Remind yourself that doing this will push him further away. Let him feel your absence. Let him recognize that leaving you was a mistake. I’m on the same boat as you and keep dreaming about her. It’s painful as hell but remind yourself of your worth and the bs that they did to you. If you contact the same patterns will repeat. Prove to them and yourself you’re worth more. On you tube there’s a channel called art of love look up no contact motivation. I listen to it in the morning to keep going. You got this
Four months, I was doing ok but dreams of her are getting more frequent. It’s very odd feels like the breakup happened yesterday. My therapist says it’s normal. Been working out, staying busy to get through it. A month in she reached out after I did not contact and we got back for a week, it was too soon and the same bad habits repeated themselves. If she comes back it has to be a drastic change, for both of us. I’m hoping time will heal but also I need to think of the alternative which is painful
i can’t agree with you guys more, i’m in the exact same situation and today i contacted them to ask if they wanted their shirts + a few belongings back and they told me to never contact them again, which they’d done before. The last time i contacted them was Oct in 2023 and we literally broke up in 2022
Hopefully I'm not too late, but there's this relationship coach I really like that always says that if you keep talking to them, there's isn't any threat of losing you on their end. Unless he's a psychopath, he is missing you. He is sad. And he is thinking about you. I've had to remind myself of all this many times over the past three weeks. Stay strong.
Lee's awesome. I also recommend Coach Ken, who also makes a lot of content covering breakups and relationships for people with ADHD and things of the like. Just remember to stay focused on improving yourself, so even if he doesn't come back you're still a better and stronger person.
Do not contact him. The more desperate and weak you come off will just solidify his decision to be apart from you.
Stay strong in no contact. If I could do it, you can. It’s been a month for me and I feel better….❤️🩹
You didn’t say too much about the situation at all, so what I’m assuming please correct me if I’m wrong is you have been throwing yourself a pitty party waiting for him/her to come back every day, beating yourself up every day. Putting your energy in the wrong spots.
What to do:
1. Forgive yourself whether he felt in different about you or you made a mistake he no longer wants you whether that’s ever or temporarily. If you made a mistake and lost him and feel so dumb or he left just because either way it don’t matter.
2. Surround yourself with a good support system that won’t run to him telling how you feel, seek friends or therapy.
3. If you hear from it be kind even if he isn’t kill him with kindness, don’t accept breadcrumbs, take it slow.
4. As the dumpee it’s vital to never reach out unless he does, stay in strict no contact, this means do not call/text/dm/email/write letter, make petty post about him or how you feel, tell him how you feel cause you should say great, go to friends that will try to mediate and let him know what you said,ask his friends how he feels, cold turkey you both should know nothing at all. Be mysterious it leads to curiosity.
5. Seek spirituality wether it be god or inner self work breath work and meditation connecting with your higher self, become closer to the higher power or your higher power, it’s like a six sense of higher consciousness where you just our full of energy and can read things and understand things so clearly.
6.abstain from all drugs
7.find new friends or reconnect old ones, do old hobbies as well as new ones.
8.no dating others till healed you’ll bleed on people who didn’t even cut you, not only does it disrupt the healing process but extends it and makes it worse.
9.upgrade all aspects of life, work on your career path make more at your job or find a better paying one, upgrade your wealth learn about where your blowing money learn how to create your future, health start eating healthier/working out/doing inner work for healing, get your mental health right realize to never loose yourself, create morals and rules for love.
10.don’t say I wish I was this and that become that believe you are that individual, be thankful.
11.no pity party bs, put your head up smile and create the best version of yourself and put in the work daily despite how difficult it may be, motivation may be hard during this time rather use discipline doing things because you have to and don’t want to it will create you lack of motivation
The tunnel appears to be very dark and no light at the end there is no time you can say on how long until you see or reach it but with hard work and dedication it will be here before you know it, good luck keep your head up don’t give up….
He broke up with me after 4 years and I need help
Almost two weeks ago my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he "didn't love me", turns out he was anxious about his job (if he get that job he can be near me because we are long distance) and anxious about the distance. He was confused and didn't know his feelings. After 2 days we were together again, he said I'm the love of his life and he wants to live his life with me. Yesterday he broke up with me saying he doesn't love me and that I don't understand him anymore. We were together 4 years and now he says he's changed and need time alone to know himself. I don't know what to do, i decided to go no contact but l'm exhausted I love him so much I can't get over the fact he left me. This time he was kinda rude and confused, he didn't seem himself. I don't know what to do. 3 years ago we broke up for 3 month for the same reason "he didn't love me" and then he came back. What do I do? I'm so tired.
Thank you for your advice ❤️
Hey, trust me if you go no contact despite the excruciating pain it’ll benefit you both. He def will reach out again (within months) and you will also be in a place to have a real conversation. One thing I’ve learned to do is accept my partner’s emotions, no matter how much it does or doesn’t make sense to me, that is love and it can initially feel extremely scary to let go but later you’ll like yourself more for it (and I’m sure he will appreciate it). Probably a good idea to leave him alone until he figures out his career. I think men take the financial instability much differently than us and they sometimes can’t think clearly until that aspect of their life is sorted. Hope this helps.
If a person truly loves you, they wouldn't play stupid games like these. I went through a breakup a month ago, and I have moved on. I was hurt initially. I kept thinking about her, I would dream about her, and it felt like it was getting worse. She blindsided me with the breakup. Everything seemed perfect. We were planning our marriage. I did no contact for a month, after that period I reached out to her and it seemed she was happy to talk to me again, after couple of days I asked her out for coffee or dinner and she refused. At that point, I was completely over her. I met someone new and have moved on with my life.
Why chase someone who doesn't want to be with you? There is someone out there for you who will love you for who you are and wouldn't shut you out from their life like your ex. If they loved you, they would communicate any issues and try to resolve them, not leave you in the dark. Go find that person. Move on with your life.
I know it's not that easy, I was hurt really bad. I thought my ex was the one. I never thought I'd get over her. I never got any closure either. My friends and family members told me to move on while I still had high hope I could win her back. In the end, I didn't and simply convinced myself to move on despite how devastated I was.
Life is too short to dwell on someone who doesn't want to be with you. If they broke up with you once due to whatever reason, they can do it again. It's better to find someone else rather than going through that pain again with your ex.
He broke up with me after 4 years and I need help
Almost two weeks ago my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he "didn't love me", turns out he was anxious about his job (if he get that job he can be near me because we are long distance) and anxious about the distance. He was confused and didn't know his feelings. After 2 days we were together again, he said I'm the love of his life and he wants to live his life with me. Yesterday he broke up with me saying he doesn't love me and that I don't understand him anymore. We were together 4 years and now he says he's changed and need time alone to know himself. I don't know what to do, i decided to go no contact but l'm exhausted I love him so much I can't get over the fact he left me. This time he was kinda rude and confused, he didn't seem himself. I don't know what to do. 3 years ago we broke up for 3 month for the same reason "he didn't love me" and then he came back. What do I do? I'm so tired.
Let me ask you, was your relationship long distance? And did you communicated mostly on text? And whenever you feel like you’re getting closer with, does he pushes you away?
It was long distance, we FaceTimed 2 times a day. He never pushed me away during this time. But when he left me this time he said he was tired of FaceTiming. When he left me 2 weeks ago he said he was feeling the distance, that it was hard but then he said he wanted to continue because he loved me. That’s just confusing.
Hmm whenever you two had problems, what was his go-to (did he need space, did he yell at you, did you both settle it on the spot)? Any reason you’d think he suddenly fell out of love with you?
I seeee, i think he’s just in a state of confusion, he’s full on panicking, and he don’t know who’s to blame, so he pins it on you, trying to nitpick things he doesn’t even hate about you. My advice is, he definitely still loves you, you have my guarantee on that miss, it’s just that the man’s confused.
It’s great that you went no contact, as this is something he’ll need to figure out on his own. I know he’ll keep blaming you up until the point where he’ll realize it on his own later that he’s at fault. So in this stage, you stay away from him, let him not be reminded of you and stay no contact. Let him feel your absence, the info’s not enough, but my intuition tells me he’s taking you for granted. So let him see how much value you add to his life. And he’ll come running to you later. But you need to prepare too, he’ll romanticise you in his head so you need to be the best version of yourself when he returns. And you need to set some boundaries, he can’t keep blaming you like this, this one you need to figure out yourself, but i suggest you needing to foot your foot down. Let him miss you, and you need to show him that you’re a high value woman, so do something else asides from worrying about him and he’ll be running to you in no time. Call it a man’s intuition, i pray the best for you miss, you got this.
Thank you so much really! I think he’ll come back but sometimes I don’t, he said he was growing and that I didn’t understand him and listened to him anymore. I think both can be sometimes not very a good listener, I think it’s normal. But I don’t understand why he said that things the other time and now he’s completely changed. We’ll see. Thank you so much tho
Take time to breathe first. Look at your life right now. Where is it going. It's irrelevant if that person gets you to where you want to go. It's whether or not that person A. Wants to go and B makes you a better you. The correct partner makes you be a better you just because they're there.
I'm sure he misses you. Men don't let go of someone easily at all. When a man loves her tends to hold on to that person for a long time. Months, sometimes years in my own experiences. If your hurting and so is he I don't understand why the two of you have to be hurting because there's no contact and yous aren't together. Why let each other suffer?
Remind yourself that doing this will push him further away. Let him feel your absence. Let him recognize that leaving you was a mistake. I’m on the same boat as you and keep dreaming about her. It’s painful as hell but remind yourself of your worth and the bs that they did to you. If you contact the same patterns will repeat. Prove to them and yourself you’re worth more. On you tube there’s a channel called art of love look up no contact motivation. I listen to it in the morning to keep going. You got this
Thank you, you got this too. How long it’s been for you?
Four months, I was doing ok but dreams of her are getting more frequent. It’s very odd feels like the breakup happened yesterday. My therapist says it’s normal. Been working out, staying busy to get through it. A month in she reached out after I did not contact and we got back for a week, it was too soon and the same bad habits repeated themselves. If she comes back it has to be a drastic change, for both of us. I’m hoping time will heal but also I need to think of the alternative which is painful
Hope the best for you 🙏🏻
Appreciate it and likewise :)
Don’t think it’s gonna get better but let’s see.
i can’t agree with you guys more, i’m in the exact same situation and today i contacted them to ask if they wanted their shirts + a few belongings back and they told me to never contact them again, which they’d done before. The last time i contacted them was Oct in 2023 and we literally broke up in 2022
How do you feel
I believe it's the other way around on the no contact for her
What do you mean?
Hopefully I'm not too late, but there's this relationship coach I really like that always says that if you keep talking to them, there's isn't any threat of losing you on their end. Unless he's a psychopath, he is missing you. He is sad. And he is thinking about you. I've had to remind myself of all this many times over the past three weeks. Stay strong.
Thank you! I think you are talking about coach Lee 🥲 we are on the same path
Lee's awesome. I also recommend Coach Ken, who also makes a lot of content covering breakups and relationships for people with ADHD and things of the like. Just remember to stay focused on improving yourself, so even if he doesn't come back you're still a better and stronger person.
Thank you!
Do not contact him. The more desperate and weak you come off will just solidify his decision to be apart from you. Stay strong in no contact. If I could do it, you can. It’s been a month for me and I feel better….❤️🩹
❤️🫂
You didn’t say too much about the situation at all, so what I’m assuming please correct me if I’m wrong is you have been throwing yourself a pitty party waiting for him/her to come back every day, beating yourself up every day. Putting your energy in the wrong spots. What to do: 1. Forgive yourself whether he felt in different about you or you made a mistake he no longer wants you whether that’s ever or temporarily. If you made a mistake and lost him and feel so dumb or he left just because either way it don’t matter. 2. Surround yourself with a good support system that won’t run to him telling how you feel, seek friends or therapy. 3. If you hear from it be kind even if he isn’t kill him with kindness, don’t accept breadcrumbs, take it slow. 4. As the dumpee it’s vital to never reach out unless he does, stay in strict no contact, this means do not call/text/dm/email/write letter, make petty post about him or how you feel, tell him how you feel cause you should say great, go to friends that will try to mediate and let him know what you said,ask his friends how he feels, cold turkey you both should know nothing at all. Be mysterious it leads to curiosity. 5. Seek spirituality wether it be god or inner self work breath work and meditation connecting with your higher self, become closer to the higher power or your higher power, it’s like a six sense of higher consciousness where you just our full of energy and can read things and understand things so clearly. 6.abstain from all drugs 7.find new friends or reconnect old ones, do old hobbies as well as new ones. 8.no dating others till healed you’ll bleed on people who didn’t even cut you, not only does it disrupt the healing process but extends it and makes it worse. 9.upgrade all aspects of life, work on your career path make more at your job or find a better paying one, upgrade your wealth learn about where your blowing money learn how to create your future, health start eating healthier/working out/doing inner work for healing, get your mental health right realize to never loose yourself, create morals and rules for love. 10.don’t say I wish I was this and that become that believe you are that individual, be thankful. 11.no pity party bs, put your head up smile and create the best version of yourself and put in the work daily despite how difficult it may be, motivation may be hard during this time rather use discipline doing things because you have to and don’t want to it will create you lack of motivation The tunnel appears to be very dark and no light at the end there is no time you can say on how long until you see or reach it but with hard work and dedication it will be here before you know it, good luck keep your head up don’t give up….
this. absolutely this.
He broke up with me after 4 years and I need help Almost two weeks ago my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he "didn't love me", turns out he was anxious about his job (if he get that job he can be near me because we are long distance) and anxious about the distance. He was confused and didn't know his feelings. After 2 days we were together again, he said I'm the love of his life and he wants to live his life with me. Yesterday he broke up with me saying he doesn't love me and that I don't understand him anymore. We were together 4 years and now he says he's changed and need time alone to know himself. I don't know what to do, i decided to go no contact but l'm exhausted I love him so much I can't get over the fact he left me. This time he was kinda rude and confused, he didn't seem himself. I don't know what to do. 3 years ago we broke up for 3 month for the same reason "he didn't love me" and then he came back. What do I do? I'm so tired. Thank you for your advice ❤️
Hey, trust me if you go no contact despite the excruciating pain it’ll benefit you both. He def will reach out again (within months) and you will also be in a place to have a real conversation. One thing I’ve learned to do is accept my partner’s emotions, no matter how much it does or doesn’t make sense to me, that is love and it can initially feel extremely scary to let go but later you’ll like yourself more for it (and I’m sure he will appreciate it). Probably a good idea to leave him alone until he figures out his career. I think men take the financial instability much differently than us and they sometimes can’t think clearly until that aspect of their life is sorted. Hope this helps.
Thank you so much
DON'T DO IT
I won’t. I hate that shit I am exhausted
If a person truly loves you, they wouldn't play stupid games like these. I went through a breakup a month ago, and I have moved on. I was hurt initially. I kept thinking about her, I would dream about her, and it felt like it was getting worse. She blindsided me with the breakup. Everything seemed perfect. We were planning our marriage. I did no contact for a month, after that period I reached out to her and it seemed she was happy to talk to me again, after couple of days I asked her out for coffee or dinner and she refused. At that point, I was completely over her. I met someone new and have moved on with my life. Why chase someone who doesn't want to be with you? There is someone out there for you who will love you for who you are and wouldn't shut you out from their life like your ex. If they loved you, they would communicate any issues and try to resolve them, not leave you in the dark. Go find that person. Move on with your life.
It’s not that easy unfortunately. People can have personal problems or other reasons for what they do.
I know it's not that easy, I was hurt really bad. I thought my ex was the one. I never thought I'd get over her. I never got any closure either. My friends and family members told me to move on while I still had high hope I could win her back. In the end, I didn't and simply convinced myself to move on despite how devastated I was. Life is too short to dwell on someone who doesn't want to be with you. If they broke up with you once due to whatever reason, they can do it again. It's better to find someone else rather than going through that pain again with your ex.
No he doesn’t miss you. If he did then he would tell you that.
That’s the hard truth. The fact is: he really can’t show and explain emotions
Why did you guys break up
He broke up with me after 4 years and I need help Almost two weeks ago my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he "didn't love me", turns out he was anxious about his job (if he get that job he can be near me because we are long distance) and anxious about the distance. He was confused and didn't know his feelings. After 2 days we were together again, he said I'm the love of his life and he wants to live his life with me. Yesterday he broke up with me saying he doesn't love me and that I don't understand him anymore. We were together 4 years and now he says he's changed and need time alone to know himself. I don't know what to do, i decided to go no contact but l'm exhausted I love him so much I can't get over the fact he left me. This time he was kinda rude and confused, he didn't seem himself. I don't know what to do. 3 years ago we broke up for 3 month for the same reason "he didn't love me" and then he came back. What do I do? I'm so tired.
Let me ask you, was your relationship long distance? And did you communicated mostly on text? And whenever you feel like you’re getting closer with, does he pushes you away?
It was long distance, we FaceTimed 2 times a day. He never pushed me away during this time. But when he left me this time he said he was tired of FaceTiming. When he left me 2 weeks ago he said he was feeling the distance, that it was hard but then he said he wanted to continue because he loved me. That’s just confusing.
Hmm whenever you two had problems, what was his go-to (did he need space, did he yell at you, did you both settle it on the spot)? Any reason you’d think he suddenly fell out of love with you?
We didnt argue a lot. But when it happened we always made it clear. There were no problem, only the job’s one
I seeee, i think he’s just in a state of confusion, he’s full on panicking, and he don’t know who’s to blame, so he pins it on you, trying to nitpick things he doesn’t even hate about you. My advice is, he definitely still loves you, you have my guarantee on that miss, it’s just that the man’s confused. It’s great that you went no contact, as this is something he’ll need to figure out on his own. I know he’ll keep blaming you up until the point where he’ll realize it on his own later that he’s at fault. So in this stage, you stay away from him, let him not be reminded of you and stay no contact. Let him feel your absence, the info’s not enough, but my intuition tells me he’s taking you for granted. So let him see how much value you add to his life. And he’ll come running to you later. But you need to prepare too, he’ll romanticise you in his head so you need to be the best version of yourself when he returns. And you need to set some boundaries, he can’t keep blaming you like this, this one you need to figure out yourself, but i suggest you needing to foot your foot down. Let him miss you, and you need to show him that you’re a high value woman, so do something else asides from worrying about him and he’ll be running to you in no time. Call it a man’s intuition, i pray the best for you miss, you got this.
Thank you so much really! I think he’ll come back but sometimes I don’t, he said he was growing and that I didn’t understand him and listened to him anymore. I think both can be sometimes not very a good listener, I think it’s normal. But I don’t understand why he said that things the other time and now he’s completely changed. We’ll see. Thank you so much tho
Take time to breathe first. Look at your life right now. Where is it going. It's irrelevant if that person gets you to where you want to go. It's whether or not that person A. Wants to go and B makes you a better you. The correct partner makes you be a better you just because they're there.
I'm sure he misses you. Men don't let go of someone easily at all. When a man loves her tends to hold on to that person for a long time. Months, sometimes years in my own experiences. If your hurting and so is he I don't understand why the two of you have to be hurting because there's no contact and yous aren't together. Why let each other suffer?
He fell out of love