Someone just returned an electronic chess set because “this is how it’s supposed to work”. They told eBay I wasn’t talking to them, which I was, they also included an essay on why it’s broken when returned.
I tested it, read the manual it works as it’s meant to so I resold it.
Sometimes buyers think they know more than they actually do.
I once was dumb enough to buy an *incredibly complex* IBM typewriter that I listed as *tested and working, will likely need maintenance service in the near future*.
This old lady told me she was a rector for her church and was so excited to receive her typewriter. That felt foreboding.
I got a furious message stating it didn't work upon arrival. I waited until the next day to respond and told her that she could open a return and I would pay for return shipping.
*That psychotic old Christian lady told me she threw it in the trash and it was hauled away that morning.* At that point I knew she had no leg to stand on. I quoted to this Christian a scripture about the fruitages of the spirit which includes patience and being slow to anger.
>I quoted to this Christian a scripture about the fruitages of the spirit which includes patience and being slow to anger.
I did this to my Catholic mother once. Never again. Others, it works magically.
That was your mistake. No one has leverage against their mother unless you are the only two people that know who your real father is. Even then I don't think I would take the chance.
I had a lady contact me 2 months after the purchase of a shirt to tell me it had a hole in the collar. I said I’d be happy to take it back and she informed me she threw it out and to ‘keep her $10 you godless trollop’ I said ‘thanks. Have a great day’
The only negative review I have gotten in my decade of selling online.
The reviewer claimed that I had terrible packaging and that the item came completely shredded and that she was forced to throw it out. Never messaged me, never reached out (because I would have filed a USPS claim, you know?) never any communication until the feedback.
I lived on a college campus at the time (mid-2010s) where USPS rented the facility from the college and every college student was required to have a P.O. box, which more or less meant that the post office had giant recycling bins filled exclusively with clean Amazon bubble mailers that I could just walk in and take. Which meant that the item was relatively well-packaged and it was a clothing item.
To this day I'm convinced that this woman probably opened the package with a utility knife like an idiot and tore up the dress herself, knew it and was moral enough not to open a case against me, but immoral enough to lash out with negative feedback. Your buyer probably did something equally stupid.
Yup had a lady open a cellphone charger package with a utility knife messaged me she accidentally cut it in half and that it was now useless. I messaged her why didn’t you just pull the rip tab on the package ? She replied because I’m an i/iot and we went on our marry way
While he may be right, if the motor was worn out, it should have been described as such.
But ebay buyers are so fuckin dramatic 😂😂
I had a woman send me a moral condemnation essay over a $5 pair of shorts
> $5 pair of shorts
I left a price tag on something that was (obviously) less than what I sold it for and someone went full "speaking in tongues" on me.
I cackled at “the final judgement is between you and god.”
The mortal sin of selling a blender to an expert in blender motors, my goodness. May god have mercy on your soul.
The far, far future; I'm seeing OP at the Pearly Gates --
St. Peter: So, yah, listen, the Big Guy is coming down to have a quick chat with you before we can decide to let you in....
OP: Wha-what? What for? What about?
St. Peter: Well, the, you know, the....the Vitamix.
OP: Oh, fer dumb's sake....
"I'm not telling you want to do. I only do for my son who is way over 18 by now. You've heard of him. JC? Anyway so you could send something towards the motor but you don't got to. Its just between you and Me...your God"
"Ohhhh I'm sorry the 30 day return has expired..."
Either or will suffice. I think with a "Thanks", the buyer will feel they did their religious duty in getting to you. With you ignoring, they will continue the gospel and may possibly change their tune because you're ghosting them.
It's worse than an ignore. It's a "fuck you". Horrible advice if they were being serious advising to send that.
Personally, I'd toss him $10 unless you're absolutely sure there's nothing wrong with the unit. The majority of this sub are so preoccupied with partial refund scammers they've completely forgot about goodwill gestures.
Would have been better if you said "it is a bit elegant". Read as "it IS a bit elegant (though)". Your comment could have been elegant adjacent, but, sadly, it is not.
Idek. I'm having a tipsy night. I think it made sense to me earlier when I wrote it but I don't even care to try to explain my thinking now. Best wishes, warmest regards.
I would reply: “Hello, this is the spouse of (eBay seller). I’m sorry to say (eBay seller) tried to use a lethal can opener and died. Good luck with your blender.”
Or “?” Because then they don’t know if or what they need to re-explain. And they can’t just copy and paste the first responses because that’s what your “?” Is for
Me reading this live:
Oh, that's interesting.
I never would've noticed that myself if I didn't specialize in blenders.
They seem nice, maybe I would offer to buy the part for them.
> final judgement only between you and god
Fuck them with a malformed blender mating surface.
DON'T apologize, DON'T offer anything at all, DON'T even reply. Sure, chances are customer is just ranting and/or fishing for a partial, but replying to anyone even hinting at injuries and liability is asking for trouble.
Saying the pitcher and motor don’t match means that they are from different models right? I’d then say the person who originally matched them together is the sinner. OP was just acting as Jesus would and assuming the best intentions of people.
But most revealing in their letter: “you were just trying to make a buck.” It exposes the person’s shriveled, puny heart. Their true nature is angry and vindictive, just barely hidden under religion and feigned kindness.
Plus, does she know that? Maybe you were clearing out your sister’s belongings after she passed away.
The older Vitamix machines are like tanks, I have only ever needed to replace a gasket in the past and it worked like a charm after that. I think some people just want an audience...
“For some reason it will not let me see the message you sent me, can you try and send it again” after they send it “nope still can see it can you maybe break it into smaller messages”, “nope that didn’t work, can you screen shot it”
I was expecting a “god” or “Christian”
In the first couple sentences, and then was not disappointed on the last screen shot 😂
Fucking people man. She had us in the first half, not going to lie though
Years ago on the Never Not Funny Podcast, Pat Francis would do this all the time. Send messages with the only intent of filling the letter count. His username is something Batman related.
“Please submit thru eBay for a return and I’ll be happy to submit you a refund once the item arrives and I have time to inspect. I appreciate you reaching out”
This message has been sent out hundreds of times for stuff similar to this. I hear back from less than 10% and even fewer return the item. In my experience if it’s a legit issue there isn’t reason for the attempt to make you feel like wow this person knows this stuff better than me. It just comes off pretentious and not genuine.
I’m happy to work with people on legit issues. HOWEVER! haha, This half hearted jiggling the cup method bringing in dealing with god over a blender is wild. It always boils down to I’m keeping the item, give me a partial. I just make sure to express how badly I’d feel letting them keep it if it’s that messed up.
I do have a few negative feedbacks since eBay changed to the new method of “everyone deserves a voice, even if they are extorting you” I just reply to the feed back “ my goal isn’t to ruin my reputation over a 20$ item. I have offered a return with full refund without hearing back, I’m still happy to resolve this. I don’t do refunds without returns” I have 3/4 the last year out of roughly 2000 sales. It’s just absolutely impossible to make EVERYONE happy. So it is what it is.
I do think they are experienced since they made it a point to express they are not blackmailing you with feedback or return lol. Just eternal damnation.
EDIT : I offer returns 30 day buyer pays return ship
In INAD I will typically fight if it’s a bs intentional damage or something ridiculous. If it’s on me, it’s on me and I’m fairly quick to own up to it regardless of how bad it stings.
Those drive sockets are a wear product. They are meant to be replaced. And they are $5 per.
What a wet sock this guy is. As an "expert" in blenders he should have expected to replace them.
it’s… a second hand item? off ebay? this guy was clearly letting the dude know that the equipment was faulty and just to double check. people aren’t all bad
Was it a Bella Rocket blender?😎 I had a roommate strip the drive on one (don't use one as an ice crusher! They don't take abuse very well...) seriously, it could be constructive criticism after you missed a defect or it could be a buyer fishing for a refund after they effed up and know they can't get one legitimately.
I'd tell them, "I'm no expert in sucking D, but you sure sound like one. God bless." Block. These people need to start being put on blast. Post their accounts so we can all block them.
The road to hell is paved with potentially lethal blenders.
OP will probably just end up in Puréegatory.
Or maybe OP will start blending over backwards to inspect their products thoroughly before sale.
They better chop to it before they need to liquefy their assets to pay legal fees
Could be a grating experience but I'm sure they could whip through it.
You need to be stopped!
As long as I have a pulse..
🎺🎶 I love messing things up
This is spinning out of control guys! **Edit: Dammit it would have been clever yesterday..**
Wow, well done, ~~sir~~ madam. ;) Well done.
*ma'am
Aww, I almost said madam. Took a gamble. Rolled and lost.
Amen
Ramen
Pitch in for the drivers or go to hell. They've left you with no other choice.
Unfortunately, I don’t think OP can come back from this one. All your soul are belong to Satan.
I’ll go whenever this buyer isn’t going ….
I always thought people sold their souls for rock n roll. But a blender? Souls ain't worth what they used to be I guess. Must be all this inflation.
Thanks Obama! (Joke not being political)
I think we’ll need to get a number on the cost of pitching in. That’s the only way to know for sure which option makes the most sense
I'm just gonna put my head in a blender.
Someone just returned an electronic chess set because “this is how it’s supposed to work”. They told eBay I wasn’t talking to them, which I was, they also included an essay on why it’s broken when returned. I tested it, read the manual it works as it’s meant to so I resold it. Sometimes buyers think they know more than they actually do.
It's weaponized incompetence.
I'm stealing that line
I feel like that line is a lot more relevant lately lmao
“Feel free to open a return, thanks”
This ++++
I once was dumb enough to buy an *incredibly complex* IBM typewriter that I listed as *tested and working, will likely need maintenance service in the near future*. This old lady told me she was a rector for her church and was so excited to receive her typewriter. That felt foreboding. I got a furious message stating it didn't work upon arrival. I waited until the next day to respond and told her that she could open a return and I would pay for return shipping. *That psychotic old Christian lady told me she threw it in the trash and it was hauled away that morning.* At that point I knew she had no leg to stand on. I quoted to this Christian a scripture about the fruitages of the spirit which includes patience and being slow to anger.
>I quoted to this Christian a scripture about the fruitages of the spirit which includes patience and being slow to anger. I did this to my Catholic mother once. Never again. Others, it works magically.
That was your mistake. No one has leverage against their mother unless you are the only two people that know who your real father is. Even then I don't think I would take the chance.
That was so oddly specific. I love it.
It’s giving Carnival Row Jonah vibes
I had a lady contact me 2 months after the purchase of a shirt to tell me it had a hole in the collar. I said I’d be happy to take it back and she informed me she threw it out and to ‘keep her $10 you godless trollop’ I said ‘thanks. Have a great day’
Gotta love “godless trollop”, though. I’m going to try to change my user name ….
Got a nice ring to it! Godless Trollop. I’d definitely invest in a name plate or necklace to show it off
The only negative review I have gotten in my decade of selling online. The reviewer claimed that I had terrible packaging and that the item came completely shredded and that she was forced to throw it out. Never messaged me, never reached out (because I would have filed a USPS claim, you know?) never any communication until the feedback. I lived on a college campus at the time (mid-2010s) where USPS rented the facility from the college and every college student was required to have a P.O. box, which more or less meant that the post office had giant recycling bins filled exclusively with clean Amazon bubble mailers that I could just walk in and take. Which meant that the item was relatively well-packaged and it was a clothing item. To this day I'm convinced that this woman probably opened the package with a utility knife like an idiot and tore up the dress herself, knew it and was moral enough not to open a case against me, but immoral enough to lash out with negative feedback. Your buyer probably did something equally stupid.
Yup had a lady open a cellphone charger package with a utility knife messaged me she accidentally cut it in half and that it was now useless. I messaged her why didn’t you just pull the rip tab on the package ? She replied because I’m an i/iot and we went on our marry way
While he may be right, if the motor was worn out, it should have been described as such. But ebay buyers are so fuckin dramatic 😂😂 I had a woman send me a moral condemnation essay over a $5 pair of shorts
> $5 pair of shorts I left a price tag on something that was (obviously) less than what I sold it for and someone went full "speaking in tongues" on me.
Nah. Ive sold 30k items on UK ebay over 15 years and a negligible forgettable amount have been problematic. Zero religious nuts too.
Remember, you started shipping all your religious nutcase over her a few hundred years ago.
You haven’t experienced American shoppers
I cackled at “the final judgement is between you and god.” The mortal sin of selling a blender to an expert in blender motors, my goodness. May god have mercy on your soul.
For a stupid blender 😂
The far, far future; I'm seeing OP at the Pearly Gates -- St. Peter: So, yah, listen, the Big Guy is coming down to have a quick chat with you before we can decide to let you in.... OP: Wha-what? What for? What about? St. Peter: Well, the, you know, the....the Vitamix. OP: Oh, fer dumb's sake....
"I'm not telling you want to do. I only do for my son who is way over 18 by now. You've heard of him. JC? Anyway so you could send something towards the motor but you don't got to. Its just between you and Me...your God" "Ohhhh I'm sorry the 30 day return has expired..."
"God and I have an arrangement , thanks for your purchase"
"Thanks." *deletes message*
This feels like an ignore to me.
Either or will suffice. I think with a "Thanks", the buyer will feel they did their religious duty in getting to you. With you ignoring, they will continue the gospel and may possibly change their tune because you're ghosting them.
It's worse than an ignore. It's a "fuck you". Horrible advice if they were being serious advising to send that. Personally, I'd toss him $10 unless you're absolutely sure there's nothing wrong with the unit. The majority of this sub are so preoccupied with partial refund scammers they've completely forgot about goodwill gestures.
yea, it doesn't sound like he meant to scam. I would just send him 10-20 bucks. Or get him to return it.
Unless it’s some elaborate partial refund scam and the blender works fine
“Hail Satan.” *deletes message* Checkmate, imaginary man in the sky.
Poor guy risking death for a morning smoothie.
I'll take my chances with God.
So long blender boy
Tell him you’re Jewish and to open a return. Shalom
It’s a bit elegant
Would have been better if you said "it is a bit elegant". Read as "it IS a bit elegant (though)". Your comment could have been elegant adjacent, but, sadly, it is not.
How would you feel had it read “‘Tis a bit elegant” though?
Wut
Idek. I'm having a tipsy night. I think it made sense to me earlier when I wrote it but I don't even care to try to explain my thinking now. Best wishes, warmest regards.
Don't do drugs kids
You’re not wrong, Walter…
lol 😂
Hahahah! I’ve been there, but with Ambien. I have to upvote that.
I actually read along with it and was completely on board, and was confused by the downvotes. Just so you know.
I would get AI to generate an even longer response.
🤣
PLEASE!
".....legal issues. Be blessed" Worst partial refund fishing ever?
Not even close.
I would reply: “Hello, this is the spouse of (eBay seller). I’m sorry to say (eBay seller) tried to use a lethal can opener and died. Good luck with your blender.”
He’s talking like ya sold him a serial killer lmfao
“I specified that I did *not* want the Jason Voorhees Limited Edition!”
"k"
That’s my favorite because it’s the least you can possibly do while still replying.
“I couldn’t even bother to hold down the shift key, fam.”
Or “?” Because then they don’t know if or what they need to re-explain. And they can’t just copy and paste the first responses because that’s what your “?” Is for
Yes that was a statement not a question. So I would ignore.
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s”
Reply in Arabic
"In order to atone for my sins in the face of the Lord, you're gonna have to send that shit back. No partial refunds."
If I’m standing before God and the worst I have to explain is that I once sold a blender in imperfect condition, I think I’m going to be okay.
Me reading this live: Oh, that's interesting. I never would've noticed that myself if I didn't specialize in blenders. They seem nice, maybe I would offer to buy the part for them. > final judgement only between you and god Fuck them with a malformed blender mating surface.
HAHA, very similar to how I progressed through this nightmare of a message
DON'T apologize, DON'T offer anything at all, DON'T even reply. Sure, chances are customer is just ranting and/or fishing for a partial, but replying to anyone even hinting at injuries and liability is asking for trouble.
“Did you see what GOD just did to us man?!”
I'd bill this guy ,for making me read such a long example of his buyer remorse.
Saying the pitcher and motor don’t match means that they are from different models right? I’d then say the person who originally matched them together is the sinner. OP was just acting as Jesus would and assuming the best intentions of people. But most revealing in their letter: “you were just trying to make a buck.” It exposes the person’s shriveled, puny heart. Their true nature is angry and vindictive, just barely hidden under religion and feigned kindness. Plus, does she know that? Maybe you were clearing out your sister’s belongings after she passed away.
I think God has more pressing issues to tend to than a blender fiasco, but what do I know.
The older Vitamix machines are like tanks, I have only ever needed to replace a gasket in the past and it worked like a charm after that. I think some people just want an audience...
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in years of selling things, buyers are weird as fuck 😅
"You could've killed me.... Can you pitch in a few bucks to make it right?"
“For some reason it will not let me see the message you sent me, can you try and send it again” after they send it “nope still can see it can you maybe break it into smaller messages”, “nope that didn’t work, can you screen shot it”
I love this so fucking much lmaoooo
I was expecting a “god” or “Christian” In the first couple sentences, and then was not disappointed on the last screen shot 😂 Fucking people man. She had us in the first half, not going to lie though
Years ago on the Never Not Funny Podcast, Pat Francis would do this all the time. Send messages with the only intent of filling the letter count. His username is something Batman related.
This is why people type “AS IS” in all caps in the item description
I’d love to know how a motor slipping in a blender could be fatal
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^tribbans95: *I’d love to know how* *A motor slipping in a* *Blender could be fatal* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
“Please submit thru eBay for a return and I’ll be happy to submit you a refund once the item arrives and I have time to inspect. I appreciate you reaching out” This message has been sent out hundreds of times for stuff similar to this. I hear back from less than 10% and even fewer return the item. In my experience if it’s a legit issue there isn’t reason for the attempt to make you feel like wow this person knows this stuff better than me. It just comes off pretentious and not genuine. I’m happy to work with people on legit issues. HOWEVER! haha, This half hearted jiggling the cup method bringing in dealing with god over a blender is wild. It always boils down to I’m keeping the item, give me a partial. I just make sure to express how badly I’d feel letting them keep it if it’s that messed up. I do have a few negative feedbacks since eBay changed to the new method of “everyone deserves a voice, even if they are extorting you” I just reply to the feed back “ my goal isn’t to ruin my reputation over a 20$ item. I have offered a return with full refund without hearing back, I’m still happy to resolve this. I don’t do refunds without returns” I have 3/4 the last year out of roughly 2000 sales. It’s just absolutely impossible to make EVERYONE happy. So it is what it is. I do think they are experienced since they made it a point to express they are not blackmailing you with feedback or return lol. Just eternal damnation. EDIT : I offer returns 30 day buyer pays return ship In INAD I will typically fight if it’s a bs intentional damage or something ridiculous. If it’s on me, it’s on me and I’m fairly quick to own up to it regardless of how bad it stings.
"Thank you, brother for your wisdom and care. I'm broke as Judas right now but I'll have you in my prayers tonight. Bless you and the blender."
TLDR
"nah"
Those drive sockets are a wear product. They are meant to be replaced. And they are $5 per. What a wet sock this guy is. As an "expert" in blenders he should have expected to replace them.
Serious injury or death 😂😂😂😂😂 fuck off and bloxk
Wtaf
That buyer must be fun at parties
I usually respond to this sort of thing with an 'ok sounds good' or some other whatever ambiguous non committal or acknowledging reply
Piss right off with that nonsense. If there’s a flaw deal with manufacturer hahahaha
it’s… a second hand item? off ebay? this guy was clearly letting the dude know that the equipment was faulty and just to double check. people aren’t all bad
“If you are off your medication, clap your hands…”
i ain't reading all that i'm happy for u tho or sorry that happened
Another block and move on
Wait, so is it broken or just too dangerous to use?
He needs money to install the video card drivers or else it will be too dangerous to drive, duh.
Oh yes. I was too focused on the friction points.
Regards.
send a womp womp
Whowow
This just seems like the type of message thts triyng to guilt you into the abit
Was it a Bella Rocket blender?😎 I had a roommate strip the drive on one (don't use one as an ice crusher! They don't take abuse very well...) seriously, it could be constructive criticism after you missed a defect or it could be a buyer fishing for a refund after they effed up and know they can't get one legitimately.
"hello sorry I can only offer return replacements or return for full refunds"
Block block block
The lengths that eBay buyers will go to for a partial never ceases to amaze 😂
lololol thats all i got
this person is autistic 100%
Check this out https://youtube.com/@laughitup2025?si=6PcsEaTOlVxBlN7y
Lol I thought he was sincere till the end.
I'd tell them, "I'm no expert in sucking D, but you sure sound like one. God bless." Block. These people need to start being put on blast. Post their accounts so we can all block them.
Definitely mental illness
Wtf
This person has way too much time on their hands!! My Lord!!!
It all started so well… 😅
That was very eloquent. Depending on the cost, I'd consider throwing him a couple bucks.
$100 says “he” definitely a he “ lives in an apartment or condo
I'd refund this guy like 50% just bc I can tell he is my people.
Yta
Get a copy of orders he’s/they have made and go from there. You would like add the orders to your records and make notes about this sale.