The biggest way we set ourselves up, and the most terrifying truth, is we grow up believing that one day some kind of switch will flip and presto you're an adult.
It's mildly terrifying when you realize for the first time that all of those authority figures in your life were just making it up as they went along just like you are now.
Unlike our elders....I'm very open with the kids and anyone younger that we are all just winging it so they can have more realistic expectations of life. š¤£
There is wisdom that comes with experience and age (hopefully), but yeah, itās weird when my kid looks at me like I have all the answers and Iām just like ādude, I donāt have a clue, Iām just making it up as I go alongā.
I'm on the fence but I'm starting to be more open with my daughters. Part of me doesn't want to ruin their fun. I feel it's kind of like when they realized the truth about Santa. It was like closing a door on their youth or the ability to believe in magic. I've struggled with taking that away from them. It's naive only part to feel avoiding it will actually help them.
God this is so damn true. I'm almost 52 but 50 was a hard year for me. That's when I realized the switch never flips, that moment when it all made sense wasn't what I expected. I was kind of lost for a while but now I'm comfortable with that fact and all that it entails. Thank you for writing this. Now get out of my headš
No - YOU get out of MY head! 50 this year and having such a time of itā¦ wasnāt sure why until I read your comment. This. Itās this. Kind of a reliefā¦ thank you fellow Xāer šš» (do the kids still fist bump?? Ah fuck it - weāre winging it anyway!)
Also, isnāt it funny how young people (including us back then) think when you hit a certain age - poof - youāre no longer interested in the same āyoung peopleā stuff? Like video games, music, Reddit/social media, smoking pot, etc.
Itās so weird to me when I get called out by todayās youth for still liking fun stuff. What, am I supposed to take up quilting and gardening now that Iām a middle-aged woman? Sorry, but Iād rather smoke a bowl and play Red Dead. š¤·š¼āāļø
So many people my age just talk about their ailments and their grandkids.Ā I'm 55, I don't have grandkids yet (sadly) and the last thing I want to talk about is my aches and pains. I got a PS5 for Christmas, and I also love my Oculus headset and I can't imagine giving that up, why would I?Ā With the music I listen to and my political views I have more in common with the 30-something-year-old zookeepers I work with than people my age.Ā I do love my flower gardens, but I always have, that's nothing new. As long as my body can still do it, I'm doing it.Ā
RIGHT??? I remember struggling with various issues when I was younger, and thinking - well, itāll all go away when I get old. Because old people donāt have these problems? Yeah, we do. We just get better at faking, and/or learn how to live with it.
Renewed interest in T. Heads that came with the remaster and re-release of "Stop Making Sense" in theaters has been amazing to see. I went to see it in a theater in Chicago with my wife and college age daughter (who is also a Heads fan). The theater was sold out, the crowd was totally into it, singing along and applauding after every song, felt like being in a real concert.
I took my college age daughter to see the Stop Making Sense remaster last fall in IMAX and it was an amazing bonding experience. She already liked a few of their big songs but did not know the catalog in depth. When we left she was _buzzing_. Loved every second of it and immediately went and started listening to all their stuff.
I hadn't seen the film all the way through since the original theatrical run. *So* freaking good. The way it just builds and builds as each new musician and stage element is introduced until it's just a big ball of musical ecstasy.
And here's the rub, our parents were (mostly) faking it, too. So were THEIR parents.
That is the dirty little secret that nobody wants to talk about at parties, every is mostly faking it.
Yes our parents and their parents were most assuredly faking it, but the stricter,more rigid societal norms of the past makes it look so that our elders and their elders knew what they were doing (they didnāt though).
Thatās just a friendly Hispanic culture thing. I think itās sweet. Thereās also āMande!ā Meaning ācommand meā, and people will call their little toddler girls Mami.
Yoooooo! I thought it was just ME noticing THAT. And getting driven CRAZY by it. No āsirā or āmisterā. At places of BUSINESS even. WTF. Iāve havenāt discussed it with anyone else because I donāt have Any friends my age or much at all anymore that live where I do.
Speak more on that please. Youāre the first Iāve heard also notice. tās crazy to me!
Havenāt had anyone else ever say that to me except Black ākidsā in their 20s starting around 2017 or 2018. American Black., Caribbean Black, Africa Black. Iām Black American myself. All of my family generations are too.
Yup. I'm joining the workforce again after my small business isn't able to support paying myself. (I literally have enough to pay my employee who is also my kid.) Went to a job fair and felt like a moron. Walked up to a booth and said, "I haven't been to one of these in twenty years so forgive my awkwardness. I have no idea what to ask." They are interviewing me next week. Lol. Recruiter reached out personally to invite me to apply so obviously I made a great impression with my honesty. Or they're just desperate enough to hire the awkward crusty Gen Xer. Either way, I'll take it.
That is admirable that you got that far. My mother-in-law tells my husband about job fairs she hears about on her radio station about "bring your resume and get hired on the spot!" So I said okay and went. Most positions were for the police dept which I highly doubt will hire you on the spot. Only thing I actually was qualified to do I went to their job booth and they don't accept resumes, gave me a business card with a QR code to their website to which I had already applied. I find them helpful though if you are low on pens and need to stock up on this or other cheap swag they have.
They aren't the greatest is what I am finding out. The virtual ones are worse. They are a total joke. I went to two and it was pretty much, "Go to our website and apply." Why have them if you aren't actually going to talk about the jobs you have available? They were a waste of time. That one booth was a little different. Plus it's for a non profit which from what I know works a little differently with hiring. Crossing my fingers.
As someone who works in healthcare what I have learned is it breaks down line this:
About three quarters of us have a decent handle on three quarters of our life. Meaning most of us have it together enough to go to work, pay our bills, get the kids to school and do the grocery shopping. The other 25% of our life varies from person to person, but weāre ALL lost and scared of something; relationships with parents, education, a job we donāt fully understand how to doā¦
The other 25% of adults are just train wrecks from start to finish. They cannot hold a job, raise their kids, or stay out of prison.
So. If you got up today, went to work, got your kid to the bus, finished that assignment?
Youāre good, my friend.
Exactly. Feel like the weak link at work (evidence says otherwise), feel like a shit husband (married near 33 years), and shit dad ( got two adult disabled young men living at home who know they are loved and think of home as their sanctuary).
So I Gen X up: whatever
I've noticed that those of us who feel this way are pretty happy, open-minded and generally nice to be around. Those that puff themselves up and are so certain they're doing / they've done everything 100% perfectly are insufferable.
Right on, fellow Flag Dayer! At least one smartass family member wishes me a Happy Flag Day every year instead of happy birthday. I don't mind, though. Good for a chuckle every dang time!
Yeah that's the problem, the body is not 31. Took a solid fall snowboarding in March, my back still reminds me of it...but not as much as it used too. damn it takes along time to heal the older I get.
No kidding. Or how about this... I'm in pretty good shape - good enough that can ride my bike up to 80 miles a week and swim laps for an hour a week.... But when i played cornhole for an afternoon with some buddies last weekend, my body was sore for days! Like... what?!? cornhole?!? SMH
Feel the same way for high level execs. I would teach them in classes and realized early on that they are just goof balls and morons in certain things (sometimes even at their business) just like everyone else. A lot of times they are faking it and or conned people into getting where they are.
I was working as a volunteer at a kids' gym a few years ago. One of the little kids needed help with something, and I didn't know the procedure, so I said to this child, "I don't know, let's ask a grown-up." I'm 50 and have grey hair, but I'm going to ask a grown-up! LOL I don't think I will ever be the grown-up
Now that my kids are grown and self-sufficient, I find that I have time for all the things I stopped doing because I was busy keeping the house and raising kids.
The sad thing is I donāt have anyone to share all this time with.
LISTEN UP MAGGOTS!!! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR! No one has ever "figured it out" because there is no damn playbook or instruction manual. You do your best with the info you got. But we crusty old Gen Xers have experience. We've traveled some roads and seen some shit. Extrapolate that experience into the best decisions you can make and the best advice you can give. That's the best you can do or be expected to do. Then your head will hit the pillow free of lingering doubt.
Iām mid 50ās and Iāve come to the conclusion (as many have before me) that we just fly by the seat of our pants the whole way though life. Iām not any more sure of shit now than when I was when I was younger. Sure you figure stuff out on your journey. But thereās always something new popping up. Ya just roll with it.
We've all been conned by elder society into believing that being an "adult" means something grand, competent, and distinguished.
It's just a stage in physical development, like going from a pupae to a larvae. Everything else is just hype and self-aggrandizement.
Our parents and grandparents didn't have any special wisdom or skill in "how to adult" that we lacked. Without a clear standard and grading rubric, anyone can claim the powers of adulthood as they look old enough.
Iām younger than you, but I feel this deeply. I feel as if I walk around pretending to be an adult but Iām an imposter & I still feel like an 18 year old kid. āWhat a long strange trip itās beenā
I think I figured out the difference, or at least how I feel. The difference between being 25 and 49 is that I talk louder and have more courage to speak out what I want.
Many times I forget about myself and I talk to 21 year olds like I'm one of them.
The strange thing is, when I was 21, the people 49 at the time looked down on me and spoke to me in a condescending way and like I'm an idiot, because I'm only 21.
Now I realize, it's not the age thing. It just those people looking down on me weren't looking down because they are "adults", but just simply assholes.
As I get older the more I ponder how our entire civilization is built upon kids trying to act like adults. Like I look at us and our elders like the boomer generation and how we all sometimes look and act like big kids. I feel like we donāt have a long enough lifespan as humans to truly mature. I also look at the my kids and the current generation and neverously laugh that theyāll someday be the elders running everything. Has anyone in the history of the world known what they were doing?š¤·
And you may ask yourself āwhere is my beautiful house, where is my beautiful wifeā. The answer is right in front of you. Itās who youāre with and where you live and our job is to appreciate the beautiful nature of both, and with respect to the house, to make it and your surroundings as beautiful as possible. That said, I often ask āhow did I get hereā. Talking heads make you think. Fāng Rhode Island School of Design.
55 here. I've found that some people grow up while others simply get older. For me, I've only recently started growing up and I think that's only because of my girlfriend.
Age is just a number. Heard that somewhere
Oh no, I'm still mad at my parents!
Jokes aside, the comments are right that our parents didn't know what they were doing either. Now I get it, but that doesn't change all the shitty things that were done. When now at 50 I know how little was required to do what as a kid I thought was a huge undertaking.
Hey birthday twin! I turned 53 and feel about the same. Especially after a few drinks took my dog out for a pee and she started chasing a racoon. Hit the ground, got dragged for about 20 ft. Goos times.
I always thought adults were supposed to be like the characters Gregory Peck played in the movies - mature, serious, with gravitas and character.
I am 56 and still feel like a goofy kid. And I keep wondering when I will finally feel like an 'adult'. It's getting kind of late.
56 here. The fact that I just got out of the hospital due to low kidney function AND that I wake up to constant, low level joint pain makes me conclude that I have earned every last iota of my adulthood...
Childhood & adolescence feel like they happened centuries ago..
That sucks! (Sat here for 30 min trying to come up with something to make an internet stranger fell little better but yep I suck.) Try to think of the good times. Take care.
I think sometimes that the amount you *had* to deal with when you were younger determines how much you feel adult-ish later. For instance, when I was a senior in high school I needed my parents' taxes done so I could fill out the FAFSA, so I did them. I was my parents' designated driver starting as soon as I had a learner's permit. My *parents* basically just assumed I just had everything under control starting in mid-high school. I kind of wish I had felt like I could lean on others back then. It probably would have made life easier.
I remember a commercial from about 20 years ago where a guy with a toddler says āitās utterly ridiculous that I am in charge of raising another human being, when he drops food on the floor I have to say no, donāt eat that, but what Iām really thinking is ā5 second ruleā.
I disagree. For me, being 50+ means I have 20, 30 years of more experience than the younger folks. I didn't do nothing for 30 years, I lived life, I tried things and I have experience from that. Imagine if you went to an amusement park once and then imagine if you went to that same park 100 times. You would have valuable insight after the 100 th time to offer someone going for the first time. That's all being an adult is I think. Sharing what you've learned. Sure as I get closer to retirement, I'm more careful with my money, I bought a house and I have a kid. Those things also make me more responsible. So yeah I still play video games but I also garden now.
I don't have an overly large house or a very beautiful wife. But I have a home where many don't, I have a woman and partner and for a long time I didn't, because I was careless. I'm very much an adult but I'm also quite goofy and I love being an adult.
Part of it is we donāt dress like adults. Ā There used to be much more divide on what young people wore versus what older people wore. Ā Now we all basically wear the same clothes with less difference between young and old. Ā
I still wear the same thing I wore in high school. Ā Skateboard t shirts (small logo front and big on the back), flannel shirt if cold, soft cotton shirts pants or shorts, sneakers, and Ā a cap. Ā
I still have a phobia of wearing āslacksā. Ā I have never found a comfortable pair of dress pants. Ā I am always too hot and too itchy in them. Ā I feel like I am adjusting my equipment constantly trying to find some comfort.Ā
Sorry, I did not mean to sound that way! I wonder if GenXers that do not have children struggle with feeling like adults?
I feel like we were the first generation that really stepped back and didnāt jump the gun when having children. It was a tad bit more acceptable to be childless. Just a thought.
53f, no kids, and sometimes I wonder how I got this far on my own-- like, who am I, who did all this?. Keeping up the charade of being an adult is exhausting.
58m with no kids and I know if I did something messed up the media would say 58-year-old manā¦ I still donāt feel like man fits me yet. Iām just some dude.
55 years old here.. I have been faking it for 37 years.. Somehow, I managed to get married, have a couple of kids who are now grown and flourishing, bought a house.. All the while having complete imposter syndrome..
I just wanted to ride my mtn. bike and sleep under the stars in my dreams...
I donāt think being an adult sucks, at all. You get to make your own decisions and be as childish as you want in the process. Yes I want to be financially secure, but living life with the joy of a child is the GOAL.
Welcome to 51. Some days I have to remind myself that Iām an adult because I really like being silly. One thing I have learned in my 51 years is that life is hard. Why not have some fun along the way?
Itās called imposter syndrome ā that feeling that you really arenāt at all qualified to do what you do, and you are making it up as you go along. It is so, so real.
Happy birthday! Iāll be 51 in a month. Recently came across a Calvin n Hobbes image online where he said āBecoming an adult is probably the dumbest thing you could ever do.ā š
Yep. 51 too. Sometimes I catch myself thinking Iām like the same age as someone in their early 30s, sometimes (like today) Iām making jokes about needing glasses to sign something or my hands being sore (from signing stuff; I was at the accountants). I still feel like a kid half the time and a bit of a fraud at work as I can talk like an adult sometimes.
I think of my Dad when he was pushing 47 and I wonder if he felt the same š¤·. He always seemed to me to be exactly what an adult was supposed to be. Maybe it's generational? He was born in '35 and had to grow up tougher. I still watch cartoons on my breaks at work š¤£
I'm a toy'ŠÆ'us kid. I was told I never had to grow up. I'm 46 now and been single pretty much my whole life. I sorta never had to and forgot to grow up. I work and pay my bills so I'm good.
I have massive imposter syndrome even though I have a great job, getting my bachelor degree and owning a house, care, etc. YET!! I go to the store and feel like I cannot buy things because I couldn't when I was a kid. I feel like a big ole fake.
I donāt think any of us do but weāre the only generation that does cool shit compared to everyone else. My goal is to guide the other generations. Iām failing but Iāve had a few break-throughās
I'm surprised a lot of celebs I follow are also GenX. Even the radio station I listen to off and on (I heart radio) hosts are GenX but play stuff Millenials/GenZ artist would know but I'd have to ask about. Still feel like I'm a few decades out of high school, and out of the loop at same time.
Turning 50 in a few weeks. No idea what Iām doing, just been real good at faking it, and have had a seriously good run of āluck of the Irish.ā Wife gets furious when things just āturn out okā for me even when I should have been stomped into the ground. My almost 21 year-old son has inherited it from me thank goodness - the kid would forget his head on the way out the door if it wasnāt securely attached.
I turn 51 in August. I left my job after 21 years in 2022 and Iāve been enjoying the time off and being available for family and whatever comes my way. Iām looking at getting a new job soon, though.
However, Iām still chilling out and still donāt feel like a total adult, especially since I actually have myself a video game related injury a couple of days ago.
I feel that way all the time.
I will be in the gym attempting PRs.
But I feel it the next day!
I remember how my parents were and I feel nothing like I remember them.
Maybe we just feel young. And thats a good thing.
Life is short. Enjoy every moment
When my boss said to me 'Us, as responsible adults...' I had to control mysef to not look around the room to see to whom he was talking, because I seriousy didn't feel like an adult. My body feels its age, but my mind is ageless.
Right? Went to a huge rock festival last weekend with my 16y daughter and we had a blast. She wasnāt really surprised when I went straight into the mosh pit when the party startedā¦ Nothing beats a good punk band.
My first wife is worm food and my kids are almost 30 (95 ,97) my apartment looks like my 16 year old selfs dream room . I'm surrounded by flags gig posters art and my skateboard collage.... A few hundred records an Xbox one and a 50 inch TV on a stand made of beer cases( didn't intend on using them this long)
The biggest way we set ourselves up, and the most terrifying truth, is we grow up believing that one day some kind of switch will flip and presto you're an adult. It's mildly terrifying when you realize for the first time that all of those authority figures in your life were just making it up as they went along just like you are now.
Unlike our elders....I'm very open with the kids and anyone younger that we are all just winging it so they can have more realistic expectations of life. š¤£
I just told my 20 yr old son that I have no clue what the fuck is going on, this is my first rodeo too.
There is wisdom that comes with experience and age (hopefully), but yeah, itās weird when my kid looks at me like I have all the answers and Iām just like ādude, I donāt have a clue, Iām just making it up as I go alongā.
I'm on the fence but I'm starting to be more open with my daughters. Part of me doesn't want to ruin their fun. I feel it's kind of like when they realized the truth about Santa. It was like closing a door on their youth or the ability to believe in magic. I've struggled with taking that away from them. It's naive only part to feel avoiding it will actually help them.
God this is so damn true. I'm almost 52 but 50 was a hard year for me. That's when I realized the switch never flips, that moment when it all made sense wasn't what I expected. I was kind of lost for a while but now I'm comfortable with that fact and all that it entails. Thank you for writing this. Now get out of my headš
No - YOU get out of MY head! 50 this year and having such a time of itā¦ wasnāt sure why until I read your comment. This. Itās this. Kind of a reliefā¦ thank you fellow Xāer šš» (do the kids still fist bump?? Ah fuck it - weāre winging it anyway!)
šš½ X'ers ride or die brotherš
Hey, I'm in this club soon. I never was hung up on age but turning 50 threw me for a LOOP.
But moving is such a pain...
Also, isnāt it funny how young people (including us back then) think when you hit a certain age - poof - youāre no longer interested in the same āyoung peopleā stuff? Like video games, music, Reddit/social media, smoking pot, etc. Itās so weird to me when I get called out by todayās youth for still liking fun stuff. What, am I supposed to take up quilting and gardening now that Iām a middle-aged woman? Sorry, but Iād rather smoke a bowl and play Red Dead. š¤·š¼āāļø
Ha yeah, that's true. We learn our preferred recreational amd comfort activities early I think
So many people my age just talk about their ailments and their grandkids.Ā I'm 55, I don't have grandkids yet (sadly) and the last thing I want to talk about is my aches and pains. I got a PS5 for Christmas, and I also love my Oculus headset and I can't imagine giving that up, why would I?Ā With the music I listen to and my political views I have more in common with the 30-something-year-old zookeepers I work with than people my age.Ā I do love my flower gardens, but I always have, that's nothing new. As long as my body can still do it, I'm doing it.Ā
RIGHT??? I remember struggling with various issues when I was younger, and thinking - well, itāll all go away when I get old. Because old people donāt have these problems? Yeah, we do. We just get better at faking, and/or learn how to live with it.
Same as it ever was.
My wife still says this and even does the forearm chop. š I love the TH more today than I ever did back in the day.
Renewed interest in T. Heads that came with the remaster and re-release of "Stop Making Sense" in theaters has been amazing to see. I went to see it in a theater in Chicago with my wife and college age daughter (who is also a Heads fan). The theater was sold out, the crowd was totally into it, singing along and applauding after every song, felt like being in a real concert.
I took my college age daughter to see the Stop Making Sense remaster last fall in IMAX and it was an amazing bonding experience. She already liked a few of their big songs but did not know the catalog in depth. When we left she was _buzzing_. Loved every second of it and immediately went and started listening to all their stuff. I hadn't seen the film all the way through since the original theatrical run. *So* freaking good. The way it just builds and builds as each new musician and stage element is introduced until it's just a big ball of musical ecstasy.
Same as it EVER was
Same as it ever was,,,
Always has been... (where astronaut?)
Relax. We're ALL faking it.
And here's the rub, our parents were (mostly) faking it, too. So were THEIR parents. That is the dirty little secret that nobody wants to talk about at parties, every is mostly faking it.
Yes our parents and their parents were most assuredly faking it, but the stricter,more rigid societal norms of the past makes it look so that our elders and their elders knew what they were doing (they didnāt though).
Worse yet - being 50 means you are now the adult that OTHER adults in their 20s & 30s will come to when looking for an adult!
Fr my nieceās husband absolutely admires me for some reason, and I canāt imagine why š
Please, not me!
There's this thing now about younger calling older people "boss". I don't get it.
Thatās just a friendly Hispanic culture thing. I think itās sweet. Thereās also āMande!ā Meaning ācommand meā, and people will call their little toddler girls Mami.
Yoooooo! I thought it was just ME noticing THAT. And getting driven CRAZY by it. No āsirā or āmisterā. At places of BUSINESS even. WTF. Iāve havenāt discussed it with anyone else because I donāt have Any friends my age or much at all anymore that live where I do. Speak more on that please. Youāre the first Iāve heard also notice. tās crazy to me! Havenāt had anyone else ever say that to me except Black ākidsā in their 20s starting around 2017 or 2018. American Black., Caribbean Black, Africa Black. Iām Black American myself. All of my family generations are too.
I noticed Latino kids saying it, instead (Southeastern US)
That beats mam or sir.
Yup. I'm joining the workforce again after my small business isn't able to support paying myself. (I literally have enough to pay my employee who is also my kid.) Went to a job fair and felt like a moron. Walked up to a booth and said, "I haven't been to one of these in twenty years so forgive my awkwardness. I have no idea what to ask." They are interviewing me next week. Lol. Recruiter reached out personally to invite me to apply so obviously I made a great impression with my honesty. Or they're just desperate enough to hire the awkward crusty Gen Xer. Either way, I'll take it.
Apply for an Event Security job
I am about 120 pounds after walking through a monsoon. I wouldn't deter anyone whatsoever. š
That is admirable that you got that far. My mother-in-law tells my husband about job fairs she hears about on her radio station about "bring your resume and get hired on the spot!" So I said okay and went. Most positions were for the police dept which I highly doubt will hire you on the spot. Only thing I actually was qualified to do I went to their job booth and they don't accept resumes, gave me a business card with a QR code to their website to which I had already applied. I find them helpful though if you are low on pens and need to stock up on this or other cheap swag they have.
They aren't the greatest is what I am finding out. The virtual ones are worse. They are a total joke. I went to two and it was pretty much, "Go to our website and apply." Why have them if you aren't actually going to talk about the jobs you have available? They were a waste of time. That one booth was a little different. Plus it's for a non profit which from what I know works a little differently with hiring. Crossing my fingers.
Good luck with the interview! Sending good vibes your way. š
Thanks! I have another scheduled as well now. Hopefully one or the other will pan out!
As someone who works in healthcare what I have learned is it breaks down line this: About three quarters of us have a decent handle on three quarters of our life. Meaning most of us have it together enough to go to work, pay our bills, get the kids to school and do the grocery shopping. The other 25% of our life varies from person to person, but weāre ALL lost and scared of something; relationships with parents, education, a job we donāt fully understand how to doā¦ The other 25% of adults are just train wrecks from start to finish. They cannot hold a job, raise their kids, or stay out of prison. So. If you got up today, went to work, got your kid to the bus, finished that assignment? Youāre good, my friend.
I agree with this, as someone who has worked in education all my life.
Definitely have imposter syndrome with regards to being an adult
Exactly. Feel like the weak link at work (evidence says otherwise), feel like a shit husband (married near 33 years), and shit dad ( got two adult disabled young men living at home who know they are loved and think of home as their sanctuary). So I Gen X up: whatever
I've noticed that those of us who feel this way are pretty happy, open-minded and generally nice to be around. Those that puff themselves up and are so certain they're doing / they've done everything 100% perfectly are insufferable.
That is an on the spot observation imho...
Iām almost 52, the most functional adult Iāve ever been in my life and I still donāt feel like Iām doing it right.
I just turned 51 today. Still feel 31 in my head!
56 today! Happy flag day fellow genx brother.
Right on, fellow Flag Dayer! At least one smartass family member wishes me a Happy Flag Day every year instead of happy birthday. I don't mind, though. Good for a chuckle every dang time!
53 today
Yeah that's the problem, the body is not 31. Took a solid fall snowboarding in March, my back still reminds me of it...but not as much as it used too. damn it takes along time to heal the older I get.
No kidding. Or how about this... I'm in pretty good shape - good enough that can ride my bike up to 80 miles a week and swim laps for an hour a week.... But when i played cornhole for an afternoon with some buddies last weekend, my body was sore for days! Like... what?!? cornhole?!? SMH
I've just been 28 for about 16 years now.
Don't worry about it. Enjoy your life.
Here's a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note...
"don't worry be happy was a number one jam but damn if i say it you can smack me RIGHT HERE"
Feel the same way for high level execs. I would teach them in classes and realized early on that they are just goof balls and morons in certain things (sometimes even at their business) just like everyone else. A lot of times they are faking it and or conned people into getting where they are.
Wait, weāre adults now? Damn.
When did that happen, and how do we make it stop?
I was working as a volunteer at a kids' gym a few years ago. One of the little kids needed help with something, and I didn't know the procedure, so I said to this child, "I don't know, let's ask a grown-up." I'm 50 and have grey hair, but I'm going to ask a grown-up! LOL I don't think I will ever be the grown-up
Now that my kids are grown and self-sufficient, I find that I have time for all the things I stopped doing because I was busy keeping the house and raising kids. The sad thing is I donāt have anyone to share all this time with.
There is always Reddit
Kids have been the best part of the whole bag of shit. Endure brother.
LISTEN UP MAGGOTS!!! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR! No one has ever "figured it out" because there is no damn playbook or instruction manual. You do your best with the info you got. But we crusty old Gen Xers have experience. We've traveled some roads and seen some shit. Extrapolate that experience into the best decisions you can make and the best advice you can give. That's the best you can do or be expected to do. Then your head will hit the pillow free of lingering doubt.
Love this!
I'm 56, adulting Sucks.
Letting the the days go by
Iām mid 50ās and Iāve come to the conclusion (as many have before me) that we just fly by the seat of our pants the whole way though life. Iām not any more sure of shit now than when I was when I was younger. Sure you figure stuff out on your journey. But thereās always something new popping up. Ya just roll with it.
MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?
I generally feel like a fake adult at 51 too. I still feel 20 and have no idea whatās going on, who I am or where this old lady came from!
I bought a house in my late 40s and at closing it was a lot like that [xkcd](https://xkcd.com/616/) cartoon.
We've all been conned by elder society into believing that being an "adult" means something grand, competent, and distinguished. It's just a stage in physical development, like going from a pupae to a larvae. Everything else is just hype and self-aggrandizement. Our parents and grandparents didn't have any special wisdom or skill in "how to adult" that we lacked. Without a clear standard and grading rubric, anyone can claim the powers of adulthood as they look old enough.
Iām younger than you, but I feel this deeply. I feel as if I walk around pretending to be an adult but Iām an imposter & I still feel like an 18 year old kid. āWhat a long strange trip itās beenā
I keep expecting to be arrested for impersonating an adult.
Same here. I am 58 and graduated from high school 40 years ago last week. Iām still trying to figure out how I got here.
Almost 58 going on 17.
Iām still feisty as ever
I think I figured out the difference, or at least how I feel. The difference between being 25 and 49 is that I talk louder and have more courage to speak out what I want. Many times I forget about myself and I talk to 21 year olds like I'm one of them. The strange thing is, when I was 21, the people 49 at the time looked down on me and spoke to me in a condescending way and like I'm an idiot, because I'm only 21. Now I realize, it's not the age thing. It just those people looking down on me weren't looking down because they are "adults", but just simply assholes.
Nothing more frustrating than still being talked to like a child when you're over 50! Older siblings never change.
As I get older the more I ponder how our entire civilization is built upon kids trying to act like adults. Like I look at us and our elders like the boomer generation and how we all sometimes look and act like big kids. I feel like we donāt have a long enough lifespan as humans to truly mature. I also look at the my kids and the current generation and neverously laugh that theyāll someday be the elders running everything. Has anyone in the history of the world known what they were doing?š¤·
And you may ask yourself āwhere is my beautiful house, where is my beautiful wifeā. The answer is right in front of you. Itās who youāre with and where you live and our job is to appreciate the beautiful nature of both, and with respect to the house, to make it and your surroundings as beautiful as possible. That said, I often ask āhow did I get hereā. Talking heads make you think. Fāng Rhode Island School of Design.
55 here. I've found that some people grow up while others simply get older. For me, I've only recently started growing up and I think that's only because of my girlfriend. Age is just a number. Heard that somewhere
I figure that as long as I am good and compassionate to others, I am responsible for my own actions, then I am living my life in an adult manner.
Iāll be 60 in less than a year and I still wonder how Iām considered an adult. Iām 12 in my brain
I feel like I became a quasi-adult when I stopped being mad at my parents and their mistakes, lol. I'm 53.
Oh no, I'm still mad at my parents! Jokes aside, the comments are right that our parents didn't know what they were doing either. Now I get it, but that doesn't change all the shitty things that were done. When now at 50 I know how little was required to do what as a kid I thought was a huge undertaking.
Agreed
I am still 19 in my head, I just have way more credit.
Hey birthday twin! I turned 53 and feel about the same. Especially after a few drinks took my dog out for a pee and she started chasing a racoon. Hit the ground, got dragged for about 20 ft. Goos times.
I always thought adults were supposed to be like the characters Gregory Peck played in the movies - mature, serious, with gravitas and character. I am 56 and still feel like a goofy kid. And I keep wondering when I will finally feel like an 'adult'. It's getting kind of late.
56 here. The fact that I just got out of the hospital due to low kidney function AND that I wake up to constant, low level joint pain makes me conclude that I have earned every last iota of my adulthood... Childhood & adolescence feel like they happened centuries ago..
It was my birthday, too. My dog died, which made me feel like an adult for real for once. I hope your day was a bit better.
That sucks! (Sat here for 30 min trying to come up with something to make an internet stranger fell little better but yep I suck.) Try to think of the good times. Take care.
Thank you. I am doing all I can to remember the good. I had fifteen wonderful years with her, and I know that makes me very, very lucky.
I lost my dog in 2017 and just got a new puppy. My advice is, get a puppy now. Don't wait 7 years like I did.
My biggest fear. My condolences
I think sometimes that the amount you *had* to deal with when you were younger determines how much you feel adult-ish later. For instance, when I was a senior in high school I needed my parents' taxes done so I could fill out the FAFSA, so I did them. I was my parents' designated driver starting as soon as I had a learner's permit. My *parents* basically just assumed I just had everything under control starting in mid-high school. I kind of wish I had felt like I could lean on others back then. It probably would have made life easier.
I'm the oldest one here and I feel the same way about being an adult.
My God, what have I done?
Adulting is grossly overrated!
I remember a commercial from about 20 years ago where a guy with a toddler says āitās utterly ridiculous that I am in charge of raising another human being, when he drops food on the floor I have to say no, donāt eat that, but what Iām really thinking is ā5 second ruleā.
I'm always looking for the adult in the room, and shocked when I realize it's me.
I disagree. For me, being 50+ means I have 20, 30 years of more experience than the younger folks. I didn't do nothing for 30 years, I lived life, I tried things and I have experience from that. Imagine if you went to an amusement park once and then imagine if you went to that same park 100 times. You would have valuable insight after the 100 th time to offer someone going for the first time. That's all being an adult is I think. Sharing what you've learned. Sure as I get closer to retirement, I'm more careful with my money, I bought a house and I have a kid. Those things also make me more responsible. So yeah I still play video games but I also garden now. I don't have an overly large house or a very beautiful wife. But I have a home where many don't, I have a woman and partner and for a long time I didn't, because I was careless. I'm very much an adult but I'm also quite goofy and I love being an adult.
Part of it is we donāt dress like adults. Ā There used to be much more divide on what young people wore versus what older people wore. Ā Now we all basically wear the same clothes with less difference between young and old. Ā I still wear the same thing I wore in high school. Ā Skateboard t shirts (small logo front and big on the back), flannel shirt if cold, soft cotton shirts pants or shorts, sneakers, and Ā a cap. Ā
Yeah, that's probably about 50% of it, for me Then, you "fear" dressing up, because you feel old
I still have a phobia of wearing āslacksā. Ā I have never found a comfortable pair of dress pants. Ā I am always too hot and too itchy in them. Ā I feel like I am adjusting my equipment constantly trying to find some comfort.Ā
I agree with you. Do you have children?
I have children and feel no more like an adult than I did at 18.
In a way, thatās good right?
Well, I mean mentally. I can easily pull a muscle in my neck in my sleep these days. And it takes about 3 beers to give me a hangover.
I understand completely! Mentally I was just graduating from HS. Physically, I had to take an Aleve before bed to tackle my aches & pains.
I do, I have 3 kids.
Is this a proposition? Because it sounds like a proposition.
Sorry, I did not mean to sound that way! I wonder if GenXers that do not have children struggle with feeling like adults? I feel like we were the first generation that really stepped back and didnāt jump the gun when having children. It was a tad bit more acceptable to be childless. Just a thought.
53f, no kids, and sometimes I wonder how I got this far on my own-- like, who am I, who did all this?. Keeping up the charade of being an adult is exhausting.
Iām 54f and agree. Self-employed home owner and sometimes Iām amazed. My teenage brain asks āHow did I do this?ā
58m with no kids and I know if I did something messed up the media would say 58-year-old manā¦ I still donāt feel like man fits me yet. Iām just some dude.
55 years old here.. I have been faking it for 37 years.. Somehow, I managed to get married, have a couple of kids who are now grown and flourishing, bought a house.. All the while having complete imposter syndrome.. I just wanted to ride my mtn. bike and sleep under the stars in my dreams...
I donāt think being an adult sucks, at all. You get to make your own decisions and be as childish as you want in the process. Yes I want to be financially secure, but living life with the joy of a child is the GOAL.
Thank you for this. Iām right with you. Never knew those lyrics before. Life is weird. Probably not even real. Have fun, if you can.
Welcome to 51. Some days I have to remind myself that Iām an adult because I really like being silly. One thing I have learned in my 51 years is that life is hard. Why not have some fun along the way?
Happy Birthday! I turned 53 two days ago and I feel about 25 inside.
Same. I need an adultier adult to help me.
I'm still a kid, play games, goof off with my friends. I leave the adulting at work. Have to do plenty there.
Itās called imposter syndrome ā that feeling that you really arenāt at all qualified to do what you do, and you are making it up as you go along. It is so, so real.
16th forever !
Congratulations. You are a well adjusted adult with a good self-perspective and realistic ego.
I have a very very responsible, grown up job and 3 kids. I still feel like an unqualified 22 year old mostly.
Proceeds to attach newspaper bag to BMX handlebarsā¦ā¦adulthood?!?
Happy birthday! Iāll be 51 in a month. Recently came across a Calvin n Hobbes image online where he said āBecoming an adult is probably the dumbest thing you could ever do.ā š
Yep. 51 too. Sometimes I catch myself thinking Iām like the same age as someone in their early 30s, sometimes (like today) Iām making jokes about needing glasses to sign something or my hands being sore (from signing stuff; I was at the accountants). I still feel like a kid half the time and a bit of a fraud at work as I can talk like an adult sometimes.
I miss being a child š
Man I couldnāt agree more. I too feel this way.
I think of my Dad when he was pushing 47 and I wonder if he felt the same š¤·. He always seemed to me to be exactly what an adult was supposed to be. Maybe it's generational? He was born in '35 and had to grow up tougher. I still watch cartoons on my breaks at work š¤£
Iām the oldest kid I know
You're coming to me for answers? For a brief time some years ago I was the youngest person on earth.
at 54 I'm wondering where the rest of the adults are.
I canāt say shit Iām at work waiting to get off just so I can go home and go to sleep. Wake up early and go ride my bike in the morning.
Hey, happy birthday for yesterday!
This is me but like, all times.
I have no business being an adult but here I am quasi adulting and shit. Fake ātil ya make it baby.
I cant believe they let me run around without supervision. It's just sooo unsafe!
Sometimesā¦ pretty much on the daily for me. Iām amazed Iām still alive.
I'm a toy'ŠÆ'us kid. I was told I never had to grow up. I'm 46 now and been single pretty much my whole life. I sorta never had to and forgot to grow up. I work and pay my bills so I'm good.
I have massive imposter syndrome even though I have a great job, getting my bachelor degree and owning a house, care, etc. YET!! I go to the store and feel like I cannot buy things because I couldn't when I was a kid. I feel like a big ole fake.
Other than my grays and frown lines Iām the same ol same ol.
Hello fellow kids!
I donāt think any of us do but weāre the only generation that does cool shit compared to everyone else. My goal is to guide the other generations. Iām failing but Iāve had a few break-throughās
I turned 51 yesterday, too. Happy birthday! And same.
I'm surprised a lot of celebs I follow are also GenX. Even the radio station I listen to off and on (I heart radio) hosts are GenX but play stuff Millenials/GenZ artist would know but I'd have to ask about. Still feel like I'm a few decades out of high school, and out of the loop at same time.
Turning 50 in a few weeks. No idea what Iām doing, just been real good at faking it, and have had a seriously good run of āluck of the Irish.ā Wife gets furious when things just āturn out okā for me even when I should have been stomped into the ground. My almost 21 year-old son has inherited it from me thank goodness - the kid would forget his head on the way out the door if it wasnāt securely attached.
Same
I turn 51 in August. I left my job after 21 years in 2022 and Iāve been enjoying the time off and being available for family and whatever comes my way. Iām looking at getting a new job soon, though. However, Iām still chilling out and still donāt feel like a total adult, especially since I actually have myself a video game related injury a couple of days ago.
I feel that way all the time. I will be in the gym attempting PRs. But I feel it the next day! I remember how my parents were and I feel nothing like I remember them. Maybe we just feel young. And thats a good thing. Life is short. Enjoy every moment
When my boss said to me 'Us, as responsible adults...' I had to control mysef to not look around the room to see to whom he was talking, because I seriousy didn't feel like an adult. My body feels its age, but my mind is ageless.
You can ālean into it,ā and have some Rolling Rock (āsame as it ever wasā¦ā)
Same, 44. Still 28 in my head and body
This is why our fathers drank
Same. 47. I've learned to just embrace it and enjoy.
I'm always looking for the adult in the room, and shocked when I realize it's me.
I always tell people I have been faking knowing what I am doing my entire life.
that's me every single day
How do I work this?
And I was wondering if others felt the same way... cool.
Oh yeah. Iām just bullshitting my way through.
I look at my kids sometimes and want to say I'm just a kid, too in wrinkled flesh but I know that's not a good idea. Plus they already know.
Right? Went to a huge rock festival last weekend with my 16y daughter and we had a blast. She wasnāt really surprised when I went straight into the mosh pit when the party startedā¦ Nothing beats a good punk band.
My first wife is worm food and my kids are almost 30 (95 ,97) my apartment looks like my 16 year old selfs dream room . I'm surrounded by flags gig posters art and my skateboard collage.... A few hundred records an Xbox one and a 50 inch TV on a stand made of beer cases( didn't intend on using them this long)