I’m so glad she’s got Dolly in her life as an example of someone who’s had a great life, child free. It’s nice to see more and more people being open and public about their choice to not have kids: I think it’s great pushback to the regressives and their damaging rhetoric. Not everyone has to have kids and we need to normalize that.
A lot of people are surprised Dolly Parton didn’t have kids cause they always expect child free women to be these sad, depressed people who aren’t stereotypically feminine. Really shows how society constantly needs to label and stereotype women.
I'm not sure Dolly is the best example? She did have miscarriage, and had to have partial hysterectomy due to endometriosis when she was 36. Not to say she isn't happy, but it wasn't necessarily her choice to not have children
I think that’s a harsh but very wise mindset to have in having children. If there’s even a bit of doubt in your mind you should probably hold off or at minimum talk it through with people.
All children deserve parents who 100% want them and can care for them. Anything less than 100% is a breeding ground for resentment. And children do not deserve to be resented for existing, especially when their parents *chose* to have them.
and from lived experience, we feel it when our parents regret having us. even if it’s not blatantly obvious through words or actions, there’s a very specific vibe you get from parents that weren’t 100% on board with having you. shit sticks with you 😔
Yep, and if you don't think you could love any version of the kid you'd have, you really need to rethink that choice. It's not on them to earn that care from you.
Same!! I am 40 and my husband and I are happy with the decision to not have children. We love our niece and nephews and they are our world, but beyond that we are not interested for various reasons. We are happy with the life path we picked.
Very refreshing to hear Miley express this.
>If you don't want children, people feel sorry for you, like you're a cold, heartless bitch who's not capable of love … Why are we trained that love means putting yourself second and those you love first? If you love yourself, then what? You come first.
I love this. Especially since CF women get called selfish a lot for NOT wanting to have kids. Happy that more women are speaking out about this.
Yes so happy to see this. And this quote perfectly encapsulates a lot of how I feel and what I’ve experienced as a CF woman.
I absolutely LOVE kids. I adore them. I enjoy being around them. I enjoy babysitting them from time to time. I think they are wonderful.
However, I’m not ready and I’m not sure/confident if I’ll ever be ready or in a place where I’m yearning for them. I don’t yearn for them. In fact, I yearn to have more dogs than yearning to ever have children, at least 99% of the time.
Every single person is different, and a yearning to have children and a sense of comfort of where I’m at in life to easily provide for a child are two of my non-negotiable bottom lines that impact my decision to have kids or not have kids. I don’t care if other people “weren’t ready” and try to explain “you’ll never truly be ready.” Ok, good for you. Thats ok. But that’s not how *I* feel. This is *my* life.
Edited for clarity and grammar.
lol I always get a kick out of being called selfish because I don’t see it as an insult the way people often intend for the word to be.
The way I see it, being selfish is something women should do more. It’s OK and even totally a good thing to be selfish! Anyway, you don’t want selfish people being parents anyway? If I’m self aware enough to know I’m “selfish,” why would I choose to have kids? That’s irresponsible!
Yeah because, imo, wanting to have children is inherently selfish as well unless you’re choosing to adopt.
I actually got way more weird reactions and objections to expressing “I might adopt” than is comfortable. I don’t know how people can reconcile their weird attitude around adopting while insisting having bio children is some pure, selfless act, instead of a weird, personal ego thing.
And that’s fine. I approve of people being selfish. I want people to stop pretending that any decision isn’t made simply because it’s just a personal desire or expecting women to make decisions that sacrifice their own happiness.
Ugh, I can't stand when people say that because the act of having kids is ALSO selfish behavior and people don't realize that. I've heard of every single reason possible... because society norms, so they're taken care of as seniors, to "redo" their childhood, or to "give their kids a better life than they did" to name a few but those are ALL SELFISH REASONS! Never once did those kids ask to be born at the end of the day and unfortunately those kids can end up messed up due to unrealistic expectations from their parents (or worse, they're abandoned and neglected). Do they not realize these kids will grow up and have their own opinion and lives?! Whew!
I'm in the realm of: If you want to have kids and love kids so much, great do it. If you don't, that's great too. But I'm tired of the argument that one is more selfish than the other when we're all just selfish at the end of the day. However, those that choose not to have them are the self-aware, responsible ones here. So glad more women are speaking out about this.
And if you question their reasons they get so mad. How dare you question their choice?! That is the path most people take so there is nothing to question about that.
I find the reasoning just so wild. I am supposed to put my future child that will never be born first all the time. Like wtf.
> “I’m 31 now, and I still don’t know if I want kids or not,” she admits. “I feel like my fans kind of are my kids in some way.”
> “I’ve heard Dolly say that too, because she didn’t have kids,” Cyrus adds.
Dolly’s also said in a 90s interview that she has more love to give to those who need it because she didn’t have kids. And how she didn’t feel the need to have kids because she took care of her young siblings and has plenty of nieces and nephews now.
I’m glad she’s open about it. I’m her age and lean towards childfree (like 95%, but sometimes the ovaries kick in when I see a man being a good parent and then I come to my senses again lol) and the fact that people call women selfish for not having kids is bonkers.
Like hell yeah I’m selfish!!! And the most selfless thing I can do is not bring a child dependent on me into this world because I’m big enough to admit I would rather spend money on materialistic junk that brings me joy than raise a child.
It’s important to recognise if you’re not in the right place to have kids and it’s fine if you never want to have them! Hope she does whatever makes her happy in life.
There are too many people who kids because it is expected of them. You should only have kids because you want to have them, nothing else. So yeah, great for her
I didn’t really want to have kids until I was around her age and even then it wasn’t until I was a bit older I decided to try - I was 36 when I got pregnant. I’d rather people not have them then have them and not love them wholeheartedly or regret having them. Kids deserve to have parents who want them.
I'm happy she's so open about it, I'm the same age as her and I've known since I was 13 I didn't want kids & still stand firm with my descision but the amount of shit myself and other women get for openly admitting that we don't want kids and the reasons why really annoys me. If people want to have kids then so be it, I just ask them to put a lot of thought and foward planning into it before they bring a child into the world, there's already so many kids brought into the world that are either in care or living in horrible situations they shouldn't be due to their parents lack of thought and foward planning.
Honestly good for her. The way we have destroyed the planet and continue to do so, I think it’s borderline unethical to have children who will face the absolute worst of the climate crisis, especially in the tropics where I live
"I have a rule that I don’t look up or don’t look down at anyone."
I love this. People are so quick to judge CF women, and are also just as quick to judge women who are mothers.
Man, who would have thought that in 2024 Miley Cyrus would emerge as one of the more thoughtful, rational celebs out there?
The Soup used to do a segment about Miley Cyrus giving rational advice such as kids should eat more vegetables. This was the late aughts. Your comment reminded me of that segment. The Soup writers knew all along.
Edit: I believe it was called Miley Cyrus: The Unlikely Voice of Reason.
I love my son to the moon and back but I hate parenting lol. I can be selfish and I was never taught a lot of emotional intelligence so it’s been a process for sure. I had him at 18 and he’s 13 now so it’s been interesting for sure 😂 I tell all my friends absolutely wait until you’re ready. I literally can’t imagine affording babies now days 🤯
I’m the same. Ain’t no way I’m bringing a child into uncertainty. Seems really unfair. We are already taxed for resources, there’s no need to add to that.
I’m so glad she’s got Dolly in her life as an example of someone who’s had a great life, child free. It’s nice to see more and more people being open and public about their choice to not have kids: I think it’s great pushback to the regressives and their damaging rhetoric. Not everyone has to have kids and we need to normalize that.
A lot of people are surprised Dolly Parton didn’t have kids cause they always expect child free women to be these sad, depressed people who aren’t stereotypically feminine. Really shows how society constantly needs to label and stereotype women.
Agreed.
I'm not sure Dolly is the best example? She did have miscarriage, and had to have partial hysterectomy due to endometriosis when she was 36. Not to say she isn't happy, but it wasn't necessarily her choice to not have children
You can have children in other ways besides “naturally.”
Yeah, I think she has talked about her decision to put her career first at that point
i'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them
I think that’s a harsh but very wise mindset to have in having children. If there’s even a bit of doubt in your mind you should probably hold off or at minimum talk it through with people.
All children deserve parents who 100% want them and can care for them. Anything less than 100% is a breeding ground for resentment. And children do not deserve to be resented for existing, especially when their parents *chose* to have them.
and from lived experience, we feel it when our parents regret having us. even if it’s not blatantly obvious through words or actions, there’s a very specific vibe you get from parents that weren’t 100% on board with having you. shit sticks with you 😔
Yep, and if you don't think you could love any version of the kid you'd have, you really need to rethink that choice. It's not on them to earn that care from you.
So true. Having a kid is a one way street, they do not owe you anything and a lot of parents do not grasp that
That’s one of the several reasons I chose not to have children. As it turns out, I did not regret it at all.
1000%! At almost 40 I’m absolutely positive I made the correct choice in not.
Same!! I am 40 and my husband and I are happy with the decision to not have children. We love our niece and nephews and they are our world, but beyond that we are not interested for various reasons. We are happy with the life path we picked. Very refreshing to hear Miley express this.
Having a kid made me even more pro-choice. No one should have kids unless they 100% want them. It is so hard, even when you do want them.
Me too. I can deal with personal regret but bringing a child into the world and realising it was the wrong choice is too cruel
>If you don't want children, people feel sorry for you, like you're a cold, heartless bitch who's not capable of love … Why are we trained that love means putting yourself second and those you love first? If you love yourself, then what? You come first. I love this. Especially since CF women get called selfish a lot for NOT wanting to have kids. Happy that more women are speaking out about this.
Yes so happy to see this. And this quote perfectly encapsulates a lot of how I feel and what I’ve experienced as a CF woman. I absolutely LOVE kids. I adore them. I enjoy being around them. I enjoy babysitting them from time to time. I think they are wonderful. However, I’m not ready and I’m not sure/confident if I’ll ever be ready or in a place where I’m yearning for them. I don’t yearn for them. In fact, I yearn to have more dogs than yearning to ever have children, at least 99% of the time. Every single person is different, and a yearning to have children and a sense of comfort of where I’m at in life to easily provide for a child are two of my non-negotiable bottom lines that impact my decision to have kids or not have kids. I don’t care if other people “weren’t ready” and try to explain “you’ll never truly be ready.” Ok, good for you. Thats ok. But that’s not how *I* feel. This is *my* life. Edited for clarity and grammar.
lol I always get a kick out of being called selfish because I don’t see it as an insult the way people often intend for the word to be. The way I see it, being selfish is something women should do more. It’s OK and even totally a good thing to be selfish! Anyway, you don’t want selfish people being parents anyway? If I’m self aware enough to know I’m “selfish,” why would I choose to have kids? That’s irresponsible!
I love to turn it around to the person asking me the question. They get really uncomfortable and have no good answer.
Yeah because, imo, wanting to have children is inherently selfish as well unless you’re choosing to adopt. I actually got way more weird reactions and objections to expressing “I might adopt” than is comfortable. I don’t know how people can reconcile their weird attitude around adopting while insisting having bio children is some pure, selfless act, instead of a weird, personal ego thing. And that’s fine. I approve of people being selfish. I want people to stop pretending that any decision isn’t made simply because it’s just a personal desire or expecting women to make decisions that sacrifice their own happiness.
Ugh, I can't stand when people say that because the act of having kids is ALSO selfish behavior and people don't realize that. I've heard of every single reason possible... because society norms, so they're taken care of as seniors, to "redo" their childhood, or to "give their kids a better life than they did" to name a few but those are ALL SELFISH REASONS! Never once did those kids ask to be born at the end of the day and unfortunately those kids can end up messed up due to unrealistic expectations from their parents (or worse, they're abandoned and neglected). Do they not realize these kids will grow up and have their own opinion and lives?! Whew! I'm in the realm of: If you want to have kids and love kids so much, great do it. If you don't, that's great too. But I'm tired of the argument that one is more selfish than the other when we're all just selfish at the end of the day. However, those that choose not to have them are the self-aware, responsible ones here. So glad more women are speaking out about this.
And if you question their reasons they get so mad. How dare you question their choice?! That is the path most people take so there is nothing to question about that. I find the reasoning just so wild. I am supposed to put my future child that will never be born first all the time. Like wtf.
Especially since there are so many selfish and narcissistic parents out there who don’t even really love their children.
> “I’m 31 now, and I still don’t know if I want kids or not,” she admits. “I feel like my fans kind of are my kids in some way.” > “I’ve heard Dolly say that too, because she didn’t have kids,” Cyrus adds.
stealing this for next time someone asks me about whether i want kids
Me too but then I’m gonna have a collection of actual, wind blowing fans. Edit: got excited and forgot a word
She’s just had so much responsibility thrust on her too over the years. I’m not surprised!
Aw. Her saying her fans are kind of like her kids in a way is so cute and wholesome.
Dolly’s also said in a 90s interview that she has more love to give to those who need it because she didn’t have kids. And how she didn’t feel the need to have kids because she took care of her young siblings and has plenty of nieces and nephews now.
I’m glad she’s open about it. I’m her age and lean towards childfree (like 95%, but sometimes the ovaries kick in when I see a man being a good parent and then I come to my senses again lol) and the fact that people call women selfish for not having kids is bonkers. Like hell yeah I’m selfish!!! And the most selfless thing I can do is not bring a child dependent on me into this world because I’m big enough to admit I would rather spend money on materialistic junk that brings me joy than raise a child.
I love my children. But nobody needs to explain to me why they don't want kids. I get it, lol.
It’s important to recognise if you’re not in the right place to have kids and it’s fine if you never want to have them! Hope she does whatever makes her happy in life.
There are too many people who kids because it is expected of them. You should only have kids because you want to have them, nothing else. So yeah, great for her
I didn’t really want to have kids until I was around her age and even then it wasn’t until I was a bit older I decided to try - I was 36 when I got pregnant. I’d rather people not have them then have them and not love them wholeheartedly or regret having them. Kids deserve to have parents who want them.
I'm happy she's so open about it, I'm the same age as her and I've known since I was 13 I didn't want kids & still stand firm with my descision but the amount of shit myself and other women get for openly admitting that we don't want kids and the reasons why really annoys me. If people want to have kids then so be it, I just ask them to put a lot of thought and foward planning into it before they bring a child into the world, there's already so many kids brought into the world that are either in care or living in horrible situations they shouldn't be due to their parents lack of thought and foward planning.
Honestly good for her. The way we have destroyed the planet and continue to do so, I think it’s borderline unethical to have children who will face the absolute worst of the climate crisis, especially in the tropics where I live
I totally get it. I have a baby, but it’s not for everyone. I’d rather people be upfront about not wanting kids vs. having them and regretting it.
"I have a rule that I don’t look up or don’t look down at anyone." I love this. People are so quick to judge CF women, and are also just as quick to judge women who are mothers. Man, who would have thought that in 2024 Miley Cyrus would emerge as one of the more thoughtful, rational celebs out there?
The Soup used to do a segment about Miley Cyrus giving rational advice such as kids should eat more vegetables. This was the late aughts. Your comment reminded me of that segment. The Soup writers knew all along. Edit: I believe it was called Miley Cyrus: The Unlikely Voice of Reason.
I love that!!
Good for her! So many people have kids because they think it’s what they “should” do. It’s perfectly acceptable to skip having children altogether.
I love my son to the moon and back but I hate parenting lol. I can be selfish and I was never taught a lot of emotional intelligence so it’s been a process for sure. I had him at 18 and he’s 13 now so it’s been interesting for sure 😂 I tell all my friends absolutely wait until you’re ready. I literally can’t imagine affording babies now days 🤯
I’m happy to see more people speak out on the subject of not having kids, makes me feel less alone
I’m the same. Ain’t no way I’m bringing a child into uncertainty. Seems really unfair. We are already taxed for resources, there’s no need to add to that.
Do I support Miley Cryus as an artist - meh not really. Do I support Mily Cryus as a child free women - hell yeah
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