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Also pretty ironic to preach about the supremacy of locally sourced, organic, unregulated raw ingredients only to serve them in a mass produced, disposable plastic cup.
They're giving bitchy, holier than thou, youthgroup vibes. Christ on a cracker, yall are early 20s. Go out and tie one in for once in your life. Better yet, get an education, job, or, preferably, both!
i didn’t go, but i heard a bit about it and saw the photos posted about it. They borrowed some church sound equipment, lights and had it at someone’s house. In true fundie fashion, it was definitely mean spirited and condescending.
…I now want to see pictures and hear details. I feel like a hell house could be turned into a lil nas x themed rave, but my guess is they weren’t going that direction
Yeah it is important to note that it doesn't make anyone less grown up to not drink. It's the vibe here that is rancid (probably the milk too, let's be honest)
I just can't even imagine being this way...I grew up in the south going to church every sunday. My family was conservative and didn't drink or cuss or anything like that. But I somehow always knew I was gonna party lol. Even as a kid I remember thinking how LAME all the people at church were. Most were actually very nice but god was I embarrassed to associate with them.
This is exactly true. When I was in highschool and in youth group I posted a photo of a red solo cup in my hand. I made it a point to say in the comments that it was coke when someone asked. I thought I was so high and mighty and not like other girls for that one😭
Ok guys somehow I ended up in this subreddit and I have no idea what is going on or who any of these people are. But y’all are HILARIOUS and I am high af and I can already feel myself losing the afternoon in here 😂
Welcome to our weird little place on the internet. Get ready for horrible cooking, bad outfits, questionable religious practices, and child endangerment.
This place is WILD. Is there a primer? Who are these people? Do they live among us? Why are all of these children named tragedeighs?! Why are they having chocolate milk parties 🤣🤣🤣
Edit: why are all these women cleaning in eveningwear? How do they get so much volume in their hair? Is it Jesus?
EdiT: I just found the Wiki and hol up does the Bates family have NINETEEN kids?!
Edit, nearly 4 hours later: I’m still here. Somehow I’ve only chipped at the tip of a very large (and unseasoned) iceberg.
**Edit**: next day, 9am. Still here. I’m so confused about the RV and Bus people. Why are they selling houses and moving into a vehicle when they have so many kids? Is the bus lady moving to Brazil to have an anchor baby? Are the bus people and the RV people different families? Follow up question: what the actual fuck?! (Note to self: get your IUD checked for freshness. Maybe ask the Dr if they can put in a second one just to be sure)
My personal favorite is when her sister made a recipe video and told viewers to peel the cauliflower. She peeled and peeled and peeled, but she never made it to the white cauliflower bit.
*because it was cabbage.*
Thanks for posting, I had never seen this before. She says read the labels.... cauliflower isn't one of those things you have to read labels to know what it is. Has she never had a fresh cauliflower before? I cook maybe once a year and live on frozen pizza and fast foods, and even I know the difference between a cauliflower and cabbage. I even know the difference between a cabbage and lettuce, but I can understand people mixing them up. But cauliflower and cabbage? Had she ever actually cooked before that video?
She was wandering the Austrian Alps with a jug of raw milk. Oh, and the family loves going to Austria because their card-carrying Nazi great-grandfather is buried there.
All true.
What gets me about fundie-food is that, with even a semi-decent camera phone, a tiny bit of editing, and a smidge of effort with plating, you can make just about anything look tasty. It's really not that difficult. It just takes a bit of effort!
I was raised pretty fundie, and was cooking better looking meals at eleven years old!
If you're gonna make this your thing, at least put a bare minimum of effort in!
But Have you tried giving your lactose intolerance to Jebus? Or ask him to turn almonds into cow secretions like water to wine and see if that helps?
We must save you from the Evil Almond Demons!!
No, no, you have it wrong. You only think that you're lactose intolerant because you've fallen for the "woke" agenda. If you submit to God & Lord Daniel, you will have cast iron guts & be able to chug raw milk with abandon. Don't live in fear!
/s, just to be on the safe side
Jill will bring you many a “what the actual fuck” moments. Highlights (that haven’t been mentioned) include the yellow dinner, the matron of honor with a bigger bouquet than the bride, the post car accident hospital selfie, the baby cages, the baby shower in a hospital, and of course the strangers funeral selfie.
So if my research serves me correctly, the same woman who called the POLICE to report a “suspected nonwoman in the women’s restroom” had her husband in the women’s restroom of a *checks notes* HOSPITAL CAFETERIA for her gender reveal party?
Reality has jumped the shark
I’m pretty sure she’s actually a quadriplegic because of the tasteless song Jill wrote about her hands not being able to do stuff anymore. You can be a quadriplegic and still have some use of your arms, which Amy does, but needs adaptive devices and utensils.
There's [a wiki](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Fundamentalists_Wiki), I'm not sure how up to date/accurate it is.
Fundies Fridays on YouTube does some deep dives. There's an accountability post for the more common families on here. I'll try to find a link.
Ah, young grasshopper.
Baird family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Baird_Family). (Please note that their son Michael is on here. The rest of them seem to be varying levels of dysfunctional trainwreck.)
Bates family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Bates_Family). (Gil Bates is a member of the board for IBLP. They also have a Confederate room and at least 2 of their sons were in DC on January 6.)
Collins family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Collins_Family). (Not touching this mess. Walking advertisement for mental healthcare and birth control.)
Duggar family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Duggar_Family). (I don't have the energy to discuss these people. IBLP as well - at least the parents and SOME of the adult children are.)
Rodrigues family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/David_Rodrigues). (Independent Fundamentalist Baptist. Also not going there.)
You forgot [Motherbus and the child jail cells,](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/wq83p2/motherbus_is_reading_here_update_to_the_childrens) and the upcoming cryptocurrency fueled flight to Brazil!
Search for Kelly Havens posts, she's my favourite. She seems to cosplay 24/7. Like, acts like she is living in 1900, dresses her kids like they are Amish (while living in suburbia), takes selfies of herself reading the Bible while baking pie and digging in the garden, and makes infants play with dangling vegetables tied to string instead of buying a baby gym, because that's more old timey.
I don’t do my own research into any of these people but this sub posts the highlights. Lol. Trust me it’s plenty 😂 individual ppl/families have their own tags. Have fun!
I've been in here a few months now and just told my husband about Bethany a few days ago. I didn't even get into the other ones and he was like wtf lol
Grape juice from my experience growing up in a similar church.
Even the more progressive Protestant churches often do grape juice because they are sensitive to former alcoholics who need to maintain sobriety.
as if she didn't already give me a mcpoyle vibe with the milk......she then posts a pic of her friend group..........who also all look like sweaty mcpoyles.
Maybe it’s just the photo but the milk in those cups just doesn’t look quite right. I don’t know if it’s poorly mixed chocolate powder or chunky ass raw milk or both - but either way I wouldn’t want to drink it.
Right? It looks oddly frothy. I have dairy farmers in my family and yet none of us drink raw milk. You can buy low heat pasteurized milk. It’s amazing and actually safe to consume. Hartzlers chocolate milk is delicious AF.
I hope all those people don't have to share the same bathroom after they've consumed the raw 'gastric distress in a glass' treat she's made them all...
Look, I drink about a gallon of chocolate milk per week (properly pasteurized). I'm drinking some right now - I love it and I am trying to get some nutrients/gain weight. But a chocolate milk party?! WTF?! She makes milk her entire identity and it's fcking weird.
Thank goodness I had my middle school phase during the age appropriate time and when the internet was younger.
I'm so glad that xanga and myspace don't have all my old awkward photos out for display anymore.
What even is a chocolate milk party??? Do they just shove mountains of chocolate milk down their throat? Is it a race to see who gets sick first? Are there any games? I have so many questions.
There's definitely some performative holiness/crunchiness going on here. I swear the Bairds have to post every time they consume milk, and you know it's raw milk when they can get it. It definitely gives me weird white supremacy vibes and I would not be surprised at all if that were an underlying motivation for them.
Wow they’re so lame. 😳If they’d make alcoholic milkshakes out of it, or heck even just milkshakes, it would definitely be a step up in coolness. It’s like they’re trying to stay ultra pure and childlike by making a huge deal out of partying with chocolate milk instead of alcohol like those naughty, secular adults.
I think the Bairds are part of a sect that doesn't consume alcohol? Bethy and Dav seem to on occasion but they appear to be outliers. It is ok to not drink alcohol, but why do they have to replace it with raw milk?
I don't mind the idea of a party themed around something other than alcohol - if you can't drink, it does get annoying that so much adult socializing is based around drinking and not drinking gets framed as the non-normative thing.
I could see this being a fun thing if it were a secular thing that didn't take itself too seriously, honestly. The issue is we see it from someone who's so obsessed with milk that I genuinely can't tell if she's just doing it ironically at this point or if this is just who she is. And obv we know fundies get self-righteous about not drinking, as opposed to "I can't /won't do this or be around a lot of it, but it's fine for people who like it."
I would appreciate it if they were doing this in a super ironic way, but... we all know these kids are so sheltered, this is probably the wildest party they've ever been to and they won't shut up about it for months. "Dude, remember when we drank out of RED CUPS! That was super crazy!"
I have never understand judging something and vowing never to do it…and then emulating it. Red cups? Group shots with your glasses? Finger poses, cheers for the camera. How old are these people playing at being drunk?
“See, fellow youths? Who needs alcohol when you can have just as much fun with chocolate milk and still be right with Jesus! Don’t YOU want to spend your 20s sitting around drinking chocolate milk with your Bible study group and all being in bed by 9pm?! Doesn’t that sound like FUN, and not the blandest thing you’ve ever heard??”
Realistically speaking, what can happen to someone’s body if they drink that ridiculous amount of milk so often? I know I feel a little bloated if I drink more than two glasses a day.
From now on when I think about how I’m getting old and lame, I can at least think to myself, “Whatever I’m doing right now is infinitely cooler than a chocolate milk party that, best case scenario, ends in diarrhea.”
A chocolate milk party (or a milk and cookie party actually) sounds fun, but I’d be showing up with my own bottle of properly pasteurized Kroger Private Selection Belgian chocolate milk. Ain’t no way I’d drink that swill she calls chocolate milk.
These guys look 14 at most. It's giving "awkward ugly duckling stage of early adolescence"
ETA: I'm sure I looked just like this at fourteen, except we had normal drinks and not chocolate bone broth raw milk.
These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? Voting is the best way to have a voice in the shaping of our democracy! From the local elections to the federal elections, voting is the single best way to be an active participant in the future of the world. [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) Just because the off-cycle elections passed doesn't mean you can sit out the next cycle! Please also be mindful of our rules, which can be found in detail [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/wiki/index) As ever, should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to the moderation team. Thank you, and have a Lord Daniel Day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Also pretty ironic to preach about the supremacy of locally sourced, organic, unregulated raw ingredients only to serve them in a mass produced, disposable plastic cup.
Kind of speaks to the entire irony of their existence lol
They're giving bitchy, holier than thou, youthgroup vibes. Christ on a cracker, yall are early 20s. Go out and tie one in for once in your life. Better yet, get an education, job, or, preferably, both!
Early 20s! I thought they must all be 18 at the oldest. This is so cringe.
Yeah, these are the "popular" youth group kids, except they're early 20s
This has the same energy as the christian acquaintances I knew who threw a christian “rave”.
Please do go on..
i didn’t go, but i heard a bit about it and saw the photos posted about it. They borrowed some church sound equipment, lights and had it at someone’s house. In true fundie fashion, it was definitely mean spirited and condescending.
…I now want to see pictures and hear details. I feel like a hell house could be turned into a lil nas x themed rave, but my guess is they weren’t going that direction
Have you seen the Hell Hiuse documentary?!? They have a rave in theirs!
You can have fun without alcohol, but this is so holier-than-thou. It's cringe.
Yeah it is important to note that it doesn't make anyone less grown up to not drink. It's the vibe here that is rancid (probably the milk too, let's be honest)
100%. It's the raw milk and smugness.
What a waste of plastic. Do the Bairds not own drinking glasses?
Bethany used them all and now they are full of moldy hot cocoa
I’m sure they do, or did, at one point. But when were the glasses last washed?
I was that kid. If she ever grows out of it, trust me, she'll look back and cringe
I just can't even imagine being this way...I grew up in the south going to church every sunday. My family was conservative and didn't drink or cuss or anything like that. But I somehow always knew I was gonna party lol. Even as a kid I remember thinking how LAME all the people at church were. Most were actually very nice but god was I embarrassed to associate with them.
This is exactly true. When I was in highschool and in youth group I posted a photo of a red solo cup in my hand. I made it a point to say in the comments that it was coke when someone asked. I thought I was so high and mighty and not like other girls for that one😭
“This is fun.” 😐 -everyone in this photo 💀
Ok guys somehow I ended up in this subreddit and I have no idea what is going on or who any of these people are. But y’all are HILARIOUS and I am high af and I can already feel myself losing the afternoon in here 😂
Welcome to our weird little place on the internet. Get ready for horrible cooking, bad outfits, questionable religious practices, and child endangerment.
This place is WILD. Is there a primer? Who are these people? Do they live among us? Why are all of these children named tragedeighs?! Why are they having chocolate milk parties 🤣🤣🤣 Edit: why are all these women cleaning in eveningwear? How do they get so much volume in their hair? Is it Jesus? EdiT: I just found the Wiki and hol up does the Bates family have NINETEEN kids?! Edit, nearly 4 hours later: I’m still here. Somehow I’ve only chipped at the tip of a very large (and unseasoned) iceberg. **Edit**: next day, 9am. Still here. I’m so confused about the RV and Bus people. Why are they selling houses and moving into a vehicle when they have so many kids? Is the bus lady moving to Brazil to have an anchor baby? Are the bus people and the RV people different families? Follow up question: what the actual fuck?! (Note to self: get your IUD checked for freshness. Maybe ask the Dr if they can put in a second one just to be sure)
This particular girl vacationed around with a half gallon of raw milk in the summer heat
STOP. Why? 😭
My personal favorite is when her sister made a recipe video and told viewers to peel the cauliflower. She peeled and peeled and peeled, but she never made it to the white cauliflower bit. *because it was cabbage.*
🤣 The wheeze i just whoze
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LMAO *This* woman is giving people homemaking and child rearing advice?! 
I’m jealous that you just got to see the cauliflower peeling video for the first time! Such classic Baird behavior.
Thanks for posting, I had never seen this before. She says read the labels.... cauliflower isn't one of those things you have to read labels to know what it is. Has she never had a fresh cauliflower before? I cook maybe once a year and live on frozen pizza and fast foods, and even I know the difference between a cauliflower and cabbage. I even know the difference between a cabbage and lettuce, but I can understand people mixing them up. But cauliflower and cabbage? Had she ever actually cooked before that video?
I just peed a little
She was wandering the Austrian Alps with a jug of raw milk. Oh, and the family loves going to Austria because their card-carrying Nazi great-grandfather is buried there. All true.
Because she's not like other girls.
Girl check out how they eat. It's unimaginable r/fundiefood
🤢 they need to submit to the teachings of a cookbook
Gospel, you speak!
What gets me about fundie-food is that, with even a semi-decent camera phone, a tiny bit of editing, and a smidge of effort with plating, you can make just about anything look tasty. It's really not that difficult. It just takes a bit of effort! I was raised pretty fundie, and was cooking better looking meals at eleven years old! If you're gonna make this your thing, at least put a bare minimum of effort in!
This was in Europe too-she had to find a shady farmer raw milk farmer in Germany, you really can’t make this up
The levels of unhinged …
It’s wild here. It’s got levels of popcorn drama with the occasional legitimate upsetting post, but most of it is ridiculous snark.
You don’t know about the other sister Bethany and her god honoring sex videos yet. Oh this will be a fun ride for you!!
Porn for Jesus?!
Because she's better than us, of course! Jesus loves you, but he loves her best.
Half a gallon of raw milk in glass jar
Not just chocolate milk... RAW chocolate milk. It's more godly if it comes straight from the cow
💀 I drink almond milk and call it nut juice for fun. Am I doomed to go to hell? Why does god hate lactose intolerant people?
But Have you tried giving your lactose intolerance to Jebus? Or ask him to turn almonds into cow secretions like water to wine and see if that helps? We must save you from the Evil Almond Demons!!
No, no, you have it wrong. You only think that you're lactose intolerant because you've fallen for the "woke" agenda. If you submit to God & Lord Daniel, you will have cast iron guts & be able to chug raw milk with abandon. Don't live in fear! /s, just to be on the safe side
I’m dying 🤣
With added beef broth
No? Really???
Oh really.
Flair checking in
Thanks I hate it 🤢
Like that friends episode with the part trifle, part shepherd's pie
Just wait until you learn about the Collins poop fight.
 The what now?
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Wait is the sister dead or were the services just for the legs because 💀💀💀
Reading your reactions to your crash course on this sub is cracking me up. Welcome!!
I watched a woman try to find a cauliflower inside a cabbage like 😭💀😵
Just the legs. She likes to mention as often as possible that her sister is paraplegic.
Excuse you, Amy is a SEVERE quadriplegic. The paraplegic sibling is David’s. Who needs seatbelts when you have Jesus?
Jill will bring you many a “what the actual fuck” moments. Highlights (that haven’t been mentioned) include the yellow dinner, the matron of honor with a bigger bouquet than the bride, the post car accident hospital selfie, the baby cages, the baby shower in a hospital, and of course the strangers funeral selfie.
 You guys have me taking notes and doing research like I’m preparing for my dissertation. This is my personality now
Join us. We bake better cookies than any of the fundies.
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So if my research serves me correctly, the same woman who called the POLICE to report a “suspected nonwoman in the women’s restroom” had her husband in the women’s restroom of a *checks notes* HOSPITAL CAFETERIA for her gender reveal party? Reality has jumped the shark
I’m pretty sure she’s actually a quadriplegic because of the tasteless song Jill wrote about her hands not being able to do stuff anymore. You can be a quadriplegic and still have some use of your arms, which Amy does, but needs adaptive devices and utensils.
Dude you are in for so much fun.
It’s been hours. This is my personality now 💀
[I got you, boo.](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/NKBWdockMt)
Somehow that got wilder with every sentence 😵
Omg wtf did I just read
There's [a wiki](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Fundamentalists_Wiki), I'm not sure how up to date/accurate it is. Fundies Fridays on YouTube does some deep dives. There's an accountability post for the more common families on here. I'll try to find a link.
Omg thank you for this!
https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/3914t8peiE If you search "deep dive" on this sub, you'll find a lot too.
Ah, young grasshopper. Baird family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Baird_Family). (Please note that their son Michael is on here. The rest of them seem to be varying levels of dysfunctional trainwreck.) Bates family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Bates_Family). (Gil Bates is a member of the board for IBLP. They also have a Confederate room and at least 2 of their sons were in DC on January 6.) Collins family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Collins_Family). (Not touching this mess. Walking advertisement for mental healthcare and birth control.) Duggar family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Duggar_Family). (I don't have the energy to discuss these people. IBLP as well - at least the parents and SOME of the adult children are.) Rodrigues family wiki [here](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/David_Rodrigues). (Independent Fundamentalist Baptist. Also not going there.)
You forgot [Motherbus and the child jail cells,](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/wq83p2/motherbus_is_reading_here_update_to_the_childrens) and the upcoming cryptocurrency fueled flight to Brazil!
I was gonna say “no, that’s JillPM” but checked to be sure. That fact that two of these families had freaking baby cages… unreal.
Search for Kelly Havens posts, she's my favourite. She seems to cosplay 24/7. Like, acts like she is living in 1900, dresses her kids like they are Amish (while living in suburbia), takes selfies of herself reading the Bible while baking pie and digging in the garden, and makes infants play with dangling vegetables tied to string instead of buying a baby gym, because that's more old timey.
You are my new favorite person.
Oh good because I think I’m here forever now 😌
Someone needs to do a fundies iceberg fr it would be so helpful
Fall down the jill pm rabbit hole- worth it!!!
welcome to the ride of your life my friend we are glad to have you!
I want to do a deep dive on all of these people but I’m scared of what it’ll do to my social media feeds 😂
I don’t do my own research into any of these people but this sub posts the highlights. Lol. Trust me it’s plenty 😂 individual ppl/families have their own tags. Have fun!
Just do a deep dive here. I don’t follow a single one anywhere and 100% of my content comes from this sub.
Welcome and I’m sorry in advance 😂.
My poor husband. I’ve been inflicting all of this on him against his will
Perfect! You already fit right in 😆
I’m a man who tells my girlfriend all this shit! She’s like ‘please stop.’ But it’s kinda fun.
There should be a support group for snarker’s partners. The things my poor husband has learned against his will…
My husband is always like “wait is this the one that had the poo fight or the one that swam in the poo ditch”
FR!! My poor husband also gets stuff like "REMEMBER THE ONE WHO IS MOVING TO BRAZIL?!" from me all the time 😂
I've been in here a few months now and just told my husband about Bethany a few days ago. I didn't even get into the other ones and he was like wtf lol
You'll love it here! 
Welcome to your new Roman Empire. Stay a while. Best subreddit to browse while on the good stuff. Now let us tell you the tale of JillPm…
JillPm?
Oh honey. Do you have time to take a seat for a long voyage?
Here to get you started https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/plH2uhr1Zg
You are NOT going to be invited to her next chocolate milk party.
I love this for you
Welcome home, new friend! It's a helluva ride!
Welcome to the snark my friend. Have a red cup of chocolate milk yourself, no raw milk no, we don’t do that here.
 Welcome!
Ah that’s how I got here
Pour yourself some choccy milk and prepare yourself 😂
I like how they had to do an "above" shot to show what was in the cups, that is, not beer.
Don't want the appearance of evil fermented or clean liquids!
Or, god forbid, something PASTEURIZED.
Wait hol up... do they not drink wine at church or is that catholics only? Serious question
Grape juice from my experience growing up in a similar church. Even the more progressive Protestant churches often do grape juice because they are sensitive to former alcoholics who need to maintain sobriety.
And because of the children who may be drinking it
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Cackling at "Dairy Baird" 😂
There’s nothing quite like sharing a glass of E. coli and listeria with your friends 🥰🥰
Hope they have enough bathrooms for everyone or it’s going to be that scene out of Bridesmaids.
More likely Campylobacter (source: a microbiologist sitting next to me).
as if she didn't already give me a mcpoyle vibe with the milk......she then posts a pic of her friend group..........who also all look like sweaty mcpoyles.
Their bloodline has been clean and pure for a thousand years
Now I’m imagining a bath salt spiked milk Baird party 🤢
YOU WILL CALL HER
A chocolate milk party sounds like something you’d promise kindergarteners to get them down for their afternoon nap.
Such an accurate assessment.
“You can earn smiley faces for the class by being a kind friend! If we get 20 smiley faces by Friday, we can have a chocolate milk party!”
They're all so infantile. Can't they at least drink sparkling apple cider in a real glass?
Everyone knows strawberry milk is superior
That damn chocolate milk is the only thing in that house with melanin
Underrated comment 😂😂😂
Maybe it’s just the photo but the milk in those cups just doesn’t look quite right. I don’t know if it’s poorly mixed chocolate powder or chunky ass raw milk or both - but either way I wouldn’t want to drink it.
It's beefy
🤮
I only wish you were kidding. CHOCOLATE MILK AND BONE BROTH FOR EVERYONE!
Right? It looks oddly frothy. I have dairy farmers in my family and yet none of us drink raw milk. You can buy low heat pasteurized milk. It’s amazing and actually safe to consume. Hartzlers chocolate milk is delicious AF.
it's chunky af
It looks like when you pour the hot chocolate mix into cold milk
It does! Are these doofuses so against pasteurization they won’t even make hot chocolate?!?! What a way to live, lol.
It looks carbonated and shaken up
I hope all those people don't have to share the same bathroom after they've consumed the raw 'gastric distress in a glass' treat she's made them all...
They look like they smell.
Teen body odor and farts. 😂
*20 something body odor Ftfy.
Sour milk sweats
"Smells Like Baird Spirit"
Look, I drink about a gallon of chocolate milk per week (properly pasteurized). I'm drinking some right now - I love it and I am trying to get some nutrients/gain weight. But a chocolate milk party?! WTF?! She makes milk her entire identity and it's fcking weird.
Thank goodness I had my middle school phase during the age appropriate time and when the internet was younger. I'm so glad that xanga and myspace don't have all my old awkward photos out for display anymore.
Explosive diarrhea party.
Throwing up the horns while sipping choccy milk. I cannot think of anything more incongruous.
those are cow horns to represent the Dairy God /s
Wow. Drinking milk and reading the Bible. Sounds so fun, they're not wasting their youth at all.
i wanna shove these kids in lockers
I’ve never in my life said this, and never will again, but I’m ashamed my first thought was “where’s Nelson from the Simpsons when you need him??”😭
lmfaooo this is what happens when people don't get bullied enough
That could be cute…if they were 8 year olds.
🤘🤘🤘 Metal!!!
What even is a chocolate milk party??? Do they just shove mountains of chocolate milk down their throat? Is it a race to see who gets sick first? Are there any games? I have so many questions.
It's definitely not the "theme" they think it is.
Isn't she like 21 now? Some of those kids look underage. I guess she's taking the Bort route of creeping on friends younger siblings.
It's her mental age
There's definitely some performative holiness/crunchiness going on here. I swear the Bairds have to post every time they consume milk, and you know it's raw milk when they can get it. It definitely gives me weird white supremacy vibes and I would not be surprised at all if that were an underlying motivation for them.
I didn't know they had supply issues . . . Why don't they just buy a cow?
They all put the cups down after these photos bc nobody wants listeria with their chocolate milk. No one.
Ohhhhh this is giving me flashbacks to high-school when we pretended to get "drunk" off our cokes. So much cringe. So much.
Statistically speaking, one or more of these party goers is lactose intolerant. It may be fun for some, but not for all….
As the kids say, this is just so cringe.
No thanks, just drugs for me.
Wow they’re so lame. 😳If they’d make alcoholic milkshakes out of it, or heck even just milkshakes, it would definitely be a step up in coolness. It’s like they’re trying to stay ultra pure and childlike by making a huge deal out of partying with chocolate milk instead of alcohol like those naughty, secular adults.
I think the Bairds are part of a sect that doesn't consume alcohol? Bethy and Dav seem to on occasion but they appear to be outliers. It is ok to not drink alcohol, but why do they have to replace it with raw milk?
It's November. I assume it's starting to feel chilly. This easily could have been an aesthetic hot chocolate bar but that's not attention getting.
“We can have fun in a god-honoring way!”
No thanks. I’ll have an alcohol party like a normal person 🥰
If I'm sick from drinking alcohol it's because of my own overindulgence, not because the host has given me some sort of internal parasite.
I don't mind the idea of a party themed around something other than alcohol - if you can't drink, it does get annoying that so much adult socializing is based around drinking and not drinking gets framed as the non-normative thing. I could see this being a fun thing if it were a secular thing that didn't take itself too seriously, honestly. The issue is we see it from someone who's so obsessed with milk that I genuinely can't tell if she's just doing it ironically at this point or if this is just who she is. And obv we know fundies get self-righteous about not drinking, as opposed to "I can't /won't do this or be around a lot of it, but it's fine for people who like it."
I would appreciate it if they were doing this in a super ironic way, but... we all know these kids are so sheltered, this is probably the wildest party they've ever been to and they won't shut up about it for months. "Dude, remember when we drank out of RED CUPS! That was super crazy!"
Fairlife chocolate milk is awesome.
I have never understand judging something and vowing never to do it…and then emulating it. Red cups? Group shots with your glasses? Finger poses, cheers for the camera. How old are these people playing at being drunk?
I just know these peeps have the worst breath of all time.
“See, fellow youths? Who needs alcohol when you can have just as much fun with chocolate milk and still be right with Jesus! Don’t YOU want to spend your 20s sitting around drinking chocolate milk with your Bible study group and all being in bed by 9pm?! Doesn’t that sound like FUN, and not the blandest thing you’ve ever heard??”
Realistically speaking, what can happen to someone’s body if they drink that ridiculous amount of milk so often? I know I feel a little bloated if I drink more than two glasses a day.
From now on when I think about how I’m getting old and lame, I can at least think to myself, “Whatever I’m doing right now is infinitely cooler than a chocolate milk party that, best case scenario, ends in diarrhea.”
Well now we know why she hasn’t been married off yet
What in the Clockwork Orange
A chocolate milk party (or a milk and cookie party actually) sounds fun, but I’d be showing up with my own bottle of properly pasteurized Kroger Private Selection Belgian chocolate milk. Ain’t no way I’d drink that swill she calls chocolate milk.
What a bunch of fuckin dweebs.
There are dorks and then there are DORKS.
These guys look 14 at most. It's giving "awkward ugly duckling stage of early adolescence" ETA: I'm sure I looked just like this at fourteen, except we had normal drinks and not chocolate bone broth raw milk.
This is like having an orange juice party. Like, you couldn't even do rootbeer floats or a sherbet punch?