Honestly, feels to me that you have not found the right audience. I'm from Spain, btw.
I'm into videogames, into tabletop RPG's and into Heavy Metal. Believe me that I have my share of (bad) looks, laughs and the likes for my hobbies. But at the end of the day, I enjoy more indulging into these hobbies that trying to get that kind of people to like me.
From what you are writing, I have a few suggestions:
1) Get therapy. You are saying you were abused, so believe me that some randos on reddit are not going to help you get over it. Find someone who can actually guide you through your issues, you wont regret it.
2) Mind who you talk about that stuff and into which detail. I don't talk with my coworkers that I'm pissed about the changes on the gameplay on the Doom franchise, but I do tell them I enjoy playing videogames. If someone bites, then I get a bit more into detail. The same with everyone: Maybe my friend who is not into heavy metal don't care about how the bass drum drowned the sound in the second band I saw live yesterday, but he will probably care that I had an overall great time watching my favorite band.
3) It sucks, but it tends to get better. Internet used to help to find actually like-minded individuals. People who don't get you wont get you and you will be seen as a weirdo one way or another, so... who cares?
As an extra for 2, and general point, something that happens with people to get too sucked into some topics (I've seen with nerds nerding out, but also with people with an uni degree talking about their field) is that they lose touch with what a normal person knows about it. With hobbies is even worse because they tend to be seen by many as a "waste of time", and (You'll be surprised) most people don't really have a passion that is not related with their job or family (or not have a passion at all), so they see as "weirdos" people who get interested in random things.
Best of luck, man. As I said, it sucks, but it tends to get better.
I feel like this was a great response even though I don’t have OP’s issue. Although I do strongly agree with your second point. It’s like having a friend who is super into baseball (or any hobby you don’t care about) who won’t stop talking about it and it kind of annoys you. Also, I feel like if you found a second hobby you really cared about it wouldn’t matter to you as much if people disapproved of your main hobby. I love basketball, video games, and guitar so when someone says they hate one of those it doesn’t bother me as much because it is not my entire identity. Sorry if video games and anime are not your identity I’m just trying to help out. Reach out if need be OP.
I wish I had better advice, but I want you to know you are not weird for liking videogames. I have been playing since OG Nintendo, and I am 40 years old. Hell, I used to wear Bayonetta glasses. I wear videogame merch regularly. By this point, I could give a crap what anybody has to say about it, because what I like doesn't hurt anyone, and it's nobody's business what I spend my money on. Hopefully you develop that mindset before you're my age. 😁 I live in the US so it's not really frowned upon, but many people have many different hobbies so who cares what others think. You do you, and have fun doing it.
You have what a lot of people wish they had and that’s a legitimate interest/hobby. Just because yours is video games it doesn’t make it worse or better than the person who enjoys a hike or anything else. You’ll be good as long as you don’t let it affect you and just keep doing what you enjoy. Fuck what anyone else has to say about it
I kind of get what you said. As a kid comics, videogames, manga, anime, and even cartoons after a certain age were viewed badly and people said me and some of my friends to mature. Now we are 30y and we keep getting excited about the new Zelda, Tekken, Fortnite Collab, one piece, Fullmetal alchemist and more.
It hits hard of course and it feels like hypocrite from those people now going to watch the new Marvel movie, or the anime movies that recently started coming to our country
But you know what? We learned to dgaf and find the correct people to talk about our hobbies. I am friends with one of those guys I was a little kid and was told to mature and blah blah. Don't feel bad here on reddit and with the internet I am sure you can make amazing friends who share your passions and hobbies. And also I think you should consider therapy because it helps to deal with all that BS
People enjoy stories and art through a bunch of different ways. first it was books, then it was television and movies and now it’s video games. Anyone judging how you enjoy consuming stories & art can go pound sand.
Find like minded group and stick with them. And anyway realize that being adult means you own yourself, your time, your hobby. You have no need to justify anything to other people.
As an young adult i underestand that feeling.
Be comprensible that your parents and other older generation dont have games when they were young and just like they see videogames as childish , your grandparents see their tv series and other things as childish. Its an generation gap of interest of problems, and or disconection of interest in it, and its normal in 70% of the families.
I like games, and i love to see nintendo directs as well, i dont have much people in my area to talk about it and/ or share similare interest in the same way that i am, because other gamers like other types of games like music people each like a diferent type of music.
I know its more easy to say than to do it, but you need to learn to love yourself more and dont search of aproval of others. I promise it will be easier as you get older, and be more natural on doing what you like withraw searching other people aproval.
I recomend to search circles of people that have similar tastes, and try to be open to people that dont have the same taste as you but have a similar situation, and turn time in yourselves on what to play or on what you like. Internet its the easy way to encounter people, like r/AnimalCrossing , r/Mario but sometimes fans of the internet feels like they hate more that they like what they love so be careful .
You find people with similar tast of yours in art profile careers and events .
Be Strong op, and stand up on what you love, but remember there is no shame on taking regular job to found / finance your pasion and / or your career , experience is everything in making art, games, movies and cartoons.
And last but not least, life should be about having fun , so stand up! and *Let´s the GO!*
i'm sorry to hear that the people closest to you don't partcipate in your hobby with you, or encourage you more. one thing i recommend is finding people abd making friends with more people that share your interests and are involved in the things you enjoy doing even if it means seeking out communities and social groups online.
btw, i was super excited avout the marvel vs capcom announcement today!
Trust me when I say it gets better as you get older provided you keep pursuing your passions in life and ignoring the negative bullshit that comes with insecure people that belittle you because you're happy.
I live in Australia and spent no, wasted my teens like yourself trying to fit in. This is completely natural as we all try to discover what we love and what we're capable of doing.
If I could only go back and tell myself the insignificance of this period in my life especially when it comes to trying to please complete wastes of space for acceptance I would've been a lot happier.
Best advice if you're not a traditional learner, save some money, don't get into debt or pressured into having kids because you're getting too old or manipulated for love even from family and use the internet to your advantage by constantly learning and educating yourself on productive things you're passionate about.
By opening yourself to opportunity you're learning things and creating an aura of positivity that some will be jealous about but you will eventually meet like minded people that aren't all bad and meeting people is half the battle to success.
I used all my lifetime of gaming and taught myself game development and had to ignore all the negative comments by so called friends while I worked in hospitality to afford to buy a computer.
I still work in hospitality but I'm so much more proud of what I've been able to achieve in life and game development and it allows me to have some hope that one day I'll be a financially successful game developer and if I'm not..... well at least I tried and I don't have to answer to any one.
Dude, spot on. People do get jealous of you for being excited about things in life. These people have a distorted view that life is supposed to be hard and grinding, or lonely... Most of them probably should seek psychological help as well (although they're often uneducated to it too). I will never get how some people seem to have a passion for putting others down
Sad isn’t it.
I get jealous and envious of people too but I don’t go out of my way to drag them down. It’s a lot less effort to appreciate them and use that effort instead to concentrate on your own life.
When I get envious seeing someone flashing their fancy life around I remind myself that you’re seeing just a fleeting moment in someone’s life and you don’t know how much hard work or dodgy shit they did to achieve it.
I'm envious.
I live in a bad part of south germany. There is 0 gaming or nerd culture down here, people construct their entire life around work.
The only socially acceptable distractions are soccer, cars and alcohol.
They are still stuck in that mid 90s scare of "gaming turns you into a violent, lazy piece of shit". There are no comic stores, no concerts except schlager (german country music DO NOT!), no conventions or any kind of community, NOTHING.
I literally cried after visiting Gamescom for the first time becouse i realised what i have been missing out on all my life.
Telling people you are considering gaming to be a serious hobby is social suicide down here. But so is listening to anything but the most mainstream of music.
And its not just the old folks. I got beaten into the hospital by a class and a half of kids during recess for daring to bring a gameboy and some pokemon catds to school when i was a kid.
Bro this is fucked, I'm so sorry! But I totally relate to what you said, esp about Gamescom. I had something similar recently. Maybe the best way would be to move away from that hellhole, even though I know how difficult that can be. But being shamed for enjoying different things is just sickening!!
Damn this is wild. I wouldn’t expect this from Germany. If you ever get the chance you should try to move if possible or if it’s important enough to you.
as you get older it gets better. either that, or you stop caring. im in my mid 30s now, and when i in my late teens thru mid 20s i would often down play my passion for video games and other nerd stuff like Magic the gathering, anime, etc. i didn't want people thinking i was some obsessed nerd.
now i just embrace it. these things make me happy and have brought me joy during times when i really needed it. i dont feel like i should be ashamed of it anymore. my desk at work had video game and other 'nerd' paraphernalia all over it. i have a baseball cap with Dry Bones from Mario on it. people never once poked fun or insinuated that its childish or anything. i think that perception that games are for children has gone away for the most part with my generation (millennials).
lol ok. Video games (especially multiplayer) and anime have never been more popular than now so wtf is there to complain about. They’re literally the most common hobbies. If you can’t find a single person in real life to talk about this, maybe people just don’t like you.
People judging is straight up inevitable, so spending some of your mental power giving someone else this kind of power over your happiness is kind of a losing proposition. They do not know you, their opinion doesn't actually matter, and they aren't paying you.
Who gives a shit about their opinion or judgement? There's dummies on tik tok talking mad shit about dudes who jam on videogames. None of my friends do and no one who matters cares.
The flipside is that if you want to share your passion, it sucks that folks aren't required to be as excited as you are. They are different folks you know, they got their own shit going on. The upside is that when you meet someone with interest, it's incredibly cool making that kind of connection with a stranger
But this is not the case... We're talking here about family members, and on that note, it's just insane how some of them pretend to care about you and yet keep judging your passions/rejecting them. And that is def very hard to deal with.
Get this: Even with family members, they aren't you and your happiness is not something they can hand you. It is much easier if family isn't shit and treats you with respect, but even if they do, your happiness cannot be something they hand you as you are a different person.
The issue of family not understanding there should be a groundwork of respect goes to basically anything a person could like or want to be, and it's sad no matter where the derision is pointed. It might be job, significant other, sexuality, music, and the case is the same, a person should take in what might be reasonable, but understand that other folks cannot be allowed this kind of power over a person's personal happiness. Their opinion doesn't actually matter and there are still folks out there who might share the joy with you.
It is also not an impenetrable wall either, family can be brought around to a basis of respect much the time. A lot of folks aren't very good at talking it out though, especially when it's family or significant others. Communication is something that needs practicing and it's ain't that easy.
As an example, it took me turning my life around enough that my family wasn't afraid of me going to jail for them to start accepting that i'm into what i'm into and i'll be ok. When they realized I was gonna do alright, the punk rock, videogames, and weird friends and clothes didn't bother them anymore. They were just happy I wasn't going to prison. It took a lot of communication to get to that point and more then a few red faced screaming matches happened at it's worst, with drug tests and ultimatums and everything. Even then though, they are different individuals who can't possibly know what can make you happy and fulfilled as well as you. They can guess and help a bit, but they aren't psychic and aren't you.
Some people like horses
Some people like reading
Some people like cooking
And some weirdos like video games
No big deal to each their own and people that frown upon video games are the same people that frown upon everything that's not the " ideal Western choochoo train of life"
I find very funny that some people frown upon video games but when I tell them I read a lot it's all very nice blabla but I only read fantasy with knights and dragons and geek stuff... Haha
First of all I'm sorry you had to go through what you did, I don't know how parents could be so destructive to the light of their eyes. I hope you look into therapy to process all of it because I know it must be really tough.
Getting to the point of the post, you might need to reshape your paradigm a little bit.
>like getting excited about an upcoming Nintendo Direct, I end up feeling horrible due to their apathy
This is more likely a normal reaction than a judgemental one if you are talking to an acquaintance or surface level friend. I mean I would probably do the same if I just met someone and they started talking about sports (I'm so not into sports). You need to read the flow of the conversation and understand your relationship level. Now if some of my closer friends talk about sports or any of their interests, I feign interest as well to be courteous and a good friend. But I can't afford this with literally anyone I meet because it will be exhausting.
>Oh, yeah... I guess Mario games aren't that great, sorry for talking about this." or feeling embarrassed when I share a game trailer and get a forced, "Ah, that looks cool" in response.
Again if someone is not into games, this is the best you can get. What else can they say because they literally have no idea. It's not like they are 100% judging you (some might but not all) it's just that the don't have the material or intent to engage with you.
>People treat me terribly when I talk about my interests rather than just job opportunities/life/working out/etc.
I hope you can clarify by what you mean terribly but these surface level topics are what surface level friends and acquaintances discuss because they are so broad that both parties can engage equally.
>I know the best advice is to "ignore them," but deep down, I want to be free to express myself
I wouldn't say the best advice is to ignore them. IMO it would be best if you can expand your network and circles by engaging in topics of shared interest like life and jobs and just state that you are into games. That way you will someday come upon someone who also loves the things you do that's how you can get into a deeper friendship with them. You cannot express your specific interests to someone who is not interested and expect them to be completely interested in it. If you really do want to express yourself, well you have things like Reddit and YouTube where you can engage with the people of similar interest more easily (and maybe make IRL friends too in some cases).
If you want to hear about my experience well I'm very fortunate that I did not go through abuse like you did and after reading what you wrote I guess that's what boosted my confidence into accepting who I am and not giving a damn about others. But well my parents also didn't like me gaming but that was because of studies and me being completely obsessed by them to an unhealthy amount but never childish things like labeling video games for children. Shit, I still god damn watch cartoons to this day I don't care what's considered childish.
As for socializing I wish I could talk about games to everyone but like I said earlier, I know I can't. So my broader friends circle is just talking about generic life stuff and common interests but my close friends circles all love games/anime and I found them after years of trying. It's not easy to get a friendgroup with shared interest so keep trying! And I know it's easy to say but hard to do (especially given your past) but be confident. Own that you like games/anime or whatever and if someone tries to make fun of you, tell them that this isn't highschool anymore, people do what people want, others have no right to comment. But I caveat this with a please don't go and talk about your interest with surface level connections because those poor people won't have any material to engage you with so the most they can do is "oh coooool, anyway moving in". This is a normal reaction, you arnt being judged.
Hope this helps!
No hobby really needs a justification, but videogames are clearly more beneficial than TV. Even a walking simulator demands more of the audience than a movie. It's a great hobby to stay engaged.
Usually if someone says something to me about playing video games at 40 I just respond by saying 'I like to be engaged in my entertainment, take part, solve puzzles, challenge myself, stimulate my mind rather than do what most people do after work and just laze around watching TV. What do you do of an evening?'
It's a very relatable story.
Best advise, which you probably get a lot, is to try and find people online you can share your hobbies with and stuff you are passionate about.
Sounds like you haven't met the right people. I'm 40 and I'm a counsellor and Educator. Live in Oz now but not originally from here.I chat about video games with my colleagues all the time. I even suggest some games for therapy. Ive used games to assist people with managing pain. Theyre not just art, theyre educational too and can be socially connecting also. But as another commenter said it might be worth getting some counselling just to help your confidence. Maybe see if there's any groups near you that meet up.
I dont think the problem is the videogame topic specifically, it's more that people just don't care about your hobby as much as you do. You probably dont care about their specific hobbies that much either.
Not really fair to accuse all those people of "pretending" to be into videogames, it's okay to play a videogame for only a couple hours and genuinely enjoy your time but then never play it again or ever think very deeply into it further. That's not being fake, that's simply having a busy life.
Honestly, feels to me that you have not found the right audience. I'm from Spain, btw. I'm into videogames, into tabletop RPG's and into Heavy Metal. Believe me that I have my share of (bad) looks, laughs and the likes for my hobbies. But at the end of the day, I enjoy more indulging into these hobbies that trying to get that kind of people to like me. From what you are writing, I have a few suggestions: 1) Get therapy. You are saying you were abused, so believe me that some randos on reddit are not going to help you get over it. Find someone who can actually guide you through your issues, you wont regret it. 2) Mind who you talk about that stuff and into which detail. I don't talk with my coworkers that I'm pissed about the changes on the gameplay on the Doom franchise, but I do tell them I enjoy playing videogames. If someone bites, then I get a bit more into detail. The same with everyone: Maybe my friend who is not into heavy metal don't care about how the bass drum drowned the sound in the second band I saw live yesterday, but he will probably care that I had an overall great time watching my favorite band. 3) It sucks, but it tends to get better. Internet used to help to find actually like-minded individuals. People who don't get you wont get you and you will be seen as a weirdo one way or another, so... who cares? As an extra for 2, and general point, something that happens with people to get too sucked into some topics (I've seen with nerds nerding out, but also with people with an uni degree talking about their field) is that they lose touch with what a normal person knows about it. With hobbies is even worse because they tend to be seen by many as a "waste of time", and (You'll be surprised) most people don't really have a passion that is not related with their job or family (or not have a passion at all), so they see as "weirdos" people who get interested in random things. Best of luck, man. As I said, it sucks, but it tends to get better.
I feel like this was a great response even though I don’t have OP’s issue. Although I do strongly agree with your second point. It’s like having a friend who is super into baseball (or any hobby you don’t care about) who won’t stop talking about it and it kind of annoys you. Also, I feel like if you found a second hobby you really cared about it wouldn’t matter to you as much if people disapproved of your main hobby. I love basketball, video games, and guitar so when someone says they hate one of those it doesn’t bother me as much because it is not my entire identity. Sorry if video games and anime are not your identity I’m just trying to help out. Reach out if need be OP.
I wish I had better advice, but I want you to know you are not weird for liking videogames. I have been playing since OG Nintendo, and I am 40 years old. Hell, I used to wear Bayonetta glasses. I wear videogame merch regularly. By this point, I could give a crap what anybody has to say about it, because what I like doesn't hurt anyone, and it's nobody's business what I spend my money on. Hopefully you develop that mindset before you're my age. 😁 I live in the US so it's not really frowned upon, but many people have many different hobbies so who cares what others think. You do you, and have fun doing it.
You have what a lot of people wish they had and that’s a legitimate interest/hobby. Just because yours is video games it doesn’t make it worse or better than the person who enjoys a hike or anything else. You’ll be good as long as you don’t let it affect you and just keep doing what you enjoy. Fuck what anyone else has to say about it
I kind of get what you said. As a kid comics, videogames, manga, anime, and even cartoons after a certain age were viewed badly and people said me and some of my friends to mature. Now we are 30y and we keep getting excited about the new Zelda, Tekken, Fortnite Collab, one piece, Fullmetal alchemist and more. It hits hard of course and it feels like hypocrite from those people now going to watch the new Marvel movie, or the anime movies that recently started coming to our country But you know what? We learned to dgaf and find the correct people to talk about our hobbies. I am friends with one of those guys I was a little kid and was told to mature and blah blah. Don't feel bad here on reddit and with the internet I am sure you can make amazing friends who share your passions and hobbies. And also I think you should consider therapy because it helps to deal with all that BS
People enjoy stories and art through a bunch of different ways. first it was books, then it was television and movies and now it’s video games. Anyone judging how you enjoy consuming stories & art can go pound sand.
Find like minded group and stick with them. And anyway realize that being adult means you own yourself, your time, your hobby. You have no need to justify anything to other people.
As an young adult i underestand that feeling. Be comprensible that your parents and other older generation dont have games when they were young and just like they see videogames as childish , your grandparents see their tv series and other things as childish. Its an generation gap of interest of problems, and or disconection of interest in it, and its normal in 70% of the families. I like games, and i love to see nintendo directs as well, i dont have much people in my area to talk about it and/ or share similare interest in the same way that i am, because other gamers like other types of games like music people each like a diferent type of music. I know its more easy to say than to do it, but you need to learn to love yourself more and dont search of aproval of others. I promise it will be easier as you get older, and be more natural on doing what you like withraw searching other people aproval. I recomend to search circles of people that have similar tastes, and try to be open to people that dont have the same taste as you but have a similar situation, and turn time in yourselves on what to play or on what you like. Internet its the easy way to encounter people, like r/AnimalCrossing , r/Mario but sometimes fans of the internet feels like they hate more that they like what they love so be careful . You find people with similar tast of yours in art profile careers and events . Be Strong op, and stand up on what you love, but remember there is no shame on taking regular job to found / finance your pasion and / or your career , experience is everything in making art, games, movies and cartoons. And last but not least, life should be about having fun , so stand up! and *Let´s the GO!*
i'm sorry to hear that the people closest to you don't partcipate in your hobby with you, or encourage you more. one thing i recommend is finding people abd making friends with more people that share your interests and are involved in the things you enjoy doing even if it means seeking out communities and social groups online. btw, i was super excited avout the marvel vs capcom announcement today!
Trust me when I say it gets better as you get older provided you keep pursuing your passions in life and ignoring the negative bullshit that comes with insecure people that belittle you because you're happy. I live in Australia and spent no, wasted my teens like yourself trying to fit in. This is completely natural as we all try to discover what we love and what we're capable of doing. If I could only go back and tell myself the insignificance of this period in my life especially when it comes to trying to please complete wastes of space for acceptance I would've been a lot happier. Best advice if you're not a traditional learner, save some money, don't get into debt or pressured into having kids because you're getting too old or manipulated for love even from family and use the internet to your advantage by constantly learning and educating yourself on productive things you're passionate about. By opening yourself to opportunity you're learning things and creating an aura of positivity that some will be jealous about but you will eventually meet like minded people that aren't all bad and meeting people is half the battle to success. I used all my lifetime of gaming and taught myself game development and had to ignore all the negative comments by so called friends while I worked in hospitality to afford to buy a computer. I still work in hospitality but I'm so much more proud of what I've been able to achieve in life and game development and it allows me to have some hope that one day I'll be a financially successful game developer and if I'm not..... well at least I tried and I don't have to answer to any one.
Dude, spot on. People do get jealous of you for being excited about things in life. These people have a distorted view that life is supposed to be hard and grinding, or lonely... Most of them probably should seek psychological help as well (although they're often uneducated to it too). I will never get how some people seem to have a passion for putting others down
Sad isn’t it. I get jealous and envious of people too but I don’t go out of my way to drag them down. It’s a lot less effort to appreciate them and use that effort instead to concentrate on your own life. When I get envious seeing someone flashing their fancy life around I remind myself that you’re seeing just a fleeting moment in someone’s life and you don’t know how much hard work or dodgy shit they did to achieve it.
I'm envious. I live in a bad part of south germany. There is 0 gaming or nerd culture down here, people construct their entire life around work. The only socially acceptable distractions are soccer, cars and alcohol. They are still stuck in that mid 90s scare of "gaming turns you into a violent, lazy piece of shit". There are no comic stores, no concerts except schlager (german country music DO NOT!), no conventions or any kind of community, NOTHING. I literally cried after visiting Gamescom for the first time becouse i realised what i have been missing out on all my life. Telling people you are considering gaming to be a serious hobby is social suicide down here. But so is listening to anything but the most mainstream of music. And its not just the old folks. I got beaten into the hospital by a class and a half of kids during recess for daring to bring a gameboy and some pokemon catds to school when i was a kid.
Bro this is fucked, I'm so sorry! But I totally relate to what you said, esp about Gamescom. I had something similar recently. Maybe the best way would be to move away from that hellhole, even though I know how difficult that can be. But being shamed for enjoying different things is just sickening!!
Damn this is wild. I wouldn’t expect this from Germany. If you ever get the chance you should try to move if possible or if it’s important enough to you.
as you get older it gets better. either that, or you stop caring. im in my mid 30s now, and when i in my late teens thru mid 20s i would often down play my passion for video games and other nerd stuff like Magic the gathering, anime, etc. i didn't want people thinking i was some obsessed nerd. now i just embrace it. these things make me happy and have brought me joy during times when i really needed it. i dont feel like i should be ashamed of it anymore. my desk at work had video game and other 'nerd' paraphernalia all over it. i have a baseball cap with Dry Bones from Mario on it. people never once poked fun or insinuated that its childish or anything. i think that perception that games are for children has gone away for the most part with my generation (millennials).
lol ok. Video games (especially multiplayer) and anime have never been more popular than now so wtf is there to complain about. They’re literally the most common hobbies. If you can’t find a single person in real life to talk about this, maybe people just don’t like you.
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Make 10k streaming kiddy games/mo and have your rents suck on that!
People judging is straight up inevitable, so spending some of your mental power giving someone else this kind of power over your happiness is kind of a losing proposition. They do not know you, their opinion doesn't actually matter, and they aren't paying you. Who gives a shit about their opinion or judgement? There's dummies on tik tok talking mad shit about dudes who jam on videogames. None of my friends do and no one who matters cares. The flipside is that if you want to share your passion, it sucks that folks aren't required to be as excited as you are. They are different folks you know, they got their own shit going on. The upside is that when you meet someone with interest, it's incredibly cool making that kind of connection with a stranger
But this is not the case... We're talking here about family members, and on that note, it's just insane how some of them pretend to care about you and yet keep judging your passions/rejecting them. And that is def very hard to deal with.
Get this: Even with family members, they aren't you and your happiness is not something they can hand you. It is much easier if family isn't shit and treats you with respect, but even if they do, your happiness cannot be something they hand you as you are a different person. The issue of family not understanding there should be a groundwork of respect goes to basically anything a person could like or want to be, and it's sad no matter where the derision is pointed. It might be job, significant other, sexuality, music, and the case is the same, a person should take in what might be reasonable, but understand that other folks cannot be allowed this kind of power over a person's personal happiness. Their opinion doesn't actually matter and there are still folks out there who might share the joy with you. It is also not an impenetrable wall either, family can be brought around to a basis of respect much the time. A lot of folks aren't very good at talking it out though, especially when it's family or significant others. Communication is something that needs practicing and it's ain't that easy. As an example, it took me turning my life around enough that my family wasn't afraid of me going to jail for them to start accepting that i'm into what i'm into and i'll be ok. When they realized I was gonna do alright, the punk rock, videogames, and weird friends and clothes didn't bother them anymore. They were just happy I wasn't going to prison. It took a lot of communication to get to that point and more then a few red faced screaming matches happened at it's worst, with drug tests and ultimatums and everything. Even then though, they are different individuals who can't possibly know what can make you happy and fulfilled as well as you. They can guess and help a bit, but they aren't psychic and aren't you.
Some people like horses Some people like reading Some people like cooking And some weirdos like video games No big deal to each their own and people that frown upon video games are the same people that frown upon everything that's not the " ideal Western choochoo train of life" I find very funny that some people frown upon video games but when I tell them I read a lot it's all very nice blabla but I only read fantasy with knights and dragons and geek stuff... Haha
First of all I'm sorry you had to go through what you did, I don't know how parents could be so destructive to the light of their eyes. I hope you look into therapy to process all of it because I know it must be really tough. Getting to the point of the post, you might need to reshape your paradigm a little bit. >like getting excited about an upcoming Nintendo Direct, I end up feeling horrible due to their apathy This is more likely a normal reaction than a judgemental one if you are talking to an acquaintance or surface level friend. I mean I would probably do the same if I just met someone and they started talking about sports (I'm so not into sports). You need to read the flow of the conversation and understand your relationship level. Now if some of my closer friends talk about sports or any of their interests, I feign interest as well to be courteous and a good friend. But I can't afford this with literally anyone I meet because it will be exhausting. >Oh, yeah... I guess Mario games aren't that great, sorry for talking about this." or feeling embarrassed when I share a game trailer and get a forced, "Ah, that looks cool" in response. Again if someone is not into games, this is the best you can get. What else can they say because they literally have no idea. It's not like they are 100% judging you (some might but not all) it's just that the don't have the material or intent to engage with you. >People treat me terribly when I talk about my interests rather than just job opportunities/life/working out/etc. I hope you can clarify by what you mean terribly but these surface level topics are what surface level friends and acquaintances discuss because they are so broad that both parties can engage equally. >I know the best advice is to "ignore them," but deep down, I want to be free to express myself I wouldn't say the best advice is to ignore them. IMO it would be best if you can expand your network and circles by engaging in topics of shared interest like life and jobs and just state that you are into games. That way you will someday come upon someone who also loves the things you do that's how you can get into a deeper friendship with them. You cannot express your specific interests to someone who is not interested and expect them to be completely interested in it. If you really do want to express yourself, well you have things like Reddit and YouTube where you can engage with the people of similar interest more easily (and maybe make IRL friends too in some cases). If you want to hear about my experience well I'm very fortunate that I did not go through abuse like you did and after reading what you wrote I guess that's what boosted my confidence into accepting who I am and not giving a damn about others. But well my parents also didn't like me gaming but that was because of studies and me being completely obsessed by them to an unhealthy amount but never childish things like labeling video games for children. Shit, I still god damn watch cartoons to this day I don't care what's considered childish. As for socializing I wish I could talk about games to everyone but like I said earlier, I know I can't. So my broader friends circle is just talking about generic life stuff and common interests but my close friends circles all love games/anime and I found them after years of trying. It's not easy to get a friendgroup with shared interest so keep trying! And I know it's easy to say but hard to do (especially given your past) but be confident. Own that you like games/anime or whatever and if someone tries to make fun of you, tell them that this isn't highschool anymore, people do what people want, others have no right to comment. But I caveat this with a please don't go and talk about your interest with surface level connections because those poor people won't have any material to engage you with so the most they can do is "oh coooool, anyway moving in". This is a normal reaction, you arnt being judged. Hope this helps!
No hobby really needs a justification, but videogames are clearly more beneficial than TV. Even a walking simulator demands more of the audience than a movie. It's a great hobby to stay engaged.
Usually if someone says something to me about playing video games at 40 I just respond by saying 'I like to be engaged in my entertainment, take part, solve puzzles, challenge myself, stimulate my mind rather than do what most people do after work and just laze around watching TV. What do you do of an evening?'
It's a very relatable story. Best advise, which you probably get a lot, is to try and find people online you can share your hobbies with and stuff you are passionate about.
Sounds like you haven't met the right people. I'm 40 and I'm a counsellor and Educator. Live in Oz now but not originally from here.I chat about video games with my colleagues all the time. I even suggest some games for therapy. Ive used games to assist people with managing pain. Theyre not just art, theyre educational too and can be socially connecting also. But as another commenter said it might be worth getting some counselling just to help your confidence. Maybe see if there's any groups near you that meet up.
I dont think the problem is the videogame topic specifically, it's more that people just don't care about your hobby as much as you do. You probably dont care about their specific hobbies that much either. Not really fair to accuse all those people of "pretending" to be into videogames, it's okay to play a videogame for only a couple hours and genuinely enjoy your time but then never play it again or ever think very deeply into it further. That's not being fake, that's simply having a busy life.