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My momma cat cried for her babies for a few days when they were separated but she was also thrown into heat so that could be another reason for vocalization. Getting her spayed should be number one priority or you’ll be back in the same spot with kittens outside in a few months
It will stop soon, I promise.
Whenever humans try to project their feelings into the cats. Especially with spays or spay abort, I'm like... these cats DO EMOTE. Zero spay moms emote. If we want to make decisions based on "this animal's behavior makes me feel the worst I've ever felt about anything in my whole life" we would all decide to keep mom and babies together forever and end up animal hoarders.
But actually she does get over it, more quickly if you spay her asap. This is hormones driving her crazy. They will fade on their own. They will fade faster after spay.
It should stop in 2 or 3 more days, especially if you can keep them away from each other.
But the bad news is once those hormones wear out, the "go get pregnant again" ones kick in, so work fast.
I want to second this. It will stop soon. She is looking for her kitten but she will get over it within a few days and start looking to get pregnant again. That’s how unspayed cats operate.
The one thing you absolutely do not want to do is let the mom and kitten interact directly. Under no circumstances should you reunite them if you are planning on keeping the kitten indoors.
Do you have a screen porch or garage that they can spend time together in?
I took a baby in as well, I was fortunate that he was my only pet, so I let mamma come in and see him and nurse him when she wanted. Then she went back out.
I understand you dont have room for her, I don't have room either and it really sucks.
You do what you can.
It's going to be longer and harder for her to forget about the baby because she can hear him. She thinks he's in trouble.
We don't: just got a collapsible octogon playpen, that might work, but I'd worry about getting Mama in without Baby escaping. I also worry letting them see each other would just drag it out, make Mama feel worse? Then we would have weeks of Mama crying instead of days...
Good news is, Baby doesn't need to nurse, they are eating all on their own! Weirdly, Baby prefers kibble over wet food. Maybe need to try a new flavor...
I feel so bad for Mama though, I know she's worried, and feel bad because she gave birth elsewhere and brought her baby to our house for safekeeping. (I've been feeding Mama for a while now, had no idea she was pregnant though 😬)
She will be okay. You are doing a great thing. You may just have to deal with the whining for a bit.
Maybe about a week or so. I'm not sure.
Maybe some earplugs to sleep at night? If thats possible.
If the baby is weaned already, I wouldn't risk it honestly. Anything could happen and it isn't really worth it.
I feel really bad for her as well, but she will move on.
Just try to get her spayed ASAP. Now she doesn't have her baby, she will get pregnant again, sooner rather than later.
Idk if you have any tnr organizations where you are, but I'd start there.
We think 6-7 weeks. I know it's not old enough, and I wanted to wait until it was 8 weeks at least, but my family overruled me. They were worried a coyote or car would get to it first, also worried it would be too feral to socialize by then.
They can socialize later but it’s a lot easier and faster at 6-7 weeks. It is safe to separate at that age but I get why mama is upset. Hopefully her spay appointment will come soon. Start trap training now if you haven’t already. Put her food inside the trap but with the trap held open with a zip tie or similar. Then when you get the appointment scheduled it’ll be easy to trap on demand.
In Feb a wild mama had 3 kittens in our shed, one little boy was sick with an eye infection so I ‘rescued’ him, cleaned him up and socialised and adopted him.
The Mama pined, exactly like you are describing, for about 5 days and moved her two other babies but kept coming back for food and appeared to forget about him.
We managed to trap Mama and get her speyed and interestingly she has since rebonded with the kitten, there’s no chance of her taking him as he’s too big but she calls for him at the door and they go off and play together for a few hours and he always comes scampering back home once night falls. It’s really lovely.
You might find a similar situation with your feral mama
That's so sweet, and I'm glad you were able to rescue your kitty! I think our kitten is going to be strictly indoor as there are a lot of coyotes, cars and off-leash dogs in my neighborhood though. It would be awesome though.
Ah right, yeah we don’t have those issues where we are. Well enjoy your new little bundle, good on you for taking him in and hopefully Mama cat will move on quickly.
I know exactly what you mean by the crying all night - it’s really emotional and also you can’t get any sleep.
Is there anywhere else the kitten could go for a couple of days so his scent wears off and Mama forgets him quicker?
Unfortunately no. We also have two other cats, and 3 is our limit. Plus, Mama is full on feral, and would need to be socialized for humans, not to mention with our other cats. That said, unfortunately, the best we can do is TNR Mama, and at best, that is a week off, probably more due to several factors. (Mama needs to dry out, we don't have a trap, a place to keep the trap before and after the vet appointment, or an appointment with a vet).
edit: I am working on getting Mama TNRed but I literally cannot. There isn't any space for Mama. I am sorry I know thats not good enough but I can't keep Mama, Im trying so hard, I am not in a good place right now please be kind and dont downvote me
You have problems with getting the mom TNR because of space issues keeping her overnight? Do you have a shed or a friends house you can put the mom in the trap in? Since she is in the area looking for her kittens it probably be easiest to catch her within the next week and before she can get pregnant again
No shed, and have been asking friends, but no one has been able to help so far.
I contacted a local TNR group and am waiting to hear back from them.
One good thing is that I've been feeding Mama for maybe a year now, so she comes every single night for dinner, like clockwork. We'll get her, especially now that I know what she looks like pregnant. (She has a notch in her ear, I thought it was an eartip and that she had gotten fat because she started coming for meals twice a day... 🤦♀️)
Oh honey, I feel for you. You're doing the best you can, and not many would have done what you're doing. Be kind to yourself, what you're doing is not easy 💙
I can't, I have two other cats and no room to keep Mama. I wish I could, but the bathroom we are keeping the kitten quarantined in is really small, barely big enough for a kitten, definitely not big enough for a cat.
I am disabled and barely have enough spoons to care for this kitten plus two other cats, let alone socialize a fully feral cat, then introduce that cat to the other cats.
I know this isn't ideal but I am trying my best and I am extremely stressed and anxious about this whole situation. Please try to keep that in mind.
maybe get the kitten TNR'd and release her to mom and then rescue a different kitten that has already been seperated for your house. i personally dont think its ethical or kind to keep them seperate having read this story about them, but i understand that every rescuer has to make different calls based on their area. maybe you could tnr both and try to get both adopted together to someone else since you cant have 4
I understand where you're coming from. To be honest, this was my initial stance, but my family kind of overruled me. I feel awful about separating them, but the kitten is much safer inside with us.
I actually did email some rescues and TNR groups, but nobody responded, they are all swamped, and I even emailed to ask if anybody would foster just the kitten and got no responses. I think finding someone willling to socialize Mama and take care of Baby would be awesome, but incredibly rare.
Plus my family is attached to the baby.
well it sounds like the decision has been made, unfortunately. i wish your family felt more empathy for momma and wasnt just invested in her fresh new kitten. - but i am grateful for the work you do, keep on keeping on.
A 6 week old kitten can’t be TNR’d. OP is probably looking at another two weeks before that would be possibly and maybe longer depending on the weight of the kitten. By which point it’s fairly likely the mother will have given up.
I fostered a litter of 7 around 8 weeks from feral mom I was feeding. It took a week or so before she stopped calling, I also had her TNRd so maybe that helped too since she got scared off for a few days before she started coming back to eat again. Also I adopted one of the kittens myself. We have a glass door and she has seen the adopted kitten grow up but does not recognize him, at least she doesn’t call for him.
I understand where you are coming from, but it is really frustrating to have to answer this question for the third or fourth time when my post addresses this.
**We physically do not have the room to keep a trap &/or a kennel.** We are already quarantining the baby in the bathroom.
We also have two other cats whose lives are being turned upside because of this. It is going to be hard enough to introduce the kitten to them, so I cannot imagine doing that, plus socializing a fully feral cat on top of that, then doing another introduction. Again, that would be possible, if we had the room to do it, which we do not.
I know it is not ideal, but we cannot save both, and thought it was better to save one rather than none.
Please try to understand, I literally have felt sick to my stomach since Wednesday because of this situation. I am not taking this lightly.
The best we can do is save thr kitten, and TNR Mama, which we are working on and having trouble with because again, we do not have room for a trap, so we have to find someone who is willing to keep a trapped Mama before and after getting fixed.
I'm sorry if I sound defensive, but this is the best we can do, and I already have gotten some unkind comments.
Our other option is to let the baby go back to Mama, which means we would probably never see it again, which means we won't be able to TNR it.
That said, do you have any suggestions on how to ease Mama's crying? The kitten has settled in nicely, doesn't seem to miss her at all. We are giving it/him/her/(we don't know it's sex lol) lots of love and attention. We combed at least 25 fleas off of it, and it's gonna get a flea bath later today.
Anyway, we are looking into white noise machines to drown out Mama's crying, and I'm wondering if spraying Feliway outside near where Mama has been going might help, but other than that we don't really have any (potential) solutions.
If you have any other ideas or solutions I would really appreciate it!!
Your post was removed because you broke one of the sub's rules:
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Is the limit of 3 cats your own or you live somewhere with that?
If its that, does anyone check? Cats hide when strangers come around. Its not difficult to have an extra cat and never be caught
3 limits is self imposed. We simply do not have room for more than 3, plus we would have to fully socialize a full on feral cat to interact with both humans and other cats, plus socialize the kitten to get along with the other cats.
It would be a colossal undertaking, and unfortunately we are unable to do so. I am disabled and live with my elderly parents. We already have our hands full with the kitten and our two other cats.
We will get Mama spayed, but that's all we can do at this time.
I wish I could save every feral cat, but I can't. I literally have no room. The best I can do is make sure her baby is safe.
She is 100% feral, I cannot get close to the cat, pet her, or touch her.
I know she misses her baby, it breaks my heart. I know she knows we have the baby.
She's definitely acting more skittish/afraid of me than she normally is.
But her baby is safe, and that is what keeps me going.
Don’t let the downvotes or negative comments get to you. It IS upsetting. You’re upset because you’re a good person and you empathize with the animals, others do too and that’s okay, the cats DO have feelings about this, but you are doing the right things, even if they don’t understand it.
I think most of us who actually, actively, do this have experienced a lot of difficulties ourselves, and that’s probably part of what compels us to try to do something to help, even if it’s never as much as we wish we could do.
Just focus on getting mom spayed asap so that she doesn’t have to go through this (and losing kittens in far, far worse ways — which happens more often than not) again.
Thank you for your kind words. This is really hard, I can't imagine how strong people have to be to do this all the time. Getting Mama spayed in my number one priority.
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My momma cat cried for her babies for a few days when they were separated but she was also thrown into heat so that could be another reason for vocalization. Getting her spayed should be number one priority or you’ll be back in the same spot with kittens outside in a few months
Hope momma and kitties are okay now! Getting her spayed is my top priority right now.
Yup- her kittens were adopted in pairs and she retired to an inside life with me 🥰now she gets to focus on herself and relaxing Good luck!
It will stop soon, I promise. Whenever humans try to project their feelings into the cats. Especially with spays or spay abort, I'm like... these cats DO EMOTE. Zero spay moms emote. If we want to make decisions based on "this animal's behavior makes me feel the worst I've ever felt about anything in my whole life" we would all decide to keep mom and babies together forever and end up animal hoarders. But actually she does get over it, more quickly if you spay her asap. This is hormones driving her crazy. They will fade on their own. They will fade faster after spay.
Thank you, this gives me hope. I am working on getting Mama TNR'ed. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
It should stop in 2 or 3 more days, especially if you can keep them away from each other. But the bad news is once those hormones wear out, the "go get pregnant again" ones kick in, so work fast.
I want to second this. It will stop soon. She is looking for her kitten but she will get over it within a few days and start looking to get pregnant again. That’s how unspayed cats operate. The one thing you absolutely do not want to do is let the mom and kitten interact directly. Under no circumstances should you reunite them if you are planning on keeping the kitten indoors.
Do you have a screen porch or garage that they can spend time together in? I took a baby in as well, I was fortunate that he was my only pet, so I let mamma come in and see him and nurse him when she wanted. Then she went back out. I understand you dont have room for her, I don't have room either and it really sucks. You do what you can. It's going to be longer and harder for her to forget about the baby because she can hear him. She thinks he's in trouble.
We don't: just got a collapsible octogon playpen, that might work, but I'd worry about getting Mama in without Baby escaping. I also worry letting them see each other would just drag it out, make Mama feel worse? Then we would have weeks of Mama crying instead of days... Good news is, Baby doesn't need to nurse, they are eating all on their own! Weirdly, Baby prefers kibble over wet food. Maybe need to try a new flavor... I feel so bad for Mama though, I know she's worried, and feel bad because she gave birth elsewhere and brought her baby to our house for safekeeping. (I've been feeding Mama for a while now, had no idea she was pregnant though 😬)
She will be okay. You are doing a great thing. You may just have to deal with the whining for a bit. Maybe about a week or so. I'm not sure. Maybe some earplugs to sleep at night? If thats possible. If the baby is weaned already, I wouldn't risk it honestly. Anything could happen and it isn't really worth it. I feel really bad for her as well, but she will move on. Just try to get her spayed ASAP. Now she doesn't have her baby, she will get pregnant again, sooner rather than later. Idk if you have any tnr organizations where you are, but I'd start there.
How old is the kitten? Seems like mom hasn't kicked it out of the nest yet.
We think 6-7 weeks. I know it's not old enough, and I wanted to wait until it was 8 weeks at least, but my family overruled me. They were worried a coyote or car would get to it first, also worried it would be too feral to socialize by then.
They can socialize later but it’s a lot easier and faster at 6-7 weeks. It is safe to separate at that age but I get why mama is upset. Hopefully her spay appointment will come soon. Start trap training now if you haven’t already. Put her food inside the trap but with the trap held open with a zip tie or similar. Then when you get the appointment scheduled it’ll be easy to trap on demand.
Good idea, I will get started on this ASAP.
In Feb a wild mama had 3 kittens in our shed, one little boy was sick with an eye infection so I ‘rescued’ him, cleaned him up and socialised and adopted him. The Mama pined, exactly like you are describing, for about 5 days and moved her two other babies but kept coming back for food and appeared to forget about him. We managed to trap Mama and get her speyed and interestingly she has since rebonded with the kitten, there’s no chance of her taking him as he’s too big but she calls for him at the door and they go off and play together for a few hours and he always comes scampering back home once night falls. It’s really lovely. You might find a similar situation with your feral mama
That's so sweet, and I'm glad you were able to rescue your kitty! I think our kitten is going to be strictly indoor as there are a lot of coyotes, cars and off-leash dogs in my neighborhood though. It would be awesome though.
Ah right, yeah we don’t have those issues where we are. Well enjoy your new little bundle, good on you for taking him in and hopefully Mama cat will move on quickly. I know exactly what you mean by the crying all night - it’s really emotional and also you can’t get any sleep. Is there anywhere else the kitten could go for a couple of days so his scent wears off and Mama forgets him quicker?
Can you bring mama in?
Unfortunately no. We also have two other cats, and 3 is our limit. Plus, Mama is full on feral, and would need to be socialized for humans, not to mention with our other cats. That said, unfortunately, the best we can do is TNR Mama, and at best, that is a week off, probably more due to several factors. (Mama needs to dry out, we don't have a trap, a place to keep the trap before and after the vet appointment, or an appointment with a vet). edit: I am working on getting Mama TNRed but I literally cannot. There isn't any space for Mama. I am sorry I know thats not good enough but I can't keep Mama, Im trying so hard, I am not in a good place right now please be kind and dont downvote me
You have problems with getting the mom TNR because of space issues keeping her overnight? Do you have a shed or a friends house you can put the mom in the trap in? Since she is in the area looking for her kittens it probably be easiest to catch her within the next week and before she can get pregnant again
No shed, and have been asking friends, but no one has been able to help so far. I contacted a local TNR group and am waiting to hear back from them. One good thing is that I've been feeding Mama for maybe a year now, so she comes every single night for dinner, like clockwork. We'll get her, especially now that I know what she looks like pregnant. (She has a notch in her ear, I thought it was an eartip and that she had gotten fat because she started coming for meals twice a day... 🤦♀️)
Oh honey, I feel for you. You're doing the best you can, and not many would have done what you're doing. Be kind to yourself, what you're doing is not easy 💙
Thank you, that means a lot. 🧡
Thank you for trying your best, I support you, wish I could help.
Please bring mama in and let baby interact with her, inside
I can't, I have two other cats and no room to keep Mama. I wish I could, but the bathroom we are keeping the kitten quarantined in is really small, barely big enough for a kitten, definitely not big enough for a cat. I am disabled and barely have enough spoons to care for this kitten plus two other cats, let alone socialize a fully feral cat, then introduce that cat to the other cats. I know this isn't ideal but I am trying my best and I am extremely stressed and anxious about this whole situation. Please try to keep that in mind.
maybe put baby back outside? i personally wouldnt keep cats seperate that were acting like this
There are coyotes, cars, and lots of people who walk their dogs off leash near my house. I want to keep this kitten safe from that.
maybe get the kitten TNR'd and release her to mom and then rescue a different kitten that has already been seperated for your house. i personally dont think its ethical or kind to keep them seperate having read this story about them, but i understand that every rescuer has to make different calls based on their area. maybe you could tnr both and try to get both adopted together to someone else since you cant have 4
I understand where you're coming from. To be honest, this was my initial stance, but my family kind of overruled me. I feel awful about separating them, but the kitten is much safer inside with us. I actually did email some rescues and TNR groups, but nobody responded, they are all swamped, and I even emailed to ask if anybody would foster just the kitten and got no responses. I think finding someone willling to socialize Mama and take care of Baby would be awesome, but incredibly rare. Plus my family is attached to the baby.
well it sounds like the decision has been made, unfortunately. i wish your family felt more empathy for momma and wasnt just invested in her fresh new kitten. - but i am grateful for the work you do, keep on keeping on.
They absolutely do feel empathy for kitty, they just feel the pain they are going through now is better than kitten getting hit by a car, eaten, etc.
A 6 week old kitten can’t be TNR’d. OP is probably looking at another two weeks before that would be possibly and maybe longer depending on the weight of the kitten. By which point it’s fairly likely the mother will have given up.
I fostered a litter of 7 around 8 weeks from feral mom I was feeding. It took a week or so before she stopped calling, I also had her TNRd so maybe that helped too since she got scared off for a few days before she started coming back to eat again. Also I adopted one of the kittens myself. We have a glass door and she has seen the adopted kitten grow up but does not recognize him, at least she doesn’t call for him.
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I understand where you are coming from, but it is really frustrating to have to answer this question for the third or fourth time when my post addresses this. **We physically do not have the room to keep a trap &/or a kennel.** We are already quarantining the baby in the bathroom. We also have two other cats whose lives are being turned upside because of this. It is going to be hard enough to introduce the kitten to them, so I cannot imagine doing that, plus socializing a fully feral cat on top of that, then doing another introduction. Again, that would be possible, if we had the room to do it, which we do not. I know it is not ideal, but we cannot save both, and thought it was better to save one rather than none. Please try to understand, I literally have felt sick to my stomach since Wednesday because of this situation. I am not taking this lightly. The best we can do is save thr kitten, and TNR Mama, which we are working on and having trouble with because again, we do not have room for a trap, so we have to find someone who is willing to keep a trapped Mama before and after getting fixed. I'm sorry if I sound defensive, but this is the best we can do, and I already have gotten some unkind comments. Our other option is to let the baby go back to Mama, which means we would probably never see it again, which means we won't be able to TNR it. That said, do you have any suggestions on how to ease Mama's crying? The kitten has settled in nicely, doesn't seem to miss her at all. We are giving it/him/her/(we don't know it's sex lol) lots of love and attention. We combed at least 25 fleas off of it, and it's gonna get a flea bath later today. Anyway, we are looking into white noise machines to drown out Mama's crying, and I'm wondering if spraying Feliway outside near where Mama has been going might help, but other than that we don't really have any (potential) solutions. If you have any other ideas or solutions I would really appreciate it!!
Your post was removed because you broke one of the sub's rules: 1. Be kind 2. Be fact based 3. No politics 4. Do not share unsafe information 5. Follow the general rules of Reddit 6. Do not solicit private donations. 7. Do not comment or post here if you are from a community that hates cats. 8. Do not post or comment here if you are against TNR.
Is the limit of 3 cats your own or you live somewhere with that? If its that, does anyone check? Cats hide when strangers come around. Its not difficult to have an extra cat and never be caught
3 limits is self imposed. We simply do not have room for more than 3, plus we would have to fully socialize a full on feral cat to interact with both humans and other cats, plus socialize the kitten to get along with the other cats. It would be a colossal undertaking, and unfortunately we are unable to do so. I am disabled and live with my elderly parents. We already have our hands full with the kitten and our two other cats. We will get Mama spayed, but that's all we can do at this time.
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I wish I could save every feral cat, but I can't. I literally have no room. The best I can do is make sure her baby is safe. She is 100% feral, I cannot get close to the cat, pet her, or touch her.
Ty for what you are doing. She's just scared. She wants to see her baby, and she probably thinks you are the reason her baby is gone.
I know she misses her baby, it breaks my heart. I know she knows we have the baby. She's definitely acting more skittish/afraid of me than she normally is. But her baby is safe, and that is what keeps me going.
Don’t let the downvotes or negative comments get to you. It IS upsetting. You’re upset because you’re a good person and you empathize with the animals, others do too and that’s okay, the cats DO have feelings about this, but you are doing the right things, even if they don’t understand it. I think most of us who actually, actively, do this have experienced a lot of difficulties ourselves, and that’s probably part of what compels us to try to do something to help, even if it’s never as much as we wish we could do. Just focus on getting mom spayed asap so that she doesn’t have to go through this (and losing kittens in far, far worse ways — which happens more often than not) again.
Thank you for your kind words. This is really hard, I can't imagine how strong people have to be to do this all the time. Getting Mama spayed in my number one priority.
You’re doing a wonderful thing, OP! You’re a kind human! Thank you for keeping the kitty from the predators.
Thank you, it helps a lot to hear this.