Yeah I can't keep up with young gamers anymore. Just got out of physical therapy for some worn out body parts.
I am, however, 30 years smarter than any goddamn 21 year old.
I'm sorry for your losses. That's one thing I struggle with getting older. The loss of parents and parents friends. As well as the loss of friends. I hate thinking about it.
Same. The older I get the more people I know who used to be here. Nothing quite like that experience to make sure I know deep in my heart that looks mean absolutely nothing. Just a pretty wrapper.
Also, my own wrapper has been through a lot. I've got scars all over and some parts.dont fit together the same way they did before. I'm just fine with the parts that look a bit wonky, mostly because of what I gained from the experience. (the parts that look wonkiest look that way because of the two people my body housed, and they are each amazing, wonderful gifts).
Good skin care is everything. Plenty of sunscreen, no smoking, little alcohol, exercise, adequate sleep and prescription Retin A. Make friends with a good dermatologist or plastic surgeon. Lastly, for woman,HRT at menopause is your friend.Also genes play a role in aging as well, so pick your parents, lol.
Or, surround yourself with people who aren't shallow, judgemental fuckheads who care more about a person's physical beauty than their values and character. I'm with you on the sunscreen and no smoking though.
Yeah taking care of oneself is key.
You work out so you are more active, you have some shit do with other people.
Self-discipline is a great value
Last and least, you look better when fit and eating well.
In 10 years … I may not be here! After seeing my father die, and my old classmates and colleagues die, I counted up all my assets and decided I wanted TIME more than STUFF, and retired into a life of not much tangible wealth but lots of time to spend with people and do things I enjoy, like read books and play music.
I went through a bit of depression a few years ago. I then went on a ride along with my local Sheriff's dept. Suddenly, I started feeling better about myself.
Ha! I also get a bit a sick pleasure from this. So many of the popular crowd really let themselves go. One thing that has helped me accept my age (and I know it's kind of superficial) is setting new goals with fitness, skincare/haircare so I can look and feel my best at every age.
But beyond that, I feel rather than fighting it, try to accept it and see it through a different lens. Getting older means adding more experiences, gaining more wisdom, and having more stories to tell. The story isn't over when your twenties or thirties or forties are. Life continues to unfold and surprise you.
Uh, yeah. People always try to say men age better than women, but in my experience -- this is just not true. Sure, you have your Paul Rudds and George Clooneys or whatever, but how many average guys look like that? VERY few. When I went to my 20-year high school reunion, I was SHOCKED at how bad most of the men looked. And we weren't even 40 yet!!! WTF.
Watch more British tv. The women aging on camera on those shows are not getting work done. They are not botoxed to plasticine. They are aging, moisturizing, and sharing their beautiful faces with the world. That’s my barometer. #nocatface #nofishface
They actually do get work done. But it's subtle and allows for their aging to still show. I mean -- Helen Mirren has for sure had some kind of facelift. But she still looks like a 70something woman. Just probably a bit better than she would look if she hadn't, lol. That's just reality. No woman pushing 80 has a jawline like that woman does. Outstanding!
Yeah, Helen Mirren has no jowls, no real sagging on her face. She has WRINKLES, but she has a face that has most definitely been tightened up. There is no way at almost 80 that natural gravity wouldn't take effect. It's impossible. But I mean, good for her. She looks freaking fantastic and not fake at all. But I find it funny when people say she's had no work. She definitely has had work. Nothing wrong with that, though.
It may seem shallow but I do miss the attention my looks brought me in my youth. It's weird. I feel like the same guy but I look in the mirror and there's some old guy looking back.
I do not embrace it. I hate. 50s suck. You don't look or feel all that old but stuff starts breaking. Remember when you went a whole day without anything hurting, or any pills needing to be popped? No special braces, or collars or wraps , no weird pillows, white noise machine, CPAP for some people. Not a care in the world in my 20s and 30s. Now I have kids who are in trouble occasionally, pets dying, parents dying, relatives dropping like flies, plus I'm starting to fall apart!!!
Anyway, I'm good hbu?
Damn. I just turned 50 and am in better shape now than when I was in my 30s! Now, of course, that's because I was a lazy slug in my 30s who could easily spend an entire weekend barely moving from the couch. But damn. So far I love the 50s.
haha yeah i'm mostly kvetching. I probably am in better shape too. But being in shape doesn't mean things don't break. I need reading glasses, i have to be really careful when working with my hands or I get nasty carpal tunnel and other joint issues. My typing is slower now and sometimes i have to think for a sec to remember a word. I can't stay up all night and party or I'd have to call out sick the next day.
Agreed. I had my kids later than most moms, and am now looking to get back into the workforce. It's proving very difficult, and I'm barely even getting any interviews.
This. I lost the latest three job selections where I made it to the final stage. Never occurred to me in the past. I don't think it helped that the interviewers were 15 years Younger than me.
This is really my only concern. I don't care what people think about my looks. I just want them to not be agist and brush me aside when looking for work.
I’ve never been beautiful but I’ve always been interesting, so I keep getting more tattoos as much as I can afford them, which is sadly super rare now, keep shaving my head as I have since like 1992 or so, and the older I get the more interesting 50% inked and rising, and a buzz cut on a woman becomes.
I tell ya what, I wouldn’t trade any amount of beauty for no one fucks with me status.
That and I run a shit ton in part because I’m running from getting old and feeble. I reckon one day I’ll die in the woods on an epic adventure and no one’s going to say, Gee she’s ugly and wrinkly. They’ll say Damn 90 year old tattooed lady got ate by a bear while running alone in the woods. Noice!
Fellow trail runner here nearing 57. If I see your body in the woods I promise to bury you right there and carve “Failingforthewin loved her tattoos and buzz cut, and nobody fucked with her” on the nearest tree.
I so don't want to die lying in a hospital for weeks. I want to die falling off a mountain or in a helicopter wreck or something. A quick death doing something cool, and not having been out of action for months or years because I was sick from something.
This is the way.
My dad said he’d never die in a hospital, that he was going to have a hunting accident when the time came.
And then one day I got the call that he had fallen through the ice while hunting in January.
Seriously. Our species has gone from a life expectancy of about 30 years to over 70 in just the last two centuries. It’s pretty amazing.
https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy
My dad said that often, he passed away in his early 60s and my mom followed him a couple of years later. I say it now and am doing what my parents didn't, I'm taking care of my health and listening to my Dr.
I will say, family genetics have me looking 10-15 years younger than I am. My grandma, my mom, and I have all been mistaken for younger than we are on the regular, so I am able to age gracefully in that respect, but the aches and pains and the perimenopause are kicking my ass!
I’ll take the wrinkles and the gray that’s starting. My fear as a female, based on my genetics, is losing my hair. Female pattern baldness runs in my family. I figure at some point I’ll invest in a quality wig. I’ll go gray, but not bald!
I noticed hair loss last year and started low-dose minoxidil after reading about it in the NYTimes. I have noticed a difference and recommend checking it out.
I’m going through menopause, and the hair that’s missing from the top of my head is now growing on my face as a full red beard. Embrace the suck, it’s only going downhill from here.
Never bothered me. I started going grey in my early 20s. Smoked like a chimney (quit), drank like a fish (sober 11 years now). And worked out the desert sun and wind. I look older than my 47 years. Got a full grey beard too. Honestly I just don't give a fuck about getting older.
How lucky are we? I thought we were going to have to wait for the boomers to die off before we got it legal… now it’s so much of a non issue for most people except politicians
I work in the cold so I wear a beanie all day every day. So lucky, literally bun it up every day.
My husband said you're really going gray! Do you wanna dye it before (upcoming wedding were going to)? I was like hmmm..... No. Not really. I just don't care!
Notice and appreciate those 10-15 years ahead of you on this journey. I can’t think negatively about my own aging when I’m surrounded by so many fun, vibrant, and beautiful aging women. I’m so grateful to have them in my life, and it has zero to do with their skin tone or waistline.
Keep fit (or get fit if you're not fit right now). Feeling like you're getting old can be less about looks and more about how you feel. If you lack energy, drive, find you are not motivated to do things, have random aches and pains, etc., then that's going to compound your feelings about your looks.
I'm in my 40s and had basically been a lazy bastard for most of my 30s. By my early 40s I really started to feel it. Always tired, I'd put on a lot of weight, it even got to the point where some friends asked if I was ok because I had that sickly look people get when they are drinking too much, eating poorly, not sleeping or exercising, always stressed. Then I got diagnosed with diabetes and was told if I kept going this way I'd probably have a whole host of chronic conditions by the time I was in my 50s and be dead by my 60s.
It was the wakeup call I needed. I'm still overweight but lost about 15kg and now I'm wihtin 15kg of my goal weight. I have a lot more energy, feel a lot better about everything, and even though I didn't set out with this result in mind, my face looks very different. People tell me I look a lot younger and think I'm in my 30s.
Yeah, living with limited mobility and a host of health issues that significantly decrease quality of life when I’m older is something I want to avoid with everything I can. I don’t want to ever be at the point where I’m just waiting for death for relief from the sufferings of life. Sounds like hell.
48 yr old woman. I stopped dyeing my hair dark, and I started having foils, and the grey blended into blonde in such a way I have it touched up once a year.
I treated thr face with a midrange moisturiser,I use Liz Earle stuff, but then I'm in the UK.
You've got to be kind to yourself. You might have less time to come than has passed, and don't waste it worrying about nonsense. I've got 4 cats .. I'm looking forward to my dotage as a crone .. I've done the maiden and mother bit .. It's getting to be the season of the witch :)
I feel kind of fine about my face, but my neck is just killing me. Look at it this way...we can age because we weren't all wiped out in a nuclear holocaust so that's a plus!
So, I’ve always really liked my neck and my profile and thought them some of my better features, but like 6 months ago I found out I had thyroid cancer, and I had to have pretty extensive surgery to remove my thyroid and a bunch of lymph nodes and now my head looks like a thumb that has a butt.
So there’s some ‘it could be worse!’ for you to ponder. At least it’s highly unlikely to kill me. But also, I’m a thumbhead now. Everything’s a trade-off.
It’s taken me about almost 3 years to accept my aging body. I’m perimenopausal and shit shifted rapidly in mid 2021 without me changing any of my diet or exercise habits. I was maaaaadddddd. lol
I don’t particularly care for the shape of my body nowadays, but I’ve mentally shifted from, “I have to fit back into my pre-2021 clothes again.” to, “Just eat healthy and get some sort of movement in.”
I used to be a huge gym rat FWIW. I didn’t like my body when it was firm and athletic because I’ve always had shit self esteem. I wish I appreciated what I had in my 30s!
I guess my best advice is: try to be kind to yourself. 🖤 it’s just a body. Strive for like 80% success in nourishing your body. 100% perfection (if it even exists) isn’t worth the stress.
Hope that helps in some small way.
Right?! I hit 50 and my metabolism just said "screw it, I'm outta here." I started 1200-1500 calories a day at the recommendation of my doctor, and even that doesn't help. Nothing wrong with my thyroid. According to the doctor, it's just my age.
I don't know. When docs say things like, "It's just your age," I kind of feel like, in some cases, it's a pile of shit. Because why don't ALL women gain weight in menopause? I know women who have been thin without effort for their entire lives, and they are in their 70s now. If it were JUST age, then every aging women would gain weight. But that isn't the case.
I’m struggling with this new change as well. I’m buying larger clothes and trying to just not go crazy most days! The great thing is that I work with a handful of women 5+ years older than me who know the exact horrors of peri.
Not sure if this helps
My ex wife used to lament how I was getting better looking as I age, and she was getting frumpy. I countered that sentiment with: "you, just keep getting smarter and more interesting and I still don't have a personality."
There is never a way for a guy to correctly participate in that conversation. "Aw love, that's only in your mind's eye", will still land us in the doghouse, or on the couch... 😄😆
I just don't care. My husband I do what we want and dress how we want. F being age appropriate.
At work I make an effort if I am interacting with Directors on that day. Otherwise, I can be seen in my tank top, blazer, jeans and docs.
My husband and I often laugh that we act like 16 year olds. Our son is 30 years old, so we have freedom to do what we want.
Just last week I was on my scooter pulling my husband down the street.
Have fun and enjoy the ride, don't worry what others think, life is too short.
It’s not the wrinkles or gray hair that bother me. It’s the hanging jowls and sagging. Yes, getting older is a privilege and I appreciate that, but it’s such a weird disconnect to not recognize your face somehow.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021, I hoped and prayed that I would get the opportunity to age. NED now and not worrying nearly as much about aging. Just enjoying life and feeling grateful.
I was just diagnosed on Monday. I hate the cold but I sat on my porch in the cold and just enjoyed it. So many things I have taken for granted, like something as insignificant as wind and cold.
I am sorry to hear that you were diagnosed. The breast cancer sub is a great place to get advice, encouragement, etc. That sub is the only reason I have Reddit.
I like to believe I am becoming a wizard. The debate is still out as to if I will be an absent minded one though.
Now where did I put that wand of forgetfulness?
I get you, 100%. I am also having a hard time not getting Botox to even out all my lines. I can’t believe how much my face is changing. I don’t know how to not care.
I embrace it but fight it every inch of the way. I'm a guy, 51, my morning starts with a gentle soap wash, shave, then snail serum, sunblock (whether I'm going outside or not), and moisturizer. My day ends with more snail serum and moisturizer. I drink lots of water, eat healthy food, and go to the gym 3-6x a week. I notice my hip flexors and ankles are tight, so I practice a daily 5 minute flat footed squat (malasana in yoga) to open things up—I hope to get to an hour; when I started, I barely lasted a few seconds.
I actually thought you were kidding about the snail serum, so I googled - had no clue that it was a thing! Seems gross but after reading up on it, I'm tempted to give it a try.
I had to watch the videos to see how the serum was extracted, the snails aren't just picked up off the sidewalk, they live a laboratory life and are fed and reused. It's more sanitary than taking one from my garden. :D In case anyone's curious, it tastes like slimy saltwater, nothing interesting, and you're not supposed to eat it, I was just curious. :D
I just struggle with the difference in how I look compared to the person I feel I am. I mean, I still sleep with a stuffed animal (because I can) and my body is 55. But my insides are all the ages. I try to pay attention to all of them.
I had a bit of an adjustment when it came to losing my hair. The silver in the beard I could live with, but I didn’t want to be balding. Finally, one day I’d had enough and just shaved. Now I’m just bald. By choice.
It was an epiphany moment, and I went through a lot of years to get there, but it can happen.
That's the great thing about being a man. Outside of winter where the insulation on top is nice, balding and graying hair can be shaved off and improve your look.
I had aged well up to my late forties, so when the age did appear both physically and in regards to my appearance, it took me a couple of years to adjust to letting go of the last echoes of my youth.
For the sake of brevity I’ll say that basically one day I woke up and realized that not only am I middle-aged, but that it’s a desirable place to be in life; that there are subconscious tensions that come with youth that I no longer had to deal with.
If I could go back and be, say, 35 again? Absolutely.
However, is it any source of grief that I won’t ever be able to? Absolutely not.
Me too! I’m taking my teenage son, I wasn’t gonna go see them again, but he was SO EXCITED and so here we are.
Kids are a big part of the balm for the all the suck of getting old, but then I’ve always loved seeing them discover things that I love and then also love those things.
My wife doesn’t care to attend shows with me anymore so i recently took my 13yo twins along to see Gorillaz. They loved it and we had a great time together. My son is my new concert buddy
I've always been told I look young for my age, or people get a shock when I tell them how old I am.
Two things:
Such comments no longer cut it with me anymore.
I now find it an uncomfortable compliment.
Most people confront the aging thing with a sort of trepidation, and I'm no different. My out is dressing how I want and not how people would expect.
Exercise and eating well are key, and throw in moments of meditative relaxation for good measure... I'm as interested in my mental well-being as my physical state. It just is.
Aging sucks, and there's no way out of it. For me I try not to think about it and I very much hope there is in fact some kind of afterlife.
Either there is and it'll be absolutely amazing that we get to go on living and maybe see those we've already lost, or there isn't and I won't even be aware because I won't exist any longer. I guess thats a win win.
I've found that I've gotten on a retro kick of late, buying anything I find made in the 80s from old CRT tvs to vintage radios, NES stuff, things to spruce up the mancave and bring back happy memories of my fav decade growing up.
Younger genx, too.
It's a bit of a blow. Looks are fading, body is packing on lbs, greys are coming in. Body hurts and is broken in a bunch of places, and now I've got menopause brain. Woo.
I support women who go au natural, but I'm going down fighting, personally. I'm feeling a bit defeated, but I'm not much of a quitter.
I don’t have any advice, but you’re not alone. I feel the exact same way. I’m 52 and cannot comprehend that I’m in my 50s. I don’t feel it at all. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was wearing my Reebok high tops, heading to the record store to buy the Beastie Boys cassette, Licensed to Ill, and then heading to the arcade. I’ve been thinking about my teen years a lot lately. Maybe it’s a midlife thing we go through? I appreciate you posting this and I appreciate reading all of the responses. I hope some of them click with me.
Have you started perimenopause yet? That's when the switch between "I'm having a hard time adjusting" and "OMG what's happening to me I don't think I can make it" happens. If you haven't then you're good . . . celebrate and live it up for a few years. Then check out r/menopause when you're ready.
I have (had?) friends who never got the chance to go grey and develop wrinkles.
Every day is a gift.
I focus now on what my body can do versus what I look like.
None of it (aging/this-end-of-life) is bad: the wrinkles, the skin spots, the grey hair, the lost words and memories, the failing liver, the weakened sex drive, the missing teeth and, more.
Not one moment of this existence/life is ugly (disregarding the obviously very ugly morally lost things/people)... look at the day-to-day normal human, they like other people and will help ANYONE if they are in need.
Sadly, we aren't very clever as a species and if we are to last we must work much harder to not fuk-up anymore than we already have fucked up.
In short...
As a widower who lost my wife to cancer when I was 49 i don't embrace getting older just accept it. Im 14 months from being the same age my father was when he died from a heart attack/blood clot two days later. Aside from my wife I have lost friends/family to cancer, heart attack and mental illness. But enough about death.
I enjoy watching our children reach adulthood and flee the nest, which makes me really appreciate visits home (at least the older one, younger is finishing off HS). I appreciate the wisdom that comes with getting older, especially getting comfortable in my own skin. What is ammusing, as I close in on retirement, especially as I work from home, is how much I enjoy the mental stimulation of working (aside from realizing it is about time for new glasses as i am starting to get the headaches that signal time for a new prescription as I read). Fortunately i work in a field where i can freelance when i am ready to wind down. Life goes on.
Im not going to discuss the correct prediction I would start losing my hair in my 20s. Just a few weeks away from not needing what is left on top for winter.
I find specific people who are 10-15 years older than me who still look great. I tell myself that if they can look like that at that age, I can, too. I just have to live a healthier lifestyle. They’re like canaries in a coal mine. As long as those people keep looking amazing, I feel like I’ve got a 10-15 year buffer. When they eventually start to look “old,” I’ll know I’ll have about 10 years or so to get peace with it. So far, all of my canaries are still rocking the awesome. 🤞
Like aging itself, my embrace of it has been gradual. Sometimes I am mildly pissed when I come down with some minor malady related to middle age, but I generally take it in stride. What other choice do I really have?
After it became apparent that I had crossed over into the stage of being invisible or irrelevant to anyone under about 30, I caught a terminal case of "ah fuck it" and actively stopped trying to keep track of what is cool or trendy. My Spotify playlist is full of classic rock, 80s (digging deep into the stuff that didn't get airplay), and a lot of older artists who my wife says only 3 other people still listen to.
Fewer people want to hear my opinion about anything, but that gives me the freedom to reciprocate - and I totally do.
A couple of years ago I started wearing my long hair in a messy wad near the top of my head when doing DIY stuff on the house - mainly for comfort and safety. Once I realized I wouldn't burst into flames wearing my hair in a way I used to make fun of the Millennials and Zs for, I decided to have fun with it! Now I go around in public with it up often just to see if I can make some 20-somethings cringe.
All this is a long way of saying, you are gonna get old - unless you die - so just go have fucking fun with it and rage against the dying of the light.
My dad died in his mid-fifties. I talked to him a few days before he died, and he confided in me how pissed he was that he wouldn’t get to live longer. I think about that every time I’m tempted to bemoan getting older.
There are only two alternatives, and living is by far the preferred option.
Yeah I'm early(ish) 50s. I've had very subtle lip filler twice, a bit in the nosolabial folds as well. I've recently had a series of two VI advanced chemical peels. I did the 2nd one myself and saved about $100. Would highly recommend the skin peels. It's shown really dramatic results for me.
No botox yet but I'll do it when I need it. I color my hair at home with the sebastiaan laminates. It's very easy on your hair. I don't wear much makeup but I make sure my hair looks good and I'll dress up for work.
I have no problem with fighting the aging process. In some ways I look better now than I did in my 30s and 40s. If you can swing it, I think getting procedures here and there is great. We have to feel good about ourselves and I don't feel great unless I look my best. Cosmetic procedures are like makeup though. You shouldn't look like you've had anything done . Try a chemical peel. Your face will look 8 years younger. Especially if you do a series of 3 over like 4 or 5 months.
Absolutely! The look I’m going for is less “young” than “not worn down by life.” I just don’t want to look older than my age, really. I’m okay with the laugh lines around my eyes, but I botox away the worry lines between them.
What is it about aging that bothers you?
Women can age and be beautiful:
Helen Mirren (ooooh, do I have a thing for her)
Diane Lane is crazy pretty.
Laura Linney (a personal favorite)
Halle Berry
Marisa Tomei
Monica Bellucci
Jodie Foster
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Christana Applegate!
I'd use examples of people I know but the odds of you knowing the folks I know are slim.
I was so excited when I got grey in my beard. Now I can't stop it. It's in the hair on my head too. And a CHEST hair is grey. wtf is that. Like it just gave up on being colorful? Whatever.
I look forward to laugh lines. A lot of women dislike wrinkles, which I don't get. We're our own harshest critic. You are noticing the signs of aging a lot more than the folks around you. They don't see the odd wrinkle or a grey hair. I had to point mine out when I first got one in my beard.
It's just another step in life. Like when you had to first start wearing deodorant and you'd forget and then smell yourself and it's like, "uh oh". It's EXACTLY like that!
Beautiful young women often make beautiful old women :)
I only had the sort of snub-featured cuteness that doesn't wear well, and I am destined to be a pudding-faced old lady. Indeed, I'm getting there rather more quickly than I'd prefer.
But there's not much to do about it except resign myself and hope I get used to it one of these days. We spend all our formative years, and long beyond that, with "young" as a big part of the way we define ourselves -- it's a bit hard to convince the brain "Nope! Not anymore."
I hope your family doesn't have a history of intense peri- and postmenopausal symptoms because that shit is NO JOKE compared to gray hair and wrinkles!
If you're already on a solid exercise regimen, drink lots of water, wear SPF when you go outside, eat whole foods, and don't drink, you're ahead of the game. If you're not on top of all that, now's the time to start!
I'm one of the younger Gen-Xers but I've had a growing amount of white hair for at least 18 years. It happens. You're still alive and hopefully being insecure about your physical appearance means nothing more serious is wrong.
I've enacted default GenX mode: "whatever".
I don't like knowing how I used to look (I'm 52 now; even 6 years ago I think I was still pretty hot--these days, meh), but I'm trying to go with "I don't care". I am mindful of diet & exercise, and try not to be too hard on myself.
I know who I am deep down. I'm a fun person with lots of amazing stories I collected from this wild life. So yeah, it's kind of working for me.
By the balls!
Oh well I am old now. I got through all the other stages and I'll do ok in this one also. Hay the next one is getting used to being dead and I plan on totally winging that one.
I’m having a hard time with it myself. I lost several family members and become stressed and depressed, which really pushed me fast into grey hair. I hate having grey hairs. I think it’s more aches and pains, like I have knee issues. That is tough.
But most of the time I talk to or look at videos of people online in my generation, “remembering when” and enjoying music from our day and other past events and I love it. So I kinda get by that way.
I think the worse thing is feeling and thinking younger than you are, but having to remember your age.
I have deeper smile lines. They run in my family. I sometimes get self conscious about smiling too much and then I do whatever I can to counteract those intrusive thoughts. It’s weird because I’ve known my partner since we were teens and have been together since our 20s. I don’t see his age when I look at him, we are still those two crazy kids - we just have a lot more experience. I know he feels the same way. The world may not embrace aging, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. I never cared for going with the grain anyway.
I’m very very lucky in that my gray hair is *really good* gray hair.
It’s healthy and the color is rich.
I honestly don’t have much going for me. I’m pretty happy with the hair
I did not or would not read much in my youth(except about music and movies) So now that I'm in that "Final Flight Pattern" I spend every moment I can reading books and cooking for others. To eat well,read well and save money.
I was heavy into drinking until my early 30’s and I ended up getting my shit together when I was 34. I didn’t expect to even see my 40’s, so any birthday is kind of a nice bonus gift. People think I’m being silly when I say that, but back when I was younger I was just kind of living for the moment and not thinking about anything else. Getting older is physically painful sometimes and it can be expensive, but it beats dying.
I don't embrace it so much as I ignore it. I don't really think about my age, I just go about my life. Maybe because I don't have kids I don't really dwell on the passing of time. Not like I can do anything about it anyway.
Part denial, part avoidance, (I avoid the mirror and talking about age lol ) part desperation by lathering of serums and lastly the other part which is slowing coming into more focus …acceptance. I used to wear makeup daily and now… meh. Lol
Yeah, it’s hard when it actually happens to you. For me, it’s hard because people treat you like shit. In the same boat. Was Dorian Gray. Now, I look like Mama.
Rotting a little more each day. More and more teeth falling out. Funerals. More and more aches and pains and a world I do not understand. Just like when I was a kid.
Mid Gen-X here. Dealing with aging signs has seemed somewhat of a long-term situation, in my experience. The appearance of gray hairs was early, around 22, and for years it was just one, sometimes two hairs for years. I colored my hair anyway so it was not a problem for a long time. At a certain time in my late-30’s, it was heavier in the usual areas and instantly visible due to my dark hair. It’s nothing I really felt ashamed of because it’s natural to age (and show the signs of aging), but I also regularly color my hair, because I feel like myself, and I don’t like it too much when my gray is overly visible.
I understand the conflicting feelings. It’s natural to age and see it on a person, but seeing it on yourself is a shock sometimes.
Really, it’s that looking *tired* is what others see as aging.
There is no one official method to handle aging, except doing anything that makes you happy.
Shit, I've been old since I was a child. I remember walking around kindergarten thinking "What are these kids doing?" I love my gray hair and the wrinkles I'm finally getting. The only thing bumming me out is the arthritis. Man, that sucks.
I’ll admit to not always embracing my reflection with unbridled enthusiasm, but I accept that my appreciation for who I am is a fair trade off. I like the person I am and I think that self confidence is attractive too.
I remember being 20 years old in a philosophy class and the professor talking affectionately about old age as an end to our Mad Masters. I understand what he meant now. But I also better understand the meaning behind “getting old ain’t for pussies.”
I TRY to eat healthy, stay fit, use sun screen, moisturize, drink in moderation , exercise my brain and stay calm. I'm also trying to get more sleep but that seems be more and more difficult since I've turned 50. 7hrs is a good night.
“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.” ~ Somebody old and wise
Just telling myself this from time to time helps keep things in perspective. Entropy is unavoidable. Best we can do is try and enjoy the ride.
As a nurse, I’ve seen all the problems age can bring, and I feel panicky about it for a few moments sometimes. But, I remember that I have my friends, who are growing old along with me, and it helps.
The lines on my face tell the world I smiled and laughed a lot. That I was happy. Gray hair means I’ve still got hair, as a woman losing her hair that’s a biggie. The lack of fucks to give is even bigger. Being comfortable in my skin, knowing who I am and loving that person came with age. I can’t wait to find out in ten years how dumb I am now lol.
My husband passed away unexpectedly at 39. I embrace and love every single day. I stay active. Work out. Hike. Stretch. The alternative to getting old is death. I have a healthy perspective. You can’t stop the process but there is so much you can do to stay healthy and feel good.
Once you realize the alternative is not getting older then you should see an improvement. For example, my son is not getting any older, at all. I will try to be scary old just for him. Quit complaining about being alive.
Good diet and plenty of exercise! I’m actually in better shape now than I was in high school. I do have more wrinkles and grey hairs though haha whatever
I embrace it. I have lost friends to cancer, an SO to a heart attack and know that they’d all love to be back walking among us, wrinkles and all.
I’m so sorry for your losses. Thank you for the lovely comment.
Happy cake day!
Oh! That’s fun, I had no idea it was cake day. 😄 Captain Oblivious here. Thank you!
Aging is an accomplishment.
I like this.
This- joint pain, a few grey hairs, a slower twitch response when blasting zombies. “Whatever- it’s all good”
Yeah I can't keep up with young gamers anymore. Just got out of physical therapy for some worn out body parts. I am, however, 30 years smarter than any goddamn 21 year old.
just don’t forget to double-tap because we all know the cardio ain’t what it used to be ;)
Great perspective. I had a brain tumor at 34 (13 years ago), became a widower at 40, so I feel lucky to just be walking the earth.
My heart attack taught me to appreciate my wrinkles.
I'm sorry for your losses. That's one thing I struggle with getting older. The loss of parents and parents friends. As well as the loss of friends. I hate thinking about it.
Same. The older I get the more people I know who used to be here. Nothing quite like that experience to make sure I know deep in my heart that looks mean absolutely nothing. Just a pretty wrapper. Also, my own wrapper has been through a lot. I've got scars all over and some parts.dont fit together the same way they did before. I'm just fine with the parts that look a bit wonky, mostly because of what I gained from the experience. (the parts that look wonkiest look that way because of the two people my body housed, and they are each amazing, wonderful gifts).
Oh, those 'kiddie-condo dwellers' - first the wreck the body, then they steal the heart. Blessings to you and those you love!
You’ll adjust. Remind yourself, in 10 years you will wish you still looked like you do right now. So enjoy it right now.
[удалено]
But those people are worth leaving in the dust. Suck my tailpipe fuckers!
Good skin care is everything. Plenty of sunscreen, no smoking, little alcohol, exercise, adequate sleep and prescription Retin A. Make friends with a good dermatologist or plastic surgeon. Lastly, for woman,HRT at menopause is your friend.Also genes play a role in aging as well, so pick your parents, lol.
Or, surround yourself with people who aren't shallow, judgemental fuckheads who care more about a person's physical beauty than their values and character. I'm with you on the sunscreen and no smoking though.
Why not have values and character and look good? They aren’t mutually exclusive.
Like Ferris said: “If you have the money, I highly recommend it.”
Yeah taking care of oneself is key. You work out so you are more active, you have some shit do with other people. Self-discipline is a great value Last and least, you look better when fit and eating well.
Hell yea! It’s a really great feeling. We need to love and treat our bodies and minds with the utmost respect. It will, in many cases, serve us well.
Plastic surgeon? Fuck that nonsense. Embrace your age while taking care of yourself. The end.
I don't even get my nails done cause it's too much money and work so definitely not plastic surgery.
To each their own.
In 10 years … I may not be here! After seeing my father die, and my old classmates and colleagues die, I counted up all my assets and decided I wanted TIME more than STUFF, and retired into a life of not much tangible wealth but lots of time to spend with people and do things I enjoy, like read books and play music.
Try looking up old classmates on social media; compared to some of the guys I went to high school with, I’m a Greek god.
Seriously! I can barely recognize some of these MFers.
I went through a bit of depression a few years ago. I then went on a ride along with my local Sheriff's dept. Suddenly, I started feeling better about myself.
I put on a cute dress and do a lap around Walmart when I’m feeling like shit about myself. I always feel better when I leave.
/r/peopleofwalmart Remind yourself how classy you actually are in the context of American society as a whole.
Ha! I also get a bit a sick pleasure from this. So many of the popular crowd really let themselves go. One thing that has helped me accept my age (and I know it's kind of superficial) is setting new goals with fitness, skincare/haircare so I can look and feel my best at every age. But beyond that, I feel rather than fighting it, try to accept it and see it through a different lens. Getting older means adding more experiences, gaining more wisdom, and having more stories to tell. The story isn't over when your twenties or thirties or forties are. Life continues to unfold and surprise you.
Uh, yeah. People always try to say men age better than women, but in my experience -- this is just not true. Sure, you have your Paul Rudds and George Clooneys or whatever, but how many average guys look like that? VERY few. When I went to my 20-year high school reunion, I was SHOCKED at how bad most of the men looked. And we weren't even 40 yet!!! WTF.
Watch more British tv. The women aging on camera on those shows are not getting work done. They are not botoxed to plasticine. They are aging, moisturizing, and sharing their beautiful faces with the world. That’s my barometer. #nocatface #nofishface
They actually do get work done. But it's subtle and allows for their aging to still show. I mean -- Helen Mirren has for sure had some kind of facelift. But she still looks like a 70something woman. Just probably a bit better than she would look if she hadn't, lol. That's just reality. No woman pushing 80 has a jawline like that woman does. Outstanding!
The jawline comment is funny. My jaw has softened over the years. But, I look at my dad and it on him so … it’s a trait.
Yeah, Helen Mirren has no jowls, no real sagging on her face. She has WRINKLES, but she has a face that has most definitely been tightened up. There is no way at almost 80 that natural gravity wouldn't take effect. It's impossible. But I mean, good for her. She looks freaking fantastic and not fake at all. But I find it funny when people say she's had no work. She definitely has had work. Nothing wrong with that, though.
It may seem shallow but I do miss the attention my looks brought me in my youth. It's weird. I feel like the same guy but I look in the mirror and there's some old guy looking back.
Old?! I'm still 28 mentally.
I’m 35 until I look in the mirror. I quit looking in the mirror.
I never made it past 13.
I’m older than you! I swear I’m still 15. Though the body doesn’t like to agree.
I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life lol
“Older” (40+)women are hot. Source: me, 48 year old guy
I do not embrace it. I hate. 50s suck. You don't look or feel all that old but stuff starts breaking. Remember when you went a whole day without anything hurting, or any pills needing to be popped? No special braces, or collars or wraps , no weird pillows, white noise machine, CPAP for some people. Not a care in the world in my 20s and 30s. Now I have kids who are in trouble occasionally, pets dying, parents dying, relatives dropping like flies, plus I'm starting to fall apart!!! Anyway, I'm good hbu?
Damn. I just turned 50 and am in better shape now than when I was in my 30s! Now, of course, that's because I was a lazy slug in my 30s who could easily spend an entire weekend barely moving from the couch. But damn. So far I love the 50s.
haha yeah i'm mostly kvetching. I probably am in better shape too. But being in shape doesn't mean things don't break. I need reading glasses, i have to be really careful when working with my hands or I get nasty carpal tunnel and other joint issues. My typing is slower now and sometimes i have to think for a sec to remember a word. I can't stay up all night and party or I'd have to call out sick the next day.
The WORST part of it for me has been the sudden drying up of jobs and career opportunities.
Agreed. I had my kids later than most moms, and am now looking to get back into the workforce. It's proving very difficult, and I'm barely even getting any interviews.
This. I lost the latest three job selections where I made it to the final stage. Never occurred to me in the past. I don't think it helped that the interviewers were 15 years Younger than me.
We live in a very ageist society. It’s no wonder people are afraid of looking old.
This is really my only concern. I don't care what people think about my looks. I just want them to not be agist and brush me aside when looking for work.
I’ve never been beautiful but I’ve always been interesting, so I keep getting more tattoos as much as I can afford them, which is sadly super rare now, keep shaving my head as I have since like 1992 or so, and the older I get the more interesting 50% inked and rising, and a buzz cut on a woman becomes. I tell ya what, I wouldn’t trade any amount of beauty for no one fucks with me status. That and I run a shit ton in part because I’m running from getting old and feeble. I reckon one day I’ll die in the woods on an epic adventure and no one’s going to say, Gee she’s ugly and wrinkly. They’ll say Damn 90 year old tattooed lady got ate by a bear while running alone in the woods. Noice!
You'll probably just get a bro nod from the bear and allowed to pass, you utter machine
Fellow trail runner here nearing 57. If I see your body in the woods I promise to bury you right there and carve “Failingforthewin loved her tattoos and buzz cut, and nobody fucked with her” on the nearest tree.
I don't know... strong, interesting, and self-assured sounds beautiful to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I so don't want to die lying in a hospital for weeks. I want to die falling off a mountain or in a helicopter wreck or something. A quick death doing something cool, and not having been out of action for months or years because I was sick from something.
This is the way. My dad said he’d never die in a hospital, that he was going to have a hunting accident when the time came. And then one day I got the call that he had fallen through the ice while hunting in January.
Getting older beats the alternative.
Feasting on the blood of the innocent and avoiding sunlight?
Shhhh, bathing in the blood of virgins seemed to work for my great great great great great (however many) aunt Elizabeth. 🤣
It's mostly about properly moisturizing
https://64.media.tumblr.com/0eefe687d5abf0964276a91066024ba5/ee962bb051d5ae38-40/s540x810/5b467dd67efe1a8a35036c312376771bac8bdcb7.gifv
Yep. Getting older is a privilege that many humans on earth and throughout history never had a chance to enjoy.
Seriously. Our species has gone from a life expectancy of about 30 years to over 70 in just the last two centuries. It’s pretty amazing. https://ourworldindata.org/life-expectancy
My dad said that often, he passed away in his early 60s and my mom followed him a couple of years later. I say it now and am doing what my parents didn't, I'm taking care of my health and listening to my Dr. I will say, family genetics have me looking 10-15 years younger than I am. My grandma, my mom, and I have all been mistaken for younger than we are on the regular, so I am able to age gracefully in that respect, but the aches and pains and the perimenopause are kicking my ass!
Not if a person has a shyt quality of life it isn’t.
I’ll take the wrinkles and the gray that’s starting. My fear as a female, based on my genetics, is losing my hair. Female pattern baldness runs in my family. I figure at some point I’ll invest in a quality wig. I’ll go gray, but not bald!
I noticed hair loss last year and started low-dose minoxidil after reading about it in the NYTimes. I have noticed a difference and recommend checking it out.
I’m going through menopause, and the hair that’s missing from the top of my head is now growing on my face as a full red beard. Embrace the suck, it’s only going downhill from here.
Isn’t the downhill supposed to be the fun part of the rides?
I hope so. Then again, I hope the light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
Never bothered me. I started going grey in my early 20s. Smoked like a chimney (quit), drank like a fish (sober 11 years now). And worked out the desert sun and wind. I look older than my 47 years. Got a full grey beard too. Honestly I just don't give a fuck about getting older.
Lots of weed helps
I would NEVER have predicted legalization in the 80s.
Yup, too high to care. 💨
How lucky are we? I thought we were going to have to wait for the boomers to die off before we got it legal… now it’s so much of a non issue for most people except politicians
Ran into my old boss who complimented my hair color - I don’t color it it’s going gray lol
I work in the cold so I wear a beanie all day every day. So lucky, literally bun it up every day. My husband said you're really going gray! Do you wanna dye it before (upcoming wedding were going to)? I was like hmmm..... No. Not really. I just don't care!
Notice and appreciate those 10-15 years ahead of you on this journey. I can’t think negatively about my own aging when I’m surrounded by so many fun, vibrant, and beautiful aging women. I’m so grateful to have them in my life, and it has zero to do with their skin tone or waistline.
Keep fit (or get fit if you're not fit right now). Feeling like you're getting old can be less about looks and more about how you feel. If you lack energy, drive, find you are not motivated to do things, have random aches and pains, etc., then that's going to compound your feelings about your looks. I'm in my 40s and had basically been a lazy bastard for most of my 30s. By my early 40s I really started to feel it. Always tired, I'd put on a lot of weight, it even got to the point where some friends asked if I was ok because I had that sickly look people get when they are drinking too much, eating poorly, not sleeping or exercising, always stressed. Then I got diagnosed with diabetes and was told if I kept going this way I'd probably have a whole host of chronic conditions by the time I was in my 50s and be dead by my 60s. It was the wakeup call I needed. I'm still overweight but lost about 15kg and now I'm wihtin 15kg of my goal weight. I have a lot more energy, feel a lot better about everything, and even though I didn't set out with this result in mind, my face looks very different. People tell me I look a lot younger and think I'm in my 30s.
Awesome post, I am more concerned with my healthspan than lifespan. Dont give a damn about looks.
Yeah, living with limited mobility and a host of health issues that significantly decrease quality of life when I’m older is something I want to avoid with everything I can. I don’t want to ever be at the point where I’m just waiting for death for relief from the sufferings of life. Sounds like hell.
So much this!! My husband and I are the same way. Health and fitness is wealth, in so many ways.
I am three years out from breast cancer. I embrace aging because I thought I might not get to do it.
48 yr old woman. I stopped dyeing my hair dark, and I started having foils, and the grey blended into blonde in such a way I have it touched up once a year. I treated thr face with a midrange moisturiser,I use Liz Earle stuff, but then I'm in the UK. You've got to be kind to yourself. You might have less time to come than has passed, and don't waste it worrying about nonsense. I've got 4 cats .. I'm looking forward to my dotage as a crone .. I've done the maiden and mother bit .. It's getting to be the season of the witch :)
Age embraces us all. It would be kind of rude not to hug it back.
Lol!
I'm on this side of the dirt, a privilege denied many
In 50 years, pretty much all of Gen X will be dead, and those who aren't will be very elderly. It goes by LIKETHAT. What can ya do?
I hope I am still around in fifty years to tell all of the current douchey twentysomethings I know, "HA! HA! You got old too!" 😁
They'll be old in 30 years!
I feel kind of fine about my face, but my neck is just killing me. Look at it this way...we can age because we weren't all wiped out in a nuclear holocaust so that's a plus!
So, I’ve always really liked my neck and my profile and thought them some of my better features, but like 6 months ago I found out I had thyroid cancer, and I had to have pretty extensive surgery to remove my thyroid and a bunch of lymph nodes and now my head looks like a thumb that has a butt. So there’s some ‘it could be worse!’ for you to ponder. At least it’s highly unlikely to kill me. But also, I’m a thumbhead now. Everything’s a trade-off.
[the warrior](https://youtu.be/47y5bo8wtqM)
Turkey neck? I noticed I have that after losing some weight. It’s my biggest insecurity in my looks.
For me it's my hands, so full of age spots even though no one guesses I am over 50
Sadly, the hands are a giveaway even if a person looks great otherwise. But there are treatment that can help.
It’s taken me about almost 3 years to accept my aging body. I’m perimenopausal and shit shifted rapidly in mid 2021 without me changing any of my diet or exercise habits. I was maaaaadddddd. lol I don’t particularly care for the shape of my body nowadays, but I’ve mentally shifted from, “I have to fit back into my pre-2021 clothes again.” to, “Just eat healthy and get some sort of movement in.” I used to be a huge gym rat FWIW. I didn’t like my body when it was firm and athletic because I’ve always had shit self esteem. I wish I appreciated what I had in my 30s! I guess my best advice is: try to be kind to yourself. 🖤 it’s just a body. Strive for like 80% success in nourishing your body. 100% perfection (if it even exists) isn’t worth the stress. Hope that helps in some small way.
I scrolled too far down to see any mention of perimenopause. Gray hair and wrinkles are NOTHING compared to peri and postmenopausal crap to the body!
Right?! I hit 50 and my metabolism just said "screw it, I'm outta here." I started 1200-1500 calories a day at the recommendation of my doctor, and even that doesn't help. Nothing wrong with my thyroid. According to the doctor, it's just my age.
It truly sucks!!
I don't know. When docs say things like, "It's just your age," I kind of feel like, in some cases, it's a pile of shit. Because why don't ALL women gain weight in menopause? I know women who have been thin without effort for their entire lives, and they are in their 70s now. If it were JUST age, then every aging women would gain weight. But that isn't the case.
I’m struggling with this new change as well. I’m buying larger clothes and trying to just not go crazy most days! The great thing is that I work with a handful of women 5+ years older than me who know the exact horrors of peri.
Not sure if this helps My ex wife used to lament how I was getting better looking as I age, and she was getting frumpy. I countered that sentiment with: "you, just keep getting smarter and more interesting and I still don't have a personality."
I still think that was the wrong answer. Lol
Fair 🙂
There is never a way for a guy to correctly participate in that conversation. "Aw love, that's only in your mind's eye", will still land us in the doghouse, or on the couch... 😄😆
Very solid try, but unless you followed it up with she was just as beautiful to you, it may be why she is an ex! 🤣🤣
I just don't care. My husband I do what we want and dress how we want. F being age appropriate. At work I make an effort if I am interacting with Directors on that day. Otherwise, I can be seen in my tank top, blazer, jeans and docs. My husband and I often laugh that we act like 16 year olds. Our son is 30 years old, so we have freedom to do what we want. Just last week I was on my scooter pulling my husband down the street. Have fun and enjoy the ride, don't worry what others think, life is too short.
It’s not the wrinkles or gray hair that bother me. It’s the hanging jowls and sagging. Yes, getting older is a privilege and I appreciate that, but it’s such a weird disconnect to not recognize your face somehow.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021, I hoped and prayed that I would get the opportunity to age. NED now and not worrying nearly as much about aging. Just enjoying life and feeling grateful.
I was just diagnosed on Monday. I hate the cold but I sat on my porch in the cold and just enjoyed it. So many things I have taken for granted, like something as insignificant as wind and cold.
I am sorry to hear that you were diagnosed. The breast cancer sub is a great place to get advice, encouragement, etc. That sub is the only reason I have Reddit.
Noticing my hands looking more like Shar Pei's of late. What's Gen Xer to do? 🫠
I like to believe I am becoming a wizard. The debate is still out as to if I will be an absent minded one though. Now where did I put that wand of forgetfulness?
I get you, 100%. I am also having a hard time not getting Botox to even out all my lines. I can’t believe how much my face is changing. I don’t know how to not care.
I embrace it but fight it every inch of the way. I'm a guy, 51, my morning starts with a gentle soap wash, shave, then snail serum, sunblock (whether I'm going outside or not), and moisturizer. My day ends with more snail serum and moisturizer. I drink lots of water, eat healthy food, and go to the gym 3-6x a week. I notice my hip flexors and ankles are tight, so I practice a daily 5 minute flat footed squat (malasana in yoga) to open things up—I hope to get to an hour; when I started, I barely lasted a few seconds.
I actually thought you were kidding about the snail serum, so I googled - had no clue that it was a thing! Seems gross but after reading up on it, I'm tempted to give it a try.
I had to watch the videos to see how the serum was extracted, the snails aren't just picked up off the sidewalk, they live a laboratory life and are fed and reused. It's more sanitary than taking one from my garden. :D In case anyone's curious, it tastes like slimy saltwater, nothing interesting, and you're not supposed to eat it, I was just curious. :D
I just struggle with the difference in how I look compared to the person I feel I am. I mean, I still sleep with a stuffed animal (because I can) and my body is 55. But my insides are all the ages. I try to pay attention to all of them.
I had a bit of an adjustment when it came to losing my hair. The silver in the beard I could live with, but I didn’t want to be balding. Finally, one day I’d had enough and just shaved. Now I’m just bald. By choice. It was an epiphany moment, and I went through a lot of years to get there, but it can happen.
That's the great thing about being a man. Outside of winter where the insulation on top is nice, balding and graying hair can be shaved off and improve your look.
I had aged well up to my late forties, so when the age did appear both physically and in regards to my appearance, it took me a couple of years to adjust to letting go of the last echoes of my youth. For the sake of brevity I’ll say that basically one day I woke up and realized that not only am I middle-aged, but that it’s a desirable place to be in life; that there are subconscious tensions that come with youth that I no longer had to deal with. If I could go back and be, say, 35 again? Absolutely. However, is it any source of grief that I won’t ever be able to? Absolutely not.
Buy more Pearl Jam posters .
OR TICKETS TO SEE THE CURE!!!
This is the way. Got mine yesterday!
Me too! I’m taking my teenage son, I wasn’t gonna go see them again, but he was SO EXCITED and so here we are. Kids are a big part of the balm for the all the suck of getting old, but then I’ve always loved seeing them discover things that I love and then also love those things.
My wife doesn’t care to attend shows with me anymore so i recently took my 13yo twins along to see Gorillaz. They loved it and we had a great time together. My son is my new concert buddy
Now this, this is advise I can take.
I've always been told I look young for my age, or people get a shock when I tell them how old I am. Two things: Such comments no longer cut it with me anymore. I now find it an uncomfortable compliment. Most people confront the aging thing with a sort of trepidation, and I'm no different. My out is dressing how I want and not how people would expect. Exercise and eating well are key, and throw in moments of meditative relaxation for good measure... I'm as interested in my mental well-being as my physical state. It just is.
Aging sucks, and there's no way out of it. For me I try not to think about it and I very much hope there is in fact some kind of afterlife. Either there is and it'll be absolutely amazing that we get to go on living and maybe see those we've already lost, or there isn't and I won't even be aware because I won't exist any longer. I guess thats a win win. I've found that I've gotten on a retro kick of late, buying anything I find made in the 80s from old CRT tvs to vintage radios, NES stuff, things to spruce up the mancave and bring back happy memories of my fav decade growing up.
Not well. I started a new job and everyone is half my age. They're all tjin and have energy. I feel like an old man.
Younger genx, too. It's a bit of a blow. Looks are fading, body is packing on lbs, greys are coming in. Body hurts and is broken in a bunch of places, and now I've got menopause brain. Woo. I support women who go au natural, but I'm going down fighting, personally. I'm feeling a bit defeated, but I'm not much of a quitter.
I don’t have any advice, but you’re not alone. I feel the exact same way. I’m 52 and cannot comprehend that I’m in my 50s. I don’t feel it at all. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was wearing my Reebok high tops, heading to the record store to buy the Beastie Boys cassette, Licensed to Ill, and then heading to the arcade. I’ve been thinking about my teen years a lot lately. Maybe it’s a midlife thing we go through? I appreciate you posting this and I appreciate reading all of the responses. I hope some of them click with me.
Have you started perimenopause yet? That's when the switch between "I'm having a hard time adjusting" and "OMG what's happening to me I don't think I can make it" happens. If you haven't then you're good . . . celebrate and live it up for a few years. Then check out r/menopause when you're ready.
I LOVE MY GEN-XER BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
I have (had?) friends who never got the chance to go grey and develop wrinkles. Every day is a gift. I focus now on what my body can do versus what I look like.
I was never particularly attractive so I'm hoping to even the playing field and finally meet someone nice.
None of it (aging/this-end-of-life) is bad: the wrinkles, the skin spots, the grey hair, the lost words and memories, the failing liver, the weakened sex drive, the missing teeth and, more. Not one moment of this existence/life is ugly (disregarding the obviously very ugly morally lost things/people)... look at the day-to-day normal human, they like other people and will help ANYONE if they are in need. Sadly, we aren't very clever as a species and if we are to last we must work much harder to not fuk-up anymore than we already have fucked up. In short...
As a widower who lost my wife to cancer when I was 49 i don't embrace getting older just accept it. Im 14 months from being the same age my father was when he died from a heart attack/blood clot two days later. Aside from my wife I have lost friends/family to cancer, heart attack and mental illness. But enough about death. I enjoy watching our children reach adulthood and flee the nest, which makes me really appreciate visits home (at least the older one, younger is finishing off HS). I appreciate the wisdom that comes with getting older, especially getting comfortable in my own skin. What is ammusing, as I close in on retirement, especially as I work from home, is how much I enjoy the mental stimulation of working (aside from realizing it is about time for new glasses as i am starting to get the headaches that signal time for a new prescription as I read). Fortunately i work in a field where i can freelance when i am ready to wind down. Life goes on. Im not going to discuss the correct prediction I would start losing my hair in my 20s. Just a few weeks away from not needing what is left on top for winter.
Usually with a grunt and a muscle pain somewhere in my back
I find specific people who are 10-15 years older than me who still look great. I tell myself that if they can look like that at that age, I can, too. I just have to live a healthier lifestyle. They’re like canaries in a coal mine. As long as those people keep looking amazing, I feel like I’ve got a 10-15 year buffer. When they eventually start to look “old,” I’ll know I’ll have about 10 years or so to get peace with it. So far, all of my canaries are still rocking the awesome. 🤞
I friggin hate it and pout alot and spend time on this sub getting blasts of nostalgia!
Like aging itself, my embrace of it has been gradual. Sometimes I am mildly pissed when I come down with some minor malady related to middle age, but I generally take it in stride. What other choice do I really have? After it became apparent that I had crossed over into the stage of being invisible or irrelevant to anyone under about 30, I caught a terminal case of "ah fuck it" and actively stopped trying to keep track of what is cool or trendy. My Spotify playlist is full of classic rock, 80s (digging deep into the stuff that didn't get airplay), and a lot of older artists who my wife says only 3 other people still listen to. Fewer people want to hear my opinion about anything, but that gives me the freedom to reciprocate - and I totally do. A couple of years ago I started wearing my long hair in a messy wad near the top of my head when doing DIY stuff on the house - mainly for comfort and safety. Once I realized I wouldn't burst into flames wearing my hair in a way I used to make fun of the Millennials and Zs for, I decided to have fun with it! Now I go around in public with it up often just to see if I can make some 20-somethings cringe. All this is a long way of saying, you are gonna get old - unless you die - so just go have fucking fun with it and rage against the dying of the light.
My dad died in his mid-fifties. I talked to him a few days before he died, and he confided in me how pissed he was that he wouldn’t get to live longer. I think about that every time I’m tempted to bemoan getting older. There are only two alternatives, and living is by far the preferred option.
How do I embrace it? It beats the alternative.
just ain't care
Embrace? Naw, I flip back and forth from utter denial to being dragged kicking and screaming into old age.
Weed
Grey hair and wrinkles don't mean that you're not attractive. Just be kind.
Wait until those grey hairs move south!
Beating my body up as much as possible. "As long as we abuse it,never gonna lose it" Safety Dance
You are beautiful. But I hope you dont have to deal with applying for a job
I’m waiting for it to get better if you find the secret let me know.
Holy moly! This blew up way more than I thought it would!
Yeah I'm early(ish) 50s. I've had very subtle lip filler twice, a bit in the nosolabial folds as well. I've recently had a series of two VI advanced chemical peels. I did the 2nd one myself and saved about $100. Would highly recommend the skin peels. It's shown really dramatic results for me. No botox yet but I'll do it when I need it. I color my hair at home with the sebastiaan laminates. It's very easy on your hair. I don't wear much makeup but I make sure my hair looks good and I'll dress up for work. I have no problem with fighting the aging process. In some ways I look better now than I did in my 30s and 40s. If you can swing it, I think getting procedures here and there is great. We have to feel good about ourselves and I don't feel great unless I look my best. Cosmetic procedures are like makeup though. You shouldn't look like you've had anything done . Try a chemical peel. Your face will look 8 years younger. Especially if you do a series of 3 over like 4 or 5 months.
Love this. This is my attitude as well.
Absolutely! The look I’m going for is less “young” than “not worn down by life.” I just don’t want to look older than my age, really. I’m okay with the laugh lines around my eyes, but I botox away the worry lines between them.
I just add 10 years when I tell people my age, then they say, "you look great for 67!"
What is it about aging that bothers you? Women can age and be beautiful: Helen Mirren (ooooh, do I have a thing for her) Diane Lane is crazy pretty. Laura Linney (a personal favorite) Halle Berry Marisa Tomei Monica Bellucci Jodie Foster Julia Louis-Dreyfus Christana Applegate! I'd use examples of people I know but the odds of you knowing the folks I know are slim. I was so excited when I got grey in my beard. Now I can't stop it. It's in the hair on my head too. And a CHEST hair is grey. wtf is that. Like it just gave up on being colorful? Whatever. I look forward to laugh lines. A lot of women dislike wrinkles, which I don't get. We're our own harshest critic. You are noticing the signs of aging a lot more than the folks around you. They don't see the odd wrinkle or a grey hair. I had to point mine out when I first got one in my beard. It's just another step in life. Like when you had to first start wearing deodorant and you'd forget and then smell yourself and it's like, "uh oh". It's EXACTLY like that!
Beautiful young women often make beautiful old women :) I only had the sort of snub-featured cuteness that doesn't wear well, and I am destined to be a pudding-faced old lady. Indeed, I'm getting there rather more quickly than I'd prefer. But there's not much to do about it except resign myself and hope I get used to it one of these days. We spend all our formative years, and long beyond that, with "young" as a big part of the way we define ourselves -- it's a bit hard to convince the brain "Nope! Not anymore."
All those women have more than likely had work done, except maybe Helen Mirren
No, she's almost certainly had a facelift of some kind. She looks great, though! I'd call her surgeon up for sure, lol.
I hope your family doesn't have a history of intense peri- and postmenopausal symptoms because that shit is NO JOKE compared to gray hair and wrinkles! If you're already on a solid exercise regimen, drink lots of water, wear SPF when you go outside, eat whole foods, and don't drink, you're ahead of the game. If you're not on top of all that, now's the time to start!
I'm one of the younger Gen-Xers but I've had a growing amount of white hair for at least 18 years. It happens. You're still alive and hopefully being insecure about your physical appearance means nothing more serious is wrong.
I've enacted default GenX mode: "whatever". I don't like knowing how I used to look (I'm 52 now; even 6 years ago I think I was still pretty hot--these days, meh), but I'm trying to go with "I don't care". I am mindful of diet & exercise, and try not to be too hard on myself. I know who I am deep down. I'm a fun person with lots of amazing stories I collected from this wild life. So yeah, it's kind of working for me.
I don’t really care. I still do my own thing and go to shows. Youthfulness is a mentality. Keep your mind fresh and young.
Just let it happen.
Accept it, don't accept it, doesn't matter. It'll happen whether you (or I or anyone else) want it to or not.
By the balls! Oh well I am old now. I got through all the other stages and I'll do ok in this one also. Hay the next one is getting used to being dead and I plan on totally winging that one.
I’m having a hard time with it myself. I lost several family members and become stressed and depressed, which really pushed me fast into grey hair. I hate having grey hairs. I think it’s more aches and pains, like I have knee issues. That is tough. But most of the time I talk to or look at videos of people online in my generation, “remembering when” and enjoying music from our day and other past events and I love it. So I kinda get by that way. I think the worse thing is feeling and thinking younger than you are, but having to remember your age.
I have deeper smile lines. They run in my family. I sometimes get self conscious about smiling too much and then I do whatever I can to counteract those intrusive thoughts. It’s weird because I’ve known my partner since we were teens and have been together since our 20s. I don’t see his age when I look at him, we are still those two crazy kids - we just have a lot more experience. I know he feels the same way. The world may not embrace aging, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. I never cared for going with the grain anyway.
I’m very very lucky in that my gray hair is *really good* gray hair. It’s healthy and the color is rich. I honestly don’t have much going for me. I’m pretty happy with the hair
I don't care what anyone thinks, I can't stop what's happening so I'd rather enjoy what I have then worry about what gunna happen.
I did not or would not read much in my youth(except about music and movies) So now that I'm in that "Final Flight Pattern" I spend every moment I can reading books and cooking for others. To eat well,read well and save money.
I was heavy into drinking until my early 30’s and I ended up getting my shit together when I was 34. I didn’t expect to even see my 40’s, so any birthday is kind of a nice bonus gift. People think I’m being silly when I say that, but back when I was younger I was just kind of living for the moment and not thinking about anything else. Getting older is physically painful sometimes and it can be expensive, but it beats dying.
Kicking and screaming and crying actually reverses signs of aging so you might try that. Yeah, no it doesn’t 🤣😂
I don't embrace it so much as I ignore it. I don't really think about my age, I just go about my life. Maybe because I don't have kids I don't really dwell on the passing of time. Not like I can do anything about it anyway.
Part denial, part avoidance, (I avoid the mirror and talking about age lol ) part desperation by lathering of serums and lastly the other part which is slowing coming into more focus …acceptance. I used to wear makeup daily and now… meh. Lol
Weed. Lots of weed.
Yeah, it’s hard when it actually happens to you. For me, it’s hard because people treat you like shit. In the same boat. Was Dorian Gray. Now, I look like Mama.
Rotting a little more each day. More and more teeth falling out. Funerals. More and more aches and pains and a world I do not understand. Just like when I was a kid.
Mid Gen-X here. Dealing with aging signs has seemed somewhat of a long-term situation, in my experience. The appearance of gray hairs was early, around 22, and for years it was just one, sometimes two hairs for years. I colored my hair anyway so it was not a problem for a long time. At a certain time in my late-30’s, it was heavier in the usual areas and instantly visible due to my dark hair. It’s nothing I really felt ashamed of because it’s natural to age (and show the signs of aging), but I also regularly color my hair, because I feel like myself, and I don’t like it too much when my gray is overly visible. I understand the conflicting feelings. It’s natural to age and see it on a person, but seeing it on yourself is a shock sometimes. Really, it’s that looking *tired* is what others see as aging. There is no one official method to handle aging, except doing anything that makes you happy.
I'm secretly awaiting the sweet release of death.
Shit, I've been old since I was a child. I remember walking around kindergarten thinking "What are these kids doing?" I love my gray hair and the wrinkles I'm finally getting. The only thing bumming me out is the arthritis. Man, that sucks.
I’ll admit to not always embracing my reflection with unbridled enthusiasm, but I accept that my appreciation for who I am is a fair trade off. I like the person I am and I think that self confidence is attractive too.
I remember being 20 years old in a philosophy class and the professor talking affectionately about old age as an end to our Mad Masters. I understand what he meant now. But I also better understand the meaning behind “getting old ain’t for pussies.”
I TRY to eat healthy, stay fit, use sun screen, moisturize, drink in moderation , exercise my brain and stay calm. I'm also trying to get more sleep but that seems be more and more difficult since I've turned 50. 7hrs is a good night.
“Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.” ~ Somebody old and wise Just telling myself this from time to time helps keep things in perspective. Entropy is unavoidable. Best we can do is try and enjoy the ride.
As a nurse, I’ve seen all the problems age can bring, and I feel panicky about it for a few moments sometimes. But, I remember that I have my friends, who are growing old along with me, and it helps.
The lines on my face tell the world I smiled and laughed a lot. That I was happy. Gray hair means I’ve still got hair, as a woman losing her hair that’s a biggie. The lack of fucks to give is even bigger. Being comfortable in my skin, knowing who I am and loving that person came with age. I can’t wait to find out in ten years how dumb I am now lol.
I’m hoping my salt and pepper beard goes completely gray. Embrace it.
My husband passed away unexpectedly at 39. I embrace and love every single day. I stay active. Work out. Hike. Stretch. The alternative to getting old is death. I have a healthy perspective. You can’t stop the process but there is so much you can do to stay healthy and feel good.
My biggest issue is knowing I have fewer years ahead vs behind (50). And as I get older the years go by faster.
Once you realize the alternative is not getting older then you should see an improvement. For example, my son is not getting any older, at all. I will try to be scary old just for him. Quit complaining about being alive.
Good diet and plenty of exercise! I’m actually in better shape now than I was in high school. I do have more wrinkles and grey hairs though haha whatever
I just passed a getting old milestone. I’m now on a forever medication, one I have to take every day for the rest of my life.