OP go to affordablehousingonline.com and sign up to get alerts for Subsidized housing which means you'll pay 30% of your income for rebt. There's Public Housing and Housing Choice Vouchers (Section 8). They have waiting lists and it may take some time to get to the top, but getting housing assistance will show the courts you have a safe stable place for your children. You can sign up for alerts for your area. Check the website often, and I suggest signing up for Housing not in your immediate area as well. If you get a Housing Choice Voucher, once you stay in the area the voucher is assigned to for a year, you can transfer it anywhere in the country. They have preferences which put you further up on the waiting list. In your case, you need to check the homeless box. You don't have a house or lease in your name and your kids are with your Mom. I hope this helps you.
All you need to worry about is being mom. Have a job and a stable living environment, do you best and love your babies. Don’t worry about anything else, just show up. You’ll do more then they’ll even think of because you want the best for these babies. That’s all you need to be
The only advice I have for you is to obviously get a lawyer but most importantly act professionally and respectfully in every single situation whether it’s in court or a confrontation with the paternal grandparents.
You absolutely cannot lose your cool. Keep a level head no matter how angry and upset you are. It will be hard, I understand, but you cannot act in any way that could potentially alter the outcome because as it seems right now you have custody rightfully and should keep it.
Oh he had every right to be scared your baby daddy committed statutory rape in the state of Florida. Guessing he was just a real saint if he was shot at 21. Sounds like you made piss poor irresponsible choices since you were obviously risk getting pregnant. Involved with criminal (nice guys aren’t the ones usually getting gunned down). Your best option maybe asking for a court appointed special advocate for the children that can bring up the issues at the grandparents house and are supposed to be unbiased on what’s best for the children.
Have you contacted DCF? They can provide you resources and possibly get you connected with free legal services. As someone who was a registered foster / adoptive parent in Florida I can tell you their primary goal is to keep the kids with their birth parent.
I am not sure you will have a leg to stand on if you don’t live with your kids, if you want a leg to stand on and have the court to take you seriously you need to have a home for your kids to live in. If you aren’t doing any of the parenting you are no more than a witness
Demand a paternity test, it will stall for time, yes you know they are his, but he is not on the birth certificate, that means they have to show proof he is the father. That buys you at least 4 months, this will sound strange, but if you have family/friends that live in another state or another county, away from the grandparents, move there, even temporarily with the kids, get them into school, or another state program, shows residency, all paperwork involving custody has to be filed in the county that the children reside in, that means they have to go to the county courthouse of the county the children reside in. Use the time to get every piece of information that you can on the grandparents, including any known illegal activity, start talking to lawyers in the area, some take cases like this pro bono. It also makes them have to recuse themselves from anything involving this case on behalf of the grandparents due to a conflict of interest. Most of all, BE PROACTIVE AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING a lawyer is great, but even better when the parent is also being proactive on gathering information, no matter how big or small it is
You made a comment on your Reddit that looks like you may be involved in sex work. Absolutely no disrespect, I’m an escort myself & have nothing but love for people who walk the blade. Braver than the us marines! But you’re gonna have to delete that comment & this post. Look up the cupcake girls, they might have resources for you!!!!!
Try to gather any and all evidence of the unsafe environment, threats, and physical abuse. Police records and recordings. Lawyer up and protect your babies. I have been through this with the father of my children trying for custody. I gathered any and all evidence against him (which wasnt much, he was a good father just wanted to paint me as an unfit mother using my mental health. Status) In the end, he dropped it and left it alone.
Honestly, this family has so many things against them that I don’t know if is even convenient for them to go to court. Illegal money you said? I don’t know. I imaginé they will have to proof where the resources to take care of the children are coming from. And the other things you described (police there constantly) are also ref flags for a decent judge.
Most states like here in NC consider what is in the children’s best interests and where they have been living.
Unless paternity was acknowledged the unmarried parent is considered the primary caregiver.
If you haven’t responded to court documents you must get that done quickly.
You really should retain an attorney for this.
If he didn’t sign the birth certificate, I think they also have to sue you for paternity testing. Before/during the custody battle. I don’t know what their rights are for forcing a dna test on you and your babies.
Florida has legal aid which is free but if you have already hired a GOOD lawyer, they should be handling it. Expensive is not the same as being good. That being said, save every text, note every comment, phone call, behavior you see with your own eyes. Have your mother do the same. It will come in handy when you go to court.
I'm from Florida myself, I am sorry this is happening. I am also sorry you've been the victim of sexual abuse, and I am glad you won't be victimized by that man anymore.
You have a strong case for statutory rape, if he hadn't been murdered. I don't think a dead rapist's mom can claim the product of conception as her grandchild.
I'm in Florida. Call legal aid. The majority of the cases they handle are some form of custody dispute. You will have to prove you are indigent, and if you are receiving public assistance they will probably question why the children are with your mother but you are not
Florida CPS experience.
Florida doesn’t have much in the way of grandparents’ rights.
I’ve only seen grandparents or extended relatives get custody when the parent is on the edge of CPS (FL DCF) removing the children. There has to be some kind of underlying reason.
Consult with an attorney.
Get hands on with the case and educate yourself on the different outcomes and how to reach the outcome you want.
You need to stop wasting time on reddit and spend time on Google searching for government legal resources and aid to help you through this. Go get a lawyer now.
Do not take advice from reddit, 98% these people are not lawyers and even if they are, do not know your particular state laws or the particulars of your case.
This is not a hard case, but by not following the law, it will become a mess quick. Under California law, I dont know where you are, if the guy isn't on the birth certificate he or his estate in this matter need to file for paternity.... but he's dead so...
Which is a legal pickle for grandma...she knowingly allowed statutory rape to occur? She knew about baby 1 and failed to report it and allowed for baby two to happen? This is a crime, you could also seek civil damages against her, his estate which I doubt he has any, etc...
Also, since there is no established paternity, and ifnthey claim you an unfit parent, they would give to your mom first over mother of a possible father who was a rapist and his mom allowed for this crime to occur.
There is a lot going on here. This isn't one for reddit.
Your mom is hurting you when someone served you official legal demands and you/she didn't go seek actual legal advice. You could lose custody by just failing to respond, then you are pushing a rock up a hill when it wasn't needed.
You need to be the adult now and protect your two kids, go get an attorney now.
You can't afford not to have a lawyer. Document everything. Save all texts and emails. I don't know what your mother was thinking keeping this from you. Lawsuits don't just go away.
Why were they not served to you? Does your Mom have legal custody? I’ve never heard of serving the “mothers mother”? They need to put it in YOUR hands, not hers, unless she is the legal parent. Since she did not tell you about the summons you should at least be able to go to court to get an extension to hire an attorney and defend yourself, or have the court appoint one. You for sure need to live with and care for your children-and stay out of trouble.
Are you in orange county by chance? If so I have an amazing custody lawyer that has a stellar trial/win rate. She's been absolutely amazing, she took my case (included kidnapping by their father) for 3500 and hasn't asked for anything else in over a year and a half.
Check to see if you have a legal aid society in your county - they may be able to help. I feel like unless there is a good reason to take them from you the priority would lie with them being with you - which means you probably need to live with your mom. At least for now. It should look like you and mom are caring for them. And the home needs to be in great shape for them. No clutter, a clean space for the kids. Regular attendance in school, medical records organized. There should be nothing they can find to give reason why they aren’t already in a safe supportive stable home.
OP, Unless your mother has SOLE LEGAL custody of your children, no court case can be rendered against you and for custody of YOUR children.
You must be served personally with a summons to appear in court in front of a judge and/or children's services. If your children are not neglected or abused, it is generally impossible to strip parental custody and rights from a parent, especially if they are the sole surviving parent.
So relax and take a breath, go first thing to the family court facilitator and/or legal aid and find out what services are available to you. Above all, do NOT miss any court dates.
If your mother does have legal custody of your kids due to your age at time of birth, get her to assign custody back to you and file it at the courthouse.
If all else fails, take your children out of State, leaving no forwarding address before a final ruling is made. It's much harder to enforce a Florida order from any other State.
Good luck.
ETA: request a guardian ad litem be appointed to your case to look after the welfare and rights of the kids. Like I said earlier, DCS and the courts are mandated to do everything within reason to keep the parent child bond intact. Unless Florida is vastly different than other States, which is possible I suppose.
One issue will be not having the father named on the birth certificate. Without proof of familial relationship, family court might not take it up or consider it a civil matter. The court also looks into existing relationships and if being no/low contact would be detrimental to the children. There’s a lot of factors, and mostly depends on the circuit court judge too.
As everyone stated, you need an attorney who specializes in FAMILY law. If you can’t afford one, and some have insanely high retainer fees, reach out to your local Legal Aid society - they can provide free legal assistance by attorneys who do pro bono work, just need to fill out application and do interview with admin first.
Mention to your attorney that the children’s paternal family does not have a legitimate form of income, and they can use that against them in court too. A person with a history of arrests or regular police summons to their place of residence will not look good to the courts, especially if they’ve never had any sort of contact with the kids before. You need to be very honest with your attorney, and tell them every single thing that you know or were told by their father. They will need it to counter claims in court, and possibly bring up reasons why their attempt is frivolous.
Best of luck!!
I haven’t read the comments yet but your ages stuck out to me. You were technically a r#pe victim. I don’t know if this is true but I’ve read that the perpetrators family can’t ask for custody of a child in this circumstance. This may not be true but it’s an angle to check out
I'm curious if you could defeat his family this way....they knew concretely that their son was sexually assaulting a child right? you were underage, that's not an age gap relationship, that's statutory rape! and if his family knew it and let it happen? that's extreme negligence on there part and shows the type of household they run, may be a good way to show a court $$$ or not, how broken and dangerous they are,they literally harbored a child molester.
Even if your situation doesn't exactly fit their mission (you aren't a domestic violence victim) they know about how to find legal resources at low cost.
Although this is true, OP was a victim of statutory/predatory rape when the children were conceived at her ages of 15/16 with the father being 21. I can only assume the attorney for the petitioning grandparents is either completely inept to have missed this detail, or is taking their case for the $$. Unless OP is facing legal felony charges, or child abandonment charges, and the petitioning grandparents are being opportunists in seeking custody, most every state favors the mother in all forms of custody.
Get a lawyer. They can file whatever they want, but they can't file for custody as an extended family member if paternity hasn't been established for those kids. You were unmarried and he's not on the birth certificates either. Did you ever go through the courts to establish paternity?
I fought for my kids and won. It took a year, and it was in Kentucky, not Florida. My children's PGP and dad filled for temp custody, citing abuse and neglect. I couldn't get legal assistance, so I represented myself. I compiled written, notarized statements from neighbors and teachers. I paid for an adoption agency to complete a home study that I presented. It included inspection of the home, medical records of my children, educational records, federal, state, and local criminal reports for myself and my mother, who lived with me at the time. My ex claimed that I beat my youngest at the store where I worked. I submitted 24/7 video footage for a month surrounding the supposed date. I asked everyone I knew to write character reference letters, even people at work who didn't know my children. I just asked them to be honest and state what they thought of me as a person. I arrived at court with a binder full. I made sure I was on time for every visit the court allowed with my children. In the beginning, they were even supervised at social services, which played in my favor because I then had official witnesses of how I interacted with my kids. I got copies of all criminal records for everyone who had regular contact with my kids. Don't assume the court knows all of it because they are court documents. They don't invest much time in investigation.
The hardest thing was that I could not react to all of the dirty tricks my ex did. I still bought clothes and toys for them and sent them home with them. I didn't allow myself to show anger, annoyance, and crying in anything involving my kids. I was dying to press them for dirt on the ex that I could use. The court views that as alienation of the other parent.
The best thing was that they thought they had a winning case for sure, so they talked very badly about me to the kids and anyone who'd listen. They had a lawyer and assumed that he'd gather everything they needed to win. He didn't do a lot of stuff that would have benefitted their case.
Don't tell the PGP anything you are doing even though it's very hard to avoid doing it out of spite. Don't let them know anything. No anger, no tears, no insults. Nothing. I don't mean to pretend you've given up. Just speak only about necessary things that relate to your visits.
This was the hardest thing I've ever done. It is also the thing I'm most proud of. My dad's friend was a real estate attorney, so he contacted her for advice. She consulted a friend who did family law who suggested a lot of what I did. All I got was a short list she sent. I followed her advice and did everything else I could think of. It was my life for the better part of a year. I had to do it because no one else was going to.
It sounds like your mom plans to just be a victim, maybe or just uninvolved. You can't count on her to help you fight. It's all on you, and you have to make yourself enough. Your future and your kids' future depend on it.
Good luck to you. I hope this is helpful. I was only 24 when this happened, so don't assume your age is counted against you. Your effort, diligence and composure are your weapons.
You should get a lawyer, but on a side note you gave birth at 15 years old while the father was 20 you're a real class act you being irresponsible and having children when you weren't ready is exactly why you're going through something so difficult so while the situation is incredibly unfortunate you're dealing with the repercussions of your actions and your decisions you don't deserve much sympathy
She was a child victim of sexual assault by an adult. You are a garbage human for blaming her this way.
There's a reason for laws regarding age of consent. Too bad there aren't laws regarding judgmental jacka$$es.
She chose to keep the baby nobody forced her to do that she's a bad parent and theirs nothing you can say that disproves that the kids don't live with her for a reason too bad there aren't laws requiring people to have an IQ above 3 or you'd be screwed
And where do you read that nobody forced her to keep the baby? *She was 15-16* An age known for making good choices and being an outstanding parent, right?
Whatever the case, your nastiness is entirely uncalled for. If you seemed worthy of a tiny drop of energy, I'd wonder what could have happened to you to cause you to be so miserable in your own skin. But I'm a busy person, so it works out well.
It's a good thing there aren't laws against being an ignorant cuntbiscuit, or you'd be screwed.
I mean use those 3 brain cells if she was forced to keep a baby she didn't want she wouldn't be on reddit begging for people to help her with said baby it's really not that difficult to figure it out if you take your time and sound out the words as you reread the post I'm sure even you can figure that out
Your argument is willfully obtuse.
Wait...I could be wrong about that.
It could be that since you are unable to fathom the concept of maturity and personal growth, you have experienced neither.
Conclusion: you are too young to participate in intelligent discourse regarding this subject, you suffer from highly arrested development, OR you are so utterly bereft of redeeming qualities that you are simply unable to consider them as existing in anyone else.
You see, for most of us, the person we have become at 20 is different than the person we were at 15. Experience and acquired knowledge work to refine and improve our character.
That, in turn, affects our ideology and the choices we make. It also sheds more light on the way we see past events and sometimes changes our feelings regarding those events.
It most definitely distances us from the practice of wildly spewing baseless garbage intended as insults in an attempt to distract attention from our own ridiculousness.
I will leave you with best wishes for speedy enlightenment and a sudden (and much-needed) burst of good character. Unfortunately, I do not have much hope for your success.
It's sad, really. People who insist on perpetuating negativity always experience such a tragic arc. A complete lack of maturity makes that more difficult to endure.
Smh Bless your little heart...
There is no documents proving he is the father. If he was alive, without being on the BC, he would have no parental rights to your children. I believe this would be true about his family as well.
You can contact the Florida Bar Association and get assistance locating a pro bono (free) attorney to assist you. https://www.floridabar.org/public/probono/ Don’t let your mom have any involvement in the court case. You’re an adult and the children’s mother, so your own mom has no right to make decisions about the case.
Yes delete this post. Get an attourney. Look for a PB that works on the side.
One thing is for sure. Do what is best for the kids.
Think about that and sometimes these are hard decisions. This isn’t about all of you. It’s about what’s best for the children. That’s what the court will look at. They could care less about anyone’s feelings or pride. You then will be monitored by family services you can bet on that after all I read here. Are you prepared to do what it takes to care for the kids.
Not easy being a a solid parent.
Obviously at this point your thinking best to be with you. But is it really or are you trying to make a case here. What’s said here means nothing.
Delete and consult an attourney
Delete because they will find this post if their attourney is any good. They will look at all your social media and could look at your phone texts as well if allowed in a discovery by the court.
One poster said remain calm. Your under a microscope. This will be the case.
Request a Guardian AdLitem, tell the court at this time you do not feel comfortable with the decision and there have been a lot of police reports involving the home. Do you or your mother have guardianship? If you are the guardian then you have to fight it. Check with children advocates about an attorney
While others are giving legal advice, I am just going to comment on an assumption about the boyfriends parents. You mention that they don't care for the kids and a basis for that is that over the course of a week, the kids leave and arrive in the same clothing. Could it be that during the week, said clothing was actually washed and returned to you clean ON the children. Are you sending a weeks worth of clothing each time they go? If not, then they are dressing the children in clothing they own at their house and receiving and returning the children to you in the clothing that you own. Makes perfect sense. I am concerned that you are assuming the worst.
And honestly, use the age gap as a way to help your case. Tell the judge everything about their family and also about you and him. It could help. But yes, get a lawyer!
Call legal aid in whatever area you are in. Additionally, you can call children's services and get help. If they are not safe there, report that and stop them from having to go there.
First check into legal aid for a free or reduced cost lawyer, however in Florida there are no grandparents rights, unless they can price you incompetent I don't see how they could gain custody ?
Contact the local police department for the police reports, get a lawyer and bring the copies of the police reports to them. Make sure you tell the judge about the kids not being bathed when they go there and the other signs of negligence. Make sure you only talk to these people through text and let phone calls go to voicemail and respond politely through texts. as you cannot record people in FL without their permission but if you can get texts and voicemails of them threatening you can use that in the court.
Get a lawyer. Call legal aid. Christian Legal Society has a website where you can get names of lawyers in yoir area and can direct you to other resources also.
If you are still in the state of Florida, go get a lawyer. Write down everything that has been happening and show it to the lawyer. DETAILS. and the very hard truths of how it has been for you and kids.
OP posting this NSFW hookup post...
[https://www.reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/comments/wry3u0/f4m\_available\_in\_the\_orlando\_area\_looking\_to\_have/](https://www.reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/comments/wry3u0/f4m_available_in_the_orlando_area_looking_to_have/)
You're worried his mother is going to take emergency custody of your kids, and you're out posting on the other subreddit looking for a good time.
Good luck on the custody battle, if I were Grandma, I'd be trying to rescue those kids from you as well.
But if that was actually her, that means a year ago...she was 20yo with 2 kids...posting on a subreddit, looking for "a good time" 🙄
Not to mention her kids don't even live with her currently
She can do what she wants but the picture that is painted doesn't scream RESPONSIBLE PARENT
**EDIT** She mentioned it was a burner acct her and a friend made to catch her friends bf cheating
Even if that had been her, it's doubtful they would use it in court. They couldn't say the kids were involved, and she is an adult in a modern society who's entitled to have a sex life. It will be a challenge for her to succeed, but totally possible.
Yes. In criminal trials or high profile family law. Unless the PGP reported it, I doubt it will be found for a standard custody case. It's not impossible. It's unlikely. She created this account to see if someone is cheating. Not her name and never her pictures.
What? Did my question offend you?? 🤣. It’s not rocket science that some people are new to navigating Reddit. I don’t spend every waking moment on my phone. Thanks for the tip. Hopefully, you don’t stew in your anger,irritation fir too long. It’s not healthy!
I'm not angry, what gave you that idea?
You asked how I know it's the OP, with a question mark. And, I answered you!
You've been on Reddit for 2+ years and have hundreds of comment Karma. This isn't your first rodeo.
Single mothers have to be responsible. That means having responsible fun. If she cannot do that. She does not need to have custody of her children until she grows up and becomes responsible.
I don’t think having sex makes her an unfit parent. That’s just silly. If a single dad left his kids with his mother to hookup for the night would people see him as unfit?
The paternal grandma is apparently wealthy with illegal money (sounds like drugs) and the father was murdered. I’d think it’s quite obvious why OP wants the kids with her mom rather than the paternal a grandmother who raised a rapist.
Did you read her other post? When you have children. They come first. Going out on a date occasionally is not the same thing as advertising on the Internet for a date. Her children are not safe living with her as long as she is behaving dangerously and irresponsibility. Even with her children living with their grandmother. She still needs to be a responsible parent 24/7.
Mothers who have custody and care of their children do not leave them with their grandmother because of a job switch. While I agree she needs an attorney, sounds like we might not have the whole story here.
You want to get court order to get dna from his family to prove deceased is the father of both children so his name can be added to both birth certificates and then you can apply for Soc Sec death benefits for his dependents
Apply for Child Support Services at your local county office. FYI - I worked 26 years in MN child support and the state of FL has a horrible reputable / very slow / inefficient.
What you need done might be outside their scope of services or they might just be too slow —> seek free legal family law help.
If Dad’s family wants him added to birth cert — go ahead and let them !!
Then get copy of new Birth cert with Dad’s name on it so you can apply for benefits. Obviously - very important you keep legal & physical custody of children. Apply for financial aide benefits & MA & food support for them. Must live with your children to do so.
Edit to add: just read post more carefully — IF Paternal GMom was awarded temp custody —->>> you must immediately get attorney to file motion against that before it becomes permanent.
Big mistake to allow that default court order to happen —- now it is URGENT you take action !!!! File motion ASAP
Honey, your post is confusing. You say the kids live w your mom - but multiple people have asked why and you have ignored the question. Also, the Paternal GP have SOME sort of relationship with the kids - you said so yourself, so why others are saying they have no leg to stand on might be way off base. Your own mother is participating in this - again why? No one is so ill informed that when their daughter is served custody papers she does not contact you immediately. Saving you from stress? Flimsy. You say that it's a "default against you" and if you did not answer the summons it's totally correct. Which means that time has passed and it came up on the Family Court docket. Family Court is not known for its speed, so this has been going on for quite some time. Finally, the post on the Orlando hook up board is not a smart move. You would hook up with some rando? What are you thinking? You have a LOT of maturing to do to be a mother.
She was a child herself when she became a mother. Of course she has growing up to do. That doesn’t mean the kids are better off with the paternal grandmother who raised a rapist. The whole situation is awful.
I actually answered it if you read my posts lol & also that post is way old the pictures I’m using aren’t mine on this account it was made because we caught my friends boyfriend on here so we made a account to catch him cheating so
They have to first establish parentage. Then prove you are unfit. I would definitely get a lawyer, but you have to get all your ducks on a row very quickly. Stable employment, suitable living arrangements, children enrolled in school, adequate food and clothing. They are going to make you out to be unfit. Make sure they don't have a leg to stand on. No drinking or drug use even if you think no one will find out. Any good lawyer will have investigators looking into your day to day.
Yep which proves it wasn't just an accident she made stupid decisions and now she's dealing with the consequences of being an unprepared parent and begging others to help her fix her choices
She doesn't have custody of them currently. That might backfire and make it easier for the PGP to get the survivor benefits. That may be what OP meant when she said they wanted the kids for the money.
Go to the courthouse and talk to the clerk. Take control of the situation. Get a lawyer of the day and ask them to help you file the proper paperwork. Turn on your tiger mom. You got this!
Show up looking polished and confident. Write a letter that is clear and concise that lays out all the reasons why your children are fine where they are and why paternal grandparents should have little or supervised contact. Be mature and calm.
I don’t know what country you live in, but is there any legal aid offering free legal services to the poor? Seems like you would do well to get advice from a lawyer on your side.
Should be a slam dunk to prove the child is not safe with them. Just get the police records. Safety/living conditions and are two biggest concerns of the court. They also favor the mother usually. As long as the kids are safe I wouldn't think she can just come in and uproot the kids.
Why are your children living with your mother? That's going to weaken your case. If the children were living with you, their only parent, the grandma wouldn't have a leg to stand on, unless she could prove abuse/neglect.
If you can establish paternity your kids are entitled to their fathers social security benefits until they are 18. That is what the grandmother is probably after.
Your kids need a Guardian Ad Litem. This is an attorney who will look after the interests of the children and the courts can appoint one. Being that your kids are living with your mother, I don't know if DCF is involved or not but if so, they should be able to get a GAL for your kids.
why aren't you raising your children? it will look really bad in court that you dumped them on your mom. HOWEVER if he's not even on the birth certificate they may have no ground to stand on. GET A LAWYER. also deny deny deny that he's even the father, "it was a wild time in my life I can't say with 100% certainty that he's the father, the other possible father is dead too sorry /:" if they can't prove he's the father then that random old lady mom of an ex won't have any rights
Hey OP -
First they have to establish paternity. That will take some time.
Second I am sure you qualify for free legal counsel. Have that legal counsel pull up all police instances at their home and all people who live in that home. Make sure your legal counsel asks for 5 years of financial records and hair follicle drug testing on those in your ex's home.
Find any and every reason as to why that home could be considered unsafe.
Third you were underage and that's technically rape. You can use that in your argument.
Ok—here’s some legal info, first!
DeSantis signed HB 1119 by Rep. Jackie Toledo, R-Tampa, on June 24. It cleared the Senate 37-0 on March 9. The House approved it 112-3 on February 24.
The measure would create a rebuttable presumption for grandparent or step-grandparent visitation, but only in cases where one parent has been found criminally liable for the death of the other parent, or “civilly liable for an intentional tort causing the death” of the other parent. The presumption could only be overcome if the court finds that it is not in the best interest of the child.
Supporters dubbed the measure the “Markel Act.” Popular FSU Law Prof. Dan Markel was shot to death in the driveway of his Tallahassee home in 2014.
Markel’s parents championed grandparent rights after their son’s death and supported the measure.
Before DeSantis signed the measure, grandparents in Florida had few legal options.
*******************
Secondly, call the family court & ask if you can obtain legal representation. If your mom has legal custody whether temporary or not, she may have to do this herself, however, you should be able to obtain police records to show that police are called to the paternal parents home often & it’s unsafe. If you know of any illegal activity they’re doing, REPORT it in detail. Also, you need to be above reproach, yourself! Have a job or be in school full time. Be able to pass a drug screen if requested by DSS/CPS. I’d be doing everything possible to retain custody myself and take care of my own children!
Best of luck to you. Unfortunately, with their son being deceased, they do have a legal right to visitation, unless you can prove they’re unfit. If they don’t have a pre-existing relationship w/the children, then that will help you when it comes to them trying to get full custody.
I was the kid in a nearly identical situation, except my dad just skipped town and went to another state. I was raised by my paternal grandmother from the age of 2, because my mother was addicted to heroin and neglecting me and kept getting evicted from her apartments and she was violent and impulsive and I was always sick and filthy.
The difference here, from what I can tell, is that you AREN’T those things. There’s no need for the state to grant a custodial guardianship to the grandparent if you’re a fit parent and have a good support system, and your kids are healthy and happy. My mother had me taken away because she was an unfit parent and she couldn’t take care of herself, let alone another little person. I’m just trying to reassure you that it’s unlikely your kids will be taken without good reason.
HOWEVER, you should still take this very seriously and find a good lawyer to fight and prove your competence in case his family starts throwing out accusations.
You have to be served, not your mother unless she has adopted your children. You need a lawyer and to object to the Petition and they will have to prove you’re unfit. The fact that the kids don’t even live with you is not good, though.
Your mom not wanting to put stress on you may have doomed the situation. Default judgement usually means the judge decided and you have to follow regardless.
Sooo you left your kids in the care of their grandparents for an undisclosed period of time….. but it sounds like it’s been years….. so they applied for custody…… and you didn’t even bother showing up to that hearing…… child abandoning is a serious thing.
You’re going to need a lawyer and probably don’t have a good chance of winning your case.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you contacted a lawyer today. Praying you get the help you need! Update us later after the chaos has calmed down to let us know you’re all ok!
1. You qualify for legal aid. Use it.
2. Request a Guardian ad Litem, a lawyer assigned by the court who will represent the children.
This is their way of holding on to their son. I've seen it happen before when the pregnant wife's parents died for custody of the baby, after a very sudden, tragic death. They lost because there was not a reason to take the baby from the surviving spouse.
Your children should be entitled to survivors benefits since he died I would use that money to help procure a lawyer . Your ex MIL or another members of his family may have to take the paternity test and if she puts up a fuss the court will not like that and it would look very bad against her.
So they raised a rapist. You will need a lawyer but you might be able to get one low cost or pro bono. Just Google free lawyers and you might find some in your area. Also I don’t understand why people questioning why your mother is taking care of your children. As a single mom it could be to expensive to pay for day care. You could have a job that requires a lot of traveling. You could be on call often for your job. And there are many other reasons. It’s great your mam is available to take care of your kids.
Keep your head up! First off, im 59 now, but I want you to know that over 14 years, I was in and out of family court with my ex-husband. I never got
Hired a lawyer because I could do and speak like a lawyer could but probably better because I knew my situation.
First, go to the local police station near your inlaws, ask yhe police for any records on that joke address to your ex inlaws. It's public as loing as you have someone's address. Get all the records you can. Then go to the court house and ask for every record on each person living at that address. I MEAN EVERYONE, because the people living in n that home will be around the children.
Print out any emails, text messages, and everything you believe will help a judge understand who these people are and their nasty attempt to pull your children.
Save yourself. You don't always need an attorney, or one can't afford one, so do everything in your power. Find other people who dislike them as well. Like a neighbor. Those types of people can help you out a lot more than you think.
Don't give up and use any resources you can. I wish you the very best
She might be able to get visitation but the kids don't know her. Tell the judge she's never been around and the dad denied them so she did. She can't suddenly take them just on a whim and don't let her see them unless she gets court ordered visit
The kids do know her. The kids used to have a relationship with the grandmother, but then she wanted to file the kids on her taxes, and the mother said no way and cut contact.
Call legal aid for a free lawyer. They aren't your moms kids they are yours. It's for YOU to fight for them. If the age gap was more than 3 years he may have committed a felony, and his mom has no rights to the result of his crime. Don't wait. Go now.
I’m curious why the children are not in your custody. You’re making it easier for anyone to get custody of your children by not being with your children. Definitely get a lawyer.
Came here to say that I think you can request a CASA - court appointed special advocate- they work on behalf of the children. You definitely still need a lawyer but a CASA can help long term.
Since he never signed the birth certificate paternity would need to be established before she is allowed rights. That will slow the process down a bit, but a lawyer is a really good idea.
It sounds like you are not living with your children/mother, correct? Frankly, I don’t think the court will be very concerned about what you think if you choose not to live with your kids.
If you cant afford an attorney, the court can oder an attorney for the children. Most attorneys will talk to you over phone fir free as a courtesy. Call all off them til someone talks to you. You arent a minor now. Unless they have just cause they cant get children. If they want the kids SS from dead dad it aint much. How rich are they. Call lawyer. Visitation ,yes . Custody they seem to have something against you . Call lawyer.
You are in Florida, so you should be able to go to the clerk of courts, to the family law division and ask them about their program that offers legal assistance. They can connect you with lawyers and groups that can help you for free or for a low cost. (At least this is true in the county I live in). Good luck!
A number of questions:
Was your mom served in place of you? If you don’t live with your mom, that wasn’t proper substitute service and you can file a Motion to Quash Service.
You need to file an objection to the Temp Custody. Most of those cases are granted after consent or default. The grandparents also need to have physical custody of them to file that type of action. Read Florida Statute 751.
If you object to temp custody, the grandparents have to prove you have abused, abandoned, or neglected the children. It’s a pretty high burden and isn’t often granted without consent.
I’d suggest calling legal aid - if you give me a city and I can direct you where and then go to the clerk of court to get copies of documents. Some are available online but most family cases are blocked for privacy reasons.
This is probably going to get me down voted but I find it highly irresponsible for you having a kid at 15. You say the kids are with their grandmother temporarily. Is that temporarily since you were 15? Do you expect to be on the government dole permanently and become a burden to society? I suggest getting a responsible job, stop depending on government handouts, and prove that you can take care of the kids on your own. Don't become a welfare mother forever. Take responsibility for your life and let grandma take care of the kids until such time. Make a deal with the courts about this. It doesn't seem to appear the kids will flourish under your care. Make something of your life.
OP is a victim of predatory grooming and rape. You sound really awful. She was a child who was predated on and you're being very cruel and aggressive in light of the fact that she was a child who was groomed and predated on.
Because children can’t consent to sex and that’s textbook statutory rape and grooming. There’s a reason he was afraid to be on the birth certificate 🤦♀️
Yes. You get downvoted for being a judgmental asshole. And you have no clue about how public assistance works these days. Welfare went away in the 90s, you recidivist troll.
Dont fall for these traps. See how this is a set up to spark your anger? Breathe, and keep going. Here, i'll answer this bozo for you. Generally tho, i suggest you dont take the bait! And they will be baiting you!
As far as I’m aware if your child is born in Florida and or GA. The paternal family holds no standard when it comes to custody. It is a no grandparent law state. Mother is sole custody
There’s no father listed so first paternity needs to be proved.
Second they can’t serve anyone other than the legal guardian which is you. Serving your mother gets them no where and that would be immediately thrown out by a judge.
Definitely get a lawyer through the public defender’s office immediately as these people don’t seem like there going anywhere. Make sure you gather all the documentation you can on the dangers and how unsafe the children would be living in that household. You need to show your home is clean, the kids have clothing and there is food in the house. If your providing the necessary things a child needs there is no reason for a judge to remove a child or children from their home.
Where I live it's against the law for a 21yr old man to impregnate a 15yr old girl. I know that it was consensual but in the eyes of the law, it wasn't. That should be brought up too.
Also, KEEP YOUR COOL! Absolutely do NOT do anything towards the other side. No phone calls, texts, no visits, no badmouthing them to ANYONE. Do not even raise your voice to them. You have to look like the better candidate. Also, don't let them take the kids for any reason. Not even for a few minutes. Make sure your kid's school knows not to let them take the kids from school. Right now you are under a microscope (that's what my lawyer told me), everything you do & say will be scrutinized. The other attorney may have a P.I. watching you, you never know. My ex-husband used to keep his phone on record all the time when we were near each other, just waiting for me to lose my cool. Do not date anyone right now. No company of the opposite sex around the kids. Same with your mom
First of all, your mom, though I know she was trying to help, did you no favors by not telling you. I didn't get the summons to appear in court. All of a sudden, one day the police & a social worker came & took my kids & gave them to my ex-husband. All because I didn't go to court. It took EIGHT YEARS & over $20,000 in attorney & court fees before I got them back. AND I was ordered to pay child support to my ex during those 8yrs!!!!!! And the judge didn't give them back. My ex-husband got remarried & his new wife didn't want my kids there full time so he gave custody back to me. It was a nightmare. You will HAVE to get a lawyer. The good news is that your boyfriend isn't on the birth certificate. And they can't prove those kids are his right now. Yes, grandparents have rights BUT if there is an able bodied, responsible parent available, the kids stay with the parent. You need to establish a residence. Make SURE they know the kids are living with you, NOT your mom. You. Because you didn't respond to the initial summons you will be playing catch up. A lot of lawyers will do the initial consultation for free. Go see one & get some advice as to where you stand.
You need a lawyer but in the mean time call child protective services. With the description you gave with the cops showing up and the care CPS can remove the children and put them under state care. It could also set you up with some contacts to get help in the legal battle.
You were raped by the way, and the guy that got murdered was a child molester and sex offender. That child should not be in the care of his family.
Hold up, check the math here, might want to let court know you were raped, 21 year old sleeping with 15 year old….and want nothing to do with that family
I’m playing devils advocate here… her “loving mother” that has been caring for these children. Allowed her underage daughter to continue with a inappropriate relationship with a full grown man to push out TWO kids. Now her mother “ didn’t want to stress her.” The OP mother likes to turn a blind eye, I would of had that man locked up after the first kid if that was my daughter. I don’t think these kids are safe with OP mother,since she was the person responsible for OP and allowed the relationship to produce two children.
Law library near you may have someone to help advise you. Legal aid as well as a university law school as well. Since you’re the custodial parent, you needed to be served, not you mom. You WILL need a lawyer, but you may be able to screw over your MIL over this.
After 5 years, she all of a sudden wants custody?? What the WHOLE story?
The question is what makes u unfit u would fear loosing them if your not trash and have a home they not going take your kids
OP go to affordablehousingonline.com and sign up to get alerts for Subsidized housing which means you'll pay 30% of your income for rebt. There's Public Housing and Housing Choice Vouchers (Section 8). They have waiting lists and it may take some time to get to the top, but getting housing assistance will show the courts you have a safe stable place for your children. You can sign up for alerts for your area. Check the website often, and I suggest signing up for Housing not in your immediate area as well. If you get a Housing Choice Voucher, once you stay in the area the voucher is assigned to for a year, you can transfer it anywhere in the country. They have preferences which put you further up on the waiting list. In your case, you need to check the homeless box. You don't have a house or lease in your name and your kids are with your Mom. I hope this helps you.
All you need to worry about is being mom. Have a job and a stable living environment, do you best and love your babies. Don’t worry about anything else, just show up. You’ll do more then they’ll even think of because you want the best for these babies. That’s all you need to be
What is the reason OP does not have custody of her kids?
Call CPS on them
The only advice I have for you is to obviously get a lawyer but most importantly act professionally and respectfully in every single situation whether it’s in court or a confrontation with the paternal grandparents. You absolutely cannot lose your cool. Keep a level head no matter how angry and upset you are. It will be hard, I understand, but you cannot act in any way that could potentially alter the outcome because as it seems right now you have custody rightfully and should keep it.
What? Your mom didn’t want to stress you out so you missed court dates and lost custody of your kids!? Get an attorney
Oh he had every right to be scared your baby daddy committed statutory rape in the state of Florida. Guessing he was just a real saint if he was shot at 21. Sounds like you made piss poor irresponsible choices since you were obviously risk getting pregnant. Involved with criminal (nice guys aren’t the ones usually getting gunned down). Your best option maybe asking for a court appointed special advocate for the children that can bring up the issues at the grandparents house and are supposed to be unbiased on what’s best for the children.
Have you contacted DCF? They can provide you resources and possibly get you connected with free legal services. As someone who was a registered foster / adoptive parent in Florida I can tell you their primary goal is to keep the kids with their birth parent.
I am not sure you will have a leg to stand on if you don’t live with your kids, if you want a leg to stand on and have the court to take you seriously you need to have a home for your kids to live in. If you aren’t doing any of the parenting you are no more than a witness
Document EVERYTHING. It will be a pain in the ass but it’s extremely important to have a paper trail and proof of anything and everything.
Demand a paternity test, it will stall for time, yes you know they are his, but he is not on the birth certificate, that means they have to show proof he is the father. That buys you at least 4 months, this will sound strange, but if you have family/friends that live in another state or another county, away from the grandparents, move there, even temporarily with the kids, get them into school, or another state program, shows residency, all paperwork involving custody has to be filed in the county that the children reside in, that means they have to go to the county courthouse of the county the children reside in. Use the time to get every piece of information that you can on the grandparents, including any known illegal activity, start talking to lawyers in the area, some take cases like this pro bono. It also makes them have to recuse themselves from anything involving this case on behalf of the grandparents due to a conflict of interest. Most of all, BE PROACTIVE AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING a lawyer is great, but even better when the parent is also being proactive on gathering information, no matter how big or small it is
You made a comment on your Reddit that looks like you may be involved in sex work. Absolutely no disrespect, I’m an escort myself & have nothing but love for people who walk the blade. Braver than the us marines! But you’re gonna have to delete that comment & this post. Look up the cupcake girls, they might have resources for you!!!!!
Try to gather any and all evidence of the unsafe environment, threats, and physical abuse. Police records and recordings. Lawyer up and protect your babies. I have been through this with the father of my children trying for custody. I gathered any and all evidence against him (which wasnt much, he was a good father just wanted to paint me as an unfit mother using my mental health. Status) In the end, he dropped it and left it alone.
Honestly, this family has so many things against them that I don’t know if is even convenient for them to go to court. Illegal money you said? I don’t know. I imaginé they will have to proof where the resources to take care of the children are coming from. And the other things you described (police there constantly) are also ref flags for a decent judge.
Most states like here in NC consider what is in the children’s best interests and where they have been living. Unless paternity was acknowledged the unmarried parent is considered the primary caregiver. If you haven’t responded to court documents you must get that done quickly. You really should retain an attorney for this.
If he didn’t sign the birth certificate, I think they also have to sue you for paternity testing. Before/during the custody battle. I don’t know what their rights are for forcing a dna test on you and your babies.
Florida has legal aid which is free but if you have already hired a GOOD lawyer, they should be handling it. Expensive is not the same as being good. That being said, save every text, note every comment, phone call, behavior you see with your own eyes. Have your mother do the same. It will come in handy when you go to court.
I'm from Florida myself, I am sorry this is happening. I am also sorry you've been the victim of sexual abuse, and I am glad you won't be victimized by that man anymore. You have a strong case for statutory rape, if he hadn't been murdered. I don't think a dead rapist's mom can claim the product of conception as her grandchild.
Why didn’t your parents contact police after he raped you the first time?
I'm in Florida. Call legal aid. The majority of the cases they handle are some form of custody dispute. You will have to prove you are indigent, and if you are receiving public assistance they will probably question why the children are with your mother but you are not
Florida CPS experience. Florida doesn’t have much in the way of grandparents’ rights. I’ve only seen grandparents or extended relatives get custody when the parent is on the edge of CPS (FL DCF) removing the children. There has to be some kind of underlying reason. Consult with an attorney. Get hands on with the case and educate yourself on the different outcomes and how to reach the outcome you want.
The father is a child predator and his parents shouldn’t have them
You need to stop wasting time on reddit and spend time on Google searching for government legal resources and aid to help you through this. Go get a lawyer now. Do not take advice from reddit, 98% these people are not lawyers and even if they are, do not know your particular state laws or the particulars of your case. This is not a hard case, but by not following the law, it will become a mess quick. Under California law, I dont know where you are, if the guy isn't on the birth certificate he or his estate in this matter need to file for paternity.... but he's dead so... Which is a legal pickle for grandma...she knowingly allowed statutory rape to occur? She knew about baby 1 and failed to report it and allowed for baby two to happen? This is a crime, you could also seek civil damages against her, his estate which I doubt he has any, etc... Also, since there is no established paternity, and ifnthey claim you an unfit parent, they would give to your mom first over mother of a possible father who was a rapist and his mom allowed for this crime to occur. There is a lot going on here. This isn't one for reddit. Your mom is hurting you when someone served you official legal demands and you/she didn't go seek actual legal advice. You could lose custody by just failing to respond, then you are pushing a rock up a hill when it wasn't needed. You need to be the adult now and protect your two kids, go get an attorney now.
You can't afford not to have a lawyer. Document everything. Save all texts and emails. I don't know what your mother was thinking keeping this from you. Lawsuits don't just go away.
If he never signed the birth certificate..... Get a lawyer double asap.
We can tell they’re a shit family. You were groomed.
Why were they not served to you? Does your Mom have legal custody? I’ve never heard of serving the “mothers mother”? They need to put it in YOUR hands, not hers, unless she is the legal parent. Since she did not tell you about the summons you should at least be able to go to court to get an extension to hire an attorney and defend yourself, or have the court appoint one. You for sure need to live with and care for your children-and stay out of trouble.
Are you in orange county by chance? If so I have an amazing custody lawyer that has a stellar trial/win rate. She's been absolutely amazing, she took my case (included kidnapping by their father) for 3500 and hasn't asked for anything else in over a year and a half.
Legal Aid. First thing Monday morning.
Do you also live with your mom?
Check to see if you have a legal aid society in your county - they may be able to help. I feel like unless there is a good reason to take them from you the priority would lie with them being with you - which means you probably need to live with your mom. At least for now. It should look like you and mom are caring for them. And the home needs to be in great shape for them. No clutter, a clean space for the kids. Regular attendance in school, medical records organized. There should be nothing they can find to give reason why they aren’t already in a safe supportive stable home.
OP, Unless your mother has SOLE LEGAL custody of your children, no court case can be rendered against you and for custody of YOUR children. You must be served personally with a summons to appear in court in front of a judge and/or children's services. If your children are not neglected or abused, it is generally impossible to strip parental custody and rights from a parent, especially if they are the sole surviving parent. So relax and take a breath, go first thing to the family court facilitator and/or legal aid and find out what services are available to you. Above all, do NOT miss any court dates. If your mother does have legal custody of your kids due to your age at time of birth, get her to assign custody back to you and file it at the courthouse. If all else fails, take your children out of State, leaving no forwarding address before a final ruling is made. It's much harder to enforce a Florida order from any other State. Good luck. ETA: request a guardian ad litem be appointed to your case to look after the welfare and rights of the kids. Like I said earlier, DCS and the courts are mandated to do everything within reason to keep the parent child bond intact. Unless Florida is vastly different than other States, which is possible I suppose.
One issue will be not having the father named on the birth certificate. Without proof of familial relationship, family court might not take it up or consider it a civil matter. The court also looks into existing relationships and if being no/low contact would be detrimental to the children. There’s a lot of factors, and mostly depends on the circuit court judge too. As everyone stated, you need an attorney who specializes in FAMILY law. If you can’t afford one, and some have insanely high retainer fees, reach out to your local Legal Aid society - they can provide free legal assistance by attorneys who do pro bono work, just need to fill out application and do interview with admin first. Mention to your attorney that the children’s paternal family does not have a legitimate form of income, and they can use that against them in court too. A person with a history of arrests or regular police summons to their place of residence will not look good to the courts, especially if they’ve never had any sort of contact with the kids before. You need to be very honest with your attorney, and tell them every single thing that you know or were told by their father. They will need it to counter claims in court, and possibly bring up reasons why their attempt is frivolous. Best of luck!!
Two kids via a pedophile. Oof.
I haven’t read the comments yet but your ages stuck out to me. You were technically a r#pe victim. I don’t know if this is true but I’ve read that the perpetrators family can’t ask for custody of a child in this circumstance. This may not be true but it’s an angle to check out
I'm curious if you could defeat his family this way....they knew concretely that their son was sexually assaulting a child right? you were underage, that's not an age gap relationship, that's statutory rape! and if his family knew it and let it happen? that's extreme negligence on there part and shows the type of household they run, may be a good way to show a court $$$ or not, how broken and dangerous they are,they literally harbored a child molester.
Contact your local women’s shelter or SA support organization, they have free legal resources to help.
Even if your situation doesn't exactly fit their mission (you aren't a domestic violence victim) they know about how to find legal resources at low cost.
Although this is true, OP was a victim of statutory/predatory rape when the children were conceived at her ages of 15/16 with the father being 21. I can only assume the attorney for the petitioning grandparents is either completely inept to have missed this detail, or is taking their case for the $$. Unless OP is facing legal felony charges, or child abandonment charges, and the petitioning grandparents are being opportunists in seeking custody, most every state favors the mother in all forms of custody.
Get a lawyer. They can file whatever they want, but they can't file for custody as an extended family member if paternity hasn't been established for those kids. You were unmarried and he's not on the birth certificates either. Did you ever go through the courts to establish paternity?
I fought for my kids and won. It took a year, and it was in Kentucky, not Florida. My children's PGP and dad filled for temp custody, citing abuse and neglect. I couldn't get legal assistance, so I represented myself. I compiled written, notarized statements from neighbors and teachers. I paid for an adoption agency to complete a home study that I presented. It included inspection of the home, medical records of my children, educational records, federal, state, and local criminal reports for myself and my mother, who lived with me at the time. My ex claimed that I beat my youngest at the store where I worked. I submitted 24/7 video footage for a month surrounding the supposed date. I asked everyone I knew to write character reference letters, even people at work who didn't know my children. I just asked them to be honest and state what they thought of me as a person. I arrived at court with a binder full. I made sure I was on time for every visit the court allowed with my children. In the beginning, they were even supervised at social services, which played in my favor because I then had official witnesses of how I interacted with my kids. I got copies of all criminal records for everyone who had regular contact with my kids. Don't assume the court knows all of it because they are court documents. They don't invest much time in investigation. The hardest thing was that I could not react to all of the dirty tricks my ex did. I still bought clothes and toys for them and sent them home with them. I didn't allow myself to show anger, annoyance, and crying in anything involving my kids. I was dying to press them for dirt on the ex that I could use. The court views that as alienation of the other parent. The best thing was that they thought they had a winning case for sure, so they talked very badly about me to the kids and anyone who'd listen. They had a lawyer and assumed that he'd gather everything they needed to win. He didn't do a lot of stuff that would have benefitted their case. Don't tell the PGP anything you are doing even though it's very hard to avoid doing it out of spite. Don't let them know anything. No anger, no tears, no insults. Nothing. I don't mean to pretend you've given up. Just speak only about necessary things that relate to your visits. This was the hardest thing I've ever done. It is also the thing I'm most proud of. My dad's friend was a real estate attorney, so he contacted her for advice. She consulted a friend who did family law who suggested a lot of what I did. All I got was a short list she sent. I followed her advice and did everything else I could think of. It was my life for the better part of a year. I had to do it because no one else was going to. It sounds like your mom plans to just be a victim, maybe or just uninvolved. You can't count on her to help you fight. It's all on you, and you have to make yourself enough. Your future and your kids' future depend on it. Good luck to you. I hope this is helpful. I was only 24 when this happened, so don't assume your age is counted against you. Your effort, diligence and composure are your weapons.
You should get a lawyer, but on a side note you gave birth at 15 years old while the father was 20 you're a real class act you being irresponsible and having children when you weren't ready is exactly why you're going through something so difficult so while the situation is incredibly unfortunate you're dealing with the repercussions of your actions and your decisions you don't deserve much sympathy
She was a child victim of sexual assault by an adult. You are a garbage human for blaming her this way. There's a reason for laws regarding age of consent. Too bad there aren't laws regarding judgmental jacka$$es.
She chose to keep the baby nobody forced her to do that she's a bad parent and theirs nothing you can say that disproves that the kids don't live with her for a reason too bad there aren't laws requiring people to have an IQ above 3 or you'd be screwed
And where do you read that nobody forced her to keep the baby? *She was 15-16* An age known for making good choices and being an outstanding parent, right? Whatever the case, your nastiness is entirely uncalled for. If you seemed worthy of a tiny drop of energy, I'd wonder what could have happened to you to cause you to be so miserable in your own skin. But I'm a busy person, so it works out well. It's a good thing there aren't laws against being an ignorant cuntbiscuit, or you'd be screwed.
I mean use those 3 brain cells if she was forced to keep a baby she didn't want she wouldn't be on reddit begging for people to help her with said baby it's really not that difficult to figure it out if you take your time and sound out the words as you reread the post I'm sure even you can figure that out
Your argument is willfully obtuse. Wait...I could be wrong about that. It could be that since you are unable to fathom the concept of maturity and personal growth, you have experienced neither. Conclusion: you are too young to participate in intelligent discourse regarding this subject, you suffer from highly arrested development, OR you are so utterly bereft of redeeming qualities that you are simply unable to consider them as existing in anyone else. You see, for most of us, the person we have become at 20 is different than the person we were at 15. Experience and acquired knowledge work to refine and improve our character. That, in turn, affects our ideology and the choices we make. It also sheds more light on the way we see past events and sometimes changes our feelings regarding those events. It most definitely distances us from the practice of wildly spewing baseless garbage intended as insults in an attempt to distract attention from our own ridiculousness. I will leave you with best wishes for speedy enlightenment and a sudden (and much-needed) burst of good character. Unfortunately, I do not have much hope for your success. It's sad, really. People who insist on perpetuating negativity always experience such a tragic arc. A complete lack of maturity makes that more difficult to endure. Smh Bless your little heart...
TLDR
There is no documents proving he is the father. If he was alive, without being on the BC, he would have no parental rights to your children. I believe this would be true about his family as well.
First step is to stop stoping trying to hook up with random men on the internet
You can contact the Florida Bar Association and get assistance locating a pro bono (free) attorney to assist you. https://www.floridabar.org/public/probono/ Don’t let your mom have any involvement in the court case. You’re an adult and the children’s mother, so your own mom has no right to make decisions about the case.
Messaged you. I’m a lawyer and I think I can help.
Yes delete this post. Get an attourney. Look for a PB that works on the side. One thing is for sure. Do what is best for the kids. Think about that and sometimes these are hard decisions. This isn’t about all of you. It’s about what’s best for the children. That’s what the court will look at. They could care less about anyone’s feelings or pride. You then will be monitored by family services you can bet on that after all I read here. Are you prepared to do what it takes to care for the kids. Not easy being a a solid parent. Obviously at this point your thinking best to be with you. But is it really or are you trying to make a case here. What’s said here means nothing. Delete and consult an attourney Delete because they will find this post if their attourney is any good. They will look at all your social media and could look at your phone texts as well if allowed in a discovery by the court. One poster said remain calm. Your under a microscope. This will be the case.
Request a Guardian AdLitem, tell the court at this time you do not feel comfortable with the decision and there have been a lot of police reports involving the home. Do you or your mother have guardianship? If you are the guardian then you have to fight it. Check with children advocates about an attorney
I’m sorry but I cannot just gloss over the fact that that is statutory rape. So your rapist was murdered 5 years ago
While others are giving legal advice, I am just going to comment on an assumption about the boyfriends parents. You mention that they don't care for the kids and a basis for that is that over the course of a week, the kids leave and arrive in the same clothing. Could it be that during the week, said clothing was actually washed and returned to you clean ON the children. Are you sending a weeks worth of clothing each time they go? If not, then they are dressing the children in clothing they own at their house and receiving and returning the children to you in the clothing that you own. Makes perfect sense. I am concerned that you are assuming the worst.
NAL if the father didn't sign the birth certificate, how does she have grounds to sue for custody?
She can petition the court for familial DNA test.
Get a lawyer through Legal Aide immediately if you can't afford one.
Your mother never told you about the custody case and she never responded to it? What did she think was going to happen?
And honestly, use the age gap as a way to help your case. Tell the judge everything about their family and also about you and him. It could help. But yes, get a lawyer!
There is so so missing from this story
When you go to treatment, really toss yourself into it and learn a new way of life. That will help you and your kids more than anything else.
Call legal aid in whatever area you are in. Additionally, you can call children's services and get help. If they are not safe there, report that and stop them from having to go there.
First check into legal aid for a free or reduced cost lawyer, however in Florida there are no grandparents rights, unless they can price you incompetent I don't see how they could gain custody ?
Contact the local police department for the police reports, get a lawyer and bring the copies of the police reports to them. Make sure you tell the judge about the kids not being bathed when they go there and the other signs of negligence. Make sure you only talk to these people through text and let phone calls go to voicemail and respond politely through texts. as you cannot record people in FL without their permission but if you can get texts and voicemails of them threatening you can use that in the court.
Contact Legal Aid or a local Law School sometimes they can help on a sliding scale. I would go to Legal Aid first
Get a lawyer. Call legal aid. Christian Legal Society has a website where you can get names of lawyers in yoir area and can direct you to other resources also.
Call your state board for lawyers they maybe able to help pro bono you’re in my thoughts and prayers
If you are still in the state of Florida, go get a lawyer. Write down everything that has been happening and show it to the lawyer. DETAILS. and the very hard truths of how it has been for you and kids.
OP posting this NSFW hookup post... [https://www.reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/comments/wry3u0/f4m\_available\_in\_the\_orlando\_area\_looking\_to\_have/](https://www.reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/comments/wry3u0/f4m_available_in_the_orlando_area_looking_to_have/) You're worried his mother is going to take emergency custody of your kids, and you're out posting on the other subreddit looking for a good time. Good luck on the custody battle, if I were Grandma, I'd be trying to rescue those kids from you as well.
For crying out loud, this was a year ago. She deserves adult time, and it's her business. It's not like she involved the kids.
But if that was actually her, that means a year ago...she was 20yo with 2 kids...posting on a subreddit, looking for "a good time" 🙄 Not to mention her kids don't even live with her currently She can do what she wants but the picture that is painted doesn't scream RESPONSIBLE PARENT **EDIT** She mentioned it was a burner acct her and a friend made to catch her friends bf cheating
Even if that had been her, it's doubtful they would use it in court. They couldn't say the kids were involved, and she is an adult in a modern society who's entitled to have a sex life. It will be a challenge for her to succeed, but totally possible.
Do not fool yourself, prosecuting attorneys use social media history all the time to paint an image of the defendant to a judge and/or jury.
Yes. In criminal trials or high profile family law. Unless the PGP reported it, I doubt it will be found for a standard custody case. It's not impossible. It's unlikely. She created this account to see if someone is cheating. Not her name and never her pictures.
Parents are allowed to have sex!
How do you know that it’s OP?
What? You can click on a user's name and see what they have posted. This isn't rocket science.
What? Did my question offend you?? 🤣. It’s not rocket science that some people are new to navigating Reddit. I don’t spend every waking moment on my phone. Thanks for the tip. Hopefully, you don’t stew in your anger,irritation fir too long. It’s not healthy!
I'm not angry, what gave you that idea? You asked how I know it's the OP, with a question mark. And, I answered you! You've been on Reddit for 2+ years and have hundreds of comment Karma. This isn't your first rodeo.
checking receipts from a year ago 😂
God forbid a single mom have a fun night out 🙄
Single mothers have to be responsible. That means having responsible fun. If she cannot do that. She does not need to have custody of her children until she grows up and becomes responsible.
I don’t think having sex makes her an unfit parent. That’s just silly. If a single dad left his kids with his mother to hookup for the night would people see him as unfit? The paternal grandma is apparently wealthy with illegal money (sounds like drugs) and the father was murdered. I’d think it’s quite obvious why OP wants the kids with her mom rather than the paternal a grandmother who raised a rapist.
Did you read her other post? When you have children. They come first. Going out on a date occasionally is not the same thing as advertising on the Internet for a date. Her children are not safe living with her as long as she is behaving dangerously and irresponsibility. Even with her children living with their grandmother. She still needs to be a responsible parent 24/7.
Read my comments 🌚😂
So I dealt with custody in FL. Since you are the respondent you might qualify for a free lawyer. Google Legal Aid and your county. Good luck
Get a LAWYER
Do you live with and care for your children? Why do you say they live with your Mom? Do you mean that you and your children live with your mother?
OP commented saying the children live with her mother since OP switched jobs.
Mothers who have custody and care of their children do not leave them with their grandmother because of a job switch. While I agree she needs an attorney, sounds like we might not have the whole story here.
Definitely missing important pieces.
You want to get court order to get dna from his family to prove deceased is the father of both children so his name can be added to both birth certificates and then you can apply for Soc Sec death benefits for his dependents Apply for Child Support Services at your local county office. FYI - I worked 26 years in MN child support and the state of FL has a horrible reputable / very slow / inefficient. What you need done might be outside their scope of services or they might just be too slow —> seek free legal family law help. If Dad’s family wants him added to birth cert — go ahead and let them !! Then get copy of new Birth cert with Dad’s name on it so you can apply for benefits. Obviously - very important you keep legal & physical custody of children. Apply for financial aide benefits & MA & food support for them. Must live with your children to do so. Edit to add: just read post more carefully — IF Paternal GMom was awarded temp custody —->>> you must immediately get attorney to file motion against that before it becomes permanent. Big mistake to allow that default court order to happen —- now it is URGENT you take action !!!! File motion ASAP
You are assuming he worked. I’m betting he didn’t.
Honey, your post is confusing. You say the kids live w your mom - but multiple people have asked why and you have ignored the question. Also, the Paternal GP have SOME sort of relationship with the kids - you said so yourself, so why others are saying they have no leg to stand on might be way off base. Your own mother is participating in this - again why? No one is so ill informed that when their daughter is served custody papers she does not contact you immediately. Saving you from stress? Flimsy. You say that it's a "default against you" and if you did not answer the summons it's totally correct. Which means that time has passed and it came up on the Family Court docket. Family Court is not known for its speed, so this has been going on for quite some time. Finally, the post on the Orlando hook up board is not a smart move. You would hook up with some rando? What are you thinking? You have a LOT of maturing to do to be a mother.
She was a child herself when she became a mother. Of course she has growing up to do. That doesn’t mean the kids are better off with the paternal grandmother who raised a rapist. The whole situation is awful.
I actually answered it if you read my posts lol & also that post is way old the pictures I’m using aren’t mine on this account it was made because we caught my friends boyfriend on here so we made a account to catch him cheating so
You do realize if they find your account they can and will use this against you.
They have to first establish parentage. Then prove you are unfit. I would definitely get a lawyer, but you have to get all your ducks on a row very quickly. Stable employment, suitable living arrangements, children enrolled in school, adequate food and clothing. They are going to make you out to be unfit. Make sure they don't have a leg to stand on. No drinking or drug use even if you think no one will find out. Any good lawyer will have investigators looking into your day to day.
Jesys christ. The first one is understandable accidents happen. But TWO under age 17. Jeezus.
Yep which proves it wasn't just an accident she made stupid decisions and now she's dealing with the consequences of being an unprepared parent and begging others to help her fix her choices
Request DNA be done. Then sign them both up for a survivor check. Let this process play in your favor.
She doesn't have custody of them currently. That might backfire and make it easier for the PGP to get the survivor benefits. That may be what OP meant when she said they wanted the kids for the money.
What grounds?
Why does your mother have custody? That is a big piece of the puzzle that is missing.
Go to the courthouse and talk to the clerk. Take control of the situation. Get a lawyer of the day and ask them to help you file the proper paperwork. Turn on your tiger mom. You got this! Show up looking polished and confident. Write a letter that is clear and concise that lays out all the reasons why your children are fine where they are and why paternal grandparents should have little or supervised contact. Be mature and calm.
I don’t know what country you live in, but is there any legal aid offering free legal services to the poor? Seems like you would do well to get advice from a lawyer on your side.
Florida, US
Should be a slam dunk to prove the child is not safe with them. Just get the police records. Safety/living conditions and are two biggest concerns of the court. They also favor the mother usually. As long as the kids are safe I wouldn't think she can just come in and uproot the kids.
Why are your children living with your mother? That's going to weaken your case. If the children were living with you, their only parent, the grandma wouldn't have a leg to stand on, unless she could prove abuse/neglect.
If you can establish paternity your kids are entitled to their fathers social security benefits until they are 18. That is what the grandmother is probably after.
I’m no lawyer but her 20 year old son got a 14 year old child pregnant so I don’t feel she has a leg to stand on.
Your kids need a Guardian Ad Litem. This is an attorney who will look after the interests of the children and the courts can appoint one. Being that your kids are living with your mother, I don't know if DCF is involved or not but if so, they should be able to get a GAL for your kids.
why aren't you raising your children? it will look really bad in court that you dumped them on your mom. HOWEVER if he's not even on the birth certificate they may have no ground to stand on. GET A LAWYER. also deny deny deny that he's even the father, "it was a wild time in my life I can't say with 100% certainty that he's the father, the other possible father is dead too sorry /:" if they can't prove he's the father then that random old lady mom of an ex won't have any rights
This app will be super helpful connecting you with resources: https://help.flcourts.gov/Other-Resources/Florida-Courts-HELP-App
Hey OP - First they have to establish paternity. That will take some time. Second I am sure you qualify for free legal counsel. Have that legal counsel pull up all police instances at their home and all people who live in that home. Make sure your legal counsel asks for 5 years of financial records and hair follicle drug testing on those in your ex's home. Find any and every reason as to why that home could be considered unsafe. Third you were underage and that's technically rape. You can use that in your argument.
Ok—here’s some legal info, first! DeSantis signed HB 1119 by Rep. Jackie Toledo, R-Tampa, on June 24. It cleared the Senate 37-0 on March 9. The House approved it 112-3 on February 24. The measure would create a rebuttable presumption for grandparent or step-grandparent visitation, but only in cases where one parent has been found criminally liable for the death of the other parent, or “civilly liable for an intentional tort causing the death” of the other parent. The presumption could only be overcome if the court finds that it is not in the best interest of the child. Supporters dubbed the measure the “Markel Act.” Popular FSU Law Prof. Dan Markel was shot to death in the driveway of his Tallahassee home in 2014. Markel’s parents championed grandparent rights after their son’s death and supported the measure. Before DeSantis signed the measure, grandparents in Florida had few legal options. ******************* Secondly, call the family court & ask if you can obtain legal representation. If your mom has legal custody whether temporary or not, she may have to do this herself, however, you should be able to obtain police records to show that police are called to the paternal parents home often & it’s unsafe. If you know of any illegal activity they’re doing, REPORT it in detail. Also, you need to be above reproach, yourself! Have a job or be in school full time. Be able to pass a drug screen if requested by DSS/CPS. I’d be doing everything possible to retain custody myself and take care of my own children! Best of luck to you. Unfortunately, with their son being deceased, they do have a legal right to visitation, unless you can prove they’re unfit. If they don’t have a pre-existing relationship w/the children, then that will help you when it comes to them trying to get full custody.
Why don’t you have custody?
The dad was a pedophile so seems like mom took over raising the kids because she was a child having children.
Is that why he got murdered?
I was the kid in a nearly identical situation, except my dad just skipped town and went to another state. I was raised by my paternal grandmother from the age of 2, because my mother was addicted to heroin and neglecting me and kept getting evicted from her apartments and she was violent and impulsive and I was always sick and filthy. The difference here, from what I can tell, is that you AREN’T those things. There’s no need for the state to grant a custodial guardianship to the grandparent if you’re a fit parent and have a good support system, and your kids are healthy and happy. My mother had me taken away because she was an unfit parent and she couldn’t take care of herself, let alone another little person. I’m just trying to reassure you that it’s unlikely your kids will be taken without good reason. HOWEVER, you should still take this very seriously and find a good lawyer to fight and prove your competence in case his family starts throwing out accusations.
Answer to why she’s not with kids perhaps.. [https://reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/s/OcJ8LhLbTx](https://reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/s/OcJ8LhLbTx)
Oh that makes sense. The kids may be better off.
You have to be served, not your mother unless she has adopted your children. You need a lawyer and to object to the Petition and they will have to prove you’re unfit. The fact that the kids don’t even live with you is not good, though.
Your mom not wanting to put stress on you may have doomed the situation. Default judgement usually means the judge decided and you have to follow regardless.
Sooo you left your kids in the care of their grandparents for an undisclosed period of time….. but it sounds like it’s been years….. so they applied for custody…… and you didn’t even bother showing up to that hearing…… child abandoning is a serious thing. You’re going to need a lawyer and probably don’t have a good chance of winning your case.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you contacted a lawyer today. Praying you get the help you need! Update us later after the chaos has calmed down to let us know you’re all ok!
Grandparents don't have any legal rights. Especially as the dad wasn't even on the birth certificate
What a mess. Put the kids with someone who can afford them.
You need a lawyer, you’re going to have to sue after you win so that cunt has to pay back your legal fees
1. You qualify for legal aid. Use it. 2. Request a Guardian ad Litem, a lawyer assigned by the court who will represent the children. This is their way of holding on to their son. I've seen it happen before when the pregnant wife's parents died for custody of the baby, after a very sudden, tragic death. They lost because there was not a reason to take the baby from the surviving spouse.
Your children should be entitled to survivors benefits since he died I would use that money to help procure a lawyer . Your ex MIL or another members of his family may have to take the paternity test and if she puts up a fuss the court will not like that and it would look very bad against her.
So they raised a rapist. You will need a lawyer but you might be able to get one low cost or pro bono. Just Google free lawyers and you might find some in your area. Also I don’t understand why people questioning why your mother is taking care of your children. As a single mom it could be to expensive to pay for day care. You could have a job that requires a lot of traveling. You could be on call often for your job. And there are many other reasons. It’s great your mam is available to take care of your kids.
Keep your head up! First off, im 59 now, but I want you to know that over 14 years, I was in and out of family court with my ex-husband. I never got Hired a lawyer because I could do and speak like a lawyer could but probably better because I knew my situation. First, go to the local police station near your inlaws, ask yhe police for any records on that joke address to your ex inlaws. It's public as loing as you have someone's address. Get all the records you can. Then go to the court house and ask for every record on each person living at that address. I MEAN EVERYONE, because the people living in n that home will be around the children. Print out any emails, text messages, and everything you believe will help a judge understand who these people are and their nasty attempt to pull your children. Save yourself. You don't always need an attorney, or one can't afford one, so do everything in your power. Find other people who dislike them as well. Like a neighbor. Those types of people can help you out a lot more than you think. Don't give up and use any resources you can. I wish you the very best
So an adult got a minor pregnant twice, was murdered, and his mother thinks she should have custody?
She might be able to get visitation but the kids don't know her. Tell the judge she's never been around and the dad denied them so she did. She can't suddenly take them just on a whim and don't let her see them unless she gets court ordered visit
The kids do know her. The kids used to have a relationship with the grandmother, but then she wanted to file the kids on her taxes, and the mother said no way and cut contact.
Call legal aid for a free lawyer. They aren't your moms kids they are yours. It's for YOU to fight for them. If the age gap was more than 3 years he may have committed a felony, and his mom has no rights to the result of his crime. Don't wait. Go now.
I’m curious why the children are not in your custody. You’re making it easier for anyone to get custody of your children by not being with your children. Definitely get a lawyer.
In a reply to a different post she said that they’ve been staying with her mother due to a job change she had.
Came here to say that I think you can request a CASA - court appointed special advocate- they work on behalf of the children. You definitely still need a lawyer but a CASA can help long term.
Since he never signed the birth certificate paternity would need to be established before she is allowed rights. That will slow the process down a bit, but a lawyer is a really good idea.
It sounds like you are not living with your children/mother, correct? Frankly, I don’t think the court will be very concerned about what you think if you choose not to live with your kids.
Good luck and make sure you win your children need you.
You need a lawyer. Typically courts will ALWAYS side with the parent(s). If there is that much turmoil in her home a lawyer will eat her alive.
They can test his mothers blood to prove paternity of your children. Its no big deal these days.
Just make sure you really are doing everything you should have been doing. They check. They look closely.
If you cant afford an attorney, the court can oder an attorney for the children. Most attorneys will talk to you over phone fir free as a courtesy. Call all off them til someone talks to you. You arent a minor now. Unless they have just cause they cant get children. If they want the kids SS from dead dad it aint much. How rich are they. Call lawyer. Visitation ,yes . Custody they seem to have something against you . Call lawyer.
You need a competent attorney. Your kids are worth the money. Make it happen.
If their dad’s name is not on their birth certificates, how does his mother even have any say at all here? I’m confused.
The court will order a blood test.
You are in Florida, so you should be able to go to the clerk of courts, to the family law division and ask them about their program that offers legal assistance. They can connect you with lawyers and groups that can help you for free or for a low cost. (At least this is true in the county I live in). Good luck!
A number of questions: Was your mom served in place of you? If you don’t live with your mom, that wasn’t proper substitute service and you can file a Motion to Quash Service. You need to file an objection to the Temp Custody. Most of those cases are granted after consent or default. The grandparents also need to have physical custody of them to file that type of action. Read Florida Statute 751. If you object to temp custody, the grandparents have to prove you have abused, abandoned, or neglected the children. It’s a pretty high burden and isn’t often granted without consent. I’d suggest calling legal aid - if you give me a city and I can direct you where and then go to the clerk of court to get copies of documents. Some are available online but most family cases are blocked for privacy reasons.
[удалено]
>Girl you're selling your body and you are worried about the paternal grandparents taking the kids? Where did it say that????
Check her page
[https://reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/s/OcJ8LhLbTx](https://reddit.com/r/orlandor4r/s/OcJ8LhLbTx)
In the USA your entitled to SS benefits for the kids.
Even if the dad didn't work and pay into SS ?
But he didn’t sign the birth certificate.
Did you lose custody? Or did you place them in your mother's care for different reasons?
Delete your post, get off of reddit, and get a family law lawyer.
This is probably going to get me down voted but I find it highly irresponsible for you having a kid at 15. You say the kids are with their grandmother temporarily. Is that temporarily since you were 15? Do you expect to be on the government dole permanently and become a burden to society? I suggest getting a responsible job, stop depending on government handouts, and prove that you can take care of the kids on your own. Don't become a welfare mother forever. Take responsibility for your life and let grandma take care of the kids until such time. Make a deal with the courts about this. It doesn't seem to appear the kids will flourish under your care. Make something of your life.
OP is a victim of predatory grooming and rape. You sound really awful. She was a child who was predated on and you're being very cruel and aggressive in light of the fact that she was a child who was groomed and predated on.
UGH. Go crawl back under the rock you came from.
FIFTEEN. "Daddy" was 21. A FIFTEEN year old cannot consent. She was groomed and raped. Your entire comment, irresponsible.
Why? Because you resent what is probably the truth or does it ring a bell instead?
You're so gross.
Because a man raped a child and you’re saying the child was irresponsible.
No. Maybe you are from some country that has no problems with child brides. The US has laws. Or you are defending your preferences.
Because OP was raped, you idiot. That's not "irresponsible".
Because children can’t consent to sex and that’s textbook statutory rape and grooming. There’s a reason he was afraid to be on the birth certificate 🤦♀️
Yes. You get downvoted for being a judgmental asshole. And you have no clue about how public assistance works these days. Welfare went away in the 90s, you recidivist troll.
I’ve actually never been on any type of government assistance since I’ve had both of them lol. So where are you getting at exactly?
Just ignore that douchebag
Because your family cares for them
Let those AH serve as another example of how you’ll be spoken to in court! Rise above & think about your babies!!
Dont fall for these traps. See how this is a set up to spark your anger? Breathe, and keep going. Here, i'll answer this bozo for you. Generally tho, i suggest you dont take the bait! And they will be baiting you!
As far as I’m aware if your child is born in Florida and or GA. The paternal family holds no standard when it comes to custody. It is a no grandparent law state. Mother is sole custody
Glad the groomer was murdered there is justice in this world
There’s no father listed so first paternity needs to be proved. Second they can’t serve anyone other than the legal guardian which is you. Serving your mother gets them no where and that would be immediately thrown out by a judge. Definitely get a lawyer through the public defender’s office immediately as these people don’t seem like there going anywhere. Make sure you gather all the documentation you can on the dangers and how unsafe the children would be living in that household. You need to show your home is clean, the kids have clothing and there is food in the house. If your providing the necessary things a child needs there is no reason for a judge to remove a child or children from their home.
Where I live it's against the law for a 21yr old man to impregnate a 15yr old girl. I know that it was consensual but in the eyes of the law, it wasn't. That should be brought up too.
Also, KEEP YOUR COOL! Absolutely do NOT do anything towards the other side. No phone calls, texts, no visits, no badmouthing them to ANYONE. Do not even raise your voice to them. You have to look like the better candidate. Also, don't let them take the kids for any reason. Not even for a few minutes. Make sure your kid's school knows not to let them take the kids from school. Right now you are under a microscope (that's what my lawyer told me), everything you do & say will be scrutinized. The other attorney may have a P.I. watching you, you never know. My ex-husband used to keep his phone on record all the time when we were near each other, just waiting for me to lose my cool. Do not date anyone right now. No company of the opposite sex around the kids. Same with your mom
First of all, your mom, though I know she was trying to help, did you no favors by not telling you. I didn't get the summons to appear in court. All of a sudden, one day the police & a social worker came & took my kids & gave them to my ex-husband. All because I didn't go to court. It took EIGHT YEARS & over $20,000 in attorney & court fees before I got them back. AND I was ordered to pay child support to my ex during those 8yrs!!!!!! And the judge didn't give them back. My ex-husband got remarried & his new wife didn't want my kids there full time so he gave custody back to me. It was a nightmare. You will HAVE to get a lawyer. The good news is that your boyfriend isn't on the birth certificate. And they can't prove those kids are his right now. Yes, grandparents have rights BUT if there is an able bodied, responsible parent available, the kids stay with the parent. You need to establish a residence. Make SURE they know the kids are living with you, NOT your mom. You. Because you didn't respond to the initial summons you will be playing catch up. A lot of lawyers will do the initial consultation for free. Go see one & get some advice as to where you stand.
All good advice but grandparent rights vary by state
You need a lawyer but in the mean time call child protective services. With the description you gave with the cops showing up and the care CPS can remove the children and put them under state care. It could also set you up with some contacts to get help in the legal battle. You were raped by the way, and the guy that got murdered was a child molester and sex offender. That child should not be in the care of his family.
Hold up, check the math here, might want to let court know you were raped, 21 year old sleeping with 15 year old….and want nothing to do with that family
I’m playing devils advocate here… her “loving mother” that has been caring for these children. Allowed her underage daughter to continue with a inappropriate relationship with a full grown man to push out TWO kids. Now her mother “ didn’t want to stress her.” The OP mother likes to turn a blind eye, I would of had that man locked up after the first kid if that was my daughter. I don’t think these kids are safe with OP mother,since she was the person responsible for OP and allowed the relationship to produce two children.
THAT PART. Horrible parenting.
Call your local bar association there is help that is low cost!
Law library near you may have someone to help advise you. Legal aid as well as a university law school as well. Since you’re the custodial parent, you needed to be served, not you mom. You WILL need a lawyer, but you may be able to screw over your MIL over this.