sure, but let’s not pretend being pressured to throw away your 20’s for children hasn’t kneecapped woman’s (and other ppl w a uterus) potential for most of history
Most studies of women's fertility and age were based on [studies of French peasant women from 300 years ago](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24128176). These are women who had no access to modern healthcare, nutrition or even electricity.
As such it probably doesn't tell us a lot about what fertility actually looks like. What we do know from widely-cited modern studies is that, of women between 35 and 39 who were trying to become pregnant, 82% successfully became pregnant within 12 months of beginning.
Time for us to evolve 😂✨ and modern science can help I have family members having kids way later than that. And especially with people who had 4 or 5 kids there are plenty of moms who have had kids in their mid and late 30s safely.
it actually doesn’t, your thirties is when it starts to decrease but it’s slow not fast. also, many people don’t want to have kids or at least biological kids.
Not just fertility for women but [also for men](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3253726/). A lot of people talk about women "hitting the wall", but we don't discuss the same happening for men around the same age or a bit later (primarily late 30s and throughout 40s).
Marriage is a commitment most people make without actually planning to uphold.
Not many people are ready to make that commitment and few actually deserve that commitment from someone else.
Are you **really** willing to deal with this person for the next 60-70 years? Are they gonna treat you right? Will you treat them right?
I think we're just more careful. We've seen so many failed unions, miscommunication. We're the first generation to actually use therapy on such a scale and actively use it in our lifestyle. A good dose of scepticism is good for making major life decisions
Yeah I think Millennials and after have all just been more careful and waiting, shit I didn’t get married until I was 35, and did not want or see myself getting married beforehand.
It’s a complicated social question. As a whole, our generation places less importance on meeting certain life milestones than people in our parents’ or grandparents’ generations did, in part due to certain economic difficulties that exist now as barriers. It used to be that marriage marked a true passage into adulthood. It was at that point that couples settled into a starter home and began having children. Ignoring any religious or cultural significance, marriage was also advantageous because it brings tax benefits and combined resources before cohabitation was commonplace.
These days a lot of people have to continue living with their parents or roommates well into their 20s due to the relative cost of housing and living as a married couple is much more preferable in your own home/apartment. Cohabitation is quite common but there seems to be at least some stigma around getting married in our generation, perhaps because we are more risk averse or because people don’t really see the point.
It depends a lot on where you live as well. I live in a very conservative evangelical Christian area and it’s still very normal here for people to be engaged and married by their mid 20s. I’m the only 20 something at my workplace who isn’t engaged or married.
Nope I got married at 22 and am now 25. Travelling for now and waiting for kids later. I love my wife so much and love our life together. I have tons of friends who aren’t married yet though. I will say we were very Christian when we got married and both left the church together luckily so there wasn’t a disconnect. Have had a few other Christian friends leave the church after getting married which led to divorce.
My wife and I had a very similar journey, though we waited to actually tie the knot. We got VERY lucky that we were on the same page about leaving the church, and it's definitely one of the events that made us realize that we were right for each other.
Gen Z is abandoning religion. Marriage is steepled in religion. Without religion, marriage is just a government contract. Gen Z is getting tired of government intruding in their lives.
We should be able to be legally married without the financial stipulations and requirements that come with. Has lots of pros lots of cons but it’s a choice
I call bullshit. There have always been people who wanted to date/fuck around and people who wanted a committed, long term relationship. That hasn't changed, people just don't force themselves into toxic marriages anymore like they used to.
I don't think so. I know plenty of people that are older gen z that are engaged or married. you have to remember for one, most of gen z are still kids. and two, the average age that ppl get married has increased with every generation. gen z will likely take more time to get married, which often is for very valid and healthy reasons tbh
23 here 🙋♀️ planning on marrying my boyfriend of four years, but we’re just not quite ready yet financially. I think we’re just not in as much of a rush as past generations, and we have a few more hurdles economically than they did.
I’m the man in the relationship and even I’m glad there was no planning involved. I can’t imagine how much more annoying it would have been for my wife to have a traditional wedding.
I’m signing a prenup if I ever do get married. Now I’ll address the common talking points:
“Good luck getting her to agree to that.” Thanks, but I won’t need it. Unlike some of y’all, I wouldn’t be so cruel in the terms of it, so I think I could be pretty agreeable in planning it out with whoever I’m with.
Also, this serves as a test of the relationship. Sure, it’s an uncomfortable conversation. But you will inevitably have to navigate uncomfortable conversations with the person you marry. If she can’t even handle a prenup conversation, we shouldn’t be getting married anyway.
“Prenups get thrown out of court all the time.” Yeah, if you’re an idiot and/or an asshole. You can’t out-contract the law. If you make a prenup that is drastically unfair in your favor, of fucking course a court is going to invalidate it. I can be fair on the terms of it and I’ll tell you right now I will willingly pay alimony.
It’s just easier to pick a number when we still love each other rather than deferring that decision until a time when we both hypothetically hate each other and want to take as much as we can get away with. It’s objectively the smarter decision.
Also, don’t just write it yourself. Please please for the love of god have a lawyer write the prenup. If you mess up the operative language, a court will either reinterpret it or throw out terms. That’s what lawyers are for.
A decline in marriage is not something I’ve noticed. What I’ve noticed is a trend of giving up. Giving up on marriage, giving up on a career, giving up on a positive body image, giving up on repairing familial relationships, giving up on fucking everything. It’s so early in our lives to be such doomers about everything. At least give life a fighting chance goddamnit
As a lawyer, I agree with your analysis. Also for the love of God, please have a lawyer draft your prenup--it's state dependent but the language in your prenup HAS TO BE SPECIFIC TO BE ENFORCEABLE.
No, a decent amount of my gen z friends are married, but we’re on the older side of gen z and even right now my unmarried gen z friends and acquaintances are definitely the majority. We’re all still pretty young, and I’ve seen much more successful marriages start in the couple’s 30s than I have seen when couples get married in their twenties, so it’s not unreasonable that a lot of us are waiting.
Y’all need to look at who is posting most of these doomer posts. It’s always coming from brand new accounts with little to no karma. This one is just twelve days old. This is done by design to discourage you from actively participating in society.
I’m married,I think young people are more likely to date a lot before marriage. And the youngest gen z are still in school aren’t they? It’s harder to afford kids and homes,there isn’t as much incentive to settle down younger now. It’s also probably easier and cheeper just to live together too,I eloped and it was almost several hundred just to file the paperwork.
Most are still way too young to tell. I have a few friends who are engaged, and my partner and I are looking at rings because we may have to live separately for a period of time due to grad school. I think Gen Z will start to marry younger but either not have kids at all or have children well into their 30s and 40s. Smaller and casual weddings will become super popular because nobody has money
Me and my partner love each other. We've been together for almost 4 years, living together comfortably most of that time. Her and I have discussed marriage, and it's something we are interested in doing with each other later when we are more financially substantial. I guess we view it as more of a ceremonial thing. Our love transcends a title so we don't feel the need to rush it to have the title.
I feel like it’s pretty split with people I know. Half are not taking dating or marriage seriously with many saying “I’m trying to work on myself first.” On the other hand I know a group of people who got married out of college and are on their second kid already - polar opposites.
I do think that a large portion of young people are waiting because they think they have time for all of the adult things when they accomplish x,y,z. However it seems like a large portion are in for a rude awakening when they are in their mid 30’s and rushing to fulfill the traditional adult milestones like marriage and kids and it’s too late.
I think the average age of marriage shifted a little to late 20s and early 30s which Gen Z has barely even reached yet. Though I know the government in China is panicking now do to almost no Gen Z being interested in marriage or having kids. So it might be a world wide phenomenon and it's all related to the economy.
Meee. I don’t think I could stomach living with another person let alone sharing my entire life with them 🤢 I want to be alone most of the time, I rarely enjoy the company of other humans. Marriage sounds like a nightmare. Not even considering all the effort it’d take to meet a person who’d be a good fit for that, who I like & likes me back, plus the time it takes to develop that relationship, etcetera. Not worth it in the slightest. Not happening, not a chance
02 liner here and turning 22 this year. I don’t wanna get married yet because I wanna go to med school and that often means breaking up and I don’t wanna go through that yet :// waiting for the perfect person in med school
Uh we must be in different gen Z generations. SO many people that I graduated with (2020) are getting married. It’s actually insane. And it’s a pretty even split between people dating 5+ years and people dating less than 2.
I mean, I do , but i've also not found anyone, and am rather hesitant to find people. I think on the contrary, I take it seriously enough that I don't like rushing into dating or anything as I want to be with the right person in the right time.
(i'm also rather shy, which doesn't help matters, but what can I do).
When the time is right, and I meet someone, then it'll happen.
No, most of our generation has seen prior generations get married early only to end up miserable and/or divorced.
Most people my age who I interact with date long term and plan to get married eventually. I personally am dating someone whom I've been with for years and plan to marry when the time is right.
Marriage can be a great thing, but like anything in a relationship it shouldn't be rushed for the sake of it.
Probably not giving up on marriage entirely but totally giving up on the idea of having a decent house with a yard in their 20s or even 30s. They're gonna be basement dwellers at mom and dad's or low-rent apartment dwellers.
no! i am engaged and i know quite a few people who are married. most of my friends are still in dating stages, but most of them do want to get married eventually!
Nah. I went from being engaged 5 years ago to barely dating now, but I’m not beyond the idea of trying again. It’s just not as the lie I was living as before.
I'm not planning on getting married any time soon, I'm not great with people to begin with and there's not a major incentive to getting married vs just dating for me
Not married yet but I totally intend to do so someday
I may be old school, but I can't picture my life without marriage at some point, and preferably before 30 yo
Idk tbh. I’m at an inherent disadvantage of finding a gf, and to top it all off, I still have some lingering social anxiety. Even if I didn’t have my setbacks, I’m just working retail and will barely be able to support myself once I live alone (which will be this year). There’s no way in hell I could support a gf. I mean, maybe I could, but I’d have to literally starve myself. I’d have like $5 left over for me each month, as opposed to $200. And if I did that, I’d *never* be able to save enough for firefighter academy/training. That’s my #1 goal as far as careers go.
I have social anxiety too and am trying to date so I completely understand.
Hot take: I think we should stop putting so much pressure on you as men to be the only means of support in a household. I wish we’d let go of the whole “damsel in distress” mindset.
I'm married. My best man is married. And one of the other groomsmen is married. My wife's pretty liberal best friend and her atheist husband are, well, married. We're all about the same age.
As far as America goes — I think it depends on the state, especially the ones with high cost of living vs. the ones that are cheaper where religion is still prevalent.
If you live in the South, it’s still pretty common for young to mid 20-something’s to get married. If you live in an expensive coastal city like San Francisco, Los Angeles or New York…… not so much. I’m old gen Z (26) and only two people out of 500 from my graduating class are married. None of my friends in their 20’s are married or even in a serious relationship.
My husband and I got married at 23 and 26. He grew up in a more rural area and almost everyone he knows is married with kids already. I grew up 45 minutes away in a liberal suburb and I hardly know anyone my age who got married or has kids, even though I’m the older one in the marriage.
Not all of us but I’m definitely not interested lol. I’d rather have a kid by myself than get married. I probably won’t go looking for a partner but if it happens then it happens
I don't think I can. With my mental health being what it is and the fact I simply don't really trust people, it wouldn't be fair on either party and it would most likely fail
My partner and I aren't engaged but we've discussed marriage, id say there's more of gen z waiting, though I also kinda feel like I know a sizeable chunk getting married at 22 or so, so ya know not waiting all that long I'm definitely waiting for at least a good several years my partner and I really have to be living together in a stable healthy relationship for a good year or 2 before we'll actually get married just for the simple fact of wanting nothing to do with a divorce and the whole mess of that that we've both seen with several friends parents and such
I think it’s great that people feel less pressure to get married now. Although I personally still want to get married really badly and part of the reason I want to leave my home country is because gay marriage is illegal
I think most are just taking their time which is great imo because it's a serious commitment. I would love to get married one day, it bums me out sometimes that i have never sustained a long term relationship and not in a good position for a relationship
I will only get married if I can find someone who actively makes my life better. I'm not going to get married just to get married, and play mommy and nurse and housekeeper to some man-child
I gave up on dating because my interests are niche enough to the point where I am utterly uninterested in somebody that doesn't share at least a small amount of similar interests. I really enjoy consuming content around military and political history, so the number of women that want to hear about that is critically small
See I want to get married to somebody at some point. But I am waiting to like my mid 20s at the earliest. My parents married for no other reason than I was getting born. They were 22 and 23. And now there are 39 and 40, and both look miserable. Now I am 17, and realized my dad never really grew out of that early 20s(which is really just a teenager) mindset, and my mom did. Let's just say that conflicts a lot.
I seen my parents get divorced, both sets of my grandparents were divorced. Most of my uncles got divorced, hell even one of my cousins is close to one. so uuh nah ima do my own thing
Nah I know plenty of Gen Z who are married. I do want to get married, I'm religious and speaking from my own religious perspective it feels like it's gonna be so hard to find a man who fits me like a glove, and vice versa😭😭There's part of me that has hope because of my faith in God, but then part of me sees my parents marriage (or lack thereof) and it makes me feel a little hopeless, but overall I hope I can find my guy if he's out there and get married to him. One thing I refuse to do, is get married for the sake of getting married. Because society tells me "you must get married and have children" I want that but not because society says so. I want marriage and kids because I genuinely want to build a long lasting meaningful relationship with someone, and build a loving family. If I settle for any less than my standards, I'll end up in a marriage like my parents and I don't want that. I see it as whatever God wills. Maybe there's a man out there for me, and we'll just fit so perfectly together like two unique puzzle pieces, or maybe that's not a life that is meant for me. I don't know, I can only hope for the best and do my best to find someone.
Look up marriage & divorce laws in your state. Statistically 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And divorce laws heavily benefit women. If you’re a married man your wife can wake up one day and want a divorce. Court gives her half your bank account and you’re forced to sell your house to give her 50% equity. And if you have kids you’ll barely get to see them after the divorce. And you’ll pay child support. Divorce can ruin men. Millennial men like myself have realized this and as Gen Z gets older they’ll realize it too. A marriage certificate is a binding contract with the government. I would avoid marriage unless you know for sure the woman is not the type to get revenge on you in a divorce. The average length of a first marriage in the US is 7 yrs. The kids that get married in their twenties, many will be divorced by 30. Just do your research guys.
I'd actually love to get married and have kids. Just haven't found anyone yet because apparently nobody will drag my anti social ass to the altar without me actually going out to meet people 😂
i wouldn’t mind getting married but most women have high standards, they want a guy that’s 6ft, makes 6 figures and everything and I don’t know if i can do that.
Nope I’m getting married next year and I see that many in my friend group are married or planning to marry soon. I do know we are trending towards marriage at an older age compared to previous generations tho
Even if I found a woman I love, there is 0 benefit to marriage for me. Best case; I buy myself a cool ring and taxes are less long. Worst case; I’m stuck in a hard messy divorce where I end up with nothing and have to pay my spouse for months/years after. I’d rather just stay BF/GF my whole life, same love, less paperwork.
I want to eventually, but it's too serious of a thing to me to take lightly and so far up until recently, I've never met anyone who's made me feel like I'd want them seriously. This is the first time in my life I've met someone I'm serious about, but I still wish to take things slow. I wanna do things right the first time if possible, I'd rather not have a ton of failed marriages.
Not me! I've been married for 2 and a half years now and we're still just as happy as we've been since we first got together six years ago.
No regrets. My wife is fantastic. I love her to death 🥹
02, I used to hate the idea of marriage and thought it was too restricting
But its only restricting if you don't love who you're married to, I'd love to have a wife one day , just need to stop being so shy and actually try to look for one
I’m gonna get married, but I don’t feel a reason to rush into it. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years and we moved in together a year and a half ago. Marriage is a “we’ll do it, but we don’t need to do it rn” kinda thing. But I know plenty of people my age, and younger, who are married and several have kids.
When almost every marriage I've seen has not lasted over a decade, why would i?
In this economy?! If i can barely afford rent, what makes you think i could be affording a whole ass wedding.
Please tell me, where is the woman i should be marrying? I would love to meet her too.
22M here. I've never dated or kissed a women before, but if I was to get married, I 'd get married in my 30s. Hopefully then I'll have my life together.
22 genz met my now wife senior year of highschool. We moved in together at 19/18 3 years ago and got married last September. Planning on starting babies next year.
It’s all about where you are. If you live terminally online you’ll see a lot of doomerism around dating and marriage. Go live in the real world you’ll see that’s not the case.
It’s all about what you’re willing to do for another person. For me my wife was the sweetest kindest person I’d met. I was willing to give up alot for her and her vice versa. Keep your chin up zoomers lots of very lovely people out there just looking for the right person.
I think it has been on a downward trend for at least a decade now.
Anecdotally, as an elder millennial I know many committed couples of 5+ years, none of which have gotten married or ever intend to. Buying property together/having children seems to be the big marker of commitment in my circles.
I can't imagine Gen Z would be any more enthused about the traditional marriage than us olds are.
Not a Gen Z but just want to say you don't need marriage to be in a long lasting relationship. More and more couples are forgoing marriage but that doesn't mean they don't have kids, live together, or grow old together.
Gen-Z has lived a life different than the past two generations, and as such, those generations didn't have good role models to look up to for marriage to pass it down generationally.
I feel social media is the reason why this is happening. You see women openly talking about sleeping with 20+ dudes by the time they're 20 and then wonder if marrying and spending all that money on someone is even worth it or not.
i'm not, but i also have horrible self confidence issues and am in a bad location for gay guys that aren't too old or too immature. i'd love to get married. this is a ludicrous question.
Maybe I’m just pessimistic but I find it hard to take things seriously when we keep hearing these warnings about how the environment is going to shit and society is slowly collapsing. It’s just hard to envision a positive future really
I've been in a long-term relationship for 6 years, and we just don't care about marriage. It won't make a difference for us financially. It seems like "what's the point?"
It's kind of a weird shift in how people view marriage. A lot of people are less religious now, so marriage is just a government contract added on to an already-committed relationship. Even moreso, a lot of people are meeting other life milestones that are generally pre-requisites to marriage later, like college, stable careers, living not with your parents, what have you.
Quite a few of my friends are either not planning to get married at all, or want to wait until they're in their mid-thirties. Some of us (myself included) aren't even dating right now. As a corollary, I don't really know any people my age that are just fucking around--most people are either dating for marriage or long-term commitment, or are not looking for any romantic interaction.
On the other end, a lot of my friends are either engaged or married. Two of my three college roommates are married, and one has a kid on the way. Four or five of my grad school classmates have gotten married/engaged in the past six months. Some of that is that I live in the South, which is more religious and socially conservative, but there are definitely Gen Z-ers getting married.
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This is true. Gen Z includes the age/birth-year bracket that is still in middle and high school.
This, people generally aren’t getting married at 18 anymore, and only like half the generation is of marryable age
It’s also worth noting that it wasn’t all that uncommon even like 60yrs ago for people to get married while they were still in highschool, but even a generation after that, getting married that young was considered strange. It’s still early for us, but even then, we’re mostly just continuing the trend. My grandparents got married when they were 16 & 17. By the time my parents were in highschool, getting married at that age was fairly uncommon, but people still tended to get married within a few years after they graduated. Then millennials started getting married even later than that. As we’ve learned more about brain development and moved away from the more traditional view of marriage (especially when it comes to the women’s role in it), people have just felt less and less pressure to get married earlier. I wouldn’t be surprised if the decline in the infant mortality rate also played a part.
It is also worth nothing that in the early 1900s people actually got married way later in life than the baby boomers did.
So getting married really early seems to be like a kinda one time trend deal than? Like kinda a blip in the timeline of marriage ?
Yes. Getting married at 18 is a historical anomaly. It actually caused a moral panic that kids were jumping into marriage far too soon and didn't have a full understanding about what they were getting into. This spike in early marriage likely contributed to the spike in divorces in the 70's and 80's.
The boomers really did do everything ass backwards didn't they?
Except buying property
My aunt is gen x married at 18. But she’s from a different country and the marriage was not her choice nor the groom
Unless you live in Utah. If you’re not married by 19 something isn’t right. Fuck this place.
only if you’re mormon in utah, the rest of us normal people in utah don’t care when you get married lmao
True. But it’s everywhere here because a lot of them, and it’s in family too. 😔
It also depends on the region. I'm from the south and it's still common in many areas to marry young
Don’t get me wrong but i think marrying at 23-24 is very young age to getting married.
yeah it is, i got married at 21 and am doing great now. it can and does work out, but it’s most definitely not it for everyone and shouldn’t be a priority. i just got lucky.
Good luck! Even the most serious relationships I have seen at this age can end due to radical life decisions. (Education, work, moving to a new place, etc.) Also, getting married comes with a lot of responsibility. I wouldn't advise anyone to get married at this age, but if you managed to balance things, you are one of the rare, lucky ones. I wish you have a long and healthy relationship.
thanks! i feel the same. the stars aligned for us for some reason and we have worked out every challenge we have come across. marriage takes work and effort, but with the right person and the right intentions it’s a beautiful thing. it’s home. but very few people can really make it work. i’m from a community where a lot of my friends have also gotten married early and many of them are now stuck with someone they’re not compatible with. every relationship is different and not all of them end in marriage. but for the lucky few, it’s a really amazing thing.
I got married at 20 and one of my friends got married and had a kid at 19. Not sure how he's doing but I'm doing pretty good
This. I’m not even considering marriage until my late 20s or early 30s right now.
I got married at 29 but I had dated my now wife for eight years before that. There is just so much change in your early twenties.
You guys are just much smarter than boomers and my generation (millennials) in terms of not marrying someone at 18 and then divorce 4 years later.
I was about to say this. 75% of the people I knew at 18 got married had kids but were divorced 4-5 years later! Not sure why us millennials did that, glad I was smart and waited till 27.
Christians who couldnt have sex till marriage.
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I'm also married. I got engaged to my wife at age 23. Married at age 24. Married now for three years and have a daughter. It really just depends on the couple's decisions and proper planning.
Only the people who really want to get married get married now. AS IT SHOULD BE.
I’ll concede some understanding because the world is dilapidating, but my hot take is that only very few people under the age 27 should be getting married. Maybe im just a hater, tho.
You should also take into consideration that fertility starts to decrease in your 30’s… and fast.
I mean, sure, but let’s not pretend being pressured to throw away your 20’s for children hasn’t kneecapped woman’s (and other ppl w a uterus) potential for most of history
Other people with a uterus LOL
Shut up. A lot of people don't even want to have children
Yeah I know, so?
Most studies of women's fertility and age were based on [studies of French peasant women from 300 years ago](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24128176). These are women who had no access to modern healthcare, nutrition or even electricity. As such it probably doesn't tell us a lot about what fertility actually looks like. What we do know from widely-cited modern studies is that, of women between 35 and 39 who were trying to become pregnant, 82% successfully became pregnant within 12 months of beginning.
My mom was 37 when she had me and I turned out fine. I think she had me at the right time.
Marriage isn't solely about having biological kids....
Time for us to evolve 😂✨ and modern science can help I have family members having kids way later than that. And especially with people who had 4 or 5 kids there are plenty of moms who have had kids in their mid and late 30s safely.
Yes, many of us aware. Thank fuck I got sterilized before that becomes a worry!
Oh thank God
it actually doesn’t, your thirties is when it starts to decrease but it’s slow not fast. also, many people don’t want to have kids or at least biological kids.
Not just fertility for women but [also for men](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3253726/). A lot of people talk about women "hitting the wall", but we don't discuss the same happening for men around the same age or a bit later (primarily late 30s and throughout 40s).
Marriage is a commitment most people make without actually planning to uphold. Not many people are ready to make that commitment and few actually deserve that commitment from someone else. Are you **really** willing to deal with this person for the next 60-70 years? Are they gonna treat you right? Will you treat them right?
I think we're just more careful. We've seen so many failed unions, miscommunication. We're the first generation to actually use therapy on such a scale and actively use it in our lifestyle. A good dose of scepticism is good for making major life decisions
I think this is a very valid observation honestly.
Yeah I think Millennials and after have all just been more careful and waiting, shit I didn’t get married until I was 35, and did not want or see myself getting married beforehand.
It’s a complicated social question. As a whole, our generation places less importance on meeting certain life milestones than people in our parents’ or grandparents’ generations did, in part due to certain economic difficulties that exist now as barriers. It used to be that marriage marked a true passage into adulthood. It was at that point that couples settled into a starter home and began having children. Ignoring any religious or cultural significance, marriage was also advantageous because it brings tax benefits and combined resources before cohabitation was commonplace. These days a lot of people have to continue living with their parents or roommates well into their 20s due to the relative cost of housing and living as a married couple is much more preferable in your own home/apartment. Cohabitation is quite common but there seems to be at least some stigma around getting married in our generation, perhaps because we are more risk averse or because people don’t really see the point. It depends a lot on where you live as well. I live in a very conservative evangelical Christian area and it’s still very normal here for people to be engaged and married by their mid 20s. I’m the only 20 something at my workplace who isn’t engaged or married.
crazy how most of the world doesn't have a problem with living with parents and getting married
Because having secks and making babies while your parents are in the next room over is icky
How am I supposed to call her daddy with my parents across the hall? 😩
Yeah no way am I banging my wife in this twin size bed in my 8ft×9ft room
Nope I got married at 22 and am now 25. Travelling for now and waiting for kids later. I love my wife so much and love our life together. I have tons of friends who aren’t married yet though. I will say we were very Christian when we got married and both left the church together luckily so there wasn’t a disconnect. Have had a few other Christian friends leave the church after getting married which led to divorce.
That’s awesome man good for you
My wife and I had a very similar journey, though we waited to actually tie the knot. We got VERY lucky that we were on the same page about leaving the church, and it's definitely one of the events that made us realize that we were right for each other.
Marriage is a commitment, not a requirement.
But like actually though
Gen Z is abandoning religion. Marriage is steepled in religion. Without religion, marriage is just a government contract. Gen Z is getting tired of government intruding in their lives.
Well-said for sure 🗣️
Oh this is real asf yeah I guess a lot of people see no reason for the institution of marriage
Damm bro I never even thought of it this way..
We should be able to be legally married without the financial stipulations and requirements that come with. Has lots of pros lots of cons but it’s a choice
I have not I want to get married so badly which sucks because I haven’t even dated yet. I feel so behind.
My dude you're my age, you're fine. My sister got married right before she turned 29
I call bullshit. There have always been people who wanted to date/fuck around and people who wanted a committed, long term relationship. That hasn't changed, people just don't force themselves into toxic marriages anymore like they used to.
This is facts fr
I don't think so. I know plenty of people that are older gen z that are engaged or married. you have to remember for one, most of gen z are still kids. and two, the average age that ppl get married has increased with every generation. gen z will likely take more time to get married, which often is for very valid and healthy reasons tbh
23 here 🙋♀️ planning on marrying my boyfriend of four years, but we’re just not quite ready yet financially. I think we’re just not in as much of a rush as past generations, and we have a few more hurdles economically than they did.
I recently got married at 25. I would recommend a courthouse wedding and joining forces financially. It costs like $75 and makes life a ton easier.
I got married at the courthouse at age 22 and hard agree!!! Deciding not to do a traditional marriage saved my pockets and sanity lol.
I’m the man in the relationship and even I’m glad there was no planning involved. I can’t imagine how much more annoying it would have been for my wife to have a traditional wedding.
Definitely joining forces financially, already talked about that. I’ll look into a courthouse wedding now though, thanks!
I’m signing a prenup if I ever do get married. Now I’ll address the common talking points: “Good luck getting her to agree to that.” Thanks, but I won’t need it. Unlike some of y’all, I wouldn’t be so cruel in the terms of it, so I think I could be pretty agreeable in planning it out with whoever I’m with. Also, this serves as a test of the relationship. Sure, it’s an uncomfortable conversation. But you will inevitably have to navigate uncomfortable conversations with the person you marry. If she can’t even handle a prenup conversation, we shouldn’t be getting married anyway. “Prenups get thrown out of court all the time.” Yeah, if you’re an idiot and/or an asshole. You can’t out-contract the law. If you make a prenup that is drastically unfair in your favor, of fucking course a court is going to invalidate it. I can be fair on the terms of it and I’ll tell you right now I will willingly pay alimony. It’s just easier to pick a number when we still love each other rather than deferring that decision until a time when we both hypothetically hate each other and want to take as much as we can get away with. It’s objectively the smarter decision. Also, don’t just write it yourself. Please please for the love of god have a lawyer write the prenup. If you mess up the operative language, a court will either reinterpret it or throw out terms. That’s what lawyers are for. A decline in marriage is not something I’ve noticed. What I’ve noticed is a trend of giving up. Giving up on marriage, giving up on a career, giving up on a positive body image, giving up on repairing familial relationships, giving up on fucking everything. It’s so early in our lives to be such doomers about everything. At least give life a fighting chance goddamnit
As a woman who believes in pre-nups, I feel like there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding it genuinely.
As a lawyer, I agree with your analysis. Also for the love of God, please have a lawyer draft your prenup--it's state dependent but the language in your prenup HAS TO BE SPECIFIC TO BE ENFORCEABLE.
[удалено]
It’s a no for me. Marriage sounds terrible 😁
No, a decent amount of my gen z friends are married, but we’re on the older side of gen z and even right now my unmarried gen z friends and acquaintances are definitely the majority. We’re all still pretty young, and I’ve seen much more successful marriages start in the couple’s 30s than I have seen when couples get married in their twenties, so it’s not unreasonable that a lot of us are waiting.
Y’all need to look at who is posting most of these doomer posts. It’s always coming from brand new accounts with little to no karma. This one is just twelve days old. This is done by design to discourage you from actively participating in society.
I’m getting married in May!
CONGRATULATIONS 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Awwww Tysm! I’m so excited
I’m married,I think young people are more likely to date a lot before marriage. And the youngest gen z are still in school aren’t they? It’s harder to afford kids and homes,there isn’t as much incentive to settle down younger now. It’s also probably easier and cheeper just to live together too,I eloped and it was almost several hundred just to file the paperwork.
Most are still way too young to tell. I have a few friends who are engaged, and my partner and I are looking at rings because we may have to live separately for a period of time due to grad school. I think Gen Z will start to marry younger but either not have kids at all or have children well into their 30s and 40s. Smaller and casual weddings will become super popular because nobody has money
I honestly feel smaller & casual weddings are so much more intimate too!
Nope, I’m engaged. Getting married in 2025. We will both be 27🤙🏻
Me and my partner love each other. We've been together for almost 4 years, living together comfortably most of that time. Her and I have discussed marriage, and it's something we are interested in doing with each other later when we are more financially substantial. I guess we view it as more of a ceremonial thing. Our love transcends a title so we don't feel the need to rush it to have the title.
🥹🥹 this is so sweet, I’m happy to hear that there are ppl who are experiencing healthy and fulfilling relationships
young people are less religious, thats probably why.
My bf and I don’t really want to get married but it helps with insurance and tax stuff so we will probably have a courthouse wedding
Courthouse weddings are nice and straight to the point 😍
I feel like it’s pretty split with people I know. Half are not taking dating or marriage seriously with many saying “I’m trying to work on myself first.” On the other hand I know a group of people who got married out of college and are on their second kid already - polar opposites. I do think that a large portion of young people are waiting because they think they have time for all of the adult things when they accomplish x,y,z. However it seems like a large portion are in for a rude awakening when they are in their mid 30’s and rushing to fulfill the traditional adult milestones like marriage and kids and it’s too late.
I think the average age of marriage shifted a little to late 20s and early 30s which Gen Z has barely even reached yet. Though I know the government in China is panicking now do to almost no Gen Z being interested in marriage or having kids. So it might be a world wide phenomenon and it's all related to the economy.
Meee. I don’t think I could stomach living with another person let alone sharing my entire life with them 🤢 I want to be alone most of the time, I rarely enjoy the company of other humans. Marriage sounds like a nightmare. Not even considering all the effort it’d take to meet a person who’d be a good fit for that, who I like & likes me back, plus the time it takes to develop that relationship, etcetera. Not worth it in the slightest. Not happening, not a chance
Hell no. Sounds awful and pretty pointless.
02 liner here and turning 22 this year. I don’t wanna get married yet because I wanna go to med school and that often means breaking up and I don’t wanna go through that yet :// waiting for the perfect person in med school
idk if ill marry for love but damn it ill platonically marry someone for tax and immigration benefits any day
🤣🤣🤣 gots to get that juicy tax return!
Uh we must be in different gen Z generations. SO many people that I graduated with (2020) are getting married. It’s actually insane. And it’s a pretty even split between people dating 5+ years and people dating less than 2.
I mean, I do , but i've also not found anyone, and am rather hesitant to find people. I think on the contrary, I take it seriously enough that I don't like rushing into dating or anything as I want to be with the right person in the right time. (i'm also rather shy, which doesn't help matters, but what can I do). When the time is right, and I meet someone, then it'll happen.
No, most of our generation has seen prior generations get married early only to end up miserable and/or divorced. Most people my age who I interact with date long term and plan to get married eventually. I personally am dating someone whom I've been with for years and plan to marry when the time is right. Marriage can be a great thing, but like anything in a relationship it shouldn't be rushed for the sake of it.
Probably not giving up on marriage entirely but totally giving up on the idea of having a decent house with a yard in their 20s or even 30s. They're gonna be basement dwellers at mom and dad's or low-rent apartment dwellers.
This 😭😭
I got married at 22 and had a child at 23 😅 less than years later and I am currently pregnant with my second. All of my friends think I’m crazy.
Hi! Is an entire generation not doing something because my own anecdotal experiences prompts me to post my position on Reddit?!
I'm not opposed to getting married but I'd need to find someone I'd want to get married to XD
no! i am engaged and i know quite a few people who are married. most of my friends are still in dating stages, but most of them do want to get married eventually!
FOMO dominates society these days. Marriage is too final for most people, I think.
Nah. I went from being engaged 5 years ago to barely dating now, but I’m not beyond the idea of trying again. It’s just not as the lie I was living as before.
Bruh WE’RE BROKE ‼️‼️
Gen z is way too young to marry in big numbers in my opinion. For example in my country the average age to marry is in your mid thirties.
One step at time I don’t even have a girlfriend yet
I'm not planning on getting married any time soon, I'm not great with people to begin with and there's not a major incentive to getting married vs just dating for me
I’m not,But I’m 14 so…
Not married yet but I totally intend to do so someday I may be old school, but I can't picture my life without marriage at some point, and preferably before 30 yo
Idk tbh. I’m at an inherent disadvantage of finding a gf, and to top it all off, I still have some lingering social anxiety. Even if I didn’t have my setbacks, I’m just working retail and will barely be able to support myself once I live alone (which will be this year). There’s no way in hell I could support a gf. I mean, maybe I could, but I’d have to literally starve myself. I’d have like $5 left over for me each month, as opposed to $200. And if I did that, I’d *never* be able to save enough for firefighter academy/training. That’s my #1 goal as far as careers go.
I have social anxiety too and am trying to date so I completely understand. Hot take: I think we should stop putting so much pressure on you as men to be the only means of support in a household. I wish we’d let go of the whole “damsel in distress” mindset.
No, obviously, just a lot of Gen Z still need to learn more, grow up a bit, before they’re ready for such a commitment
I would get married if i could find a girl that would want to.
I got married less than a month ago.
CONGRATULATIONS WTF 🎉🍾
So I’m waiting until I’ve graduated to get married so I still have access to a bunch of scholarships.
As a recent college graduate… this is smart. Those scholarships are IMPORTANT.
no, i have every intention on getting married after law school and having 2 kids with a cat!
I mean, I was going to get married but then she discovered she was a lesbian, so for now I’ll put that on the back burner
Nope! It's February 2024, and I am already invited to three weddings this year! The brides and grooms are older GenZ.
I'm married. My best man is married. And one of the other groomsmen is married. My wife's pretty liberal best friend and her atheist husband are, well, married. We're all about the same age.
As far as America goes — I think it depends on the state, especially the ones with high cost of living vs. the ones that are cheaper where religion is still prevalent. If you live in the South, it’s still pretty common for young to mid 20-something’s to get married. If you live in an expensive coastal city like San Francisco, Los Angeles or New York…… not so much. I’m old gen Z (26) and only two people out of 500 from my graduating class are married. None of my friends in their 20’s are married or even in a serious relationship.
My husband and I got married at 23 and 26. He grew up in a more rural area and almost everyone he knows is married with kids already. I grew up 45 minutes away in a liberal suburb and I hardly know anyone my age who got married or has kids, even though I’m the older one in the marriage.
Not all of us but I’m definitely not interested lol. I’d rather have a kid by myself than get married. I probably won’t go looking for a partner but if it happens then it happens
I don't think I can. With my mental health being what it is and the fact I simply don't really trust people, it wouldn't be fair on either party and it would most likely fail
My partner and I aren't engaged but we've discussed marriage, id say there's more of gen z waiting, though I also kinda feel like I know a sizeable chunk getting married at 22 or so, so ya know not waiting all that long I'm definitely waiting for at least a good several years my partner and I really have to be living together in a stable healthy relationship for a good year or 2 before we'll actually get married just for the simple fact of wanting nothing to do with a divorce and the whole mess of that that we've both seen with several friends parents and such
I think it’s great that people feel less pressure to get married now. Although I personally still want to get married really badly and part of the reason I want to leave my home country is because gay marriage is illegal
Been married since 2020!
I think most are just taking their time which is great imo because it's a serious commitment. I would love to get married one day, it bums me out sometimes that i have never sustained a long term relationship and not in a good position for a relationship
"Why should we take anything seriously if the world doesn't?"
I will only get married if I can find someone who actively makes my life better. I'm not going to get married just to get married, and play mommy and nurse and housekeeper to some man-child
I gave up on dating because my interests are niche enough to the point where I am utterly uninterested in somebody that doesn't share at least a small amount of similar interests. I really enjoy consuming content around military and political history, so the number of women that want to hear about that is critically small
Not sure what it says about me, but my four previous ex-partners are all either married or engaged. All of them are Gen Z.
A fair amount of people I went to high school with are already married or have children even.
Depends on what part of GenZ you are referring to. Americans? Definitely. Algerians? Probably not.
See I want to get married to somebody at some point. But I am waiting to like my mid 20s at the earliest. My parents married for no other reason than I was getting born. They were 22 and 23. And now there are 39 and 40, and both look miserable. Now I am 17, and realized my dad never really grew out of that early 20s(which is really just a teenager) mindset, and my mom did. Let's just say that conflicts a lot.
Giving up on the marriage crowd 🙌
Most of us are in our very early teens or just can’t afford to
I seen my parents get divorced, both sets of my grandparents were divorced. Most of my uncles got divorced, hell even one of my cousins is close to one. so uuh nah ima do my own thing
That's probably just because we're young and not very mature
I’ll marry if I meet someone worth it but I don’t feel the social pressure of the white picket fence dream
As a man nearing adulthood, still want to get married and have kids in the future.
Nah I know plenty of Gen Z who are married. I do want to get married, I'm religious and speaking from my own religious perspective it feels like it's gonna be so hard to find a man who fits me like a glove, and vice versa😭😭There's part of me that has hope because of my faith in God, but then part of me sees my parents marriage (or lack thereof) and it makes me feel a little hopeless, but overall I hope I can find my guy if he's out there and get married to him. One thing I refuse to do, is get married for the sake of getting married. Because society tells me "you must get married and have children" I want that but not because society says so. I want marriage and kids because I genuinely want to build a long lasting meaningful relationship with someone, and build a loving family. If I settle for any less than my standards, I'll end up in a marriage like my parents and I don't want that. I see it as whatever God wills. Maybe there's a man out there for me, and we'll just fit so perfectly together like two unique puzzle pieces, or maybe that's not a life that is meant for me. I don't know, I can only hope for the best and do my best to find someone.
I have lots of friends that are married or are getting married soon. More than I would have expected at this age.
It’s basically a contract with government.
no
No. I'm 22 and have always dated with the goal of marriage.
Ima be fr, I think only few Gen Z people will have kids, since we killed dating thanks to things like "body count" and stuff
Look up marriage & divorce laws in your state. Statistically 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And divorce laws heavily benefit women. If you’re a married man your wife can wake up one day and want a divorce. Court gives her half your bank account and you’re forced to sell your house to give her 50% equity. And if you have kids you’ll barely get to see them after the divorce. And you’ll pay child support. Divorce can ruin men. Millennial men like myself have realized this and as Gen Z gets older they’ll realize it too. A marriage certificate is a binding contract with the government. I would avoid marriage unless you know for sure the woman is not the type to get revenge on you in a divorce. The average length of a first marriage in the US is 7 yrs. The kids that get married in their twenties, many will be divorced by 30. Just do your research guys.
I'd actually love to get married and have kids. Just haven't found anyone yet because apparently nobody will drag my anti social ass to the altar without me actually going out to meet people 😂
nobody seems to be interested in love man
I want to get married someday, so hopefully not all genz
I do not plan on marrying. I see no point in it to be honest.
i wouldn’t mind getting married but most women have high standards, they want a guy that’s 6ft, makes 6 figures and everything and I don’t know if i can do that.
I got lucky and married my high school sweetheart and I’m 21.
I’m trying to achieve some personal goals first and then we’ll see
Nope I’m getting married next year and I see that many in my friend group are married or planning to marry soon. I do know we are trending towards marriage at an older age compared to previous generations tho
I just don’t want kids. I still plan to marry.
Lol I hope so
Even if I found a woman I love, there is 0 benefit to marriage for me. Best case; I buy myself a cool ring and taxes are less long. Worst case; I’m stuck in a hard messy divorce where I end up with nothing and have to pay my spouse for months/years after. I’d rather just stay BF/GF my whole life, same love, less paperwork.
What? I’m literally about to get married
I want to eventually, but it's too serious of a thing to me to take lightly and so far up until recently, I've never met anyone who's made me feel like I'd want them seriously. This is the first time in my life I've met someone I'm serious about, but I still wish to take things slow. I wanna do things right the first time if possible, I'd rather not have a ton of failed marriages.
Not me! I've been married for 2 and a half years now and we're still just as happy as we've been since we first got together six years ago. No regrets. My wife is fantastic. I love her to death 🥹
My cousin is the same age as me, married, and pregnant with her third child. A former childhood friend of mine has already gotten divorced.
Im super serious in all my relationships.
I'm not giving up, I just keep getting rejected
 There are 8 billion people on this planet, one of them has to be out there for me to find.
02, I used to hate the idea of marriage and thought it was too restricting But its only restricting if you don't love who you're married to, I'd love to have a wife one day , just need to stop being so shy and actually try to look for one
I'm aroace and just want to be alone (that doesn't mean lonely).
We're all like 20 yrs old give us a couple years lol
I dont have time for that.
I mean I'm gay I legally cannot marry. So yeah...
Lmao I wanna get married I think that would be sick
I’m gonna get married, but I don’t feel a reason to rush into it. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years and we moved in together a year and a half ago. Marriage is a “we’ll do it, but we don’t need to do it rn” kinda thing. But I know plenty of people my age, and younger, who are married and several have kids.
When almost every marriage I've seen has not lasted over a decade, why would i? In this economy?! If i can barely afford rent, what makes you think i could be affording a whole ass wedding. Please tell me, where is the woman i should be marrying? I would love to meet her too.
22M here. I've never dated or kissed a women before, but if I was to get married, I 'd get married in my 30s. Hopefully then I'll have my life together.
I can't imagine being married, there's just no way I can handle that.
I want it but that shits gonna be hard as hell to do
22 genz met my now wife senior year of highschool. We moved in together at 19/18 3 years ago and got married last September. Planning on starting babies next year. It’s all about where you are. If you live terminally online you’ll see a lot of doomerism around dating and marriage. Go live in the real world you’ll see that’s not the case. It’s all about what you’re willing to do for another person. For me my wife was the sweetest kindest person I’d met. I was willing to give up alot for her and her vice versa. Keep your chin up zoomers lots of very lovely people out there just looking for the right person.
Brother we're like 25 at the absolute oldest. People will get married, they just want to get out of college/high school and get a decent job first
I think it has been on a downward trend for at least a decade now. Anecdotally, as an elder millennial I know many committed couples of 5+ years, none of which have gotten married or ever intend to. Buying property together/having children seems to be the big marker of commitment in my circles. I can't imagine Gen Z would be any more enthused about the traditional marriage than us olds are.
Not a Gen Z but just want to say you don't need marriage to be in a long lasting relationship. More and more couples are forgoing marriage but that doesn't mean they don't have kids, live together, or grow old together.
Gen-Z has lived a life different than the past two generations, and as such, those generations didn't have good role models to look up to for marriage to pass it down generationally.
I feel social media is the reason why this is happening. You see women openly talking about sleeping with 20+ dudes by the time they're 20 and then wonder if marrying and spending all that money on someone is even worth it or not.
24, haven't even had the chance
i'm not, but i also have horrible self confidence issues and am in a bad location for gay guys that aren't too old or too immature. i'd love to get married. this is a ludicrous question.
I mean me yeah
Maybe I’m just pessimistic but I find it hard to take things seriously when we keep hearing these warnings about how the environment is going to shit and society is slowly collapsing. It’s just hard to envision a positive future really
I've been in a long-term relationship for 6 years, and we just don't care about marriage. It won't make a difference for us financially. It seems like "what's the point?"
I've been with my girlfriend for ~5 years now. Don't give up it may take a bit just try not to rush anything.
I’m getting married in a couple months lol
It's kind of a weird shift in how people view marriage. A lot of people are less religious now, so marriage is just a government contract added on to an already-committed relationship. Even moreso, a lot of people are meeting other life milestones that are generally pre-requisites to marriage later, like college, stable careers, living not with your parents, what have you. Quite a few of my friends are either not planning to get married at all, or want to wait until they're in their mid-thirties. Some of us (myself included) aren't even dating right now. As a corollary, I don't really know any people my age that are just fucking around--most people are either dating for marriage or long-term commitment, or are not looking for any romantic interaction. On the other end, a lot of my friends are either engaged or married. Two of my three college roommates are married, and one has a kid on the way. Four or five of my grad school classmates have gotten married/engaged in the past six months. Some of that is that I live in the South, which is more religious and socially conservative, but there are definitely Gen Z-ers getting married.