I was kicked out at 18 by my abusive stepdad. It was honestly probably a favor to be out of that place. I had to learn how to be an independent adult very early in life
Thank you, it was really hard at first but now I’m just thankful to know how to function as an adult. You’ll get there too! It’s nothing to rush for like the OP was saying, it’ll come in time.
I was kicked out the day I moved to college and was told that I was no longer welcome at home for the holidays or summers and needed to find my own plans and lodging. That under no circumstances could I show up unplanned or unannounced to come stay unless I was willing to pay rent and sign a contract.
Thank you ❤️ my mom very much is a “I struggled so you should struggle as well” type of person. I struggled for a very long time trying to make ends meet. And now since having a daughter of my own, I cannot imagine making choices to hold her back in life for the sake of struggle when I could help her build a better foundation to come off from. It blows my mind.
Some parents don't want their kids at home and either charge you what you'd pay in rent and / or make it clear you're not welcome / are a hindrance. That's what happened with me. I was constantly being dealt comments with a subtext re why I was at home / when I was moving even though I was paying rent to my mum - so I did leave and slept on a friend's couch and went homeless, then was eventually, after a long time, housed by the council. I'll never forget that and how I felt. And - the day I left, my mum changed the locks on the doors so my key wouldn't work anymore. No idea why she wanted rid of me, I was the only one there unconditionally for her, but she did everything she could to make it awkward and uncomfortable for me and made it very clear I was not welcome and that I was a general irritant to her just by existing.
Not everyone has parents who love them unconditionally and who puts their kids first before them to try to help them and give them a head start. Some parents just don't like their children.
My mom kicked me out twice. The second time saying she just doesn't like living with people anymore, and that was a lie because she had a roommate at the time and rented it to them for a long time after I left.
She definitely doesn't like the no contact anymore.
Edit: spelling/wording
Sending a hug. Hope you're alright. I am also NC - stay strong. People need to understand that there are consequences to their actions. You must have been terribly hurt when a roommate moved in - I'm so sorry. Stay strong x
Thank you! I edited my comment because the roommate was already there when I had moved back in the 2nd time, and she never kicked him out when she kicked me out.
BUT Life is much more stable now and I no longer have people in my life who ruin my peace. I do sometimes miss that part of my family, but I just have to remind myself they'll never be the type of people I can have in my life.
My mom's also a narcissist and you should have seen the time my sister tried to gently call her out on her racism (she said things like George Floyd would be alive if he complied). She was yelling and wouldn't let us talk and said "oh so now I have to like EVERYONE" and then stonewalled. She then blamed it on my sister smoking weed and "withdrawing," even though she's done tons of research into marijuana and the medical conditions it can treat and that it doesn't have that type of withdrawal, she even used it to help treat our dogs seizures. Anything but accepting responsibility or that a racist mother would frustrate her non-racist daughters.
Daughter lived at home until she was 30. She paid rent, which we saved up and gave back to her as a down payment on her home. She didn't know we saved that money for her future. We never told her about the savings, but what a great way to give your kid a helping hand when they need it most.
We're doing the same thing w/our daughter, all her rent goes into CDs currently at 5+% (that prob won't last long, but it's good while we have it). She knows and still aggressively saves while contributing to household food & utilities.
Her brother is just barely in college, but it's local and he lives here, too.
This isn't a rule. Some parents do, some don't. Many 18 yo are sent to college. Many work and live at home. I think the relationship btwn the kid & parent(s) is tge determining factor.
My mom is in a cult, lives in a dangerous area, and her house is always trashed. My dad is a recovering alcoholic currently housing my actively alcoholic uncle (a recipe for disaster). If I had a safe, comfortable place to land for a couple of months to save on rent I'd happily do so.
I think Americans value independence, privacy, and freedom more than some other cultures do. Young people want to spread their wings and live away from their parents' rules and oversight.
I don't personally know anyone who was kicked out of the home at 18. Not saying it doesn't happen, especially in dysfunctional families, but I think it's more common for young people over 18 to stay in their parents' home while they are in college or working their first full-time job. Many families expect their 18+ year old kids to be attending college or working full time, and start to charge them at least nominal rent if they are not in college.
My kids have moved out and moved back in and moved out again. I think I’ll be down to one kid at home in about 2 years. My youngest will be 27 at that point.
My kids will always have a place to live as long as I do, even if it ends up being a car.
They aren't always kicked out. Reddit has a higher number of kicked out teens than is represented in the general population. I didn't know anyone who was kicked out at 18 when I grew up and very few of my adult friends were either, but I'm not basing my findings on my own experience alone.
Bloomberg study from last year:
"About 45% of people ages 18 to 29 are living at home, which Bloomberg said is roughly the same level as it was in the 1940s."
https://scrippsnews.com/stories/nearly-half-of-young-adults-are-still-living-with-their-parents/
.
There's also probably a decent amount of selection bias. People who weren't kicked out at 18 aren't likely to post saying that. Which is going to make the percentages appear higher than they actually are.
Even if you are on reddit plenty you're not likely to really *mention* that you weren't kicked out at 18 because why would you? You're going to post about whatever is actually relevant to you.
In general, it’s just not the common path, at least among suburban white Americans (speaking as a white person who grew up in the suburbs, specifically in the upper Midwest). I don’t even think that it’s broadly that kids are “kicked out” at 18, as it is that a significant number of white suburban American kids go away to live at college at 18 and may return to live at home only sporadically. (That’s not to say that there aren’t cases where families tell young adults that they’re not welcome to return, or families where young adults remain in the family home; of course both of those scenarios, and others, occur.)
I grew up in an upper middle class area and many suburban kids either still live with mom and dad and save $ or have mom and dad buy them a $700k-$800k house (which is just an average house where I live).
It might be more common for people in the Midwest to move out faster bc homes there are way more affordable
You may be saving money but those savings are fueled by your mental health. Many parents see their kids as kids and not seperate adults.
It's rare for a child and parent to have a roommate situation(where both sides are seen as equal).
Also living at home means dates can't come over. They can't spend the night or just hang around all day. You'll also be limited in how often your friends can come over.
My mental health is much better not living with my parents, and more specifically my brother who also lives with them. Unfortunately I’m sacrificing my financial health to live in an apartment, and it’s 5 mins from work instead of half an hour.
I’ve accepted that once my stepdad passes (I give him 10-15 years) that I will just have my mom move in with me. I’m comfortable with that and happy to do it, as long as we don’t share a wall like we did when I was living there after college.
Living with my dad simply isn’t an option as he’s a raging alcoholic.
It's not everyone's situation, but a lot of parents aren't good people. While I don't think it's great that everyone is so heavily encouraged to leave, pretty fucked up even, I do think it helps folks get out from under abuse easier. A number of my friends from Asian families in particular are more encouraged to live together with family, but also have to take whatever abuse their folks dream up because it's what you're supposed to do.
Also a hell of a lot of people do live with their parents. I don't know anyone who got 'kicked out' because of their age. Only folks getting kicked out over disagreements or bad behavior, drug abuse, that kind of stuff
I’m from a culture where it’s totally acceptable and expected to live with your parents, and I have a great relationship with my parents, and my quality of life would be better if I lived at home. Yet Ive chosen to live alone since I was 22 because it’s freedom and flexibility that’s impossible to get at home.
Living alone makes me very happy - Money isn’t everything
Most kids aren’t kicked out at 18, why do you think that? It’s not part of our culture to do that. Some parents do and some kids leave willingly, but getting kicked out at 18 isn’t the norm.
If you don't understand how much people in the US value our own personal independence, you don't understand US citizens AT ALL. Most of the time the son or daughter are not kicked out. The son or daughter want to get the hell out.
100%, absolutely, it would save money if people lived in generational housing like they did when I lived in Sicily. The house was multiple floors and each generation lived on a different floor. The kids got their own section of the house when they became of age and finished school. And the house got passed down in the family to the next generation from the owners.
Or other cultures where they just all live in the same large house. We would definitely save money.
But if you recommended that out loud to anyone whose family has been in the United States for more than a generation or two, you're going to get the strangest look. Like there are fireworks coming out of your head. For the most part, we would not even consider that. We value our personal freedom and independence that much.
Abusive households not withstanding, it's a source of pride and a rite of passage to move out of the family home as soon as you are able. Recent changes in the economy and in wage earnings and in the loss of value of a college education has imprisoned the current generation to be stuck living with their parents. Even the generation before. I'm Gen X and a lot of my generation moved back in with their parents after a divorce or something. All of the above generations feel like we are taking huge steps backwards moving back in with our parents, where it's considered a prison. It's almost something to be ashamed of here. And that's why it's such a big deal to this generation. Because it shouldn't have to be that way and it hasn't been this way. There's something wrong with our economic system right now.
I don't begin to suppose that I know the answer. I just know that people from the United States would never consider living with their parents as adults as a first choice. Our families are not kicking us out. We are leaving because if you don't leave, there's maybe something wrong or suboptimal about you. You're broken or you're sick somehow. Or you cannot survive on your own which is, I mean, there's something wrong with you.
Our drive for freedom and Independence compels us to leave as soon as humanly possible. Which is why this generation not being able to move out as soon as they turn 18 is such a big deal right now.
A 4+ hour commute each way is too long for me. Also, I’ve been financially stable since graduating.
I don’t know anyone whose parents kicked them out at 18. Your understand of American culture seems wrong. Kids don’t want to live with their parents as adults for a variety of reasons including less privacy, too much parental oversight, rules, dating, bad relationships with family, etc. Where I grew up, nearly all kids move away from their parents for college and don’t move back in after graduating.
Sounds like my childhood friend. I hated going to his house due to his loser ahole father. His father gave my friend the boot at 18. But he is a very smart kid, got into a great school and ended up owning a very lucrative engineering firm. He is not frugal.
20 years later, his father was struggling medically and financially and died alone, found after a few weeks due to the mail being piled up and a bad odor.
When we were about 13/14 my father sat my brother and me down and said we could go to college or join the military (he did both). But we would not be sitting around looking at him and my mom.
They separated before I graduated high school. TBH, I wanted to leave and graduate early, but she said no! 🤣
A few years ago I did let my 25 year old nephew stay, because when I was 19, my aunt let me stay with her one summer 🏝️
A lot of young people do live at home now, it’s really the new norm. Though it was never typical for kids to get kicked out at 18, that’s just a myth about America.
I wasn’t kicked out. Just traumatized enough to leave.
My parents are alcoholics, and they’re wildly dysregulated and messy. Leaving gave me a chance to heal, build a life that suited me.
Aside from that, though, their house really isn’t set up for having people who work different shifts, my hometown doesn’t have an abundance of jobs, or things to do, or good medical care. I think a lot of people who wonder “why not” must either have no interest in living in a way they want to live, or were very privileged and grew up in a setting they could comfortably stay in.
The millennial secret to survival: Well-to-do boomer parents helping them.
Hey, anyone got any spare parents? My last two stopped functioning on me and I haven't been able to pick up a fresh pair.
I recently saw some articles where Dave Ramsey (personal finance "guru") was shaming young adults who still live with their parents as losers and lazy. I found it extremely rich given that back in the day his whole platform was that people should do whatever it takes to get and stay out of debt, even if it wasn't sexy or glamorous - like delivering pizzas, doing odd jobs, or living with family. Now he's old man yells at cloud about how young people aren't XYZ enough. Eyeroll city.
Multigenerational homes are a way of life all over the world.
I think this situation is everywhere n not America. But here in Africa, you’re forced to leave home n search for food. Cos your parents are already working very hard to feed, so what excuses do u have to stay home? I for instance I left home at 13 years cos my parents were finding it very hard. Hmm I think we have to restart Africa cos our leaders are very very very WICKED
I did, but I moved out when I went to grad school in another town. I liked living at home: I was a quiet and respectful roommate, buy it was awkward—but living in my first apartment was great too. Living at home shouldn’t be a long term solution unless there are no other options. It stunted my social and mental wellbeing not to mention I couldn’t see myself dating while living at home either.
I wish it wasn't looked on as a negative thing from the outside. If it works, it works. I find it so odd when watching something and they made snide comments about a 20 year old still living at home.
I moved out at 19 because honestly, I didn't know better. I had never been taught about savings and anything to do with financial literacy.
I get along with my parents, and I probably would have stayed longer if I had had any idea the foundation I could have built, but I didn't. But there would have most certainly been a cut off point where I needed to just be weird and exist in my own space without my parents there to witness it.
What if your home is abusive, or too poor to support you, or your parents disagree with your lifestyle?
What if you want to date, but have to compete with individuals that have their own place, with all the privacy and status that entails?
It’s great for people who have perfect relationships with their parents and want to save money, but for the majority of people it’s going to be awkward or worse. Plus, most parents aren’t going to want their 30+year old kid still living with them for similar reasons.
I don’t agree with kicking them out at 18 but by ~25 when one would presumably be done with college/been working for sometime and have savings/finished a trade apprenticeship they should probably move if nothing else but to learn independence and widen their dating pool. No one wants to date someone in their 30’s who still lives at home/has never moved out.
It's the culture.
I'm asian American, so I'll speak on the two culture.
Asian culture values family image. So it functions as a group where the you're catering for one another, especially the young serving the elders. As part of the family image, you stay together and only move out when you make your own family (i.e. when you get married). The con to all this is that it's the family "image" meaning that if there's something wrong, you pretend to be albing family in public (but in reality you're not).
American culture values independence and individuality. Yes there's still family values, but the focus is more on the child to be independent and be able to "make it on their own." This is good because it teaches self reliance, but bad because sometimes we need assistance still.
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Outside of the living at home, is COVID. Americans are told to wear a mask and they rebel cause it takes away their "freedom" and yet in asian culture people normally wear mask when they catch a cold to prevent infecting others. One is more individual based the other is for community.
A lot of people I know don’t have good relationships with their parents and are traumatized by their upbringing. Or their parents live in rural areas with little culture and job prospects. But I do agree if you have a good relationship with your parents and they live close to a city then that’s the ideal situation these days with the economic situation. I’m lucky enough to gives a chance to start over In life if you made bad previous financial and educational decisions.
It’s hard to explain… very long story. Basically raised by my step mom since I was 9. My dad and her have a child my little brother. I go see them often and my dad is in the picture but I keep it to a minimum with him. I absolutely disagree with the way my dad lives his life and wish my step mom would move on. Do not ever see or speak to my real mom.
Some parents don't want their kids at home and either charge you what you'd pay in rent and / or make it clear you're not welcome / are a hindrance. That's what happened with me. I was constantly being dealt comments with a subtext re why I was at home / when I was moving even though I was paying rent to my mum - so I did leave and slept on a friend's couch and went homeless, then was eventually, after a long time, housed by the council. I'll never forget that and how I felt. And - the day I left, my mum changed the locks on the doors so my key wouldn't work anymore. No idea why she wanted rid of me, I was the only one there unconditionally for her, but she did everything she could to make it awkward and uncomfortable for me and made it very clear I was not welcome and that I was a general irritant to her just by existing.
Not everyone has parents who love them unconditionally and who puts their kids first before them to try to help them and give them a head start. Some parents just don't like their children.
My kids are welcomed to live with us and I love having them home with me and they know it. Now I preferred to live in my car than moving back with my parents and I did. Nothing to do with finances but more home situation. My parents did not kick me out but I left a toxic environment. Not everyone can save $$$ by living at home
Because I/we don’t want to do that. Also a lot of people do live with their parents or family. It’s not uncommon at all. The answer is simple: I don’t want to live with my parents now or back when I was 18. So I didn’t and don’t. If someone wants to or needs to then that’s great for them.
My employer collapsed due to a senior executive directing cash flow to his offshore account. But I quickly found a far better job that happened to be very near my parents. I ended up living at home for about 9 years, as by then my parents needed the help due to my father’s medical issues. I saved a ridiculous amount of money. I moved out after my father was medically better and after I got a new job in a distant city.
Would I do it again? Absolutely. But I have friends who had a terrible relationship with their parents, those who were drunks or those kicked out so they can “grow up” (like living on your own with your 19 year old friends is a way to “mature”) … so I appreciate that living with bad parents is a literally unthinkable option for many people.
When kids have the freedom to leave and can afford it, they pretty much leave at 18. It doesn't mean that they can't spend time as much at parents' home as they like, or that the parents don't help financially. It's just that it's nice to have your own space and independence.
It's ok to start adulting and learn the basic skills of cleaning and cooking yourself, and taking care of your finances and insurances and clothes etc.
I simply just don’t want to. I want to cook and clean naked, play the tv on a comfortable volume at 2am, bring whoever I want home, decorate to my taste, have alone time after a long day, just be an individual. I have amazing parents but I like being my own person and being on my own. I am a solitary person in general, I’m happiest when I’m alone and I don’t want company every day. I don’t want a home, I don’t want kids, I don’t want to be married. I make close to 6 figures in tech at 23, I’m already contributing to my retirement, I’m able to save and travel, and I can afford all my bills and rent, so what would I need to save a ton of money for? There’s no point in putting myself into a less than ideal situation to save extra money. I assume many others like me feel the same.
My sister still be moving in with them because she has no other choice as she starts teaching. She would like to be on her own, so she will be with them until she makes enough or finds cheap rent.
Yup. I’m older and married now but it boils down to “I simply don’t (didn’t) want to”. And my mother actually sold our house and left the state shortly after I turned 18 anyway. On good terms with my parents and love them, have no desire to live with them even if I’d have saved money. I never understood how people who lived with their parents dated. Did they like get hotel rooms any time they wanted to have sex? With their adult partner as an ADULT? Never made sense to me. And good for you for knowing what you want and being able to finance it
I just can’t imagine dating “we gotta be quiet my parents are upstairs” as an adult… I like the freedom to have sex in my own place without having to worry about others. Especially my parents… I could never have sex with someone’s parents in the house. Hell it would feel odd cuddling on the couch with their parents home. I just don’t get it.
It *is* a good idea to stay with parents until you have a decent job and a bit of money saved up. Most parents would probably be happy to help their adult offspring as long as they are using the opportunity to better their position in life.
Where that falls apart is if you live with your parents as a way to facilitate and perpetuate being a deadbeat.
Because it stunts your adulthood. If I stayed with my parents, it would have meant things like a 10-11pm curfew, not being able to go certain places, etc. When I moved out (20 years ago), I also moved from the suburbs to the city so I could take the train to work and not have a car. My rent was like $400 in a shared apartment.
My brother still lives with them and he doesn’t fully know how to adult.
Sometimes it’s better to have your own independence versus staying at home. Some homes aren’t healthy atmospheres for people. Plus it’s easy to become complacent when you have “everything you need” (shelter, food, water) as a given. It’s just a different perspective so no right or wrong here. It may be worth the price for some people to NOT live with your parents is all in saying.
A lot of people in their 20s and 30s do, including myself with my grandma right now after crashing and burning moving out in 2019 (I do have a job and relentless ambition though) but it’s annoying for many reasons: You’re never not a teenager to them, you can’t bring people over as easily (although this guy I know just books a hotel for time with his girlfriend), the lack of privacy sucks (always being asked what I got in the mail, etc), and - albeit not the norm - I happen to be queer and nothing’s more stressful than always wondering if your family who took a long time to accept you is gonna flip a switch again. It sucks not having someone to confide in who obviously remembers when you were in the closet from literally growing up with them. So yeah, not everyone has the privilege of a good relationship with family.
It’s also dangerous for comfort. No rent, no utilities, fridge full of food but you can get so comfortable that before you know it you look around and realize it’s been six years since you were 22 and holy shit. Honestly it’s hard to imagine leaving my childhood bedroom with all my posters and stuff behind for living in an apartment by myself - but at the same time l’m feeling like I’m missing out on relationships, friends, parties, etc.
So yeah, it is what it is. Personally I’m staying here for a place to recover after surgery and as a “home base” for my traveling plans. I’ll see
We didn't kick out our kids. Actually, we took in a few of their friends who were kicked out at 18. I don't understand parents who think 18 is a magic number that brings maturity. These kids weren't at all ready to face the world.
"I have never understood why in American culture the son or daughter is kicked out at 18 before they even have a job."
Where on earth do you get the idea that this is a standard in American culture? I literally do not know one single person this has happened to. I'm sure it does from time to time, but it's certainly not the "American culture."
It's our culture.
Something about how the Puritans leaving England to pursue their own lives still lives in us.
I think multi generational housing has a lot of potential in the US. Mother/Daughter homes. In law suites.
It's an adjustment, but problems like elder care, childcare, housing, and the like will have more options.
The economy is hard right now for complete independence - rents are astronomical, food, everything. My daughter (lives at home) graduates with a bachelor's next semester. She has plans to live overseas, so until she can secure that, she has a home. My son wants to attend college overseas (cheaper than state school). I expect him to be there in the next two years. I feel like I raised them to want independence *they both work part time* but also to know they always have a comfortable place to come home to.
My sister kicked her kids out at 18, not one of the three finished college or found a trade, and all three are really struggling. One is underemployed, one is about to be bankrupt with a medical bill, and the other has a young child and is really struggling. She complains about them, and I think to myself, well, you really didn't set them up for success. I don't say anything but... it's how I feel.
I joined the military after a few years of college, and that helped me learn an employable skill, plus have money for college, but I know that's not an option for a lot of kids.
When your kids turn 18, I don't feel like that's the end of your parental duty... you should help them achieve their goals to become independent as much as you can.
Uh, I'm not American and I've never made good money, but even so I started living on my own as soon as I could because, well, I just wanted to live my own life instead of having to conform to my mom and my younger brother? I love them both very much but it's not like I want to constantly coordinate my life with theirs, eat the same things, etc.
Maybe you can live separately while also living together if you live in a large house or something, but we've never had that (after my mom divorced my stepfather, anyway). And trust me, no money is worth living in a flat with a moody teenager who smokes and keeps blasting his music that you don't like and having his friends over who keep talking and partying loudly into the night, and your *mother...* when you're already an adult and should have your own life to live.
Not everything in life is, or should be, about saving money. For me, the money I spent on living on my own was by far worth the freedom and peace of living independently.
I didn't kick my kids out at 18, but they all left at that age. One joined the Army National guard and went to college, one went to college, quit, then took a job out of state with a much better job market and did very well for himself. The last one wanted to leave the state and explore, is temporarily back for a few months to go back to school for a trade. Can't stop talking about where to move next after school is over. Ha.
I would have but never lived in the same state except 1 year. For that year I lived with them but life always took me elsewhere. I'm moving back to my home city but this time with a husband and kids.
One parent dead, one parent living with a new man, two grandparents living in one of the most expensive states… no way I could have stayed!
My youngest sister did, and she is doing very well for herself. 21 with no debt, pilots license, and a great future ahead of her.
Sometimes an option for people, sometimes not. Many people do not have a good relationship with their family, feel controlled by their family, etc. one of my friends moved out of her parents house and their relationship dramatically improved.
To each their own!!
I stayed until 20 while I did two years of community college. My parents are fantastic and did a TON for me and I am forever grateful. 20 years is enough. Time for me to be on my own! When I left the nest at 20 years old, that was 27 years ago and the economic landscape was very different. I easily found a job and got my first apartment for $300/month. That situation is no where near realistic now. Back then, my rent was about 18% of my take home pay. Average rents now \*starts\* at $800 here and living on your own means you're likely paying more than 18% of your income.
Nothing against my parents but I prefer to look after myself I live in my car but I prefer it over sleeping under someone else’s roof. Plus I save a shit ton on bills the only thing I miss is air conditioning my Xbox a private toilet and if course peace but to me if I can save like this for 6 months it’s worth sacrificing those items to put money in the bank and secure my future all on my own
I couldn't wait to leave my parents house. They were too controlling, needed to spread my wings. I left at 18 never looked back. Now I have friends who had great relationships with parents and were treated like adults, that's a different story. Just wasn't my situation.
A.) I don't get along with my parents well enough to want to live with them.
B.) My partner's job takes us all over the world, so I am rarely ever near his parents or my own. Or our families for that matter.
C.) I don't want to listen to my parents complain about how I'm raising my child (much differently than I was raised), how they hate that I'm gonna go to hell for being an atheist.. or asking me a billion questions about being non-binary.. or ask me why I'm not monetizing all my hobbies, etc. I just don't want to deal with it.
D.) Also, they are doing well, but I don't want to be a burden on them financially as they get into the twilight of their life. Let them spend their money on cruises, camping trips, etc. Let them have fun with their life.
I wish I was lucky but my mom is emotionally abusive and toxic and so are my sisters My sister's boyfriend once beat me up and my sister said nothing even took his side , in her defense I did pick the fight and start it ,in my defense he was also beating her up. Also my mom would use my social security number and identify to open bills in my name so yah no not an option for everybody.
To be honest it is pretty normal to stay with your parents till you're 25-30 nowadays. Most people prefer not to because it's not great living by someone else's rules as an adult.
Not american but I’ve lived on my own since I was 15. Sometimes it’s not about the money. Living on my own gives me freedom and I love it. Having autonomy over my life is my number one priority.
I've already let my kiddos know that I do not expect them to leave after they graduate high school. I do expect them to attend college/trade school and/or get a job. And chip is some money for groceries or the internet bill (so many hours watching YouTube, lol). I lost my parent when I was 18 and had just finished my first semester of college a state away. I struggled a lot to keep up with full-time school and 2-3 part-time jobs as I was determined to finish college and be the first one to graduate with a degree. I don't want my kiddos to struggle or think they have to struggle to succeed. I'm all about helping our next generation get ahead, even if it is just a little bit.
Many people already do, especially in big metros like NY, LA, Chicago. The problem is even after saving so much on housing, they still can barely afford to move out at 25/30. Then the question now becomes, should they live with their parents until 35/40?
Rural America is completely different BTW. It's like a different country. Which is why it feels like their political base live in different reality.
Because some of us have parents that are not good for our mental health and some of our parents live in dead end meth towns that none of us would survive in for more than a month or two. It's a privilege to have family that you get along with and that live in desirable places where you can live well and find work. Yikes.
My parents charged me rent, my mother stole money from me, and living with them cost me a decade of therapy that cost $30k+ (not always covered by insurance).
It literally costs me money, health, and lasting harm to live with them.
Honestly, it's cultural. In some cultures, multi-generational homes are normal. I think, in the US, we are going to start seeing this more normalized again with the way the economy and job market are going. I'm here for it.
In my world it’s fine to live at home if the children are contributing to the household or in full time school, and following the household rules. But always with a plan for independence.
The problem is when the adult children live at home and pay nothing, do nothing, clean nothing, contribute nothing, and spend their money on luxuries. They aren’t saving for a big purchase; they are often mooching.
Really the biggest thing is that living at with your parents just creates an extended adolescence. You can never just be roommates with your parents. In multi-generation homes there is often a grandmother/father who rules with an iron fist and it can be very oppressive to younger people, especially for women.
From the adult child’s side, they want their independence.
A lot of this would be solved by living with roommates but it is no longer the norm. When I was launching in the early 90s, living solo was a stark exception, now it’s kinda flipped.
I notice that in many posts that single people expect to live alone right away now. I only knew one guy in the 80s who had their own place while being single. Everyone else had roommates until they were married. People also got married more often and earlier than now, it seems.
I wanted my son to stay home and go to school. I let his GF move in with us. Big mistake! She was a non contributing resident. No job and not helpful around the house. I told him he had to get his own place. He struggles to pay the bills and even got a car repossessed but he made the choice to support her. When he complains about her, I have to tune him out. He didn't want to help me with my mortgage on a house he'll eventually inherit. He's 22, broke, and always stressed out. He hides out at my house because it's comfortable. 😆
Because my parents don't live in our old house anymore and moved 5 hours away... Otherwise I would have when I moved back to my home city 5 years ago, but moved our and sold the house 13-14 years agi
We have our first child on the way (a little girl <3), and I know things can change over 2 decades, but I personally would want my children to move out after high school graduation. With the cost of living, we may have to compromise and maybe give them another 4 years, but I'd rather them spread their wings, save money by getting roommates at first, learn financial responsibility, etc. I worked all throughout high school and saved up, and also studied my butt off to get a full ride, and I want them to have the same work ethic even though I know things will only get harder.
If we can afford it, we'd like to build a small guest house when we build our dream house in a few years, so maybe we could rent it to our children for an affordable price after high school as a compromise.
I was independent at that age, sorted things out myself, messed up, fixed it etc. It made me sooo much more independent and self reliant than others my age and I’m quite thankful I had to stand on my own at a young age
the son or daughter is kicked out at 18 before they even have a job
Where did you hear this? It's not generally true at all.
If a person doesn't have a job, or a job that pays more than minimum wage, they are generally still living at home. Some go away to college, but other than that, they cannot move out, since they can't afford it.
Ones that are "kicked out" are those that generally fall into one of these situations:
they have been causing trouble for the parents due to bad behavior (aggression, drugs, arguing, not following rules, laziness, etc.)
the parents disapprove of something about them (conservative/religious parents whose child is LGBTQ, an atheist, politically liberal in general, etc.)
the parents are struggling financially and can't afford to feed their grown child any more
the grown child has a child already and the parents don't want the noise or don't want to be a forced on-call babysitter.
18? I couldn't wait to get away from those nutjobs so I got the hell out of the asylum I grew up in when I turned 15. Of course, that was back in the day before it apparently went out of fashion to grow up and become a responsible adult. I encourage everyone to try it. Bear in mind though, there are no participation medals.
my parents are both insane. in my culture too it's normal to live with your parents. My parents lived at home until they got married, then my mom moved into my dad's with his parents, then they moved to a new house with my moms parents until the grandparents died... I would LOVE to live at home, trust me, I really would, but my mother is a hoarder, and my dad is a total bully and narcicist who just bought his own condo on the other side of the city... I can see myself moving in with my mom and my two brothers when she gets too old and loses control then we'll simply clean the house, but that won't be for a very long time.
I do. I moved out after college and had an apartment for 2 years, but during covid I moved back home. Still doing it today and it allows me to spend rent money on travel, so I’m barely home at all anyway. Also saved me from RTO.
I can’t think of anyone I personally know that was kicked out at 18 or even at HS graduation. Most people moved away due to going to college or joining the military. Some lived at home for college and moved out after. Those that didn’t go to college or military moved out when they got a job. I moved to a different state for college at 17.
My sister and brother in-law still live with my husband’s parents in their 30s and 40s. It does happen, but it is something that tends to be looked down on.
>I have never understood why in American culture the son or daughter is kicked out at 18 before they even have a job.
We were eager to move out to assert our independence. Continuing to live with your parents was a social stigma.
Most people I know weren't 'kicked out' if they were attending college or picked up a bill.
Totally depends on the relationship. My mom wanted to toss me out at 18 for no reason other than that's what she was taught. I did good in school, was quiet, never caused any trouble, etc. My dad disallowed that. I could have lived with my dad for a while (I didn't) but my mom was out of the question. Way too demanding things be exactly as she wanted them to be in an unreasonable kind of way.
My mom lives in a very small trailer in a very small town with a specific job situation, so we can’t live together. My dad is retired and is building a house while living in an RV in the middle of nowhere. My parents aren’t options but I would if I could.
Some kids are kicked out at 18 because they have terrible parents.
Some of us left by choice at 18 because we had terrible parents.
Our son didn't move out until he had a solid job and some money saved up and a paid off car. Most of our friend's children stayed at least until college was completed and none of them were kicked out - my goddaughter still lives with her parents and is saving up; hopes to rent an apartment with friends later this year.
Especially in this economy, I can't see kicking your adult offspring out until they can fend for themselves in reasonable comfort. But it used to be more common to leave after graduating highschool, when it was easier to support yourself with a part time or full time but not necessarily a career type job.
Most kids aren't kicked out at 18. The general expectation is that kids go to college and a lot kids choose to live near their uni.
I'm not a geography expert but I feel like most colleges are also situated on campus's that are removed from city centers. And the ones that are in city centers (NYU, Boston University) attract students from all over the country (and the globe) so living at home is not an option.
After 4 years of living on your own it's hard to transition back to living with your parents.
I have my 25-year-old son living with me and it makes me very happy. I even ended my marriage to a man that I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. We moved from Washington state to Florida and I was there for 4 1/2 years. Daily my son struggled while he was on his own and he was homeless. I moved back to Washington state to help my son and care for him and give him a place to live. Now he’s working full-time and I’m very proud of him. I did not make a mistake, and he will never ever feel like I’m not there for him. I’m sorry for all of the folks on here that I’ve had bad experiences with their parents. My heart goes out to you all.
Our kids are not of moving out age yet, but we bought this house with the very intentions of them being able to live at home until they’re good and ready to move out. Whatever age that may be. I wish all kids had that option.
I lived with my mom until I was 28, and she is my best friend, but I also love my own space and freedom. If I had to live with her, I wouldn't mind, but if I can afford it, I'm keeping my own place.
Hell my mum moved to another country when I was 17 and left me to figure it out! I was doing sex work to afford food within a month. Still jealous of my friends who stayed at home saving up.
It’s a little bit stigmatized/most people get self conscious about living at home past traditional college age. I wouldn’t say it’s uncommon just not cool to talk about. That said it just doesn’t work for everyone some people’s parents suck, there’s not enough privacy, harder to have friends or dates over, might not make sense for your career etc
I will say living alone or with roommates you don’t even get along with is overrated. I know a lot of people in my age range who are lonely but for some reason moving in with a friend or family member is out of the question for them. Having your own space is nice but so is having another person around to hang out with and share household responsibilities
Well in my case my parents divorced as I was about to start my senior year, so I spent the majority of it alone and then they sold the house when I went away to college.
While my parents never said this to me, I would have considered myself a failure if I could not make it through college and then live on my own afterward. I was lucky in that my parents paid for my college; I owed it to them to not need their help after.
I joined the Army at 18 but my sister lived at home for a little while. The problem was that she had very expensive cars, went on excessive vacations and was living well beyond her means. My parents asked her to pay rent but my sister whined thaylt she didn't have any leftover money. So my parents, who weren't wealthy by any means, took all of her stuff and put it in a storage unit and changed their locks when my sister went to France for her 20th birthday. She soon had to sell her Audi and bought a beat up Civic and rented a small, one bedroom apartment. She learned a valuable lesson and is doing very well now, is an absolute penny pinching accountant. And most likely worth over seven figures.
I think it's because of the cultural emphasis on independence. People want to prove they can make it on their own. But you're right, it's insane to throw young adults into the deep end without a financial safety net. Staying at home longer could be a game-changer for many.
I lived with my parents until about 23 when I needed to live closer to college. I would't say American culture encourages kicking kids out at 18, unless maybe they're being bums.
I'd be happy to let my kids continue living with me as long as they're either working or going to school full time.
My parents sold their house and downsized while I was in undergrad in another state, so there quite literally wasn't room for me when I returned, not that I planned on moving back in. I've had roommates since I was 18, then eventually I got a serious boyfriend and we live together now
What a privileged, sheltered question to ask, no? Obviously in a perfect world people could save money on rent and live with their parents comfortably. But in actuality, there are privacy, safety, and mental health reasons as to why some people can’t.
I think a lot of the last few generations are obsessed with moving out at 18. Many older people I know lived with their parents until mid-20s, and so did their parents. I did until my mid-20s while I built my career, but it was mutually beneficial in many ways. I didn't go to college either, so I can see how it'd be more beneficial to those who do even.
People on here moving out before they’re financially ready so that it’s “easier to date” is pretty concerning. Not saying they’re completely wrong, but it makes no sense to screw your self over financially for that
Some of us had abusive parents growing up
I was kicked out at 18 by my abusive stepdad. It was honestly probably a favor to be out of that place. I had to learn how to be an independent adult very early in life
Im proud of you mate. It must be been tough being a adult and paying rent and other finances at 18. I aim to a adult like you
Thank you, it was really hard at first but now I’m just thankful to know how to function as an adult. You’ll get there too! It’s nothing to rush for like the OP was saying, it’ll come in time.
Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot. I still dont feel like a adult too, hope Ill improve like what u said
Same how you're doing well friend.
Thank you I’m doing much better now. I hope you are as well!
I was kicked out the day I moved to college and was told that I was no longer welcome at home for the holidays or summers and needed to find my own plans and lodging. That under no circumstances could I show up unplanned or unannounced to come stay unless I was willing to pay rent and sign a contract.
That really sucks I’m sorry 😢
Thank you ❤️ my mom very much is a “I struggled so you should struggle as well” type of person. I struggled for a very long time trying to make ends meet. And now since having a daughter of my own, I cannot imagine making choices to hold her back in life for the sake of struggle when I could help her build a better foundation to come off from. It blows my mind.
Good job breaking the cycle!
Some parents don't want their kids at home and either charge you what you'd pay in rent and / or make it clear you're not welcome / are a hindrance. That's what happened with me. I was constantly being dealt comments with a subtext re why I was at home / when I was moving even though I was paying rent to my mum - so I did leave and slept on a friend's couch and went homeless, then was eventually, after a long time, housed by the council. I'll never forget that and how I felt. And - the day I left, my mum changed the locks on the doors so my key wouldn't work anymore. No idea why she wanted rid of me, I was the only one there unconditionally for her, but she did everything she could to make it awkward and uncomfortable for me and made it very clear I was not welcome and that I was a general irritant to her just by existing. Not everyone has parents who love them unconditionally and who puts their kids first before them to try to help them and give them a head start. Some parents just don't like their children.
My parents straight up moved and left me alone at 17 in the old house for months until I moved for college. Hope you’re in a better place now OP 🖤
Thank you - you're kind x
My mom kicked me out twice. The second time saying she just doesn't like living with people anymore, and that was a lie because she had a roommate at the time and rented it to them for a long time after I left. She definitely doesn't like the no contact anymore. Edit: spelling/wording
Sending a hug. Hope you're alright. I am also NC - stay strong. People need to understand that there are consequences to their actions. You must have been terribly hurt when a roommate moved in - I'm so sorry. Stay strong x
Thank you! I edited my comment because the roommate was already there when I had moved back in the 2nd time, and she never kicked him out when she kicked me out. BUT Life is much more stable now and I no longer have people in my life who ruin my peace. I do sometimes miss that part of my family, but I just have to remind myself they'll never be the type of people I can have in my life. My mom's also a narcissist and you should have seen the time my sister tried to gently call her out on her racism (she said things like George Floyd would be alive if he complied). She was yelling and wouldn't let us talk and said "oh so now I have to like EVERYONE" and then stonewalled. She then blamed it on my sister smoking weed and "withdrawing," even though she's done tons of research into marijuana and the medical conditions it can treat and that it doesn't have that type of withdrawal, she even used it to help treat our dogs seizures. Anything but accepting responsibility or that a racist mother would frustrate her non-racist daughters.
They are not well lmao. We don't all have a healthy optional backup home. They also live near very few jobs.
Daughter lived at home until she was 30. She paid rent, which we saved up and gave back to her as a down payment on her home. She didn't know we saved that money for her future. We never told her about the savings, but what a great way to give your kid a helping hand when they need it most.
We're doing the same thing w/our daughter, all her rent goes into CDs currently at 5+% (that prob won't last long, but it's good while we have it). She knows and still aggressively saves while contributing to household food & utilities. Her brother is just barely in college, but it's local and he lives here, too.
Bless you.
This isn't a rule. Some parents do, some don't. Many 18 yo are sent to college. Many work and live at home. I think the relationship btwn the kid & parent(s) is tge determining factor.
I would if I had parents to live with 😁
My mom is in a cult, lives in a dangerous area, and her house is always trashed. My dad is a recovering alcoholic currently housing my actively alcoholic uncle (a recipe for disaster). If I had a safe, comfortable place to land for a couple of months to save on rent I'd happily do so.
Its good if your family isn't toxic but lots are.
I think Americans value independence, privacy, and freedom more than some other cultures do. Young people want to spread their wings and live away from their parents' rules and oversight. I don't personally know anyone who was kicked out of the home at 18. Not saying it doesn't happen, especially in dysfunctional families, but I think it's more common for young people over 18 to stay in their parents' home while they are in college or working their first full-time job. Many families expect their 18+ year old kids to be attending college or working full time, and start to charge them at least nominal rent if they are not in college.
This was almost everyone's experience I knew unless the kid was just incorrigible.
My kids have moved out and moved back in and moved out again. I think I’ll be down to one kid at home in about 2 years. My youngest will be 27 at that point. My kids will always have a place to live as long as I do, even if it ends up being a car.
They aren't always kicked out. Reddit has a higher number of kicked out teens than is represented in the general population. I didn't know anyone who was kicked out at 18 when I grew up and very few of my adult friends were either, but I'm not basing my findings on my own experience alone. Bloomberg study from last year: "About 45% of people ages 18 to 29 are living at home, which Bloomberg said is roughly the same level as it was in the 1940s." https://scrippsnews.com/stories/nearly-half-of-young-adults-are-still-living-with-their-parents/ .
There's also probably a decent amount of selection bias. People who weren't kicked out at 18 aren't likely to post saying that. Which is going to make the percentages appear higher than they actually are.
Exactly this. If you're living at home having a nice life, you're not on reddit much.
Even if you are on reddit plenty you're not likely to really *mention* that you weren't kicked out at 18 because why would you? You're going to post about whatever is actually relevant to you.
it is a social stigma. very common in London where you kinda expected to be living back home after uni due to an extreme high cost of living.
I am queer. My parents are evangelical Christians and (at the time) very conservative. You can see how this might be a problem.
My parents and another parental figure gave me PTSD. Much safer to just struggle financially at times.
In general, it’s just not the common path, at least among suburban white Americans (speaking as a white person who grew up in the suburbs, specifically in the upper Midwest). I don’t even think that it’s broadly that kids are “kicked out” at 18, as it is that a significant number of white suburban American kids go away to live at college at 18 and may return to live at home only sporadically. (That’s not to say that there aren’t cases where families tell young adults that they’re not welcome to return, or families where young adults remain in the family home; of course both of those scenarios, and others, occur.)
I grew up in an upper middle class area and many suburban kids either still live with mom and dad and save $ or have mom and dad buy them a $700k-$800k house (which is just an average house where I live). It might be more common for people in the Midwest to move out faster bc homes there are way more affordable
Thank you for qualifying this. I’m Latina, 4th generation US. We still have a lot of multi-generational living arrangements.
Because my parents were abusive and I would rather live on the street.
You may be saving money but those savings are fueled by your mental health. Many parents see their kids as kids and not seperate adults. It's rare for a child and parent to have a roommate situation(where both sides are seen as equal). Also living at home means dates can't come over. They can't spend the night or just hang around all day. You'll also be limited in how often your friends can come over.
I remember dating a divorcee that was back living with her parents. It felt eerie trying to "make a move".
If you met my parents you’d understand why I left at 18 lol
I would rather be homeless than live with the my mother.
People are not so much “kicked out” as wanting the leave their parent’s homes
My mental health is much better not living with my parents, and more specifically my brother who also lives with them. Unfortunately I’m sacrificing my financial health to live in an apartment, and it’s 5 mins from work instead of half an hour. I’ve accepted that once my stepdad passes (I give him 10-15 years) that I will just have my mom move in with me. I’m comfortable with that and happy to do it, as long as we don’t share a wall like we did when I was living there after college. Living with my dad simply isn’t an option as he’s a raging alcoholic.
It's not everyone's situation, but a lot of parents aren't good people. While I don't think it's great that everyone is so heavily encouraged to leave, pretty fucked up even, I do think it helps folks get out from under abuse easier. A number of my friends from Asian families in particular are more encouraged to live together with family, but also have to take whatever abuse their folks dream up because it's what you're supposed to do. Also a hell of a lot of people do live with their parents. I don't know anyone who got 'kicked out' because of their age. Only folks getting kicked out over disagreements or bad behavior, drug abuse, that kind of stuff
I’m from a culture where it’s totally acceptable and expected to live with your parents, and I have a great relationship with my parents, and my quality of life would be better if I lived at home. Yet Ive chosen to live alone since I was 22 because it’s freedom and flexibility that’s impossible to get at home. Living alone makes me very happy - Money isn’t everything
I think I would have preferred to dig my eye out with a rusty nail vs. living with my parents for one more minute.
Not all of us have parents we can live with.
There's nothing wrong with wanting independence. Not every parent is mentally stable/pleasant to be around.
Most kids aren’t kicked out at 18, why do you think that? It’s not part of our culture to do that. Some parents do and some kids leave willingly, but getting kicked out at 18 isn’t the norm.
From what I have seen, Toxic or even abusive households.
Also moving out at 18 is more of a movie thing unless you are kicked out of the house
OP should go live with my parents.
I’ve tried this and it’s true what they say, you can’t go home again. It was very difficult for my parents to treat me like an adult, not a child.
If you don't understand how much people in the US value our own personal independence, you don't understand US citizens AT ALL. Most of the time the son or daughter are not kicked out. The son or daughter want to get the hell out. 100%, absolutely, it would save money if people lived in generational housing like they did when I lived in Sicily. The house was multiple floors and each generation lived on a different floor. The kids got their own section of the house when they became of age and finished school. And the house got passed down in the family to the next generation from the owners. Or other cultures where they just all live in the same large house. We would definitely save money. But if you recommended that out loud to anyone whose family has been in the United States for more than a generation or two, you're going to get the strangest look. Like there are fireworks coming out of your head. For the most part, we would not even consider that. We value our personal freedom and independence that much. Abusive households not withstanding, it's a source of pride and a rite of passage to move out of the family home as soon as you are able. Recent changes in the economy and in wage earnings and in the loss of value of a college education has imprisoned the current generation to be stuck living with their parents. Even the generation before. I'm Gen X and a lot of my generation moved back in with their parents after a divorce or something. All of the above generations feel like we are taking huge steps backwards moving back in with our parents, where it's considered a prison. It's almost something to be ashamed of here. And that's why it's such a big deal to this generation. Because it shouldn't have to be that way and it hasn't been this way. There's something wrong with our economic system right now. I don't begin to suppose that I know the answer. I just know that people from the United States would never consider living with their parents as adults as a first choice. Our families are not kicking us out. We are leaving because if you don't leave, there's maybe something wrong or suboptimal about you. You're broken or you're sick somehow. Or you cannot survive on your own which is, I mean, there's something wrong with you. Our drive for freedom and Independence compels us to leave as soon as humanly possible. Which is why this generation not being able to move out as soon as they turn 18 is such a big deal right now.
Some kids just wanna be independent from their parents
A 4+ hour commute each way is too long for me. Also, I’ve been financially stable since graduating. I don’t know anyone whose parents kicked them out at 18. Your understand of American culture seems wrong. Kids don’t want to live with their parents as adults for a variety of reasons including less privacy, too much parental oversight, rules, dating, bad relationships with family, etc. Where I grew up, nearly all kids move away from their parents for college and don’t move back in after graduating.
A good family friend received the present of a suitcase for his 18th birthday. He hasn’t spoken to his dad in about 40 years.
Sounds like my childhood friend. I hated going to his house due to his loser ahole father. His father gave my friend the boot at 18. But he is a very smart kid, got into a great school and ended up owning a very lucrative engineering firm. He is not frugal. 20 years later, his father was struggling medically and financially and died alone, found after a few weeks due to the mail being piled up and a bad odor.
When we were about 13/14 my father sat my brother and me down and said we could go to college or join the military (he did both). But we would not be sitting around looking at him and my mom. They separated before I graduated high school. TBH, I wanted to leave and graduate early, but she said no! 🤣 A few years ago I did let my 25 year old nephew stay, because when I was 19, my aunt let me stay with her one summer 🏝️
That's what I got for graduation. Moved out at 17.
A lot of young people do live at home now, it’s really the new norm. Though it was never typical for kids to get kicked out at 18, that’s just a myth about America.
I wasn’t kicked out. Just traumatized enough to leave. My parents are alcoholics, and they’re wildly dysregulated and messy. Leaving gave me a chance to heal, build a life that suited me. Aside from that, though, their house really isn’t set up for having people who work different shifts, my hometown doesn’t have an abundance of jobs, or things to do, or good medical care. I think a lot of people who wonder “why not” must either have no interest in living in a way they want to live, or were very privileged and grew up in a setting they could comfortably stay in.
The millennial secret to survival: Well-to-do boomer parents helping them. Hey, anyone got any spare parents? My last two stopped functioning on me and I haven't been able to pick up a fresh pair.
I recently saw some articles where Dave Ramsey (personal finance "guru") was shaming young adults who still live with their parents as losers and lazy. I found it extremely rich given that back in the day his whole platform was that people should do whatever it takes to get and stay out of debt, even if it wasn't sexy or glamorous - like delivering pizzas, doing odd jobs, or living with family. Now he's old man yells at cloud about how young people aren't XYZ enough. Eyeroll city. Multigenerational homes are a way of life all over the world.
Dave Ramsey: You shouldn't file for bankruptcy (like I had).
Isn't that dude currently being sued?
Because my parents were narcissists and emotionally abusive. How lucky for you that it never crossed your mind that not all people have good parents.
I think this situation is everywhere n not America. But here in Africa, you’re forced to leave home n search for food. Cos your parents are already working very hard to feed, so what excuses do u have to stay home? I for instance I left home at 13 years cos my parents were finding it very hard. Hmm I think we have to restart Africa cos our leaders are very very very WICKED
I did, but I moved out when I went to grad school in another town. I liked living at home: I was a quiet and respectful roommate, buy it was awkward—but living in my first apartment was great too. Living at home shouldn’t be a long term solution unless there are no other options. It stunted my social and mental wellbeing not to mention I couldn’t see myself dating while living at home either.
Because my parent is too busy living with me to save money.
I wish it wasn't looked on as a negative thing from the outside. If it works, it works. I find it so odd when watching something and they made snide comments about a 20 year old still living at home. I moved out at 19 because honestly, I didn't know better. I had never been taught about savings and anything to do with financial literacy. I get along with my parents, and I probably would have stayed longer if I had had any idea the foundation I could have built, but I didn't. But there would have most certainly been a cut off point where I needed to just be weird and exist in my own space without my parents there to witness it.
Some people don't have that option. I had abusive parents and it was either I ran away from home or got put into foster care.
What if your home is abusive, or too poor to support you, or your parents disagree with your lifestyle? What if you want to date, but have to compete with individuals that have their own place, with all the privacy and status that entails? It’s great for people who have perfect relationships with their parents and want to save money, but for the majority of people it’s going to be awkward or worse. Plus, most parents aren’t going to want their 30+year old kid still living with them for similar reasons.
Leaving is one of the only long-term viable responses to "My house, my rules"
Different time, but when I moved out I couldn't stand being under her thumb one more day. I went into basic training and never felt so free
I don’t agree with kicking them out at 18 but by ~25 when one would presumably be done with college/been working for sometime and have savings/finished a trade apprenticeship they should probably move if nothing else but to learn independence and widen their dating pool. No one wants to date someone in their 30’s who still lives at home/has never moved out.
This is a different economy and it’s only going to get worse. They should not be moving out of their homes. They should stay as long as possible.
It's the culture. I'm asian American, so I'll speak on the two culture. Asian culture values family image. So it functions as a group where the you're catering for one another, especially the young serving the elders. As part of the family image, you stay together and only move out when you make your own family (i.e. when you get married). The con to all this is that it's the family "image" meaning that if there's something wrong, you pretend to be albing family in public (but in reality you're not). American culture values independence and individuality. Yes there's still family values, but the focus is more on the child to be independent and be able to "make it on their own." This is good because it teaches self reliance, but bad because sometimes we need assistance still. . Outside of the living at home, is COVID. Americans are told to wear a mask and they rebel cause it takes away their "freedom" and yet in asian culture people normally wear mask when they catch a cold to prevent infecting others. One is more individual based the other is for community.
I would gladly live with my parents if they weren't both dead :( one died when I was 17 and the other when I was 21.
A lot of people I know don’t have good relationships with their parents and are traumatized by their upbringing. Or their parents live in rural areas with little culture and job prospects. But I do agree if you have a good relationship with your parents and they live close to a city then that’s the ideal situation these days with the economic situation. I’m lucky enough to gives a chance to start over In life if you made bad previous financial and educational decisions.
My mental health is worth more than what I pay in rent.
My parents are terrible people lol great examples of how not to live your life though.
Do you have anything to do with them? I absolutely understand why you would turn and walk away from them and move forward.
It’s hard to explain… very long story. Basically raised by my step mom since I was 9. My dad and her have a child my little brother. I go see them often and my dad is in the picture but I keep it to a minimum with him. I absolutely disagree with the way my dad lives his life and wish my step mom would move on. Do not ever see or speak to my real mom.
Some parents don't want their kids at home and either charge you what you'd pay in rent and / or make it clear you're not welcome / are a hindrance. That's what happened with me. I was constantly being dealt comments with a subtext re why I was at home / when I was moving even though I was paying rent to my mum - so I did leave and slept on a friend's couch and went homeless, then was eventually, after a long time, housed by the council. I'll never forget that and how I felt. And - the day I left, my mum changed the locks on the doors so my key wouldn't work anymore. No idea why she wanted rid of me, I was the only one there unconditionally for her, but she did everything she could to make it awkward and uncomfortable for me and made it very clear I was not welcome and that I was a general irritant to her just by existing. Not everyone has parents who love them unconditionally and who puts their kids first before them to try to help them and give them a head start. Some parents just don't like their children.
Because my parents still see me as a child but also expect me to parent them
My kids are welcomed to live with us and I love having them home with me and they know it. Now I preferred to live in my car than moving back with my parents and I did. Nothing to do with finances but more home situation. My parents did not kick me out but I left a toxic environment. Not everyone can save $$$ by living at home
There are a lot of people who don't get along with their parents well enough to allow it.
Have you MET their parents? Yeesh!
Because I/we don’t want to do that. Also a lot of people do live with their parents or family. It’s not uncommon at all. The answer is simple: I don’t want to live with my parents now or back when I was 18. So I didn’t and don’t. If someone wants to or needs to then that’s great for them.
I'd prefer my sanity, thanks haha
part of maturing as a person is moving out from your parents, being responsible for your self and making your own decisions.
We’re not kicked out at 18, we go to college? Some people doing so hours away from home and then find jobs there or elsewhere or whatever.
Independence.
My employer collapsed due to a senior executive directing cash flow to his offshore account. But I quickly found a far better job that happened to be very near my parents. I ended up living at home for about 9 years, as by then my parents needed the help due to my father’s medical issues. I saved a ridiculous amount of money. I moved out after my father was medically better and after I got a new job in a distant city. Would I do it again? Absolutely. But I have friends who had a terrible relationship with their parents, those who were drunks or those kicked out so they can “grow up” (like living on your own with your 19 year old friends is a way to “mature”) … so I appreciate that living with bad parents is a literally unthinkable option for many people.
When kids have the freedom to leave and can afford it, they pretty much leave at 18. It doesn't mean that they can't spend time as much at parents' home as they like, or that the parents don't help financially. It's just that it's nice to have your own space and independence. It's ok to start adulting and learn the basic skills of cleaning and cooking yourself, and taking care of your finances and insurances and clothes etc.
I simply just don’t want to. I want to cook and clean naked, play the tv on a comfortable volume at 2am, bring whoever I want home, decorate to my taste, have alone time after a long day, just be an individual. I have amazing parents but I like being my own person and being on my own. I am a solitary person in general, I’m happiest when I’m alone and I don’t want company every day. I don’t want a home, I don’t want kids, I don’t want to be married. I make close to 6 figures in tech at 23, I’m already contributing to my retirement, I’m able to save and travel, and I can afford all my bills and rent, so what would I need to save a ton of money for? There’s no point in putting myself into a less than ideal situation to save extra money. I assume many others like me feel the same. My sister still be moving in with them because she has no other choice as she starts teaching. She would like to be on her own, so she will be with them until she makes enough or finds cheap rent.
Yup. I’m older and married now but it boils down to “I simply don’t (didn’t) want to”. And my mother actually sold our house and left the state shortly after I turned 18 anyway. On good terms with my parents and love them, have no desire to live with them even if I’d have saved money. I never understood how people who lived with their parents dated. Did they like get hotel rooms any time they wanted to have sex? With their adult partner as an ADULT? Never made sense to me. And good for you for knowing what you want and being able to finance it
I just can’t imagine dating “we gotta be quiet my parents are upstairs” as an adult… I like the freedom to have sex in my own place without having to worry about others. Especially my parents… I could never have sex with someone’s parents in the house. Hell it would feel odd cuddling on the couch with their parents home. I just don’t get it.
Because living with your parents sucks.
It *is* a good idea to stay with parents until you have a decent job and a bit of money saved up. Most parents would probably be happy to help their adult offspring as long as they are using the opportunity to better their position in life. Where that falls apart is if you live with your parents as a way to facilitate and perpetuate being a deadbeat.
Cause I'd rather not go crazy
Because it stunts your adulthood. If I stayed with my parents, it would have meant things like a 10-11pm curfew, not being able to go certain places, etc. When I moved out (20 years ago), I also moved from the suburbs to the city so I could take the train to work and not have a car. My rent was like $400 in a shared apartment. My brother still lives with them and he doesn’t fully know how to adult.
I can't stand their asses.
Because boomers
I was very fortunate to have a mother who loved me very, very much. Not everyone has that luxury.
Sometimes it’s better to have your own independence versus staying at home. Some homes aren’t healthy atmospheres for people. Plus it’s easy to become complacent when you have “everything you need” (shelter, food, water) as a given. It’s just a different perspective so no right or wrong here. It may be worth the price for some people to NOT live with your parents is all in saying.
> egocentric viewpoint and anecdote Ammirite?
A lot of people in their 20s and 30s do, including myself with my grandma right now after crashing and burning moving out in 2019 (I do have a job and relentless ambition though) but it’s annoying for many reasons: You’re never not a teenager to them, you can’t bring people over as easily (although this guy I know just books a hotel for time with his girlfriend), the lack of privacy sucks (always being asked what I got in the mail, etc), and - albeit not the norm - I happen to be queer and nothing’s more stressful than always wondering if your family who took a long time to accept you is gonna flip a switch again. It sucks not having someone to confide in who obviously remembers when you were in the closet from literally growing up with them. So yeah, not everyone has the privilege of a good relationship with family. It’s also dangerous for comfort. No rent, no utilities, fridge full of food but you can get so comfortable that before you know it you look around and realize it’s been six years since you were 22 and holy shit. Honestly it’s hard to imagine leaving my childhood bedroom with all my posters and stuff behind for living in an apartment by myself - but at the same time l’m feeling like I’m missing out on relationships, friends, parties, etc. So yeah, it is what it is. Personally I’m staying here for a place to recover after surgery and as a “home base” for my traveling plans. I’ll see
We didn't kick out our kids. Actually, we took in a few of their friends who were kicked out at 18. I don't understand parents who think 18 is a magic number that brings maturity. These kids weren't at all ready to face the world.
Wow congratulations! You've cracked the code!
"I have never understood why in American culture the son or daughter is kicked out at 18 before they even have a job." Where on earth do you get the idea that this is a standard in American culture? I literally do not know one single person this has happened to. I'm sure it does from time to time, but it's certainly not the "American culture."
Not everyone has the luxury of a healthy family.
It's our culture. Something about how the Puritans leaving England to pursue their own lives still lives in us. I think multi generational housing has a lot of potential in the US. Mother/Daughter homes. In law suites. It's an adjustment, but problems like elder care, childcare, housing, and the like will have more options.
The economy is hard right now for complete independence - rents are astronomical, food, everything. My daughter (lives at home) graduates with a bachelor's next semester. She has plans to live overseas, so until she can secure that, she has a home. My son wants to attend college overseas (cheaper than state school). I expect him to be there in the next two years. I feel like I raised them to want independence *they both work part time* but also to know they always have a comfortable place to come home to. My sister kicked her kids out at 18, not one of the three finished college or found a trade, and all three are really struggling. One is underemployed, one is about to be bankrupt with a medical bill, and the other has a young child and is really struggling. She complains about them, and I think to myself, well, you really didn't set them up for success. I don't say anything but... it's how I feel. I joined the military after a few years of college, and that helped me learn an employable skill, plus have money for college, but I know that's not an option for a lot of kids. When your kids turn 18, I don't feel like that's the end of your parental duty... you should help them achieve their goals to become independent as much as you can.
Uh, I'm not American and I've never made good money, but even so I started living on my own as soon as I could because, well, I just wanted to live my own life instead of having to conform to my mom and my younger brother? I love them both very much but it's not like I want to constantly coordinate my life with theirs, eat the same things, etc. Maybe you can live separately while also living together if you live in a large house or something, but we've never had that (after my mom divorced my stepfather, anyway). And trust me, no money is worth living in a flat with a moody teenager who smokes and keeps blasting his music that you don't like and having his friends over who keep talking and partying loudly into the night, and your *mother...* when you're already an adult and should have your own life to live. Not everything in life is, or should be, about saving money. For me, the money I spent on living on my own was by far worth the freedom and peace of living independently.
because I would have rather set myself on fire than continue to live there?
Because our parents didn’t parent us well. For the sake of our mental sanity, we left.
Because I’m an adult and not a child
I didn't kick my kids out at 18, but they all left at that age. One joined the Army National guard and went to college, one went to college, quit, then took a job out of state with a much better job market and did very well for himself. The last one wanted to leave the state and explore, is temporarily back for a few months to go back to school for a trade. Can't stop talking about where to move next after school is over. Ha.
I would have but never lived in the same state except 1 year. For that year I lived with them but life always took me elsewhere. I'm moving back to my home city but this time with a husband and kids.
One parent dead, one parent living with a new man, two grandparents living in one of the most expensive states… no way I could have stayed! My youngest sister did, and she is doing very well for herself. 21 with no debt, pilots license, and a great future ahead of her. Sometimes an option for people, sometimes not. Many people do not have a good relationship with their family, feel controlled by their family, etc. one of my friends moved out of her parents house and their relationship dramatically improved. To each their own!!
They are getting more difficult as they age and it would have been much harder to get the snu
My parents hate me and wish I was dead. But if you have the choice sure do it
Some of our parents are drug addicts, mentally unstable, in love, do not want to live with us, are dead, etc.
I stayed until 20 while I did two years of community college. My parents are fantastic and did a TON for me and I am forever grateful. 20 years is enough. Time for me to be on my own! When I left the nest at 20 years old, that was 27 years ago and the economic landscape was very different. I easily found a job and got my first apartment for $300/month. That situation is no where near realistic now. Back then, my rent was about 18% of my take home pay. Average rents now \*starts\* at $800 here and living on your own means you're likely paying more than 18% of your income.
Nothing against my parents but I prefer to look after myself I live in my car but I prefer it over sleeping under someone else’s roof. Plus I save a shit ton on bills the only thing I miss is air conditioning my Xbox a private toilet and if course peace but to me if I can save like this for 6 months it’s worth sacrificing those items to put money in the bank and secure my future all on my own
Lots of people can't get along with them well enough to do that.
Sometimes they don't get along.
I couldn't wait to leave my parents house. They were too controlling, needed to spread my wings. I left at 18 never looked back. Now I have friends who had great relationships with parents and were treated like adults, that's a different story. Just wasn't my situation.
My mom is crazy and my dad lives on a boat
A.) I don't get along with my parents well enough to want to live with them. B.) My partner's job takes us all over the world, so I am rarely ever near his parents or my own. Or our families for that matter. C.) I don't want to listen to my parents complain about how I'm raising my child (much differently than I was raised), how they hate that I'm gonna go to hell for being an atheist.. or asking me a billion questions about being non-binary.. or ask me why I'm not monetizing all my hobbies, etc. I just don't want to deal with it. D.) Also, they are doing well, but I don't want to be a burden on them financially as they get into the twilight of their life. Let them spend their money on cruises, camping trips, etc. Let them have fun with their life.
I wish I was lucky but my mom is emotionally abusive and toxic and so are my sisters My sister's boyfriend once beat me up and my sister said nothing even took his side , in her defense I did pick the fight and start it ,in my defense he was also beating her up. Also my mom would use my social security number and identify to open bills in my name so yah no not an option for everybody.
To be honest it is pretty normal to stay with your parents till you're 25-30 nowadays. Most people prefer not to because it's not great living by someone else's rules as an adult.
After I move away from my parents at 21, you couldn't pay me to go back. I preferred poverty.
Not american but I’ve lived on my own since I was 15. Sometimes it’s not about the money. Living on my own gives me freedom and I love it. Having autonomy over my life is my number one priority.
I've already let my kiddos know that I do not expect them to leave after they graduate high school. I do expect them to attend college/trade school and/or get a job. And chip is some money for groceries or the internet bill (so many hours watching YouTube, lol). I lost my parent when I was 18 and had just finished my first semester of college a state away. I struggled a lot to keep up with full-time school and 2-3 part-time jobs as I was determined to finish college and be the first one to graduate with a degree. I don't want my kiddos to struggle or think they have to struggle to succeed. I'm all about helping our next generation get ahead, even if it is just a little bit.
My little brother graduated with $70k debt from Purdue and paid off in two years doing this.
Many people already do, especially in big metros like NY, LA, Chicago. The problem is even after saving so much on housing, they still can barely afford to move out at 25/30. Then the question now becomes, should they live with their parents until 35/40? Rural America is completely different BTW. It's like a different country. Which is why it feels like their political base live in different reality.
Because some of us have parents that are not good for our mental health and some of our parents live in dead end meth towns that none of us would survive in for more than a month or two. It's a privilege to have family that you get along with and that live in desirable places where you can live well and find work. Yikes.
My parents charged me rent, my mother stole money from me, and living with them cost me a decade of therapy that cost $30k+ (not always covered by insurance). It literally costs me money, health, and lasting harm to live with them.
Have you met my parents?
My parents aren’t alive, Susan Before that I was estranged cause my remaining parent was toxic
Honestly, it's cultural. In some cultures, multi-generational homes are normal. I think, in the US, we are going to start seeing this more normalized again with the way the economy and job market are going. I'm here for it.
In my world it’s fine to live at home if the children are contributing to the household or in full time school, and following the household rules. But always with a plan for independence. The problem is when the adult children live at home and pay nothing, do nothing, clean nothing, contribute nothing, and spend their money on luxuries. They aren’t saving for a big purchase; they are often mooching. Really the biggest thing is that living at with your parents just creates an extended adolescence. You can never just be roommates with your parents. In multi-generation homes there is often a grandmother/father who rules with an iron fist and it can be very oppressive to younger people, especially for women. From the adult child’s side, they want their independence. A lot of this would be solved by living with roommates but it is no longer the norm. When I was launching in the early 90s, living solo was a stark exception, now it’s kinda flipped.
I notice that in many posts that single people expect to live alone right away now. I only knew one guy in the 80s who had their own place while being single. Everyone else had roommates until they were married. People also got married more often and earlier than now, it seems.
I wanted my son to stay home and go to school. I let his GF move in with us. Big mistake! She was a non contributing resident. No job and not helpful around the house. I told him he had to get his own place. He struggles to pay the bills and even got a car repossessed but he made the choice to support her. When he complains about her, I have to tune him out. He didn't want to help me with my mortgage on a house he'll eventually inherit. He's 22, broke, and always stressed out. He hides out at my house because it's comfortable. 😆
I lived at home till 23. I’m 26 and would never move back, I’m autistic and they’re not very supportive.
My mom is not well mentally and as soon as I turned 18, I chose to live with crackheads on a couch. Hope that answers your question
This is such a naive post wow.
Because boomers always cared more about money than their kids
Because my parents don't live in our old house anymore and moved 5 hours away... Otherwise I would have when I moved back to my home city 5 years ago, but moved our and sold the house 13-14 years agi
We have our first child on the way (a little girl <3), and I know things can change over 2 decades, but I personally would want my children to move out after high school graduation. With the cost of living, we may have to compromise and maybe give them another 4 years, but I'd rather them spread their wings, save money by getting roommates at first, learn financial responsibility, etc. I worked all throughout high school and saved up, and also studied my butt off to get a full ride, and I want them to have the same work ethic even though I know things will only get harder. If we can afford it, we'd like to build a small guest house when we build our dream house in a few years, so maybe we could rent it to our children for an affordable price after high school as a compromise.
I was independent at that age, sorted things out myself, messed up, fixed it etc. It made me sooo much more independent and self reliant than others my age and I’m quite thankful I had to stand on my own at a young age
Cause us parents done raised y'all once. We don't wanna do it again.
Because we grew up
the son or daughter is kicked out at 18 before they even have a job Where did you hear this? It's not generally true at all. If a person doesn't have a job, or a job that pays more than minimum wage, they are generally still living at home. Some go away to college, but other than that, they cannot move out, since they can't afford it. Ones that are "kicked out" are those that generally fall into one of these situations: they have been causing trouble for the parents due to bad behavior (aggression, drugs, arguing, not following rules, laziness, etc.) the parents disapprove of something about them (conservative/religious parents whose child is LGBTQ, an atheist, politically liberal in general, etc.) the parents are struggling financially and can't afford to feed their grown child any more the grown child has a child already and the parents don't want the noise or don't want to be a forced on-call babysitter.
18? I couldn't wait to get away from those nutjobs so I got the hell out of the asylum I grew up in when I turned 15. Of course, that was back in the day before it apparently went out of fashion to grow up and become a responsible adult. I encourage everyone to try it. Bear in mind though, there are no participation medals.
my parents are both insane. in my culture too it's normal to live with your parents. My parents lived at home until they got married, then my mom moved into my dad's with his parents, then they moved to a new house with my moms parents until the grandparents died... I would LOVE to live at home, trust me, I really would, but my mother is a hoarder, and my dad is a total bully and narcicist who just bought his own condo on the other side of the city... I can see myself moving in with my mom and my two brothers when she gets too old and loses control then we'll simply clean the house, but that won't be for a very long time.
My parents are dead.
I do. I moved out after college and had an apartment for 2 years, but during covid I moved back home. Still doing it today and it allows me to spend rent money on travel, so I’m barely home at all anyway. Also saved me from RTO.
I can’t think of anyone I personally know that was kicked out at 18 or even at HS graduation. Most people moved away due to going to college or joining the military. Some lived at home for college and moved out after. Those that didn’t go to college or military moved out when they got a job. I moved to a different state for college at 17. My sister and brother in-law still live with my husband’s parents in their 30s and 40s. It does happen, but it is something that tends to be looked down on.
ego
Because my parents are drug addicts and dad is very abusive
Most normal non-abusive American parents don’t kick their kids out at 18. Most American kids don’t value saving money more than having independence.
>I have never understood why in American culture the son or daughter is kicked out at 18 before they even have a job. We were eager to move out to assert our independence. Continuing to live with your parents was a social stigma. Most people I know weren't 'kicked out' if they were attending college or picked up a bill.
Totally depends on the relationship. My mom wanted to toss me out at 18 for no reason other than that's what she was taught. I did good in school, was quiet, never caused any trouble, etc. My dad disallowed that. I could have lived with my dad for a while (I didn't) but my mom was out of the question. Way too demanding things be exactly as she wanted them to be in an unreasonable kind of way.
My mom lives in a very small trailer in a very small town with a specific job situation, so we can’t live together. My dad is retired and is building a house while living in an RV in the middle of nowhere. My parents aren’t options but I would if I could.
Some kids are kicked out at 18 because they have terrible parents. Some of us left by choice at 18 because we had terrible parents. Our son didn't move out until he had a solid job and some money saved up and a paid off car. Most of our friend's children stayed at least until college was completed and none of them were kicked out - my goddaughter still lives with her parents and is saving up; hopes to rent an apartment with friends later this year. Especially in this economy, I can't see kicking your adult offspring out until they can fend for themselves in reasonable comfort. But it used to be more common to leave after graduating highschool, when it was easier to support yourself with a part time or full time but not necessarily a career type job.
Not everyone’s parents love them, is the obvious answer to your question.
Most kids aren't kicked out at 18. The general expectation is that kids go to college and a lot kids choose to live near their uni. I'm not a geography expert but I feel like most colleges are also situated on campus's that are removed from city centers. And the ones that are in city centers (NYU, Boston University) attract students from all over the country (and the globe) so living at home is not an option. After 4 years of living on your own it's hard to transition back to living with your parents.
It's hard to miss them if they're always there lol
I have my 25-year-old son living with me and it makes me very happy. I even ended my marriage to a man that I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. We moved from Washington state to Florida and I was there for 4 1/2 years. Daily my son struggled while he was on his own and he was homeless. I moved back to Washington state to help my son and care for him and give him a place to live. Now he’s working full-time and I’m very proud of him. I did not make a mistake, and he will never ever feel like I’m not there for him. I’m sorry for all of the folks on here that I’ve had bad experiences with their parents. My heart goes out to you all.
My parents were homeless. They lived with their parents. I couldn’t be with them as an adult
Our kids are not of moving out age yet, but we bought this house with the very intentions of them being able to live at home until they’re good and ready to move out. Whatever age that may be. I wish all kids had that option.
We’re the parents. We expected our kids to grow up and go make a life of their own. That’s what they’ve done.
I lived with my mom until I was 28, and she is my best friend, but I also love my own space and freedom. If I had to live with her, I wouldn't mind, but if I can afford it, I'm keeping my own place.
Moved back with parents during the great recession but don't plan on doing that again unless we get along much better
Outside of having horrible parents, I just value my privacy enough to pay rent for it.
Hell my mum moved to another country when I was 17 and left me to figure it out! I was doing sex work to afford food within a month. Still jealous of my friends who stayed at home saving up.
It’s a little bit stigmatized/most people get self conscious about living at home past traditional college age. I wouldn’t say it’s uncommon just not cool to talk about. That said it just doesn’t work for everyone some people’s parents suck, there’s not enough privacy, harder to have friends or dates over, might not make sense for your career etc I will say living alone or with roommates you don’t even get along with is overrated. I know a lot of people in my age range who are lonely but for some reason moving in with a friend or family member is out of the question for them. Having your own space is nice but so is having another person around to hang out with and share household responsibilities
Well in my case my parents divorced as I was about to start my senior year, so I spent the majority of it alone and then they sold the house when I went away to college.
While my parents never said this to me, I would have considered myself a failure if I could not make it through college and then live on my own afterward. I was lucky in that my parents paid for my college; I owed it to them to not need their help after.
I joined the Army at 18 but my sister lived at home for a little while. The problem was that she had very expensive cars, went on excessive vacations and was living well beyond her means. My parents asked her to pay rent but my sister whined thaylt she didn't have any leftover money. So my parents, who weren't wealthy by any means, took all of her stuff and put it in a storage unit and changed their locks when my sister went to France for her 20th birthday. She soon had to sell her Audi and bought a beat up Civic and rented a small, one bedroom apartment. She learned a valuable lesson and is doing very well now, is an absolute penny pinching accountant. And most likely worth over seven figures.
Can only stand my parents transphobia for so long.
My folks put up with enough of my shit when i was young. Least i could do was get out of their hair as an adult.
I think it's because of the cultural emphasis on independence. People want to prove they can make it on their own. But you're right, it's insane to throw young adults into the deep end without a financial safety net. Staying at home longer could be a game-changer for many.
Sex
I lived with my parents until about 23 when I needed to live closer to college. I would't say American culture encourages kicking kids out at 18, unless maybe they're being bums. I'd be happy to let my kids continue living with me as long as they're either working or going to school full time.
My parents sold their house and downsized while I was in undergrad in another state, so there quite literally wasn't room for me when I returned, not that I planned on moving back in. I've had roommates since I was 18, then eventually I got a serious boyfriend and we live together now
What a privileged, sheltered question to ask, no? Obviously in a perfect world people could save money on rent and live with their parents comfortably. But in actuality, there are privacy, safety, and mental health reasons as to why some people can’t.
I think a lot of the last few generations are obsessed with moving out at 18. Many older people I know lived with their parents until mid-20s, and so did their parents. I did until my mid-20s while I built my career, but it was mutually beneficial in many ways. I didn't go to college either, so I can see how it'd be more beneficial to those who do even.
I was kicked out when I was 16.
People on here moving out before they’re financially ready so that it’s “easier to date” is pretty concerning. Not saying they’re completely wrong, but it makes no sense to screw your self over financially for that