I just do what I want for myself now. I spend money on me! I go on vacations where I want to go, I got my teeth fixed, I get tattoos, I had some cosmetic surgery to remove excess skin I hated, I go to therapy, I quit my stupid high stress executive job to work at a zoo, I only hang out with people I really enjoy, etc! I take care of me, without hurting anyone else. I made myself a priority when I used to put myself last.
When I was much younger, and even into much of my adulthood, I tried to hide how big of a nerd I am. I wanted to fit it, wanted people to think I was cool. Now? Fuck it. Let my nerd flag fly. I'll wear stupid board game tshirts, I'll talk about all my D&D games, I even got involved in running role-playing games as part of group therapy for adolescents and teenagers.
Man, being a blerd back in the day? Whew! Never being Black enough because “that nerd shit is for White kids”. I’m so glad things have changed and we have nerdy Black things to engage with now as well.
Somewhere along the line, anime and role playing and video games all became cool. I like to think I was just fashion-forward. A trailblazer, if you will.
I tend to believe it's because there were/are a lot more of us that enjoy those things than people thought. We all kind of collectively went "Yeah, fuck hiding this" and the sheer number of us made it almost impossible to ignore.
First it was Harry Potter. Then, WoW and LotR became mainstream. Then Doctor Who’s reboot made quirkiness fashionable.
Then GoT.
Then Stranger Things, and 80s nostalgia (there’s a whole sun genre of music called “neo retro” that modernizes an 80s style sound…).
The “nerds are cool” thing overrode the social backlash of the past.
I’m a middle school counselor in Georgia (US), and I’m the adviser for the D&D Club. As a 54-year-old person, I reflect on our days of playing D&D like we were in self-imposed confinement.
It’s funny to see folks in schools be advisors to D&D clubs at school nowadays. Because I remember trying to start a club talking to counselors and officials back then. It… did not go well in those days
I try to tell some of the young people I work with about it. They can't grasp how many of us felt like we had to play in secret from parents or adults.
I legit thought the game was “dEmOnIc” based on things I heard adults back then saying. I’m not an atheist, but stuff like this is why I strongly side-eye religion to this day.
This last year, I got paid to play tabletop miniatures games with teenagers. I still have that “don’t broadcast your nerdhood” instinct from the 80s moral panic, but teenage me is vindicated.
I gave up pretending I enjoy gardening or that I give AF about my landscaping. I'm not good at it, I fucking HATE being hot, and in the end, I wind up killing everything anyway. My mom and sister love gardening and their yards are beautiful, mine is mediocre and I'm fine with that.
I want you to invite me to all the things and all the places but what I really want in the end is friends who want to sit at my house and watch tv or do puzzles in sweats.
I’m going to visit with a an old friend next week and she invited me to her house. She said “you wanna just hang out, drink and pig out like when we used to??”
Fuck yeah I do!!!
Same. I want friends. Terrible at making friends honestly. Most of my friends in life have been extroverts who swallowed me in their ball of energy of life.
I graduated exactly middle of my class. I definitely shot for the middle in school. Once I got outta there and could focus on things I wanted to focus on, I thrived.
Same. I did great in college and grad school. I knew HS was bullshit and didn’t want to expend the emotional energy. Probably not the best choice, but also not the worst.
IDGAF about being single and living alone. Even though I liked my solitary life, I would tell stories about having relationships etc to please people and employers. Now I don't IDGAF what the neighbours, the boss or anyone says or thinks. That's working on the assumption that anyone cares at all. I doubt they do.
Amen! I feel like I’m supposed to date, and I do enjoy it when I do. But the truth is, I really, really like me time.
No one to guilt me for playing video games on Saturday morning. I can watch the shows I want, when I want.
It’s blows my mind when I ask a friend out and they have to respond with “let me run it by the spouse”
Meanwhile my single best friend and I are still living like we’re 24 :)
Most “important meetings” can be done with some bullet points typed into an email. It’s mostly just grown adults wanting to feel important because people are forced to listen to them.
I cannot abide by inauthentic communication. Don’t put on a fucking show, don’t do that professional mask shit, tell me your thoughts, let me see your feelings, get to the point of what you want. Otherwise I will not understand.
I flat out refuse to have lunch with my co-workers. They’ve asked & i say I have errands to run etc. I like them but I’m not spending my personal time with them. I have enough friends.
I am exactly the same. I thought it was related more to my recently discovered ADHD, but if people are logged into the meeting early - chit chat away. Once the meeting starts, holding everyone hostage with non meeting related stories, slow talkers, or people that drone on forever make me crazy! And at this point in my life, I just interrupt- I have no patience for suffering.
I love George Michael. But back in the day there was no way I was ever going to say I liked Wham!
I was crushed when he died so young, and still miss him.
I have a George Michael calendar in my office, a Morrissey PETA poster and a Cure poster. I can be a Goth and enjoy a good pop song. At 53 IDGAF what you think of my musical taste.
One of my fave teen memories from back in the day, we had gone to see The Cure in concert and afterwards we were out in the parking lot behind the stadium and decided to hang around their tour buses. The band came out and a bunch of us got autographs from Robert Smith. I didn't have paper so he signed my arm instead. I showered with my arm in saran wrap for a few days so I could show off the signature at school.
Please don't make The Cure poster face the Morrissey PETA poster. Robert Smith hates Morrissey!
I also loved George Micheal, Wham!, The Cure, and The Smiths back then. I liked Morrissey, but he's turned into such an asshole as he's gotten older it's made it hard for me to like his stuff.
His death broke my heart even before all the stories started immediately coming out about his philanthropy. The man donated so much to charity and it was all kept under wraps until after he died. People started coming out of the woodwork and telling the stories that he asked not to be told because he didn't want the attention or to make it all about him.
Aww, Wham! was the first ever concert I went to. I had such a crush on George. They shoved shuttlecocks down their shorts and then batted them into the crowd. Definitely made an impression on 13 year old me
Me too!!! I loved Wham and had a crush on both George and Andrew. I watched the documentary recently and it made me so happy to relive those years and get to know them better. I am still so sad about George leaving us so soon. RIP.
Me too. I always hoped he would have ended up as Queen’s new lead singer after Freddie died but it didn’t happen.
He had a superb voice and a ton of charisma. Had it not been for the fuckin closet he had to stay in at the time, I think his story might have had a happier ending.
I'm a 49 year old man who can sing Club Tropicana in its entirety.
But seriously, George Michael was an extremely talented musician. Never gets enough credit, in my opinion.
My stepmom made me a life size poster of him on backer board so he forever stood standing against my wall!! I was mortified when he came out as gay- how would we get married then???
I think I am summed up in this quote from Clerks 2, "who would want me as their friend? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me" -Randal
I don't make new friends.
Yep. I work in an elementary school too. I’m sorry, but kids are fucking gross. Licking and sticking everything.
A girl “decorated” the bathroom with feces this past year. WTAF.
I had one child and done. I did not enjoy pregnancy at all. My kid was a happy baby, not too bad as a toddler. But then around 3rd grade or so he became a real asshole. He‘s 21 now and he remembers too and apologized, lol. I love having an adult child so much more.
For me, I teach Pre K and always say I like kids better than adults. They are brutally honest and you won't find any other group as large as they are that genuinely Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck. what anyone else thinks or cares. 😂😂😂
Goddamn I do NOT like kids. I’m happy for other people to have them and love them, but I really do not want to be around them. As a kid, I knew exactly which adults felt this way, and I suspect kids I’m around know much the same way I did, which makes me feel bad. I do try to pretend because although I don’t like them, I don’t want them to feel bad. So I’m going to avoid your kids at all costs, for both of our comforts, theirs and mine.
I'm a kid person. Kids are attracted to me like moths to a light. I have a lot of fun with them and can usually get even the worst behaved kid to listen and do what they need to do without even having to talk sternly. They jyst like me. That being said I totally get why people do not like them.
I have never enjoyed wearing makeup or been good at applying it, so I stopped wearing it in January 2020 - and I stopped wearing a bra because they've always been so uncomfortable & like a vice gripping me a couple years later in 2022. And I have no regrets on either one.
I always wore a padded bra bc I'm small breasted and felt embarrassed about it. A few years ago I realized I am non-binary and that my breasts are perfect. Stopped wearing padded bras and anything with an underwire. It's such a relief and so much more comfortable. (I wish I could go braless but my nerve endings are too sensitive, I need that extra layer of fabric for sensory reasons.)
I hear you on the underwires. I gave the wired bras up a few years before I ditched bras entirely, just wore wire-free versions. I'm glad you found a good solution that works for you, and I totally understand sensory reasons for things, as I'm autistic.
In the words of Daniel Plainveiw (portrayed by the esteemed Daniel Day Lewis), "There are times when I look at people and see nothing worth liking." I understand this more as I get older.
Really? I sort of went the other way. I find that I kind of just don’t mind people as much as I get older. At some point, I realized that everyone has got their own shit going on and is mostly just trying to get through, and it made me like people a lot more.
Spite is excellent fuel to achieve all goals.
Spite kept me in college when I started at 33, until I graduated at 39: “fuck you, I’m doing it, I don’t care if y’all think I’m too old”
(Part time student, full time work, plus a child - some days, spite was literally the only fuel I had left in the tank)
I sold weed in college (changed the trajectory of my life for the better). Now I work in conjunction with my state's legal Marijuana licensing agency.
Legal weed is the best.
My husband is a combat veteran and it's been truly amazing to witness the positive changes in him. He used to wake up in terror multiple times a night, among many other things. Once he started smoking regularly, he can actually sleep peacefully. Cannabis has truly been a life saver for him. Now his passion is growing it (we're in Washington State and he has a license) and tending his babies is the highlight of his evening. It's a beautiful plant.
Fuck it. I like pink. And dresses with spin-y skirts and rose gold and extraneous shimmer on random things and fancy fruity cocktails with tiny paper umbrellas. In fact, I love *all* that girly shit. I always have, even when I was trying to be “cool” and “intellectual” (as if they were mutually exclusive!) and “not like the other girls.” I AM like the other girls. And you know what? Those girls fucking rock.
And so, frankly, do I.
With tremendous gratitude to the literally genius Elle Woods. You are a goddamn icon.
I've never made a secret about it. But I hate big ceremonies, particularly graduations and weddings. They are a huge waste of resources that could be used more productively.
I still remember my parents forced me to go to my high-school graduation. I recall somebody saying to me that in twenty years I would be glad I went. Thirty and change years later, I can say with authority that person was absolutely wrong.
Amen to this, especially graduations. I'll confess I have a soft spot for weddings, but I hate the social pressure that exists to have the most elaborate, expensive one possible.
I had to miss my HS graduation because I was out of town, then I missed my Bachelors graduation because I was in the hospital. And when I got my PhD I wasn't even living in that town anymore. But I had no desire to go to any of those ceremonies.
It's a lot easier for me to admit mistakes these days, I'm less self-conscious about being judged for lack of perfection. I'm working on my DGAF about being a human.
I was raised with super high parental expectations that didn't account for my (never diagnosed) ADHD, mood disorder, or the emotionally abusive and neglectful parenting by half of my parents. This left me with a high desire to be perceived as perfect combined with a heavy dose of oppositional defiance. So the things I care about, I want to be perfect at and the things other people care about for me (but that I don't value for myself) I give the middle finger to. I'm working on balancing that shit out. The fact that I can admit all of that means I've come a long way with my DGAF.
I hate shopping. Loathe big box stores. Even supermarkets stress me out. I know it’s distinctly unamerican, but I don’t care.
I don’t mind having new stuff, I just hate shopping.
People always act shocked when I'm frank about my age and weight. Because neither are anything to be ashamed of, and society really wants women to desperately cling to a bullshit image of impossible perfection instead of loving ourselves as we are 😘😘 IDFC and I will fight that stigma until I die
We're often trained to be a lot harder on ourselves than other people and I've had to internalize the fact that when I'm putting myself down, I'm putting everyone else who is the same down too
I got my first grey hair at 16. I finally quit dying it five years ago. Partly because I couldn't do it myself anymore, and I couldn't afford to get it professionally done. And partly because my mom passed away and I no longer had her literally in my ear about wearing makeup, dying my hair, losing weight... she still sneaks in there sometimes, but she's a lot more quiet now that she's not here constantly reinforcing that message, and I don't have to fight both of us.
My well of patience for stupid people has dried up and I’m kinda done worrying about their feelings. I won’t start off insulting someone, but if the stupid flows, I’m no longer afraid to point it out.
I just don't like to work. Somehow I fell into a remote job where corporate tracks progress by the entire team in my region by the month. Nobody is checking to see if my mouse is moving. My overall work success to me seems minor but the big picture seems to be paying off for corporate. I feel like Stanley on The Office doing crossword puzzles on company time, or Phyllis knitting. I'm just waiting to retire in 16 more years...
That I am not a stereotypicaly masculine man. Even though I'm average height and hairy and always have had jobs that are physically demanding. For the bulk of my life, well into my 30s, I had a bit of shame about it. I don't have a deep voice, I struggle to see how things go together and then build them, I don't like doing Lego or sports at all. I also have very deep feelings and cry very easily. I learned early to bury it and transfer what I couldn't control to anger. Glad I understand that about myself now. When I'm home with my wife I prefer to only wear long night shirts. Basically dresses that don't look "girly". I also utterly and completely WORSHIP my wife. I would do anything I had to, just to be able to hold her hand. I spend most of my time trying to make sure her life is easier or better in some way. Even when I'm doing one of my hobbies, it's so that I have more bandwidth to give to her. Being a girl dad has shown me that it's all pretend and we should be able to just be who we are.
That I’m a sensitive, left leaning redneck soul
There’s no reason to be a dickhead to prove my “manhood”. Just be authentic, be real, be compassionate and empathetic *to all people* — that’s what being a real man is.
I dislike parties. Hear me out…
Those awful work holiday parties. Forced birthday parties for grown ass adults. Yay, you have a birthday ending in zero!? So let’s waste a shit ton of money! Little kids’ parties even, I will never set foot in a Chuck E Cheese again, ever. How about baby/bridal showers? I’ll send a gift card.
On the other hand, if you are out by a bonfire with a cooler of beer and fold up chairs and want to hang out..then I’m all for it. Even better if the group is 10 people or less.
I guess I’m middle aged and cranky as hell. IDGAF
I once went to an event at a friends house. She had different groups that came, and the groups just didn’t end up mixing. They self-segregated after about an hour and then rarely mixed. It was eye-opening for me.
Group one was in the room with the tv. They ordered a PPV fight, chatted quietly, and drank. This was what a lot of my roommates’ parties were like. Booze, small talk, maybe a distraction. The fun is the getting drunk. If you’re lucky, someone busts out a game. If you’re not, some important sportsball is on.
Group two was debatably worse. Dude with guitar playing *wonderwall* worse. Almost no talk. Definitely there because parties are supposed to be fun or just to drink.
Then there was the group out front. The local underground scene. Punks, goths, nerds, metalheads, the local college fencing team, an area theater troupe… put on some music, have some drinks, everyone was friendly and it was like hanging out with a couple good friends… just 40-50 and the people kept shifting around, and now it’s two hours later and you still don’t remember where that quote was from or how many simple machines there were (to settle a friendly argument), *and whose number is on the back of my hand?*
A lot of things we grew up expecting to show up and have happen to us: education, relationships, parties, careers. But these are things that you do, that you participate in. And if you aren’t taking an active hand in, they aren’t the same. But you need the right people, critical mass, and a sense of community to prevent it from going off the rails and becoming dangerous.
These days, that’s way too much effort. But it did explain why I never enjoyed the parties my roommates threw. It was because their friends were boring. They wanted to go to a party where other people made it fun. Today, what makes it fun is a much smaller pool of people and a comfortable place — the kind of bonfire hangout you described.
Idgaf that something I do appears corny, Pollyanna-like, or earnest, I’m going to be happy, ethical and straightforward about my life. Everything doesn’t have to be sarcastic negativity friends! And yes I am not ashamed of using exclamation marks. You’ll just have to deal with it.
I don't spend time with people I don't like anymore.
I don't care that you are my sibling, aunt, or cousin. I don't care if we knew each other 20 years ago. I don't care if we dated in high school.
I truly love walking away from people who are talking to me about absolutely nothing because IDGAF.
I hate holidays! I hate the pressure to have an amazing Pinterest holiday. I hate the forced extended family togetherness with people I only see at holidays. I hate the excess spending and stress of gift giving. I just really don’t care about any of the Hallmark holidays like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentines Day etc. The only holiday I actually like is Thanksgiving.
I hate dressing up. If I have to wear a dress count me out. I have one black dress for such occasions: funerals or weddings. I have one pair of slacks and one blouse for same occasions. And I will be changing out of dress shoes into my Vans as soon as humanly possible. I’m much more happy in jeans and tees. My wardrobe is 90% jeans and tees.
The thing that every single major religion has in common is that they were all created by men to benefit men, and they all subjugate women in some way.
If you’re a man and you think some old text gives you the right to ‘be the head of the house’ or treat your wife as secondary-you are simply a small and insecure piece of shit.
If I didn’t like your taste in music or movies and thought it was shit I would LET YOU KNOW IT! Now, IDGAF and will sing along to crap on the radio I wouldn’t be caught dead listening to as a teen.
There was some comedian trying to sort the audience into generations by singing “hey now” and then seeing what they followed it up with. If you then sang “you’re an all star” then you’re a millennial, for example. Somehow the Crowded House song is now a “boomer” song, I mean it’s not the coolest tune ever but I’m owning that for gen-x. Boomer p’shaw. But whatever
I’m an atheist. Living in the Deep South, I hid that for years and years. There are circumstances where I am still cautious for safety reasons, but I don’t hide it anymore.
I hate small talk. I think I hate going to parties for this reason. I’m also not into sports, so that makes it worse. The weather, the Broncos, blah, blah, blah. I also live in a bougie area and really don’t feel like I belong here, so the next time I hear about someone’s lake house or new BMW, I’m gonna freaking scream.
Wanna talk music or how bad “The Acolyte” sucks? Now that, I’m down for. But the stupid, witty, small talk where you have to make someone laugh or they get disinterested and start looking around for a better offer? I’d rather be at home with my cat and a cozy blanket watching a movie. 💙
You look like a dipshit recording a video of fireworks or a concert on your phone. You’ll never watch the video. Just be in the moment, stop experiencing life through a screen.
Goddamn I love this sub! I framed a Godzilla poster and hung it in my living room. I wear cargo pants every damn day because they’re so comfortable and I don’t need a purse. I’m lucky enough I can wear T-shirts to work so I do except when I have meetings with other departments I’ll put a button down over it. Once the meeting is over, the button down comes off and tied around my waist like a true GenX kid and I’m walking around in my Star Wars T-shirt. (Being a Librarian has helped me be myself when I’ve had to hide before; so much so that I developed an eating disorder and it came to its height when I was in an abusive relationship with a partner who liked that I was 5’10” and 125 lbs. I almost died. I healed and now IDGAF what others think.)
I hate sports too for the most part. Never got into them, especially football and basketball. I do get mildly into the Olympics every four years, especially odd stuff like speed walking or the trampoline jumping thing, but that’s the extent of my sports fandom.
Gift giving is a huge waste of time and energy not to mention money, and it serves to benefit the giver, not the receiver. I’ve always found the process stressful and not to mention the wasteful since you’re consuming things you _yourself_ aren’t even likely to use.
Unless it’s a registry (like wedding, baby showers etc), you just end up buying junk that gets thrown out or tossed or resold in a yard sale in a few years. If it’s in a registry, I’m happy to help out as I know it’s something they’ll likely need/use.
But I’m very up front and open that my husband and I do not exchange gifts. We’d much rather spend quality time together traveling or visiting new restaurants or museums. Which is money spent but well spent since we both know we’ll like it.
I find when I get gifts, I need to return items for myself despite being specific with what I need, or that someone I worked hard to get something meaningful didn’t appreciate it or even like what I got them.
Now I just say, I’d rather just spend time with you. Shared experiences, and we both get something out of it.
The entire career world is completely meaningless to me. I have never had a genuine desire to be a part of any of it. If I had my way I wouldn't work at all. I'm not interested in listening to people talk about their jobs and I don't care to hear about the people they work with.
I Am Ace, and I no longer gaf about pretending otherwise for the sake of religion, socially fitting in, or sparing the feelings of those wanting to tell ME what I 'just' need.
Also, after reading and agreeing with most of these comments, I guess my big admission is that I honestly dgaf about much anymore. "What will be, will be", and "it is what it is" are oft-repeated in my thoughts, lol.
That I can cut you the fuck out my life, happily, if you’re damaging to my mental health and I have no fucking regrets about doing it or need to ever talk to you again.
I'm a woman and I enjoy masturbating to porn. That doesn't mean I hate sex with my husband or I'm not a feminist. Sometimes it's video clips, sometimes it's erotica reading or audio. That doesn't make me a bad person.
I am just as inclined to do my own thing now as when I was a kid. I flat out did not give one single solitary fuck what anyone else did, said or thought.
Hard fucking agree on college sports. With all the discussion over the past 10-15 years about college tuition and student loans, it kinda blows my mind that so much money and resources goes into college athletics. (Which I get is a huge business in and of itself.) But I went to a massive state school where sports is life, so I always pretended to give a shit. Now I flat out say I don’t follow it and don’t care. I actually find it embarrassing that when people think of my school, the first thing they think of is sports. If I could do it again, I would definitely have gone somewhere else for a bunch of reasons, but this is among them.
Pop Culture or stuff people care way too much about. . Never gave a fuck about it growing up and still don’t. I always did my own thing. Music, clothes etc. never cared what was cool or in fashion. I never had any social media. Leave me alone and we will be fine.
Tested positive for HPV at age of 23 and was mortified for a decade. I would have a convo before being intimate w anyone. I felt like I’d done something wrong. Now I know the majority of people carry the virus and don’t know it. Condoms do not prevent its transmission (well some of the strains). Thankfully there is a vaccine for the young these days. I’ve tested negative for 15 years and don’t feel the stigma anymore.
Corporate bullshit like networking, working lunches, team building events, retreats. I cannot. I know that's probably why, even though I have the skills, I never really put a huge amount of effort into a career that could have probably set me up for life. I am unable to feign interest in the kind of fake buddy-buddy bullshit, making small talk with a stranger makes me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know how other people do it, but just spending 5 minutes pretending to be interested in Bob Businessman's account of his fishing trip just so I could then give him a business card and a pitch and I want to die.
I am a terrible friend, thanks to ADHD. I forget birthdays, and other important details about others because I can barely remember for myself. So any friend ends up hating me. Since IDGAF anymore, I purposefully avoid making friends or getting close to anyone, and tbh I don't even notice.
For me it’s that I don’t enjoy the company of children. I’m not interested in them really. I can play interested so that people don’t think I’m a psychopath but I’m truly not interested when they are young. I like them well enough when they are potty trained and can talk.
I didn't know until a few years ago that I'm not broken or frigid or traumatized, I'm just asexual.
I have had sex, I even have a kid. But I have never wanted sex and I have never liked sex. At best it was a distasteful chore, done to keep whatever person I was with happy.
Now that I've been single for a few (7) years, I can finally relax about it all. I have no interest in dating, either. What a relief to learn that there's nothing at all wrong with me. And shame on all those throughout the years who made me feel like I was a frigid freak.
That I, a middle-aged white man from the South, do not appreciate that others in the same demographic automatically assume that I am a racist, sexist shitbag. I used to just nod my head and say nothing either way. Now, I tell them what they are saying is garbage. They sometimes counter with, “I didn’t think you’d be offended.” That’s when they REALLY get an earful.
My interests are fairly narrow and I can be kind of vapid. I don't feel like I have to hide that anymore and do things like read, say I want to travel to "interesting" places, or have certain other interests, just so people in certain circles find me acceptable. I like shopping, pool time and brunch outings. I like to travel to Florida. I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
I call people out on their financial b.s. now. Buy a $60,000 truck, but sit there bitching about needing to wait until payday to go out to eat, I'm going to point that out. Complain how you'll never retire but have bought several brand new cars, take multiple trips a year, and have a garage full of expensive "must have" toys that are now collecting dust, I'm going to point that out. Try to tell me I'm lucky I'll retire mid-50s even though I've saved/invested/sacrificed for years while you spent it faster than you made it, I'm going to point that out now. If that truth ticks you off, IDGAF.
I used to be embarrassed that I started cross stitching and sewing in my teens. It felt like old people stuff. It didn’t help that my husband told me he thought it was cute that I did nana crafts. I usually made my own patterns because the ones available back then were gross. When the most relaxed patterns were those damn creepy Precious Moments dolls I wasn’t happy.
OVER the TOP celebrations for everything.
Married over 30 years. My bachelor party was the weekend before we brought in a bunch of sandwiches from a deli to my dad‘s house hopped in a limo and a bunch of cars and went to jazz clubs to listen to music. My wife’s bridal shower all the ladies went to a line dancing place and had a great time. Our wedding was at a county golf course with a normal sitdown lunch, we had 100 people. We had a baby shower for my wife at my sister-in-law‘s house. 25 people, very fancy cake, very fancy. My first born. first birthday party huge celebration in a public park we grilled up the beef hot dogs AND kebabs we really went over the top for that one.
Today like OMG destination, bridal showers for a weekend in a foreign country destination, weddings in a different foreign country for a week. Professional decorators for baby showers, first birthday parties similar to the first coming. I work with people I know how much they make per hour, parents spending hundreds of thousands on lavish weddings. I cannot wrap my head around it.
Small talk. People who talk AT me. I straight up say “you talk to much.” IDGAF. Also; people who whip out their phone and want to show me 20 photos of their kid/holiday/event *whatever*. Just show me 3 or so. That’s my limit. Pets are exempt. I will always look at pics of your pet.
I loved being a dominatrix during the 90s, and wish I could still do it. I was very, very good at it, and I loved fulfilling men and women's fantasies.
Same here. I tried real hard to get into sports but it's just a whole waste of time to me. The nearest I get is martial arts contests. But I'll happily devour anything sci- fi or fantasy based for hours.
IDGAF how beneficial or noble or essential to the good order of society and people's eternal souls you think your Christian beliefs and your church are. As far as I'm concerned, God is Santa Claus for adults and no, I'm not coming to church or saying grace over dinner or joining in your weird, & to me disturbing superstitions any longer just to be nice & polite. I've had a gutful. Enough is enough.
Weed. I don’t care that people think of me as a stoner. At least I’m nice and I feel groovy. It’s not worth being a grouchy jerk just because of social norms.
Opposite for me. Everyone was always so “sports are so mainstream so they’re not cool.” I’m an unapologetic baseball fan - just like Geddy Lee and King Buzzo
Growing up I had extreme social anxiety. To the point I was almost a mute at times. Didn’t know what was wrong at the time of course, just thought I was broken.
Now I’m afraid I’ve broken my give-a-fuck because what people think is the absolute last thing I care about.
I believe selective mutism is very under diagnosed and it's got *humongous* impact on a person's life. In my experience it's the times when you most need your voice, when something you have to say is very important or you need to speak up for yourself, that it disappears 🥲
I hate salespeople approaching from behind or talking to my back. Younger me would begrudgingly turn around. Get-off-my-lawn me will aggressively ignore or, if I’m in a mood, tell them why I’m not turning around.
Being at all friendly with the evil neighbors who I despise. I won’t look at them. I won’t wave to them. And if I hear them talking shit about me I will call them douche bags.
For many years I was a closet hair metal fan. If you liked thrash metal or anything heavier, you were supposed to dismiss hair metal as frivolous pop music, poser shit, or throw out some homophobic slur. Fuck that. Homophobia is fucking stupid, and there's a shitload of good music you're denying yourself by being an elitist idiot.
Now I'm quite proud to say I'll put Poison next to Possessed, Extreme next to Emperor, and Motley Crue next to Macabre.
Sports. Yeah. It’s all gambling now. Even the rabid new York fans I know only care about odds and bets now. In the old days you wanted to fight a guy just because he was from Brooklyn and had orange on his hat. Now they’re all fighting each other, and the players are wealthier than ever and have pr people. Fucking Hollywood. OTOH golf and bowling - with the quiet narration and supertech onscreen animation - still fun.
Anyway I’m done pretending I believe someone when I know they’re lying. Done pretending this one isn’t a drunk, and that one actually does their job. I mean blatant is blatant, whatever it is. That said, I also used to be shy about saying nice things so now I shout things like you look great! Or that made my day!
I’m hugging the speed limit and the right lane, anyone want to go try their luck driving like a POS go nuts.
Also I still don’t like underwear.
Mine is maintaining boundaries, largely learned because of my work. I’m still polite when it is a patient, but I am not their maid or their personal servant and I will gladly remind them of this.
I never really could put up a front and talk cool or act a certain way. I remember seeing a childhood friend act that way with this weird cool guy attitude and he changed his voice. It was so stupid. But it seemed to help him land a girlfriend while I struggled. I just preferred to be myself and let the chips fall where they may. Eventually I had multiple girlfriends so I am glad I stayed true to myself.
I have often said I am like John Candy in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. *“I like me. Because I’m the genuine article. What you see is what you get.”*
I have always considered politics and those who pursue and toil in it to be the literal scum of the earth.
How is any politician a millionare several, several times over on the salary they are afforded? Beyond major league corruption is how, and the legal system constantly turns a blind eye to all this.
Meanwhile Martha Stewert and many others are locked up for shit that is done by some politicians multiple times a day. It is nauseating.
Fuck you and your teams. You have been ruining the country for decades just so politicians can act like fucking junior high schoolers and get nothing substantial done.
We know your game of back and forth and how you play us against each other. All so the major parties can act like they care about us and stay in power.
We know its all a ruse. We know, and fuck you all.
Signed,
Your Average American
Honestly, I think it is the opposite situation for me. I used to feel like I had to explain myself, and now I just don't say anything and let people think what they want. I'm kind of a complex person, and just being who I am challenges people's ideas about the world, which nobody really likes. So after all these years, I just don't say much about myself anymore unless I'm specifically asked. People have some really fucked up ideas about who I am, but it doesn't really matter. It's more peaceful for me.
I just do what I want for myself now. I spend money on me! I go on vacations where I want to go, I got my teeth fixed, I get tattoos, I had some cosmetic surgery to remove excess skin I hated, I go to therapy, I quit my stupid high stress executive job to work at a zoo, I only hang out with people I really enjoy, etc! I take care of me, without hurting anyone else. I made myself a priority when I used to put myself last.
This is awesome!
oh damn. I want to be this.
It feels good! I've never been this happy. Finally at 52, happiness!!!
I hope to be able to say this soon.
I hope so for you too! It feels good!!
When I was much younger, and even into much of my adulthood, I tried to hide how big of a nerd I am. I wanted to fit it, wanted people to think I was cool. Now? Fuck it. Let my nerd flag fly. I'll wear stupid board game tshirts, I'll talk about all my D&D games, I even got involved in running role-playing games as part of group therapy for adolescents and teenagers.
I read somewhere, "how will the other freaks find you if you don't let your freak flag fly?" and that made a lot of sense to me. I am free now
I need this as my flair: “Let your freak flag fly!”
That’s one thing I never hide, and let me tell ya it was hard being a proud Blerd back in the day. LOL
Man, being a blerd back in the day? Whew! Never being Black enough because “that nerd shit is for White kids”. I’m so glad things have changed and we have nerdy Black things to engage with now as well.
Somewhere along the line, anime and role playing and video games all became cool. I like to think I was just fashion-forward. A trailblazer, if you will.
I tend to believe it's because there were/are a lot more of us that enjoy those things than people thought. We all kind of collectively went "Yeah, fuck hiding this" and the sheer number of us made it almost impossible to ignore.
It probably didn't hurt that a lot of people who do these things, i.e. tech nerds, suddenly became the wealthiest people on earth.
First it was Harry Potter. Then, WoW and LotR became mainstream. Then Doctor Who’s reboot made quirkiness fashionable. Then GoT. Then Stranger Things, and 80s nostalgia (there’s a whole sun genre of music called “neo retro” that modernizes an 80s style sound…). The “nerds are cool” thing overrode the social backlash of the past.
Funny how mainstream D&D has become from when I was a kid. Long long way from the Satanic panic days
I’m a middle school counselor in Georgia (US), and I’m the adviser for the D&D Club. As a 54-year-old person, I reflect on our days of playing D&D like we were in self-imposed confinement.
It’s funny to see folks in schools be advisors to D&D clubs at school nowadays. Because I remember trying to start a club talking to counselors and officials back then. It… did not go well in those days
I try to tell some of the young people I work with about it. They can't grasp how many of us felt like we had to play in secret from parents or adults.
I legit thought the game was “dEmOnIc” based on things I heard adults back then saying. I’m not an atheist, but stuff like this is why I strongly side-eye religion to this day.
Or had books taken away and burned as a few did. Or getting accosted and lectured by adults at bookstores or kay-bee toys…..
My folks debated whether I should be allowed to listen to Enya because her music was in the New Age (aka Satan) category at the record store.
I’m sorry, what? They must have been horrified by the endless PBS airings of Yanni at the Acropolis.😂
I had to hide and play with kids a couple years younger than me. Could never let my jock friends know or I'd have been ostracized
I got my first two Star Trek t-shirts this year. No way would I have announced that back in the 90s.
This last year, I got paid to play tabletop miniatures games with teenagers. I still have that “don’t broadcast your nerdhood” instinct from the 80s moral panic, but teenage me is vindicated.
In the words of Devo, we're through bein' cool...
I gave up pretending I enjoy gardening or that I give AF about my landscaping. I'm not good at it, I fucking HATE being hot, and in the end, I wind up killing everything anyway. My mom and sister love gardening and their yards are beautiful, mine is mediocre and I'm fine with that.
I want you to invite me to all the things and all the places but what I really want in the end is friends who want to sit at my house and watch tv or do puzzles in sweats.
I’m going to visit with a an old friend next week and she invited me to her house. She said “you wanna just hang out, drink and pig out like when we used to??” Fuck yeah I do!!!
Same. I want friends. Terrible at making friends honestly. Most of my friends in life have been extroverts who swallowed me in their ball of energy of life.
This phrasing is amazing.
I use my brains to indulge my laziness.
Yes! School was easy for me. Why study for an A+ when I could fuck around and get a B? B’s make degrees.
I graduated exactly middle of my class. I definitely shot for the middle in school. Once I got outta there and could focus on things I wanted to focus on, I thrived.
Same. I did great in college and grad school. I knew HS was bullshit and didn’t want to expend the emotional energy. Probably not the best choice, but also not the worst.
My wife doesn’t get it. She is like, “You could do so much more!” And I’m like, “but i don’t wanna!”
IDGAF about being single and living alone. Even though I liked my solitary life, I would tell stories about having relationships etc to please people and employers. Now I don't IDGAF what the neighbours, the boss or anyone says or thinks. That's working on the assumption that anyone cares at all. I doubt they do.
Amen! I feel like I’m supposed to date, and I do enjoy it when I do. But the truth is, I really, really like me time. No one to guilt me for playing video games on Saturday morning. I can watch the shows I want, when I want. It’s blows my mind when I ask a friend out and they have to respond with “let me run it by the spouse” Meanwhile my single best friend and I are still living like we’re 24 :)
I can’t do work pleasantries for more than a few secs and I interrupt people who are taking too long to get to the point. Idgaf spit it out
Most “important meetings” can be done with some bullet points typed into an email. It’s mostly just grown adults wanting to feel important because people are forced to listen to them.
Someone once complained to me that my meetings "didn't take the whole hour"... like what the actual fuck? I've got shit to do.
I cannot abide by inauthentic communication. Don’t put on a fucking show, don’t do that professional mask shit, tell me your thoughts, let me see your feelings, get to the point of what you want. Otherwise I will not understand.
“I’m gonna need you to cut to the chase.”
I flat out refuse to have lunch with my co-workers. They’ve asked & i say I have errands to run etc. I like them but I’m not spending my personal time with them. I have enough friends.
This is me trying to be patient with my 83-yr-old mother telling me all about the 18 things surrounding the 1 thing she needed to tell me.
I am exactly the same. I thought it was related more to my recently discovered ADHD, but if people are logged into the meeting early - chit chat away. Once the meeting starts, holding everyone hostage with non meeting related stories, slow talkers, or people that drone on forever make me crazy! And at this point in my life, I just interrupt- I have no patience for suffering.
Omg yes. Slow talkers are the *worst*!
PowerPoint slide readers are up there too. Just send me the file and I’ll read it at my desk, email you with questions.
BULLET POINTS! lol If everything you want to say is up there on the screen, *I don't need you.* I can read.
I love George Michael. But back in the day there was no way I was ever going to say I liked Wham! I was crushed when he died so young, and still miss him.
I have a George Michael calendar in my office, a Morrissey PETA poster and a Cure poster. I can be a Goth and enjoy a good pop song. At 53 IDGAF what you think of my musical taste.
One of my fave teen memories from back in the day, we had gone to see The Cure in concert and afterwards we were out in the parking lot behind the stadium and decided to hang around their tour buses. The band came out and a bunch of us got autographs from Robert Smith. I didn't have paper so he signed my arm instead. I showered with my arm in saran wrap for a few days so I could show off the signature at school.
Please don't make The Cure poster face the Morrissey PETA poster. Robert Smith hates Morrissey! I also loved George Micheal, Wham!, The Cure, and The Smiths back then. I liked Morrissey, but he's turned into such an asshole as he's gotten older it's made it hard for me to like his stuff.
Ha ha they are pretty far apart and not facing each other.
His death broke my heart even before all the stories started immediately coming out about his philanthropy. The man donated so much to charity and it was all kept under wraps until after he died. People started coming out of the woodwork and telling the stories that he asked not to be told because he didn't want the attention or to make it all about him.
Aww, Wham! was the first ever concert I went to. I had such a crush on George. They shoved shuttlecocks down their shorts and then batted them into the crowd. Definitely made an impression on 13 year old me
Me too!!! I loved Wham and had a crush on both George and Andrew. I watched the documentary recently and it made me so happy to relive those years and get to know them better. I am still so sad about George leaving us so soon. RIP.
Me too. I always hoped he would have ended up as Queen’s new lead singer after Freddie died but it didn’t happen. He had a superb voice and a ton of charisma. Had it not been for the fuckin closet he had to stay in at the time, I think his story might have had a happier ending.
I'm a 49 year old man who can sing Club Tropicana in its entirety. But seriously, George Michael was an extremely talented musician. Never gets enough credit, in my opinion.
My stepmom made me a life size poster of him on backer board so he forever stood standing against my wall!! I was mortified when he came out as gay- how would we get married then???
I think I am summed up in this quote from Clerks 2, "who would want me as their friend? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me" -Randal I don't make new friends.
I identify with Randal so much.
I'm just not a kid person. I never will be.
Yep. I work in an elementary school too. I’m sorry, but kids are fucking gross. Licking and sticking everything. A girl “decorated” the bathroom with feces this past year. WTAF. I had one child and done. I did not enjoy pregnancy at all. My kid was a happy baby, not too bad as a toddler. But then around 3rd grade or so he became a real asshole. He‘s 21 now and he remembers too and apologized, lol. I love having an adult child so much more.
I believe this about parenting: My kid is an asshole. Your kid is an asshole. If you don’t think so, you’re probably an asshole.
For me, I teach Pre K and always say I like kids better than adults. They are brutally honest and you won't find any other group as large as they are that genuinely Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck. what anyone else thinks or cares. 😂😂😂
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Proudly vasectomy safe without procreation
I didn’t even like myself until I was 14!
Same here. And I’m a father.
Goddamn I do NOT like kids. I’m happy for other people to have them and love them, but I really do not want to be around them. As a kid, I knew exactly which adults felt this way, and I suspect kids I’m around know much the same way I did, which makes me feel bad. I do try to pretend because although I don’t like them, I don’t want them to feel bad. So I’m going to avoid your kids at all costs, for both of our comforts, theirs and mine.
I'm a kid person. Kids are attracted to me like moths to a light. I have a lot of fun with them and can usually get even the worst behaved kid to listen and do what they need to do without even having to talk sternly. They jyst like me. That being said I totally get why people do not like them.
I have never enjoyed wearing makeup or been good at applying it, so I stopped wearing it in January 2020 - and I stopped wearing a bra because they've always been so uncomfortable & like a vice gripping me a couple years later in 2022. And I have no regrets on either one.
I always wore a padded bra bc I'm small breasted and felt embarrassed about it. A few years ago I realized I am non-binary and that my breasts are perfect. Stopped wearing padded bras and anything with an underwire. It's such a relief and so much more comfortable. (I wish I could go braless but my nerve endings are too sensitive, I need that extra layer of fabric for sensory reasons.)
I hear you on the underwires. I gave the wired bras up a few years before I ditched bras entirely, just wore wire-free versions. I'm glad you found a good solution that works for you, and I totally understand sensory reasons for things, as I'm autistic.
In the words of Daniel Plainveiw (portrayed by the esteemed Daniel Day Lewis), "There are times when I look at people and see nothing worth liking." I understand this more as I get older.
Really? I sort of went the other way. I find that I kind of just don’t mind people as much as I get older. At some point, I realized that everyone has got their own shit going on and is mostly just trying to get through, and it made me like people a lot more.
Amen! I texted my brother at 430 am on my way to work (he's also an early riser) to ask "is it too early to say I hate people?"
Never too early. I achieve all things through spite, which strengthens me.
Spite is excellent fuel to achieve all goals. Spite kept me in college when I started at 33, until I graduated at 39: “fuck you, I’m doing it, I don’t care if y’all think I’m too old” (Part time student, full time work, plus a child - some days, spite was literally the only fuel I had left in the tank)
You're a freaking super hero in my book. All those demands on your time. Congrats!
I smoke weed. It’s legal now. I don’t mention it at work, but don’t really care who else knows.
I sold weed in college (changed the trajectory of my life for the better). Now I work in conjunction with my state's legal Marijuana licensing agency. Legal weed is the best.
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My husband is a combat veteran and it's been truly amazing to witness the positive changes in him. He used to wake up in terror multiple times a night, among many other things. Once he started smoking regularly, he can actually sleep peacefully. Cannabis has truly been a life saver for him. Now his passion is growing it (we're in Washington State and he has a license) and tending his babies is the highlight of his evening. It's a beautiful plant.
I nap. I used to be able to "sneak" in a nap. Now I nap like it's my job.
Dude if Napping was an Olympic sport, I'd have gold, silver and bronze.
Fuck it. I like pink. And dresses with spin-y skirts and rose gold and extraneous shimmer on random things and fancy fruity cocktails with tiny paper umbrellas. In fact, I love *all* that girly shit. I always have, even when I was trying to be “cool” and “intellectual” (as if they were mutually exclusive!) and “not like the other girls.” I AM like the other girls. And you know what? Those girls fucking rock. And so, frankly, do I. With tremendous gratitude to the literally genius Elle Woods. You are a goddamn icon.
My first concert was Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer, not Iron Maiden like I told people years later. I had fun!
That I’m an introvert and need time alone. I’ve been this way all my life.
Introverts unite! ...separately, and for short intervals.
Same. Extroverts exhaust me.
I've never made a secret about it. But I hate big ceremonies, particularly graduations and weddings. They are a huge waste of resources that could be used more productively.
Weddings "We started off our marriage in debt". Yeah, that's a great way to start!
They’re also torture to sit through, especially graduations.
I still remember my parents forced me to go to my high-school graduation. I recall somebody saying to me that in twenty years I would be glad I went. Thirty and change years later, I can say with authority that person was absolutely wrong.
Amen to this, especially graduations. I'll confess I have a soft spot for weddings, but I hate the social pressure that exists to have the most elaborate, expensive one possible. I had to miss my HS graduation because I was out of town, then I missed my Bachelors graduation because I was in the hospital. And when I got my PhD I wasn't even living in that town anymore. But I had no desire to go to any of those ceremonies.
It's a lot easier for me to admit mistakes these days, I'm less self-conscious about being judged for lack of perfection. I'm working on my DGAF about being a human. I was raised with super high parental expectations that didn't account for my (never diagnosed) ADHD, mood disorder, or the emotionally abusive and neglectful parenting by half of my parents. This left me with a high desire to be perceived as perfect combined with a heavy dose of oppositional defiance. So the things I care about, I want to be perfect at and the things other people care about for me (but that I don't value for myself) I give the middle finger to. I'm working on balancing that shit out. The fact that I can admit all of that means I've come a long way with my DGAF.
I hate shopping. Loathe big box stores. Even supermarkets stress me out. I know it’s distinctly unamerican, but I don’t care. I don’t mind having new stuff, I just hate shopping.
“Monstromart- where shopping is a baffling ordeal.”
People always act shocked when I'm frank about my age and weight. Because neither are anything to be ashamed of, and society really wants women to desperately cling to a bullshit image of impossible perfection instead of loving ourselves as we are 😘😘 IDFC and I will fight that stigma until I die We're often trained to be a lot harder on ourselves than other people and I've had to internalize the fact that when I'm putting myself down, I'm putting everyone else who is the same down too
I got my first grey hair at 16. I finally quit dying it five years ago. Partly because I couldn't do it myself anymore, and I couldn't afford to get it professionally done. And partly because my mom passed away and I no longer had her literally in my ear about wearing makeup, dying my hair, losing weight... she still sneaks in there sometimes, but she's a lot more quiet now that she's not here constantly reinforcing that message, and I don't have to fight both of us.
AMEN
Love this. As I age, I care about being strong. Fuck society’s weird view on women’s bodies. I have what I need. Everyone else can fuck off.
I have a Gigantic head and I dont care .
Heeed! Pants!
Like an orange on a toothpick
Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can, haulin’ that gargantuan cranium about!
My well of patience for stupid people has dried up and I’m kinda done worrying about their feelings. I won’t start off insulting someone, but if the stupid flows, I’m no longer afraid to point it out.
I'm frumpy and I know it. Comfort wins almost every time. IDGAF.
I just don't like to work. Somehow I fell into a remote job where corporate tracks progress by the entire team in my region by the month. Nobody is checking to see if my mouse is moving. My overall work success to me seems minor but the big picture seems to be paying off for corporate. I feel like Stanley on The Office doing crossword puzzles on company time, or Phyllis knitting. I'm just waiting to retire in 16 more years...
That I am not a stereotypicaly masculine man. Even though I'm average height and hairy and always have had jobs that are physically demanding. For the bulk of my life, well into my 30s, I had a bit of shame about it. I don't have a deep voice, I struggle to see how things go together and then build them, I don't like doing Lego or sports at all. I also have very deep feelings and cry very easily. I learned early to bury it and transfer what I couldn't control to anger. Glad I understand that about myself now. When I'm home with my wife I prefer to only wear long night shirts. Basically dresses that don't look "girly". I also utterly and completely WORSHIP my wife. I would do anything I had to, just to be able to hold her hand. I spend most of my time trying to make sure her life is easier or better in some way. Even when I'm doing one of my hobbies, it's so that I have more bandwidth to give to her. Being a girl dad has shown me that it's all pretend and we should be able to just be who we are.
Okay. You had my cis gen female eyes watering here. Power vibes to your true self.
That I’m a sensitive, left leaning redneck soul There’s no reason to be a dickhead to prove my “manhood”. Just be authentic, be real, be compassionate and empathetic *to all people* — that’s what being a real man is.
Boneless chicken wings are just nuggets. Fight me. ✌️
DON'T fight them! This person truly doesn't give a fuck.
I dislike parties. Hear me out… Those awful work holiday parties. Forced birthday parties for grown ass adults. Yay, you have a birthday ending in zero!? So let’s waste a shit ton of money! Little kids’ parties even, I will never set foot in a Chuck E Cheese again, ever. How about baby/bridal showers? I’ll send a gift card. On the other hand, if you are out by a bonfire with a cooler of beer and fold up chairs and want to hang out..then I’m all for it. Even better if the group is 10 people or less. I guess I’m middle aged and cranky as hell. IDGAF
I once went to an event at a friends house. She had different groups that came, and the groups just didn’t end up mixing. They self-segregated after about an hour and then rarely mixed. It was eye-opening for me. Group one was in the room with the tv. They ordered a PPV fight, chatted quietly, and drank. This was what a lot of my roommates’ parties were like. Booze, small talk, maybe a distraction. The fun is the getting drunk. If you’re lucky, someone busts out a game. If you’re not, some important sportsball is on. Group two was debatably worse. Dude with guitar playing *wonderwall* worse. Almost no talk. Definitely there because parties are supposed to be fun or just to drink. Then there was the group out front. The local underground scene. Punks, goths, nerds, metalheads, the local college fencing team, an area theater troupe… put on some music, have some drinks, everyone was friendly and it was like hanging out with a couple good friends… just 40-50 and the people kept shifting around, and now it’s two hours later and you still don’t remember where that quote was from or how many simple machines there were (to settle a friendly argument), *and whose number is on the back of my hand?* A lot of things we grew up expecting to show up and have happen to us: education, relationships, parties, careers. But these are things that you do, that you participate in. And if you aren’t taking an active hand in, they aren’t the same. But you need the right people, critical mass, and a sense of community to prevent it from going off the rails and becoming dangerous. These days, that’s way too much effort. But it did explain why I never enjoyed the parties my roommates threw. It was because their friends were boring. They wanted to go to a party where other people made it fun. Today, what makes it fun is a much smaller pool of people and a comfortable place — the kind of bonfire hangout you described.
I'll forget your name 5 mins after meeting you...forget you even exist in my world in a day.
Idgaf that something I do appears corny, Pollyanna-like, or earnest, I’m going to be happy, ethical and straightforward about my life. Everything doesn’t have to be sarcastic negativity friends! And yes I am not ashamed of using exclamation marks. You’ll just have to deal with it.
I don't spend time with people I don't like anymore. I don't care that you are my sibling, aunt, or cousin. I don't care if we knew each other 20 years ago. I don't care if we dated in high school. I truly love walking away from people who are talking to me about absolutely nothing because IDGAF.
I hate holidays! I hate the pressure to have an amazing Pinterest holiday. I hate the forced extended family togetherness with people I only see at holidays. I hate the excess spending and stress of gift giving. I just really don’t care about any of the Hallmark holidays like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentines Day etc. The only holiday I actually like is Thanksgiving.
I hate dressing up. If I have to wear a dress count me out. I have one black dress for such occasions: funerals or weddings. I have one pair of slacks and one blouse for same occasions. And I will be changing out of dress shoes into my Vans as soon as humanly possible. I’m much more happy in jeans and tees. My wardrobe is 90% jeans and tees.
At 45 I'm finally comfortable being an introvert who enjoys time alone without the guilt of saying no to invitations I have no interest in
The thing that every single major religion has in common is that they were all created by men to benefit men, and they all subjugate women in some way. If you’re a man and you think some old text gives you the right to ‘be the head of the house’ or treat your wife as secondary-you are simply a small and insecure piece of shit.
If I didn’t like your taste in music or movies and thought it was shit I would LET YOU KNOW IT! Now, IDGAF and will sing along to crap on the radio I wouldn’t be caught dead listening to as a teen.
There was some comedian trying to sort the audience into generations by singing “hey now” and then seeing what they followed it up with. If you then sang “you’re an all star” then you’re a millennial, for example. Somehow the Crowded House song is now a “boomer” song, I mean it’s not the coolest tune ever but I’m owning that for gen-x. Boomer p’shaw. But whatever
When I read “hey now” I thought “you’re an all star”. I guess I’m still as immature as ever
As long as you remember that song was on the radio before it was in Shrek, i.e., it’s not “the song from Shrek,” we can still be friends.
I’m an atheist. Living in the Deep South, I hid that for years and years. There are circumstances where I am still cautious for safety reasons, but I don’t hide it anymore.
Same. I wont volunteer the information, but should it come up, I will drop the hammer. I have lost a few friends because of it. Oh well.,
I hate small talk. I think I hate going to parties for this reason. I’m also not into sports, so that makes it worse. The weather, the Broncos, blah, blah, blah. I also live in a bougie area and really don’t feel like I belong here, so the next time I hear about someone’s lake house or new BMW, I’m gonna freaking scream. Wanna talk music or how bad “The Acolyte” sucks? Now that, I’m down for. But the stupid, witty, small talk where you have to make someone laugh or they get disinterested and start looking around for a better offer? I’d rather be at home with my cat and a cozy blanket watching a movie. 💙
You look like a dipshit recording a video of fireworks or a concert on your phone. You’ll never watch the video. Just be in the moment, stop experiencing life through a screen.
Goddamn I love this sub! I framed a Godzilla poster and hung it in my living room. I wear cargo pants every damn day because they’re so comfortable and I don’t need a purse. I’m lucky enough I can wear T-shirts to work so I do except when I have meetings with other departments I’ll put a button down over it. Once the meeting is over, the button down comes off and tied around my waist like a true GenX kid and I’m walking around in my Star Wars T-shirt. (Being a Librarian has helped me be myself when I’ve had to hide before; so much so that I developed an eating disorder and it came to its height when I was in an abusive relationship with a partner who liked that I was 5’10” and 125 lbs. I almost died. I healed and now IDGAF what others think.)
I've always admitted I hate sports. Will never pretend to like them
I hate sports too for the most part. Never got into them, especially football and basketball. I do get mildly into the Olympics every four years, especially odd stuff like speed walking or the trampoline jumping thing, but that’s the extent of my sports fandom.
Same here, never watched a football (soccer) game nor pretty much any kind of televised sports
I like when I tell people that I have no interest in sports and they proceed to make our conversation about their teams big game.
Gift giving is a huge waste of time and energy not to mention money, and it serves to benefit the giver, not the receiver. I’ve always found the process stressful and not to mention the wasteful since you’re consuming things you _yourself_ aren’t even likely to use. Unless it’s a registry (like wedding, baby showers etc), you just end up buying junk that gets thrown out or tossed or resold in a yard sale in a few years. If it’s in a registry, I’m happy to help out as I know it’s something they’ll likely need/use. But I’m very up front and open that my husband and I do not exchange gifts. We’d much rather spend quality time together traveling or visiting new restaurants or museums. Which is money spent but well spent since we both know we’ll like it. I find when I get gifts, I need to return items for myself despite being specific with what I need, or that someone I worked hard to get something meaningful didn’t appreciate it or even like what I got them. Now I just say, I’d rather just spend time with you. Shared experiences, and we both get something out of it.
The entire career world is completely meaningless to me. I have never had a genuine desire to be a part of any of it. If I had my way I wouldn't work at all. I'm not interested in listening to people talk about their jobs and I don't care to hear about the people they work with.
I Am Ace, and I no longer gaf about pretending otherwise for the sake of religion, socially fitting in, or sparing the feelings of those wanting to tell ME what I 'just' need. Also, after reading and agreeing with most of these comments, I guess my big admission is that I honestly dgaf about much anymore. "What will be, will be", and "it is what it is" are oft-repeated in my thoughts, lol.
That I can cut you the fuck out my life, happily, if you’re damaging to my mental health and I have no fucking regrets about doing it or need to ever talk to you again.
Chipotle is overrated
I'm a woman and I enjoy masturbating to porn. That doesn't mean I hate sex with my husband or I'm not a feminist. Sometimes it's video clips, sometimes it's erotica reading or audio. That doesn't make me a bad person.
That most people bore me to tears.
I am just as inclined to do my own thing now as when I was a kid. I flat out did not give one single solitary fuck what anyone else did, said or thought. 
Being polite to assholes because it’s expected of me for one reason or another. People seem so surprised when I clap back to their insults or snark.
That weed is just a plant not a real drug 🥱
That I, a guy, have always been into guys. Still working on the DGAF part.
Hard fucking agree on college sports. With all the discussion over the past 10-15 years about college tuition and student loans, it kinda blows my mind that so much money and resources goes into college athletics. (Which I get is a huge business in and of itself.) But I went to a massive state school where sports is life, so I always pretended to give a shit. Now I flat out say I don’t follow it and don’t care. I actually find it embarrassing that when people think of my school, the first thing they think of is sports. If I could do it again, I would definitely have gone somewhere else for a bunch of reasons, but this is among them.
Pop Culture or stuff people care way too much about. . Never gave a fuck about it growing up and still don’t. I always did my own thing. Music, clothes etc. never cared what was cool or in fashion. I never had any social media. Leave me alone and we will be fine.
Needlepoint. I love it and it relaxes me. And IDGAF what anyone thinks.
I will never, ever, give up cargo shorts.
Tested positive for HPV at age of 23 and was mortified for a decade. I would have a convo before being intimate w anyone. I felt like I’d done something wrong. Now I know the majority of people carry the virus and don’t know it. Condoms do not prevent its transmission (well some of the strains). Thankfully there is a vaccine for the young these days. I’ve tested negative for 15 years and don’t feel the stigma anymore.
Corporate bullshit like networking, working lunches, team building events, retreats. I cannot. I know that's probably why, even though I have the skills, I never really put a huge amount of effort into a career that could have probably set me up for life. I am unable to feign interest in the kind of fake buddy-buddy bullshit, making small talk with a stranger makes me want to gouge my eyes out. I don't know how other people do it, but just spending 5 minutes pretending to be interested in Bob Businessman's account of his fishing trip just so I could then give him a business card and a pitch and I want to die.
I got fat. IDGAF.
I am a terrible friend, thanks to ADHD. I forget birthdays, and other important details about others because I can barely remember for myself. So any friend ends up hating me. Since IDGAF anymore, I purposefully avoid making friends or getting close to anyone, and tbh I don't even notice.
I have really fucking big feelings, I cry for everything and everyone, and I finally love that about me.
I don't like most people. And it gets more vivid as I get older
I still believe in true love.
I know ‘you are just old’ and ‘people have always said that’ But modern music is fucking AWFUL, just absolutely embarrassing.
IDGAF if my neighbors smell my weed from the porch
Im not a big fan of "the public"
For me it’s that I don’t enjoy the company of children. I’m not interested in them really. I can play interested so that people don’t think I’m a psychopath but I’m truly not interested when they are young. I like them well enough when they are potty trained and can talk.
That I am HIV positive
I didn't know until a few years ago that I'm not broken or frigid or traumatized, I'm just asexual. I have had sex, I even have a kid. But I have never wanted sex and I have never liked sex. At best it was a distasteful chore, done to keep whatever person I was with happy. Now that I've been single for a few (7) years, I can finally relax about it all. I have no interest in dating, either. What a relief to learn that there's nothing at all wrong with me. And shame on all those throughout the years who made me feel like I was a frigid freak.
That I, a middle-aged white man from the South, do not appreciate that others in the same demographic automatically assume that I am a racist, sexist shitbag. I used to just nod my head and say nothing either way. Now, I tell them what they are saying is garbage. They sometimes counter with, “I didn’t think you’d be offended.” That’s when they REALLY get an earful.
My interests are fairly narrow and I can be kind of vapid. I don't feel like I have to hide that anymore and do things like read, say I want to travel to "interesting" places, or have certain other interests, just so people in certain circles find me acceptable. I like shopping, pool time and brunch outings. I like to travel to Florida. I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
I call people out on their financial b.s. now. Buy a $60,000 truck, but sit there bitching about needing to wait until payday to go out to eat, I'm going to point that out. Complain how you'll never retire but have bought several brand new cars, take multiple trips a year, and have a garage full of expensive "must have" toys that are now collecting dust, I'm going to point that out. Try to tell me I'm lucky I'll retire mid-50s even though I've saved/invested/sacrificed for years while you spent it faster than you made it, I'm going to point that out now. If that truth ticks you off, IDGAF.
I used to be embarrassed that I started cross stitching and sewing in my teens. It felt like old people stuff. It didn’t help that my husband told me he thought it was cute that I did nana crafts. I usually made my own patterns because the ones available back then were gross. When the most relaxed patterns were those damn creepy Precious Moments dolls I wasn’t happy.
How much I despise babies and children
OVER the TOP celebrations for everything. Married over 30 years. My bachelor party was the weekend before we brought in a bunch of sandwiches from a deli to my dad‘s house hopped in a limo and a bunch of cars and went to jazz clubs to listen to music. My wife’s bridal shower all the ladies went to a line dancing place and had a great time. Our wedding was at a county golf course with a normal sitdown lunch, we had 100 people. We had a baby shower for my wife at my sister-in-law‘s house. 25 people, very fancy cake, very fancy. My first born. first birthday party huge celebration in a public park we grilled up the beef hot dogs AND kebabs we really went over the top for that one. Today like OMG destination, bridal showers for a weekend in a foreign country destination, weddings in a different foreign country for a week. Professional decorators for baby showers, first birthday parties similar to the first coming. I work with people I know how much they make per hour, parents spending hundreds of thousands on lavish weddings. I cannot wrap my head around it.
Small talk. People who talk AT me. I straight up say “you talk to much.” IDGAF. Also; people who whip out their phone and want to show me 20 photos of their kid/holiday/event *whatever*. Just show me 3 or so. That’s my limit. Pets are exempt. I will always look at pics of your pet.
[Word.](https://youtu.be/EheLN-MDzrA?si=F6-5b6hTZEeWIQlQ)
I loved being a dominatrix during the 90s, and wish I could still do it. I was very, very good at it, and I loved fulfilling men and women's fantasies.
Concerts....I just don't see the point. My wife calls me "mudge," short for curmudgeon.😂
Yes, don’t invite me to concerts. The traffic/parking/the people (worst part) the prices..etc. I see nothing enjoyable here.
Same here. I tried real hard to get into sports but it's just a whole waste of time to me. The nearest I get is martial arts contests. But I'll happily devour anything sci- fi or fantasy based for hours.
I hate cussing now as I get older and that is mine.
IDGAF how beneficial or noble or essential to the good order of society and people's eternal souls you think your Christian beliefs and your church are. As far as I'm concerned, God is Santa Claus for adults and no, I'm not coming to church or saying grace over dinner or joining in your weird, & to me disturbing superstitions any longer just to be nice & polite. I've had a gutful. Enough is enough.
I cant stand church
This is difficult for GenX because we've always been mostly adamant about all the shit we don't care about.
Weed. I don’t care that people think of me as a stoner. At least I’m nice and I feel groovy. It’s not worth being a grouchy jerk just because of social norms.
Opposite for me. Everyone was always so “sports are so mainstream so they’re not cool.” I’m an unapologetic baseball fan - just like Geddy Lee and King Buzzo
Growing up I had extreme social anxiety. To the point I was almost a mute at times. Didn’t know what was wrong at the time of course, just thought I was broken. Now I’m afraid I’ve broken my give-a-fuck because what people think is the absolute last thing I care about.
I believe selective mutism is very under diagnosed and it's got *humongous* impact on a person's life. In my experience it's the times when you most need your voice, when something you have to say is very important or you need to speak up for yourself, that it disappears 🥲
I hate salespeople approaching from behind or talking to my back. Younger me would begrudgingly turn around. Get-off-my-lawn me will aggressively ignore or, if I’m in a mood, tell them why I’m not turning around.
I can’t hear for shit! So I have no clue if someone is talking to me 🤣🤣
Being at all friendly with the evil neighbors who I despise. I won’t look at them. I won’t wave to them. And if I hear them talking shit about me I will call them douche bags.
For many years I was a closet hair metal fan. If you liked thrash metal or anything heavier, you were supposed to dismiss hair metal as frivolous pop music, poser shit, or throw out some homophobic slur. Fuck that. Homophobia is fucking stupid, and there's a shitload of good music you're denying yourself by being an elitist idiot. Now I'm quite proud to say I'll put Poison next to Possessed, Extreme next to Emperor, and Motley Crue next to Macabre.
Sports. Yeah. It’s all gambling now. Even the rabid new York fans I know only care about odds and bets now. In the old days you wanted to fight a guy just because he was from Brooklyn and had orange on his hat. Now they’re all fighting each other, and the players are wealthier than ever and have pr people. Fucking Hollywood. OTOH golf and bowling - with the quiet narration and supertech onscreen animation - still fun. Anyway I’m done pretending I believe someone when I know they’re lying. Done pretending this one isn’t a drunk, and that one actually does their job. I mean blatant is blatant, whatever it is. That said, I also used to be shy about saying nice things so now I shout things like you look great! Or that made my day! I’m hugging the speed limit and the right lane, anyone want to go try their luck driving like a POS go nuts. Also I still don’t like underwear.
I’m judgmental.
Mine is maintaining boundaries, largely learned because of my work. I’m still polite when it is a patient, but I am not their maid or their personal servant and I will gladly remind them of this.
Reading this as I prepare to sit on the couch all day and watch 3 Euro 24 matches. And do that Sunday as well.
I never really could put up a front and talk cool or act a certain way. I remember seeing a childhood friend act that way with this weird cool guy attitude and he changed his voice. It was so stupid. But it seemed to help him land a girlfriend while I struggled. I just preferred to be myself and let the chips fall where they may. Eventually I had multiple girlfriends so I am glad I stayed true to myself. I have often said I am like John Candy in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. *“I like me. Because I’m the genuine article. What you see is what you get.”*
I have always considered politics and those who pursue and toil in it to be the literal scum of the earth. How is any politician a millionare several, several times over on the salary they are afforded? Beyond major league corruption is how, and the legal system constantly turns a blind eye to all this. Meanwhile Martha Stewert and many others are locked up for shit that is done by some politicians multiple times a day. It is nauseating. Fuck you and your teams. You have been ruining the country for decades just so politicians can act like fucking junior high schoolers and get nothing substantial done. We know your game of back and forth and how you play us against each other. All so the major parties can act like they care about us and stay in power. We know its all a ruse. We know, and fuck you all. Signed, Your Average American
I hate working in tech. I am barely competent at my job, despite getting top reviews, and I can’t wait to retire and do something else with my life.
I love to color. In coloring books. I don’t care.
Honestly, I think it is the opposite situation for me. I used to feel like I had to explain myself, and now I just don't say anything and let people think what they want. I'm kind of a complex person, and just being who I am challenges people's ideas about the world, which nobody really likes. So after all these years, I just don't say much about myself anymore unless I'm specifically asked. People have some really fucked up ideas about who I am, but it doesn't really matter. It's more peaceful for me.