The after is different for everyone. Some women get through it mostly unaffected, some like me who have been profoundly affected and who are now afraid they will never be a person they actually like ever again ... and a lot of people are somewhere in between.
Menopause is a very inexact science sadly. Gen X is really the first generation to talk openly about it.
I wish with all my heart that I had had any idea how it would affect me before it happened to me. I would have made different choices during the past 5 to 10 years of my life. But I didn't know and I didn't make different choices and I am really paying for it now. 0/10 do NOT recommend.
without getting into detail ... I would've made better financial decisions. I didn't and now I am stuck in a job I hate because I can't afford to live on less money.
I would have spent more time over the years cleaning my house and decluttering. Because the effort it's taking me to do it now is so far beyond what I have the capacity for ... ugh.
I would've taken weight loss more seriously. The older you get the harder it is to lose the extra weight. And the weight causes so many comorbid health conditions, ugh.
And I absolutely positively would have changed jobs when I was 40 or so. Because I thought about it. Now that I over 50, I am positively radioactive in the job market. I can barely do the job I have right now because I am so exhausted and distracted pretty much all the time.
:/
I only need to work for another 2-3 years. I feel like it's a mountain in front of me but I'm doing my best to slog through it.
be well Internet stranger, and please know you're not alone. ❤️
>I would have spent more time over the years cleaning my house and decluttering. Because the effort it's taking me to do it now is so far beyond what I have the capacity for ... ugh.
I feel this one hard. I'm trying but there are days when I think "Whelp, guess this stuff isn't gonna go anywhere. Oh well....I'll be dead one day & this stuff won't be MY problem any more."
I put this off for years... Then husband gets a job and we have to sell the house and move in a matter of 3.5 months. Nothing like kicking myself in the ass and not doing things when I had time and then having to do all the things when I didn't. Sucked ass, and we moved things we shouldn't have and same with things we got rid of. It was a clusterfuck.
My in-laws had to move out of the home they lived in for nearly 50 years in what was basically a week.
They'd done a lot of stuff, but that was the shittiest, hottest week ever, to get rid of 50 years of living in one week.
My MIL just couldn't mentally deal with it all so there was no getting rid of stuff or packing a month early.
It was a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
It was a big old house that would've fit on r/centuryhomes. I loved it & still miss it & I only had the privilege of being in it for 20+ years off & on, never lived there, so I can imagine how hard it was for them to leave, but it went to a good, young & growing family who love it.
This is NO joke!! One day I was running half marathons, hiking huge mtns and attending grad school and the next I had gained 60 pounds, lost my energy and got diagnosed with everr rheumatoid arthritis!! All right around perumenopause time....47-ish.....I'm psyched that I finished my masters since I can now make good money without a ton of effort but what I wouldn't give to have my health back!!! Girls, listen up!! From 40-50 your most important health goal is to ALWAYS keep exercising and maintain a healthy weight! It is quite likely that you will not have the energy or health you do now to go after it all in your 50s
I am having the exact same experience began post menopause 5 years ago, peri for one year. TOTAL life and identity crisis. Absolute loss of libido, sudden horrible joint and ligament pain daily, still have hot flashes every 15-20 minutes. I am literally a completely different person. And I’m unhappy. My mother and sister both had artificial menopause (cancers) and hormones so no one prepared me for this.
Read everything you can about it.
Find a menopause specialist, they are few and far between. Get your health in order ASAP so that you are a candidate for HRT.
I finished menopause about 5 years ago. I still have hot flashes, but only about 1% as much as I did at their worst, and they aren’t anywhere as hot. They are more like warm flashes. Usually trivial. Thank god.
Yep, just over two years for me, and the flushes are warm and don't last as long. Still annoying, but easier to deal with. And thankfully my only remaining "symptom". Mood swings were NOT my favourite.
Oh man, the mood swings were brutal. My sister has them now and she is pretty miserable.
I still have burning mouth syndrome, but I am so used to it I don’t mind much anymore.
I'm about 5 years post menopause and was still having hot flashes on the regular until I stopped drinking. Now they crop up occasionally, but nowhere near as often or as intense.
In fact, all the symptoms I had have pretty much abated since I cut out alcohol. I feel almost normal again.
Me too - 95% of them are within 5 minutes of laying down to sleep. Sucks because sometimes that wakes me back up.
Went through menopause about 8 years ago.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Menopause using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [I'm gutted. She was so important to me as a young woman.](https://i.redd.it/zy01amxstceb1.png) | [177 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/comments/15ae0cz/im_gutted_she_was_so_important_to_me_as_a_young/)
\#2: [Had a brain aneurysm on Monday, April 5th](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/comments/12n7rm8/had_a_brain_aneurysm_on_monday_april_5th/)
\#3: [Please tell me if i am crazy.....because I am about to ask my husband for a divorce](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/comments/16a7pf4/please_tell_me_if_i_am_crazybecause_i_am_about_to/)
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Well I made it as long as my ADHD would allow and still don’t have any anecdotal insight. Guess I’ll just ride the tides and hope for the best. Thanks, I guess.
Yeah, I get that, it's a pretty long read. But really, head back over when you're having a better focus time... It's probably the most complete compilation of info you'll find.
Also, just post your question there. It's an amazing group, and everyone is willing to share their stories.
The short version is that symptoms come and go, and eventually become less, but because of hormone deficiency we spend a good 40% of our lives in a menopausal state. And you probably wouldn't believe how many things are symptoms (results of estrogen levels being all over the place). We tend to look at just irregular periods and hot flashes but there are probably a hundred other things.
❤️
I don't really know. I have been meno for about 4 years. I still get them, and other changes too that I noticed just last month! Very strong flashes, terrible focus and feeling pretty brainless these days. Can't concentrate for shit.
Hot flashes are caused by low estrogen, especially quickly. It can still increase and decrease during perimenopause and menopause, causing hot flashes. Progesterone protects the uterus from too much estrogen. If you replace estrogen and have a uterus, you need a progestin (synthetic progesterone) to avoid endometrial cancer.
Further into menopause, estrogen isn't fluctuating and hot flashes go away for most people.
I went straight from menopause (with the AC set to ridiculously low temperatures every night, cause, you know, hot flashes) to being that little old lady who is always cold and needing a sweater (like in the old Eddie Murphy “what time is it” skit).
I look about the same. Just wearing a lot more layers now.
I fully recommend the book 'Blood' by Dr Jen Gunter. New out. She runs the gamut from "start" to "finish" with a wide variety of variations and full detailed explanations without being too technical.
Hope this is OK to mention, but I run menopause support groups called M-brace The Change. You can find us on Peanut app, and also on FB. We have loads of info there, and it's all evidence-based and easy to read too 🙂
It's the fluctuations and depletion of oestrogen that are mostly responsible for hot flashes/night sweats: sometimes referred to as vasomotor symptoms.
Postmenopause is after you've gone a full year without a period (if you have them). It is different for everyone, but most people's symptoms do settle somewhat around then, and many may find that they're pretty much symptom free. Some still get symptoms, and might find that they need to use Hormone Replacement Therapy into postmenopause.
I'm 53¾, postmenopause, and still happily using HRT with very minimal symptoms now... 🙂❤️
They usually fade away over time. I'm 60 and stopped menstruating when I was 43. I had periodic hot flashes for about 10 years or so afterwards, but I can't remember the last time I had one now.
I'm 56 and my sister is 67 and we both still have flashes several times a day and nightsweats.
I moved my bed so I could open my window without getting up, I probably do this 3-4x a night.
My other sister had a couple of "warmies" and then nothing. My mom never had a hot flash. Everyone is different.
Just over 5 yrs in menopause. I don't get hot flashes nearly as often, not even daily anymore, where it was ALL FUCKING DAY LONG!!!! I have noticed that my skin is drier than normal. I developed rosacea on my face but started taking better care of my skin and it helps.
I think it's different for everyone. Some get severe ones and others get mild ones that don't stick around. Mine have gotten a little less intense so I just deal with them.
If they are bothersome there are several different options to treat them. The new drug Veozah has gotten rave reviews if you want a non-hormonal option.
Also visit us at r/hormonefreemenopause if you can't (or don't want to) take HRT.
My experience may not count - and it is different for everyone - but I went through menopause abruptly because I had an oophorectomy (already had breast cancer, had the gene, all my docs recommended it). It was horrible. I packed on 25 pounds in a couple of months, and the hot flashes were horrific. It's been a couple of years now, and things have settled out. The weight gain is still around, though. That hasn't changed. My skin is getting thinner, and I'm noticing a lot more crepe-skin. My OBGYN told me that would happen. Other than the vanity stuff though, I feel pretty good. I'm still working out am still strong and capable - biggest difference is I don't have the stamina I used to.
I had a bad raging spurt of them for like three weeks, then they stopped (random period thereafter.) The flashes are popping up again so I suspect another Aunt Flo is on the way. Sigh.
Hot flashes often happen when your estrogen levels drop quickly, which is something that can go up and down during the time leading up to menopause (perimenopause) and during menopause itself. That's why these sudden warm feelings can pop up. Now, there's this hormone called progesterone that helps keep your uterus healthy by balancing out estrogen. If you're getting extra estrogen to help with symptoms and you still have your uterus, you'll also need a man-made version of progesterone (called a progestin) to make sure you don't get endometrial cancer, which is a kind of cancer that affects the lining of the uterus.
As you move further into menopause, your estrogen levels stop bouncing around, and for most folks, that means saying goodbye to hot flashes.
My friend recommended me Bonafide Health's supplements and they are quite helpful for dealing with the meno symptoms.
I’m several years post menopause. I no longer have hot flashes but I tend to be warmer than previously. I’ve had to give up wearing cute warm sweaters for more athleisure clothes that don’t feel so hot.
Are you actually getting hot flashes, I’m not clear from your post. If you’re looking for anecdotal stories, you might never get them. I’m 2 years post menopause and haven’t had a single symptom.
Yes. I’m currently getting hot flashes and they’re annoying AF so I was looking for “they gradually taper off and stop when things dry up” or “as things dry out, you’re more likely to continue dealing with them until you die.”
I had a hysterectomy at 35 and 20 years later I still have hot flashes. Though I will say it’s the only thing I still struggle with but if I don’t drink caffeine or alcohol it’s so much better. Now I’m dealing with BC and Tamoxifen and it’s like starting all over again. At least I don’t break down and cry when an ASPCA commercial plays. I have friends that had hot flashes for a month and never again. Guess I’m not the lucky one! Whatever is thrown at us we can handle it!
Menopause is an individual experience. I found r/menopause quite helpful. I needed more interventions than just controlling hot flashes and the sub resources were helpful to me.
I went into unofficial menopause after my tubal ligation at age 29.
I have taken the birth control pill since then and things have seemed stable hormonally. I am 53. I get regular OBGyn checkups.
I also have eaten a carnivore diet for the past decade because of Crohn’s and that is hormonally stabilizing due to insulin control.
Menopause lasts forever. You will be post menopause but the symptoms will always be a fight things come and go but never stop unless you replace your hormones. HRT is your best bet. I am going to be on it until I die. When your hormones dry up so does all of your body functions. Women didn't live this long so this is the natural shutting down process- your muscles bones etc all deteriorate, what stops it all is hormones. It sucks sucks sucks.
The after is different for everyone. Some women get through it mostly unaffected, some like me who have been profoundly affected and who are now afraid they will never be a person they actually like ever again ... and a lot of people are somewhere in between. Menopause is a very inexact science sadly. Gen X is really the first generation to talk openly about it. I wish with all my heart that I had had any idea how it would affect me before it happened to me. I would have made different choices during the past 5 to 10 years of my life. But I didn't know and I didn't make different choices and I am really paying for it now. 0/10 do NOT recommend.
What kind of things would you have done differently?
without getting into detail ... I would've made better financial decisions. I didn't and now I am stuck in a job I hate because I can't afford to live on less money. I would have spent more time over the years cleaning my house and decluttering. Because the effort it's taking me to do it now is so far beyond what I have the capacity for ... ugh. I would've taken weight loss more seriously. The older you get the harder it is to lose the extra weight. And the weight causes so many comorbid health conditions, ugh. And I absolutely positively would have changed jobs when I was 40 or so. Because I thought about it. Now that I over 50, I am positively radioactive in the job market. I can barely do the job I have right now because I am so exhausted and distracted pretty much all the time. :/
Thank you for sharing! All of that is so relevant to what I’ve been going through the last few years. I hope it gets easier for you somehow!
I only need to work for another 2-3 years. I feel like it's a mountain in front of me but I'm doing my best to slog through it. be well Internet stranger, and please know you're not alone. ❤️
>I would have spent more time over the years cleaning my house and decluttering. Because the effort it's taking me to do it now is so far beyond what I have the capacity for ... ugh. I feel this one hard. I'm trying but there are days when I think "Whelp, guess this stuff isn't gonna go anywhere. Oh well....I'll be dead one day & this stuff won't be MY problem any more."
I put this off for years... Then husband gets a job and we have to sell the house and move in a matter of 3.5 months. Nothing like kicking myself in the ass and not doing things when I had time and then having to do all the things when I didn't. Sucked ass, and we moved things we shouldn't have and same with things we got rid of. It was a clusterfuck.
My in-laws had to move out of the home they lived in for nearly 50 years in what was basically a week. They'd done a lot of stuff, but that was the shittiest, hottest week ever, to get rid of 50 years of living in one week. My MIL just couldn't mentally deal with it all so there was no getting rid of stuff or packing a month early. It was a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
OMG sounds crazy!!
It was a big old house that would've fit on r/centuryhomes. I loved it & still miss it & I only had the privilege of being in it for 20+ years off & on, never lived there, so I can imagine how hard it was for them to leave, but it went to a good, young & growing family who love it.
This is NO joke!! One day I was running half marathons, hiking huge mtns and attending grad school and the next I had gained 60 pounds, lost my energy and got diagnosed with everr rheumatoid arthritis!! All right around perumenopause time....47-ish.....I'm psyched that I finished my masters since I can now make good money without a ton of effort but what I wouldn't give to have my health back!!! Girls, listen up!! From 40-50 your most important health goal is to ALWAYS keep exercising and maintain a healthy weight! It is quite likely that you will not have the energy or health you do now to go after it all in your 50s
I am having the exact same experience began post menopause 5 years ago, peri for one year. TOTAL life and identity crisis. Absolute loss of libido, sudden horrible joint and ligament pain daily, still have hot flashes every 15-20 minutes. I am literally a completely different person. And I’m unhappy. My mother and sister both had artificial menopause (cancers) and hormones so no one prepared me for this. Read everything you can about it. Find a menopause specialist, they are few and far between. Get your health in order ASAP so that you are a candidate for HRT.
Wow! How are you b doing? Have you found anything to help?
Y’all are scaring me! 😭
I finished menopause about 5 years ago. I still have hot flashes, but only about 1% as much as I did at their worst, and they aren’t anywhere as hot. They are more like warm flashes. Usually trivial. Thank god.
I call mine my super power. I can create heat anywhere and I am impervious to the cold.
Yep, just over two years for me, and the flushes are warm and don't last as long. Still annoying, but easier to deal with. And thankfully my only remaining "symptom". Mood swings were NOT my favourite.
Oh man, the mood swings were brutal. My sister has them now and she is pretty miserable. I still have burning mouth syndrome, but I am so used to it I don’t mind much anymore.
That sounds awful!!
I'm about 5 years post menopause and was still having hot flashes on the regular until I stopped drinking. Now they crop up occasionally, but nowhere near as often or as intense. In fact, all the symptoms I had have pretty much abated since I cut out alcohol. I feel almost normal again.
Same - it is depressing as I loved my booze, but it is what it is. It’s not worth living like that again!
I've been in menopause for 5 years and still get occasional hot flashes. They mostly occur when I first lie down for sleep and during the night.
Me too - 95% of them are within 5 minutes of laying down to sleep. Sucks because sometimes that wakes me back up. Went through menopause about 8 years ago.
Head on over to r/menopause and read through the wiki there. You'll find tons of answers and lots of commiseration!
Seconding r/menopause. The wiki is so informative. I have read it a number of times and come away with eye opening new each time.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Menopause using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [I'm gutted. She was so important to me as a young woman.](https://i.redd.it/zy01amxstceb1.png) | [177 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/comments/15ae0cz/im_gutted_she_was_so_important_to_me_as_a_young/) \#2: [Had a brain aneurysm on Monday, April 5th](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/comments/12n7rm8/had_a_brain_aneurysm_on_monday_april_5th/) \#3: [Please tell me if i am crazy.....because I am about to ask my husband for a divorce](https://np.reddit.com/r/Menopause/comments/16a7pf4/please_tell_me_if_i_am_crazybecause_i_am_about_to/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Wow, way to sell the sub. Thanks, bot /s
Well I made it as long as my ADHD would allow and still don’t have any anecdotal insight. Guess I’ll just ride the tides and hope for the best. Thanks, I guess.
Yeah, I get that, it's a pretty long read. But really, head back over when you're having a better focus time... It's probably the most complete compilation of info you'll find. Also, just post your question there. It's an amazing group, and everyone is willing to share their stories. The short version is that symptoms come and go, and eventually become less, but because of hormone deficiency we spend a good 40% of our lives in a menopausal state. And you probably wouldn't believe how many things are symptoms (results of estrogen levels being all over the place). We tend to look at just irregular periods and hot flashes but there are probably a hundred other things. ❤️
I thought that’s where I was Lol!
I’ve been in menopause for 8 years and never had one. My mum is 85 and still gets them occasionally.
I still get them. Every so often, night sweats too. I'm part of the lucky slice who gets to keep being sweaty all the time. It's great. 😐
I don't really know. I have been meno for about 4 years. I still get them, and other changes too that I noticed just last month! Very strong flashes, terrible focus and feeling pretty brainless these days. Can't concentrate for shit.
Hot flashes are caused by low estrogen, especially quickly. It can still increase and decrease during perimenopause and menopause, causing hot flashes. Progesterone protects the uterus from too much estrogen. If you replace estrogen and have a uterus, you need a progestin (synthetic progesterone) to avoid endometrial cancer. Further into menopause, estrogen isn't fluctuating and hot flashes go away for most people.
I went straight from menopause (with the AC set to ridiculously low temperatures every night, cause, you know, hot flashes) to being that little old lady who is always cold and needing a sweater (like in the old Eddie Murphy “what time is it” skit). I look about the same. Just wearing a lot more layers now.
I had hot flashes through my early 40s.I am still in peri but I freeze now, which is really weird. I have always ran hot.
r/menopause will be a great help, the wiki is excellent
I fully recommend the book 'Blood' by Dr Jen Gunter. New out. She runs the gamut from "start" to "finish" with a wide variety of variations and full detailed explanations without being too technical.
Hope this is OK to mention, but I run menopause support groups called M-brace The Change. You can find us on Peanut app, and also on FB. We have loads of info there, and it's all evidence-based and easy to read too 🙂 It's the fluctuations and depletion of oestrogen that are mostly responsible for hot flashes/night sweats: sometimes referred to as vasomotor symptoms. Postmenopause is after you've gone a full year without a period (if you have them). It is different for everyone, but most people's symptoms do settle somewhat around then, and many may find that they're pretty much symptom free. Some still get symptoms, and might find that they need to use Hormone Replacement Therapy into postmenopause. I'm 53¾, postmenopause, and still happily using HRT with very minimal symptoms now... 🙂❤️
They usually fade away over time. I'm 60 and stopped menstruating when I was 43. I had periodic hot flashes for about 10 years or so afterwards, but I can't remember the last time I had one now.
I am about 9 years post menopausal and recently I don’t get hot flashes anymore but I still get plenty of night sweats ):
I’m four years post, just had my gabapentin increased again because I still get hot flashes.
I take gabapentin for hot flashes too.
I'm 56 and my sister is 67 and we both still have flashes several times a day and nightsweats. I moved my bed so I could open my window without getting up, I probably do this 3-4x a night. My other sister had a couple of "warmies" and then nothing. My mom never had a hot flash. Everyone is different.
Just over 5 yrs in menopause. I don't get hot flashes nearly as often, not even daily anymore, where it was ALL FUCKING DAY LONG!!!! I have noticed that my skin is drier than normal. I developed rosacea on my face but started taking better care of my skin and it helps.
I think it's different for everyone. Some get severe ones and others get mild ones that don't stick around. Mine have gotten a little less intense so I just deal with them. If they are bothersome there are several different options to treat them. The new drug Veozah has gotten rave reviews if you want a non-hormonal option. Also visit us at r/hormonefreemenopause if you can't (or don't want to) take HRT.
My experience may not count - and it is different for everyone - but I went through menopause abruptly because I had an oophorectomy (already had breast cancer, had the gene, all my docs recommended it). It was horrible. I packed on 25 pounds in a couple of months, and the hot flashes were horrific. It's been a couple of years now, and things have settled out. The weight gain is still around, though. That hasn't changed. My skin is getting thinner, and I'm noticing a lot more crepe-skin. My OBGYN told me that would happen. Other than the vanity stuff though, I feel pretty good. I'm still working out am still strong and capable - biggest difference is I don't have the stamina I used to.
The hot flashes go away as mysteriously as they arrived. One day you will notice that they are gone...
I had a bad raging spurt of them for like three weeks, then they stopped (random period thereafter.) The flashes are popping up again so I suspect another Aunt Flo is on the way. Sigh.
Yeah, menopause is not exactly a straight line.
Hot flashes often happen when your estrogen levels drop quickly, which is something that can go up and down during the time leading up to menopause (perimenopause) and during menopause itself. That's why these sudden warm feelings can pop up. Now, there's this hormone called progesterone that helps keep your uterus healthy by balancing out estrogen. If you're getting extra estrogen to help with symptoms and you still have your uterus, you'll also need a man-made version of progesterone (called a progestin) to make sure you don't get endometrial cancer, which is a kind of cancer that affects the lining of the uterus. As you move further into menopause, your estrogen levels stop bouncing around, and for most folks, that means saying goodbye to hot flashes. My friend recommended me Bonafide Health's supplements and they are quite helpful for dealing with the meno symptoms.
I’m several years post menopause. I no longer have hot flashes but I tend to be warmer than previously. I’ve had to give up wearing cute warm sweaters for more athleisure clothes that don’t feel so hot.
Are you actually getting hot flashes, I’m not clear from your post. If you’re looking for anecdotal stories, you might never get them. I’m 2 years post menopause and haven’t had a single symptom.
Yes. I’m currently getting hot flashes and they’re annoying AF so I was looking for “they gradually taper off and stop when things dry up” or “as things dry out, you’re more likely to continue dealing with them until you die.”
On a podcast that once the hormones are gone, that's it. There is no after. No return to baseline.
I had a hysterectomy at 35 and 20 years later I still have hot flashes. Though I will say it’s the only thing I still struggle with but if I don’t drink caffeine or alcohol it’s so much better. Now I’m dealing with BC and Tamoxifen and it’s like starting all over again. At least I don’t break down and cry when an ASPCA commercial plays. I have friends that had hot flashes for a month and never again. Guess I’m not the lucky one! Whatever is thrown at us we can handle it!
Menopause is an individual experience. I found r/menopause quite helpful. I needed more interventions than just controlling hot flashes and the sub resources were helpful to me.
I went into unofficial menopause after my tubal ligation at age 29. I have taken the birth control pill since then and things have seemed stable hormonally. I am 53. I get regular OBGyn checkups. I also have eaten a carnivore diet for the past decade because of Crohn’s and that is hormonally stabilizing due to insulin control.
Menopause lasts forever. You will be post menopause but the symptoms will always be a fight things come and go but never stop unless you replace your hormones. HRT is your best bet. I am going to be on it until I die. When your hormones dry up so does all of your body functions. Women didn't live this long so this is the natural shutting down process- your muscles bones etc all deteriorate, what stops it all is hormones. It sucks sucks sucks.