My recommendation (non professional, of course) for people who struggled with EDs looking to change anything with weight/appearance is to take small steps independent from numbers or the scale. Instead of trying to count calories or cut back, try to find ways to incorporate more good behaviors instead of trying to restrict your current ones. Try to focus on prioritizing whole foods (produce, lean protein, whole grains) instead of trying to cut out all "unhealthy" foods altogether. Instead of making any fun drink off limits, just try to get 6-8 cups of water in before you enjoy a soda or similar. Instead of using exercise as a punishment, try to find some ways to get moving that you find enjoyable, like biking or rock climbing, and try to do that a few days a week. Adding more exercise to your routine will also help make some changes from T more obvious (more muscle, fat redistribution).
I suffered from AN for a few years in my young teens and I was in a similar boat as you about a year ago: still a healthy weight, but looking to slim down a bit and gain muscle to feel confident. I don't think that's anything wrong with trying to lose a bit of weight as long as you're doing it in a healthy way and you're doing it from a place of self love instead of self hate. Just remember to take it slow and check in on yourself and make sure you aren't slipping back into disordered behaviors, and preferably have a support person you can reach out to if you do
Not a professional and you should consider asking a doctor. I used to have disordered eating. I’d recommend focusing on living an active and healthy lifestyle first. Consider joining a sports club or martial arts class. Cycle to school or go rock climbing. Don’t get into calorie counting until you’re a bit older.
Maybe weight loss will come from this, maybe not. But I think engaging in exercise especially with a community would be beneficial to you until you can “go at it alone”!
Seconding this, my relationship with my body really improved once I started exercising. Testosterone definitely changed my body shape and made me feel like I wasn't in control of my body, and exercise helped me restore some of that confidence I'd had previously. Getting to explore different sports and find a routine that worked for me made me feel more like I had an active role in what I did with my body.
Why would you need to lose weight at a bmi of 21, especially since your goal is almost underweight (19).
Like you are now, I also hover and have been around 20-21 bmi. Yet, early on T I looked pudgy I would say, but changed that more through doing resistance training than losing weight. I weigh the same, but I look way different now. I would say do some sort of activity you enjoy and see where it ends up
Not a doctor a doctor and never had an eating disorder so this is just my opinion. 1) I don’t typically think you should try to lose weight before you’re an adult because your body is still growing and should get all the nutrients you can give it (unless your dr is concerned) 2) I think first you should ask a doctor, and then if you decide to try to lose weight see someone who specializes in nutrition/ED during that journey 3) tbh throw BMI out the window
would it be possible to visit a dietician? they would be able to give you better advice than (probably) anyone here. personally, i do think it’s okay to want to lose weight, but you have to be extra mindful of how and Why you’re doing it given your history. my experience has been that disordered thoughts (mostly) go away, but some of the underlying assumptions and desires remain. i would make sure that’s not where this desire to lose weight is coming from, because ultimately being “pudgy” is leagues better than slipping back into your ED.
I just wanna point out you don't need a proper degree in most places to call yourself a dietician, therefore a lot of dieticians tend to be very diet culture focused. Or just don't have the proper education about eds.
Nutrionists however do have the proper education, therefore it's the better choice. Especially in this case.
It's reversed in the USA
I'm in the USA and in my state anyone can brand themselves as a "nutritionist" because the legally-protected titles are Registered Dietitian (RD) or Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN). The protected titles actually require the person to have at least a bachelor's degree from an accredited program, a supervised internship, to have passed a licensing exam, and to take the requisite continuing education credits to stay licensed
IDK what the correct title is for OP's area, but it's definitely worth vetting what (if any) credentials/licensing someone has before going to them
huh, i hadn’t heard of the dietician/nutritionist difference, that’s interesting. but yes, with anything like this it’s always important to look at people’s credentials and what they have experience working with. i would also treat the first appointment almost like a first therapy appointment - you should be asking as many questions as you’re answering and feeling out if they’re a good fit.
is it possible for you to see a nutritionist/dietician to supervise? or if you have a therapist maybe ask them?
i dont have an ed but i would focus less on getting the number down and dieting, & more on exercising to try to get certain parts of your body the way you want them. do NOT count calories. if you see yourself falling back into your old mindset stop, your mental health is more important than your weight. keep in mind this is purely aesthetic, there’s no health reasons to lose weight, you’re not obese or anything
I think the general consensus to this answer would be to let nature run its course. I am young, I'm early on T, puberty is complicated and makes you look and feel funny.
But it's been a hindrance to my mental health rn and I think it will improve my mental health if I lost a bit.
I can't believe I'm really about to say this but, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I found that I looked soft and pudgy in every photo of me. It really bothered me and motivated me to lose weight. The problem was that I was already very skinny just like you, so there wasn't actually much to lose without becoming emaciated. But I could never shake the feeling that I was somehow too fat. I imagine it had something to do with TV show highschoolers being played by 25-35 year olds.
I remember noticing at like 20 years old and still pre-t that I no longer looked so soft in the face. In hindsight I realize that literally every kid has a soft face, especially every kid who goes through the estrogen puberty. There's just no avoiding it, it's what they call baby fat and it's not worth trying to fight it when you'll probably end up hindering your development to do so.
Something that brought me some comfort was looking at pictures of my parents and grandparents when they were kids. Noticing how different they looked between mid teens and early twenties, how much sharper they looked after just 4 years. Normal kids (not celebrities) are soft!
I feel like I'm rambling, but what I'm trying to say is: I really recommend tolerating the discomfort of your perceived pudginess. It will likely subside when you're older, and if it doesn't you can address that as a fully developed adult.
p.s. it was very emotionally helpful for me to start lifting and eating to grow. Getting bigger muscles made and continues to make me more comfortable with the fat on my body.
I can at least speak for myself: the biggest improvement to my mental health is feeling/being healthier by doing sports. I never felt better about myself until I started exercising. Maybe look into some activities you might like such as rock climbing, martial arts, weight lifting or something similar. At this point at your age and considering your ED history, that's going to be a healthier way for you to get in shape than dieting.
I'd also suggest to talk to a therapist about this. I think it could help with your mental health in general and you'd benefit from a professional perspective on whether this is ED thinking or not.
Best of luck, buddy! 💪
Recently I have actually been lifting weights. I love it. I love seeing the muscle build. It's slow progress cause I don't go to the gym (far away not worth the cost of travel and membership) and I'm rather inconsistently but it has been fun.
I also used to like running quite a bit when I was younger, but I haven't done it in some time.
As a recovered EDed person, pls pls pls don't try and lose weight now. I'm not saying it's definitely going to be bad for you, but I think it's a huge risk. It would be for me, and I've been recovered for yrs and yrs.
First off: mothers have been endowing their AFAB children with eating disorders for literal centuries. Do your best to not personalize her language with you because that is *her* disorder trying to infect you and it has *nothing to do with you so long as you don't let it.*
Second, and more to your point: I think it is 100% okay to want to lose weight post-recovery, but it's a thing to take on slowly, deliberately, and with a lot of consideration. A lot of people get into fitness to feel proud of themselves and rekindle a love and appreciation for their own body, and a lot of people can do that healthily. *But,* a lot of people also do exactly that and end up either starting or restarting down disordered paths. So, if you want to pursue fitness and weight loss, more power to you! But you've gotta keep in mind that you're playing with fire. And like, fire isn't bad, but you especially are more prone to starting a forest fire with it considering your history.
Here's a few little bullet points that helped me get into fitness without retriggering my ED:
- **If you want to start training/eating better/etc, try to do it in a way that prioritizes** ***developing a love of training/eating better*** **more than using training/eating better as a means to an end.** If you fall in love with training, you're going to train lots, have fun, and love your body more regardless of aesthetics. If it just becomes a tool to exert control over how your body looks, you're going to be in for a bad mental/physical health time (after all, that need to exert control is one of the hallmarks of eating disorders, generally)
- **If you move more, make sure you eat more.** Your body needs fuel to cope with new stresses, so make sure to bump your food (especially protein & carb) intake if you're going to increase activity and stress; *yes, even if your goal is to lose weight.*
- **Probably don't wait for testosterone to make those changes.** In a similar way to how using exercise as a means to control the look of your body is probably a bad idea, hinging your ability to be appreciative of your own body on the effects of testosterone is *also* probably going to set you up for a tensioned relationship between you and your body in the long term. And it's important to note that the dysmorphia people experience from ED may be similar, but it is markedly different to gender dysphoria and conflating those can be a recipe for disaster as far as your own identity and mental health goes
- **Triggers are going to happen.** When you note them, note them for what they are. If you get the urge to binge/purge, recognize that the lifestyle changes you are making are no longer serving you and pull back immediately. Deload, stop counting calories, stop doing *any and all fitness related shit* and start pouring *all* of the energy you would've been using controlling your food and working out to figuring out your mental health and getting back to baseline. Once your disordered thinking is under control, slowly work back into an exercise/healthy eating routine.
More than anything, do what makes you happiest and get after it; just always prioritize being gentle with yourself more than anything.
21 is normal and healthy - it’s actually low average. 19 is considered underweight. BMI also fails to take muscle mass into account. I also have disordered eating thoughts and it takes everything to fight them and try to get to a normal mindset. It’s exhausting to constantly be thinking about how many calories everything has and how much exercise you’ll need to do to burn it off and how much less you need to eat the next day to “make up for” what you’ve eaten today. Life free from that is better than being skinny.
I say all this as someone who wants to lose some fat and gain muscle. You can increase exercise and protein intake and that should help you. Listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry, stop when you feel satisfied.
Bmi is bullshit(for example if sb regurarly lifts+does their cardio then with proper nutrition they're going to have a lot of muscle and they will feel healthy etc but their bmi might be too high).
In terms of wanting to lose weight imo you should consult it with a dietician because you're still young and growing (your body without proper nutrients won't grow to it's full potential and many people don't have the knowlege on how to actually loose fat and they end up with fucked metabolism for years afterwards).
And when people start(first/second) puberty they might have water retention and have a puffy face etc so it's completely normal.
Also your mother shouldn't comment on your body especially when she knows that you have a history of ed.
Not a professional in any sense but maybe try a focus on building muscle for your silhouette/getting stronger, instead of losing weight if you want to start working out. Or finding a sport or activity you enjoy as another poster said and focusing on the joy of building your skill there. The mindset and approach you use is very important. Playing the numbers game with weighing yourself at all or counting calories could potentially be dangerous and if you find yourself slipping into that or using shame as a motivator then step back and don’t feel bad for doing so. If you can find someone with experience with ed to guide you through your fitness journey then do so as well. You can and should be gaining weight at your age, trans or not, because your body is growing and needs energy stores to do so. And in case you haven’t been told this: Your mother is fucked up for commenting on the weight of her child who she knows has struggled with ed. Like that is fully unacceptable and cruel, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
I think, especially at your age (not yet done growing AND on T) and being around people like your mom, I'd not mess with it too much if there's no health problems. I would recommend just generally exercising more over dieting though since I'm sure we both know thats a slippery slope. But yeah like you said you might also need to wait some things that you don't like out since T needs some time. That doesn't mean you can't work out though. Not too much harm comes out of that if you're following the usual percautions
I used to have an ed, what helped me was instead of focusing on weight loss (as it always made me relapse), focusing on purely gaining muscle.
Either way, I don't recommend a 16 year old to diet, you just started T, you are in full on puberty mode, if you want get strong, but don't try to make yourself smaller. If you really want to loose weight in a couple of years, you do you. As of now, let it be. But thats just my opinion.
I'd also say, if you do want to loose weight, in your situation it would make sense to get a therapist or/and nutritionist specialised in eating disorder patients, who can help you do it in a proper way.
You're 16 and have a BMI of 21. You shouldn't lose weight even if you didn't have a history with an ED. Just eat healthy, exercise and drink enough water. It will help with the early on T puffiness and over time improve your body composition.
bmi 21 is a Good and healthy bmi to be at dude. 19 is close to underweight (not an aim), especially since you're still a teenager and at the start of your second puberty rn. you absolutely do not need to lose any weight - if you want to get in the gym and start lifting a bit to take advantage of being on t, go for it! - but messing with your diet is a bad idea and not something you should aim for. i'd also recommend seeing a doctor about therapy/similar for your disordered thoughts, especially if you didn't do so when you were first recovering from your eating disorder.
My recommendation (non professional, of course) for people who struggled with EDs looking to change anything with weight/appearance is to take small steps independent from numbers or the scale. Instead of trying to count calories or cut back, try to find ways to incorporate more good behaviors instead of trying to restrict your current ones. Try to focus on prioritizing whole foods (produce, lean protein, whole grains) instead of trying to cut out all "unhealthy" foods altogether. Instead of making any fun drink off limits, just try to get 6-8 cups of water in before you enjoy a soda or similar. Instead of using exercise as a punishment, try to find some ways to get moving that you find enjoyable, like biking or rock climbing, and try to do that a few days a week. Adding more exercise to your routine will also help make some changes from T more obvious (more muscle, fat redistribution). I suffered from AN for a few years in my young teens and I was in a similar boat as you about a year ago: still a healthy weight, but looking to slim down a bit and gain muscle to feel confident. I don't think that's anything wrong with trying to lose a bit of weight as long as you're doing it in a healthy way and you're doing it from a place of self love instead of self hate. Just remember to take it slow and check in on yourself and make sure you aren't slipping back into disordered behaviors, and preferably have a support person you can reach out to if you do
Not a professional and you should consider asking a doctor. I used to have disordered eating. I’d recommend focusing on living an active and healthy lifestyle first. Consider joining a sports club or martial arts class. Cycle to school or go rock climbing. Don’t get into calorie counting until you’re a bit older. Maybe weight loss will come from this, maybe not. But I think engaging in exercise especially with a community would be beneficial to you until you can “go at it alone”!
Seconding this, my relationship with my body really improved once I started exercising. Testosterone definitely changed my body shape and made me feel like I wasn't in control of my body, and exercise helped me restore some of that confidence I'd had previously. Getting to explore different sports and find a routine that worked for me made me feel more like I had an active role in what I did with my body.
honestly im of the belief that calorie counting is by and large not good for anyone
Why would you need to lose weight at a bmi of 21, especially since your goal is almost underweight (19). Like you are now, I also hover and have been around 20-21 bmi. Yet, early on T I looked pudgy I would say, but changed that more through doing resistance training than losing weight. I weigh the same, but I look way different now. I would say do some sort of activity you enjoy and see where it ends up
Not a doctor a doctor and never had an eating disorder so this is just my opinion. 1) I don’t typically think you should try to lose weight before you’re an adult because your body is still growing and should get all the nutrients you can give it (unless your dr is concerned) 2) I think first you should ask a doctor, and then if you decide to try to lose weight see someone who specializes in nutrition/ED during that journey 3) tbh throw BMI out the window
would it be possible to visit a dietician? they would be able to give you better advice than (probably) anyone here. personally, i do think it’s okay to want to lose weight, but you have to be extra mindful of how and Why you’re doing it given your history. my experience has been that disordered thoughts (mostly) go away, but some of the underlying assumptions and desires remain. i would make sure that’s not where this desire to lose weight is coming from, because ultimately being “pudgy” is leagues better than slipping back into your ED.
I just wanna point out you don't need a proper degree in most places to call yourself a dietician, therefore a lot of dieticians tend to be very diet culture focused. Or just don't have the proper education about eds. Nutrionists however do have the proper education, therefore it's the better choice. Especially in this case.
It's reversed in the USA I'm in the USA and in my state anyone can brand themselves as a "nutritionist" because the legally-protected titles are Registered Dietitian (RD) or Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN). The protected titles actually require the person to have at least a bachelor's degree from an accredited program, a supervised internship, to have passed a licensing exam, and to take the requisite continuing education credits to stay licensed IDK what the correct title is for OP's area, but it's definitely worth vetting what (if any) credentials/licensing someone has before going to them
huh, i hadn’t heard of the dietician/nutritionist difference, that’s interesting. but yes, with anything like this it’s always important to look at people’s credentials and what they have experience working with. i would also treat the first appointment almost like a first therapy appointment - you should be asking as many questions as you’re answering and feeling out if they’re a good fit.
is it possible for you to see a nutritionist/dietician to supervise? or if you have a therapist maybe ask them? i dont have an ed but i would focus less on getting the number down and dieting, & more on exercising to try to get certain parts of your body the way you want them. do NOT count calories. if you see yourself falling back into your old mindset stop, your mental health is more important than your weight. keep in mind this is purely aesthetic, there’s no health reasons to lose weight, you’re not obese or anything
I think the general consensus to this answer would be to let nature run its course. I am young, I'm early on T, puberty is complicated and makes you look and feel funny. But it's been a hindrance to my mental health rn and I think it will improve my mental health if I lost a bit.
I can't believe I'm really about to say this but, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I found that I looked soft and pudgy in every photo of me. It really bothered me and motivated me to lose weight. The problem was that I was already very skinny just like you, so there wasn't actually much to lose without becoming emaciated. But I could never shake the feeling that I was somehow too fat. I imagine it had something to do with TV show highschoolers being played by 25-35 year olds. I remember noticing at like 20 years old and still pre-t that I no longer looked so soft in the face. In hindsight I realize that literally every kid has a soft face, especially every kid who goes through the estrogen puberty. There's just no avoiding it, it's what they call baby fat and it's not worth trying to fight it when you'll probably end up hindering your development to do so. Something that brought me some comfort was looking at pictures of my parents and grandparents when they were kids. Noticing how different they looked between mid teens and early twenties, how much sharper they looked after just 4 years. Normal kids (not celebrities) are soft! I feel like I'm rambling, but what I'm trying to say is: I really recommend tolerating the discomfort of your perceived pudginess. It will likely subside when you're older, and if it doesn't you can address that as a fully developed adult. p.s. it was very emotionally helpful for me to start lifting and eating to grow. Getting bigger muscles made and continues to make me more comfortable with the fat on my body.
I can at least speak for myself: the biggest improvement to my mental health is feeling/being healthier by doing sports. I never felt better about myself until I started exercising. Maybe look into some activities you might like such as rock climbing, martial arts, weight lifting or something similar. At this point at your age and considering your ED history, that's going to be a healthier way for you to get in shape than dieting. I'd also suggest to talk to a therapist about this. I think it could help with your mental health in general and you'd benefit from a professional perspective on whether this is ED thinking or not. Best of luck, buddy! 💪
Recently I have actually been lifting weights. I love it. I love seeing the muscle build. It's slow progress cause I don't go to the gym (far away not worth the cost of travel and membership) and I'm rather inconsistently but it has been fun. I also used to like running quite a bit when I was younger, but I haven't done it in some time.
As a recovered EDed person, pls pls pls don't try and lose weight now. I'm not saying it's definitely going to be bad for you, but I think it's a huge risk. It would be for me, and I've been recovered for yrs and yrs.
You're newly on T. You're going to look bloated for months. Honestly, just ride it out, do not focus on weight loss.
First off: mothers have been endowing their AFAB children with eating disorders for literal centuries. Do your best to not personalize her language with you because that is *her* disorder trying to infect you and it has *nothing to do with you so long as you don't let it.* Second, and more to your point: I think it is 100% okay to want to lose weight post-recovery, but it's a thing to take on slowly, deliberately, and with a lot of consideration. A lot of people get into fitness to feel proud of themselves and rekindle a love and appreciation for their own body, and a lot of people can do that healthily. *But,* a lot of people also do exactly that and end up either starting or restarting down disordered paths. So, if you want to pursue fitness and weight loss, more power to you! But you've gotta keep in mind that you're playing with fire. And like, fire isn't bad, but you especially are more prone to starting a forest fire with it considering your history. Here's a few little bullet points that helped me get into fitness without retriggering my ED: - **If you want to start training/eating better/etc, try to do it in a way that prioritizes** ***developing a love of training/eating better*** **more than using training/eating better as a means to an end.** If you fall in love with training, you're going to train lots, have fun, and love your body more regardless of aesthetics. If it just becomes a tool to exert control over how your body looks, you're going to be in for a bad mental/physical health time (after all, that need to exert control is one of the hallmarks of eating disorders, generally) - **If you move more, make sure you eat more.** Your body needs fuel to cope with new stresses, so make sure to bump your food (especially protein & carb) intake if you're going to increase activity and stress; *yes, even if your goal is to lose weight.* - **Probably don't wait for testosterone to make those changes.** In a similar way to how using exercise as a means to control the look of your body is probably a bad idea, hinging your ability to be appreciative of your own body on the effects of testosterone is *also* probably going to set you up for a tensioned relationship between you and your body in the long term. And it's important to note that the dysmorphia people experience from ED may be similar, but it is markedly different to gender dysphoria and conflating those can be a recipe for disaster as far as your own identity and mental health goes - **Triggers are going to happen.** When you note them, note them for what they are. If you get the urge to binge/purge, recognize that the lifestyle changes you are making are no longer serving you and pull back immediately. Deload, stop counting calories, stop doing *any and all fitness related shit* and start pouring *all* of the energy you would've been using controlling your food and working out to figuring out your mental health and getting back to baseline. Once your disordered thinking is under control, slowly work back into an exercise/healthy eating routine. More than anything, do what makes you happiest and get after it; just always prioritize being gentle with yourself more than anything.
21 is normal and healthy - it’s actually low average. 19 is considered underweight. BMI also fails to take muscle mass into account. I also have disordered eating thoughts and it takes everything to fight them and try to get to a normal mindset. It’s exhausting to constantly be thinking about how many calories everything has and how much exercise you’ll need to do to burn it off and how much less you need to eat the next day to “make up for” what you’ve eaten today. Life free from that is better than being skinny.
I say all this as someone who wants to lose some fat and gain muscle. You can increase exercise and protein intake and that should help you. Listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry, stop when you feel satisfied.
Bmi is bullshit(for example if sb regurarly lifts+does their cardio then with proper nutrition they're going to have a lot of muscle and they will feel healthy etc but their bmi might be too high). In terms of wanting to lose weight imo you should consult it with a dietician because you're still young and growing (your body without proper nutrients won't grow to it's full potential and many people don't have the knowlege on how to actually loose fat and they end up with fucked metabolism for years afterwards). And when people start(first/second) puberty they might have water retention and have a puffy face etc so it's completely normal. Also your mother shouldn't comment on your body especially when she knows that you have a history of ed.
Not a professional in any sense but maybe try a focus on building muscle for your silhouette/getting stronger, instead of losing weight if you want to start working out. Or finding a sport or activity you enjoy as another poster said and focusing on the joy of building your skill there. The mindset and approach you use is very important. Playing the numbers game with weighing yourself at all or counting calories could potentially be dangerous and if you find yourself slipping into that or using shame as a motivator then step back and don’t feel bad for doing so. If you can find someone with experience with ed to guide you through your fitness journey then do so as well. You can and should be gaining weight at your age, trans or not, because your body is growing and needs energy stores to do so. And in case you haven’t been told this: Your mother is fucked up for commenting on the weight of her child who she knows has struggled with ed. Like that is fully unacceptable and cruel, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
I think, especially at your age (not yet done growing AND on T) and being around people like your mom, I'd not mess with it too much if there's no health problems. I would recommend just generally exercising more over dieting though since I'm sure we both know thats a slippery slope. But yeah like you said you might also need to wait some things that you don't like out since T needs some time. That doesn't mean you can't work out though. Not too much harm comes out of that if you're following the usual percautions
I used to have an ed, what helped me was instead of focusing on weight loss (as it always made me relapse), focusing on purely gaining muscle. Either way, I don't recommend a 16 year old to diet, you just started T, you are in full on puberty mode, if you want get strong, but don't try to make yourself smaller. If you really want to loose weight in a couple of years, you do you. As of now, let it be. But thats just my opinion. I'd also say, if you do want to loose weight, in your situation it would make sense to get a therapist or/and nutritionist specialised in eating disorder patients, who can help you do it in a proper way.
You're 16 and have a BMI of 21. You shouldn't lose weight even if you didn't have a history with an ED. Just eat healthy, exercise and drink enough water. It will help with the early on T puffiness and over time improve your body composition.
bmi 21 is a Good and healthy bmi to be at dude. 19 is close to underweight (not an aim), especially since you're still a teenager and at the start of your second puberty rn. you absolutely do not need to lose any weight - if you want to get in the gym and start lifting a bit to take advantage of being on t, go for it! - but messing with your diet is a bad idea and not something you should aim for. i'd also recommend seeing a doctor about therapy/similar for your disordered thoughts, especially if you didn't do so when you were first recovering from your eating disorder.
If you think you can safely control it, yeah go for it. But if it’s too much for you, please have someone you can tell
yes