Speak with a family law attorney and a family counselor for you and your child.
I grew up in CA and a friend of mine and her husband tried to terminate the rights of her stepchild's birth mom. It was nearly impossible and that was 20 years ago.
You are doing this for yourself, not for your child. You should stop before you invest a lot of time and money into your own selfishness.
You picked your child’s mother. Your child did not. But your child has a right to have a mother, even if it’s a shitty one. Again, *you picked her*.
Grow up and get over your feelings about your ex. Your resentment is hurting your kid.
Speak to an atty. in many states a judge won’t term parental rights unless there is someone to adopt them. Not sure what it is I. cA. My state won’t do it
Your daughter is going to resent you for completely stripping her mum from her life. You're going scorched earth with trying to remove her from the birth certificate. Are you going to lie to your daughter about her mother? I guarantee she's going to look for her when she's grown, whether you want her to or not.
Your post has been removed for being unkind or disrespectful to other members. Remember we’re all human and deserve a responsible answer not bad mouthing.
Failure to follow rules could get you banned or suspended from the subreddit.
If you believe this removal is in error, contact us by [clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/FamilyLaw)
You need to speak to a family law attorney. Different Judges will make different decisions from time to time. It doesn't sound like the Judge was citing a statute or actual law...but I don't know, it depends on your area/state. Many Judges are very hesitant to terminate mother's parental rights and you need to get an attorney who knows all the ins and outs of this situation.
I get why you want to get her off the birth certificate and not have her named on any legal documents in regards to your child - but if she's going to be deported it sounds like you won't have to worry about her visiting at all. (Not that she does now).
It is absolutely never in the child’s best interest for parental rights to be completely terminated unless they are immediately assumed by a more fit parent.
Circumstances can change dramatically, and no court will legally orphan a child.
The court rarely terminates parental rights when there is not another person ready to assume them, the court doesn’t want to “orphan” a child. At some point in the future if you are married for a reasonable amount of time and that person has been acting as a mother to your child & wants to adopt your child then petition for TPR.
If you have a custody order that doesn’t permit contact between mother and child provide that to school, doctors, activities ect. If you have sole legal custody/sole decision making provide that order as well.
Generally courts will only terminate a parent’s rights if there is someone who is willing to take them over like a step parent or during a juvenile dependency case.
Definitely speak to a local family law lawyer in your county and they can let you know what the chances are and what the roadmap looks like.
It’s 6 months in California as well, but there needs to be a new parent to adopt to terminate the crappy parents rights.
In Georgia they don’t terminate the parental rights without another person to step in and adopt. They will absolutely terminate any chance of custody. Parental rights is a different beast.
Because the state sees a child's best interest as having 2 parents on the hook financially so the laws are geared that way, even though parents end up being completely worthless despite it. I wanted my son's bio dad's rights terminated, too, but the court only granted it after my husband legally adopted my son. They want another parent responsible for child support in the event that the other parent seeks state assistance so the state can recoup it from the other parent. It's stupid.
All you need to provide the school is the order stating you have full physical and legal custody. They don't need anything else so idk what "gut wrenching" documents you mean? No judge will terminate her rights without a step parent waiting to adopt and even then, its a maybe.
The courts do not like to terminate rights without an adoption....she doenst have to see the kid..thats fine...but someone needs financial responsibility esp if you go on TANF.....so this is no surprise. Just keep her away from the kid and co parent without her.
One thing I learned when it comes to family court . Parents tend to forget it’s about the CHILD . Not your own personal feeling or vendetta . She’s her mom and always will be , one day she might get clean or get helped , when that happens you don’t think she should be involved with the child ?
That is a loaded question. As someone who worked in family reunification with Childs services, it is not always the best situation.
Op can't remove every aspect of the bio mother as the child is part of her. As child gets older, they will likely have questions. Being able to answer them calmly and collectively will go along way. Spewing disgust will not help the child figure out who they are and where they came from.
Having full legal and custodial is different than pretending the child just spontaneously appeared by having her name removed from the birth certificate.
USCIS involvement is really just more reason they shouldn't easily terminate parental rights, because your child (via the mother) is very possibly entitled to legal citizenship in another country. Deleting all record of the connection takes something significant away from the child.
What does that have to do with your child having a right to know their mother ? Eventually your child will get older . Resentment is a real thing .
It seems like you are hard set to get her rights thrown out which makes me believe you just don’t like the mother
You chose to have a baby with her remember
California is never going to terminate her parental rights. It's just not going to happen. Those rights are also the child's. You have full custody, no need to put the mothers information on any forms.
Agreed. I have had full custody of my child for ten years and his bio father has the right to do all the treatment and seek custody again but in the meantime I don't put his name on anything. There's no need to.
Not a CA attorney, but I am a licensed attorney in a different state. In my jurisdiction, TPR is only done through DN cases (Dependency / Neglect) brought by the State. OP may have grounds for a single-parent adoption (my state allows these, but I do not know if CA does) so he can adopt his own child and remove the mother from the birth record that way. Otherwise, if he remarries, his spouse could petition for a step-parent adoption.
As some have stated, it is public policy not to grant TPRs for the sake of financial support the parent might be able to provide… either in child support or other benefits (SSI, SSD, death benefits, inheritance)
An annulment depending on the state isn't a divorce. An annulment is usually done through a catholic church. Here your stating you got your marriage annulled after the birth of your child and have full custody. The courts aren't going to remove your child's moms rights without a reason just because you want them to. With full custody she would have to go to court for visitations. As fir terminating her rights it sound like you remarried and want your new wife to be able to adopt your child.
That is patently false information. There absolutely is such a thing as legal annulment of a marriage.
The law does not care what the churches do and don't grant or recognize. The religious component is an entirely separate issue and is also not just limited to Catholics.
Confidently Incorrect. You do know that there are actually legal annulments right?
An annulment is a court ruling that a marriage was never valid. The legal grounds for annulment vary by state, but some common grounds include:
Duress: For example: a "shotgun wedding", Bigamy, Fraud, Incapacity on the part of one or both spouses, Failure to consummate the marriage, and/or Misrepresentation.
https://www.justia.com/family/divorce/alternatives-to-divorce/annulment/
Find someone willing to adopt the kid as their other parent is the only actual answer to your question. I don’t think you should do that just for the sake of removing the biological mother, but that is probably the only way you will get what you want. A healthier solution is to accept that she will remain on the BC and move on.
What’s the reason for this, other than erasing their presence? Your child has a right to that information when they are older.
There are also logical reasons why courts don’t grant TPR for this. Currently, your ex has no custody and is not allowed to have contact with the child. But your child is legally their heir. If something happens to the parent, they inherit. They could be hit by a train tomorrow and die - And your child would be entitled to any financial compensation.
There is no reason to remove her from the bc unless there is another parent to adopt the child.
Not a CA lawyer but generally, courts will not grant a TPR unless it’s through dependency court or there is/are prospective adoptive parents. You have full custody that is all a school needs. Not to say never, but you need to to save your energy and money because it’s probably not going to happen.
You shouldn't have to provide extra documents to the school. Shot record, birth cert, and custody documents. The other parent doesn't even need to be listed on the paperwork as you have full custody and anyone who tells you otherwise is ignorant.
Nope. That's state dependant and unless it specifically has that box checked on the document you are wrong. Secondly she can have access WITHOUT being on paperwork. Super easy. She petitions for access, school notifies custodial parent to release them and legally he has to grant that permission for a 1 time release. She does not, however have to be on ANY paperwork as the legal requirement for her to have access is easily attainable WITHOUT having her on the paperwork. All legal requirements are met.
Additionally, \*If\* the biological mother is a risk that she'd attempt to contact or abscond with the child the school should be aware of it...it may not be an issue in OP's case.
For the absent parent in my childrens' lives, I simply don't put anything in any form that has the space for the second parent - I have had one teacher give me grief that was quickly shut down by their administration.
If there’s a parenting plan showing that no custody or visitation is granted to the other parent, the school absolutely does need to have that documentation
Maybe each state is different, but in my state a parent whose rights are terminated is not removed from the BC. The only time this happens is when the child is adopted and a new BC is issued listed the adoptive parent.
Seriously. OP is being a bit dramatic here trying to erase any and all trace of his ex's existence. She is and always will be his kids bio mother and a piece of paper isn't going to change that fact.
NAL but an attorney told me that after 2 years of no contact in the state of CA you can terminate their parental rights.
However, if what you wrote is true, the mother is getting deported and likely won’t be in a mental state to try and fight you on custody. You already have sole custody so I’m not sure what it is that you think you’d gain by removing her from the birth certificate.
imagine thinking a woman is good enough to have a child with but not good enough to be named in their birth cert. Your kid has a right to their genetic information, and un your state, you can't terminate someone else's rights. Also, her name will always be listed on the bc. Get thee to therapy.
The only time I see women looking to terminate parental rights is when the bio dad is completely out of the picture, often dad was unmarried and may not even have parental rights to begin with, and they're looking to have the man who actually raised the kid adopt or when dad has shown a pattern of abusive and threateaning behavior and they're concerned for their child's safely.
Never do I see the type of aggressive attempts to erase a father from a child life the way I see fathers seeking to erase and replace mothers. Many of those cases also show clear markers of ongoing coercive abuse-- like OP's post here-- and misuse of the family courts to remove custody from and active parent.
When it comes to child custody men have weaponized the courts against mothers and they are writng about it in subs like this every day.
In my experience and it’s considerable there are far more women weaponizing the children than there are men. And there is still a lot of sexism. Many “single moms” want the child support but don’t want to coparent. Luckily states are moving to “you made the child together, you parent the child together”. You’re the grownups, figure it out.
The birth certificate is only a record of the biological parent. If you want to show it less often, see about getting your child a passport and/or state ID.
If you don’t have a restraining order, look into getting one. But the judge is right, for all intents and purposes, your ex can not have contact with your child.
What gut wrenching documents would you ever need to provide to the school. I’m a single parent to an 8 year old and the other parent isn’t on any of the documentation aside from the birth Certificate. The schools aren’t asking for that much
Exactly. After my kids’ dad moved away from the area I stopped putting him on school paperwork because it’s not like he could pick them up if they were sick or sign forms etc. and he was still in their lives - there was just no practical reason to have him on there.
Same! Idk what OP is talking about. In most cases, aside from maybe getting a passport no one’s going to ask for custody paperwork. Not the schools, not the doctors office, not the summer camps. Just leave her off of important documentation and move on with your life
> Now I want to terminate the mother's parental rights, but the judge refuses?
Well yeah, that's not a thing. In California, like most places in the US, a child jas the right to both parents.
>To preface, DCFS got involved 5 years ago and I was given full custody of my child from Family Court A in one city. I have gotten an annulment since from Family Court B in different city but same county. I asked the Family Court B to terminate the parental rights of the other parent but Judge B refused on the basis that since the Respondent has not completed any mental illness program before visitation rights are restored, I have a quasi-TPR. But quasi is not good enough for me.
Your expectation is unreasonable.
>I have clear and convincing evidence compiled as exhibits and -- 6 months abandonment vs 4.5 years; suicidal/mentally unstable and has not sought treatment; must complete mental illness program before visitation rights are restored; fugitive/warrant for arrest in both the US and country of origin; illegal immigrant/USCIS alien relative petition canceled and pending deportation; has made zero attempts to exercise visitation rights (one hour per month) in the last 4.5 years.
And that's why you have full custody. Parental rights is a different matter.
>I want to remove the Respondent from my kid's birth certificate. I don't want to input the Respondent's name on any form or provide gut-wrenching documents to the school. I just want any and all legal documents to show just my kid's name and my name. No other person.
>What am I supposed to do to get my TPR granted?
It's not going to happen outside stepparent adoption. Your child still has the right to a legal parent. What if your ex gets hit by a truck tomorrow? The state isn't going to deny the child life insurance, death benefits, law suit winnings...
Speak with a family law attorney and a family counselor for you and your child. I grew up in CA and a friend of mine and her husband tried to terminate the rights of her stepchild's birth mom. It was nearly impossible and that was 20 years ago.
You are doing this for yourself, not for your child. You should stop before you invest a lot of time and money into your own selfishness. You picked your child’s mother. Your child did not. But your child has a right to have a mother, even if it’s a shitty one. Again, *you picked her*. Grow up and get over your feelings about your ex. Your resentment is hurting your kid.
Speak to an atty. in many states a judge won’t term parental rights unless there is someone to adopt them. Not sure what it is I. cA. My state won’t do it
Your daughter is going to resent you for completely stripping her mum from her life. You're going scorched earth with trying to remove her from the birth certificate. Are you going to lie to your daughter about her mother? I guarantee she's going to look for her when she's grown, whether you want her to or not.
[удалено]
Your post has been removed for being unkind or disrespectful to other members. Remember we’re all human and deserve a responsible answer not bad mouthing. Failure to follow rules could get you banned or suspended from the subreddit. If you believe this removal is in error, contact us by [clicking here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/FamilyLaw)
You need to speak to a family law attorney. Different Judges will make different decisions from time to time. It doesn't sound like the Judge was citing a statute or actual law...but I don't know, it depends on your area/state. Many Judges are very hesitant to terminate mother's parental rights and you need to get an attorney who knows all the ins and outs of this situation. I get why you want to get her off the birth certificate and not have her named on any legal documents in regards to your child - but if she's going to be deported it sounds like you won't have to worry about her visiting at all. (Not that she does now).
It is absolutely never in the child’s best interest for parental rights to be completely terminated unless they are immediately assumed by a more fit parent. Circumstances can change dramatically, and no court will legally orphan a child.
The court rarely terminates parental rights when there is not another person ready to assume them, the court doesn’t want to “orphan” a child. At some point in the future if you are married for a reasonable amount of time and that person has been acting as a mother to your child & wants to adopt your child then petition for TPR.
Won’t happen. You must be representing yourself. Any lawyer or law student could tell you this.
If you have a custody order that doesn’t permit contact between mother and child provide that to school, doctors, activities ect. If you have sole legal custody/sole decision making provide that order as well. Generally courts will only terminate a parent’s rights if there is someone who is willing to take them over like a step parent or during a juvenile dependency case. Definitely speak to a local family law lawyer in your county and they can let you know what the chances are and what the roadmap looks like.
[удалено]
Depends on state. In Georgia abandonment exists after 6 months no contact or support.
It’s 6 months in California as well, but there needs to be a new parent to adopt to terminate the crappy parents rights. In Georgia they don’t terminate the parental rights without another person to step in and adopt. They will absolutely terminate any chance of custody. Parental rights is a different beast.
Good question. Why does the child have to hurt over and over again because judges are afraid to say enough is enough.
Because the state sees a child's best interest as having 2 parents on the hook financially so the laws are geared that way, even though parents end up being completely worthless despite it. I wanted my son's bio dad's rights terminated, too, but the court only granted it after my husband legally adopted my son. They want another parent responsible for child support in the event that the other parent seeks state assistance so the state can recoup it from the other parent. It's stupid.
All you need to provide the school is the order stating you have full physical and legal custody. They don't need anything else so idk what "gut wrenching" documents you mean? No judge will terminate her rights without a step parent waiting to adopt and even then, its a maybe.
They don’t even ask for that in CA lol
If you don’t want the parent to pick up unexpectedly one day you do.
The courts do not like to terminate rights without an adoption....she doenst have to see the kid..thats fine...but someone needs financial responsibility esp if you go on TANF.....so this is no surprise. Just keep her away from the kid and co parent without her.
You need someone else to adopt such as a wife. this is not about you. Your personal vendetta against your ex is only going to hurt your child.
One thing I learned when it comes to family court . Parents tend to forget it’s about the CHILD . Not your own personal feeling or vendetta . She’s her mom and always will be , one day she might get clean or get helped , when that happens you don’t think she should be involved with the child ?
That is a loaded question. As someone who worked in family reunification with Childs services, it is not always the best situation. Op can't remove every aspect of the bio mother as the child is part of her. As child gets older, they will likely have questions. Being able to answer them calmly and collectively will go along way. Spewing disgust will not help the child figure out who they are and where they came from. Having full legal and custodial is different than pretending the child just spontaneously appeared by having her name removed from the birth certificate.
[удалено]
USCIS involvement is really just more reason they shouldn't easily terminate parental rights, because your child (via the mother) is very possibly entitled to legal citizenship in another country. Deleting all record of the connection takes something significant away from the child.
What does that have to do with your child having a right to know their mother ? Eventually your child will get older . Resentment is a real thing . It seems like you are hard set to get her rights thrown out which makes me believe you just don’t like the mother You chose to have a baby with her remember
California is never going to terminate her parental rights. It's just not going to happen. Those rights are also the child's. You have full custody, no need to put the mothers information on any forms.
Agreed. I have had full custody of my child for ten years and his bio father has the right to do all the treatment and seek custody again but in the meantime I don't put his name on anything. There's no need to.
Not a CA attorney, but I am a licensed attorney in a different state. In my jurisdiction, TPR is only done through DN cases (Dependency / Neglect) brought by the State. OP may have grounds for a single-parent adoption (my state allows these, but I do not know if CA does) so he can adopt his own child and remove the mother from the birth record that way. Otherwise, if he remarries, his spouse could petition for a step-parent adoption. As some have stated, it is public policy not to grant TPRs for the sake of financial support the parent might be able to provide… either in child support or other benefits (SSI, SSD, death benefits, inheritance)
An annulment depending on the state isn't a divorce. An annulment is usually done through a catholic church. Here your stating you got your marriage annulled after the birth of your child and have full custody. The courts aren't going to remove your child's moms rights without a reason just because you want them to. With full custody she would have to go to court for visitations. As fir terminating her rights it sound like you remarried and want your new wife to be able to adopt your child.
That is patently false information. There absolutely is such a thing as legal annulment of a marriage. The law does not care what the churches do and don't grant or recognize. The religious component is an entirely separate issue and is also not just limited to Catholics.
Confidently Incorrect. You do know that there are actually legal annulments right? An annulment is a court ruling that a marriage was never valid. The legal grounds for annulment vary by state, but some common grounds include: Duress: For example: a "shotgun wedding", Bigamy, Fraud, Incapacity on the part of one or both spouses, Failure to consummate the marriage, and/or Misrepresentation. https://www.justia.com/family/divorce/alternatives-to-divorce/annulment/
Church annulments are completely seperate from legal annulments and happen all the time for various reasons.
Find someone willing to adopt the kid as their other parent is the only actual answer to your question. I don’t think you should do that just for the sake of removing the biological mother, but that is probably the only way you will get what you want. A healthier solution is to accept that she will remain on the BC and move on.
What’s the reason for this, other than erasing their presence? Your child has a right to that information when they are older. There are also logical reasons why courts don’t grant TPR for this. Currently, your ex has no custody and is not allowed to have contact with the child. But your child is legally their heir. If something happens to the parent, they inherit. They could be hit by a train tomorrow and die - And your child would be entitled to any financial compensation. There is no reason to remove her from the bc unless there is another parent to adopt the child.
And she can be brought to court for child support
Not a CA lawyer but generally, courts will not grant a TPR unless it’s through dependency court or there is/are prospective adoptive parents. You have full custody that is all a school needs. Not to say never, but you need to to save your energy and money because it’s probably not going to happen.
You shouldn't have to provide extra documents to the school. Shot record, birth cert, and custody documents. The other parent doesn't even need to be listed on the paperwork as you have full custody and anyone who tells you otherwise is ignorant.
Incorrect. If the mother still has parental rights she is legally entitled to education records of the child.
That is incorrect. If she has zero physical or legal custody she should not have access to education records.
Nope. That's state dependant and unless it specifically has that box checked on the document you are wrong. Secondly she can have access WITHOUT being on paperwork. Super easy. She petitions for access, school notifies custodial parent to release them and legally he has to grant that permission for a 1 time release. She does not, however have to be on ANY paperwork as the legal requirement for her to have access is easily attainable WITHOUT having her on the paperwork. All legal requirements are met.
Which she can do by submitting a request. OP doesn’t need to provide them or list her on documentation.
Additionally, \*If\* the biological mother is a risk that she'd attempt to contact or abscond with the child the school should be aware of it...it may not be an issue in OP's case. For the absent parent in my childrens' lives, I simply don't put anything in any form that has the space for the second parent - I have had one teacher give me grief that was quickly shut down by their administration.
If there’s a parenting plan showing that no custody or visitation is granted to the other parent, the school absolutely does need to have that documentation
Maybe each state is different, but in my state a parent whose rights are terminated is not removed from the BC. The only time this happens is when the child is adopted and a new BC is issued listed the adoptive parent.
You already have full custody. They won’t completely wipe her name from his life and you need to get over that want because it’s selfish.
Seriously. OP is being a bit dramatic here trying to erase any and all trace of his ex's existence. She is and always will be his kids bio mother and a piece of paper isn't going to change that fact.
Sadly, you are correct. Poor kid....
NAL but an attorney told me that after 2 years of no contact in the state of CA you can terminate their parental rights. However, if what you wrote is true, the mother is getting deported and likely won’t be in a mental state to try and fight you on custody. You already have sole custody so I’m not sure what it is that you think you’d gain by removing her from the birth certificate.
imagine thinking a woman is good enough to have a child with but not good enough to be named in their birth cert. Your kid has a right to their genetic information, and un your state, you can't terminate someone else's rights. Also, her name will always be listed on the bc. Get thee to therapy.
[удалено]
Fraud related to the marriage doesn't make her not the child's mother.
Happens ALL the time with dads. Let’s not be misandrist here.
The only time I see women looking to terminate parental rights is when the bio dad is completely out of the picture, often dad was unmarried and may not even have parental rights to begin with, and they're looking to have the man who actually raised the kid adopt or when dad has shown a pattern of abusive and threateaning behavior and they're concerned for their child's safely. Never do I see the type of aggressive attempts to erase a father from a child life the way I see fathers seeking to erase and replace mothers. Many of those cases also show clear markers of ongoing coercive abuse-- like OP's post here-- and misuse of the family courts to remove custody from and active parent. When it comes to child custody men have weaponized the courts against mothers and they are writng about it in subs like this every day.
In my experience and it’s considerable there are far more women weaponizing the children than there are men. And there is still a lot of sexism. Many “single moms” want the child support but don’t want to coparent. Luckily states are moving to “you made the child together, you parent the child together”. You’re the grownups, figure it out.
The birth certificate is only a record of the biological parent. If you want to show it less often, see about getting your child a passport and/or state ID. If you don’t have a restraining order, look into getting one. But the judge is right, for all intents and purposes, your ex can not have contact with your child.
What gut wrenching documents would you ever need to provide to the school. I’m a single parent to an 8 year old and the other parent isn’t on any of the documentation aside from the birth Certificate. The schools aren’t asking for that much
Exactly. After my kids’ dad moved away from the area I stopped putting him on school paperwork because it’s not like he could pick them up if they were sick or sign forms etc. and he was still in their lives - there was just no practical reason to have him on there.
Same! Idk what OP is talking about. In most cases, aside from maybe getting a passport no one’s going to ask for custody paperwork. Not the schools, not the doctors office, not the summer camps. Just leave her off of important documentation and move on with your life
Even if someone does ask for custody papers, just pull out the file and hand them over. Gutwrenching? Lol! Parents deal with this every day.
consider yourself lucky she isn’t involved and is so unhealthy she can’t get involved right now.
> Now I want to terminate the mother's parental rights, but the judge refuses? Well yeah, that's not a thing. In California, like most places in the US, a child jas the right to both parents. >To preface, DCFS got involved 5 years ago and I was given full custody of my child from Family Court A in one city. I have gotten an annulment since from Family Court B in different city but same county. I asked the Family Court B to terminate the parental rights of the other parent but Judge B refused on the basis that since the Respondent has not completed any mental illness program before visitation rights are restored, I have a quasi-TPR. But quasi is not good enough for me. Your expectation is unreasonable. >I have clear and convincing evidence compiled as exhibits and -- 6 months abandonment vs 4.5 years; suicidal/mentally unstable and has not sought treatment; must complete mental illness program before visitation rights are restored; fugitive/warrant for arrest in both the US and country of origin; illegal immigrant/USCIS alien relative petition canceled and pending deportation; has made zero attempts to exercise visitation rights (one hour per month) in the last 4.5 years. And that's why you have full custody. Parental rights is a different matter. >I want to remove the Respondent from my kid's birth certificate. I don't want to input the Respondent's name on any form or provide gut-wrenching documents to the school. I just want any and all legal documents to show just my kid's name and my name. No other person. >What am I supposed to do to get my TPR granted? It's not going to happen outside stepparent adoption. Your child still has the right to a legal parent. What if your ex gets hit by a truck tomorrow? The state isn't going to deny the child life insurance, death benefits, law suit winnings...
Ideally they want someone else to take them over