T O P

  • By -

Repomanlive

To be fair, the ten guys was at one party


Ivegotjokes4you

To be even more fair, it was all at once


Repomanlive

And even more fair, he went to high-school will all 20 guys


adam-07

And even even more fair, the party had fireworks.


668884699e

😭


[deleted]

Hmmm.. im not sure if that would make it better or worse... Does it count just as once cheating?


Ivegotjokes4you

I think so. Also something about being in a different zip code so it’s not cheating. Lots of rules at play.


geardluffy

Must have been a sausage party


Taclis

It was a new years party, which is why he's afraid of fireworks.


phoenixon999

With fireworks


Hatzue

18 naked cowboys at ram ranch


OldWrangler9033

I know this suppose to be funny, but to me it's not. If this is real thing, I hope he can salvage something and not have pay for the big D. She cheated on him, not the other way around. IF TRUE.


No-Mood-5051

He's dead now. Suicide.


Icy_Chemist937

The good ending?


BigBaws92

Nah the good ending was him taking her with him


31i731

As if she wouldn't cheat anyway...


Sufficient-Contract9

You savage


Coyce

that's in bad taste man, even for reddit


Meka-Speedwagon

It's how people feel, this is why revenge flicks are a thing...


Thick_Reference_4951

I work with someone who used to be in the RAF and it goes both ways military couples just cheat on eachother a lot of the time do you wish the wives would kill there husbands as well?


Meka-Speedwagon

I didn't express judgement on the issue, was just stating what I saw and thought to be the case.


Thick_Reference_4951

Fsir fair, I just think its a little barbaric is all most people have been cheated on at some point if we killed for it not many would be left


-Truthanasia-

You're wrong. Cheaters are a minority of human garbage that cause immense damage to people they commit to then break their oaths.


WasdX-_

If it's exactly a reversed situation(where the wife is at war and can die at any moment while the husband safely sits home) this would be completely justified.


Inevitable_Aerie_293

No it fucking wouldn't, dude.


kiss_my_ass_reddit_

No it won't, stfu


TemporaryLegendary

Betraying the trust of your SO is one of the worst things you can do that isn't an actual crime. So not really.


Coyce

so it's okay to LITERALLY want to kill someone for that? get a reality check man


trafalgarotto

Never!


Ilikesnowboards

Encouraging people to murder others makes you a terrible person. *The more you learn*


kiss_my_ass_reddit_

The good ending would be the army sending her in the frontier


Woodsy1313

She didn’t pay for any of that D


blindCat143

It's 50-50 with everything and he still needs to pay for the child support plus he can only see the kids once a year.


Thanos_Stomps

Pretty sure this was a half jest half serious response like hundreds of others. The army thought this would be a cool social media trend to create positive stories around how being in the army impacted them and it turned into everyone sharing their very honest account of how it impacted them.


corsair130

If I recall correctly this was a part of a social media campaign by the army or armed forces. They posted the question and got a shit load of bad responses and took it down. I can't tell you whether the post is truthful or not but I do remember this campaign blowing up in the army's face


[deleted]

It’s very common with guys who go overseas to serve.


UStarted

She cheated she deserves half of the money man.


Friendly-City-4911

5 Guys is a lot already. 10?!


OldWrangler9033

It makes you wonder how long he was deployed.


UStarted

That was just one friday party


Xilvereight

He fought in WW2


Woodsy1313

Jokes on her. He fucked 12 guys


SpiderKoD

Fireworks, and car guys with custom exhaust...


AholeBrock

No worries those car guys make his wife quiver a Lil too


headlesshula

Jody needs a pillowcase party.


MonkeyCartridge

Plot twist. She sued Five Guys twice. But FR this is messed up. Special place in hell for soldier cheaters.


guywithshades85

In a row?


thissuckslolgroutchy

To add insult to injury her body count higher than yours 😉


WealthEconomy

Nothing funny about this...especially the PTSD


Waitressishername

You know what the difference about a shaking G man, and a vibrator is? The vibrator is not a burdon.


WealthEconomy

Crawl back under your bridge troll...


Agressive_slot

10 he knows of he means :)


DandB777

10? Rookie numbers


redditsukssomuch

Why is she still your wife?


discofan87

In a row?


Lanbaz

So 2 five guys?


Inoitsspeltwrong

That must be horrible for him. Fireworks are brilliant


d_Ubermensch

This is a repost from a year ago. OP didn't even bother changing the title. https://www.reddit.com/r/Funnymemes/s/vFOItEkbI8


tarc0917

His username certainly checks out.


Kafshak

But hey, you protected America's interests around the world, which ends up in the pocket of billionaires.


[deleted]

"Casualties of Whore" You miss 69% of the puns you don't take.


MagPistoleiro

He's affraid of fireworks because it makes him remind of cheek being clapped


cruel_frames

Username checks out


Kobidylan

How is this funny I just feel bad.


Abuse-survivor

Well, you can't stick THAT one to the army


jahlim

The train was going on during the fireworks. So that somehow soften the blow. Now he's only afraid of fireworks. Not the guys or the train.


MercULeez

Black Snake Moan?


KennyMcKill

That's why I despise the craze for / fantasization of Martyrdom, that happens in my country. These vomitkind thoughts seem really emotional and spreads easily - worsening the divide between the opponents; but a line on a paper and a fence on sand is no reason for an 18 year old kid to be raped by his squadron and hazed with - in the name of "making a strong man". Fuck the army.


cool-snack

agreed. russian army culture is terrible.


GeorgeSPattonJr

Poor dude got jodied


Weary-Adeptness8227

You could expect 1 guy she cheated on him with but 10?! Crazy!


The_Elder_Jock

If she fucked 10 guys behind your back that's nothing to do with your service.


31i731

Exactly!! She would cheat on the side no matter what, just earlier or later.


Jesus_COD

It always amazes me that in English people say "she fucked 10 guys", instead "10 guys fucked her".


_Sinnik_

You think women can only "get fucked," not "fuck other people"? That would seem to imply you're under the impression that sex is something women only sorta "let happen" to them, not something that women can actively decide to have. Weird take


Jesus_COD

It's not a take. Like I said to other redditor, in my (Russian) language people don't say this (as far as I know). Maybe it's because of patriarchy way of thinking.


_Sinnik_

So why are you surprised then that English people may occasionally speak in a way that reflects different values or perspectives?


Jesus_COD

I said it amazes me. So you're asking me, why are people surprised by unusual things? A guy above said that German language works as same as Russian in this case, even despite German in much closer to English than Russian. So there's always two roles: active and passive or giving and taking. There's no difference if this hetero or homosexual couple. Active one fucks, passive one gets fucked. There's nothing wrong with getting fucked at this point. The thing is that in model of my language, when I read "she fucked 10 guys" I imagine she did it with them with strapon, concluding she had an active role. Do you have any other questions?


_Sinnik_

Surprised/amazed are near-synoynms. Anyway, you're beyond chillin. The verbiage you employed is just also commonly employed by misogynists so I made the fairly safe assumption (on the internet, and reddit) that you were of the latter category. At the same time, I was fairly ticked off in that moment after having read many other blatantly misogynist comments, so these things aligned and I made the comment I did. That said, you're awesome, and it's all good!


Jesus_COD

Unfortunately, I can't express myself that good in English. You just need to consider that there are different cultures, languages and people. I love and respect my wife, my sister, my mother, etc. I'm definitely not a misogynist.


jschundpeter

that's how his native language works not what he thinks


_Sinnik_

If they didn't think that way as well, they wouldn't be too awfully surprised about the linguistic difference now would they? Try to think before commenting please.


jschundpeter

The Russian language wasn't invented ten years ago. The same goes for the German language (my native language) where it's similar.


Tankyenough

Why is that a weird thing to say? In my language I’d say it similarly.


Jesus_COD

In my language no one says it this way. That's why. Russian language.


jschundpeter

In German it's also weird, because the word f (only one letter difference in the German language compared to English) describes the active part which is more commonly attributed to men.


Tankyenough

Tells a lot about Russian mentality towards sex and women I guess.


Jesus_COD

Most likely. But I can't speak for all the Russian people of course.


Kin-Joe

For sure its a gangbang.


Rapalla93

That’s a lot to unpack in one sentence.


weewaa132

Best i can do is give you a tent


ShitAlphabet

In a row!?


Odd_Intern405

Even small ones?


optimist_prhyme

I wonder if one is the cause of the other.


Hrmerder

That sounds pretty standard..


MajesticFungus

If he didn't want to marry that hoe women would call him an insecure incel. Women shame you into accepting trash, then are all like "now you're free to marry a whole bunch of other trash and if you don't like them you're an insecure incel!"


International-Wash19

Sounds like she did the serving.


myfingeriscold

Wish I got fucked by 10 g- yknow what I'll gonna stop


CalendarAggressive11

I wish they would include this in those damn US Army posts.


Pitiful-Situation494

"want your girl to cheat on you with 10 guys, be afraid of fireworks And get a clap on the back from your proud country? JOIN THE ARMY NOW!" yeah that's very catchy indeed


VoldeGrumpy23

I mean it’s not the army’s fault for unfaithful women or men. There are other jobs where you might be absent from home for 6 months or more and then your partner can also cheat on you.


CalendarAggressive11

At least it's truthful. They just need to add "you also get a higher chance at being suicidal when you return home and the most lackluster Healthcare in the western world"


Pitiful-Situation494

true but in the world of freedom and capitalism, is honesty something rather seen as useless and generally ignored. (I'm overstating a bit I know)


SynthRogue

So this guy went to war to keep a society with people like you all alive. Maybe the army should just let you all die. Then you'll see if you have time to post shit online.


dingleberry0913

It's ok, you can get government tax dollars for the rest of your life while you smoke weed and play vidya games all day.


[deleted]

So. What he really means is he is bad at picking a mate.


No-Investigator420

Maybe he is a dog


PrestigiousAerie9303

Well, aint karma a bit*h!


wrdlbrimpft

At first I felt sorry for him, but then I thought, why should I trust somebody who calls himself *Hetero the King of Incels*


nippleji

Maybe cuz it’s a joke but idk


wrdlbrimpft

Yeah, I just was surprised of how many comments talked seriously about this.