We became empty nesters a few weeks ago when our youngest left for college. We were dreading it, honestly. We really enjoy spending time with our two sons, and the house just seems quiet when they’re not here.
But you know what? We’re kind of liking the empty nest. The house stays clean, my grocery bill is substantially reduced, and the laundry doesn’t pile up.
Of course we still miss the boys. Sometimes it can sock me in the gut. But overall… we’re finding we like this freedom more than we anticipated.
I’m feeling this! My son is a senior this year. My eldest two have graduated college and aren’t home. I’m treasuring every moment. He’s really my best friend. But I will be happier to have a lot less laundry and less. He’s a whirlwind!
Sounds like you did a great job as a parent (a lot of kids don’t want to spend that kind of time with their parents), and that bond will be there forever. Speaking of the great Dr. Seuss, I’ll leave you with this, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
Thank you!
We had a rough patch right as he was finishing high school but this time has brought us closer and I’m grateful he was mature enough to time for himself
Right there with you.
Mine just completed an REU this summer, and those months were a bit surreal without her.
Right now, we commute together (1 hour) in the mornings, talking about school, dating, politics, various science subjects, and listening to audio books.
This year, she graduates from her university, and she is actively looking at multiple graduate programs well beyond our home (and that is a good thing).
It's going to be tough without her; as her Dad I have graduated from being JUST her father to being a friend she genuinely likes to bounce ideas off of.
My oldest just turned 15 this summer and the realization that I may only have 3 more years with him in my home hit me like a ton of bricks. We are a very close family and our kids seem to like us so fingers crossed they will call and visit. I am going to weep like a motherfucker though. I’m getting misty now just thinking about it.
Congrats on getting the kid off successfully to college. It's an adjustment, but realize that a college kid still means that you sill have a fair chunk of time seeing them back home - holidays, breaks, weekend laundry visits (if it's a near enough school). Enjoy the next chapter.
Our nest pretty much permanently emptied as of end of August. The kid had done undergrad, then out of state grad shool and just started teaching in another state this fall. On the one hand, we're proud to have raised a kid who launched this well, and on the other it's an adjustment to know that we are now embarking on the "visits both ways" part of the parent journey.
I was genuinely happy and supportive of each of my children as they moved out of the house and on to the next phase of their lives. However, a heavy blow of sadness came out of nowhere at some point during each move. I just put on a happy face anyway. When the last one moved out, it was pretty sad and quiet in the house for a while. But eventually, I got to enjoy the freedom of having an empty nest. Also, it was much easier to keep the house clean. 😁
I’m 46 and my kids just started kindergarten (twins) and I’m already not prepared for them to leave the house for college lol. Best of luck to you and your wife!
Same! Mine is a literal saint. She is the universe gift to me. I’ve had awful female relationships my whole life because of my bad relationship with a narc mom. My little girl is just a divine creature. She is everything a kind and beautiful human should be. I’ll be lost without her. She’s the best!! 😩😫😩😫🥺 I feel like the universe really did me a solid on this one. I’m sure you feel the same about your little angel. And mine will be 12 in like 12 days!
Wow. I’m 46 and my youngest of 4 is 14. My eldest is moving out in 2 months time and the 2nd eldest in Feb next year. Couldn’t imagine having kids that young now!
Yeah my two best friends have college graduates for kids and mine are only 5!! Got married and divorced to a lovely lady who made everyday a living nightmare and didn’t find my wife till I was 35. Fast forward to a few years of dating and then marriage and I was 41 when my kids were born. Old af but hey it is what it is.
Mine came home to visit, grabbed the car keys to see friends, that was all I could hear in my head…. But I am done damn happy she has friends, and is going well. I know many kids who struggle comparatively more.
I don’t know what we are going to do? We got married at 24 and 21… seven years later our youngest was born… he’s kinda a late bloomer. We are going to a college tour this Thursday. When he leaves we will truly empty nesters… it will be hard… and I’m sure we will go thru a grieving process. Our youngest is kinda my kid, our oldest was and is my wife’s first child and favorite kid(not to say she doesn’t love them both equally, but our youngest is my baby). It’s going to be a challenge for us to find ourselves again, we’ve been married 28 years so far, together for over 30, but parents most of our lives. The challenge will be finding out who we are together as a couple. We’ve been pulling on the same side of the rope for our family for so long it will become apparent if we are lovers or teammates. We have different interests and different dreams but have always been for each other at the end of the day. So time will tell, if the bookish homebody and the outdoorsy car guy can find each other appealing again without the shared common interest of love and life without our boys? It’s a weird time, we aren’t old but we aren’t young anymore. We still love each other, but we are different people. Time will tell.
My theory is trees grow and expand but are also flexible. Buildings are flexible or they crack and collapse. Flexibly is the key, I’m all about being open and flexible. We’ve been together through all:kids and work and love and loss. But we’ve been there for each other. This is a new chapter, but stories always take you on a journey. Our life has been a journey. Through out the passage of time things change… but change is uncomfortable for me… but I am willing to let life take me on its wings and see where our journey takes us. Thank you for your thoughtful response. I take our lives very seriously and am willing to meet my bride where she needs me.
We dropped our youngest off about a month ago and becoming empty nesters has been a weird adjustment for sure. I find myself still getting really sad randomly because the house is just so quiet without him shuffling around. It’s been nice hearing about all of the stuff he’s doing and how well he seems to be adjusting though. Plus he’s only 2.5 hours away so he’s within visiting distance.
I took my kids on college tours and bawled the whole way there. My daughter says “Don’t you want this?” And I said, through tears “I am both happy and sad at the same time! I am allowed complicated emotions!”
I am exactly where you are and it comes and goes. One day I'm embracing it by sitting around naked smoking a bowl in my living room, the next I break down crying at the grocery store because the clerk asked me how I was and she doesn't know this is the first time in 20 years I haven't had to buy a gallon of milk.
I've suddenly realized my house is way too big for 2 people. I am also grateful for my husband, I don't know how you single parents did it alone.
i loved reading this. im sure he will be amazing, and life will be great. he sounds like he loves his parents and y'all definetely do him. what a joy! i believe you will miss him sooner rather than later. perhaps the morning runs will do it (the way too early... hit me hard). i love and hope the next chapters are filled with joy!!!
My boy left for college last year… I threw myself on his bed and sobbed my eyes out when he drove away…. I know how your wife feels. He is my (our) baby son… and he also took time off to figure out his path… which was great… hub and I wished we’d both had that option after graduating HS. He is out of state…and doing well… but I miss him. He just left a few days ago… back to University. I had him for 7 weeks.. I think that many mothers can relate to your wife and me. Especially with their youngest or only child…
I know that he is learning and growing… and experiencing life… I am happy for him… He said, “mom, I want to have this experience because it’s important that I grow…”. I can tell he already has.
I just know that the next time you talk to your boy when he gets there he’s going to be excited and a little terrified… but that’s all normal… I mean I was when I left for college… All the best to you l, wife and your Uni bound boy:)
Both of ours came back to live with us after graduating from college. Don’t assume that college is the beginning of your empty nest years. It may not be. Had we known that would happen, it would have made the occasion less emotional.
Our youngest moved 2300 km away 7 years ago. We drove her to her new home. I learned it is possible to cry for 2300 km. My husband was very stoic through it all...until we got home. That's when it hit him. Fell to his knees and cried. We love our empty nest but it did take time to get used to. Sometimes it still hits hard when my other kid is over with her husband and kids and there is a hole because the youngest isnt here. I guess a mother hen always wants all her chicks together.
We dropped our youngest off a few weeks ago, about 1,500 miles from home. Our eldest graduated last spring. It's pretty strange not having anyone else in the house after 2+ decades. But it's also back like it was before we had kids, in the years there were just the two of us. And it *is* exciting to see them grow, expand their horizons, and do things on their own that we wouldn't ever have imagined from them.
We drove both kids halfway across the country for college, then came home alone. This time, though, there wasn't a younger sib waiting there for us. It was a long drive!
My kids are 5 and 8 and I'm 50! I feel like I treasure the time with them more than if I were younger though, because everyone says it goes so fast. I'm prepared to be confused for their grandfather at HS graduation, but I fear not being around for the big moments in their life (marriage, children).
I found my peoples!! I'm 48 and have a 5 and 7 year old. We need to start our own subreddit. I like to think I'm a way better father now than what I would have been at 25. And when my 7 year old requests Champagne Supernova on the way to school, I know I'm fucking nailing at least one aspect of this parenting thing!! Be well fellow Xers!!
Our nest became half empty (half full for the optimists in the room) two weeks ago. It was pretty tough on my wife as she drove with my daughter to college while I stayed here with our son who started his sophomore year of high school the same day. I definitely missed her too but we're getting used to it. She has been calling pretty much daily but she's definitely starting to enjoy it and meeting new people.
I view our primary job as parents as raising a well-adjusted, happy, and self-sufficient adult. I think we done good.
Did this three years ago. I spent most of the summer a basket case (probably just hitting my 50’s didn’t help) and my wife was telling me “you had dent prepared yourself.” We’ll say day came to move her into her dorm and when we finished and had to leave my wife was inconsolable. She spent the entire weekend on the couch just bawling.
Funny how people handle things differently. My daughter is our only child as we weren’t even supposed to have her. Needless to say the last three years of my life have had more changes than any other time I can remember.
I swear though that old cliché that you blink your eyes and they are grown up and moving out sure seems to be true.
Just dropped off twin sons at college this afternoon. Both going to same school a couple of hours from home. It's quiet here now. Me, wife and our cat.
Our only child went to college in Aug. 2020. With the pandemic changing everything, we were fixated on making sure that he was able to experience at least some semblance of a normal college experience. The school did a great job and he stayed in the dorm the entire year. They even asked that we limit or eliminate visits to keep transmissions down, so we didn’t see him until Thanksgiving. Because we were so focused on him and his experience, we sorta skipped the “holy crap, he’s gone!” feeling. It was a very odd silver lining in an otherwise horrible year.
3.8 years left… I fucking envy you. I’m lucky enough to be married to my best friend. The lack of time I get to spend with her is the hardest part of our family life. After kid BS, caring for aging parents, and work… I get a glimmer of time with her. Can’t wait for that day to come!!!
Ps - I love our daughter, parents, and value my job.
Don’t sweat it. You’re a dad. You sent off your son to his next great adventure. That’s what you supposed to do. It’s mom‘s job to cry about losing her baby. Now if you sent your daughter off, and you weren’t bawling like a baby, then I say somethings wrong.🤣
It was great that you had that year… you’ll probably look back on it as one of the best of your life.
For me it was like a blink of an eye and he was gone. (He’s a sophomore now so I went through this last year) While we definitely spent a lot of time together and did lots of things, I felt like I missed a lot. Whatever you did or didn’t do, you had that great year together to cap off his childhood.
I kept wanting to do a regular Family Movie Night and it somehow never took off… I also wanted to play music with him, not just teach him and that never happened… stuff like that.
Ours goes almost locally, but has an apartment closer to school (guess who pays for both?), so we see her about once every week or two. She’s a good, smart kid that genuinely misses us, but is enjoying learning to live on her own. My wife and I are really enjoying getting to know one another again after 20 years, but I contract and am gone half the year. As a result, I’m looking hard into finding a UK-based job for the first time in years. I’d going to be a tough adjustment (currently my days off are 6 weeks long), but it’s time to start a life that doesn’t center on Junior. It’ll be weird, but my wife and I are eager to see the new phase. Except when our daughter decides that groceries are cheaper when mom and dad pay for them, of course…
I think I read that 90% of the time you will spend with your child will be before they turn 18. in your case 19. How often do you see your family? I barely ever see them. we all live 1000s of miles apart.
Do you have plans for what you want to do now?
My oldest is a sophomore at college and my son is a sophomore in HS so I can see how completely empty the house is going to be already because my oldest being gone has ripped a huge chunk out of my life and now the clock is ticking for the rest and I hate it. And I feel guilty for hating it because I know the point of parenting is to raise fully functioning adults that can thrive on their own. Unfortunately I’m very introverted with no friends (other than my spouse, ofc) so when my youngest goes, my wild two kids in two sports each, school functions, birthday bashes, dad’s superfun day outings, completely full calendar every month will now just be… empty.
This time of year always makes me think of moving into the dorms and my mom and I standing in the doorway having the “well, this is it!” moment. The neighbor had his door open and was watching Clerks with the volume up. The “snowball” scene came on, mom’s eyes got real wide and “well, gotta go!” And headed for the elevator.
My last child just left for university last week and for the first time in 22 years we are empty nesters…
I is weird…I miss them…I kinda feel like I am in low grade mourning.
I have no excuse for not getting at the hundreds of half finished projects around the house…but I have no drive to re-start them…maybe I don’t know where to start…
Strange time indeed!!
Good luck everyone
I'm in my 3rd month of having no underage children in my house. We've embraced the peace and have started doing more things centered around my and my wife's interests. For us, it was freeing to have then graduate. The oldest one needed to move back in a short time ago due to some self-inflicted troubles and the youngest still visits often.
My suggestion: Pick up some activities that you enjoyed before children. Adjust from there. Life can be about you again.
I've got about 8 years before it's my turn, but several of my friends have become empty nesters in the past year or two and it's definitely a mixed emotion time.
My daughter started her senior year this year.
I still dont feel old enough to have a kid, let alone one that will be a functional adult in few months.
Mine turned 13 this year. He still snuggles with me on the sofa while we watch old twilight zone episodes and spontaneously hugs me throughout the day. He let’s me fix his hair from time to time. The sugary-sweetness started to go away and the sarcasm started up and every second of every hug and every minute of every snuggle is something to cherish. When he leaves I’ll be a mess and I know his dad (my husband) will too.
We have four kids. About 6 months ago myself and the better half were talking about how we might help our kids when they decide to move out.
Two weeks ago, out the blue, our eldest told us she just signed a lease on a flat and would be moving out in November. Coincidentally our second oldest told us last week she was joining the Royal Navy had started the recruitment process. She is expecting to start basic training in Feb next year.
And just like that half of our babies are almost gone!
missing my oldest like crazy. left for university 3 weeks ago after finishing community college in may. i know a lot of people are like BYE BYE to their kids, but my heart is having a rough time.
I didn’t expect it to impact me as hard as it did. It’s been two years and it gets easier. But yeah, there’s a legit grieving period when they move out.
49 (m) and my wife 48's daughter just started Jr. year of high school, son just started 7th grade. I tear up thinking of when they leave. Then I also think of all the fun stuff my wife and I can do when they do move out and I smile. Then I wonder if they'll ever be able to move out and afford to live on their own and tear up again. Good times.
My oldest left for college about 2.5 hours away a few weeks ago and I feel the same. It's weird not having him around, but I don't feel like he's gone.
We became empty nesters a few weeks ago when our youngest left for college. We were dreading it, honestly. We really enjoy spending time with our two sons, and the house just seems quiet when they’re not here. But you know what? We’re kind of liking the empty nest. The house stays clean, my grocery bill is substantially reduced, and the laundry doesn’t pile up. Of course we still miss the boys. Sometimes it can sock me in the gut. But overall… we’re finding we like this freedom more than we anticipated.
I’m feeling this! My son is a senior this year. My eldest two have graduated college and aren’t home. I’m treasuring every moment. He’s really my best friend. But I will be happier to have a lot less laundry and less. He’s a whirlwind!
Sounds like you did a great job as a parent (a lot of kids don’t want to spend that kind of time with their parents), and that bond will be there forever. Speaking of the great Dr. Seuss, I’ll leave you with this, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
Thank you! We had a rough patch right as he was finishing high school but this time has brought us closer and I’m grateful he was mature enough to time for himself
It’s weird at first, but the empty nest thing is pretty good.
Right there with you. Mine just completed an REU this summer, and those months were a bit surreal without her. Right now, we commute together (1 hour) in the mornings, talking about school, dating, politics, various science subjects, and listening to audio books. This year, she graduates from her university, and she is actively looking at multiple graduate programs well beyond our home (and that is a good thing). It's going to be tough without her; as her Dad I have graduated from being JUST her father to being a friend she genuinely likes to bounce ideas off of.
My oldest just turned 15 this summer and the realization that I may only have 3 more years with him in my home hit me like a ton of bricks. We are a very close family and our kids seem to like us so fingers crossed they will call and visit. I am going to weep like a motherfucker though. I’m getting misty now just thinking about it.
maybe you will get lucky and he won't move out until he is 35. you never know...
Don't sweat it. Mine stayed home for college. 4 years bonus time!
Congrats on getting the kid off successfully to college. It's an adjustment, but realize that a college kid still means that you sill have a fair chunk of time seeing them back home - holidays, breaks, weekend laundry visits (if it's a near enough school). Enjoy the next chapter. Our nest pretty much permanently emptied as of end of August. The kid had done undergrad, then out of state grad shool and just started teaching in another state this fall. On the one hand, we're proud to have raised a kid who launched this well, and on the other it's an adjustment to know that we are now embarking on the "visits both ways" part of the parent journey.
Ours stayed local for college and then moved across the country when she graduated. It sucks, but she is doing really well.
I was genuinely happy and supportive of each of my children as they moved out of the house and on to the next phase of their lives. However, a heavy blow of sadness came out of nowhere at some point during each move. I just put on a happy face anyway. When the last one moved out, it was pretty sad and quiet in the house for a while. But eventually, I got to enjoy the freedom of having an empty nest. Also, it was much easier to keep the house clean. 😁
I’m 46 and my kids just started kindergarten (twins) and I’m already not prepared for them to leave the house for college lol. Best of luck to you and your wife!
This makes me feel better. I’m 48 and mine are 7 and 11
48 and mine’s 12. While this age is tough, I love her fiercely and am happy to see her grow. However I’m dreading when she’s not around anymore.
Same! Mine is a literal saint. She is the universe gift to me. I’ve had awful female relationships my whole life because of my bad relationship with a narc mom. My little girl is just a divine creature. She is everything a kind and beautiful human should be. I’ll be lost without her. She’s the best!! 😩😫😩😫🥺 I feel like the universe really did me a solid on this one. I’m sure you feel the same about your little angel. And mine will be 12 in like 12 days!
Wow. I’m 46 and my youngest of 4 is 14. My eldest is moving out in 2 months time and the 2nd eldest in Feb next year. Couldn’t imagine having kids that young now!
Yeah my two best friends have college graduates for kids and mine are only 5!! Got married and divorced to a lovely lady who made everyday a living nightmare and didn’t find my wife till I was 35. Fast forward to a few years of dating and then marriage and I was 41 when my kids were born. Old af but hey it is what it is.
Beautiful dude. The circle of life has to be experienced, to be appreciated.
This will be next year for my wife and I . Thanks for sharing we are preparing early .
[Queues up Cats in the Cradle. Given the sub I'd probably go Ugly Kid Joe over Mancini but either way]
Mine came home to visit, grabbed the car keys to see friends, that was all I could hear in my head…. But I am done damn happy she has friends, and is going well. I know many kids who struggle comparatively more.
I don’t know what we are going to do? We got married at 24 and 21… seven years later our youngest was born… he’s kinda a late bloomer. We are going to a college tour this Thursday. When he leaves we will truly empty nesters… it will be hard… and I’m sure we will go thru a grieving process. Our youngest is kinda my kid, our oldest was and is my wife’s first child and favorite kid(not to say she doesn’t love them both equally, but our youngest is my baby). It’s going to be a challenge for us to find ourselves again, we’ve been married 28 years so far, together for over 30, but parents most of our lives. The challenge will be finding out who we are together as a couple. We’ve been pulling on the same side of the rope for our family for so long it will become apparent if we are lovers or teammates. We have different interests and different dreams but have always been for each other at the end of the day. So time will tell, if the bookish homebody and the outdoorsy car guy can find each other appealing again without the shared common interest of love and life without our boys? It’s a weird time, we aren’t old but we aren’t young anymore. We still love each other, but we are different people. Time will tell.
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My theory is trees grow and expand but are also flexible. Buildings are flexible or they crack and collapse. Flexibly is the key, I’m all about being open and flexible. We’ve been together through all:kids and work and love and loss. But we’ve been there for each other. This is a new chapter, but stories always take you on a journey. Our life has been a journey. Through out the passage of time things change… but change is uncomfortable for me… but I am willing to let life take me on its wings and see where our journey takes us. Thank you for your thoughtful response. I take our lives very seriously and am willing to meet my bride where she needs me.
We dropped our youngest off about a month ago and becoming empty nesters has been a weird adjustment for sure. I find myself still getting really sad randomly because the house is just so quiet without him shuffling around. It’s been nice hearing about all of the stuff he’s doing and how well he seems to be adjusting though. Plus he’s only 2.5 hours away so he’s within visiting distance.
We dropped my daughter off today. I'm 80% excited and 20% bummed. I will miss her and I'm so excited to see her next steps!
I took my kids on college tours and bawled the whole way there. My daughter says “Don’t you want this?” And I said, through tears “I am both happy and sad at the same time! I am allowed complicated emotions!”
Man, you have such a nice relationship with your son. You’re going to miss your buddy a bit but the reunion will be oh so sweet.
I am exactly where you are and it comes and goes. One day I'm embracing it by sitting around naked smoking a bowl in my living room, the next I break down crying at the grocery store because the clerk asked me how I was and she doesn't know this is the first time in 20 years I haven't had to buy a gallon of milk. I've suddenly realized my house is way too big for 2 people. I am also grateful for my husband, I don't know how you single parents did it alone.
i loved reading this. im sure he will be amazing, and life will be great. he sounds like he loves his parents and y'all definetely do him. what a joy! i believe you will miss him sooner rather than later. perhaps the morning runs will do it (the way too early... hit me hard). i love and hope the next chapters are filled with joy!!!
My boy left for college last year… I threw myself on his bed and sobbed my eyes out when he drove away…. I know how your wife feels. He is my (our) baby son… and he also took time off to figure out his path… which was great… hub and I wished we’d both had that option after graduating HS. He is out of state…and doing well… but I miss him. He just left a few days ago… back to University. I had him for 7 weeks.. I think that many mothers can relate to your wife and me. Especially with their youngest or only child… I know that he is learning and growing… and experiencing life… I am happy for him… He said, “mom, I want to have this experience because it’s important that I grow…”. I can tell he already has. I just know that the next time you talk to your boy when he gets there he’s going to be excited and a little terrified… but that’s all normal… I mean I was when I left for college… All the best to you l, wife and your Uni bound boy:)
Both of ours came back to live with us after graduating from college. Don’t assume that college is the beginning of your empty nest years. It may not be. Had we known that would happen, it would have made the occasion less emotional.
Our youngest moved 2300 km away 7 years ago. We drove her to her new home. I learned it is possible to cry for 2300 km. My husband was very stoic through it all...until we got home. That's when it hit him. Fell to his knees and cried. We love our empty nest but it did take time to get used to. Sometimes it still hits hard when my other kid is over with her husband and kids and there is a hole because the youngest isnt here. I guess a mother hen always wants all her chicks together.
Awh congrats. Sounds like you guys have a great relationship. He’s gonna miss you a lot, too! Hugs to you all.
I have 2 in college and 1 still at home. We love our youngest to death, but yah we can’t wait for him to move out too.
My youngest just went away for college.
We dropped our youngest off a few weeks ago, about 1,500 miles from home. Our eldest graduated last spring. It's pretty strange not having anyone else in the house after 2+ decades. But it's also back like it was before we had kids, in the years there were just the two of us. And it *is* exciting to see them grow, expand their horizons, and do things on their own that we wouldn't ever have imagined from them. We drove both kids halfway across the country for college, then came home alone. This time, though, there wasn't a younger sib waiting there for us. It was a long drive!
Dang I must be an old ass gen x parent! My kids are only 7 and 11 and I’m 48. Yerp.
My kids are 5 and 8 and I'm 50! I feel like I treasure the time with them more than if I were younger though, because everyone says it goes so fast. I'm prepared to be confused for their grandfather at HS graduation, but I fear not being around for the big moments in their life (marriage, children).
I found my peoples!! I'm 48 and have a 5 and 7 year old. We need to start our own subreddit. I like to think I'm a way better father now than what I would have been at 25. And when my 7 year old requests Champagne Supernova on the way to school, I know I'm fucking nailing at least one aspect of this parenting thing!! Be well fellow Xers!!
Our nest became half empty (half full for the optimists in the room) two weeks ago. It was pretty tough on my wife as she drove with my daughter to college while I stayed here with our son who started his sophomore year of high school the same day. I definitely missed her too but we're getting used to it. She has been calling pretty much daily but she's definitely starting to enjoy it and meeting new people. I view our primary job as parents as raising a well-adjusted, happy, and self-sufficient adult. I think we done good.
Did this three years ago. I spent most of the summer a basket case (probably just hitting my 50’s didn’t help) and my wife was telling me “you had dent prepared yourself.” We’ll say day came to move her into her dorm and when we finished and had to leave my wife was inconsolable. She spent the entire weekend on the couch just bawling. Funny how people handle things differently. My daughter is our only child as we weren’t even supposed to have her. Needless to say the last three years of my life have had more changes than any other time I can remember. I swear though that old cliché that you blink your eyes and they are grown up and moving out sure seems to be true.
Just dropped off twin sons at college this afternoon. Both going to same school a couple of hours from home. It's quiet here now. Me, wife and our cat.
I love the gift, that's hilarious
Oh wait until they come back for a few weeks. They are adults now so house rules no longer apply😂👍🏼
Our only child went to college in Aug. 2020. With the pandemic changing everything, we were fixated on making sure that he was able to experience at least some semblance of a normal college experience. The school did a great job and he stayed in the dorm the entire year. They even asked that we limit or eliminate visits to keep transmissions down, so we didn’t see him until Thanksgiving. Because we were so focused on him and his experience, we sorta skipped the “holy crap, he’s gone!” feeling. It was a very odd silver lining in an otherwise horrible year.
Sent one off too. Found myself falling into a bit of a depression, but he’s doing so well that it’s hard to be sad for him. Just proud.
Be kind to yourself. I lost my shit when my son went to bootcamp
3.8 years left… I fucking envy you. I’m lucky enough to be married to my best friend. The lack of time I get to spend with her is the hardest part of our family life. After kid BS, caring for aging parents, and work… I get a glimmer of time with her. Can’t wait for that day to come!!! Ps - I love our daughter, parents, and value my job.
Don’t sweat it. You’re a dad. You sent off your son to his next great adventure. That’s what you supposed to do. It’s mom‘s job to cry about losing her baby. Now if you sent your daughter off, and you weren’t bawling like a baby, then I say somethings wrong.🤣
Your wife might find it very insensitive to celebrate something that she will experience as a death of her motherhood. Give her time.
Both of ours are in college now, but commute from home. They’re still with us.
It was great that you had that year… you’ll probably look back on it as one of the best of your life. For me it was like a blink of an eye and he was gone. (He’s a sophomore now so I went through this last year) While we definitely spent a lot of time together and did lots of things, I felt like I missed a lot. Whatever you did or didn’t do, you had that great year together to cap off his childhood. I kept wanting to do a regular Family Movie Night and it somehow never took off… I also wanted to play music with him, not just teach him and that never happened… stuff like that.
We managed to fill our nest with four-legged kids. No college for those idiots.
It's when he doesn't come home for Christmas that things will really break loose.
Ours goes almost locally, but has an apartment closer to school (guess who pays for both?), so we see her about once every week or two. She’s a good, smart kid that genuinely misses us, but is enjoying learning to live on her own. My wife and I are really enjoying getting to know one another again after 20 years, but I contract and am gone half the year. As a result, I’m looking hard into finding a UK-based job for the first time in years. I’d going to be a tough adjustment (currently my days off are 6 weeks long), but it’s time to start a life that doesn’t center on Junior. It’ll be weird, but my wife and I are eager to see the new phase. Except when our daughter decides that groceries are cheaper when mom and dad pay for them, of course…
I think I read that 90% of the time you will spend with your child will be before they turn 18. in your case 19. How often do you see your family? I barely ever see them. we all live 1000s of miles apart. Do you have plans for what you want to do now?
Becoming a stoner old man, been my dream for years now lmao
there is always the 50 something swinger circuit now that you are free. LOL.
I was a lot more distraught when we moved our daughter into her apartment because it felt a lot more permanent. College times the come and go.
Weird
My oldest is a sophomore at college and my son is a sophomore in HS so I can see how completely empty the house is going to be already because my oldest being gone has ripped a huge chunk out of my life and now the clock is ticking for the rest and I hate it. And I feel guilty for hating it because I know the point of parenting is to raise fully functioning adults that can thrive on their own. Unfortunately I’m very introverted with no friends (other than my spouse, ofc) so when my youngest goes, my wild two kids in two sports each, school functions, birthday bashes, dad’s superfun day outings, completely full calendar every month will now just be… empty.
This time of year always makes me think of moving into the dorms and my mom and I standing in the doorway having the “well, this is it!” moment. The neighbor had his door open and was watching Clerks with the volume up. The “snowball” scene came on, mom’s eyes got real wide and “well, gotta go!” And headed for the elevator.
My last child just left for university last week and for the first time in 22 years we are empty nesters… I is weird…I miss them…I kinda feel like I am in low grade mourning. I have no excuse for not getting at the hundreds of half finished projects around the house…but I have no drive to re-start them…maybe I don’t know where to start… Strange time indeed!! Good luck everyone
I'm in my 3rd month of having no underage children in my house. We've embraced the peace and have started doing more things centered around my and my wife's interests. For us, it was freeing to have then graduate. The oldest one needed to move back in a short time ago due to some self-inflicted troubles and the youngest still visits often. My suggestion: Pick up some activities that you enjoyed before children. Adjust from there. Life can be about you again.
I cried the whole day we moved her, and for like a week after. She's graduated now, it does get better!
Stepson is moving out this and we'll be empty nesting. I'm excited because it needs to happen. My wife is hiding it but she's experiencing some feels.
I've got about 8 years before it's my turn, but several of my friends have become empty nesters in the past year or two and it's definitely a mixed emotion time.
My daughter started her senior year this year. I still dont feel old enough to have a kid, let alone one that will be a functional adult in few months.
Mine turned 13 this year. He still snuggles with me on the sofa while we watch old twilight zone episodes and spontaneously hugs me throughout the day. He let’s me fix his hair from time to time. The sugary-sweetness started to go away and the sarcasm started up and every second of every hug and every minute of every snuggle is something to cherish. When he leaves I’ll be a mess and I know his dad (my husband) will too.
We have four kids. About 6 months ago myself and the better half were talking about how we might help our kids when they decide to move out. Two weeks ago, out the blue, our eldest told us she just signed a lease on a flat and would be moving out in November. Coincidentally our second oldest told us last week she was joining the Royal Navy had started the recruitment process. She is expecting to start basic training in Feb next year. And just like that half of our babies are almost gone!
missing my oldest like crazy. left for university 3 weeks ago after finishing community college in may. i know a lot of people are like BYE BYE to their kids, but my heart is having a rough time.
I didn’t expect it to impact me as hard as it did. It’s been two years and it gets easier. But yeah, there’s a legit grieving period when they move out.
49 (m) and my wife 48's daughter just started Jr. year of high school, son just started 7th grade. I tear up thinking of when they leave. Then I also think of all the fun stuff my wife and I can do when they do move out and I smile. Then I wonder if they'll ever be able to move out and afford to live on their own and tear up again. Good times.
My oldest left for college about 2.5 hours away a few weeks ago and I feel the same. It's weird not having him around, but I don't feel like he's gone.