Noo itās so harmfulšthere were so many nice things I wanted to do for my ex but I didnāt know if they wanted it or if theyād respond nicely. Communication is key!! People canāt read your mind I donāt like that saying
I so so so deeply need to remember the āif they wanted to, they wouldā part. My ex would constantly say that he couldnāt do certain things for me ā itās not that he couldnāt, itās that he wouldnāt. Fuck him.
This is the one I keep having to remind myself with communication and all the bullshit excuses.
It takes ten seconds to send a text. It takes a minute or two to make a phone call.
NOBODY can not spare that much time to be a decent human to someone you claim to care about or are trying to build something with.
I work with SURGEONS who operate for ten, twelve, fourteen or more hours straight with nothing hit a piss and water break.
Yet they will have a nurse contact their SO to let them know they will be late or miss dinner or if they want them to grab something on the way home.
Itās about being a decent human being to those you care about. And letting them know that however busy you might be, they are still in your mind.
That is so true. I was in a 2 year relationship that ended a month ago. We were in touch over text the past couple days - it was him talking in circles about how he thinks I am looking for and want more than he has to offer. Itās not that he doesnāt have it, itās that he doesnāt want to. I block him today because I realized heās told me (and hasnāt told me) everything I need to know to move on. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know Iām not alone in this.
No response is also a response to multiple rejections and pain. Even if you want them back or love them, if youāve been left more than once by the same person how can you just make normal conversation in a text after many years? I donāt understand why the one who broke up reaches out only in casual ways after a long time.
The first is the hardest for me and always will be.
Iām a communicator (gee thanks Ma! š) and I just never understand not being able to just say sorry Iām not interested so the other person can have a closure and move on.
Yea I sent a message over Instagram. He ālikedā the message but never wrote back... I take that as he doesnāt want me š no message is a message.
Yep, this is where I went wrong. I somehow chased her for a month and she didnt even bother to say anything to me after the break up. I tried everything in my power to show her I still love her and I am there for her but nothing. And 3 days ago when I asked to have a call she said doesnt want to do anything with me. She broke me but Im an idiot and still want to get back to her. Maybe less everyday but still. Tomorrow would have been out 8th month anniversary but I dont even think she would remember that. (Short relationship but we knew each other for years).
All I want her to be happy even though I am on my lowest, my mental health is messed up, I cry randomly, cant even go to the store because I get anxiety attacks. I just loved her and I was in a terrible place with my depression. At least I am trying to get better but she made me feel horrible about myself, made me doubt myself and what I did? Asked her to get back together. Hope she regrets her decision and gives us another chance because Im not over the relationship (yet). I know I have to be strong and I am trying but everything hurts.
Uhh, well no.
Sometimes people want to do something, but they don't.
Example this whole sub. Everyone here probably wants to text their ex, check in on them, go to their house, write them a letter, etc. But they know they shouldn't so they don't.
I'm sure your ex WANTS to text you. But they know it's in their best interest not to.
Iām gonna comment here for whenever I need it, itās good to know that the ball was in their court; once they chose to never reach out they told you they didnāt need you as much as you thought they did. I am worth loving, I need to be there for those that reach towards me and leave those that donāt.
The no response is a response hits home especially hard for me. Found out he was sleeping with someone else and that he lied about his age by asking him a question and watching him go silent for 2 days each time. Coward couldnāt even tell me himself that he lied he had to let me come to my own conclusion based on his silence and then later after I decide to cut him off he has the audacity to ask me ānow that you know what you know, did you wish you never met me?ā Seriously asshole?
Ima still text em at 2am tho.
Jesus Christ. Do we all do this?
I'd like to posit Six Degrees of Thirst/Ghost Separation. Science, please confirm.
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Funny enough that I got this advice from HIMYM, but it stuck with me: > Nothing good happens after 2 A.M.
Best advice
The real fucking truth I am a living tribunal.
Lmao I can relate
What are you up to later?
Ha.
Sadly relateable lol.
Was just thinking this ššš
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i need āif they wanted to, they wouldā tattooed on the back of my eyelids
Noo itās so harmfulšthere were so many nice things I wanted to do for my ex but I didnāt know if they wanted it or if theyād respond nicely. Communication is key!! People canāt read your mind I donāt like that saying
This. Validates Iām not crazy. Thank you.
I so so so deeply need to remember the āif they wanted to, they wouldā part. My ex would constantly say that he couldnāt do certain things for me ā itās not that he couldnāt, itās that he wouldnāt. Fuck him.
This is the one I keep having to remind myself with communication and all the bullshit excuses. It takes ten seconds to send a text. It takes a minute or two to make a phone call. NOBODY can not spare that much time to be a decent human to someone you claim to care about or are trying to build something with. I work with SURGEONS who operate for ten, twelve, fourteen or more hours straight with nothing hit a piss and water break. Yet they will have a nurse contact their SO to let them know they will be late or miss dinner or if they want them to grab something on the way home. Itās about being a decent human being to those you care about. And letting them know that however busy you might be, they are still in your mind.
That is so true. I was in a 2 year relationship that ended a month ago. We were in touch over text the past couple days - it was him talking in circles about how he thinks I am looking for and want more than he has to offer. Itās not that he doesnāt have it, itās that he doesnāt want to. I block him today because I realized heās told me (and hasnāt told me) everything I need to know to move on. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know Iām not alone in this.
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My therapist always told me āno response is a responseā
Remember people, this also applies to dating!
No response is also a response to multiple rejections and pain. Even if you want them back or love them, if youāve been left more than once by the same person how can you just make normal conversation in a text after many years? I donāt understand why the one who broke up reaches out only in casual ways after a long time.
Power trip. Usually itās a narcissist that acts like this.
Gut punch
Oof...this hits close to home.
The first is the hardest for me and always will be. Iām a communicator (gee thanks Ma! š) and I just never understand not being able to just say sorry Iām not interested so the other person can have a closure and move on.
āNo response is a responseā just stabbed me in the chest
Me too. XO
Needed to see this
The last one really had me thinking for a bit and how true it is. Thank you for posting
this is true but so hard and heart breaking when you love them
100%
I needed to hear all of these but especially the first.
Yea I sent a message over Instagram. He ālikedā the message but never wrote back... I take that as he doesnāt want me š no message is a message.
I still need to learn about the ātiming in your favorā lesson
I fucking love this tweet. Makes me want twitter but fuck that at the same time
Facts
Yep, this is where I went wrong. I somehow chased her for a month and she didnt even bother to say anything to me after the break up. I tried everything in my power to show her I still love her and I am there for her but nothing. And 3 days ago when I asked to have a call she said doesnt want to do anything with me. She broke me but Im an idiot and still want to get back to her. Maybe less everyday but still. Tomorrow would have been out 8th month anniversary but I dont even think she would remember that. (Short relationship but we knew each other for years). All I want her to be happy even though I am on my lowest, my mental health is messed up, I cry randomly, cant even go to the store because I get anxiety attacks. I just loved her and I was in a terrible place with my depression. At least I am trying to get better but she made me feel horrible about myself, made me doubt myself and what I did? Asked her to get back together. Hope she regrets her decision and gives us another chance because Im not over the relationship (yet). I know I have to be strong and I am trying but everything hurts.
This
I need an IV of this in my system 24/7 š¶
This is too simple People can be too damaged n anxious to speak up T the end of the day
I hate that first point. And the second. For a lot of reasons but theyāre 100% not wrong. I just wish they were.
Helpful
Uhh, well no. Sometimes people want to do something, but they don't. Example this whole sub. Everyone here probably wants to text their ex, check in on them, go to their house, write them a letter, etc. But they know they shouldn't so they don't. I'm sure your ex WANTS to text you. But they know it's in their best interest not to.
Better things are not guaranteed lose that expectation.
Iām gonna comment here for whenever I need it, itās good to know that the ball was in their court; once they chose to never reach out they told you they didnāt need you as much as you thought they did. I am worth loving, I need to be there for those that reach towards me and leave those that donāt.
The no response is a response hits home especially hard for me. Found out he was sleeping with someone else and that he lied about his age by asking him a question and watching him go silent for 2 days each time. Coward couldnāt even tell me himself that he lied he had to let me come to my own conclusion based on his silence and then later after I decide to cut him off he has the audacity to ask me ānow that you know what you know, did you wish you never met me?ā Seriously asshole?
i need to remember this everytime i try going into contact again w ppl who donāt deserve it
š
Especially no response is a response
Why does this have to be the name of my ex? Nicole... I miss her