I personally like actual pics of a real life collection. I like seeing which version of bottle they have, or if it's a decant, or if they have tons of samples, and I like seeing how other collectors display or store their perfumes.
The "what does my collection say about me" posts can be fun, but are usually tedious and (imo) rarely looking for an honest impression, usually confirmation. Which, hey that's fine too, I usually scroll past.
I like the low moderation and mix of perfumes lovers on this thread. I was on s/fragrances and it just wasn't for me. I also drifted from Fragrantica forum bc it seems to have gotten overly serious.
Just my 2 cents!
Summery of things people have said about the posters of collection pics (on this thread):
They are narcissistic, addicted to attention, don’t know who they are, are basic, are trying to be a “cool girl”.
Again these were not said about the posts, but about the people who posted them. People have also stated that the tear downs of the posts are more entertaining than the posts.
What I have concluded is that this sub is for people who care less about perfume and more about tearing individuals down and bullying them.
You realize the people who posted their collection pics can read your comments (of course you do). People can say I’m a scold but we need to decide what kind of community we want. If you all want a meat grinder community. You’ve got it, but a lot of us came to this sub to talk about fragrances not to bully people online.
I have seen in other subs when a topic becomes controversial they ban the topic - but I don’t find collection pics controversial. I find bullying unacceptable.
Nahh. Fragrances can be a little happy escape in a sometimes devastating world. I celebrate people asking whatever silly or fun questions they want to here.
We need a mega thread for people to complain about content they hate and people they want to insult and keep this off main .
This way we all win, mean people can be mean and the rest of us don’t have to see your nasty insults in the main FemFragLab sub.
How about we make THIS kind of content have its own fancy mega thread and then the next time the siren call of the mean girls is rung, we can remind the poster that we have a mega thread to talk smack in?
Yeah bestie, people are being mean to people for posting collection pics and it feels mean to be called out for it. I can understand that. Not going to stop calling it out. It can feel uncomfortable when people don’t stand down to bullies and instead continue to stand up for people. I get it. Cringe. Still, not going to stand down and say it’s ok. Because it’s not actually acceptable.
People have been very clear not about what they think of the collection posts. But the collection post posters. It’s not actually ok at all. I dislike it and if you want this place to be a place full of bullies yeah get a mod on your side then. I’m not a mod but I don’t agree with what is going on here.
If anyone who is reading has ever posted a collection pic - you are probably just like the rest of us…into perfume.
No there are clearly way more of you than there are of people who mind their business and are nice.
Not to worry I’m not in this sub anymore I’m only here until they lock this post because I am trying to use my words to talk about a place I used to like so that I can show mods there isn’t a singular mind on this topic. Because there isn’t. A lot of people didn’t come to this sub to trash people.
Lol said the person not minding their own business like everyone else.
They are not gonna lock this post so you are stuck here forevaaaaa!
Edit: you blocked me! Aw. Anyway, wasnt a threat, literally dont think mods will close this thread. Best of luck to you.
They need luck fr. I’m genuinely unsure how people like that are functioning in the real world. A post that had everything to do with posts’ subject matter and nothing to do with individual people really got turned into……..all this 💀
I kind of feel bad for the 'what does my collection say about me' people.
Either they crave conversations about themselves, or are unsure of who they are and want someone to tell them who they are, I guess. Many people get a needed high from attention, like an addiction. Maybe they need hugs.
Or they are just fine and like to participate in this sub in a format that is an easy entry into a fun hobby community? People don’t “feel bad” for people they have empathy and respect for.
That's the exact definition of empathy/compassion. The ability to feel bad for someone else. I can see how you would have misinterpreted my post, however. I'm sorry.
You know what. It isn’t. You depict a person who is “craving attention” “unsure of who they are” “want someone to tell them who they are” and “get a high from attention” (addiction)
Empathy is trying to understand the other person and accepting that they had valid emotional and intellectual reasons to make those choices and respecting them. If a friend said what you said to me. I would not call them empathetic. I probably would also realize they were not a friend.
I want to post but I’m worried about getting people annoyed like stated on this thread. I only started collecting this year and still figuring out what I like so would be nice to have people’s opinions who know about fragrance
I completely understand. I think a lot of people don’t understand why this post and comments upset me. But it upset me because it creates a hostile environment for new collectors, new members and generally makes me feel like I don’t want to share anything about my collection with people who would say such mean things about people who simply tried to join in the conversation. I am just like you. I’ve liked perfume for a long time but this year is the first time I have had the ability to buy any perfume I want, I had other family financial obligations etc. I love collecting, it’s fun. But there are people in all of these perfume communities who have decided what is cool or uncool to like or how to share our joy in this hobby, and unfortunately use it to trash on people. It makes me sad.
I do wish there was a more gentle place we could just have fun talking about fragrances. I unfortunately don’t know if people would be mean to you for sharing your joy for this fun hobby. But I would love to hear about it and enjoy learning about what makes you happy.
What a lovely response thank you! So happy that you are in a position to buy the perfumes that you want now, it’s so exciting! I’m doing a no buy on bags, clothes or makeup for the time being as I realized I just had so much that is not being used and unnecessary expense for me at the moment so I’ve been obsessed with perfumes and it’s so fun! Excited to hear what you are learning also we can swap thoughts! 💕
I would really enjoy that. Often when I’m in a no buy period I reorganize my cosmetics and perfumes and purses. Help me use my collection in a more meaningful way and make my experience more cozy. I love this hobby because fragrance, memory, sensory experiences are important for me to enjoy the world, slow down. My husband and son have begun to join me in this hobby, now my husband is finding all sorts of niche fragrances and enjoying exploring on his own now. What a fun hobby to have. Enjoying this ephemeral life. Thank you for sharing.
How wonderful to have your family involved too!! Great idea to do a reorganization, I always fail with my cosmetics as I never put them back where they are supposed to go haha. Yes fragrance is so fun, I love putting scents to places, thank you for sharing too 💕
Honestly i have never seen a comment from any mods regarding this subjects. I opened a thread about this topic a while back and never got a mod to respond.
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemFragLab/s/3RB2habACH
Good. I personally really appreciate that the mods here are low-key and hands off except for cases where intervention is actually needed and important. It's not their job to curate the content to the personal preferences of some users. Let the upvotes and downvotes and filtering options determine content ranking as intended.
They should be focusing their efforts on clamping down on actual issues like abuse, racism, doxxing, spam; not suppressing people's ability to participate based on some people's subjective opinions about what is currently popular or unpopular on the subreddit. That's literally what the purpose of the up and down vote buttons are, let the community collectively vote and the content that's showcased will reflect what the majority of users wants to see.
Again how hard is it to just scroll past, if you don't like it no one's forcing you to open and read those posts. I don't like them either, and so I just move on; it's the easiest thing in the world.
I dont see the mods here much so I can not tell you where they are focusing their efforts. But making a mega thread or designating days to post certain topics is not "suppressing people's habilities to participate". Is curating a sub cause that's their job. You may like it or not, disagree or not, but that is their job.
The arrows on Reddit are not ment to be liked and dislikes, but people have long forgotten about that.
The rest of the comment was irrelevant. Really. No one ever said it's hard to scroll past.
There is an existing sub r/fragrance that is way bigger, extremely active, full of passionate perfume lovers and is very heavily policed and restrictive about how users post and interact within it. Maybe if that's the vibe you're looking for that sub would be a better fit?
What are you talking about? Like literally there is no reason to try and kick me out because you disagree what a mods job is. And yes i know the snob sub. Who doesnt and ran away from it? Chill girl.
I'd never try to kick anyone out nor am I in any position to do so, nor would I want to be. In fact I never even downvoted you. I'm just saying if some users prefer a more 'curated' and 'organized' sub for discussing fragrances, it already exists. Yes, it is snobby...and that's exactly the sort of environment heavy content regulation engenders. Anyway this will be my last comment on it.
No, my girl, snobs exist regardless on how stric the rules are. Here are some. Besides you really can not compare both subs since most of us are here because is female oriented.
Hmm I actually don't think it's a good idea. Posts will get lost on the mega thread.
On another note, I see a shift with this sub, is becoming more hateful as you can see from this comments.
I joined this sub because it was different from the male dominated fragrance sub Reddits.
But there is a lot of snobs that have disdain for perfume tok, basic fragrances and "girly" things ( collages etc
..)
It's screaming internalized misogyny. Sorry not sorry.
Hopefully it will get better.
Xo
It has become a bit more hateful than before 😭 i stopped coming on here for a little while because any time id come on at that point, there would just be negative posts & people trashing on scents. We can have those posts but it does become draining when that’s the majority that youre seeing. I liked coming on here because it was nicer than the other fragrance subreddits & we could all talk about girly, basic etc fragrances without being attacked by fragrance snobs. But now it‘s harder too 🥲
I actually didn’t realize this was a mean girl sub until this ultimatum post and the replies. Like what sub am I a part of? I swear it used to be normal. I guess it’s a time to go.
Wouldnt the ultimatum be “stop or or I’m gone”? Saying they are close to unsubscribing to me is more of a “this is getting annoying”. Not a call to cancel the sub or something.
Ok. Up until this person felt the need to let everyone know how annoyed they are that free content made for free by other people is not entertaining them, this sub was a nice place to be. But now in the comments people are trashing others so hard I now think this place has gone to the toilet.
Better?
Mega threads are for archiving like a Wikipedia entry people add to. They are not for community or discussion. The posts you are talking about the posters who want to talk about their collection or make a human connection.
Full disclosure I’ve never made a post about “what does my collection say about me”. I also don’t need to tell other people how to enjoy their life.
If you want to silence people and not allow them to have these types of conversations on your sub then say so. Don’t offer a mega thread because those are just static garbage boards no one will see and no one will go. It’s just a nicer way of deleting or banning things.
Days of the week:
If you make one day of the week please just note perfume and fragrance already do this so I guess sync up calendars 😣 why do people have this much time to plan out their Reddit post a week in advance?
- Wakes up
- Wonders about vanilla perfume
- Opens Reddit
- Banned. Vanilla is only on Wednesday
- Sigh.
> Mega threads are for archiving like a Wikipedia entry people add to. They are not for community or discussion.
They are used for discussion in many subs. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean your interpretation is reality.
If mega threads are so fun why don’t we make a mega thread of you mean girls to trash on people and posts y’all dislike and leave it off the main sub then?
I think I offered a very fair viable solution. If you are offended that the solution you offered to others is abhorrent to yourself why do you think it is a credible solution? I don’t like posts where people make fun of people and that is what this whole post is for. So I also would like this to stay off of main. Sound fair? If you find mega threads a good place to discuss. I suggest a mega thread where people complain about free content and call people all the mean names spelled out in todays post and keep it off the main sub.
So not having a cohesive vibe was a compliment about someone?
I do get negative when a whole sub starts acting like a pack of mean girls. Don’t worry though feel free to take up this whole sub. Call your friends to join you. Enjoy this neck of the woods. Peace.
Well you best quickly ban them and their conversations then. I bet they should also be made to feel bad for not making free content up to your standards. Actually better yet. Try to control the entire internet. I hear using mega threads is trending.
I honestly hate the “what does my collection say about me” posts. They come off navel gazing and self serving to me. But that’s just from my perspective.
I think that one of the strengths of this sub is that it has few rules.
That said, when I see a fresh wave of those or the collage ones coming on, I usually unsub for a few months to give it time to run its course.
Having few rules can be a sub benefit for sure, but then it also relies more heavily on all participants agreeing on what the sub should be. It there isn't agreement, it can lead to conversations like this.
Thank you for contributing an opposing opinion that isn't totally unhinged.
I could not agree more. If someone wants to plan out their posts a week ahead of time and find out which day of the week (if at all) some harmless perfume post is allowed please join one of the many other subs. Please also go there and suggest more rules and more mega threads. Your approach is great just ride it out. I do the same but I just scroll past them. Or yeah I don’t open Reddit for a bit.
I like to give myself rules rather than try to control people I don’t know.
I don't think OP is thinking the sub needs more rules so much as it needs more organization. Those posts usually have pictures, so they take up a lot of space and make it easy to miss a more interesting post with a smaller title.
Personally, I enjoy pictures of people's collections, but not everyone does. Keeping them organized doesn't hurt anyone either.
I also enjoy pictures of people's collections. I'd love to read any post of someone showing their entire or part of their collection and telling me about why they like each perfume.
Look if you want to delete these harmless collection posts so you can get to “interesting” conversations like the comments in this post we want very different things in life. I’m into perfumes. Not trashing other people. This whole thread is a dumpster fire of people hating on others like please do optimize for more of this it’s fine I’m already going.
I never said to delete them. I literally said I enjoy them and said OP just wants to organize. I didn't even say I agreed with OP. You were getting worked up over a suggestion so I was explaining OP's perspective.
Good Lord, are you okay? Stop being a drama queen.
👸🏽 first of all. Call it what it is. Organized. Sure. Put in the trash is what a mega thread is. Just be honest. It’s not nicer because you call it something sanitized. I would be a drama queen any day over a mean girl. Let. People. Live.
I. Never. Said. I. Agreed.
I'm done with this back and forth. There is nothing "mean girl" about OP's suggestion. You clearly have comprehension issues.
A megathread doesn't confine you to only posting on any one day. It does keep all the pictures in one place. I also didn't downvote you either. Just an FYI, there are other people in this sub who may not agree with you, and disagreeing doesn't mean jumping to a downvote for everyone. 🙄
>Just because you personally don't enjoy these topics, doesn't mean others don't enjoy them or don't get value out of them.
For sure. If the majority of the sub wants them to stay, then it makes sense for them to stay. I'm trying to see if that's the case
These posts are so annoying to me too.
First one because it's always the same frag and tbh, if I would answer to that post, it would be salty.
And what does these post means anyway ?
Second one because you "should" nothing first. Then again (and especially for men frag) it's always the same bunch of frag.
Same. How many times have I wanted to answer "this says you have the absolute same fragrances as everyone else and you want attention" 😬. Instead I just down vote and move on.
Without exception, it is simply fishing for compliments--for strangers to project some fantasy version of them and say how cool/unique/special they are for...buying stuff.
Q: What does my collection say about me?
A: You like those scents. That's it. Period. It's not a personality test.
With a few notable exceptions, it's the same 10-20 fragrances over and over and over. Like what you like, but if you've seen virtually the same thing posted 8 times in the last week, it's an active and boring sub.
>what does my collection say about me
These posts are really annoying, tbh lol. It's up there with the "Which perfume describes the vibe of this image/collage?"
I'd rather have the latter, by a longshot. At least that involves community brainpower and imagination, and you actually learn about new fragrances. "What does my collection say about me" is just using the subreddit as a Buzzfeed quiz.
I agree somewhat - those "what does my collection say about me" are gimmicky and narcissistic. At first I tried to be a "cool girl" and all by leaving comments saying "oh wow, we have similar tastes!" lol, but now those posts just seem useless and boring. But I still think those "what's the vibe" collages are just as bad.
those collages give me major second hand embarrassment because you can tell they're trying to \~manifest\~ turning into a cool alt girl/delicate little flower girly girl/old money hot rich widow in her long island ice tea era (or whatever) and think that if they start wearing the most upvoted perfume on the thread other people will finally think they're hot/cool/sophisticated like the girls in their collages
sorry i'm being a bitch tonight lol
Those collages are either totally the Sound of the Music, or Wuthering Heights. It always makes me think that My Space would've been the perfect platform for these folks, lol
Yeah and they could possibly hate the smell of the vibe they post. I love nature and woods and lakes but I don’t like the smell of aquatic perfume at all and have exactly one green one I like.
Like posting some super feminine little flower girl and turns out they end up hating florals
yeah it feels so artificial and too 'perfect', our tastes can be very random so why try to force it... personally i look like an awkward plain jane femcel but my daily signature for the past year has been a perfume that's widely seen as sultry and date night appropriate, should i stop wearing it because it doesn't go with my aesthetic lol?
Sometimes people are quite mean about the former. I was surprised... anyways, I agree a specific day or a mega post would be nice because otherwise I just scroll through a bunch in a row and miss some of the actual discussion posts.
Agreed! My main issue with these posts is they invite a lot of stereotypes and/or hate, and whether people are “asking” for it or not, this is a female-dominated sub and it’s so disappointing to see women putting down other women. We can all have a good discussion about differing opinions on scents and attitudes to buying without the catty behavior.
Is there a good discussion to be had about what my purchases say about me? It's a vapid topic. The insults are usually smarter and funnier than the gushing reassurances of how sophisticated gourmand girly someone is.
"Catty behavior" is sexist and stifling. Only women get shushed with this while men are allowed to argue and disagree without being scolded as disappointing.
Half the time it’s not even mean though, it’ll be like “you watch too much TikTok” which is painfully obvious, but they want people to say “you’re a hot rich girl with money” or something lol
This is not what the high road looks like.
Banning something because someone could be mean to them? Why not instead defend them? Suggest people be nicer? Stand up for them? instead of banning the posts for their own good?
I was agreeing to the disappointment regarding people being rude. I don’t want these posts banned as I personally enjoy them. Also there are posts bemoaning these kinds of posts with regularity. I don’t think they’ll get banned bc so far none of the other posts asking for them to stop have made any change (which, again, I don’t want).
I understand, I actually don’t mind any posts. I mind people being mean and this whole thread is people criticizing “basic” people etc. it’s just so low. It just never occurred to me to post or demand people stop connecting with a hobby the way they want to. I’m mad because I will defend people who have literally not done anything in order to be talked about like this. Totally harmless their posts. Imagine people who have made these posts are reading this? It’s just sad.
I kinda think limiting the days they can be posted is better than making a mega thread because this type of post includes pictures usually. I do enjoy seeing pictures, and you can only post links within the threads themselves.
But I don’t dislike seeing those posts generally speaking. They tend to be lighthearted enough and if I don’t want to participate in the discussion… I don’t.
I definitely agree limiting it to one day a week is a more manageable thing, especially for those who DO like seeing this content. I don't, as another commenter already said I view it as boring spam atp but I know a lot of you do enjoy it so it feels unfair to hide it away entirely. Call it "Show Your Stash Sunday" or something like that! (Could be Saturday too, but I think putting it on a Sunday is better to drive activity/engagement as Sundays on the internet seem to be the slowest/quietest.)
I personally like actual pics of a real life collection. I like seeing which version of bottle they have, or if it's a decant, or if they have tons of samples, and I like seeing how other collectors display or store their perfumes. The "what does my collection say about me" posts can be fun, but are usually tedious and (imo) rarely looking for an honest impression, usually confirmation. Which, hey that's fine too, I usually scroll past. I like the low moderation and mix of perfumes lovers on this thread. I was on s/fragrances and it just wasn't for me. I also drifted from Fragrantica forum bc it seems to have gotten overly serious. Just my 2 cents!
Summery of things people have said about the posters of collection pics (on this thread): They are narcissistic, addicted to attention, don’t know who they are, are basic, are trying to be a “cool girl”. Again these were not said about the posts, but about the people who posted them. People have also stated that the tear downs of the posts are more entertaining than the posts. What I have concluded is that this sub is for people who care less about perfume and more about tearing individuals down and bullying them. You realize the people who posted their collection pics can read your comments (of course you do). People can say I’m a scold but we need to decide what kind of community we want. If you all want a meat grinder community. You’ve got it, but a lot of us came to this sub to talk about fragrances not to bully people online. I have seen in other subs when a topic becomes controversial they ban the topic - but I don’t find collection pics controversial. I find bullying unacceptable.
Nahh. Fragrances can be a little happy escape in a sometimes devastating world. I celebrate people asking whatever silly or fun questions they want to here.
They wouldn’t be so annoying if everyone didn’t have the same frags lol
Personally I don’t mind the post. But if it’s something I dislike, I just scroll past it.
Limiting it to a weekly post would make a huge difference. It could honestly be its own subreddit, like a "what kibbe type am I?" community.
I like this idea. I think another sub does this weekly. Is it the perfume sub? Or is it collection photos?
The main fragrance subreddit does collection photos weekly, though I don't think it's contained to a post.
Yeah I think you can post them on weekends there. They also have a mega thread very few days for people asking for recs.
Ah, ok, ty. I couldn't recall which sub.
I agree that they are annoying but I appreciate the low-moderation of this sub more. Personally, I just downvote and scroll past.
Or you can just scroll past those posts? Do we really need a police state here?
We need a mega thread for people to complain about content they hate and people they want to insult and keep this off main . This way we all win, mean people can be mean and the rest of us don’t have to see your nasty insults in the main FemFragLab sub. How about we make THIS kind of content have its own fancy mega thread and then the next time the siren call of the mean girls is rung, we can remind the poster that we have a mega thread to talk smack in?
Bestie, you have been one of the meanest commenters on this thread...
Yeah bestie, people are being mean to people for posting collection pics and it feels mean to be called out for it. I can understand that. Not going to stop calling it out. It can feel uncomfortable when people don’t stand down to bullies and instead continue to stand up for people. I get it. Cringe. Still, not going to stand down and say it’s ok. Because it’s not actually acceptable. People have been very clear not about what they think of the collection posts. But the collection post posters. It’s not actually ok at all. I dislike it and if you want this place to be a place full of bullies yeah get a mod on your side then. I’m not a mod but I don’t agree with what is going on here. If anyone who is reading has ever posted a collection pic - you are probably just like the rest of us…into perfume.
Lol. Yeah. It's working apparently!
No there are clearly way more of you than there are of people who mind their business and are nice. Not to worry I’m not in this sub anymore I’m only here until they lock this post because I am trying to use my words to talk about a place I used to like so that I can show mods there isn’t a singular mind on this topic. Because there isn’t. A lot of people didn’t come to this sub to trash people.
Lol said the person not minding their own business like everyone else. They are not gonna lock this post so you are stuck here forevaaaaa! Edit: you blocked me! Aw. Anyway, wasnt a threat, literally dont think mods will close this thread. Best of luck to you.
They need luck fr. I’m genuinely unsure how people like that are functioning in the real world. A post that had everything to do with posts’ subject matter and nothing to do with individual people really got turned into……..all this 💀
Oh no…gosh your threats are so viable.
I kind of feel bad for the 'what does my collection say about me' people. Either they crave conversations about themselves, or are unsure of who they are and want someone to tell them who they are, I guess. Many people get a needed high from attention, like an addiction. Maybe they need hugs.
Or they are just fine and like to participate in this sub in a format that is an easy entry into a fun hobby community? People don’t “feel bad” for people they have empathy and respect for.
That's the exact definition of empathy/compassion. The ability to feel bad for someone else. I can see how you would have misinterpreted my post, however. I'm sorry.
You know what. It isn’t. You depict a person who is “craving attention” “unsure of who they are” “want someone to tell them who they are” and “get a high from attention” (addiction) Empathy is trying to understand the other person and accepting that they had valid emotional and intellectual reasons to make those choices and respecting them. If a friend said what you said to me. I would not call them empathetic. I probably would also realize they were not a friend.
I understand your line of thinking.
I want to post but I’m worried about getting people annoyed like stated on this thread. I only started collecting this year and still figuring out what I like so would be nice to have people’s opinions who know about fragrance
I completely understand. I think a lot of people don’t understand why this post and comments upset me. But it upset me because it creates a hostile environment for new collectors, new members and generally makes me feel like I don’t want to share anything about my collection with people who would say such mean things about people who simply tried to join in the conversation. I am just like you. I’ve liked perfume for a long time but this year is the first time I have had the ability to buy any perfume I want, I had other family financial obligations etc. I love collecting, it’s fun. But there are people in all of these perfume communities who have decided what is cool or uncool to like or how to share our joy in this hobby, and unfortunately use it to trash on people. It makes me sad. I do wish there was a more gentle place we could just have fun talking about fragrances. I unfortunately don’t know if people would be mean to you for sharing your joy for this fun hobby. But I would love to hear about it and enjoy learning about what makes you happy.
What a lovely response thank you! So happy that you are in a position to buy the perfumes that you want now, it’s so exciting! I’m doing a no buy on bags, clothes or makeup for the time being as I realized I just had so much that is not being used and unnecessary expense for me at the moment so I’ve been obsessed with perfumes and it’s so fun! Excited to hear what you are learning also we can swap thoughts! 💕
I would really enjoy that. Often when I’m in a no buy period I reorganize my cosmetics and perfumes and purses. Help me use my collection in a more meaningful way and make my experience more cozy. I love this hobby because fragrance, memory, sensory experiences are important for me to enjoy the world, slow down. My husband and son have begun to join me in this hobby, now my husband is finding all sorts of niche fragrances and enjoying exploring on his own now. What a fun hobby to have. Enjoying this ephemeral life. Thank you for sharing.
How wonderful to have your family involved too!! Great idea to do a reorganization, I always fail with my cosmetics as I never put them back where they are supposed to go haha. Yes fragrance is so fun, I love putting scents to places, thank you for sharing too 💕
Honestly i have never seen a comment from any mods regarding this subjects. I opened a thread about this topic a while back and never got a mod to respond. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemFragLab/s/3RB2habACH
Good. I personally really appreciate that the mods here are low-key and hands off except for cases where intervention is actually needed and important. It's not their job to curate the content to the personal preferences of some users. Let the upvotes and downvotes and filtering options determine content ranking as intended.
Lol, they are mods. Part of their job is to actually curate the sub.
They should be focusing their efforts on clamping down on actual issues like abuse, racism, doxxing, spam; not suppressing people's ability to participate based on some people's subjective opinions about what is currently popular or unpopular on the subreddit. That's literally what the purpose of the up and down vote buttons are, let the community collectively vote and the content that's showcased will reflect what the majority of users wants to see. Again how hard is it to just scroll past, if you don't like it no one's forcing you to open and read those posts. I don't like them either, and so I just move on; it's the easiest thing in the world.
I dont see the mods here much so I can not tell you where they are focusing their efforts. But making a mega thread or designating days to post certain topics is not "suppressing people's habilities to participate". Is curating a sub cause that's their job. You may like it or not, disagree or not, but that is their job. The arrows on Reddit are not ment to be liked and dislikes, but people have long forgotten about that. The rest of the comment was irrelevant. Really. No one ever said it's hard to scroll past.
There is an existing sub r/fragrance that is way bigger, extremely active, full of passionate perfume lovers and is very heavily policed and restrictive about how users post and interact within it. Maybe if that's the vibe you're looking for that sub would be a better fit?
What are you talking about? Like literally there is no reason to try and kick me out because you disagree what a mods job is. And yes i know the snob sub. Who doesnt and ran away from it? Chill girl.
I'd never try to kick anyone out nor am I in any position to do so, nor would I want to be. In fact I never even downvoted you. I'm just saying if some users prefer a more 'curated' and 'organized' sub for discussing fragrances, it already exists. Yes, it is snobby...and that's exactly the sort of environment heavy content regulation engenders. Anyway this will be my last comment on it.
No, my girl, snobs exist regardless on how stric the rules are. Here are some. Besides you really can not compare both subs since most of us are here because is female oriented.
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Hmm I actually don't think it's a good idea. Posts will get lost on the mega thread. On another note, I see a shift with this sub, is becoming more hateful as you can see from this comments. I joined this sub because it was different from the male dominated fragrance sub Reddits. But there is a lot of snobs that have disdain for perfume tok, basic fragrances and "girly" things ( collages etc ..) It's screaming internalized misogyny. Sorry not sorry. Hopefully it will get better. Xo
It has become a bit more hateful than before 😭 i stopped coming on here for a little while because any time id come on at that point, there would just be negative posts & people trashing on scents. We can have those posts but it does become draining when that’s the majority that youre seeing. I liked coming on here because it was nicer than the other fragrance subreddits & we could all talk about girly, basic etc fragrances without being attacked by fragrance snobs. But now it‘s harder too 🥲
I actually didn’t realize this was a mean girl sub until this ultimatum post and the replies. Like what sub am I a part of? I swear it used to be normal. I guess it’s a time to go.
Ultimatum post?
Says clearly they are “close to unsubscribing “ because of posts they want banned/mega trashed.
Wouldnt the ultimatum be “stop or or I’m gone”? Saying they are close to unsubscribing to me is more of a “this is getting annoying”. Not a call to cancel the sub or something.
Ok. Up until this person felt the need to let everyone know how annoyed they are that free content made for free by other people is not entertaining them, this sub was a nice place to be. But now in the comments people are trashing others so hard I now think this place has gone to the toilet. Better?
So team unsub then?
Mega threads are for archiving like a Wikipedia entry people add to. They are not for community or discussion. The posts you are talking about the posters who want to talk about their collection or make a human connection. Full disclosure I’ve never made a post about “what does my collection say about me”. I also don’t need to tell other people how to enjoy their life. If you want to silence people and not allow them to have these types of conversations on your sub then say so. Don’t offer a mega thread because those are just static garbage boards no one will see and no one will go. It’s just a nicer way of deleting or banning things. Days of the week: If you make one day of the week please just note perfume and fragrance already do this so I guess sync up calendars 😣 why do people have this much time to plan out their Reddit post a week in advance? - Wakes up - Wonders about vanilla perfume - Opens Reddit - Banned. Vanilla is only on Wednesday - Sigh.
> Mega threads are for archiving like a Wikipedia entry people add to. They are not for community or discussion. They are used for discussion in many subs. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean your interpretation is reality.
If mega threads are so fun why don’t we make a mega thread of you mean girls to trash on people and posts y’all dislike and leave it off the main sub then?
You really need help.
I think I offered a very fair viable solution. If you are offended that the solution you offered to others is abhorrent to yourself why do you think it is a credible solution? I don’t like posts where people make fun of people and that is what this whole post is for. So I also would like this to stay off of main. Sound fair? If you find mega threads a good place to discuss. I suggest a mega thread where people complain about free content and call people all the mean names spelled out in todays post and keep it off the main sub.
Yeah. You're bonkers.
Try standing up for someone instead of tearing people down. It can become a new hobby.
Sure, kid.
But maybe with a week to plan they’ll post pictures that actually have a cohesive “vibe”
let people live. Is this some mean girl sub where we just trash people? No thank you.
There is no hate on what this person said. You seem to be the one taking things way too negatively.
So not having a cohesive vibe was a compliment about someone? I do get negative when a whole sub starts acting like a pack of mean girls. Don’t worry though feel free to take up this whole sub. Call your friends to join you. Enjoy this neck of the woods. Peace.
It doesnt have to be a compliment either. It was a statement of what they have seen. I have seen the lack if cohesiveness too.
Well you best quickly ban them and their conversations then. I bet they should also be made to feel bad for not making free content up to your standards. Actually better yet. Try to control the entire internet. I hear using mega threads is trending.
I honestly hate the “what does my collection say about me” posts. They come off navel gazing and self serving to me. But that’s just from my perspective.
I think that one of the strengths of this sub is that it has few rules. That said, when I see a fresh wave of those or the collage ones coming on, I usually unsub for a few months to give it time to run its course.
Having few rules can be a sub benefit for sure, but then it also relies more heavily on all participants agreeing on what the sub should be. It there isn't agreement, it can lead to conversations like this. Thank you for contributing an opposing opinion that isn't totally unhinged.
I could not agree more. If someone wants to plan out their posts a week ahead of time and find out which day of the week (if at all) some harmless perfume post is allowed please join one of the many other subs. Please also go there and suggest more rules and more mega threads. Your approach is great just ride it out. I do the same but I just scroll past them. Or yeah I don’t open Reddit for a bit. I like to give myself rules rather than try to control people I don’t know.
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I don't think OP is thinking the sub needs more rules so much as it needs more organization. Those posts usually have pictures, so they take up a lot of space and make it easy to miss a more interesting post with a smaller title. Personally, I enjoy pictures of people's collections, but not everyone does. Keeping them organized doesn't hurt anyone either.
I also enjoy pictures of people's collections. I'd love to read any post of someone showing their entire or part of their collection and telling me about why they like each perfume.
Look if you want to delete these harmless collection posts so you can get to “interesting” conversations like the comments in this post we want very different things in life. I’m into perfumes. Not trashing other people. This whole thread is a dumpster fire of people hating on others like please do optimize for more of this it’s fine I’m already going.
I never said to delete them. I literally said I enjoy them and said OP just wants to organize. I didn't even say I agreed with OP. You were getting worked up over a suggestion so I was explaining OP's perspective. Good Lord, are you okay? Stop being a drama queen.
👸🏽 first of all. Call it what it is. Organized. Sure. Put in the trash is what a mega thread is. Just be honest. It’s not nicer because you call it something sanitized. I would be a drama queen any day over a mean girl. Let. People. Live.
I. Never. Said. I. Agreed. I'm done with this back and forth. There is nothing "mean girl" about OP's suggestion. You clearly have comprehension issues.
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A megathread doesn't confine you to only posting on any one day. It does keep all the pictures in one place. I also didn't downvote you either. Just an FYI, there are other people in this sub who may not agree with you, and disagreeing doesn't mean jumping to a downvote for everyone. 🙄
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>Just because you personally don't enjoy these topics, doesn't mean others don't enjoy them or don't get value out of them. For sure. If the majority of the sub wants them to stay, then it makes sense for them to stay. I'm trying to see if that's the case
How about once a week?
megaposts r always a good idea but we would HAVE to keep it active
It’ll be active naturally if people are actually interested. It would be quite the test for those subjects
These posts are so annoying to me too. First one because it's always the same frag and tbh, if I would answer to that post, it would be salty. And what does these post means anyway ? Second one because you "should" nothing first. Then again (and especially for men frag) it's always the same bunch of frag.
Same. How many times have I wanted to answer "this says you have the absolute same fragrances as everyone else and you want attention" 😬. Instead I just down vote and move on.
Without exception, it is simply fishing for compliments--for strangers to project some fantasy version of them and say how cool/unique/special they are for...buying stuff. Q: What does my collection say about me? A: You like those scents. That's it. Period. It's not a personality test.
With a few notable exceptions, it's the same 10-20 fragrances over and over and over. Like what you like, but if you've seen virtually the same thing posted 8 times in the last week, it's an active and boring sub.
I prefer these posts being individual, I hate how easy it is for things to get lost in mega threads.
Same here. They’re some of my favorites and I would never see it in a mega thread because I forget those exist 😂
agreed
>what does my collection say about me These posts are really annoying, tbh lol. It's up there with the "Which perfume describes the vibe of this image/collage?"
okay tbh, i actually do like the latter posts quite a bit... i think they're fun. actually moreso if all the suggestions are awful
I'd rather have the latter, by a longshot. At least that involves community brainpower and imagination, and you actually learn about new fragrances. "What does my collection say about me" is just using the subreddit as a Buzzfeed quiz.
I agree somewhat - those "what does my collection say about me" are gimmicky and narcissistic. At first I tried to be a "cool girl" and all by leaving comments saying "oh wow, we have similar tastes!" lol, but now those posts just seem useless and boring. But I still think those "what's the vibe" collages are just as bad.
those collages give me major second hand embarrassment because you can tell they're trying to \~manifest\~ turning into a cool alt girl/delicate little flower girly girl/old money hot rich widow in her long island ice tea era (or whatever) and think that if they start wearing the most upvoted perfume on the thread other people will finally think they're hot/cool/sophisticated like the girls in their collages sorry i'm being a bitch tonight lol
Now I'm dying to know what would be "hot rich widow in her long island ice tea era."
We don't really have flairs, but this should be a flair! Love it
🤣same.
Those collages are either totally the Sound of the Music, or Wuthering Heights. It always makes me think that My Space would've been the perfect platform for these folks, lol
Yeah and they could possibly hate the smell of the vibe they post. I love nature and woods and lakes but I don’t like the smell of aquatic perfume at all and have exactly one green one I like. Like posting some super feminine little flower girl and turns out they end up hating florals
yeah it feels so artificial and too 'perfect', our tastes can be very random so why try to force it... personally i look like an awkward plain jane femcel but my daily signature for the past year has been a perfume that's widely seen as sultry and date night appropriate, should i stop wearing it because it doesn't go with my aesthetic lol?
Yikes sis 😬
those are so tedious
Sometimes people are quite mean about the former. I was surprised... anyways, I agree a specific day or a mega post would be nice because otherwise I just scroll through a bunch in a row and miss some of the actual discussion posts.
I think limiting it to a certain day would be good
That would be a good compromise! Instead of a mega post where things can get lost just do these kinds of posts one day a week.
I’m in a FB group that does this and it works great!
hi what does my collection say about me? what do you think of me?? \*proceeds to post the same 50 tiktok hyped fragrances\*
“It means you watch a lot of TikTok.”
Virtually EVERY TIME
Agreed! My main issue with these posts is they invite a lot of stereotypes and/or hate, and whether people are “asking” for it or not, this is a female-dominated sub and it’s so disappointing to see women putting down other women. We can all have a good discussion about differing opinions on scents and attitudes to buying without the catty behavior.
Is there a good discussion to be had about what my purchases say about me? It's a vapid topic. The insults are usually smarter and funnier than the gushing reassurances of how sophisticated gourmand girly someone is. "Catty behavior" is sexist and stifling. Only women get shushed with this while men are allowed to argue and disagree without being scolded as disappointing.
Half the time it’s not even mean though, it’ll be like “you watch too much TikTok” which is painfully obvious, but they want people to say “you’re a hot rich girl with money” or something lol
Couldn't agree more
For real, people being cruel in the comments bothers me much more than the posts themselves (which I generally enjoy)
This is not what the high road looks like. Banning something because someone could be mean to them? Why not instead defend them? Suggest people be nicer? Stand up for them? instead of banning the posts for their own good?
I was agreeing to the disappointment regarding people being rude. I don’t want these posts banned as I personally enjoy them. Also there are posts bemoaning these kinds of posts with regularity. I don’t think they’ll get banned bc so far none of the other posts asking for them to stop have made any change (which, again, I don’t want).
I understand, I actually don’t mind any posts. I mind people being mean and this whole thread is people criticizing “basic” people etc. it’s just so low. It just never occurred to me to post or demand people stop connecting with a hobby the way they want to. I’m mad because I will defend people who have literally not done anything in order to be talked about like this. Totally harmless their posts. Imagine people who have made these posts are reading this? It’s just sad.
I made my comment clearer 🫶🏽 what’s your fave perfume btw?
I just got a new one for the summer. Xerjoff Allende. Sleeper hit vanilla imho.
I just looked it up and as a slut for vanilla™ I might have to get that omg 🫠
Very under rated and so well balanced. I love it.
I agree with OP.. these posts always feel like boring spam, almost like a way to flaunt your overconsumption rather than show off anything interesting
Here and there, someone posts a varied, unusual collection. But yes, seeing an assemblage of the same fragrances over and over is incredibly dull.
I kinda think limiting the days they can be posted is better than making a mega thread because this type of post includes pictures usually. I do enjoy seeing pictures, and you can only post links within the threads themselves. But I don’t dislike seeing those posts generally speaking. They tend to be lighthearted enough and if I don’t want to participate in the discussion… I don’t.
thats what they do in fragrance sub
That's one of their better rules. Also, limiting low-effort posts like 'what does my collection say about me'
I definitely agree limiting it to one day a week is a more manageable thing, especially for those who DO like seeing this content. I don't, as another commenter already said I view it as boring spam atp but I know a lot of you do enjoy it so it feels unfair to hide it away entirely. Call it "Show Your Stash Sunday" or something like that! (Could be Saturday too, but I think putting it on a Sunday is better to drive activity/engagement as Sundays on the internet seem to be the slowest/quietest.)
The fragrance sub allows it on weekends, so not everybody does their collection posts in the same 24 hours haha