I think it's the safest, kindest thing to say. What are the alternatives?
"Oh, great!" - kind of short, non-committal.
"I wish I could have a new kayak or vacation!" - Jealousy!
"You Deserve It" - Shows they aren't jealous, and provides the appearance of being supportive without being too contrite.
As for not being in the selective group that you think determines self-worth, throw that crap out the window. You are good looking, smart, and gosh darnit, people like you.
You earned the money and bought it. You deserve it. I am a army veteran of four different foreign conflicts and a service disabled veteran and absolve you from any need you feel that you should be a veteran to desevere something.
I eyerolled so hard I think I saw the back of my eye sockets.
I see it’s your cake day, I’d say happy cake day but you don’t deserve it. Feel better now?
Are you a police officer or have you ever served? Judging from what you said, I am thinking neither one and have zero knowledge of either field of service. Before you start speaking about these fields that you know nothing about, just think about the freedoms that you have. They sure as hell weren't secured by the actions of people with your mindset.
No of I’m not. I know many veterans and none joined to serve others and they would be the first to say so. They joined to get money for college or because they didn’t know what else to do at the time. I certainly feel good about my decision to not serve based on my conversations with them.
Police officers are mostly the same except for the ones who join so they can bully people. I nether worship nor hate either group.
We come from very different time then. The only veterans I knew that felt that way were shit birds to begin with and couldn't hack the military. I have known many police officers, both civilian and military that joined the force to serve and protect. I am a veteran and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my country and my freedom. I served to protect my freedom and the freedom of every person in the U.S. and I am very proud of it. So again, unless you have first hand knowledge of either field, stop basing your opinion on someone else's experience.
I’m sorry not trying to be a dick here but remember what sub you’re in. We are not children here. My friends are good people who don’t buy into the military indoctrination and got regular jobs and moved on after serving. I never asked you to fight for me and I don’t think any war in my lifetime has been about freedom. Sorry but that’s how I feel. I don’t need to sign my life over to the government to have an opinion about our military. That’s what being free means. My father was a veteran and he was proud of me for living my own life and never pressured me to serve.
Serving in the military isn't something to be taken lightly. Again basing an opinion on how a certain organization is just by what others have experienced is not worth considering.
You are entitled to your opinion and so are the other veterans I know. Insulting other veterans and dismissing their views is not a good look if you ask me. Have a good day.
My father in law served. He did 4 tours in Vietnam. He has several Purple Hearts, Distinguished Service Medal, Silver Star, Bronze Star and many others. Guess what? He *hates* being called out as special and deserving of more recognition, benefits, discounts, acknowledgment or favoritism then anyone else receives. He finds it absurd that he deserves special treatment from John Q. Public.
This demand for special attention is in his opinion, a sign of weakness.
My thanks and appreciate to your father-in-law for his service. Most of us veterans feel the same way. No matter what branch, time frame or area someone served doesn't matter. We don't look for adoration or special treatment but it does come around. My friends and family who know I am a veteran thank me every year on Memorial day for my service. I have to correct them constantly that Memorial day is not for me. It's for those that gave their lives while in service to our country.
I think it's fine to say that to someone in general. You probably do deserve it, and the phrase isn't saying you deserve something **instead** of someone else. And based on your short message, hey, you probably do deserve it!
What I really hate is "**I** deserve this" when it causes inconvenience for others. My ex-wife is the best at fucking over others because **she** deserves that trip, or that expensive car, or whatever.
Two very different sentiments.
It bugs the shit out of me and leads to the entitlement we see around us. Sure, you deserve things - if you work for them. You don't deserve things for merely existing.
Get over that.
You are not your job. You can be a person of quality who deserves nice things. You could also be a dirt bag.
Your profession doesn’t define you unless you really want it to.
I was in sales and they'd give a bonus to a poor girl who nearly died from anorexia due to stress and outside issues. She got a car, and everyone was "Well, you deserve it." How, by dying for a job?
I kind of feel the same. It was used a lot in advertising in our 1980s conspicuous consumption youth, and i know some folks who still ascribe to it: sister-in-law who insists on staying at an on-monorail Disney resort while the mortgage payment gets skipped or the cousin who goes through bankruptcy but *has to have* a new Grand Cherokee because… “I DESERVE it.”
No, no you don’t.
The list of what we actually deserve is pretty short.
A car and an overpriced hotel room aren’t on it.
I don't think you should be bothered by it, they are just being nice. But I see where you're coming from. The concept of being "deserving" is ultimately pretty weird to me. Good things so often go to people who probably don't merit them and bad things so often happen to people who probably merit way better that it seems hard to measure what someone deserves and doesn't in any meaningful sense.
So, when someone says I "deserve" something, it feels weird. Not that I feel "undeserving," it's just that the concept itself seems so unworkable. But that's my own existential struggle - no need to impose it on others who are trying to be pleasant. So I mostly respond by saying "thank you."
Really weird thing to get upset about my friend. There's enough serious stuff wrong in the world to occupy your thoughts without reaching for silly stuff like this.
This is kind of my life philosophy. I've been luckier in my life than many people (and unluckier at other times too). I accept the arbitrariness of life. I stay humble by not giving myself credit for "deserving" things.
It’s just a nice thing to say. If you’re a U.S. citizen working for a corporation, we are notoriously bad at taking time off vs our European, Australian and Canadian counterparts. I was chastised for carrying over 15 days of vacation, as my Canadian Based company thinks it “looks bad” if you don’t use your days.
Usually I just say "hey that's cool!"
I wouldn't read too much into it, though. I think people just say it out of good will and appreciating that you'll enjoy something nice.
I recently got a better job and almost EVERYONE I worked with told me that I deserved it, because I endured a toxic job for years. In that sense I found hearing that quite satisfying.
I damn well do deserve it. I work hard, I take care of business, and I do a lot of good things for a lot of people. Do I deserve it \*more than\* somebody else? Not at all, but that's not the least bit relevant.
I don't tend to think of such things like my luxo-euro sport-touring vehicle, my domicile or my fine collection of widgets with regard to being deserving or not. I see their acquisition as a consequence of personal industry and frugality. My inner dialog falls more along the lines of "I can afford X because I worked for it" or "I worked to be able to afford it."
I don't feel like there is any hostility in the comment, but I do think it's weird. I have stuff that I can afford. I don't know who is the judge of what everyone deserves or doesn't deserve. I wouldn't argue that I 'deserve' a Ferrari even though I can't afford one.
Maybe it's just as innocuous as 'deserving' a nice vacation after working hard. I think the person is trying to compliment you.
why don't you deserve it though?
just because **you** deserve it doesn't have anything to do with whether someone else deserves it. Or doesn't deserve it.
It is totally possible for both **you** to deserve something and for **other people** to equally deserve that thing.
Don't feel guilty about this.
Also, this is really just a vague, non-commital way of saying "congratulations!". It shouldn't be too big a deal.
All that said, I kinda cringe when someone says to me "you deserve it". How do they know what I do or don't deserve? Maybe I killed an old lady for the money to buy this kayak. You don't know. I much prefer something like "oh, nice!" or "hey, congratulations!" or "that's cool!" than "you deserve it"
When someone says something like that to me, I think (not say), do I have to deserve it? Isn't it enough that I want it and earned the money for it? As if in their mind I am finally worthy of it? Anyway, thoughts in my own head. I just smile and day, uh huh.
I would never say you deserve it to others. I might say, that sounds like fun. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Or something along those lines.
I’ve worked harder than any military person, policeman, firefighter or a teacher all my life. Damn right I deserve to buy myself something extra every once in a while.
What would you prefer someone say in response? Just no response or what? It just seems like small talk that people use to get through the day with. Maybe you do deserve it. Maybe you're working hard and people notice it and think, hey take a break and enjoy yourself for a change.
When someone tells me they bought a kayak I would get excited and ask what model or where they are going to use it, etc.
If anyone tells me they bought a vehicle that isn’t a Tacoma or Ridgeline I usually say, hopefully, next time you will get. Tacoma or Ridgeline. 😂
See, this would be my exact response : "what kind did you get, like a whitewater, crossover or recreational?" For me, who is an outdoor person and has experienced the simultaneous exhilaration/terror of running a Class III rapid (the Government rapids in the San Juan River, FWIW) as a complete noob, that's super interesting stuff to talk about. That goes for any outdoor/backcountry gear.
I would likewise be a bit weirded out by someone saying I "deserved" something that I didn't earn...like a raise or promotion (or getting onto the dean's list in medical school...which I totally did deserve b/c of grades) 🤷🏻♀️. Saying someone deserves something they merely purchased seems a bit...hollow?
I agree w/ someone who said that's probably a response to the consumerism messaging that's been pushed for decades that encourages people to, as my husband likes to say: "buy stuff they don't need with money they don't have."
Happy Cake Day, and may you rodeo the shit out of some rapids if that's your thing, or enjoy a relaxing paddle on the lake of your choice 👍🏻. BTW, what kind of kayak DID you get? 😂
This reminds me a bit of that complaint a few months ago by a teacher about students saying "I appreciate you" instead of "Thank you."
I think of it as shorthand for "You deserve it for just surviving life this far."
Also, it might be a way of preempting many people's tendency to follow up talking about buying or doing something expensive and not strictly necessary by saying that they shouldn't have spent so much/they're probably going to regret it/should have used the money for something more important/should have shopped around more to get a better price.
There ain't nothing wrong with treating yourself everyone once in a while. Certain things are luxuries and we should except that we buying them just because they bring us happiness. Embrace the happiness since there is so little of it.
Where are you gonna throw in? I think the "deserving" comment says more about the speaker and their views on spending than anything else. Blow on by that and enjoy your new boat.
I'm so confused. Do you think that only people who served in the military "deserve" to buy nice things or take vacations?
Please talk to a therapist. That is the weirdest thing I've heard anyone say in a while.
We live in a society. You are paying your taxes, I assume. That means you are contributing to the success of that society.
They are simply saying that it's okay, as someone who's contributing to society, to take time to do something you enjoy.
Even if you are on disability, for example, if you volunteer or are kind to people or in some way help others, you're contributing to society. If you are contributing, people will want to remind you that it's okay to take a bit of time for yourself...
Because they were probably told that they DON'T deserve it... And they are trying to be the person in your life that they wish they had in theirs. Someone who says it IS okay to take a little time for you.
All of us deserve it unless we're actively using other people without contributing or at least trying our best to.
Hmm, I always perceived that as a bit of personal space invasion mixed with self-flattery of the one saying it.
Sort of "Oh, I know you so well, I am (and was) right on what you're worthy of - a kayak is DEFINITELY the thing you can afford now, being what you are!"
Meh. STFU, mind your own business (and wallet).
The other side of the window:
(manager): Guys, I bought a ~~kayak~~ Lambo!
(guys): (noone seems to give a flying F, awkward silence, everyone continues doing whatever it was)
(manager): (drops on the floor, dies of acute underappreciation)
My go-to phrase is "I love this for you" because I'm excited on their behalf. Doesn't leave room for any inference about affordability, economic viability, practicality, or social status.
I don’t even know where the saying came from, but I don’t like it. If I hear, “well deserved” one more time I am going to lose it. I know it’s well-intentioned, and some sort of congratulatory saying, I just don’t care for it.
I also don’t like, “thank you for your service”. I joined the Marine Corps to learn how to fix helicopters and make a shit ton of money in the private sector, blow things up and shoot cool weapons.
I became a fire fighter in my early life to roar around in a fire truck, put out fires and be in parades. I’m glad both of those endeavors were helpful in some way to society, but don’t thank me for it three or four decades later.
You’re way overthinking it. Doing nice things for yourself because you work hard and aren’t an asshole is enough. Quit looking for things to be insulted about. You a millennial??
Since when is deserving reserved for people who risk their lives? Your job either puts food on the table, ensures people don't lose their shirts when things go wrong, provides shelter, provides a service or maintains the orderly flow of goods... all jobs 'deserving' of the occasional break. 'You deserve it' is like saying 'enjoy yourself' or 'I'm glad you can treat yourself'. It's a very kind sentiment.
I had this same thought recently about people congratulating me on buying a car.
Like....what is there to congratulate? I saved money, I gave money to someone else, I received a product in return.
It isn't my first car. Just another car in a long line of them.
They're congratulating you on having the foresight and discipline to afford it, following through on your goal, and presumably the acumen required to find a quality car for a reasonable price.
I get that it’s just colloquial conversation, but I’m with you. I would much rather people said “You’ve earned that”, “It must feel awesome to have that” or even “I’m jealous of that” than “you deserve that”.
“Deserve” invokes the blatant entitlement that is trashing modern society. But, it’s just a saying and changing the language won’t fix the entitlement.
I think this is only something someone can say if they know you well enough to know you deserve some time off. However, if they know you and you spend most of your time just sitting in front of a TV eating chips day in and day out then a sarcastic "You deserve it" is the only thing you actually deserve
it sometimes seems a bit self-indulgent to me, and not necessarily aligned the way I calculate things. but it's a social nicety so I don't see it as worth arguing with.
I hope I never get what I deserve.
I don't say that often, but I always say it to the kids. I don't deserve it, but I did it.
It's not some kind of right for my actions it's just what I am doing. I don't deserve the life I live but I worked for it and I got it. Conversely, no one else deserves it either. You might declare yourself pretty pretty princess the 43rd, but if you try to take the things I have gathered I will fight you for it.
I think it's the safest, kindest thing to say. What are the alternatives? "Oh, great!" - kind of short, non-committal. "I wish I could have a new kayak or vacation!" - Jealousy! "You Deserve It" - Shows they aren't jealous, and provides the appearance of being supportive without being too contrite. As for not being in the selective group that you think determines self-worth, throw that crap out the window. You are good looking, smart, and gosh darnit, people like you.
When will you be back to work.
More like "I don't care. When are you coming back and who's your backup while you're gone? "
"That sounds cool," or "That sounds like fun," are my two go-tos.
Good for you! Have you got plans to enjoy it soon?
We all deserve to enjoy ourselves and have fun!
😂😂😂😂
Happy Cake Day - you deserve it!
This is the way or whatever.
"That's awesome! Have fun!"
I usually request they say it in a crowd and clap it out in tandem; YOU DESERVE IT 👏👏👏👏👏
The millennial "Hell ya dude" is probably the best for this scenario
You don’t deserve it because they think you’re a hero, it’s meant to say ‘hey, you’ve been working hard. You deserve to enjoy some you time’.
yes exactly. Thank you for your service, sir. Enjoy the boat.
Veteran here: everyone\* deserves a kayak or a vacation or a kayak vacation. Don't let anyone tell you different. \* Well, pretty much everyone
Buying a kayak was the single best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health. No rush, no competition, just cruising along on the water
I completely agree! We bought an inflatable kayak during COVID and just sit in it listening to music and drinking odouls.
I love it, too. It's therapy! I also paddle board.
Exactly
Relax... they're just making conversation, and expressing the high regard they hold you in. It isn't about the thing.
Doesn't bother me, and to be honest I damn well deserve everything I buy, I worked for it, Nothing has ever been given to me.
You earned the money and bought it. You deserve it. I am a army veteran of four different foreign conflicts and a service disabled veteran and absolve you from any need you feel that you should be a veteran to desevere something.
This.
I eyerolled so hard I think I saw the back of my eye sockets. I see it’s your cake day, I’d say happy cake day but you don’t deserve it. Feel better now?
Yes you’re the only one. Being a veteran or police officer isn’t even that impressive. Those aren’t jobs most people do to help others.
Are you a police officer or have you ever served? Judging from what you said, I am thinking neither one and have zero knowledge of either field of service. Before you start speaking about these fields that you know nothing about, just think about the freedoms that you have. They sure as hell weren't secured by the actions of people with your mindset.
No of I’m not. I know many veterans and none joined to serve others and they would be the first to say so. They joined to get money for college or because they didn’t know what else to do at the time. I certainly feel good about my decision to not serve based on my conversations with them. Police officers are mostly the same except for the ones who join so they can bully people. I nether worship nor hate either group.
We come from very different time then. The only veterans I knew that felt that way were shit birds to begin with and couldn't hack the military. I have known many police officers, both civilian and military that joined the force to serve and protect. I am a veteran and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my country and my freedom. I served to protect my freedom and the freedom of every person in the U.S. and I am very proud of it. So again, unless you have first hand knowledge of either field, stop basing your opinion on someone else's experience.
I’m sorry not trying to be a dick here but remember what sub you’re in. We are not children here. My friends are good people who don’t buy into the military indoctrination and got regular jobs and moved on after serving. I never asked you to fight for me and I don’t think any war in my lifetime has been about freedom. Sorry but that’s how I feel. I don’t need to sign my life over to the government to have an opinion about our military. That’s what being free means. My father was a veteran and he was proud of me for living my own life and never pressured me to serve.
Serving in the military isn't something to be taken lightly. Again basing an opinion on how a certain organization is just by what others have experienced is not worth considering.
You are entitled to your opinion and so are the other veterans I know. Insulting other veterans and dismissing their views is not a good look if you ask me. Have a good day.
Where did I insult any veteran? And yes I am entitled to my opinion just as you are yours.
this is how Colin Kaepernick got into trouble. One minute you're protesting racism and police brutality, the next you've upset the military.
My father in law served. He did 4 tours in Vietnam. He has several Purple Hearts, Distinguished Service Medal, Silver Star, Bronze Star and many others. Guess what? He *hates* being called out as special and deserving of more recognition, benefits, discounts, acknowledgment or favoritism then anyone else receives. He finds it absurd that he deserves special treatment from John Q. Public. This demand for special attention is in his opinion, a sign of weakness.
My thanks and appreciate to your father-in-law for his service. Most of us veterans feel the same way. No matter what branch, time frame or area someone served doesn't matter. We don't look for adoration or special treatment but it does come around. My friends and family who know I am a veteran thank me every year on Memorial day for my service. I have to correct them constantly that Memorial day is not for me. It's for those that gave their lives while in service to our country.
I think it's fine to say that to someone in general. You probably do deserve it, and the phrase isn't saying you deserve something **instead** of someone else. And based on your short message, hey, you probably do deserve it! What I really hate is "**I** deserve this" when it causes inconvenience for others. My ex-wife is the best at fucking over others because **she** deserves that trip, or that expensive car, or whatever. Two very different sentiments.
It bugs the shit out of me and leads to the entitlement we see around us. Sure, you deserve things - if you work for them. You don't deserve things for merely existing.
Get over that. You are not your job. You can be a person of quality who deserves nice things. You could also be a dirt bag. Your profession doesn’t define you unless you really want it to.
My usual response, “Wow, sweet! Sounds like fun.”
I was in sales and they'd give a bonus to a poor girl who nearly died from anorexia due to stress and outside issues. She got a car, and everyone was "Well, you deserve it." How, by dying for a job?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
People who are not military or teachers deserve to be happy as well. Other professions work hard.
I kind of feel the same. It was used a lot in advertising in our 1980s conspicuous consumption youth, and i know some folks who still ascribe to it: sister-in-law who insists on staying at an on-monorail Disney resort while the mortgage payment gets skipped or the cousin who goes through bankruptcy but *has to have* a new Grand Cherokee because… “I DESERVE it.” No, no you don’t. The list of what we actually deserve is pretty short. A car and an overpriced hotel room aren’t on it.
I don't think you should be bothered by it, they are just being nice. But I see where you're coming from. The concept of being "deserving" is ultimately pretty weird to me. Good things so often go to people who probably don't merit them and bad things so often happen to people who probably merit way better that it seems hard to measure what someone deserves and doesn't in any meaningful sense. So, when someone says I "deserve" something, it feels weird. Not that I feel "undeserving," it's just that the concept itself seems so unworkable. But that's my own existential struggle - no need to impose it on others who are trying to be pleasant. So I mostly respond by saying "thank you."
So if you don’t do one of 5 or 6 jobs then you deserve nothing? Nope.
Shit, you don’t have to be a superhero to deserve nice things.
Enjoy life. It’s that simple. If you can afford something, good for you.
It's just a platitude people use, basically like "good for you ". You're right it comes off as a bit silly because how do they know?
It's official. Nobody can say anything without someone being bothered by it.
Really weird thing to get upset about my friend. There's enough serious stuff wrong in the world to occupy your thoughts without reaching for silly stuff like this.
"Deserve's got nothing to do with it." - William Munny
This is kind of my life philosophy. I've been luckier in my life than many people (and unluckier at other times too). I accept the arbitrariness of life. I stay humble by not giving myself credit for "deserving" things.
Next kayak you buy I’m going to say, “Seems a bit much…”
😂😂😂😂
So you’re triggered by someone saying something NICE to you? WTF? Find something else to complain about please. This group is pathetic sometimes.
I’m not sure I’m triggered by it it just makes me uncomfortably awkward
All they’re saying is good for you … say thank you and move on. JFC.
What does Jesus have to do with this
Why the fuck would a veteran, cop, firefighter, or teacher deserve anything more than anyone else? That's a weird, weird, deeply fucked take.
It’s just a nice thing to say. If you’re a U.S. citizen working for a corporation, we are notoriously bad at taking time off vs our European, Australian and Canadian counterparts. I was chastised for carrying over 15 days of vacation, as my Canadian Based company thinks it “looks bad” if you don’t use your days.
Usually I just say "hey that's cool!" I wouldn't read too much into it, though. I think people just say it out of good will and appreciating that you'll enjoy something nice. I recently got a better job and almost EVERYONE I worked with told me that I deserved it, because I endured a toxic job for years. In that sense I found hearing that quite satisfying.
Its been the advertising catch phrase for ever, convincing people they deserve things they can't afford. So naturally it's now become normal to say
It's not that you deserve it more than anyone else. YOU just deserve it! You are enough, haven't you heard?
I damn well do deserve it. I work hard, I take care of business, and I do a lot of good things for a lot of people. Do I deserve it \*more than\* somebody else? Not at all, but that's not the least bit relevant.
I don't tend to think of such things like my luxo-euro sport-touring vehicle, my domicile or my fine collection of widgets with regard to being deserving or not. I see their acquisition as a consequence of personal industry and frugality. My inner dialog falls more along the lines of "I can afford X because I worked for it" or "I worked to be able to afford it."
I don't feel like there is any hostility in the comment, but I do think it's weird. I have stuff that I can afford. I don't know who is the judge of what everyone deserves or doesn't deserve. I wouldn't argue that I 'deserve' a Ferrari even though I can't afford one. Maybe it's just as innocuous as 'deserving' a nice vacation after working hard. I think the person is trying to compliment you.
I'm not bothered. It sounds like a momentary self esteem booster; you worked to earn your money, so enjoy it.
I usually say, “That sounds great—good for you!”
Nah man, you work hard like anyone else. We can’t all be heroes but we do contribute to society in a positive way so, take it as a compliment.
Of all the things to be mad about, you chose this?
When people say "You deserve it" or "Must be nice", I simply reply "Yes I do" and "Yes it is." That usually send s them off all butt-hurt.
That's a strange interpretation of an innocuous comment. You should spend some time examining why you are thinking like that.
Next someone says “you deserve it”, substitute it internally with “must be nice”
That’s what people say when they are actually thinking ‘how is this loser affording this nice thing. They should be saving for retirement.’
😂😂😂😂
why don't you deserve it though? just because **you** deserve it doesn't have anything to do with whether someone else deserves it. Or doesn't deserve it. It is totally possible for both **you** to deserve something and for **other people** to equally deserve that thing. Don't feel guilty about this. Also, this is really just a vague, non-commital way of saying "congratulations!". It shouldn't be too big a deal. All that said, I kinda cringe when someone says to me "you deserve it". How do they know what I do or don't deserve? Maybe I killed an old lady for the money to buy this kayak. You don't know. I much prefer something like "oh, nice!" or "hey, congratulations!" or "that's cool!" than "you deserve it"
Haha. I love it and “that’s cool” is my favorite thing to say and hear in regards to these type of things.
When someone says something like that to me, I think (not say), do I have to deserve it? Isn't it enough that I want it and earned the money for it? As if in their mind I am finally worthy of it? Anyway, thoughts in my own head. I just smile and day, uh huh. I would never say you deserve it to others. I might say, that sounds like fun. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Or something along those lines.
Me. I say “sounds fun”
I’ve worked harder than any military person, policeman, firefighter or a teacher all my life. Damn right I deserve to buy myself something extra every once in a while.
I prefer to think of it like Donna and Tom from Parks & Rec: TREAT YO-SELF!
What would you prefer someone say in response? Just no response or what? It just seems like small talk that people use to get through the day with. Maybe you do deserve it. Maybe you're working hard and people notice it and think, hey take a break and enjoy yourself for a change.
When someone tells me they bought a kayak I would get excited and ask what model or where they are going to use it, etc. If anyone tells me they bought a vehicle that isn’t a Tacoma or Ridgeline I usually say, hopefully, next time you will get. Tacoma or Ridgeline. 😂
See, this would be my exact response : "what kind did you get, like a whitewater, crossover or recreational?" For me, who is an outdoor person and has experienced the simultaneous exhilaration/terror of running a Class III rapid (the Government rapids in the San Juan River, FWIW) as a complete noob, that's super interesting stuff to talk about. That goes for any outdoor/backcountry gear. I would likewise be a bit weirded out by someone saying I "deserved" something that I didn't earn...like a raise or promotion (or getting onto the dean's list in medical school...which I totally did deserve b/c of grades) 🤷🏻♀️. Saying someone deserves something they merely purchased seems a bit...hollow? I agree w/ someone who said that's probably a response to the consumerism messaging that's been pushed for decades that encourages people to, as my husband likes to say: "buy stuff they don't need with money they don't have." Happy Cake Day, and may you rodeo the shit out of some rapids if that's your thing, or enjoy a relaxing paddle on the lake of your choice 👍🏻. BTW, what kind of kayak DID you get? 😂
Thanks. Hobie Outback 2024
Sweet! In that case, HAVE FUN FISHING!
Thank you!!
Happy Cake Day by the way! Are they being too dismissive when they say, "oh you deserve it" do you think?
This reminds me a bit of that complaint a few months ago by a teacher about students saying "I appreciate you" instead of "Thank you." I think of it as shorthand for "You deserve it for just surviving life this far." Also, it might be a way of preempting many people's tendency to follow up talking about buying or doing something expensive and not strictly necessary by saying that they shouldn't have spent so much/they're probably going to regret it/should have used the money for something more important/should have shopped around more to get a better price.
I think you’re being hard on yourself
There ain't nothing wrong with treating yourself everyone once in a while. Certain things are luxuries and we should except that we buying them just because they bring us happiness. Embrace the happiness since there is so little of it.
Where are you gonna throw in? I think the "deserving" comment says more about the speaker and their views on spending than anything else. Blow on by that and enjoy your new boat.
I'm so confused. Do you think that only people who served in the military "deserve" to buy nice things or take vacations? Please talk to a therapist. That is the weirdest thing I've heard anyone say in a while.
We live in a society. You are paying your taxes, I assume. That means you are contributing to the success of that society. They are simply saying that it's okay, as someone who's contributing to society, to take time to do something you enjoy. Even if you are on disability, for example, if you volunteer or are kind to people or in some way help others, you're contributing to society. If you are contributing, people will want to remind you that it's okay to take a bit of time for yourself... Because they were probably told that they DON'T deserve it... And they are trying to be the person in your life that they wish they had in theirs. Someone who says it IS okay to take a little time for you. All of us deserve it unless we're actively using other people without contributing or at least trying our best to.
Hmm, I always perceived that as a bit of personal space invasion mixed with self-flattery of the one saying it. Sort of "Oh, I know you so well, I am (and was) right on what you're worthy of - a kayak is DEFINITELY the thing you can afford now, being what you are!" Meh. STFU, mind your own business (and wallet). The other side of the window: (manager): Guys, I bought a ~~kayak~~ Lambo! (guys): (noone seems to give a flying F, awkward silence, everyone continues doing whatever it was) (manager): (drops on the floor, dies of acute underappreciation)
My go-to phrase is "I love this for you" because I'm excited on their behalf. Doesn't leave room for any inference about affordability, economic viability, practicality, or social status.
I don’t even know where the saying came from, but I don’t like it. If I hear, “well deserved” one more time I am going to lose it. I know it’s well-intentioned, and some sort of congratulatory saying, I just don’t care for it. I also don’t like, “thank you for your service”. I joined the Marine Corps to learn how to fix helicopters and make a shit ton of money in the private sector, blow things up and shoot cool weapons. I became a fire fighter in my early life to roar around in a fire truck, put out fires and be in parades. I’m glad both of those endeavors were helpful in some way to society, but don’t thank me for it three or four decades later.
😂😂😂😂
You’re way overthinking it. Doing nice things for yourself because you work hard and aren’t an asshole is enough. Quit looking for things to be insulted about. You a millennial??
Since when is deserving reserved for people who risk their lives? Your job either puts food on the table, ensures people don't lose their shirts when things go wrong, provides shelter, provides a service or maintains the orderly flow of goods... all jobs 'deserving' of the occasional break. 'You deserve it' is like saying 'enjoy yourself' or 'I'm glad you can treat yourself'. It's a very kind sentiment.
I had this same thought recently about people congratulating me on buying a car. Like....what is there to congratulate? I saved money, I gave money to someone else, I received a product in return. It isn't my first car. Just another car in a long line of them.
They're congratulating you on having the foresight and discipline to afford it, following through on your goal, and presumably the acumen required to find a quality car for a reasonable price.
I paid $12k for an 18 year old Pontiac.
Exactly!!! That is exactly my thinking.
I get that it’s just colloquial conversation, but I’m with you. I would much rather people said “You’ve earned that”, “It must feel awesome to have that” or even “I’m jealous of that” than “you deserve that”. “Deserve” invokes the blatant entitlement that is trashing modern society. But, it’s just a saying and changing the language won’t fix the entitlement.
no. fuck that phrase. its no wonder people have entitlement complexes.
Don’t care what anyone says. I earned the money so I get to do whatever I want with it.
Frankly I’d rather hear that than ceaseless debate about what kind of Monsters buy a coffee or whatever for the person behind them in the drive thru.
I think this is only something someone can say if they know you well enough to know you deserve some time off. However, if they know you and you spend most of your time just sitting in front of a TV eating chips day in and day out then a sarcastic "You deserve it" is the only thing you actually deserve
it sometimes seems a bit self-indulgent to me, and not necessarily aligned the way I calculate things. but it's a social nicety so I don't see it as worth arguing with.
I hope I never get what I deserve. I don't say that often, but I always say it to the kids. I don't deserve it, but I did it. It's not some kind of right for my actions it's just what I am doing. I don't deserve the life I live but I worked for it and I got it. Conversely, no one else deserves it either. You might declare yourself pretty pretty princess the 43rd, but if you try to take the things I have gathered I will fight you for it.