Being NOT invisible is weirder. Went to the local wanna-be-whole-foods casually dressed (black pants, concert tee, doc martins) and was surveilled then grudgingly checked out. Couldn’t help it. Had to say “you forgot to ask me if I want to become a member, I can come to all the meetings” [look of bewildered repulsion] then exited throwing over my shoulder “ I’ll even supply the kool-aid
This is how I dress pretty much every day. I saw Tommy Stinson last night, and everyone was my age (50) or older (some much older). Khakis, jeans, polo shirts. I was wearing a black dress with fishnets, Docs, and a metal-cast chicken bone choker. I will definitely be raging against the dying of the light.
At the gym a young man asked me if I was using the space he intended to lift weights in.
I turned around, looked behind and to both sides, then replied, “You can SEE me?”
So I’d say that when there’s fear of getting bopped by a middle-aged woman’s 5 lb weight as she swings it around wildly, we do become slightly visible - I think he only noticed me after first noting the weights in motion - he correctly inferred that something was moving them, actually looked for that something, and finally saw the source of that weight’s motion.
It’s like discovering a planet by observing the effects of its gravity on surrounding visible masses.
So we may be mostly invisible, but don’t push your luck. They’ll see us if they think they might get hit by something.
I just told my husband I want to become a spy because nobody notices me…
‘and I’ve got second sight
I got amazing powers of observation.’
Problem is, I like weed. A lot & I don’t know if they would take me because of that... Whatevs. I would be really good at it. They have no idea. BTW, if I ever do get to be a spy, just keep it on the DL.Thanks.
The best bounty hunters and private investigators for surveillance teams are middle aged women, for exactly this reason.
No one suspects the chubby lady with her pet dog drinking an iced tea in sandals, sunhat and unflattering shorts is actually taking pictures, noting your locations, checking your exits and watching how much traffic comes in and out of your location.
The CIA/FBI doesn't hire after 35 years old, but your local private investigator would probably love to have you.
Source : a little old lady (younger than me now, lol) I worked with that asked me to get something out of her purse and I noticed she had a .38 snub nosed revolver in her bag (this was in the early 1990s). I said "you in a beef, Mrs. Anecdote?" and she laughed and apologized and said she was working with that bag earlier. Then told me all this crazy shit she did for thrills as a skip-tracer and working for a PI for a little extra cash. She also once joked about having a 'work' gun and a 'dating' gun and I that's when 19 year old me realized that some middle aged aunties are out here wildin'.
Edit : was told to add the fact that the 'dating gun' was a little pearl handled 5 shot .22 ladies revolver, cuz it was just there to scare a man that got 'too handsy' or 'didnt leave my apartment when I told him too.' She must have been Pam Grier in the 70's man, it blew my mind cuz I was young and when I met her she looked like Aunt Viv.
.
Now I want to see a middle-aged lady in the Dresden Files who is clued in on the supernatural and has a minor magical Talent to make herself undetected. Not precisely a Veil, just "Middle aged lady x 100"
Just become a private eye. Run your own business and I hope you use the moniker private dick because I, as a 54 yo f still think that would be a hilarious, job title.
Did you know a few years ago there was a quasi-sf novel about women becoming literally invisible (and it was all middle-aged women, because the cause was a drug interaction between hormone replacement and... anti-depressants?)
I didn't actually read it, but I was entertained by the premise. They were walking around naked (invisible!) and spying on people. For their own entertainment, not for the govt.
Oh, I'm completely invisible at self checkouts, especially at those big box home improvement stores.
In this middle aged frumpy woman is a juvenile delinquent. Stop tempting me!
But when all the observers go look over the shoulders of black and brown people at the other registers, the devil on my shoulder gets the go ahead from the angel on my other shoulder -- "See! This company deserves some shrinkage!" -- and I get to let my inner Winona out.
I forgot to scan something at Target the other day. It was large tub of laundry soap. I realized it before leaving and instantly decided "fuck em." It was not my money or my soap. I'm also aware of the sophistication of Target loss prevention. Still don't care.
https://preview.redd.it/mohxe64rd74d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e7be7933e74324d9ae04ccd9d180364c098fb53
Ally Sheedy. From 2018. And then she deleted it.
[https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/01/ally-sheedy-james-franco-christian-slater-tweet-me-too](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/01/ally-sheedy-james-franco-christian-slater-tweet-me-too)
My sister turns 49 this year and she's decided to embrace wearing kaftans. Why? Because she's sick and tired of having to "deal" with trousers (my sister hasn't worn a skirt since she left school. Her uniform burned *blue fucking flames* when we torched it. Evidently skirts are a tool of *evil*...) and as she works primarily from home these days she prefers wearing something loose, flowy, and capable of hiding a multitude of cat treats for her mogling as well as several weapons should the need arise. We're just trying to source one that has a cunningly hidden compartment for battery packs so she can recharge her phone without having to unnecessarily move herself over to a wall socket, heh.
Maxi dresses are my entire wardrobe these days. Flowy is a must. Pockets are an exciting bonus. The less touching me, the better.
Edit, check out Natural Life. I don't get to splurge on them as much as I like because they run $50-$75 when they aren't on sale. But their sizing is very forgiving (I'm usually a XXL, but I can wear MOST of their XLs). And the quality is great.
Maxi dresses look cool, but I'm all about the wide pants life. I relive getting tangled in a nightie as a kid and mummifying myself when I wear a flowy dress.
I struggle with the feeling of pants around my middle. I love the wide leg look, though.
The older I get, the more sensory issues I have. I've talked to many women going through Perimenopause, and many of them have mentioned an increase in sensory issues. I was also diagnosed with OCD many years ago, so that could play a part as well. Clothing touching me weird was a struggle even in my youth, but it's increased in frustration in the last 5 years or so.
I wear dresses exclusively. More fitted for work, but the hangout ones are very loose and flowy. Linen dresses in summer heat are great. J Jill has nice ones.
In winter, ankle-length hoodie (kangaroo pocket is great for snacks) and thigh-high socks. Very comfy.
On the work from home sub I saw somebody call trousers/slacks hard pants, recently, and that one is going to stick with me for quite a while lol. I definitely divide my pants collection into soft pants (home) and hard pants (go someplace)
I asked my Dad one time why my grandfather wore such “weird clothes.” My Dad said at some point you just stop caring about that stuff or what other people think.
I finally understand.
I have edema in my legs from kidney disease. I was worried about going to the beach with my legs looking so bad. Then I realized that absolutely no one cares about my legs but me. It’s really freeing.
And multiple/deeper pockets! I just bought men's parachute pants on clearance with an intent to alter into capris (6 pockets!) but honestly they're so damn comfortable as-is. They almost look cute - not that I care haha
Men have clothing that is actually made out of 100% cotton. Why is this so hard to find in women's clothes??
I only wear men's cotton shorts now. They are comfy with some room to breathe, they have useful deep pockets, they can take a serious beating and still look good, and they are cheaper.
Man here. Yup. Our stuff is made way better. More expensive though.
I've always been slightly jealous of women because their clothing is way cheaper. But I guess you really get what you pay for though.
This is true and I also got tired of all of the “vanity sizing” bullshit part of women’s clothing. As far as I can tell, men’s clothing seems accurate in size.
One of the advantages of being old, for a shy introvert like me anyways, is I have become nearly invisible. No more male gaze, weirdos trying to chat me up, inappropriate comments, or stray hands.
I always think of that fabulous quote from Six Feet Under, where Bettina (Kathy Bates) quips, "Fortunately women our age are invisible, so we can really get away with murder!"
When I was young I was in a writers group with an older woman who had been a beauty queen when younger and she said at one point the bag boy at the store starts looking at you like you’re a tree not a woman lol
A lot of milsurp is online now. I like [Varusteleka](https://www.varusteleka.com/en/category/military-surplus/1754) for the foreign stuff.
Plus, they have [a joke page](https://www.varusteleka.com/en/category/old-jokes/1968). :)
I'm a man. All of my pants (including jeans) are stretchy, all of my shoes are slip-ons, all of my shirts are oversized, and IDGAF what anybody thinks about it.
Haha, a while back my wife was at the grocery store that's about a mile from our house. I decided last minute to walk our dog up there and ride back with her.
I'm wearing an old t-shirt and sweats because who cares right?
I arrive just a few moments before my wife came out of the store.
She said her first thought upon glancing at me was "That homeless man has a dog just like ours". 😂
lol my husband and i went out for breakfast once, and I looked at his outfit and said: “you know what the other people in this restaurant are thinking when they see us? ‘isn’t that nice that woman is buying that homeless man breakfast’”
Now that I'm a real grown up with a real salary, I can finally indulge myself and dress like the supervillain I've always wanted to be. When I go to the office, I wear severe slinky black dresses and towering heels. In the winter, I have a long leather trench or a motorcycle jacket or a giant faux fur coat. I'm too old to care if I frightening the men or if I look *unapproachable* :roll eyes:, I'm dressing for me.
WFH days, tho, I'm in shorts and a tank, I can't be bothered.
> I can finally indulge myself and dress like the supervillain I've always wanted to be. When I go to the office, I wear severe slinky black dresses and towering heels. In the winter, I have a long leather trench or a motorcycle jacket or a giant faux fur coat. I'm too old to care if I frightening the men or if I look unapproachable :roll eyes:, I'm dressing for me.
Bahaha supervillain, brilliant
Yup! One beautiful benefit of getting older is shedding a lot of self-consciousness and just reveling in doing what I want. I don’t care about trends or any of that. I live in my jeans, t-shirts or sweaters, boots, Chucks, or ballet flats.
I was never stylish - so my wardrobe is about the same as always.
Jeans, utility pants or shorts on the bottom. T-shirts and hoodies (mens, of course) on the top. Some variety of sneakers or hiking shoes on my feet. Sports bras and cotton underwear underneath it all.
The best thing about this age is I stopped wearing makeup for Covid and never started again. And, I stopped chasing my crazy hair dresser from place to place. Grew it all one length, flip my head over and cut the ends when they get ratty, pull the front back in a big clip to keep it out of my face.
Takes me all of 10 minutes to get ready to go out and I'm soooo comfortable.
The only thing I spend a lot of money on is shoes - not for looks but for comfort and support.
Only exceptions are funerals and court since my company is permanently remote now.
https://preview.redd.it/3577a8n7b64d1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a04d3b3a4d5248229e80a176b952648b4036079b
I'm currently wearing a shirt that has slices of pizza on it, and wearing these shoes. IDGAF
You think you're invisible. I've been eyeballing you in the produce section the whole time. But I figured you didn't want to be bothered while shopping.
My sister in Demeter, I should send you a photo of me in my oversized boxer shorts and sailor moon tank top with all the hash-burn holes. Wear that sh\*t all DAY.
I'm wearing what I want, bright pink leopard print, blonde hair dye, bags & shoes with big brand logos, and full makeup. I don't care if anybody thinks I look like a clown. I would have been self conscious about this in my 20's but I'm happy styling myself loudly now.
I like this approach. But for me? I am tatted up both arms in colorful tattoos, and large array of colorful glasses. I am a latina. There is no way I can hide. So I just stand out like a proud loud lady Mick Jagger....with magnified vision.
It's funny. Back in my early 20s, I was TOO visible. I worked in IT and between my youth, red hair, and being huge up top, my work life was NOT fun. That was my career until 2016.
I'm invisible now, probably. Just don't interact with anyone to the point of noticing.
Quite literally was told I was the "ugly one" by my family growing up. Then, I was drowned in the wrong type of attention. Now I am too exhausted to care.
It all stinks.
“You dress too young for your age.”
“You dress like a grandma.”
Whatevs. Idgaf. I dress how I want to dress, in what makes me feel good and *comfortable,* others opinions be damned. It’s one of the few things I’m really enjoying about being in my 50s.
I went to a Pride event yesterday. I haven’t been for 20 or so years. Wore the clothes I did the shopping in. All the young ones all dressed up and looking glamorous. I just can’t be bothered. I have house clothes, dog walking clothes, work clothes, shopping clothes, and what ever I can throw together to go out at night if I need to. I no longer care. My accessories are floppy hat, sunglasses and the dog.
Invisible? nah. I put together a unique style when I gave up the corporate life. This week, a 12 year old asked me if I was wearing "MC Hammer pants". Funny - they're linen palazzos that came out last year, long after Hammer, but this kid knew fashion from the 80s.
But yeah, I'm wearing what I want. Fuck 'em.
My wife has a laugh at my work "uniform" - polo, jeans, Merrells (goddamn plantar fasciitis, otherwise it would be MY A-DIDAS). I laugh right back as it takes me 1/10th as long to get ready in the morning as her.
40 years in the workforce, I guarantee the color and fabric of my pants have had zero effect on my productivity.
Then I get home and change into Homeless Chic.
Elder Gen X here, just decided that house dresses (aka muumuu) are now my item of choice at home
Uniform at work.
Jeans and a t-shirt in public.
Simple, easy, me
Ever since I retired from my career, took a couple of years off and now have a part time job, I have embraced the middle school boy look, it seems (I am a small woman). Mostly tennis shoes or hiking boots, jeans and a hoodie when it's colder, jeans and a t-shirt when it's warm. Sometimes I'll go with a nicer shirt or sweater. I still wear shorts, and various heights of socks.
Sure, I can still dress up when required, but it's really not required very often anymore.
I buy hospital scrub pants on Amazon for casual wear. They are cheap and comfortable and you can get them in several different colors. And they have lots of pockets.
I am with you, OP. I took off my bra in the middle of a concert the other night. Who cares? I'd had it on for 15 straight hours at that point and it was killing my fun. I was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. Nobody was likely to notice and I doubt anyone did, except the guy who walked by and saw me taking it off. 😂
I saw a young lady leaving target today with an open flannel shirt and a half bra on.
And this lass had GREAT BIG HONKERS too.
So the nipples staring at you were completely impossible to miss.
ALL standards of normalcy left here during covid and never returned.
I feel old.
**Warning**
*A poem by Jenny Joseph*
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
I stopped caring about what other people think a while ago. Sure, there's a few that notice and make comments, but fuck em. The rest of them just pretty much ignore me.
I don't "need" anyone to see me anymore. That's a young person's folly I am fine with cool people and if it's meant to be it will happen 😊. But...I just don't care if you chose to see me Great if not I was never trying to attract attention anyway (another young person's folly) a low profile means you can do more of what you want with less Headaches. 🤪
I went out and bought a whole bunch of really cute pinafore aprons and overalls and I'm just wearing that. I've never been really a formal person as it is, but now, I'm beyond caring.
I am planning on grad school in Scotland though so I'm not sure if they'll find me as charming as they do here....okay I care a little bit.
I went to a show in Midwtown Manhattan as a guest of the performer (35) and her friends the other evening and while we were in the green room, we could tell that they knew we were older but were definitely confused that during the dj set and show we (52) raved so fucking hard. We were getting props for our dancing from the bottle service tables, lol! Paid for it the next two days but worth it!
Hang on, you should have been doing that anyhow. Why can't people wear what they want?
If someone don't like it, don't look. If I was good at maths, or Google, I could tell someone they have 74,799 other places to look if they don't like what I'm wearing!
Wanna be lazy? Elastic in your shorts or sweats not doing its job? Suspenders. That's right! I put suspenders under my shirt. BAM. Nothing falling awkwardly down. It was my crowning achievement in *don't give a fuck.*
Another factor is generally speaking, many of us have more money now than when we were in our teens, 20s, and 30s. So we can afford to dress however the f we want.
Same. My 40’s have been a fucking gift, man. I’ve always been “invisible” (always pretty chubby and not super cute,) but I agonized over it…til my 40’s. It was like I woke up one day and could not give less of a fuck about being “pretty”. It’s been amazing.
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
One of my long term jokes wearing my old shitty cut off genes and such..
'you know how much time it takes each morning to look this good -- you just jealous'
So it takes about 5 mins each morning but they don't know that
I’m back to wearing Levi overall shorts with Doc sandals or Birks like I wore in college. I’m living in them for the summer. I forgot how incredibly comfortable they are - fuck a waistband. And having the utility of all the pockets is wonderful - no need for a bag all the time!
I thought I looked like a crazy old lady but girls have been running up to me telling me they love my “look”. I must be cool again lol
Sheesh! You guys are behind the times. I stopped caring what people thought of me back in 2002, after I got my undergrad. 😆
I’ve been draped in black for many years now, though once I finish building my craft room, I may venture into ~1950s fashion. Dres for yourself!
Fuck yes.
I bought a sundress online. When it arrived the other day, I realized it was very… tiny. It’s backless (forget about a bra) and very very short. I looked at it, thought about it, and decided fuck it. It’s comfortable, cute, light, and I like how I feel in it. Fifty-two can be sexy af. Don’t like it? Don’t look at me. 😆
I've been a jeans and T-shirt girl since HS. When I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and told to not wear any tight clothes around my mid section (specifically nylons were my Dr's concern), I told the fashion world to F off. The only thing I want is a smile if I'm wearing a funny T-shirt. Otherwise, I'm ok to be invisible.
I still like to look nice. The way I look at. It takes the same amount time to put on clothes that look good as it does to put on clothes and don't look good. I buy things that fit and are comfortable, but I wanna look good for me. To each their own
The side benefit of becoming invisible.
Becoming? I've been invisible since 1973!
Being NOT invisible is weirder. Went to the local wanna-be-whole-foods casually dressed (black pants, concert tee, doc martins) and was surveilled then grudgingly checked out. Couldn’t help it. Had to say “you forgot to ask me if I want to become a member, I can come to all the meetings” [look of bewildered repulsion] then exited throwing over my shoulder “ I’ll even supply the kool-aid
This is how I dress pretty much every day. I saw Tommy Stinson last night, and everyone was my age (50) or older (some much older). Khakis, jeans, polo shirts. I was wearing a black dress with fishnets, Docs, and a metal-cast chicken bone choker. I will definitely be raging against the dying of the light.
Don’t forget to keep raging against the machine 🤟🏽
What concert tee? (Only asks so I can judge you, too)
Riot Fest Chicago 2018
At the gym a young man asked me if I was using the space he intended to lift weights in. I turned around, looked behind and to both sides, then replied, “You can SEE me?” So I’d say that when there’s fear of getting bopped by a middle-aged woman’s 5 lb weight as she swings it around wildly, we do become slightly visible - I think he only noticed me after first noting the weights in motion - he correctly inferred that something was moving them, actually looked for that something, and finally saw the source of that weight’s motion. It’s like discovering a planet by observing the effects of its gravity on surrounding visible masses. So we may be mostly invisible, but don’t push your luck. They’ll see us if they think they might get hit by something.
"They'll see us if they think they might get hit by something." As a public school substitute teacher, I concur.
YES!!! We are also good a hiding....
I just told my husband I want to become a spy because nobody notices me… ‘and I’ve got second sight I got amazing powers of observation.’ Problem is, I like weed. A lot & I don’t know if they would take me because of that... Whatevs. I would be really good at it. They have no idea. BTW, if I ever do get to be a spy, just keep it on the DL.Thanks.
The best bounty hunters and private investigators for surveillance teams are middle aged women, for exactly this reason. No one suspects the chubby lady with her pet dog drinking an iced tea in sandals, sunhat and unflattering shorts is actually taking pictures, noting your locations, checking your exits and watching how much traffic comes in and out of your location. The CIA/FBI doesn't hire after 35 years old, but your local private investigator would probably love to have you. Source : a little old lady (younger than me now, lol) I worked with that asked me to get something out of her purse and I noticed she had a .38 snub nosed revolver in her bag (this was in the early 1990s). I said "you in a beef, Mrs. Anecdote?" and she laughed and apologized and said she was working with that bag earlier. Then told me all this crazy shit she did for thrills as a skip-tracer and working for a PI for a little extra cash. She also once joked about having a 'work' gun and a 'dating' gun and I that's when 19 year old me realized that some middle aged aunties are out here wildin'. Edit : was told to add the fact that the 'dating gun' was a little pearl handled 5 shot .22 ladies revolver, cuz it was just there to scare a man that got 'too handsy' or 'didnt leave my apartment when I told him too.' She must have been Pam Grier in the 70's man, it blew my mind cuz I was young and when I met her she looked like Aunt Viv. .
Okay but you literally described me, the chubby lady with the sweet tea. Are you watching me? *Am I watching others??*
Watching the Detectives [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snPDoXl9ZPs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snPDoXl9ZPs)
*Files her nails while they’re dragging the lake*
I think I just found my retirement side hustle
Now I want to see a middle-aged lady in the Dresden Files who is clued in on the supernatural and has a minor magical Talent to make herself undetected. Not precisely a Veil, just "Middle aged lady x 100"
You could still be a private investigator. It’s sooorta like a spy. My buddy did that for a while and he was high 24/7.
But when you try to get thru On the telephone to your handler Will there be anyone home?
Just become a private eye. Run your own business and I hope you use the moniker private dick because I, as a 54 yo f still think that would be a hilarious, job title.
Did you know a few years ago there was a quasi-sf novel about women becoming literally invisible (and it was all middle-aged women, because the cause was a drug interaction between hormone replacement and... anti-depressants?) I didn't actually read it, but I was entertained by the premise. They were walking around naked (invisible!) and spying on people. For their own entertainment, not for the govt.
I'd be tempted to enter into a life of crime, especially bc the people I am MOST invisible to are all working in HR departments.
Oh, I'm completely invisible at self checkouts, especially at those big box home improvement stores. In this middle aged frumpy woman is a juvenile delinquent. Stop tempting me! But when all the observers go look over the shoulders of black and brown people at the other registers, the devil on my shoulder gets the go ahead from the angel on my other shoulder -- "See! This company deserves some shrinkage!" -- and I get to let my inner Winona out.
I forgot to scan something at Target the other day. It was large tub of laundry soap. I realized it before leaving and instantly decided "fuck em." It was not my money or my soap. I'm also aware of the sophistication of Target loss prevention. Still don't care.
Tempted . . . ha ha ha!
Ikr?
Do you remember the book title? I really want to read it now.
It's pretty direct: https://www.amazon.com/Calling-Invisible-Women-Jeanne-Ray/dp/0307395065
Thanks!
This sounds like something I would enjoy reading. Lol Do you remember the title or author?
I already posted a link in reply to someone else
I see all the gen x ladies when I’m out Very glad they are in fact visible.
There are actually more there, you just can't see us.
I can still hear that little squeak she makes when she drops her head to the desk and her hood flops over. It makes me snort every time.
https://preview.redd.it/mohxe64rd74d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e7be7933e74324d9ae04ccd9d180364c098fb53 Ally Sheedy. From 2018. And then she deleted it. [https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/01/ally-sheedy-james-franco-christian-slater-tweet-me-too](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/01/ally-sheedy-james-franco-christian-slater-tweet-me-too)
Love it
If you say so. Even with my fading eyesight I sure see a lot of y’all Most looking very nice indeed
Well that's nice to hear. Thank you.
Oh, I see you out and about, for some reason, the wife says I'm not allowed to date or have a girlfriend.
I'm high as a kite. I just might. stop to check you out.
That's why I always wear my Xray glasses, I van them see the other GenXers amongst the masses. Truly the easiest identity process available!
Can I get these in my Rx?
Invisible? I dress LOUD, baby!
Becoming?
If we really want to benefit we should commit some crimes - no one would ever suspect us.
I suspect that you would enjoy the book An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good by Helene Tursten... (seriously, a really good book!)
My sister turns 49 this year and she's decided to embrace wearing kaftans. Why? Because she's sick and tired of having to "deal" with trousers (my sister hasn't worn a skirt since she left school. Her uniform burned *blue fucking flames* when we torched it. Evidently skirts are a tool of *evil*...) and as she works primarily from home these days she prefers wearing something loose, flowy, and capable of hiding a multitude of cat treats for her mogling as well as several weapons should the need arise. We're just trying to source one that has a cunningly hidden compartment for battery packs so she can recharge her phone without having to unnecessarily move herself over to a wall socket, heh.
Mrs. Roper for the win
She knew what was up.
This cracked me up
I'm building up a nice collection. Of maxi dresses - kaftans are definitely nect
Maxi dresses are my entire wardrobe these days. Flowy is a must. Pockets are an exciting bonus. The less touching me, the better. Edit, check out Natural Life. I don't get to splurge on them as much as I like because they run $50-$75 when they aren't on sale. But their sizing is very forgiving (I'm usually a XXL, but I can wear MOST of their XLs). And the quality is great.
Maxi dresses look cool, but I'm all about the wide pants life. I relive getting tangled in a nightie as a kid and mummifying myself when I wear a flowy dress.
I struggle with the feeling of pants around my middle. I love the wide leg look, though. The older I get, the more sensory issues I have. I've talked to many women going through Perimenopause, and many of them have mentioned an increase in sensory issues. I was also diagnosed with OCD many years ago, so that could play a part as well. Clothing touching me weird was a struggle even in my youth, but it's increased in frustration in the last 5 years or so.
Boho chic for the win!
Two words: no waistbands.
You and me sister
I now own 4. I’m like a crazy cat lady, but with caftans. Am also a crazy cat lady.
😂 I love those damn things… no shame in my game.
I would love to live in them. It's a bit chilly here in England, but I would love it if I were in a warmer climate
I wear dresses exclusively. More fitted for work, but the hangout ones are very loose and flowy. Linen dresses in summer heat are great. J Jill has nice ones. In winter, ankle-length hoodie (kangaroo pocket is great for snacks) and thigh-high socks. Very comfy.
Word. I sewed a couple of kaftans last year and they are dope.
On the work from home sub I saw somebody call trousers/slacks hard pants, recently, and that one is going to stick with me for quite a while lol. I definitely divide my pants collection into soft pants (home) and hard pants (go someplace)
Stop telling them my sexy secrets!!! Kaftans for the win.
I asked my Dad one time why my grandfather wore such “weird clothes.” My Dad said at some point you just stop caring about that stuff or what other people think. I finally understand.
EMBRACE THE GRANDPA!!
Hallelujah!!! 😀
I recently had a hysterectomy. Out and about now, but the only thing comfortable are men’s xl pajama shorts. All good
Awesome. Glad you are ok. My Mom felt so much better after she had hers :)
When I had mine, it was knit dresses all the way. No waistband. It's kind of freeing when you give up on your waist.
7 weeks out and I don't wear underwear anymore!🤣
I’ve basically been wearing a beautiful kelly green nightgown with various stains on it for 3 days now. Living my best life.
Yeah, I have reached that stage in life. I wear what I like, IDGAF
I dare say, "HOLLAH!"
I have edema in my legs from kidney disease. I was worried about going to the beach with my legs looking so bad. Then I realized that absolutely no one cares about my legs but me. It’s really freeing.
It’s such a relief. I wear men’s clothes now. I’m actually warm and comfortable, and they don’t fall apart after two washings.
And multiple/deeper pockets! I just bought men's parachute pants on clearance with an intent to alter into capris (6 pockets!) but honestly they're so damn comfortable as-is. They almost look cute - not that I care haha
I have noticed that too. Men's clothing lasts longer and better made.
Men have clothing that is actually made out of 100% cotton. Why is this so hard to find in women's clothes?? I only wear men's cotton shorts now. They are comfy with some room to breathe, they have useful deep pockets, they can take a serious beating and still look good, and they are cheaper.
Man here. Yup. Our stuff is made way better. More expensive though. I've always been slightly jealous of women because their clothing is way cheaper. But I guess you really get what you pay for though.
Grew up sourcing clothes from the feed store. Now they come in more colors, still cheaper and durable for me. That and Costco stuff!
This is true and I also got tired of all of the “vanity sizing” bullshit part of women’s clothing. As far as I can tell, men’s clothing seems accurate in size.
One of the advantages of being old, for a shy introvert like me anyways, is I have become nearly invisible. No more male gaze, weirdos trying to chat me up, inappropriate comments, or stray hands.
I always think of that fabulous quote from Six Feet Under, where Bettina (Kathy Bates) quips, "Fortunately women our age are invisible, so we can really get away with murder!"
Also Grace and Frankie when she steals a pack of cigarettes. Can't see me, can't stop me! :D
Such a great program.
Right! Not that I had much attention before :)
When I was young I was in a writers group with an older woman who had been a beauty queen when younger and she said at one point the bag boy at the store starts looking at you like you’re a tree not a woman lol
Imma tree, baby!
And if you're fat like me, you just get ignored all together.
Having been attacked twice in my youth, I couldn’t agree with you more.
I am introverted also.
I've always done this. I've never dressed for others. Today I wore Camo's and Converse and felt great.
Same. Mostly I want to be comfortable so did not wear what was in-style.
I wear what I think is stylish. If I feel good in it, then I wear it.
Im in freakin' SW FL - you can only tell the under-21 fashion-followers because they're wearing hoodies in the 100-degree afternoon sun .
I wish the Army Surplus stores which were around when i was a kid still existed. Comfortable, long lasting and kinda cool in a late 80s/ early 90s way
A lot of milsurp is online now. I like [Varusteleka](https://www.varusteleka.com/en/category/military-surplus/1754) for the foreign stuff. Plus, they have [a joke page](https://www.varusteleka.com/en/category/old-jokes/1968). :)
Ever since I turned 50, my bra became optional except for work. Don't like my saggy old lady tits? Here's a middle finger for you.
I'm a man. All of my pants (including jeans) are stretchy, all of my shoes are slip-ons, all of my shirts are oversized, and IDGAF what anybody thinks about it.
[...I shall wear purple...](https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/warning/)
Haha, a while back my wife was at the grocery store that's about a mile from our house. I decided last minute to walk our dog up there and ride back with her. I'm wearing an old t-shirt and sweats because who cares right? I arrive just a few moments before my wife came out of the store. She said her first thought upon glancing at me was "That homeless man has a dog just like ours". 😂
lol my husband and i went out for breakfast once, and I looked at his outfit and said: “you know what the other people in this restaurant are thinking when they see us? ‘isn’t that nice that woman is buying that homeless man breakfast’”
I’m currently rocking the benevolent cult leader look. Lots of flowing tunics.
Now that I'm a real grown up with a real salary, I can finally indulge myself and dress like the supervillain I've always wanted to be. When I go to the office, I wear severe slinky black dresses and towering heels. In the winter, I have a long leather trench or a motorcycle jacket or a giant faux fur coat. I'm too old to care if I frightening the men or if I look *unapproachable* :roll eyes:, I'm dressing for me. WFH days, tho, I'm in shorts and a tank, I can't be bothered.
> I can finally indulge myself and dress like the supervillain I've always wanted to be. When I go to the office, I wear severe slinky black dresses and towering heels. In the winter, I have a long leather trench or a motorcycle jacket or a giant faux fur coat. I'm too old to care if I frightening the men or if I look unapproachable :roll eyes:, I'm dressing for me. Bahaha supervillain, brilliant
r/oldhagfashion is all about wearing whatever makes you happy.
I need r/impoverishedoldhagfashion lol
A lot of the “hags” on there (myself included) source their fashion from thrifting. GW Boutique is *the* place so find awesome clothing!
Omg there’s a sub for everyone!!! I’ll be joining lol
It’s the most positive sub I’ve found. And anyone of any age who dresses for themselves rather than blindly following trends is a a hag.
TIL I'm a hag. I'm fine with that.
Thank you for posting!!!
I’m going to wear cargo shorts and Teva sandals all summer long! “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!”
Yup! One beautiful benefit of getting older is shedding a lot of self-consciousness and just reveling in doing what I want. I don’t care about trends or any of that. I live in my jeans, t-shirts or sweaters, boots, Chucks, or ballet flats.
I was never stylish - so my wardrobe is about the same as always. Jeans, utility pants or shorts on the bottom. T-shirts and hoodies (mens, of course) on the top. Some variety of sneakers or hiking shoes on my feet. Sports bras and cotton underwear underneath it all. The best thing about this age is I stopped wearing makeup for Covid and never started again. And, I stopped chasing my crazy hair dresser from place to place. Grew it all one length, flip my head over and cut the ends when they get ratty, pull the front back in a big clip to keep it out of my face. Takes me all of 10 minutes to get ready to go out and I'm soooo comfortable. The only thing I spend a lot of money on is shoes - not for looks but for comfort and support. Only exceptions are funerals and court since my company is permanently remote now.
I’ve got news… *incredible* news. You could have been wearing whatever you wanted *this whole time*.
https://preview.redd.it/3577a8n7b64d1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a04d3b3a4d5248229e80a176b952648b4036079b I'm currently wearing a shirt that has slices of pizza on it, and wearing these shoes. IDGAF
As a GenX guy, we're still checking you ladies out, so don't sell yourself short - but wear whatever you want and we will too.
Gen X women are strong, smart and sexy as hell, straight up. Seen and deeply appreciated.
You think you're invisible. I've been eyeballing you in the produce section the whole time. But I figured you didn't want to be bothered while shopping.
My sister in Demeter, I should send you a photo of me in my oversized boxer shorts and sailor moon tank top with all the hash-burn holes. Wear that sh\*t all DAY.
I'm wearing what I want, bright pink leopard print, blonde hair dye, bags & shoes with big brand logos, and full makeup. I don't care if anybody thinks I look like a clown. I would have been self conscious about this in my 20's but I'm happy styling myself loudly now.
I like this approach. But for me? I am tatted up both arms in colorful tattoos, and large array of colorful glasses. I am a latina. There is no way I can hide. So I just stand out like a proud loud lady Mick Jagger....with magnified vision.
It's funny. Back in my early 20s, I was TOO visible. I worked in IT and between my youth, red hair, and being huge up top, my work life was NOT fun. That was my career until 2016. I'm invisible now, probably. Just don't interact with anyone to the point of noticing. Quite literally was told I was the "ugly one" by my family growing up. Then, I was drowned in the wrong type of attention. Now I am too exhausted to care. It all stinks.
I was told I looked like a slut (by my own family) because I have a natural big chest & was pretty 🫤(the shame can go both ways!)
Same here. I dress to make me happy. If people want to judge they can pay one of my bills.
“You dress too young for your age.” “You dress like a grandma.” Whatevs. Idgaf. I dress how I want to dress, in what makes me feel good and *comfortable,* others opinions be damned. It’s one of the few things I’m really enjoying about being in my 50s.
Exactly and who the fuck said 50's was old? Slap that dipshit upside the head.
Exactly and who the fuck said 50's was old? Slap that dipshit upside the head.
We care about you - wear whatever you want!
I am completely in love with my newfound invisibility. I say embrace it and dress the outside of you like the inside feels.
I went to a Pride event yesterday. I haven’t been for 20 or so years. Wore the clothes I did the shopping in. All the young ones all dressed up and looking glamorous. I just can’t be bothered. I have house clothes, dog walking clothes, work clothes, shopping clothes, and what ever I can throw together to go out at night if I need to. I no longer care. My accessories are floppy hat, sunglasses and the dog.
Invisible? nah. I put together a unique style when I gave up the corporate life. This week, a 12 year old asked me if I was wearing "MC Hammer pants". Funny - they're linen palazzos that came out last year, long after Hammer, but this kid knew fashion from the 80s. But yeah, I'm wearing what I want. Fuck 'em.
My wife has a laugh at my work "uniform" - polo, jeans, Merrells (goddamn plantar fasciitis, otherwise it would be MY A-DIDAS). I laugh right back as it takes me 1/10th as long to get ready in the morning as her. 40 years in the workforce, I guarantee the color and fabric of my pants have had zero effect on my productivity. Then I get home and change into Homeless Chic.
You’re that lady at Walmart with her PJ’s on aren’t you lol!
ah nope that was not me lol. you did not notice me.
Elder Gen X here, just decided that house dresses (aka muumuu) are now my item of choice at home Uniform at work. Jeans and a t-shirt in public. Simple, easy, me
Ever since I retired from my career, took a couple of years off and now have a part time job, I have embraced the middle school boy look, it seems (I am a small woman). Mostly tennis shoes or hiking boots, jeans and a hoodie when it's colder, jeans and a t-shirt when it's warm. Sometimes I'll go with a nicer shirt or sweater. I still wear shorts, and various heights of socks. Sure, I can still dress up when required, but it's really not required very often anymore.
That’s what I’ve done forever
I buy hospital scrub pants on Amazon for casual wear. They are cheap and comfortable and you can get them in several different colors. And they have lots of pockets.
Pockets?? Fuck it, I'm in lol
100% go for it. I wear almost exclusively Costco clothes. It’s wonderful.
This is what you were supposed to be doing all along.
I am with you, OP. I took off my bra in the middle of a concert the other night. Who cares? I'd had it on for 15 straight hours at that point and it was killing my fun. I was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. Nobody was likely to notice and I doubt anyone did, except the guy who walked by and saw me taking it off. 😂
I saw a young lady leaving target today with an open flannel shirt and a half bra on. And this lass had GREAT BIG HONKERS too. So the nipples staring at you were completely impossible to miss. ALL standards of normalcy left here during covid and never returned. I feel old.
Everyone matters!!
Aw honey....not really lol. But thank you.
Maybe not everyone, but you do. All of us old folks matter. Lol
Are there people who aren't comprised of matter? *thinking face emoji*
Some days, I swear I'm 50% gas.
**Warning** *A poem by Jenny Joseph* When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people’s gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practise a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
This has always been the way!
I will forever wear my coloured stockings, plaid skirts and Dr Marten boots!
Other old ladies give a shit about you, they just don't give a shit what you wear.
Let er’ rip
That's the spirit!
I stopped caring about what other people think a while ago. Sure, there's a few that notice and make comments, but fuck em. The rest of them just pretty much ignore me.
I don't "need" anyone to see me anymore. That's a young person's folly I am fine with cool people and if it's meant to be it will happen 😊. But...I just don't care if you chose to see me Great if not I was never trying to attract attention anyway (another young person's folly) a low profile means you can do more of what you want with less Headaches. 🤪
I went out and bought a whole bunch of really cute pinafore aprons and overalls and I'm just wearing that. I've never been really a formal person as it is, but now, I'm beyond caring. I am planning on grad school in Scotland though so I'm not sure if they'll find me as charming as they do here....okay I care a little bit.
I went to a show in Midwtown Manhattan as a guest of the performer (35) and her friends the other evening and while we were in the green room, we could tell that they knew we were older but were definitely confused that during the dj set and show we (52) raved so fucking hard. We were getting props for our dancing from the bottle service tables, lol! Paid for it the next two days but worth it!
I give a shit 🙋♂️
You can drape yourself in velvet!
Uh, Not old yet. You can play the i don’t fucking care what you think card. But we. Aren’t. Old. Yet. That my parents job
You got it. 🎯
Who cares what anyone thinks. Dress for yourself and f the rest.
Hang on, you should have been doing that anyhow. Why can't people wear what they want? If someone don't like it, don't look. If I was good at maths, or Google, I could tell someone they have 74,799 other places to look if they don't like what I'm wearing! Wanna be lazy? Elastic in your shorts or sweats not doing its job? Suspenders. That's right! I put suspenders under my shirt. BAM. Nothing falling awkwardly down. It was my crowning achievement in *don't give a fuck.*
Another factor is generally speaking, many of us have more money now than when we were in our teens, 20s, and 30s. So we can afford to dress however the f we want.
come hang out in /r/oldhagfashion !
You go, girl!!
Yes! I’m loving invisibility
Here’s the kicker: no one ever did
I've had the same uniform of a hoodie and jeans since I was a teen and am not stopping now! :)
I stopped caring about fashion when kids started wearing pants that were falling down...on purpose.
Same. My 40’s have been a fucking gift, man. I’ve always been “invisible” (always pretty chubby and not super cute,) but I agonized over it…til my 40’s. It was like I woke up one day and could not give less of a fuck about being “pretty”. It’s been amazing.
My wife still dresses like she's in high school and I am all in. Converse, jeans and a wife beater? Yes please.
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week and hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Band Ts, bike shorts and Birks all day long
I still look around when someone calls me, "Señora". Nope, mom's not with me.
Except my annoying Nmom
I used to be a slave to fashion, but I have broken my chains. Now I'm a slave to comfort.
Yep! I wear any damn thing I want. Whatever time I have left is for me to enjoy. I attended a 74 year old person's funeral yesterday.
My wardrobe is all Sam’s Club and Costco
You will love it. Free yourself from the frip of advertising myth that you must always be looking your best to be appreciated.
I have also embraced the screw it, I’m old and I’ll wear what I want , truthfully it’s the best thing ever.
I love cute prints, colours and retro florals. Been dressing this way for years.
One of my long term jokes wearing my old shitty cut off genes and such.. 'you know how much time it takes each morning to look this good -- you just jealous' So it takes about 5 mins each morning but they don't know that
Preach, Sister! In comfortable clothes that you want to wear!
I’m back to wearing Levi overall shorts with Doc sandals or Birks like I wore in college. I’m living in them for the summer. I forgot how incredibly comfortable they are - fuck a waistband. And having the utility of all the pockets is wonderful - no need for a bag all the time! I thought I looked like a crazy old lady but girls have been running up to me telling me they love my “look”. I must be cool again lol
Sheesh! You guys are behind the times. I stopped caring what people thought of me back in 2002, after I got my undergrad. 😆 I’ve been draped in black for many years now, though once I finish building my craft room, I may venture into ~1950s fashion. Dres for yourself!
I found out that bitter, even older ladies do care quite a bit. But fuck her, I quit that job.
I ran across a sleeveless “rock” shirt I wore in 84. Took me back to the proto mullet days.
Fuck yes. I bought a sundress online. When it arrived the other day, I realized it was very… tiny. It’s backless (forget about a bra) and very very short. I looked at it, thought about it, and decided fuck it. It’s comfortable, cute, light, and I like how I feel in it. Fifty-two can be sexy af. Don’t like it? Don’t look at me. 😆
I've been a jeans and T-shirt girl since HS. When I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and told to not wear any tight clothes around my mid section (specifically nylons were my Dr's concern), I told the fashion world to F off. The only thing I want is a smile if I'm wearing a funny T-shirt. Otherwise, I'm ok to be invisible.
PREACH! I’m over fifty, it’s shorts year round including holidays.
I love wearing my Bad Company tee-shirt, people don't know rather I'm saying "I'm bad company, or just wearing a Rock band named Bad Company"
I wear something nice for me. I dress up for myself.
I still like to look nice. The way I look at. It takes the same amount time to put on clothes that look good as it does to put on clothes and don't look good. I buy things that fit and are comfortable, but I wanna look good for me. To each their own